Showered with Love

In course, Dean Unglit is here. Dean, you're once again, and I don't know why I say your name oddly, just trying to add a little flare, you know, changing out of it. You took the R completely out of my last name. No, I said un glirt, No you said unlit. But whatever, it's I'm just happy you got six out of seven letters. Right, it's not so bad, quick math, nice job. So you're where are you right now? You're in a car. But this audio quality is pretty good. Yeah,

I'm glad. I'm glad I could be here with you guys today. I'm in northeastern Wyoming, and uh, I didn't expect to have any service, but it's been it's been, it's been crazy. We got here. What do We get here on Wednesday, Wednesday afternoon, and I wasn't sure if I was gonna have service, and I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to record a podcast this

week with you guys. But then I we got here and uh, it's technically the off season for climbing and northeast Wyoma because it's so pretty cold out most days. But we got a good warm window. But anyways, we pull up to this like lodge and it's completely abandoned. Uh, And so we set up intense We set up our tents next to it, just like to sleep near it. And I go on my phone and there's a WiFi that says like a Devil's Tower lodge WiFi, and I was like, there's no way this is gonna work. And

I log on and it works perfectly fine. Like I'm there's a perfect latincy between all of us right now. So uh, I knew. I knew it was destined to be. It was meant to be the best episode of Help by second Dating. Ever, once I realized that this place isn't abandoned, then right, there's just nobody there. It's your Maybe a banded wasn't the right word, it's just the off season here, like climbing season doesn't climbing season doesn't start until May one, and so were like a week early.

So is there gonna make it dangerous? Um, No, it's not dangerous. It's just like I said, the weather so like today was yesterday was like seventy five degrees, which is perfect. The day before that it was like thirty five, and then tomorrow it's supposed to get back down to thirty five. So like the weather isn't super good where there there's climbers every single day, but we got a

good little window of good weather. And uh, that's why it's the off season because it's like, you know, it's it's far enough north where they have like full on winters, but climbers still as long as you can get enough warm days in a row, I guess they want to come out still. But it's funny actually, So we uh we got here to this abandoned lodge, my brother and I, and we set up our tents and we were like, wow,

this is amazing. We have a perfect direct view of Devil's Tower, which is the rock that we were going to climb this trip, and it was like we were blown away. We opened the door, the door was unlocked, the sink had running water, the toilet worked, and we set up our tents and we're like this is unbelievably perfect, like kiss met. And we walk around the other side and there's this hot tub sitting there, like a covered hot tub, and we're like, no way, like everything's gone

so good so far. Uh, if we're gonna take the hot tub cover off and if the water is hot, we're getting in it, no questions asked. And we took the cover off, and of course the water was hot, so we got in the hot tub for like thirty minutes. Uh, and it was just like it literally like was the most mind blowing experience where um, we we like called a head like a month ago and we're like, hey, we want to stay at the lodge just like camp outside on the front lawn for a couple of nights.

And the guy was like, yeah, come on, no reservation needed to show up and set up. And then we got here and we were like, oh, I don't know, like it feels uncomfortable because no one's here, and so I called the number again. No one answered, so I left a voicemail. So we were like trying to cover all our bases and make sure everyone knew that we were at least like going to be here. But then we got here and like the hot tub was on, the plumbing was working, the water was working, and the

WiFi was working. It was just unbelievable to pull back the curtain a bit. Dean, we're running a little behind schedule. So you know, I follow his look ation on on Find my Friends, So I'm like, let's make sure Dean's not on the highway somewhere. And I look and I see him inside of a structure, and and Mark so eloquently put he trying Dean has drywall around him. That's a good sign. And now we find out that you're squatting, like basically broke into a lodge. Yeah, you could call

it squatting. I personally wouldn't call it squatting, but you definitely could call it that, and you probably wouldn't be entirely wrong. Uh. We so last night, no, I'm sorry, our first night here, it was like eleven PM and we were like getting ready to go to sleep. I was like sitting up my camera because I wanted to

do like a time lapse of the night sky. And as we're doing that, there's like this one long solo road that you can see for maybe like a half a mile as it approaches the lodge, like a dirt road, and this truck was pulling up on it and I was like started freaking out, and I was like, brat, brat, someone's here. I don't know what to do. Someone's here. What should we do? And I like I was out of my tent and I remained perfectly still, uh so that they wouldn't see me in the dark light. And

then they didn't say anything that night. But it was a it was a t REX apparently, because if you stand still, they couldn't see you. Got it. Yeah, they're right there right exactly. So they didn't think to us that night. And uh, I woke up the next morning and I had to go to the bathroom really bad,

number two. So it was very very important. And I bust into the house and these two people that pulled up last night, we're sitting right there on the couch and they like get up from the couch and shake my hand and I'm like, Hi, I'm d nice to meet you. I just pulled it yesterday. Do you guys work here like praying that they say no, because if they work there, I probably don't be able to use the bathroom. And they're like, yeah, we managed the property.

It's just off seasons, so we only come like once or twice a week to come and manage it. I was like, crap, so that means I can't poop, But it was. It was a whole ordeal. And then after that we were basically shunned to the outside uh entirely for the rest of the time. But if you if anyone from Devil's Tower Lodge is listening to this, I appreciate the hospitality. We're gonna leave a nice donation for

you guys as we depart today. Um, and thanks for the WiFi because without the WiFi, I wouldn't be able to do this. So where did you go poop? You don't leave us hanging here? All right? Well? Actually I held the poop yesterday until we got to the visitors center at Devil's Tower. But I did just poop in the forest twenty minutes ago, which is like, it sounds bad, but it's actually not as bad as um as it seems, because you're like in a nice you're a nice squat

and it comes out pretty easily. The wiping is maybe the worst part, and you got to make sure it's quick because your knees will get sore really fast. But as long as you're okay with all those things, it happens pretty easily. So yeah, that's oh, of course, yep. You so you dig a hole, you dig a hole like six inches deep, You do your business in the hole, You fill the hole, and then you put your t P in a separate plastic plastic plastic ziplock and pack it out and then you just carry it out of

the woods with you and throw it out. Yes, I mean you can't. You can't bury t P and poop underground because it's kind of like not good for berry poop, isn't it fertilizer? Kind of yeah, But human poop, like animal poop totally is fertilizer. Human poop poop probably could

be fertilizer. But if you think about our diets, like there's so much um like chemicals and stuff in our diets that's unnatural to the environment that you can't really you can't really poop in the wilderness like a bear could poop in the woods, you know, because it's just a different composition, drop full of hot cheetahs and stuff you know, not good for them, soil. No hot cheetos on this trip, believe it or not. My brother went to the store before I got it, and he didn't

buy any any hot cheetahs. But but it's been good. I feel like I'm monopolizing the conversation here. We had a you know, we had a great day yesterday climbing. It's been a dream of mine to climb to the top of Devil's Tower, which actually is now I'm referring only and exclusively as bare Lodge because that is what the indigenous people of America called it before the white man came in and rebranded it Devil's lodge, which is

so ridiculous. So bear lode or Devil's Tower, so bear lodges. Uh. This like et igneous rock tower in the middle of Wyoming. And I wanted a climate for like eight years, and today or yesterday, we finally were able to do it. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Would you ever want Kalin to go climbing with you or do you think it's too dangerous climb? She climbs with me sometimes she's got her own gear. Um, she is still learning, and so we can only do like

pretty easy roots and stuff. But she enjoys it to a degree. She's like she she hates it when she does it, Like in the moment, she's not complaining, but she's like, you know, strenuous, strenuous and like trying really hard and like kind of upset. And then she gets down to the bottom and she was like, that was so much fun. Let's do it another one. I'm like, okay, but the next time we do it, you can't talk about how much she hate me the entire way up.

So she she even made a note to me, like a week ago, she was like, let's try and rock climb a bunch this summer. And I was like shocked because she uh, normally it's me that has to like hold her hand and get her excited about mission or something like that, because I get it, Like I was kind of the same way when I first started about climbing.

You're kind of like, oh crap, this sucks. I'm scared and it's really hard, and then you start doing it and then you like it, and then I don't know, that's just you guys should come rock climbing with us, So you turned her onto rock climbing. Is there anything that she turned you onto that you actually quite enjoy now that you might like the equivalent of you like her complaining all the way up the mountain? What would

you complain about? But at the end of the day, you're like, you know what, let's do it this summer. That's pretty fun. Maybe like, uh, washing our bed sheets once a week, that's pretty nice. I used to be like a once a month kind of guy. But once a week, like jumping in a new, fresh set of sheets is pretty nice. What's the longest you've gone without changing your sheets? Be honest, come on, oh eight months? Maybe I was say I've definitely I've definitely gone months.

I'll take over on that. I honestly, I'm you're right. I'm probably undermining myself a little bit of selling it short. I could be longer. Like in college, I probably never washed my sheets. Um and uh, the I shower more frequently with Kaylin. Actually, no, you know what at first I did when I was trying to, like, you know, when you first started dating someone and you try to like make sure that they know that you're not a maniac.

And you like do good things more often, and then you get more comfortable with them and you start to like revert back to your normal ways a little bit. When Cay. When I first started dating, I probably showered like a good four times a week, which is pretty good for me. Uh. And now I'm back down to I probably shower like once a week now, which is uh. That's like my that's basically my baseline. But I don't

stink that bad. I don't think at least, and once I start smelling the stink come up, that's when I start to shower more often. But it hasn't really been a too stinky lately, so that's good. I mean, the worst I can only imagine is all right, you know college days. I'm sure you know, Dean, you were a

very sought after man. I just hope that if you ever, you know, had the privilege of having a woman over that at your words before, you would have another woman over, if you were ever so lucky, you would wash the sheets in between those two times. Yeah, that's the only time I already get h Yeah, no, that makes sense. I hope I showered between those things as well. Jesus, No, I was pretty good about that in college and as

a young adult. I um, I wasn't as promiscuous though as as it maybe you would think that I was, so it didn't have to happen often. I guess it's the point I'm trying to make. But yeah, no, it's she She's got me to come around those types of things like just general hygiene and um, being a nicer person. So I appreciate her for that, and you know, it's take a trade off. I make her more of a dirt bag and she makes me more of a beauty queen.

So it kind of works out. Yeah, you need a little dirt bag in you, you know, yeah, as Kaylin definitely needs a little dirt bag in her. Yeah, everybody does. Yeah, I'm trying to think of something that Ashley has me do that. At first, I was like, Oh, this sucks. I guess living in Los Angeles for a while, but I don't really miss it all that much, unfortunately, cause we're not even in studio anymore, which I gotta be honest, if if if I lived in l A, do you

think we'd be back in studio. Nobody's in studio anymore, right, Well, that's kind of like an Eastern and Eastern Mark or not at studio or in studio right now, So I would say absolutely not, probably not. None of the podcasts have returned to the studio. Is that just over? Are those days behind us? That's just no one's ever going to be in the studio again. The Seacraft Show is back in studio, so the morning shows are back. The podcasts haven't, And I think it's just a matter of convenience.

People have really gotten used to doing it wherever they are, casing point Mr. Northeastern Wyoming. So I don't I don't see us going back in for really any of them unless it happens to be convenient for the people doing it. But I see you guys in studio sometimes, like I guess editing and stuff. I mean they're most most days. Once every four months, yeah, for an afternoon Eastern modern day Dean Sheets. That's right, one over four months. Like,

what's your purpose for that? I mean the only time I go in is if we have like a guest for Seacrest that I have to be there for. I think that's coming in. But other than nothing for podcasting, I'm staying right here, baby, unwashed. Who's Seacrest again, it doesn't matter. I'm talking about Rodney Seacrest. He's a hot young jock out of the Dallas that I'm working with. Nice. Well, let's be honest real quick. The real cash cowt I

Heart radio is help I suck at dating. So if you guys are going into the studio for some come on, come on, um, Jared, what are we talking about today besides my hygiene? How poetic is it that Dean just said that the real cash cow of our heart radio is help I suck at dating? As his WiFi was going in and out, and he was like, yep, that's a nice microcosm. Right there after, can we take a second. It's pretty good minus maybe that one little hiccup. Oh it says it's unstable at the time, is it? Can

you guys still hear me? That was? That was that was really bad timing. As I was saying the WiFi connection is really good, Zooms told me my WiFi connection is geting unstable. But generally I would say, I'm pretty proud of how it's doing right now. And abandoned lodge, so no, I would agree, I'm very proud of you. Uh well, you know, I was thinking about some So we have some hot topics obviously, say we can go over today, obviously some relationship things. Lizzo confirmed that she's

in a relationship. We have an article, Jennifer. Instead of doing hot topics, can we just milk having Eastern and Mark on the podcast. Well, that was my point is that, like, I almost don't want to do hot topics. I think I think it would be I think we would be so disappointed in ourselves if we walked away from this podcast without getting all we could out of Mark and

Easton every last drop. And Dawson, Dawson, Dawson is starting to wake up, so he might join us on this podcast here and even second guys time baby guys time baby, Yeah, Dawson, a little bro time. Yeah. Uh well, I was looking up some morning and night routines because I was thinking about how so I don't know about you, guys, but like, all right, old, let me get the baby, yeah, I want to Uh well, let's take a quick break and then maybe we'll jump back into it once Jared gets

back from nursing his baby. All right, we're back, so before Jared gets back, because he's still taking a sweet time. Mark you're the only other father in the in the group here, And how how much does Jared ever reach out to you for advice? Because if he's not asking for advice, he is really dropping the ball on that one. We we had some conversations before Dawson was born, but no, we haven't spoken since Dawson was born. I'm sure he has an excellent support group around him and plenty of

people offering him advice off and unsolicited. But I think Jared knows I'm here for if he ever needs anything. My kids are sixteen and thirteen, well almost thirteen, and so it's hard. It's uh, it's it's it's almost hard to remember the days that Jared is enduring. Do you miss the baby face? Yeah, I mean especially now. So my oldest turn sixteen on Wednesday, so yeah, you know, we put up a Facebook post with pictures of her as a baby and now, and yeah, of course we

missed those days. But to look at that guy, Yeah, hi, buddy, he's a good baby. He's so I don't want him to grow up like I'm I'm can't wait for the days of sleep in some sort of structure. But he's so freaking cute. Man. Like I don't want him to grow up. He's gonna be like he's going to be one of us. That's the dis morning part, Like he's gonna be us. Bro, You're so much better now. Hopefully

he showers more often than us. Doubtful. Um, So, my brother just had a baby two and a half months ago, and this trip that we're on right now, actually it is his first first night. It's away from the newborn baby. And so like the first night we slept in the tent, he like slept in until ten thirty in the morning and he goes that's the first full night of sleep I've gotten in seventy five days, and so I can only imagine I can only imagine how Jared's has to

be the exact same way. Right. Yeah, it's just like I usually probably I get at least six hours a night, but it's just interrupted. You know, it's always like go to bed at like if I'm lucky, I'll go to bed at like midnight, and then you know, he'll kind of like be up around two or three, but then he'll go back to sleep, and then he'll be up at like six or seven, and then he'll go back to slave. So it's just like it's not terrible, it's just like you're constantly waking up, so it's you never

have like a well rested night. That's the only thing mark to the best of your memory. When does that stop? Like when do you kind of get a little bit more autonomous with it? Yeah, I remember finding something called the dream feed that was incredibly valuable to us. We would put our daughter down around eight and then around eleven you'd wake them just to feed them. You'd barely wake them, so they would kind of half sleeping, half awake, and then you put them back down again and then

they'd go till morning. So that was really a great time. And I don't remember exactly when that was, but you know, within the first six months. But he doesn't he doesn't finish the Wow, he just had a big fart. That's the other thing. It's crazy, guys, like how as as Mark knows, it's just like you're just my hand is on his ass and he just lets it out, you know what I mean. He's parting on my hands a

lot of the past few years. Hasn't it unbelievable, dude, I've never felt older, and I feel like such a just old piece of crap dad because now we're working with Audrey's. You know, there's so many college kids that come in and I work with so many college kids, and there is I am just I am the old guy now, like and I can feel it like there is a there's a disconnect, you know. It's just like they see me as the old guy. I have no

more I'm I have no more seduction to me. It's it's just it's I It's true, like you just lose a part of yourself because it's like I'm the dad now, I'm the dad with the dad bod who just works and is always tired and making dad jokes. And it's just like I have zero sex appeal. It's all over, it's all done. I don't know, there's a whole world of like deil f lovers out there. I feel like, you know, it's not that you have less sex appeal. It says you have different sex appeal. Yeah, that's one

way of looking at it. I appreciate it. Dean but doesn't yet. Oh yeah, he's been in there many times. He comes. He sometimes comes to trivia night. He's really good. He loves being out and about. He's very awake, very aware. He doesn't cry, he enjoys it. Uh, he's uh. Is it weird? If like a good fan word to approach you guys and ask for a picture, would you have Dawson in the picture? Is that weird or no? Um? Yeah, I mean I was obviously like Ashley's holding him and

they're like, hey, let's take a pick. It's like, yeah, of course he could be in a picture. We're not weird about that. He's smiling right now. But see part what if someone want a picture with just Dawson would just be like, oh, why don't we take a picture together? You know, there's no that's never happening. We're not going to hand off our kids treasure. It's weird because Mark can attest to this how like protective you get how

protective I am of this kid? You know, I remember when he was first born I talked about on the podcast before I wasn't suddenly overwhelmed with this unconditional love and felt like I was his father and I needed to protect him. It was like I felt like a horrible human being because I was like, holy am I gonna love this kid? Like I I think he's cool. And then now I mean, I love him so much. I would It's just yeah, I would. I would die

for him. You know. I wonder if it's like, uh, it's like having a dog on steroids in the sense where what makes us love our dogs is that they really rely on us. And maybe once you first said Dawson, you didn't feel as needed, and now you know that without you he would be eaten by a pack of wolves or something like that, you know what I mean. So maybe that's what the slow burn comes from. Yeah, and he smiles now, it's the it's the it's the best when he smiles. It's just it's, uh, yeah, it's

just awesome. It's it's indescribable. How come how come you guys haven't made an Instagram account for him yet? No, I don't want him to have an Instagram account. I want him to be away from social media as much as possible, especially at a young age, because he's gonna grow up. Instagram is still hopefully going to be a

huge part of everyone's life. And you know, I don't want him, you know, like being in second grade and being like I have a hundred and seventy thousand followers, It's like, no, no no, no, I don't want that, But think about all the potential revenue streams you could get from you know, like you could basically haven't you can haven't pay for college before he even enters kindergarten. Listen, if there was like a monetary reason to do it, we probably would just for the fact that, like we

would control it. And of course, you know, if it pays for his college fund, hell yeah, But how much would you pay for at Dawson Haven on Instagram because someone may have registered? What an asshole? Get off this podcast. Remember remember Chad on Um whose season was a Joe Joe's season, who bought everybody's uh like domain like Jordan's. He bought Jordan Rogers dot com and he bought like Robbie Hayes dot com. That's what Easton is doing now,

he's buying Dawson Haven dot com. I mean your speculator. Yeah, hey, very smart, very smart. There could be there's money to be made in the U r L game. You can buy some nice r L s, and especially now with all the new suffixes out there, you could buy like Pizza dot co. I mean obviously maybe not so much anymore, but like with all that stuff coming on. You could really make a little bit of a quick coin. I

will tell you really quick. I I tried this once before. Legitimately, on square cash you can change your like user name, and so I changed it to DJ Khaled, thinking that at some point DJ Khaled's gonna come to me and want to buy it back, because square cash does like partnerships and celebrities all the time, and that backfired on me big time because I get requests all day every day from people who think I'm DJ Kaled asking for money,

and now I can't use square cash anymore. That's what are some What are some like big crazy requests you've gotten, like for a lot of money or just for like ten dollars at a time. I'll put up right now. I just I just got asked from Ray Fors for blessings. Uh. Someone named Little Rom asked me for ten thousand dollars. Uh. Someone named Daniel wants five. I feel bad. Some of these people like just need money and they think that I'm you know, a rich celebrity is gonna give money.

But I'm just the regular dude who's trying to scam into their celebrity. That's who I am. Yea, who's trying to scam Dawson weeks old? So I looked up some like because obviously we're a dating podcast, but in order to date successfully, I feel like you have to kind of be happy with your self. It's a lot of

things we talked about. I find one thing that I really struggle with is uh nights and mornings because before I go to bed, I am just it's it's it's I just like become so overwhelmed with every thing that I stress about in life, Like it takes me three hours to go to bed because I'm just constantly thinking that I'm going to bankrupt my family, Audrey's is gonna fail, something terrible is going to happen, and uh you know,

like I'm gonna die one day. Uh So, like I've been trying to nobody else goes like you guys, just put your head on your pillow and rest easy at night. No, No, it's to be like all right. Well also in the morning as well, Like when I wake up, I find because the first thing I do is check social media. It's terrible, Like it's the first thing I do is to go on my phone, and I'm like trying to change my habit. It's obviously nearly impossible right now with this little guy. But so I was looking up ways

to relieve stress before bedtime. Does anybody meditate here? Is that? Dean? I feel like you'd be a meditator. I've tried. It's it's never stuck for me. I've tried on multiple occasions. What is there, Like, have you practiced? What is it about it that you like or don't like? Well, yeah, I mean you can. I used to use this epic called headspace, and I probably would do it every day. I did it maybe for like a couple of weeks, and then I would coming back to it every once

in a while. But it's just like, I don't know, I get bored, which I guess is kind of the point of doing it, because it's you're supposed to be able to like get sending you knock that exactly. Uh. And I never really found like I was gaining, like growing from it too much, so I just kind of was like, well, I would rather just not do this, so I stopped doing it. But I mean, yeah, it's a good way to really stress. I think you should. Are you trying it or are you just thinking about

trying it. I'm literally spit bawling off the top of my head. I'd like to try it. I've tried some deep breathing exercises, but I agree with you, it's very difficult to do it for more than like ninety seconds because I'm like, alright, I'm gonna twitter, which is not good,

but like this, I see. I'm also trying to practice, uh for myself so I can instill it onto Dawson, because I don't want him to go through this what like what we go through, which is like this instant gratification society, and it's like I want him to have him. I mean, I've heard studies about like how you know boredom, boredom really helps stimulate imagination, and uh, like I want Dawson to have to create his own fun at times.

I don't want him to just constantly be watching TV or constantly be on the phone, Like I want him to be outside. And like, I know it's gonna sound ridiculous, but like my buddy and I as a kid dude, we used to like of course pretend that we are on tattooing and Star Wars, and like we would choreograph a full on lightsaber fight, and this would take us like four hours every single day. And he was usually

anakin and I was usually obi one. And it's just like like that though, like I want but I feel like that helps imagination and that helps creativity, and so like I'm trying to figure out ways to get myself away from my phone even though it's part of our job. So I can kind of, you know, practice what I preach when I start telling him that he can't be on his phone or he can't be on TV, like I want him to be able to you know, he use his imagination. I feel like, uh, and Mark probably

can speak a lot more to this. Uh. Kids definitely tend to replicate what they see their parents doing, right, So, like if they see you guys on your phone all the time, they'll be on your phone all the time. If you guys read, they'll read whatever it is. But Mark, I mean, I don't know, what do you think? Yeah, that's a big one. We've had to set limits over the years. But there's also an element of their social life that you hamper if you get too strict about

the social media. And that's a difficult balance because you don't want your kid to be the only one who's not in the group chat or the only one who's not you know, when we we we give into Instagram fairly recently, but but it's it's the peer pressure more than anything else. And of course you want to stand up the peer pressure and blah blah blah, but you also don't want them to be an outcast because of it. So there's a balance there that you have to figure out.

Then you kind of pushed it off as long as you can. I made a big mistake in two six I went to Brazil for the Olympics with Seacrest and so we I set up a Snapchat for all of us so we could snap each other back and forth, and that was it. We just had each other's things.

But then years later, you know, I didn't discontinue Snapchat as soon as um the Olympics were when they were both young, but as they got older, their friends got on Snapchat, they got new friends on Snapchat, and then pretty soon they were inappropriate things being found on Snapchat on their accounts. So we're like, okay, well we got to get rid of Snapchat, so that was my bad. So we kind of traded Snapchat for Instagram, which is not. I mean, you know, I'm not sure one is any

better than the other, but it just may be more comfortable. Anyway. That was a mistake we made, and so they've been on it probably younger than they should have because of that good hearted idea that I had that turned out more when horribly wrong. So there's gonna have to be

a balance at some point. Jared's idea is great and you want them doing that, and they will be out doing that, especially you know, the first ten years of their life, but at some point you're gonna have to give into it, and probably even more so ten years from now. Yeah, Snapchat is maybe the worst app to have you agree with that. I really believe that's Uh, that's funny. I wonder what like when Dawson is, uh Marks kids age thirteen is your youngest, right, Mark? I

wonder what there's got to be. I mean, obviously between now and thirteen years from now, there's going to be some crazy new app that probably we're not even gonna be privy to. It's just gonna be so interesting to uh see you navigate that. And obviously you're gonna be talking about it every week on help by Second Dating because we have at least thirteen more years of life

left in us obviously. Yeah. Man, it's it's scary because it's just like the world that we were introduced to, you know, it's it's it's just like anything, right, Like you don't care about yourself as much as you care

about the people you love. So when like this world that we live in now, it's like I was sure social media whatever, whatever, whatever, But now that I'm raising a son in it and thinking about the things that are soon to come for him, it's like, damn, yeah, dude, social media, we gotta we gottaw, Like, we gotta stop this. We have to figure out a way to make it

healthier and make him healthier. Ashley was looking at me, but it's just it's like a weird conversation that I don't know what the right answer is, but it makes me a little nervous about, Like, I don't know, but every every generation has this. You know, when I was a kid, my parents were upset that I was watching MTV all day instead of being out playing, and then their parents were pissed that they were in watching that idiot box all day instead of out playing. You know,

every generation goes through this. Yeah, I feel like it's worse now though have you seen there used to be like this propaganda posters back and like I don't know, like the early where it was like stop reading. Reading is bad. Reading distracts you, and it's like the people like reading newspapers. It's like stop reading newspapers, you know, Like that's like that it was the modern day cell phone.

So it's like, to Mark's point, every generation deals with some new, like the thing that everyone thinks is vile and bad, and in a lot of ways it is, but in a lot of ways it's actually really good and and turns out to be not so bad. I feel like it just escalates because I remember as for us as kids, it was television, like don't watch television for too long, don't sit too close to the TV. Now that's like you want your kids to watch TV because you don't watch them on you don't want them

on the phone. So that's my concern, just can't get them when they're watching TV and their friends aren't going to bully them when they're watching TV exactly. So my point being is that, yes, I agree, there's a new Like with every generation there's something new that's going to come out. But my fear is that with every generation it's just slowly getting worse. It's not so much that there's something new, there's something new that's worse, you know,

so like it's almost um amplifying. I guess you could say, I don't know. These are just thoughts I've had, obviously from having an when again this show is writing high and thriving in their it's going to be something like, can you just go on Instagram for a couple of hours because it's way better than that weird virtual reality the thing you're doing right now, you're in the metaverse for too long, Dal, you gotta take a break. Oh, speaking of taking breaks, let's take a cup, break ourselves

and jump into emails. Be right back, guys, All right, we're back. Uh. And of course we got him. We're going to use him at Mark. If you don't mind reading a couple of emails for us, that would well, it's my pleasure, Dean, Thank you very much. This is from Emmelina. It's a lovely name. I'm Elina. I broke up with my boyfriend for four years. I'm sorry, I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. Because I felt we were falling out of love and my sex drive was gone with him. He took it pretty hard.

But it's now been a year since we've broken up. He's living his best life after the breakup. I'm still struggling. I was the one who broke up with him and had those feelings, so I don't know why I still think about him and feel this way. Is it normal to have days where I want him back and miss him? Do I reach out to him and tell him how I feel, even though he seems content with his life. M that's a pretty bad a pretty bad email, Emilina. I'm sorry, I love you. Thank you so much for

emailing us. I really appreciate it. But let's say this guy wasn't living his best life. Would you still feel this way? Like? Are you just jealous and envious that he maybe is handling the break up a little bit better than you? By the sound of it, that seems to be the case, and you're like resenting breaking up with him because he moved on easier than you. That's just, uh my my perspective. Thirty ft overview. I don't know

what do you guys think? Yeah, I completely agree. I mean Listen, you've mentioned she mentioned a couple of times in this email. But he's living his best life. He seems to be doing well even though I'm the one that broke up with him. And listen, I actually I have a buddy who's kind of going through a similar situation. He's dating a girl and he wants to end it. He wants to date other people, and what's holding him back is the fact that he can't imagine her being

with someone else. It like enrages and it's like, you gotta check your ego. Then you can't have your cake and eat it too. You either want to see other people and move on, or you want to be with this person. That's that's a guy think. Guys want all women to want to be with them exclusively. Oh and that's what I was telling them. It's just like, listen, I understand it's human nature, you're gonna feel that way.

But the fact is, if you truly love that, if you truly care about this person, then you want them to be happy. And if they're happy, it's probably gonna piss you off because they're not happy with you even

if you broke them up. Broke up with them, so like I agree with Dean who for the longest time has said maybe it's best once you break up that you just kind of block each other for a while and don't see each other or pictures of each other, because it's you know, it's I think we all go through anytime we see an X, right, it's just like it's that awkwardness, those feelings, and you're like, I don't want to be with this person, but of course, like

you have so many intimate moments with them, and like as soon as you see them at like stirs up emotions and you're like, oh my god, does that mean I'm not over them? And it's like, no, of course you're over them. But it's just natural feeling weird around someone that you've had so much intimacy with. This So with this a meal Lena, Amelina, Melina, Emelina terrible with names, obviously sorry about that. I butch your names all the time. My point being is that I think this was might

be your ego talking a little bit. So instead of reaching back out to your boyfriend or four years who you broke up with and felt like you're you know, there's a reason you broke up with him, I would actually go the opposite direction and block everything and try

to move on with your life. Yeah. Start, I think that you need to really be clear on why you would reach out to him, Because if you want to reach out to him because you've decided he's the one you're in love and you never should have let him go. It was a horrible mistake, but you are a hundred percent sure that he is the one for you, then maybe otherwise it's just gonna end poorly. You're gonna get this guy all excited again. It's gonna be great for

a few weeks. Then you're gonna realize why you broke up with him in the first place, and you're gonna devastate him all over again, which would be to throw him off his wonderful life he's having right now, which maybe is part of the reason that you want to reach out to him. Maybe he's the kind of knock him off his game a little bit. I said, let him go, block him, move on. Yeah, I think we're in agreement on this. Eastern What do you what's your take?

You've been uh even silent over there. I mean, I agree, I think that, and I pose this. I wonder if this man is exactly the same. But now that he's not like doting part of her life and focused on her, he just looks that much like, oh my god, he's so great. He's doing all this great stuff. His life is so awesome, And in reality, it's like it's probably the same as it was before. He's just not eying out with her because you know, the absence makes the

heart grow fonder or whatever that is. Uh So I agree with Mark, don't don't talk to this man, move on. Nothing's The hard thing when it comes to excess, too, is like we always romanticize the past and like every form of memory, and so it's like you're gonna do the same thing about your ex is you're gonna remember the good times you had with them, and you're gonna basically forget all the bad things that ever happened or why you broke up with them in the first place.

So like, like like everyone's basically been saying, it's like thinking about your exes is the worst thing, not the worst thing. Like it's good to look back fondly on it, but like it's never good to yearn for it because it's never going to be exactly how you remember it. Because your misr like your brain is protecting your memory basically, you know, by like remembering all the good things you guys had and never the bad things, which is like obviously the reason guys broke up in the first place.

And I also don't forget when you when someone gets broken up with, they're usually pretty angry and mad, which makes them pretty vengeful, which means that they're going to show the best parts of their life on whatever social media platform. You're seeing these pictures or telling their friends that they're doing great, which their friends will tell you.

So my point being is I agree with East, and he's probably just doing very similar things that he was doing prior, but like maybe going out of his way to make sure that you know that he's doing pretty well. Um, So I just you know, listen to Mark, uh, you know, really think about the reasons why you'd want to reach out to him, because again, if you reach out to him, then you are like, this is a commitment. You want to be back together, and you are committing for your

signing a lease. You know, this is a this is at least a year lease. You've got to give it another year if you if you reach back out or at least have that in your mind. I agree. It sounds like Emilina knows what to do now for anyone else that wants to email us. I suck a dating, I hurt media dot Com. We got one more from anonymous, which means you know it's going to be juicy because

Nick Faile always brings the heat. Here. It comes. My long term boyfriend and I finally moved in together two months ago, but now I regret it when other we have a future together, but he now feels like my roommate and my boyfriend. He spends all day at the office while I'm home working remote. Then it comes home and stays to himself. We don't even spend quality time to get the right at home, like watch a movie

or make dinner. Any advice on how to spark the romance living together, well, two months is not a very long time. I'm just gonna leave with that one. But Jared, I feel like you talk about this semi frequently, where you're at Audrey's all day long and then you come home and like Ashley has been, you know, fulfilling the motherly duties and then she wants to break from the kids, so she gives you the kid, but she's like, well, I was just working all day, so I don't really

want to do that. Um, I don't know, how does that? How does that affect to you? Guys? I feel like, um, yeah, it's difficult. Uh. You know, having a kid and actually being pregnant like changed a lot of things. And so I relate to what Anonymous is saying. I would say that you need to vocalize these issues you have with your boyfriend and let him know that you know, you know he works hard and you know you support that obviously,

but you also want to spend quality time together. So again we've talked about a million times on this podcast, when you're in a relationshipship with someone, you have to put effort into that relationship, which includes making sure that you set time aside to spend quality time together, to go on a date, because it's only gonna get worse. You know, if you guys live together longer, you're gonna get into the minutia of things even further and get

into this routine. And then if you know, who knows, if you get married and have kids, like then just like responsibilities and everything starts piling up and it only gets worse and worse where you feel more like the old married couple. So you just gotta really make sure they put effort into the relationship and talk about these things.

I would say my biggest advice to spark the romance is to have conversations, conversation with him, let him know where you're at, and then you can put a little effort into sparking the relationship up again and then hopefully he follows suit, which he will if he truly loves you. Let me ask you this, at what point do you give up? Because two months is obviously way too early.

It's like they probably signed a year long lease. It's they have ten months more on it probably, and it's like obviously way too soon to even make any type of decision. So at what point are you like, Okay, maybe we tried and it's just not gonna work. I mean, I think this is really an odd situation. So he comes home from the office and just closes himself in a room for the rest of them. That's strange to me, Like,

you're not even roommates. Roommates watch a movie together, roommates watched it, might make dinner together, Like it seems like you're even less than roommates. So I think you just gotta make some proposals, like, Hey, Friday night, I got his reservations here. Hey Saturday night, Um, sons coming over. We're having a board game night. Hey, hey, he's working. You walk in the room. We're in something sexy. I don't know, but I think you're gonna have to force

the issue a little bit. At the dean's point. If we get to the end of this year, lease or whatever it is and you're still like this, this relationship is not good. He does not want to spend time with you. That's what I'm seeing. I've been with my wife almost twenty five years. I'm I'm so excited when we get to spend some time together because there's so many distractions in life. You guys seem to have minimal distractions in life. You don't have any kids or anything,

and you're still not spending time together. I think there's major ride flags here. Yeah, Eastern your your train. Uh, you know what I'm I'm going to be the contrarian. I think I think everything is fine. I think continue the course, do not talk to this. No, I'm just kidding. Uh, I know I have to agree Uh that you know this, Um, this is bad and it's happening this soon. I also think it's too early to like pull the plug on it.

But but yeah, I don't know that. Like I work a lot, but I cannot wait to spend time with my wife when I'm done with that, Like that's why I'm trying to get his work done. I can hang out with her and just talk to her and do stuff with her. I can't imagine like coming home after work and then like I'm curious, what this guy does. He go into another room played video games and what's he doing? Uh, I don't know. It's video games that's problem. Yeah,

that's what I thought. That's the first thing where my mind went to. He goes and he said, I'm gonna start gaming. Yeah, I don't want to shame video game people. But every time I see if we see his emails coming these podcasts all the time, it's like my husband comes from from work and plays video games all night, and I'm always like, what the hell is wrong with you, dude, Like grow grow up, brom Sorry, but I don't know. I think she needs you need to have a conversation

with him. Um, And I don't want to put this on her because like this is on him too, but like you know, he comes from from work just like like hey, how is your day, man? How about those mets? You know, just like talking about something and hopefully it'll be like, oh, yeah, I like to spend time with this person. That's why we moved in together. Let's spend more time together. Do you guys think there's like an imbalance um there because she's working remote, so she works

from home. He's in the office, and so it feels like there might be like some sort of like miss communication or like imbalance there where she's at home all day alone and he is like kind of like going into the office and like, you know, it's just it's obviously just a pretty different experience between working from home and working out of the office. Until maybe he gets back and he wants like decompress and uh, you know,

he's like he's you know, social to out. I guess like that that probably has something to do with it. I think, maybe not everything, but at least something. Yeah, So there's there's what's worth salvaging here, and it's worth a conversation. But here's a message for all women out there who have men who love their video games. Your boobs should be more entertaining to him than any video game, and if they're not, it's a problem. Okay, Well, hey, as I I like video games, but I also love boobs.

What if? What if they're like close to each other? But I guess you have as long as he's a ranked higher, boobs have got to be higher. Set the controller down. When the boob they're out, that's all, that's it, and only then, only then until the boom's come out, keep on grinding away. There are times where Caylin gets on my case we're playing video games where it's like I only ever played games like at night because I

don't want to waste the day. So I'll like start playing at like eight, and then like it will all of a sudden be like eleven o'clock and she's like, why the hell have you not come to bed yet? And I'm like, oh, I'll be in in ten minutes, and then like I just get like sucked into it, and I'm like then it's like one in the morning, and I'm like, oh my god, I've been playing for vide games for five hours. I'm the biggest piece of uh.

And there was a point where I like, it wasn't just playing the video games, but there was there's a big like movement amongst my friends to all play this one game together, and so there was like constantly like ten of us on and I was like, Kitlin, it's not just the video games. I'm like hanging out with my friends and like it's like a social thing. And She's like, I just don't get it. This is so

so so she got really frustrated by it. So I can empathize with the gamers, but at the same time too, when I look back on those times, I'm kind of like, what was I doing? Like why did I play so much? Like that's just silly, you know. I mean, I think the bottom line here, and we've learned this for the past few years. Kayl is just a lucky woman. That's it.

That's yeah, she's just you joke, you joke, but she's quite lucky alright, between the hygiene and the let me tell you, my my stink is one in seven million, and not everyone gets to experience this stink. So, uh no, you're right, You're right, Kaylin. You know she she's she's quite the saint to put up with someone like me. But um, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, Dean stink. That's a good way of segueing off this podcast. Thank you for everybody listening to help I suck at dating.

Please keep emailing us at I suck a dating on our heart media dot com. Of course, that's Dean's favorite part of the segment. Excuse me the podcast. Uh the only reason he will sound proof his car is to make sure he hears these emails. Uh So, Mark Easton, always pleasure having you boys on. Make sure everyone tune in next week. We're hopefully we suck just a little less where hopefully we stink just a little bit. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast