Silver Fox or Gray Wolf

plause effective. Yeah. Okay, First of all, I thought this podcast was I thought we were recording this podcast two hours later than what it was supposed to be, so I woke up we late. So then brush my teeth. I'm still wearing my pajama top um and t M I but god, diarrhea. Okay, I'm sorry about that. Also, for context, this episode is being recorded live in Tahoe. This is the first time we've all been in studio together for a long time. Yeah. This is my favorite studio.

By the way, so great bug ever done an out of studio recording. Because the moose head above us, we're looking at a beautiful lake, We're looking at a beautiful human being that we still will not introduce. I don't know why. I don't know when but just now sitting at the table, Tories here as well, and the beautiful Tories amazing, But we're not talking about Tori. Can't we just give it up for Tory, Danielle and Amy and Hannah for helping us get here, well me get here.

So obviously I live in Montreal and we were flying from Montreal to Chicago, Chicago to Lake Tahoe, and I remember saying, everybody knows who follows my Instagram have the worst travel luck. Either they lose my luggage or my flee,

my flights cancel or delayed. Obviously, my flight was delayed from Montreal to Chicago, and then from Chicago because there were like over five hundred flights that were canceled or delayed because of storm and thundershowers and stuff like that, we got pushed back for another like four hours, and so we had to stay overnight in Chicago. And then there was a huge heatwave in Chicago's like a hundred it and for degrees or something crazy like that. And

now here we are, well here, I am. I keep how many flights did it take for you to get here? You went Montreal to Toronto, Montreal to Chicago, Chicago to flights, but we ended up saying with the delay and then we ended up staying in Chicago for overnight. You really do have the worst luck. Yeah, And I'm not even last time when we were a NAPA member canceled. So I'm like, I can't do these small trips anymore. I

love you guys, but I don't know. It's not a small trip, by the way, anything anything over like i'd say a two and a half three hours a major city. Well, it's a long way to come all the way from the East coast. Yeah, don't. I'm not really brushed up on my Canadian geography, but I know Montreal is pretty far like New York. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Pretty much. The point is you made it, I made it, and you have your very special cargo with you. I do.

I would assume that this person did not have to fly in the overhead bin or underneath because it's a human being. Human being. Do you just want to introduce him? Yeah, we're gonna is what we're gonna do. We're gonna introduce him real quick, and then we're going to jump into a quick break. I don't know why. I'm nervous, and I'm pretty nervous. I'm getting the sweats, I don't know. And then after we introduced jump into a break and then we're going to dive deep into the psychology of

this theogy of this human being. Okay, I'm a little bit nervous. So I actually tried prepping him um on our way over to Lake Tahoe, so I brought with me my boyfriend, Mr silver Box, Joshua boxed himself, the silver Wolf. The Silver Wolf. Well, josh first of all, thank you for coming and thank you for dating our beautiful, beautiful co host Vanessa. We don't really thank you. Should

you should? I don't know. There's someone that always gives like the best compliments, and Dean is the one that will try to extract the most juicy gossip out of you. So just think I can work with that. I'm happy to be here. I build you up, make you feel safe and beautiful, and then he knocked me down. It okay, I don't know how. I don't know how how much digging I'm gonna do today, but we do want to talk to you guys a little bit more about your relationship.

And because we we've heard the story from Vanessa's side, obviously, and you remember the story. Of course I remember the story, but I just want to I think it'd be cool to listen to you guys just talk about your relationship, how it all started. I like hearing the story from both parties, because most of the time the story is not the same. But before we do that, we're going to take one quick break and then dive right into it. We're back. We're back, Okay, welcome back to the help.

By second, okay, we're back with Vanessa and Josh, and it's me and Jared sitting on one side of the table, Vanessa and Josh sitting on the other side. It's almost like a panel I was looking for. It's exactly what it is. That's why I woke up with read this morning, a little stress. We just put out my nervous so I didn't mention how nervous I am. This is the first time I've done a podcast, so well, it's the first time you've ever been on a podcast. We're popping

your podcastely, we're doing that today. That's fantastic. Yeah, exactly, I feel I feel great. I feel very likely. Jered, what kind of questions you have for them to start off? With all right, just kind of want to hear the origin stories, right, Yeah, I kind of want to know exactly from the beginning, because we've heard a lot about you from Vanessa. Um, all good and all all. I try to get her to say mean things all the time, but she never does not a single thing. It's unbelievable.

It makes me throw up a little bit. But other than that, no, it's it's fantastic. Um. So, how did you guys meet? From your perspective, so we met um, To be quite honest, Vanessa had done a photo shoot with my sisters in Montreal. So I have three sisters who are I grew up in Montreal. Vanessa grew up in Montreal. But we never actually met each other. And

I needed to wrap every once in a while. Okay, well because because so his so, his sister's owned this restaurant in Montreal that I would go to, my my family would go to. And all of his best friends are Italian who are also really good friends with my sister. So my circle knew about his circle, but we just never knew of each other. Is this an Italian restaurant? No, No, it's a salad bar. That's the name of it Mandy Salad's Mandy Salad. Any any listeners in Montre very good,

gotta go there, I gotta try. Yeah. Um. So I remember um seeing the photos that came out from the photo shoot that she had done with my sisters, which was for International Women's Days. Was a really cool photo shoot. But then I was like, this is one beautiful woman, and um, I figured that I would try reaching out to her on on Instagram. So you slid into the d M. S I slid into the DN an expression I was not familiar with at the time, but now I know exactly what it means. We're one for one.

I'm gonna be um comparing your story to what I hear from Vanessa, and we're one for one. So okay, now, what was your opening line? My opening line may or may not have involved my four year old nephew you. Yeah. Yeah, my nephew, Sonny and I were having a conversation, a very limited one, but you know, he made it into the d M and I basically told her that he had given me some advice that I should reach out

to her. So I did that, I know, right, so cute and not thinking that she would answer, Um, I no, idea if she would answer. So I was actually on a date when I got his message. What do you mean, Well, that guy sounds like a douche bag. It was you were you were on a date, but you were going through the request full. Now I was going I was on a date and this person was away from me for a little bit. Obviously that date was not going.

Maybe it may not have been in the bathroom. And so I was going through my my Instagram because I was all alone, and then I checked my hidden d ms. I don't know about you guys, but there's certain collaborations that come in through hidden d M. So I checked all my messages and then I saw his and it was a lengthy one. So I was like, oh my god, what is this? There was a was a message. So were you nervous about sliding into d m s because you know, I think the way. Let's be honest, have

you've done it before? Like, have you ever just kind of like reached out to someone, was like, hey, what's up? I stowed on social media before, not always even for for dating purposes. Oh yeah, if there was there was a shoe line that I really liked to I remember I reached out to the designer and I told them how much I liked the shoes, and we actually wound up connecting and then became friends because of that. So did you have your friends help you? Uh, kind of

articulate the way. No. Actually, I remember I was on my way to go ski shooting that day, and uh, I pulled over on the side of the road. It was really random when it happened, and I was like, this is a shot in the dark and we'll see if it works out. So you were driving a car you pulled over to send the message That thought occurred to me. Yeah, I got off at the exit to get to this park where we were going to go shooting.

That's actually pretty romantic. Ballsy dude. I stress over every word I said, Like when I was in my single days, if I was trying to hit on someone or flirt with a girl, Like every time I'd write out something and then I would delete it, and then I'd write something else unto it, and I send it to my friends. But like just sounds stupid, like an idiot. He's really good with his words, though, he so I'm I find

that I'm better communicating through writing. So whenever I write something out like if whether it's with family members or friends, and if we're having a disagreement about something, I'll often sit down and write out what my thoughts are saying and send them to you. Only this really cute email when I left for uh North Florida, when I left for Europe for three weeks, and he sent it right when my flight was leaving, so I could only read it when I landed in Europe, and it was like

the sweetest message I ever got. So even when um like, if we ever would argue or whatever, he would send me this really nice message. And he's just really good with his words. So the message itself, I said, but I honestly thought that it was a shot in the dark. I've never you know, she has quite a few followers, so I see that's what Dean thought too, or I

don't remember who thought that when I was single. You guys are like, oh, I can't believe there's no one that slides into d M s or whatever I think people think because we have a large following, there must be so many people reaching out to us. What's the point of being, you know, falling in one of them million messages that we get. I wasn't getting a lot

of messages. And I think it's also different for a guy coming off the show than it is a girl coming off the show, just because five percent of our following was female. Right, So when you got it, you sent the message, yeah, and then I really wasn't expecting to hear back. And even if I didn't know what it would turn into something, it was not stressful because leaning forward, yeah, you're getting into it. You put your coffee down. Let me ask you this, why did you

decide to do the d M slide? If you already had third degree connections, right, you could you could have asked your sister or something for a phone number or like to introduce you. They didn't have. I didn't even talk to my sisters about it, to be honestly, because I really was taking it as a shot in the dark. I mean, if she were to answer, it would have been nice, but I also wasn't counting on it. Then, were your sisters like you d M the girl that

we were working on. My sisters thought it was a little bit funny, you know, And then I was a little reluctant to mention that I had used my four year old nephew is because I don't know, I could see the same thing and like my like my sister would probably be like, but what are you doing? Yeah exactly. But I always say how Instagram is like the number one way to date someone. It's a dating app. Now

it really is. I mean, just like you said, sliding into the d ms is now just a common phrase, and there is kind of like there was this stigmentation I feel like about sliding into d ms and meeting people on Instagram, but now it's just faded away, just like there was a stigma against dating apps. I feel like when the first came out online dating, people are like, well, I'm not signing up for online dating. That's ridiculous. And now it's just a common way of people meeting each other.

My sister met her husband online and it's the same thing on Instagram now, where people are just they're not afraid to reach out to people on Instagram anymore. And I think it's a really cool way to meet people as long as you're not creepy. Just don't you know, don't jump in with the old Well you guys kind of know where I'm going with this, but you didn't

because you're a smart man. I tried, but honestly, I think that the difference between like social media like Facebook or Instagram is that you actually can see a little bit more about the person than you would if it was on a dating app where you put up like

five pictures and you know, but not always sure. I remember I dated this one guy who put posted a bunch of pictures of his family and nieces and nephews, and I'm like, oh my god, a family man and they never actually saw their family and I'm like, what a he was like pretending yes, yeah, Jared just shot me a look. I don't know what that was about. It was that for me. You know. That's why I like with my Instagram, I try to be as authentic with like my pictures and whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, okay,

that makes sense. Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. And as long as it was your profile, set's a public or private. Mine was public. I think the important thing is if you're going to slide and you wish to be successful with it, you should have a public profile. I didn't think about that, so yours. Yours is public too. That's smart because when you DM someone, I feel like, let me ask you this, Vanessa says this past I know. So, say Josh sent you a message on Instagram. You open

it up, you saw his profile pick. You're like, oh, this guy's cute, says something very nice about his nephew. You look on is profile and it's private exactly. Yeah. Sometimes what I would do is, um, I would screenshot the message and then just zoom in on a little thumbnail pick. There you go. That's some detective work right there. But at the same time, it is only one pitch

exactly exactly. It doesn't give you much insight, but it gives you maybe enough to like, I don't know what Josh's thumbnail picture is, but it could have been something pretty nice. What is your thumbnaima, So I think it's me and my my chihuahua. Okay, yeah, well, and it was all this to say, if ever you're single and you want to slide into someone's dams, make sure that your your profile is out very good point also, including

nephew or niece or a dog or chihuahua. I'm sure the chuagua profile picture helps you out to what's the story with the dog that's here today? Yes, that's so friendly. She well, she's she's only do adults, but not kids. She hates. She hates a man is kids. Okay, when when I saw that dog, I rest you. During college and um, in the apartment plex we lived in, these kids would chase around his sticks all the time, and so whenever she sees like a little little human, she

gets freaked out. Um, so what was your I'm curious? So you responded, and then she responded, but like forty eight hours later, so I was on a date right now. Of course, she's not gonna just got to like you sweat it out. If I can respond, I'm not gonna respond. But as the receiver of a d M, Josh mentioned that it was like a lengthy message, right, do you find that refreshing or did you think that it could

have been a little bit more concise? No? I liked it because sometimes when I see a big block of text, I almost just like swipe away. I don't even really know. I find it intriguing. Instead of that means someone the person put thought into the message, instead of hey I find you cute, like or what are you doing this weekend? Like? Instead of a generic message, it was something that was thought out. And remember you saying you were you were driving your friends, Uh, you got you guys are waking

up north or something. Then you pulled over and he in the message, he said, you said that you We discussed this after. I'm like, how did you because I have the same question, how did you come up with the message? Why did you message me during that time? And I thought it was romantic? And ever since then he's always written me really nice emails and messages and texts, and we're actually really good at that. We both communicate

through writing a lot. Yeah, this is the first relationship I can say that we have the same form of communication um in terms of like, if we're arguing, we're like, I'm someone that likes to dissect things. So you guys, if you guys are arguing your email back and forth, email were sitting there, you know the phones. You know, once there wasn't once there was an email exchange, remember you had got back to your house and it was not When we're actually together, I'm teasing and then it'll

be like a text messaging, I sent you something. We want we want to talk more. We want to talk more about that because obviously it's nice to know the beginning of the relationship. But we want to know more about the relationship now. But before we do that, we should take a quick break and then we're gonna bright into it. Right, and we're back with Dean Vanessa Josh also known as the Silver Fox. Do you like the silver Is it the silver fox, Fox or the gray Wolf.

I'll go with the silver Fox. Yeah, I think the silver flow. Yeah. Yeah. We actually got a hat in our room. It's amazing. We didn't open it. But who's whose idea was that at? With the fox on it? And it says silver Fox. That's awesome, it's great, Thank you very much. That's like the first calf you're going to own. Yeah. I kind of like the gray wolf wolf, right, Yeah, I think he at the end. That's why I like the gray Wolf to I got it. It's just like

gray wolf is pretty cool. I've never heard that one bad. Their family they call each other the wolf pack. That's very awesome. They we're a really tight family and pretty jealous. Would you say you were one man wolf pack? It was a one So what was your So you guys communicated on d M? You responded and then who asked who out first? So you want to know you can take a se We actually the minute we rolle back to him. It was NonStop back and forth messaging for

the entire day. And then um, I think we switched over from d M s to text messages. The number he kept saying, do you know what were you saying? Graham Bell or something? Oh? Yeah, I asked her she

knew whoa Graham Bell was. And then the artist, right, the singer, you know, the the inventor of the telephone, because I asked her a really starch and I asked her a really sarcastic question, and then um, I didn't get what he was insinuating, so basically right, So we switched over to text message anyway, So then and yeah, if someone dropped that line of me, I'd be like, yeah,

a great singer, there you go, hell of an artist. Yeah, So then we we started to communicate over the phone, because it is I think it's more personal for some reason. It's it's it's sometimes gonna be a difficult transition to go from either Instagram or like let's say you're on bumble or something, to go from that to then texting. I always knew that somebody was interested if we were talking through d M and they're like, hey, it's easier if you just text me. And then I'm like okay,

she's interested. She's giving her phone number. How long How long did it take for it to go from Instagram to texting and then from texting to then organizing the first date? It was it was a while, but it was a while because she was out of town. Yeah. I was in Seattle visiting Taylor and one morning we get a knock on the door. Taylor and I love sleeping in, so I was like, who's knocking at nine o'clock in the morning. So someone knocks on the door. She's like me, I'm not feeling well. Can you go

open the door? And I was like, oh yeah, Like I think it's my Amazon package. I go to the door and there's this massive bouquet of kit Cats. Because I don't like flowers, so there was a massive bouquet of kit Cats and I'm like, oh my god, and I think I had I don't remember exactly when I had told you that I didn't like flowers and then I like kit cats or something. This was before your first day for our first date, and the message was I can't wait for our first date, I'm like to

get creative. How did you know where to send it? The bouquet of cats? So Taylor helped me out on that one. So I knew the chose with Taylor, and we've been talking a lot at that point. So we were messaging pretty much all day every day. And how long was this after when you first answered the d M? A couple of weeks? Okay, so you guys been talking for a couple of weeks, because just the way I think about it is that Taylor just gave her address to a complete strange a. Right, That's how it does

definitely sound. But we we started out like messaging, like we were saying on Instagram occasionally like a few times a day, and then when it went over to text message, it was way more often was it simply text or where their facetimes or phone calls or anything like that. At this point we had started face facetiming. I think that was the first time yours. Yeah, I didn't. I'd

never used FaceTime before, that's surprising. And she actually also introduced me to the audio message feature, which I had also because I don't know lazy people. It's not for lazy people, right, you just like press the button and then it records your whatever you want to say. Honestly though, because I don't know, Yeah, why do I find it annoying? I think the whole appeal of texting is I don't

have to talk or hear anything. I guess, right, because I remember there was a collaboration I was texting with and then I would send him attacks, and then he sent an audio message. Then I sent back attacks, and then he sent back another auto messages was like just

text me. Yeah, I guess what's annoying because it could disappear after like I have the feature where it disappears after thirty seconds or after like a minute, so then I'll forget what the person said because it was an audio or what if you need to keep that message in case you need to hold it over their head later on, you know what blackmail black or if you need information like an address or something like that and they send you an audio message with it, then you

gotta go back And is that what happened with this? No in this case, I know not at all all? Right, So who asked who out on the first date? Because you guys been texting, I'm very curious, Okay, I thought, we're still talking about the bouquet kick cats. Well that's a beautiful thing, the bouquet kick cats. Where'd you come up with that idea? How do you know? She like

kit cats? So she had mentioned to me. I don't know how you mentioned that you like kit cats, but I knew that she had in some you know, useful information. You got to take notes when you're when you're when you're first dating. Um, and she definitely mentioned that she didn't How did you know that Taylor was going to respond to you? That was another shot in the door. So okay, and I feel like we I met Taylor through FaceTime with her, so she is, you know, and

so probably talked about him a lot to Taylor. So she's Taylor's my unpaid therapist. Yeah, so she gives me all damn. I gotta talk to Taylor more often. Yeah, she's amazing. Um. All right, so you guys talking. You sent the bouquet of kit cat flaw hours. I was impressed with that. Where do you even find a It was really funny. I was you can find anything. But I was calling a bunch of florists in in Seattle from Montreal trying to figure out who could possibly do that?

And most of them are like, no, we're not we don't do that, And then an older woman actually picked up. I was like, yeah, of course I'll do it. It was so sweet because I was trying to find sunflowers in Seattle and have to call like ten different florists. This guy's find you can't find flowers, alright. So then I'm assuming, Josh, would you ask Vanessa out? Yes, I asked Vanessa out, Um, where did you guys go? Where

do we go? I'm expecting you don't remember your first day. No, it's because I got like three hours of sleep last night. Out of my god, this is a funny story. If she hasn't told you this, I'm expecting only big here. I feels so bad. I don't remember where I first. No, you didn't want to go on a date, all right. I didn't want to go on a date out in public, which took her a while to get to the bottom of it, which I think you've talked about before. Let

me ask this. At this point, you guys been talking face timing. You're about to probably ask her to go on a date meet her in person. Did you know that she was on The Bachelor, So I knew that she was on the Bachelor. But the Bachelor, I'm told no idea what's happening. So when did you know? Okay, so you knew that she was on the show, but

you had no idea what her story was. Orde from montre it's a small city, so I knew that she had gone on The Bachelor, and my mother watches the show, so I'd heard that there was a Montreal who had gone on the show. And actually I think I had seen with my mom the first episode which I told you about. I remember being like, wow, she's studying um,

and then that was into that. But then when uh, when we started exchanging um, when I realized how many followers she had, Yeah, it kind of recurred to me that, yeah, like, okay, she's pretty popular. She's in Montreal. I'm still trying to remember. So then when I asked her out, originally she was We were going back and forth about which restaurants were, you know, nice places to go on Montreal, and then she got to i'd like it to be a little bit more private it, which to me was a little

bit strange. I didn't understand the language. You're like, yes, let's explain why. So she explained to me, why do you want to explain? What do you want to explain why? So No, she explained that in Montreal to a small city, and people can gossip pretty quickly, so if she's seen out with anybody right away, it's interpreted as she's dating somebody. So right away I understood, Yeah, and I hadn't dated

anyone in Montreal in seven years, didn't you remember? There was some mutating now for exactly So that's exactly what happened. We went out for coffee and there was someone that came up to me and they're like, having us a huge fan, can have a picture. And then my friend was like, I'll take the picture of you. And then he noticed who the person was asking to take the picture, and they're like, oh my god, you guys are dating.

We didn't know this person worked for TSN for UM Sports Channel, and that's how that's that's how the article came out. And I'm like, yeah, going out for coffee that means they're dating someone. So I wanted I just wanted us to have some a little bit of privacy. Get that, because coming from a small town in Rhode Island, I remember it's all like, you know, local talk mostly but still that obviously it bothers you because that's where

you live. But I remember one time, Uh, there was a girl who worked at a restaurant that I went to any Scrantage Great Place, and she came up and she was like, Oh, yeah, you're Jared blah blah blah blah blah. This was a couple of years after I was on the show. She was like, yeah, I work at the restaurant that you bring all your dates to. And I was like, bring all my dates too. And I was trying to really wrap my head around because I go to that restaurant all the time, but honestly,

I've been on one date at that restaurant. I was like, bring all my girls too. She's like, yeah, like you like every time you come in here with like a different girl. I was like trying to wrap my head around, and then I realized because they only know me from the show I used Togo for I went when a producer came to film my prepackage. We went to dinner there, and she was up obviously no, but we did go to dinner there, so she thought that was a date.

I went in there with my sister, my cousin, my Frank Crystal, and then I did go on one date there, so it was like five different girls that have run to the restaurant, but there was only one date but this girl, and then the whole restaurant thought that I was some sort of big player who brought in a different girl, and I'm like, no, I swear to god, I'm like a loser. I don't even date. I promise you.

It was just a weird conversation. But anyway, I get where you're coming from, where people just assume because they know who you are, and they're like if you're out with somebody from the opposite sex exactly, and people know who he is too because of his sisters in the city. So I just wanted the photographers, he said, yeah, his sisters on the salad bar restaurant. So I just wanted to give us a chance to really get to know

each other. And that's why. And now I remember where our first date was, and I told you guys where it was, and you both were kind of like, that's weird. It was at my house. Yeah, I remember the idea. Yeah, we wanted to go lobby hopping and like find going to different hotels in Montreal and like go from like one lobby of a hotel to another and just like I don't know, like taking the scenery instead of like staying in one spot. Okay, that didn't end up happening.

So he ended up coming over to my house, which was nice, and I had a migraine, and I have this eyepatch that I wear over my head whenever I started getting a migraine, and I wear this peppermin halo over my forehead. So that's when I asked him if he could massage my back and I put my eyemask on and he's like, I'm friend zone. He thought he was friend zone, right, let me let me ask you something. I'm through with pimple cream all over her face, Like

I have no shame. You've been talking on Instagram now text match you for a few weeks. She invites you over then asked for a back massage. What is going through your head right now? So it was a shoulder massage. I think you don't give a ship. Was there any massage? There was food? No, no, no, the first night there was no food. It was the second date. So honestly, when we were sitting on the couch and that was

going on. When she put the face mask on, I was like friend zone, that was it because she was no, No, it was like a mask with like stars on it, Like, okay, he just invites guys to give a massage, you know, you know, help it gets to bed feel a little bit. So it was a shoulder rub, right, But did all the clothes stay on? Yeah? Okay, all right, So you go over? Were you nervous though? Because I think it's a female and fighting a guy over that you hadn't met yet is not a good idea. But we had.

We were talking for maybe three weeks before, which again still doesn't equate to being a safe environment. Um when he came over. So Taylor was on FaceTime. I don't know if I told you that she recorded our first meeting. Yeah, first like interaction because when I so, Taylor has been dating this guy from Toronto for about a year and by Fluke, I was starting my YouTube channel, so I was recording a bunch of stuff and I have the recording of when her and her now boyfriend first met.

So she's like, I want to give that as a gift to you. FaceTime me whenever he comes over. So we're on FaceTime and so she recorded our interaction, which I've never seen. So she met him and she spoke to him, and then she was like, Okay, girl, I think you're good. Like call me in a little bit, texted me if you're good. But I don't suggest that it's like a perfect first date to you know, be in an enclosed area without anyone around. Definitely a first for me. I think that we had a lot of

friends in common. So what was the like activity that you guys had set forth for it? Because normally you like, let's go to dinner, let's go see a movie. Did you were you like, let's go to my house? And at my house we cannot because you said there was no food involved, so you didn't cook, you didn't eat. What did you do? What was like? What was the plan?

The plan? I think there's a little more background here because you had just gotten back like the day before, and we've been talking a lot, so we were excited to meet and um, we had already talked about going to New York. Yes, yeah, so we'd already booked a trip to New York and we hadn't even met yet. There was a lot of first for me. Is new York a big check from Montreal? No, not at all, but still it's a trip with someone that you don't

really know it super well. New York City. Yeah, so you guys are flying right, so yeah, but that was second not our second day like towards like, I don't know how many dates we had before to New York. Booked the flight before you met? Yeah, first around. I know. But see, I'm someone who and I get so much for this from my friends. Everyone always tells me even has to take a slow, take a sell, take a sell.

I'm someone I like to get to really know someone at the beginning instead of putting this facade of like this is who I am, blah blah blah, and then like a year later, you're like the mask comes off and you don't even recognize a person you're dating, the star I mask. Finally a year later, he gets that mask off. So I guess my question is you decided to forego a public first date, but you had already

booked a flight to New York. It just seems a little strange, right, Yeah, But it wasn't are like the lobby hopping wasn't Uh, like, we weren't going to stay that long in a lobby, so you know, I felt like we were going to walk around the city check it out in public, but not necessarily on a date. And I like to do different things on dates instead of you're a very weird person, I am very weird, Like, oh, let's go for dinner. You can do that with a friend the best way. But I think we're just good.

I just I know. I take that as a confidence. So I like to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. And that's why I like, for me, Taylor and her boyfriend were going on vacation in New York to New York, and so she invited me, and I'm like, oh, i'd be fun if we can just like double date and whatever. Um, And so that's why we ended up booking a trip before me. Okay, so it was a Taylor and her boyfriend too. Okay, that

makes up. That makes sense. See, I like doing I'm with you or I like to do something different on dates. But I always like for a first date, something very low key, just because like what happened if you guys actually met in person and you had already booked these flights and you met and you're like, oh, ship, there's nothing here, and now I have to go to New York with this person. That was our worry thing when

we first met. We were talking about how I imagined there was like zero chemistry for me at least it was chemistry from the get go, and Espy just the way that he interacted with me, whether that was through FaceTime or text message, and he was so attentive. Um, I could be a little bit needy in a relationship, and I'm like a little bit not needy, but my love language is like I'm a very affectionate person and so is he, and so we feed each other's needs when it comes to that. So do you guys kiss

on the first date? Yes? And you know what he asked me if he could. He's like, there's something that I really want to do right now. I'm like what He's like, can I kiss you? Yes? Yeah, he's very well. I mean, I did think I was in the friend zone right, so I wanted to be sure before respectful. As I was having this conversation the other day with with one of my friends who I don't know how I'm gonna how I'm gonna position this it's going to be a bad story. I'm excited they started dating someone

right they started. They basically jumped into a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with this person after a short amount of time before they had really gone all the way. If you catch my drift, and I asked them, I go, how do you jump into a relationship that's serious with that much commitment without ever having seen the other person's genitals? Because if you think about it, that's a big part of the relationships. It just is a big, big step.

And so for this, for Josh and Vanessa, booking a trip to New York just made me think of you guys booked a trip to New York without ever really having seen each other's genitals, not even seeing each other genitals, seeing each other's face in person, well genitals one phase two, Like come on, you know that was That's just one of the things where it's like, it's something that we because typically when we when we start dating in two nineteen, you probably will hook up with someone and then decide

later on if you're gonna date them or not. Right, Like, it's kind of a bass Ackwards way. His wife feel like I was born in the wrong era. Well, yes, and no, I think I think you probably are dating someone and as it escalates and you start getting more intimate than you realize, Okay, is this a long term thing? You know? Is this not? Because let's be honest, sex is a big part of the relationship. There's nothing wrong

with saying that. And I think that's why. You know, fifty years ago it was a very taboo topic to talk about sex before marriage, and now it's becoming more regular because people are realizing that I don't want to be in a committed relationship without knowing every aspect of the relationship. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of different compatibilities, and there's also prioritizing, right, A lot of people put a lot of emphasis on the physical part of the

relationship and some others don't. And it's really kind of dependent on the couple on on how important they find that is. And I guess I was being presumptuous too, because at what point did you guys consider yourself's boyfriend girlfriend? Oh that's a good question. Um, there wasn't like a hey, you want to be my girlfriend? I don't. I'm trying to actually remember that if you want to, you can ask you, right, now. Yeah, I want to be my girlfriend.

That's what we do here. We make relationships happen. I think I don't remember when we have I don't think we had that conversation. I think it kind of just oh, I remember we were we were at your place, and I think I was still um, I hadn't dated. I hadn't dated anyone since my breakup, um, And so for me, I wanted to make sure that I was going to be in something like that was gonna be long lasting.

And we had that conversation where you're You're like, I don't want to date anyone else, and I'm like, well, I don't know if I'm there yet. Remember. But then like the day after, I was like, all right, I think I'm I'm ready to like and I and and the thing is like, yeah, I never date more than one person at the same time. But I think in my head, I'm like, hey, take it slow, because I know how I can go from like zero to a

hundred real quick. Yeah. I think that that was an idea that she really had at the beginning where we were first dating, was that she didn't want to take things too quickly. Um. But I'm also somebody who's very Um, I have a one track mind, so like, I'm not interested in dating more than one person at once. And once I, you know, decided that I want to go all in on something, I do my best and try

and give it my all. So I was pretty I knew right off as are very similar in that way, right, yeah, yeah, very similar. We So we were actually talking on the

flight about friendships and relationships and all that. And I want to throw this question out to you guys, because you're both males in relationships sometimes, so I want again, at what point do you reach out to your friends to talk about things that are happening in your relationship, personal things happening in a relationship or in your in your marriage, in your in your family life too. Like I call Taylor seven, she's on speed dial, and I

tell her everything. But I feel like that's very That's a lot of girls have that kind of friendship. That's a great question, Vanessa, and we're definitely gonna answer it. But before we answer it, we're gonna take a quick break and go from there. Okay, and we're back, Jared, do you want to answer the question first? Can you

say the question one more time? So do you reach out to your guy friends if ever you and Ashley argue over something or if there's something happening with your family, because I feel like a lot of guys don't have that outlet. My outlet is Taylor. She knows everything that's going on, and she will give me the most unbiased, best advice, so I know I can trust her judgment. Um, I think sometimes and remember last a couple episodes, we interviewed Tina who has who's the founder of Wingman, and

you can get to know the person's friends. I think that's for me that's so crucial because I want to know who are your friends and what kind of advice are they giving you to better our relationship. Yeah, I think, if I'm being honest, I go to Ashley a lot for any type of family issues or even issues that Ashley and I are encountering in our relationship. Her and

I have a really good communication skills. But in terms of maybe when Ashley and I were first kind of going through everything and and uh, um, you know you have to go through that like flirty like reading way into things stage. Uh Yeah, I have a buddy of mine, uh that we have a great relationship like that. He's like my friend that I always talked to about relationships and girls and what they're thinking and um and uh,

and so that's the friend that I go to. And yeah, I'd be on the I remember when everything was happening with Ashley, and I'd be on the phone with him

for like two hours and just talking about everything. And he was obviously very invested interested because he had known Ashley and he had known the whole story and and so he was a good friend to just turn to and just vent to and and he'd be like, all right, you should do this or And Tanner was u during that time a friend like that too, because Tanner, yet again was a friend that had just seen everything and knows Ashley so well and knew me so well that

anytime I'd be like, bro, this just happened. I don't know what to do, like, you know, and it was dumb stuff, right, a picture on Instagram and be like why the hell would that like be there? And uh, He's like, just calmed down, and you know, you gotta post about you thought that you know, you they rationalize everything for you. So definitely, oh yeah, I've I've guy friends like that. But You're right. A lot of a

lot of guys don't. They internalize their feelings, which is why you know they drop it, like fifty five from heart attacks. It's like, yeah, gotta you gotta let that stuff out. You know, you gotta talk about how you feel. If not, just gonna build up. My biggest frustration with with the friend thing as it pertains to relationships. I

experienced this with my last relationship. Um, I I have friends who we all love each other wholeheartedly, we all want the best for each other, but they kind of look at they almost kind of tell you the things that you want to hear. Sometimes, so say I choose my girlfriend to my friends. This happened a while ago, and they're all like, oh, she's great. I love you guys together. We're not gonna get in this. I love

you guys together. She's great, it's awesome relationship. Right. Six months later, we break up and then they're like, well, yeah, I never really liked it in the first place. I'm like, why don't you tell me or are they just telling you that because they want to help you mend your heart? No,

they tell me that because they mean it. I think what I think that they told they lied to me in the beginning because they wanted to me to be They want to be supportive and support the relationship, right their girlfriends or guy friends telling you this, both but mostly guy friends. I suppose, Um, it's hard, right because you want to support your friend because obviously to say

you were dating someone that nobody liked. And it's that balance, right, Because what happens if they went to you and said, Hey, I really don't like her, I don't think you should date her. You might get really defensive and say, who the hell are you to think? Tell me who I should date or not date? Love my friends. I love

taking my friends opinions on that kind of stuff. Like That's why I always one of the first things I do when I start dating someone new is I'll introduce him to all my friends and then I'll be like, well, what do you guys think? Like do you like her? What she fund to hang out with, like when I wasn't around, etcetera. And that's like a pretty telling sign I think onto whether it really are they honest with you?

Most of the time they are, and always they'll always compare it to like past relationships, right, like, oh, like I like her way more than I like her, or she did this better than the other one, And it's kind of like a weird comparison thing, I guess, but it's it's my friends are important to me, right, and I want my significant other to be able to coexist with my friends, and I think that it's like an

important test. I think there's also a fine line between Like I had a friend who was dating someone who wasn't really good to her. I expressed it, all of our friends expressed it to her until she was ready to finally say I'm done with this relationship. So she took all of our opinions and advice, but she wasn't ready.

I think at a certain point, you know when you're just done with something, And it's sometimes easy when you're outside of the relationship to tell someone like you deserve better, like go get you know, get yourself, and you know, find someone else. But when you're in that relationship, only you and the person that you're dating really knows what's

going on. And sometimes we have a tendency to call out or call our friends and complain about the person we're dating instead of calling them being like, oh my god, you know what he did for me today and and like hype them up exactly, and then they start putting all of these you know, bad stories in their heads. So obviously they're going to think, well, this person is

not good for you. Yeah. I mean a lot of people. No, I was just gonna say when I think of the typical situation that happens to a lot of guys, like you'll get lost in whether or not you're gonna ask for directions, and a lot of guys that I know don't like to appear helpless. They don't like to ask for help, right. I grew up with three sisters who I love very much, so I think I've had a

different upbringing than a lot of guys. And I know, um and I often turned to my sisters if and when I you know, I'm dealing with something in the right to reach and as as guys to it, my friends do this often. It's kind of frustrating. I'm like, well, what's your opinion of this person that I'm doing now? And they're like, oh, well she's really hot, and I'm like yeah, really all the time they just they talk about the parents, yes, and the like look look back

and be like, is that what you wanted. I would be like, oh, that girl made me really unhappy, and they'd be like, yeah, but she was really hot. Yeah, but who cares? But yeah, I don't know. That's kind of one of the frustrating things. Um. But you're right, I think guys kind of have like this pride factor. I'm definitely one of those people as well. To what Jared was saying earlier too, I internalized a lot of things. And it's nice to have those friends that you can

I guess confide in. We all need that. But totally, I mean, it's just tough because I think as a society, men are are brought up a certain way to really not show their emotion and you guys are the pack leaders and you're the protectors and you're the providers. Um. And I think as we get older, it's really difficult to articulate how we're feeling, especially if you're feeling vulnerable

or sad or emotional. And it's it's becoming better obviously, we're living into society where men are are more you know, prone to say, hey, actually, you know that that does make me sad or like that doesn't make me feel good, because I mean, how many times, especially as as guys. Do you hear your friends just say like, I don't care, it's fine, it doesn't bother me, you know. I think

we're also conditioned. When someone asks you how you're doing, you say I'm good or I'm fine, and that's like an automatic response, and it's okay to say I'm not really good today, or you know, like I'm sad or i'm mad. Instead of being truthful, we just mask it with a the generic i'm good. One of the things that I love the most about Vanessa is the fact that she's taught me, in many ways how to be more vulnerable. And I've never been in a relationship where

I've seen that is something that's incredibly important. But I see how attractive that is now. So like, for example, I remember at the beginning, when we were first dating, we would go out and she'd be shopping and she would ask me if I like something, um, and I was a little bit reluctant to tell her that I didn't like the way that something looked, because obviously she liked it if she was going to be buying it.

And I remember we got into a little bit of a tiff over that because I didn't necessarily like the the item in question and then now that's a very minor example, but it's it's something that I guess I hadn't really done before, but she's really been. So you're encouraging people to be honest, like, we don't like it, Okay. It's so tough though, because sometimes the truth does her, you know, because I feel like there's there's people out there who are like, UM, honest, like I'll always tell

how it is, And I'm like, should you do that? Though? Because I have friends who are like that, and sometimes they say exactly how they're feeling and it really doesn't change anything. It's just like them being like, yeah, I don't like that, and it's like, well, I think I don't know what to do for you. I think it's the way you deliver it, right, and especially if you set what kind of standards you want in your relationship and your romantic relationship. And we've had so many discussions

like this, Um, I always up for honesty. Really stupid example, my I gave my keys to my brother to he's going to kill me for the story, but I didn't want anyone else sleeping over my house, so he ended up sleeping over at my house with another friend of his, and I'm like, well, why didn't you just tell? Like I would not have been mad, But now that I found out after the fact, I find I was being disregarded and disrespected. So just be honest from the get go,

because the truth will always come out, So just be honest. Yeah. I think there's also, like you said, there's an approach that you have to take, and I think sometimes people just don't know how to approach the truth because for I don't know, for example, if like I walked like if it was if it was the first thing I said to you this morning, be like, oh it's up, Dean God, that is one ugly shirt, you'd be like, okay, I don't know. No, But if they're asking for your

opinion on something, yeah, but it's just the truth. That's how I feel. I'm not saying you're I actually like your shirt, but I'm just making a point. Rather than later on in the day, like after we've kind of talked and kind a nice morning break, yes, be like, oh, that's an interesting choice for your shirt. Interesting choice, you know,

so I love that line. Interesting choice? Yeah, because that that is truthful while also not being a jerk, like you said, Vanessa, I think a lot of people just don't have that balance because I'm always for the truth as well, but sometimes I certainly will tell white lies to make people feel better, UM, if I don't think it's really going to be a drastic outcome. So I think. I think the clothing element that I brought up was

a small example. But like how I'm feeling emotionally, I think that she's really taught me to open up about UM, and I wasn't somebody with that. I always wonder about this, and I have an internal debate because I have friends who are very very emotional people, right, Like some very close friends who are very very emotional. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. They're almost directed by their emotion

at times. I'm on the other side of the spectrum where I don't really take much emotion into anything or

carry much on a daily basis. And I see how affected they get by so many things that they're not in control of, and I look at that and I'm like, I'm so glad I'm not that emotional because I don't allow things that I can't control to affect my well being on a regular basis, But then I see other things where it's like you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open and how that allows you to feel things more deeply. And so I feel like there's like an

argument that can be on both sides. I think at the end of the day, your argument wins out because no one wants to go through life living a callous, desensitized way of living, which when I think of it, I'm like, well, that's probably what I'm gonna end up doing. But it's no But but I'm saying there's good in it, you know what I mean. But there's also a lot of good, as Josh are saying, in the openness and the vulnerability that you can get. But I'm just saying

that the point is you can arguable sides. And also on an unrelated but similar notes, So I have this friend who's a Somalia and she and and this is like a while ago, but I bought us a six dollar bottle of wine and it had sat out and open for a long time, and it tastes it tasted really bad, but to me, it tasted really good because I don't know the difference between So it's a really

interesting example. So I love it though, so because she went out of her way to understand the nuances and the differences between bad wine and good wine, she can no longer really enjoy bad wine, but I can enjoy all of the wine because I don't understand it. You know what it means, I'm like desensitized to all wine. So that's kind of what I relate it back to as like a metaphor, is which one of those would

you really live? Would you rather really really appreciate the really good wine or would you rather just like generally appreciate all of the wine. I guess that's the point that I'm trying. Well. On the flip side, I was imagining like going on a date and then so many it comes over the table and wants you to like spin the wine around, like I don't know much about wine at all, Like do you pretend that you know what you're talking about? Or do you just be honest?

Whenever they do that, I just say, pour the glass. I'm gonna drink it either wine. Okay. Yeah, I think it's an interesting metaphor. I think it's also the metaphor that people use or you have to take your shot, so to speak, because if you don't take a shot, then you can't fail, right, that's the whole point. If you ever, if you never actually go for the things you want, then you can't fail at achieving those things.

But at the same time, if you never go for it, then you'll never truly experience the full capability of life. I guess so I think it's it's it's a hard thing to know because if you stay within your little bubble, you can really enjoy life. But will you ever enjoy it as much if you don't ever get outside? That's that's the conversation you have. One of the things that my older sister is always sort of emphasized is communicating.

This is gonna sound super cheesy, but it's really true, and I feel it is to communicate with your heart. And Vanessa is very much the same way. But whenever you speak through your heart, you wind up being able to relate to people a lot better than when you're using your head, because when you're using your head, you wind up tripping up and your actual thoughts don't make it out as clearly as they would if you're speaking from your heart. Yep, I do the head thing over

the heart. I'll work for work on it. We're definitely hard. Um. I want to ask you guys about the future and what the future holds for both of you. But before we do that, we're going to take another quick break and then we'll dive into it. Okay, So what's the future hold for you guys? Um? How long have you guys been officially dating? Now? So this is the first relationship I don't count. I used I used to be someone that's like, oh, we made it two month, Oh

we made it two months, we made three months. And I'm like, I don't even know how long we've been dating. But it's since the winter, so almost eight months at A just asked you to be your girlfriend, like twenty minutes. So basically it's a very serious twenty minute relationship. So we'll say what December, So I would say December, we'll say seven or eight months? Okay. So, and you guys both live in Montreal. I guess you guys must talk

about the future. Obviously you're open about everything, right, so like, what how does how do those conversations look? People were actually encouraging us to not take things slow and just like go full force. Um, but I think for me this is and I spoke about this with Ashley last time we were in NAPA. Like he seems so like

cool about it. I'm like, yeah, because I want to be able to take things slow and and feel everything out, you know, like obviously, like I feel extremely strongly about our relationship and I love him so much, um, But I think part of me is also scared of things not working out. I'm someone who hopes for the best but expects the worst. That's what ended up happening all my relationship obviously, because none of them ended up working out.

So it is scary for me. Um. But when I think of a lifelong partner, he's sitting right next to me. You know. He has all the qualities that I need um in a husband, all the qualities that I need in UM a father. And I spoke about this before. Sometimes you can find someone who makes a perfect fit as a husband, but wouldn't be the greatest dad, or be the greatest dad, but then would neglect you as a wife. And he fits both qualities. And I see

it with his family. I see how he is with his mom, And people say, how your partners treating their mother is such an indicator of how he's going to treat you, and it's he'll randomly by his mom flowers and he's so thoughtful, um, and so attentive to everyone's needs. Um. And I think that has a because you grew up with a family of five well with your mom three four four females. I'm terrible at Matt obviously. Yeah, that helped him be able to be the person that he has.

Said it. When you're talking about a guy can either make a good husband, but he might not make a good father. He can make a good father, not good husband. I can relate because you know, whenever they cast Batman, sometimes you can get someone who can be a good Batman, but he's not a good Bruce Wayne. Or you can get someone who's a good Bruce Wayne but not a good Batman. World to check off all the boxes. I get it, Vanessa, I get where you told me that

you like to draw analogies to films. Yeah the point, oh yeah, all the time that I'm just a walking movie quote guy. It's quite pathetic, and I really feel bad for Ashley that she has to deal with it for the rest of her life. But oh, actually, because I want to bring this up because you're like O can we talk about how terrible Once Upon a Time is the TV show. I'm like, for sure Jared and Ashley would appreciate it. I've never seen it. I'm not

a big TV show guy. Actually just recently got into Riverdale, which I'm like four years late. But I just watched season one and really enjoyed it. It was good. It's really good. But Once upon a Time I don't get into TV shows. Did you not like it? No? I I do like TV shows, Like I don't watch TV, but I'll binge watch at night if I have time to put something on. But she started watching this show,

and yeah, it's not I love it. It's all about like Disney princess characters and how like their world is intertwined with our world now and how they're stuck here. It's so cool. It's I don't I like actually watched it? She definitely did. I remember she was talking about it. Yeah, you guys, we love TV. That's great. But we're still talking about the future here. Isn't this help? I binge watched TV too much. That's great. We love television. It's great.

A little what else is? So? What can we expect coming from the Vanessa and Josh relationship because you're four months away from your one year mark. Again, we're using that term loosely. We don't need the exact day. But I mean, like you said, you're both full all in, which is fantastic. So it's like, what's the next necessary step for you guys have what have you talked about? It sounds like you both want children at some point.

I remember Vanessa has told us she's been very voke about in the in the past that she was dating a guy who said that he didn't want kids, and she knew from that point that she no longer wanted to be interested. So I would assume that you guys have talked about that. Yeah, she's been very upfront about wanting kids, to think, within the first five minutes of talking, so you know, I knew that. Um. But one of the things that I love about us is that we're

both really close to our families. Yeah. I think that our families get along also. Um. But it's an interesting question. I mean, I see us uh going to full nine yards. Yeah. Yeah, it's a challenging question to answer too, because it's like, obviously have the private conversations and then like some random person that you just met is asking you the same question.

It's like, well, what's what's on a podcast? No? But I mean from the moment that I met her, I swear, from the first time that we were communicating, I really felt like this was the one. Yeah, and that's something that you're very Tori. You think as well, obviously, which is very important. Where did the whole nine yards phrase come from? What did you stop getting us off topic one second? I know it is a movie. What is

the whole nine yards? What does that mean? Question is does it take nine yards to make a No, it's ten yards for our first down. I have no idea we asked him a question about the relationship at all. I know, I just wanted to ask. I always yards is a colloquial American English phrase meaning everything the whole lot, or when used as no, we're looking for like the origin like why is it yeah? Why is it nine? Why do you have to go nine yards to go

the full distance? Anyway? Well? Well up, Tori's got it. Well Tori is looking that up, and Dean will give us an explanation. Um, so I'm sorry, can tinue so you guys see kids in the future. Josh if you don't mind me asking how old are you? I guess I'm thirty four. Thirty four, Okay, the gray hair in the world. Well, that's the thing. I was going to either say, you could easily be in your mid thirties, you're late twenties. Um, you have in my mid forties.

You're honestly, yeah, but you don't look old. It's just the gray hair. Because I was like, either he has gray hair because he's in his late thirties or the forties and he just looks great for his age, or he just got gray hair early in his life, but thirty four got So it works so well for you to thank you, dude, gray hair is in. It conveniently happened that I'm gonna dye my hair gray. I actually wanted to dye my hair gray, my hair white when

I was younger. I just really started going white. So so you just manifested that, uh, he had little hairy. In other words, he was bald. Okay, maybe just like little hair. Maybe he kept the chort you know, Oh yeah, he's shaved. Okay, So Vanessa, you nevers bought him balding. Then no, I feel like he has a really good he's got great something to consider. You guys might have kids at some point, you know, I don't care. That's that's this. Can we expect an engagement anytime soon before

the end of twenty nineteen? Go Bra, what are we in July? I have so many mosquito bites onwhow have you guys talked about in an engagement? Yes? Yes, okay, all right, that's all we need to know. So there's there's a dialogue of Vanessa potentially having her a ring on her finger. There's lots of dialogue, some emails being sent about that. You know before that though, you guys, would you live to get? You live together? First week? So we He has his own place, um, and I

have mine. I live in the Old Part. He lives in Griffin Town whatever. No one knows where any of this is. But we're five minutes away from each other. But we're always at each other's house. Like he's either packing up a bag so he can seep up my place or I'm packing up a bag so I can see bad place. Um. But we still have our two apartments. But don't you think, practically speaking, you want to just get rid of two rent payments and just make one

rent payment or mortgage payment whichever. Yeah. Um, I think we haven't found the perfect spot yet because my place is a little bit small, and I love the area that I'm living in. Mine apparently doesn't have enough to like, Yeah, there's a lot of the plan is to stay in Montreal though, Yeah, yeah, are you pretty? You're pretty heavily rooted within Montreal work and stuff like that. Family grew up there, in lots of family there. He's such a

proud Canadian. It's so cute, it really is, because like when someone well, I guess, like in the States, if you ask where you're from, you say, yeah, no, no, you say in the States. Well, like if I say, if I'm gonna ask you what you are, what do you answer, well, my heritage? No, Like if I feel like, if you're traveling in Europe, people going, oh, yeah, then of course I'm from America totally. But like if I met someone from Minnesota, I wouldn't be like, yeah, I'm

from America. But when you say your state and with you you'd say Rhode Island. I was the same thing. Yeah, whenever I'm traveling and someone asked, when I prob just say Usa, yeah, And then like if they speak English, they say where in the USA or like California and California. So in Canada it's really different. People specifically will often go into their like origins. So some people go what are you and then they'll say, well, I'm Greek or I'm Italian, that's what I do. I say I'm Italian,

but I'm not. I was born in Canada, but my my back, my dad was heritage. And it never stops there. Like if you answer your Canadian, they'll be like, yeah, but what are you really? You know, and then they're like trying to dig I was fun to put a stop to it, and I just that that's my answer. I'm Canadian. Yeah. I find Montreal it's like a little its own thing in Canada feels separated. They've been trying to be back has been trying to separate. Yeah, because

it's very European there. It's pretty awesome. I loved it, but when we were have you been to Chicago just the airport? Loved it. Not when it's super hot or super no, I know, but I felt like it was a cleaner New York. Yeah, they're so much to do um. Anyways, we were just there for like a couple hours. It was a little bit too much. But all this to say, yes,

we do envision a life together. I don't. I So I've always, uh, if anyone that's been listening to our podcast for a really long time knows that I've been talking about freezing, wanting to freeze my eggs, wanting to become a foster mom, um, wanting to adopt. I still want to do all those things. I well, maybe not free freezing. I don't know about freezing my eggs now, but um, I still want to adopt. I still want to become a foster mom in in you know, one

form of or another. Like I don't know how I would do that right now, but because my place is so small, but I would love to do it. But definitely would like to have my own kids too. And well, Josh comes from a big family, since he has three sisters, no brothers, it's just you for yeah, we're the inverse of each other. I have in my family. It's three boys, one girl. You're three, where do you that's probably I'm

the order. I'm the youngest. Okay, so the youngest. That's probably why I'm much more emotionally closed off than you. Are because my brothers. I believe it's not my faults at all. It's funny. A lot of my guy friends who grew up with brothers, same thing. That's interesting, very different. Um, Jared, I do want to we figured out the whole nine yards? Oh perfect? What is it still? The whole nine yards?

It's from World War Two. Apparently the gatling guns that they used to take down the fighter pilots, they used twenty seven ft ropes of bullets, and so they would say, I'm going to give them the whole nine yards. You know. It's really interesting. Yeah, a little bit smart to see the more you know. Um, well, we're super happy for both you guys, Vanessa and Josh. The Silver Fox, the Gray Wolf. Josh. We're very glad that you're here. The

Silver Fox. Yeah, it's been too really nice, meaning you guys. I know it's a travel day from hell. Yes it was. And I was so nervous him. I mean, with Jared, I knew it was going to be great, But with Dean, I'm like, I don't know what Jared is like, Yeah exactly. Jared is like calm and always nice, normal Dean Dean will like try to dig for information and I'm like, what's he gonna do it early in the morning. That's why you're probably still happy to even when it's you guys,

I like to ask difficult questions. But I I mean, Josh and I just met, so I don't want you too much with a dick, you know. I appreciate that. But because Jared said something, I can I might have knew that said something early on that you wanted to know what she said to him about us before? Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's basically what I said. I said, Jared is the one that's going to calm He's like, he's complimenting.

He likes to compliment, and Dean, you never know what kind of what kind of questions are you gonna get from? I never know what you never know. I'm going to wait up. You're very complimentary as well. Though. The nice thing about living in a van is there's only one side of the bed, and it's at the foot where you have to crawl out of so it's like I'm always jumping out of the same side of the bed. Was that a metaphor that I just didn't get? It

was a literal thing that I experienced every day. Never mind, well, we do have an email before we get going that I would love to not read. But before we do the email, let's talk about Beach Body on Demand. So, Dean, did you get prepared at all before you went to Paradise? I did, and I used Beach Body on Demand because it's an easy way to use their streaming service that gives you ins and access to a wide variety of super effective workouts you can do from the comfort of

your living room. The company behind P nine, t X, Insanity, twenty one Day Fix t Brazil Butt Lift, Pie Yo, and three Week Yoga Retreat, and new programs continue to be added regularly to the platform for no additional fee. My favorite class is Transformed twenty, which is a high intensity six week workout and nutrition program that will help transform your body in mind in just twenty minutes a day.

The trainer Shanti my absolute favorite. He pushes you while motivating you and encouraging you at the entire way through youone I want to jump in here. They offer hundreds of effective workouts for all fitness levels, ranging from bodybuilding to weight training, to cardio hit to yoga and even dance workouts. Workouts as short as ten minutes that don't require extra equipment. You know what else, Dean tell me they have the best deal in fitness, and they had

the best deal for our listeners. Are help by Sucit Dating listeners. You guys can try it absolutely free, did you hear me? Not just free? Absolutely free, which is way better than just free. I even use this to prepare for my beach body in Paradise and I have never felt more confident the mustache. It really all came together and right now our listeners can get a special free, absolutely free trial. Now, just free, absolutely free. All you have to do is text Dean to thirty thirty thirty.

You'll get full access to the entire platform for absolutely free, all the workouts, the nutrition information and support totally free. Again. Just text d e a N to three zero three zero three zero and what is d e A N spell Dean? Dean? That's our favorite? Allright? We do have an email, one email. We have one email from Jackie head line Dean's mustache. It's my favorite headline of all time. Dean has said he changed his looks so women will like him more for who he is on the inside,

not just for his looks. But if a woman didn't look conventionally attractive, would he ever go for her? The girls he's gotten with the pasts have been absolutely gorgeous. Lindsay, Danielle, and Christina are all bombshells. I doubt he'd go for anything less, especially since his options on Paradise are quote limited to only beautiful women, and yet he expects to weed out women with his ugly stash. Sounds like a bit of sexist double standard. I appreciate it for multiple reasons.

One because I never dated a girl named Lindsay, and two Rachel Lindsay. I think that's that's what I think. Oh. I love it when people give me crap on the like on Twitter or something and they're like, I can't believe you did this to this person and they spell that person's name wrong. Just something about it just makes me chuckles so much, because it's like, at least, if you're gonna, if you're gonna ask that question, at least spell the name right. Yeah, get get your info right.

At least just google it, spell check it. You can't care that much about that situation, and then misspell the name exactly. You have it back to your mustache. The mustache question. I don't think it's a sexist double standard. I think that's kind of a silly thing to say. I just I thought it was just a funny you Have you ever dated someone, If you would line up all of them that you've dated, are they all equally

physically attractive? Well, beauties in the eye of the beholder. Yes, I'm not going to date someone I'm not physically attracted to. That is that one of the things that you look for in a relationship. I think it's an important part of the relationship to be physically attracted to the person you're absolutely But also I hate when people say that that's a bad thing, that oh, you're only you know you're dating someone because you were attracted to them first.

What is all the dating apps? It's not like you don't swipe through dating apps the first thing you see is their resume or like things that they lift off that they like are just like the first thing you see is just a picture of them with their name and age, and it's like, as human beings, of course, the first thing that we're initially attracted to is their looks. But um so I get kind of mad when when people use that against you, because everybody does that, you know,

and with with you or like anybody. People are attracted to different type of people. So like something that I find beautiful, you might not find people, you know. I wish, I wish that I had like some deep philosophical answer to this question. The point is, Jackie, the mustache was a joke. It was a joke. I wanted to do something silly, to go down to Paradise and look ridiculous. And it seems to have worked, because you're emailing us

about it right now. And yes, it's nice to like, I don't know, I really think that you didn't grow the mustache just for people to like you more on the inside than the I think you did it sarcastically, and so I think people are taking the mustache a little too literally exactly, And I I like, I really don't know, Like I don't really have much to add other than that, because it was just basically a big ironic joke. Anyways, that'll do it for this week's episode

of Help I Suck at Dating. Big thank you to Vanessa, but a bigger thank you to Josh for making a Fox the Gray Wolf the man number before you take off. I feel like I've got a lot to learn from this man right here. You numbers, we should just add Josh to the group. Text that so you can just be informed about all the help I suck a dating nonsense that we talked about on a weekly basis. That sounds great, but I still require someone on one time

with this man, um shellfish. Thank you to Jared, big thank you to everyone up here in Tahoe as well, and big thank you to our sponsors, Thank you to our listeners. What else? Who else do you want to thank you? Big thank you to Beachbody on Demand. You guys again can get a special free trial membership when you text Dean tot and that. That'll do it. We'll see you next week. I guess we'll talk to you next week. Uh be sure to tune in then because

maybe we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast