Singled Out

It's funny. We we talked about it, or I think Easterner Mark mentioned at the top of the podcast, before we were recording, Jared was quarantining on the East Coast, waiting things out, waiting for things to get better, and here he comes back to Los Angeles on what might be the worst day for the coronavirus. Yeah. I just actually and I just figured we'd wait till Los Angeles became an epicenter of the of the virus before decided

to fly back into it. You know, unbelievable. I know, we quarantined for three and a half months over on the East coast, planning on going back to the West coast, and by the time we get here, it's just only getting worse. But I mean, we're we're still quarantine, We're still we're staying inside. We're not going anywhere. It's an interesting strategy, Cot and I wonder if it's going to pay off for them. Oh well, I guess we'll find out. We've got a great episode for you guys today. We've

got Jared wants to ask me about Calin's birthday. I just want to tease it a little bit, Jared. Sorry, we have We've got a couple of guests calling in that are gonna share their experiences while dating during quarantine and the coronavirus. Have we talked to you guys. We haven't talked to you since we saw your appearance on Bachelor Greatest Seasons. Ever, I don't think we talked about that at all. Uh, you're right. Well, we recorded last time right before Calin's birthday and that was about two

weeks ago. So I have I have two questions for you. One, how is Calin's birthday? What did you guys do? And two, Uh, you revealed on the Greatest Seasons of all time that you got a are not married, but you wear promise rings pretty much. So finally we have our after like nine months of speculation. It's it's kind of funny. Actually, I'll get into the uh the Ring and the Greatest of All Time episode in a minute, because the story behind it's kind of funny. But Caitlin's birthday was good.

We drove out to Las Vegas. Her parents live out there, or her grandparents live out there, so we stayed with them for about a week and uh we went to like a restaurant on her birthday, which is a big treat for us. Obviously, we social distance and war masks when we weren't eating, but it was a good time. She was stoked to be around her family. Her uncle lives out there as well, so it was just nice for us to be able to kind of get away.

And her grandparents have like a pool and a gym and like a nice big house, which is just it's nice to get away from the apartment where you feel like you're kind of like a like a like a mouse trapped in a cage sort of thing. Um, yeah, the the I don't think that I did as well for her birthday as she did for mine. She knocked out of the park and she kind of set the bar at like a unttatable level. But I did my best.

I you know, I got her some some sentimental presence and uh, I just made sure to focus in on her all day. Uh. And I would say that she was pretty pleased with with how everything worked. I can't I don't want to speak on her behalf, but that's just my interpretation of it. Um. So yeah, that was it. And then yeah, we have Greatest of All Time, which we recorded, uh not too long after or no, I guess we recorded Greatest of All Time before because I still had my hair and then we shaved my head

before we went to Vegas for her birthday. So we record the Greatest at All Time. And I was kind of like if you as to whether or not I was like I even wanted to be part of it. Uh, But at the end of the day, were like whatever, Like what what do we have to lose? There's no

point in not doing it. Um. And we were supposed to record at seven pm, and I like teet off with my buddies at like three thirty pm in West l A. And I was like, dude, I know that we're probably not gonna be able to power through around the golf in three hours, but we're gonna try it. Anyways.

And I was on the fifteen pole, uh, and I was like, it's like it was like six thirty and it was like a twenty minute drive, and so I was like, I just basically beered off and was sprinting through the golf course and I had like, uh, you know, I had like two beers at the time too, so I had a pee really bad. Uh. Get in the car, get back to Kitlin's apartment literally at like seven oh five, and the recording was supposed to start at seven um,

but it started a little bit later than expected. I literally sat down, put the microphone on, and we started recording right away. And then we answered the question of the rings. And I like didn't really you know, I kind of expected them to ask the question. I didn't really like plan a response and anythink that, but uh, but yeah, I answered it in that way that I

had never really answered it before. And after we were done recording, Klin looked over at me and she goes, oh, I can't believe you actually answered that with more of a firm answer. Than you have been before, where it's always like this open ended what is it? What is in it? Sort of thing. Um, So, yeah, it's the intimidation of Chris Harrison. Chris Harrison, he should be a lawyer.

I guess it was. I was just like I was, Yeah, I was like just so frazzled and flustered from having like rush home so quickly, getting getting back to the apartment, having to like put everything on, like the microphone and everything, and like sitting down and call them like being going with me for being so late, and so I was just like in a mode where I was just like

I'm just gonna talk my butt off. What is it about guys where we feel like we can just get everything done in a time span that is impossible to get things done in like if like, for example, if we have to if like we have dinner at six, I'll get in the shower at like five fifty. If we have to leave the house by six, it's like, all r, I'm gonna shower, and she's like it's five. In ten minutes. I'm like, yeah, it'll be fine, and then I'm ready by six, But like, why didn't I

shower an hour earlier. I don't know what the hell was I I agree, but it does have a way of always working itself out in my experience, at least where it's like, yeah, if it's if you're gonna do something, just wait till the last minute and it'll get done when it gets done, I mean, and it never seems to it's like, yeah, maybe it's let me down a couple of times, but I would say it's it's more successful more often than the majority of time it works

out well it was. I'm glad that Calin's birthday went well. Significant other birthdays are always high pressure. I always feel like I suck at giving Ashley gifts. I feel I feel the same way you do. I feel like actually always out gives me because she's just so good at it. I don't know if it's a girl thing or maybe Calin and Ashley are just specifically really good at giving gifts.

But I'm sure you did a wonderful job, team, because you've been doing uh You're you're a very sweet, sentimental guy. So if you gave sentimental gifts that Calin, I'm sure. I think birthdays are especially hard because there's an expectation there whereas like if you're just getting gifts throughout the year for like random days, like just for like a Wednesday, like you come home with flowers or something like that. Like those I think are more thoughtful because there is

no expectation. But there's also a lot more pressure on the birthdays because it's like, Okay, it's their birthday. What are you gonna do for him? Are you gonna equal or exceed what they did for you? Are you going to come in a little bit lower to kind of like re recalibrate and restabilize what's going on here? So birthdays tricky. Do you get random gifts for Forklin? And if so, what are they? Yeah, I mean I'll like, uh,

like I got her some artwork to hang for her apartment. Uh, little things throughout the week, like I'll get her flowers or I will like if I'm out golfing with my buddies, I'll be sure to like come home with dinner or something like that, Like small things like that, you know what I mean, So that you care? That makes sense? What what type of flowers do you get? Kaylin? Do you give her roses? No? I'm not not a big rose guy. Even before the bachelor. I was never a

big rose guy. Like, yeah, I had gotten girlfriends roses before, but I think there's just a little too cliche. I like to go with like the lilies or the tulips. Those are very I'm definitely not a red rose guy. I can never give actually a red rose just because it's too weird now, but I get well, the thing about roses is different colors have different meaning. Like orange roses. I mean I think they mean like passion and pink roses every like the white rose, I think it's a

friendship rose. So don't get a white rose. I think yellows friendship. Yellows friendship. Okay, so don't get a yellow one, whichever one it is. Let us know sucky daters that help I suck a dating Instagram coming below. Let us know which rose is meaning for each color, because I truthfully don't know. But yeah, I like to think of different things too. Um. I used to be a lot better. I will say, after Ashley and I got married, I've

been slacking. I still get her random gifts here and there, but I used to do it like on a weekly basis, And I really gotta start putting more effort into that I'm sure, just like we all do. UM, but I do want to talk about something before we have. So, like Dean said, we have a panel of single people during this COVID nineteen pandemic, and I'm very interested to get their perspective on dating and relationships right now, because obviously Dean and I are in relationships and we're very

lucky because we're quarantine with their significant other. Or maybe not so lucky, but uh, just kidding. Uh. There was an article, Dean that I wanted to talk to you about that I was perusing the internet for and uh it's about commitment issues, people with commitment issues, And I thought who better to speak on this than our very own Dean Angler, who has been very public about his uh commitment issues. Uh. And how you're getting so much better at it, which is pretty cool. We're watching you

grow in front of our eyes. But it's it's from a website called your tango dot com. Not sure what the website is, but regardless, Uh. And the title says eight facts about dating people with commitment issues, as written by a woman who has them. So, Dean, I want to talk about these eight commitment issues, uh, or these eight facts that apparently you need to know about dating someone with commitment issues, and I want to see if you agree with them or if you disagree with them.

Got it? Yeah, let's hear it alright. So Number one, you cannot change someone else's fear of commitment and says, if you're dating someone who has a fear of commitment with the belief that they will commit to you if you give them the time, love them enough, or show them how great relationships can be, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. There's only one person who can change someone's commitment issues, and that is the person who has them themselves.

And people only change themselves if they say see a need for change. Yes, I agree wholeheartedly with that statement. For me, from my experience, it was very much the same thing. Uh. I can never speak and say exact that. Girls that I have dated have tried to break me out of my commitment phobia, but it wasn't until I addressed it within myself that I was really able to overcome it, if you will, So it's definitely something that

you have to tackle with it within yourself. And if anybody is listening out there who feels like they're dating somewhere or want to date someone who they feel like has commitment issues, then you should probably listen up because you might see their perspective on things. Number two, people with commitment issues get portrayed as bad guys or bad girls, but we're so not, not all of us anyway. Not

wanting commitment doesn't mean we're uncaring or selfish. It doesn't mean we don't care about you or want you in our life. It just means we don't foresee wanting a commitment, and we aren't going to pretend otherwise. If we pretended we wanted that stuff just to get close to you, that would be careless, uncaring, and selfish. And there are some jerks who do do that. Those are the bad guys.

If we're telling you up front, we're If we're telling you about it upfront, our commitment ship, commitment issues up front, we're doing it because we want you to understand what it means to date us, so you can make a

decision with your eyes wide open. I agree, and I've actually been criticized for this in the past, where I am overly expressive and communicative of my shortcomings, especially when it comes to commitment, and I like kind of leave it up to the girls to make the decision for themselves. So I think you can kind of go both ways.

It's like, yeah, all you're doing is giving them information, but at the same time, like maybe your actions say otherwise, and so they're putting stock in your actions and not so much into your words. But I do agree, like to an extent, I think that it's obviously a lot worse to like lie about things just to kind of get what they want from you, which is typically you know, sex. I guess you would say, um, but from my experience,

I never thought of myself as a bad guy. I just thought that I've got a lot of issues, and I still got a lot of issues. I'm still working on it, but i'd like to I don't like to think that I'm a bad guy. You're not a bad guy at all, and don't we all have issues. I remember, actually before we became good friends, watching you on Bachelor in Paradise season four and really just not understanding why

you were so villainized because you're you made mistakes. But I mean we've talked about this on the podcast before. You were very honest with everybody. You weren't lying to anyone, and even when that stuff was going on, I was like, I know this looks bad, but I'm just like telling telling everyone involved in what's going on exactly what's going on with the other person too, so they can like, like, I almost wanted one of them, And this is entirely

like my idios idiosity. I wanted. I was being overly communicative with both of them because I wanted one of them to dump me and essentially make my mind up for me. And that was, you know, obviously twenty year old Dean being an idiot. I don't I wouldn't do that anymore. I don't recommend it to other people, but I think that was where my mindset was at the time. I was like, you guys, make this decision for me. The first one to dump me, I'll just end up

with the other one. It's not I don't recommend it. I don't think. I'm not proud of it, but I think that's what was going through my head at the time. Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Maybe not the smartest, but I totally get your point. Number Three, people who fear committing see relationships differently. Society has this obsession with committed relationships and marriage as the pinnacle of existence, and well,

we don't buy it. We think there are a mirrored ways to have a relationship and it doesn't always have to look like what our parents had. Did I write this art because it's by some guy named Dean Ungler, I don't know, babies. I whole heartily agree with that too as a society, and not to not to take

away anything from marriage. I know you're married, markis and are all married beautiful relationships, but we set this standard for any relationship that you're always working up to get married and if you don't reach marriage, it was a failed relationship. And I think that that's just not entirely true. I think that younger generations are beginning to see that. Uh and well, I do think that marriage is a beautiful uh sink relationship between two people. It's like a

great thing to have happened. I don't think it's necess sarily. It doesn't have to always be the end of be all for any relationship. I agree, and this is coming from someone who's married. Number four. We're the best people to talk to about our commitment issues. We all have our own reasons for shying away from commitment more often than not. It's not because we want our love life to resemble in all you can eat buffet, but that

isn't always the case. What we tell you might make more sense to you than you think, or maybe it won't, but it'll definitely be more accurate than what anyone else has to say about it. That's pretty generic, but I guess I agree with it. I think a self aware of commitment fobe is an incredibly reliable source for someone

that's dealing with dating issues. They're like, I have friends who are commitment fobes, but who on the surface try not to be, pretend not to be, act like they're not, speak like they're not, but they really really are, and you don't, like, you don't really get anywhere during in a conversation with them because they're not willing to I guess, express what they are. They're not willing to address it.

And then because of that, like all of their advice becomes astercized, ostracizes out a word, you put an aster on it because you don't really you kind of have to take with a grain of salt, you know, Yeah, I agree, number fine people with commitment issues tend to make accepting partners. The thing is, since we're not planning on legally binding ourselves to anyone, we don't care all that much about some of the stuff that other people

are going to get hung up on. Your messiness, bad credit, low paying job, messy divorce, debt, horrible driving record doesn't affect most of us in any real way. Are you a cool human who maybe has a messy life, whatever it happens. If you're a walking disaster, it's a problem. But generally speaking, that stuff is your business, not ours. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that too. I guess I think I'm kind of more on the giving end of the messiness

than the receiving end of the messiness. But maybe that's why I'm such a commitment fobus, because I know that the person that's gonna eventually, if if it happens, commit to me, they're gonna have to deal with my you know, look, credit score, a messiness, laziness. Oh yeah, smells. I told Ashley we first started, before we started dating, I was like, listen, you have a total different perception of what I actually am. I am a in mess and get ready for you.

Number six people with a fear of commitment can still be capable of feeling incredibly deep love. We know, we know this goes against everything anyone thinks about us, but it's true for a lot of us. It's what scares us the most about relationships. We feel things intensely, we love wholeheartedly, and it's often bitten us in the behind adds that an aversion to following the fairytale script and

loving becomes a complicated thing. But if we fall for you, it's going to be that earth shattering, life changing kind of love. It probably will not lead to a ring or a picket fence, but it will be its own kind of beauty. Yeah, yeah, great. Do you feel like you love deeply? Dean? Uh took a question and I don't really know how to answer that. I think that I have. I think that I am continuing to work on my ability to feel that way again if I want to feel that way again. I don't think I'm

there yet. Uh. But you look back on any level, and we've talked about this and quite a bit of depth on this podcast before, is like the kind of love that you felt for your high school sweetheart is never gonna be be able to be replicated because it's like you're an idiot when you were sixteen years and it's the first time you felt those feelings. Yeah, like the first time exactly like that. It's very impactful, right, Uh.

And so as time moves on, I don't know, all right, Well, we do have our guests on the line, so we will finish the last two seven and a a little bit later in the podcast, but right now we have our guests who are waiting on the line. And before we get to our panel of single people dating during this COVID nineteen pandemic, let's take a quick break. Welcome back to help I suck at dating. Uh. Dean and Jared here obviously, and we have a great panel that's

joining us right now. Uh. Of well, to be frank single people, because we're a dating podcast, and Dean and I are both obviously in relationships, and we want to get the perspective of people who are dating right now. And I'd love to know the world of dating, especially with everything that's going on with social distancing and quarantine and all that. So let me introduce the panel one by one. First, from California, the Bay Area. She's twenty

years old. She's a senior at San Diego State universitily and she is in an It's complicated relationships which will dive into a Lanta uh later, Hannah, Hannah, thanks for joining us. Yeah, of course. Oh how you doing good? How are you? I miss you guys. I know we miss you too. Sorry, Hannah. I didn't even realize it was you until I looked at a little gallery. Honna. You you've you've helped us in a Uh. Have you been on the podcast before? I know this is my

first time. Oh well yes, And for the listeners out there, Hannah works very closely with the I Heart team, so we see here often at the Heart radio events. Yeah. We also have another person from the Bay Area, twenty seven years old and currently single, em Lynn. Em Lynn, thanks for joining us. Thank you single? What a time to be single? All right? Uh? And then also we wanted a guy's perspective, obviously, so also from California. He

plays football at Syracuse University. And can you probably beat up both Dean and myself at the same time, Ethan, Ethan, how you doing, Bud good good? Thank you for having me. No man, thanks for coming on. We really appreciate it. Uh. And then last but certainly not Leash. She's twenty six years old, born in Kentucky but apparently has lived everywhere else. Uh, plays basketball, you see l A and apparently is gonna be in Space Jam two, which is freaking awesome. Nicole, Nicole,

how are you? WHOA? Oh, I'm so good, Nicole, You're in Space Ham two. Yes, it was the best summer of my life. Not this summer. It was last summer when we found um. But I'm ann's incredible. People like Denzel Washington coming in on set just wanting to check in, Michael B. Jordan, like just everybody's there, you know, just wanting to see what's up the space Jam. So it was so much fun. I know you probably can't talk about it, but like the mon Stars coming back, what's

bugs Bunny? Like in real life? Is Bill Murray making a cameo? So um, the Looney Chums they're all drawn in so like they're kind of like a stick figure. I wasn't being serious about bugs there, but the the Monstars are. I can't say much, but I'm a I'm a character in it and we are. Mom start like, I'll just leave it at that. It's gonna be awesome. Um, well that is awesome. I'm super excited for you and that's like the coolest thing I've heard in a very

long time. So congratulations on that. But you're obviously on help us like a dating everybody, thank you for being here. Uh, and we are a dating podcast, So we wanted to get your perspective on some dating during this quarantine. I want to know, first and foremost, has anybody gone on a date during quarantine right now? I have not? Unfortunately no, so no, So like, all right, let's start with Emlyn. Emlyn, what is it like to be single right now and not have gone on a date for four months? How

are you doing mentally? I'm going to make you feel like you've never been less jealous in your life. But I lost my job, I moved home. I live at home with my parents right now in South Carolina. Times are a little tough. I'm living on an island. Um that's ten miles long in The average age is sixty five. So I haven't been on any dates. But I've been texting with the guys from the past. Oh so you started going. Have you talked to like any ex boyfriends? Yeah?

So right before this, my boyfriend and I broke up Um, interesting timing, but I have not gone back to him. I've gone back to guys prior to him. So just really feeling it all out. I mean, that's all we can do. I mean, so is anybody else talking to excess right now? Seeing how we're bored as hell? Yeah, I'm similar to EML and I. So I came back from college and I've been talking to my X from high school and that's just because it's just the easiest.

But and like, especially as you got farther and deeper into quarantine and and more time at home, I feel like you definitely get moment like I know you fee for like some connection. So is it weird at all? Like Ethan? And you can obviously answer this discreetly if you want. Do you find that you're talking to an X more because you want to talk to him or

more because it's just easier? Um? I think I think it's a mixture of both, because because since you already have like you don't have to go through the whole talking stage again and like the whole intro introduction and like feel each other out the type. Um, it's just it's just easier, you know, just to spend time without it being super awkward as opposed to where if it was normal and you have to meet someone you know, it's it's like fun, the whole chase and stuff. But

now it's just it's just easier. It's just yeah, simple, nobody wants to chase because everybody wants to be six ft away. I've got a question for you guys. So in ethan uh and Emlyn's case, do you, guys and Nicole, I'm not sure if you're talking to next as well, do you guys do you address that? Are you like, look, obviously you're quarantined, Like do you do you broach the topic or do you basically just kind of keep it

Mom's the word sort of thing. I'm sort of just talking to them as if nothing's happened and saying still that can action. But with my most recent acts there's certainly not so um, not really bringing up quarantine much, just seeing if they still like me. Yeah, I'd say it's more of a don't ask, don't tell type of thing, is it is? So, Nicole, I saw your hand go up to So now that you guys were talking to your X, are you thinking about getting back together? Like?

Has this quarantine put different perspective on your relationships. So my scenario is odd and the fact that I'm kind of similar to you Emelyn where we broke up kind of right before quarantine, and the reason being was, I mean, he was very serious, He's like the greatest guy if he's out there, but he uh like it was kind of went down to a marriage type of talk and I just wasn't really ready. And so now, of course

through quarantine you're like, oh my gosh, I wish. But I then though, started talking to this other guy throughout this process, and I was actually gonna go on a date with him, but he lives in a different state and I was going to fly to see him, and literally like two days right before my flight, he tested positive. He plays football and he took positive for COVID. So then that's the damp on things. So I almost thought

him like, is that like a timing thing? Like this just shouldn't work out, like you know, So it's just a lot of stuff going on, obviously, but being sick with COVID kind of you know, strike one. Yeah, you don't want to date someone who's testing positive COVID right now, so you're gonna fly out to see this guy, So did you did you know this person before him? Um? Sort of like in high school. Uh, we have like a bunch of mutual friends that his cousins went to

my high school. Like I had seen him around and like I knew he wasn't some random stranger like I just struck up a conversation with um, but I didn't know him that well. So yeah, I was kind of like, we've been talking for a while, and it's like, do we want something to happen here? Like if not on not doing anything, you're not doing anything. Let's get this movement.

So we tried. But then scripting halls, let me ask you this, if you do guys, if you plan on meeting up with him at any point, are you going to require him to show you like a failed COVID test. I think I hope I trust him. He was telling me he's like Nicole, my immune system is so good. Trust me. I'm like, okay, COVID. But he was asymptomatic, and so I think like after two weeks or asymptomatic, then you're good to go, Like even you can still test positive and just be fine. So I guess I

just crossed my fingers and hope that he's okay. But yeah, I probably wouldn't. I'm I'm pretty la fair. What about the rest of you guys, if you were to go on a date in person, would you require the person that to show you like a failed COVID test. Maybe, but probably not. You're just like, you're just like, screw it, We're just gonna we're gonna take their chances. Well, I actually I already had it, so I think that I'm

like not as scared about it it right now since ye. Yeah, So I was studying abroad earlier this year and I got sent home early from my program and I got home mid March, and then like two days after I came home, got a fever and then went to doctor and tested positive. Um, how sick did you get because you're very young. Yeah, I feel lucky because I didn't feel that sick. I mean, I had a fever for maybe two days. The worst thing was like my headache and I had weird chest pain, like it was pretty

hard to breathe. But other than that, it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be,

which was kind of nice. That is lucky. I mean, it's just such a weird time because obviously we talked about like the vulnerable population, and like Emily and you were talking about how you're living with your parents right now, so like knock on wood, statistically speaking, like nobody here would have to hopefully worry about it too much if they ended up getting it, but you'd be worried about passing on into your parents, grandparents and so on and

so forth. But I also want to talk about, as anybody been on dating apps during this time, is are you guys just like swiping left and right constantly? Because I feel like, honestly, if I was single right now, I'd be so bored on my mind that I would

be on every dating out there. Is. I downloaded Hinged for a hot second, and I tried that out, and I thought, you know, maybe something because I've never done it before because I've been in a relationship for a while and go on there and I'll talk and I'm just like, that's not worth it, and then I'll delete it, and then maybe a few weeks will pass, I'll upload it, download it again, and I just delete it. So, yeah, it's just a circle, round and round. Is anybody else

on dating apps? Yeah, I'm on Riya, and I resort to it when I get bored. But I feel like the conversations just a little surface level. So that's why I keep resorting back to my past, because those guys are easier to talk to. Yeah, when I when I first got back, I was like, oh man, I need to get a Tinder. So I hopped on Tinder and then the yeah, some of that after like a week, like it gets pretty boring, so then yeah, I kind

of just that stops. Well, it's got to be tough because dating apps are tough in general because most of the time you talk to someone for so long and you guys either end up not meeting up or it takes like two weeks of conversation for someone to meet up. But now, are you going to really meet up with anybody? Or if you guys do, is it gonna be like

are you gonna wear masks? Like if any of if you guys go on dates right now, would you go on would you meet up at a restaurant with someone or would you rather have a social distance date, stay six ft away where masks so on and so forth. No, I think I'd still like go to I'd go to their house. And pick them up. I'd be as comfortable as they are. So if they're if they want to stay six ftpartly, that's fine. But if they're comfortable like like going in the same car, then I would be

fine with it. That's probably the same approach I would take too. It is funny the whole dating app thing, because it's like the whole purpose in my opinion, and it sounds like you guys kind of would agree with this too. Is the whole purpose of being on a dating app is to like start talking to someone, but then if you're interested, immediately, uh meet them in person to see if there's like a deeper connection, and obviously

you're not. Really you are able to do that, but it's still a little bit trickier nowadays, so it's like as entertaining as a dating app might be. I can understand why you guys would be more interested in talking to people as you are, you know, because it's just like you've already kind of bridge that gap and you don't have to go through the whole semantics of where are you from, where do you grow up? All those types of things, so I see where you're coming from.

I guess we can stick to like until this whole thing starts fading away. But what are your like, what are your guys thoughts on on kissing, like being intimate right now? Same thing, just to just go with whoever whatever the other person is most comfortable with or what do you think The reason I asked this is because it's someone who's like quarantine with with my like my significant other that doesn't have to worry about this, Like

I freak out when someone walks past me on the sidewalk. Now, granted I might be a little bit of a hypochondriact, but that's just me. But like dating, I'd be really nervous and it sounds stupid. I wish I could be more laser fair like you, Nicole, but I'm just not. And I want to get your thoughts about it, like, because this is a real thing for you guys that

you have to think about. I mean, if you'd already spent a lot of time with them, I think the more time you spend, the more comfortable you'll get with the person. And also like, like I would need to be really attracted them and really like into them and create like more of a connection you Like, I feel like it really diminishes the hookup culture, Like you don't want to just go around and like getting with anyone because that poses a real risk to both of you guys.

So now it's really like really made more important, like actually how you feel about the other person and you know, like if you've gone out with them, spend time with them, then I feel more comfortable. Um so yeah, I feel like it's definitely made made the intimacy more important. What do you guys, what do you think it's gonna be like after this is all over? Like once, uh, let's say America is like okay, everything's perfectly fine, come like

August one. Do you think everyone's gonna like be hitting the bar is hard, trying to hook up with as many people as possible or is it going to be one of those things where it's going to be less of a priority? Do you think? Like what? What do

you think it's gonna be? Like? I guess honestly, this has kind of been my dream come true for dating maybe because in twenty seven, but I've kind of slowed my role on the hookup culture at late night at bars, so I kind of like having an excuse not to kiss on the first date um, because it makes me look a little harder to get but be I don't

want to get my parents sick living with them. Um. But I've always been a big fan of day dates and meeting up outside and going to have like a you know, wine in the park or walk around the city or whatever. So this is kind of my dream come true. I don't know if that's if that's attractive to any guys, but hopefully to someone out there, I think to your credit to there's less of an expectation after a day date, you know what I mean. Definitely, Yeah,

that's always a good thing too. What about the rest of you, guys, do you think it's gonna Is it going to motivate you to like go to the bars and hook up with more people or is it? Is it kind of uh? And again this is like assuming everything is back to normal, because I feel like people are gonna be like these horny bunny rabbits that are funnally out of their cages and they just want to go around and hump anything that they could be wrong.

Bunny rabbits are notoriously horny creatures. I'm just saying, Guys after COVID might be the same way, I'd have to say, and I feel like we're spirit animals. I'm the same way. I'm actually at my parents' house right now. I am in Nashville, Tennessee, and I've been there with a bunch like probably like two or three months now. Like I've been back and forth to l in here. Um, and it's different, like even in the South. Um, we have a house in Kentucky as well, and like it's just

not like some people, it's like nothing ever happened. I mean you're not even required to wear masks. Like it's almost Yeah, you go to the growth where everything's fine.

People are still close and proximity talking. Um. But I definitely, I think it just depends on who you are, for after the fact of like if if you are like this party bunny rabbit like maybe, but I think some people just yeah, how comfortable they are, like if if they want to, they will, but if they're still scared and kind of more of a safe person and they'll

kind of dial it back like animaline. But Ethan, what about you, Um, well, yeah, hopefully I'm going we'll have classes in the fall for college, so I think there'll be a lot of people, you know, once they go back to school will be like that. Um, Personally, I don't. I don't think I'm not like, that's not the main reason why I'm like looking forward to going back to school, Like I'm just excited to see like people and socially

socially interact. But for sure there will be a lot of people more um, more motivated to go out more than maybe they would have last year, um, purely to get with girls. Yeah, absolutely, Hannah, what do you think, um? I mean personally, I feel like this whole quarantine has made me really antisocial. Like I don't find like I don't see myself really wanting to even like go out. And I don't know, I feel like I just forgot

how to talk to people and be social. Also, but I think in a general sense, if we're speaking like overall, I think people might be really excited just be around people again and go crazy. I can see that happening. Yeah, I agree. All right, Before you guys go, I do want to ask you some like rapid fire questions. Uh, just like quick little nuggets can be quick answers. I'll ask quick questions, um, and so uh why don't we

do uh? Emlyn Nicole Hannah and then Ethan, and so we'll go on that order just so we can, like, you know, be somewhat organized as best as we can be. Over zoomed all ready. Alright, So some would you guys rather go on a first day dinner? Or drinks? Drinks? Dinner? Drinks dinner? There we go? Who should ask somebody on the first day? Guy or girl? Or it doesn't matter? Yeah? Guy? Who should pay for first date? I'm going, oh, Dean? Yeah? Why am I forgetting to include Dean in this? You

say girl? Girls should ask me for both of those questions? Um? Who should pay for the first day? Guy? Girl? Doesn't matter? The guy? Guy? The guy? I think you ever asked the person on the day? You should pay? All right? I like a Dean coming with fire? Um would you rather go? Uh? Oh? So say you meet someone on like Instagram? Uh? What would you're opening? How do you get noticed on Instagrams? That makes sense? Like, you like somebody that's cute, You see the pictures? What do you do?

Do you like their picture? Do you come at their picture? Do you d M them? What's your first move? That's tricky? I like I've been kind of doing that lately. Where I say I have crushed on a guy, or I

like where they look. I'll try to like stop their pictures to get some intel, um something funny, like I don't like these cheesy random pickup lines, Like I want to pretend like I don't know I can swoop them off their feedza somehow, but like, I don't know, you just got to kind of get to know them, even though they have no idea who you are. All the first, make sure they follow back if I'm going after him, and then a d M. Yeah, I feel like maybe I just follow them on Instagram and hope that I

like catch their attention. But I don't know, I can't ever see. I mean, I've never like DM someone being like hey I think you're really attractive or anything like that. I'm kind of like shy in that way. Let me just like follow them like a couple of their recent pictures. See if that works. Okay, Yeah, yeah, I've never really had much success with the team, so I'm not gonna lie.

I don't Maybe it's just the way I come off, or maybe just my opening lines are very good, so I like, I don't know, I've never really had much success like starting off with social media to begin with, well, what's your opening line? Because now I'm curious. But like, if you think a girl is like, you know, good looking, you could you could tell her, but then you just kind of look plain or boring, so then you can you can. I try to try jokes, but those usually

then I just come off looking like an idiot. So I don't know. Maybe I just need more variety, but I don't. I don't do too well when I start off with Instagram. There's always that. One of the most often ones I received is like someone like send an emoji of a dog, and then the text would be like faster, get back here, sorry he's always running away from you, or something like that. That's pretty funny, but

I see that one too many times. Our friend Nick has always encouraged people that find someone attractive on Instagram to like scroll to an older pick, maybe like a year or two old. Send that pick to them and be like if it's like if there's like a dog in the picture, be like, oh, you have a really cute dog, or something like something along those line. Is that way they know that you're going far enough back and it's still personal enough, so that sounds creepy. That

sounds creepy to be. I mean, let's all be honest with ourselves. Whenever we find someone attractive on Instagram that we want to potentially date, we definitely creep pretty far. So it's you know, I mean this is very true. Um, So let's pretend that we're all back to normal. You guys are out at bars. What is something somebody can do to get your attention? It's so like if they say, like they walk over to you, what is something that they can do where you think to yourself, Okay, I

like this person. Gosh, I don't know. Um, maybe if I saw him across the bar, what would I do? I don't know. Maybe if they're just giving me the eye where it's like, okay, they're not a creep, but it's just like a confident smile and then they come up and then just try to I don't know, they have to play it cool where they're normal, but I know they're not trying too hard. Okay, Oh gosh, I

don't even know. I think maybe if they would like a approach me and like conford to buy me a drink, Like I don't know, I feel like I can't get a good gauge on people, especially at bars, like if I'm into them or not, I would have to talk to them. So definitely if someone would come up to me and just start a conversation, Ethan, what would like, do you use an opening line when you approach a girl at a bar or do you do you try to play it cool and just walk up and introduce yourself. Um? Yeah,

I can try to play it cool. That's not always going to work though, because you might you might meet a girl that's not looking for a cool guy. Maybe she's looking maybe she's more goofy or like you know, it's spunky. Um no, I would I would like just like a really a girl that's like really comfortable with this conversation and like having a good time, especially if you're at a bar, Like if she's like, you know, if you can like laugh and tell a joke or

she's funny, like that would catch my attention. The hard thing about a guy playing it cool at a bar is uh, if there's a girl that you are like interested in or you think is cute. By playing hard to get at a bar, there's gonna be like twenty other guys that are not playing hard to get that are gonna like find a way to swoop in and circumvent your advances in any sort of way. So it's

like kind of tricky for a guy. I feel like those guys at bars don't have any shame, right right, and so for Ethan people like Ethan and I'm the same way too, Like I'd rather just like play it cool. It's like by playing it cool, you're almost like not even putting yourself in the game, you know what I mean. So it's like sometimes it works, sometimes doesn't work, but

I don't know. Yeah, if you're playing cool, you gotta hope that they have a lot of interest than you, because if they don't, then they're just then you're not even shooting your shot, like you know, all right, last two questions, what is the best uh physical feature of somebody that you're interested in? For example, like what do you like most physically? And it can't be smiled because no one can see smiles for the next six months anyway. Mask you know, I'm tall, I'm six ft like six

one ish. I mean, if I want to wear heels, like all these small guys are always coming up, I'm like, oh boy, like I am looking down on you, this isn't gonna work. And like my family and my little brother is seven to my dad six nine, other brothers sixth nine, Like he is gonna seven to brother Yeah, like we're all basketball player. He was on the next like we're all Like I mean, I just like height

is I love good eyes though, of course too. But if I can't see your eyes because they're way down there, it's just not gonna work. Okay, makes sense now while you're in spacem two, got it? I would say hype too,

but also build like big guys. That's what I first noticed in the guy if they're like, wait, so you like big muscles, Yeah, not necessarily big muscles, Like I kind of like an extra like padding on guys sometimes, Like I don't know, I just want to guys, So you would you rather have like a dad bought like because I'm confused, are you talking about like the rock? Are you talking about like just like a guy who's got like a few extra like a few extra pounds

isn't bother me. I don't hate dad bonds, but definitely just like big like big muscles. Yeah, I guess I just like the look of someone being bigger rather than skinny, because then I feel like I can't even be attracted to you, honestly. Yeah, even what about you? And when you see a girl, what do you find attractive? Oh, definitely you look at face first, but then specifically like I definitely say eyes and teeth or like smile. You said, no, smile, man,

there's I know. I know that. I know that's why. So I guess I. Um, yeah, heights not that important. I mean like five five three probably would be cut off. Um, yeah, that's space first, though, Dean, what about you? Boobs for sure? Total boops, big bos, big boops. Guy over there, Now, I'm just kidding. Come on, man, I would say smile too. I'm I'm in the same campus, Ethan. I know that's obviously not allowed to be an answer because of the mass situation, but smile eyes. You know what about you?

Oh God, I don't know. I guess it's so cliche. Eyes, you know, yeah, eyes boobs are always a great answer, but you know, definitely eyes a but but high but it's good. I don't know what a high butt is, but yeah, it's definitely sounds good. All right, Hey, guys, thank you so much for being part of the panel with us. We appreciate you. Good luck with dating during quarantine, good luck rekindling with all your ex is, whether that's uh gonna be a thing even post quarantine or not,

but we wish your best to luck. Thank you for sharing your experiences and got speed. Thank you, Thanks guys, thanks for coming on, thank you, welcome back. Help I suck at daters. We just finished up our panel. That was pretty good. Your your your boobs joke fell pretty flat, but other than that, I thought it went really well. Apparently I'm not allowed to like boobs. Apparently that's a

frowned upon thing. The reason why my joke didn't get a laugh was because of the connection error, that connectivity issues that we're in in here. So I agree. I laughed, but apparently, uh, nobody else did. I don't know what the hell happened. I thought it was really funny. Listen, we're genetically programmed to appreciate a good set of boobs. I mean, it's just science. Um uh yeah. I mean it was cool to get perspective of single people dating

during this time, because and that's insane. I would like I was saying, when they were on dude, I would be terrified. I'm terrified now and I don't have to go near anybody like I was. I was walking Lowest earlier today and there was a guy jogging on my side of the sidewalk, but and he was he was like sprinting, and so like I kind of got flustered because I had my I wasn't near anybody, so I had my mask underneath my chin, so I like I was trying to pull Lowest back and then put my

mask over my chin. And all the dude had to do was like going the street for a second no one was coming, and just run six ft away from me. But he literally ran right past me, no mask, like two ft away and it's fine, but like in my head, I'm like, that guy got light too freaking close. And so the idea if I was single of like going on social distancing dates and having to abide by social distancing rules, I don't know, it's crazy. It's a crazy

world we're living in right now. Yeah, it's that's I think we're both fortunate and the fact that we don't have to put ourselves in this situation of having to go on dates, especially during this time. Uh, we're lucky in that sense some of us aren't so lucky. But yeah, I guess I don't know how I would handle it. I think I would be kind of more along the

lines of how Ethan was saying. He's handling it where he's like, he's as comfortable as the other person is going to be, So like, if the other person wants to stay six ft apart the whole time, he'll do that. If the other person is comfortable, and obviously they're both healthy with being a little bit closer than that, then he'll do that as well. So I respected his answers for the most part. Yeah, I respected to um. Again, I would just be worried about like being asymptomatic and

passing it on until you know older people. But it's but like at some point, you know, like what are you supposed to do? Your mental health is a big part of life, and you can't just go on not you know, exploring different facets of of being in a relationship. So I don't know, but I'm glad they came on. It was really interesting. It was very fascinating and uh, just something we don't have to deal with. So Jared,

give us an update in your life. Man, I feel like we haven't really heard much fromulately what's happening in my life when we're back in l A. We're back at the apartment with flew back last week and UH wore our mass the entire time. Everybody was still. It was, you know, nerve racking, at least for me, being in in an airport, you know, surrounded by hundred of people, and you know, most people are adhering to social distancing

and pretty much everybody's wearing masks. But you always have like those outliers that are just standing like three ft away from you, and it's like, what are you doing? Just back up, you know so and then you have like those people too that are like kind of taking off their masks here and there. And I don't know, but it's good being back in l A. I definitely missed the East Coast, but it's nice having like adulthood back,

being in our own place with our own car. Uh, feeling like adults once again, because you know, being at the in laws for so long, you just get used to being surrounded by parents and you know, I never felt like I was walking on eggshells. But you always want to be respectful and not kind of make my I didn't want. I never wanted to make my presence known. For example, I would never like go into the living room just put whatever the hell I wanted on TV. So it's nice being able to do that now. Um,

But but things are good. Ashley and I are doing well. I do think there is some fatigue with quarantine, if I'm being honest with within our relationship, not a bad thing, but I do think that, Um, we've spent so much time together that while there's no problems in our relationship, I do find ourselves slipping into friendship more and more and more. And I know I've talked about that on the podcast before, and that is an issue that does take effort because you know, when you spend so much

time I'm with someone. I don't know if your experiences with Kalen yet, but uh uh, it's you know, Ashley and I I can find myself we're hanging out more without like touching or cuddling in in kissing as much, you know, even though we still do that a lot. It's just kind of I don't know, I think spending so much time with someone now you're it's just we're

getting like back into friendship almost which sounds dramatic. And I don't mean I don't want people to be like, oh they're they're only friends, and it's like no, no, no, no no, no, no. We kiss each other, we cuddle all the time. Uh, we're very intimate with each other. But I mean, I see where you're saying. I see you're coming from. I'm sorry, I don't want my silence to be uh, misconstrued as a judgment. I glaise I didn't.

I see exactly where you're coming from. It makes a lot of sense where it's like you're spending more time together now than you probably ever have together. And you guys have already up to this point spending a crap load of time together, but now it's like day in,

day out, seven for the past three months. Uh. But I think it's good that you guys are still able to like, uh, you know, obviously you're in Ashley's relationship was kind of based around friendship from the start, and so it's obviously you guys are able to bring it

to more romantic level later on. But to know that you still have the friendship aspect, it's I think it's good for the longevity of the relationship and if you're in quarantine with a significant if you but if you're quarantine with a significant other right now and you're not doing that, that's kind of almost like a negative sign where it's like, oh, there's the only part of the relationship is like romantic and our friendship isn't really able

to blossom from here, Like that's kind of a red flag. But the fact that you guys aren't doing that and then it is staying friendly and like, you know, joke, I don't I don't know to what extent, but I think it's a good thing. I think, oh, I think it's a good thing too. But I think I'll also be a good thing once hopefully things start winding dine and we get back to normalcy a little bit where we do get a little distance within each other, just so you know, the heart you know, uh, you know,

distance makes the heart grow fond a little bit. So it would be nice to kind of like miss her, you know, we don't see each other anymore, just because we're worth that would be nice. And I'm in I'm in that same camp entirely with you too, Like I'm looking forward to my next vand adventure where uh, you know, being reunited after a month of separation would be like excited. Yeah, totally. Um, let's do one email and then I'm gonna read the last two uh commitment issue facts, uh to sum that

up and then uh we'll get going sweet. I'll read this email, uh real quick. Which when you getta choose, give me a minute, I'll just pull up the first one. All right, great, because that's from anonymous, and our favorites are always from anonymous because they're usually juice here. Yes, okay, so we have an email from anonymous and actually, well, since we have Mark in this zoom call, perhaps you would be willing to take the dive and read that email for us. Thank you so much, gentlemen, what a

what a nice treat. Well, the tree is really all ours. You have very wonderful words. Thank you. I'm closing the door so I can give this the attention to deserves. All right, you want the anonymous phone? Here we go. I reached out to my extra about a year ago on social media. We get it for six years and broke up in two thousand and six. Since then, we've both moved on, married with two kids. It's not that I wanted to get back with him, but I wanted closure.

After I graduated college and both moved back to the Bay Area, he suddenly distanced himself, continuously lied to me, and I'm pretty sure he cheated on me, but he's never admitted it. I continuously asked, what did I do wrong? I put the blame on myself and couldn't let it go all these years. I could go on and on about the conversation would After chatting and catching up, I pretty much got all the answers I needed. He was glad I reached out because he also wanted to apologize

for how things ended. If there was anyone in the world you could call for closure, who would it be? Has a lack of closure ever hindered your future relationships? I guess I don't understand that the whole timeline for her here. So she dated this guy for six I think that's the material. I think she's saying this closure really helped her move on, And she's saying, what about you, guys, have you ever been at a similar experienced damn im material.

That's a great word. Uh, that's she's not really looking for advice. She's just kind of more enquiring about whether we've experienced something similar. I mean, it's a great question. One I think that I think we've talked about it in the past. Is my only issue, not issue, but like, closure is a very real thing, and I think we even might have talked about it as recent as last week or the week before it where we both experienced not having full the full closure that we wanted. Right,

is it a real thing? Is closure or real thing? Or is it just time heals old wounds? No? I think it's closure. Well, okay, so have you experienced getting closure, because I forget if we've ever talked about that. Maybe we haven't. Maybe I've just thought about it or something

and I've misconstituted as an extual conversation. I mean I've experienced closure personally where uh and I'm not a name names here, but I dated someone for you know, a good amount of time whatever it might be, and that relationship came to a came to a head and ended. And I thought that by moving on to another relationship, I would get the closure that I needed and just close the door on that one, start the beginning of

this relationship, move on and be happy with it. But while I was in that new relationship, I was still sometimes thinking about the old relationship, and it wasn't until that I was able to kind of readdress things with that relationship that I realized that this was the closure that I needed. I realized that it's not something that I want, and I was able to move forward from there. So I think, in my experience at least, closure is a real thing where I had to go back and

confirm for myself that it wasn't what it was. Was it whether it was something for me something not for me. But I wouldn't be able to really be happy with a new relationship until I went back and decided and figured out what that was, you know what I mean. Uh No, that's a good point. Uh So, is there anybody now that you would want to talk to you for closure? Do you feel like you're good? I think, honestly that I think that. Thank you for asking that question.

I think one of the big reasons why I've been able to kind of come into my own as someone that's comfortable being in a relationship now is because I have the closure through and through and all my past relationships. And I think that maybe like part of the reason why it was never really that great at dating before was because I was always kind of holding onto something else in my past. But now I'm not that way, and so I'm able to fully dive into this relationship

that I'm in now. Uh, I think, and that's just that's maybe that's my armchair diagnosis of myself enclosure. You know what about you? Yeah, I know. I mean there's nobody that I'd reach out to. I would say that definitely lack of closure has hindered relationships for me in the past. There was one specific relationship where I never got like it never felt like it was over, and

that definitely hindered other relationships. I remember I started dating somebody else while I was still hung up on my AX, and I broke it up with her telling her that I just wasn't over my ex. And uh, and so I think I I was similar to you. I've gotten closure since hand. That has really helped, because we kind of revisited the relationship and then I think we both realized that we grew apart and became, you know, very

different people than we were when we dated. And so I think, uh, yeah, I do think closure is a real thing, But I also do believe in that time heals all wounds, you know, because sometimes you don't get the closure you want, but then you move on and you find somebody that you want to be with, and then as time progresses, you just start separating yourself, uh from that old relationship and the part of your heart that was attached to it, you know, kind of grow

smaller and smaller. Um. But no, I don't think there's anybody I would I would reach out to now, obviously, But you think closure is a real thing. I do think it is a real thing, but I don't think you get it in every relationship. And I also would say that just because you don't have it doesn't mean that you can't move on. I like tentatively disagree with you. I think that it's hard to move on without ever getting that closure fully. But I do agree that maybe

there's like varying degrees of closure. Maybe there's like different like different parts of a relationship that you need closure from that you don't necessarily need closure from to move on to the next one. I think there might be like different parts, different avenues of closure that you could be seeking that doesn't necessarily play into your next relationship.

And I guess it depends on the intensity of the relationship, because if it's like a fling, I guess maybe I'm thinking more of like relationships in the past that haven't lasted that long. So maybe I didn't need as much closure as I did need with the relationship that lasted four years. So I guess it really depends on the relationship. That would be my guess. Yeah, and I guess when I think about closure, I think about them being like, uh,

long term relationship. Yeah, that's a good point. All right, let me read these last two and then we'll get the hell out of here. Mark, thanks so much for the cameo. I really appreciate it. You wonder wonderful menu. Uh. Alright, So, as I was reading before in the intro of the podcast, eight facts about dating people with commitment issues, as written by a woman who has them, and then I wanted to get Dean's perspective because he's been very open about

his commitment commitment issues just like I have. But I do feel that Dean, um, you know, my uh was a little bit worse with commitment issues. My wife just walked in and says that I don't have any commitment issues. Well, I don't have any commitment issues. With you, but I've had commitment issues in the past. Yeah, well you know, I told you I'm like the Wizard of Oz. I put on this facade and then behind the curtain, I'm

just a complete hot mess. I never want to think of you as somebody who would be like, I'm too scared to make her my girl. I don't know. I don't know either, Okay, I guess somewhere in between. Well, we're recording I love you buy Okay, that's what happens when we have to record virtually at home during this time, your wife just walks in and starts talking to you. Okay. Number seven again, Dean, agree or disagree. If you want to keep someone with commitment issues, let them be free.

Someone once told me that some people are like jets and others are like airports. Jets have to have freedom in order to do what they do best, and airports need to be grounded and secure. And the only way the two can work together is if the airport doesn't try to keep the jet out of the skies, and the jet make sure the airport knows it's coming back. If you want your partner with commitment issues to find a home in you give them the space to fly. See that's a good advice. Uh, I don't really how

much to add that was. That was a very nice analogy that they use with the airports and the jets. I think one of the reasons that Calm and I are able to work so well together is because she knows that I'm an yet and I sometimes need to fly, and she gives me that ability to fly as often as I want to and need to. And she gives you that runway to land any time you need. Yeah,

she's a wonderful, wonderful human being. Whereas maybe in past relationships I felt a little bit more like I was trying to be grounded more than I had wanted to be, as she's just Jared's compeating everything right now. It's not coming here video, Okay, we're only working, We're only working. It's all like Jared's coming into you while you record one your podcast and menage things. I would be she would give me such an evil eye if I tried to walk in the room. What a double standard? How

how freaking believable? Not to mention I have to record in her glam room? Do you believe that I have a I have a painting of a pig with some sort of flowers on top of her on its head. Why don't you record from the man cave? It's not as good as WiFi, plus the lightings better in this room. Oh my gosh. Um. I do love that analogy though, between the jet and the airport. I think that's pretty cool.

But my only question for someone out there who's listening to this right now, who's trying to be with someone with commitment issues, should they not press should they just let them be free? Because it doesn't that that's scary, I think. Uh. I can only speak for my experience and with Kaylin and I I think it's been a very clear from the beginning that I'm someone that likes to kind of go out for a little bit and then and then fly back in, you know what I mean.

So it's like, as long as that precedent and expectation is set, I think that it can lead to two good things. It's it's different if it's like you promise and say you're going to be this person like an airport, and then after a year you want to be a jet for a little bit, you know what I mean. So as long as there's maybe consistency, and there's an understanding about what's going to happen. I think that's the

most important thing. I agree with you. I think it's a very healthy relationship if you're able to do this, uh you know, have one person be a jet and the other person to be an airpor Having said that, I feel like it's a lot easier said than done. Number eight last one. If someone with a fear of commitment asks you for a commitment, it means they're a gonner. We've fallen under your spell, we've found a reason to change,

and we're done for, possibly for the long haul. This is not a drill lock that thing down post haste. If someone with a fear of commitment asked you for a commitment, it means they're a goner. Like they're done for, they're done in. You did it too, You're the reason. That's That's how I'm interpreting it. I don't know that makes sense. Well, there we go, So like Calin, I feel like that's Kalin for you. Sure, that's so sweet? I guess yeah, I like it. Let you want to

know I think that I think that's really sweet. So we can end the podcast on on very sweet note that you know and now Dean, who you know, has admitted to having him issues in the past, just like we all have. Uh, he's a little bit more public now. Uh. He he wants to commit. He's the one asking Kitlin to commit to him, which means he's a goner, which means he's he's circumbed, he's landed for right now. I suppose.

I suppose. So it's a weird world we live in, and it only gets weirder every single day, and it's going to be a little bit weirder next week when you guys tune in to help I Suck at Dating, where maybe we'll suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast