Roses for Housewives with Leah McSweeney

back and watching old seasons? I'm yeah, of course, because I just started watching this year, So now I'm watching all the old seasons and I honestly became super obsessed with with your story, Jared, and like how you're actually knew that you were the one, Like I can't believe that it had a happy ending. I'm like, I believe in love now and like women's into you know, like, don't ever call us like bitches because we know what we want and we know when she is like supposed

to happen. Yeah, I obviously couldn't agree more so, Uh, I think Eastern do we even need an intro? I think hopefully that that should all be on the podcast that was so good. All right, great, so we're we're we're recording right here. Welcome to help I suck a dating? Uh. Piper James back co hosting Dean myself, and we have an incredible guest from the Real Housewives of New York City. We have Leah McSweeney or Lee McSweeney. How are you, Leah? It's les also know it's fine. I'm also fanning out

that Piper's here. Oh my god, I'm fanning out that you're here exiting. Um, hey, guys, I'm I'm also here too, just in case anyone forgot I'm here. I'm here too. Do you ever get like I want to? I want to explain why misspronounced your first name because I know

it's Leah. And do you ever have like I'm sure people can relate when you're a little nervous and you go to say something and you know how to pronounce it, but you second guess yourself and so you go with option B even though you know it's wrong, but you're just like, you just make a wrong decision anyway, because I'm I'm literally reading it and it's Leah McSweeney, and I go I what I do is I get nervous when I have to introduce to people that I know

and like I know their names, but I'm thinking I'm gonna get up somehow. So I'm just like, here, we meet each other, and I don't like introduce them properly. It's really stupid. Uh well, Leah, thank you so much for joining us and help I start at dating. As everybody was listening, you've recently become a Bachelor fan, which is awesome. So what what made you get into Bachelor?

What was the first season. I don't I'm trying to think what the first one that I watched where I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I haven't been watching this all along. So I think it was the most recent was Clayton, and the one before that was Matt James. I didn't. I haven't seen that James. So I think what I did is I watched an old one. I think I might have watched the one with like I want to I can't remember names that well. It might have been Katie or like, okay, yeah Katie, Yeah,

you know Katie. She she was she was maybe like two years ago or three years ago or something like that. Right, Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's right. So you're pretty recent, which is pretty good exactly. So then I just started catching up and then Bachelor and Parrot Dice, like I'm like, wow, I'm so invested that it's like crazy. Um, it's funny because Kaylin is incredibly obsessed with Real Housewives. I don't know if she's seen the New York when I'm sure

she has. She's in my understanding she's seen them all, uh and all. Honestly, she should probably be here right now. With said that way, you could pick your brain a little bit. But why did you even want to pick up watching Bachelor? You were just like bored one day and turned it on or what? Yeah, Like I don't I don't even know. Like it was a divine intervention,

like God was like you must watch the show. It was like something deep in my soul was like trying to show out, like I just had no more shows to watch. And then I was just so happy. I was so happy that I found something that was just so awesome and dramatic and just like wow, yeah, just really intense. Do you watch reality TV? Yeah? I do,

that's the thing. I do watch reality TV, But I never got into it, and I had friends like straight dudes and like all different people that were just obsessed, like people that I would never think would even watch reality TV. Loves it, but I'm like into really like really trash trash, like I love like I love that after lock Up is like one of my favorite yes,

like crackheads, Like it's it's insane, it's insane. Um. But but what I love about The Bachelor and the Bachelorette, it's just like people are so open and putting themselves out there, and it's like I can't even imagine. Like I was just watching another season now, I'm trying to remember the girl's name. I just started watching it, and I'm like, oh my god, if I owe her name is Andy. And oh, so you're getting introduced to our good friend Nick Vile. Yeah, oh my god, wait Nick

hold on, isn't Pilot Pete also in that one? Or doing him in there? He comes later on? Yeah, he's like years down the road, confusing? Okay, so Nick, Yeah, But like the thing is, I mean I think about myself, like, oh my god, what if I was a bachelorette. I'm so jaded with dating, Like every guy that came by I would be like nope, like he's a dickhead, Like

people are so open and trusting. Well yeah, to show, yeah, you gotta have something like throw yourself out there and be like because if yeah, as Piper said, if you don't, then you're you're going to be eliminated, you know what I mean? Because the Bachelor of the Bachelor, it doesn't have time for a production, doesn't have time for that. It's like, if you don't open up, then you're just gonna be like, Okay, well this isn't gonna work out

for us. Where you could open up like Clayton and fall in love with three women, I mean, why not. He's dating thirty to start off with three, you know, honestly, so he only fell in love with what is that ten percent of the women? That's not so bad? So bad? Yeah, I gotta ask. So, as a reality TV fan, how did you stumble into being on Real Housewives of New York Right? Yes? So I um. I was actually casted through a woman who has already been on the show,

Bethany Frankel. She followed me on Instagram, so I was somehow on her radar and at the end of the season they always asked the women, like, give us names of people you know, and even though we didn't personally know each other, she just randomly gave them my name. Yeah. I was like a really weird wild card for casting because I was is like a lot younger than all the women, like by like twenty to thirty years younger

than all of them. Not from the Upper East like not do not hang out on the Upper East Side, not really my vibe, just like totally different. I really didn't think that I was gonna end up on it. I had no idea like how it was gonna work either. Once I got cast I'm like, how am I gonna do this? You obviously figured it out pretty well, pretty easily. I figured it out. Yeah, I mean that's just life,

you know what I mean. I feel like anytime someone gets because it is getting a new job, you know, being casted on the show, and I feel like so many people like whenever they apply for jobs, I've done it myself. And then you know, you really like you don't fake your resume, but you really build it up, you know what I mean. And then like you get the job and you're like, oh, what do I do now?

And then you just figure it out. Yeah, that's so true. Um, even in my casting, like when they were doing my tape or whatever, I said I was anti socialite, and I was like, once I that I'm antisocialite, I'm like, oh, they're never gonna pick me, likethesis. But that's because I went to school on the Upperast Side and like was from like downtown, and I just like I didn't like that like scene, you know, So I basically was going back into my like early adolescence all over again, like

at age thirty seven or however old. I was thirty eight when I did it. Lee. I see here in my notes too that you stayed sober the whole time on the show, which I'm sure you were an anomaly in that case. I you know, I haven't seen much of the Real House Lives show, but it seems like they're always like out of you, Like you're saying, like socialite socializing and drinking and stuff. Was that like a weird thing for you two? Not weird, but like was it challenging? I guess so, like I actually had I

hadn't like drank in like nine years. I was sober and then before I even knew that I was going to be on the know, I started drinking because like it had been so long, and I was like, I think I can, like you know, I'm in a different place in my life. And then it was like boom, You're gonna be on the show. And I was like, oh, better stop because I know how I am when I

get drunk, you know. But I didn't stop. So for the first season I drank, and then the second season I didn't drink, and I still haven't had a drink, thank god. But the second season was it hard to not drink? You don't. I think I had so much like reference from not drinking for almost a decade that it was kind of easy for me to get back, you know, like getting back on a bike kind of thing, luckily, because it's obviously very hard to stop drinking. Well, yeah, definitely.

In your book Chaos there you talk about getting sober, and I think for a lot of people out there, when getting sober, they can't go back because their addiction is so bad where it's like I if I have

a sip of a drink, it's all going downhill. So when you started drinking again and then you were able to stop again, was that stopping the second time, or saying like I'm not gonna have a drink, And was that more difficult than the first time or No, it was a totally different experience because I think the first time, I was like in such a desperate, like pressed, dark place, and it really came from like I actually had a

death premonition and that's like when I stopped drinking. And then this second time around, it was more like, Okay, I'm about to be a public figure. I'm about to like you know, there's a there's a pandemic. Um, I'm stuck in a house with like my ex and my kid and my sister and her kid, and I can't stop drinking, like I actually have to. I didn't really want to stop, but I was like I'm making a good decision by stopping and luckily, but it was all

but my drinking had gotten bad. Like it was like I was drinking and like once I drink, I want to like push up my nose and like that was happening, and I mean that's just what happens, you know, And like I was like I can't go back to that.

That's what I was doing in my past life, Like I can't and go do that again, Like I don't want to be like a story in the New York Post, you know what I mean, Like I go there in my head like god forbid, Like you think you're like doing a little having a little party favor and it's spent at all. I mean, I don't know, it's just like it was just it was it was gonna get dark and ugly. So I was like, I just gotta stop.

It's interesting to consider because we you know, when we're on when we're filming The Bachelor, any of the Bachelor's shows, it's not like we're at our uh you know, in our town, at our house with our friends, um, filming stuff. You're just like kind of like secluded and you don't

really have access to anything. Uh. And it got to the point where, by my very last season of Bachelor that I record that we filmed, I didn't drink it all either, because I was sick of like blacking out and then watching myself on TV not having a single

clue what I was gonna say or do. Um. But I can't imagine what it was, what it must have been like to like be like be like, I can't imagine if we had a film career, like following, um me around in Los Angeles with my friends, because I feel like that's when it's not like bad decisions per se. It's it's just you're a lot more like loose decisions mostly, you know, you're a lot more comfortable, and so yeah,

you make bad decisions. Um, although like you know, obviously Batchler's got their special formula where their isolation is kind of what drives people crazy and makes them do crazy things. So there's like pick your poison sort of thing. But you know, it's super interesting to hear, especially you've had

both sides of it. You said season one you drank and then season two you hadn't, So is there I mean obviously you I would say you probably would prefer that not drinking because you're way more control, right, Like that's that's gotta be. I mean, look, I'm actually like a really fun like drunk, like I I like really like I am. I mean, I'm not gonna lie like

it's fun until it's not, you know. So, like I think people really enjoyed watching me like while out, but like I can't do that just because the audience maybe thinks that's more entertaining because like I have a life and a child and things like that. So you know, I think I think I'm fun like also without booze, Like I didn't drink for many years and it never

stopped me from doing anything. If anything, I was able to do so much more, you know, like actually like kind of oh my god, there was that one guy on The Bachelor in Paradise who was like so drunk and he got like asked to leave. That was really bad. Sorry, I keep Oh my god, that was hard to watch. Yeah, guy's a loser. Um, I gotta ask is because you you have brought it up and I think I remember hearing you mentioned that you, um are not in a

relationship with your fats anymore. Would you ever consider going on the Bachelor? Um? Well, like I said, I think I'm just so like jaded. I don't think that I could ever, Like I don't know if I could really trust. Like, I mean, everybody's hot on the show, so like that part is awesome because they're already picking hot dudes, So that part would be great. You know, I don't have to like shift through you know, a bunch of like ugly dudes. But like I would just not like I'm

just I mean, I stuck at dating. That's why I'm on this podcast. I suck at it, Like I'm not good at it. My daughter had me like, my daughter makes so much fun of me. She she actually had me call this one guy who I matched on Hinge with. She's like, you know, I'm like, Okay, I have to go talk to him. I'm going to go in the other room. She's like, no, stay here and put him on speaker because I want to hear everything. You're in

the middle of the get my daughter's savage. In the middle of the conversation, She's looking at me, going, mom, there's no connection. Hang up on him. This guy is a dork, you know. And I'm like, no, maybe I should like go to lunch with him. She's like, why he's boring. He didn't make you laugh. There's no connection. It's total with the time. I mean, maybe I shouldn't be listening to my fifteen year old. I don't know.

It sounds like you need to go on Paradise. Maybe they make a non pre bachelor exception for you, because at least you had options in that scenario, so you can mesh with different personalities and everyone's so hot, so

but I wouldn't like that because there's too much competition. Yeah, it's like a that's like my worst nightmare when I watched people cry and Tammy was crying and all these people are crying and everyone's feelings are getting hurt, and like people are left and right like bringing each other's hearts. I'm like, oh my god, I could not deal with bat room paradise. It sounds like you and Rob's have a good relationship. Would you ever consider getting back with him?

The hell no, weed for a reason exactly. And we have a good relationship because we're not romantically involved. Because once you're romantically involved with each other, there's expectations, there's this, there's that, it's very complicated. Like, I don't have any expectations Rob, He's not my man, he's my friend, he's my family. That's fair. So is that was that what your secret tip would be to anyone that's going through breakup?

To remove I mean obviously, like if you and be mature enough about it, removed the romantic component about it, and just like do your best to be friends? Is that your advice or what would you say to like stay in good on good terms with them? If you have a kid, Yeah, because you kind of have to stay on good terms personally. I don't speak to any of my other ex is. I don't have kids with them. They were all mistakes. Why would I talk to them.

I hate all of them. So yeah, so um no, I just I wouldn't even say to stay friends in the nex unless you have to. How is it dating with a child in New York? Um, it's kind of like, you know, it's great because on one hand, I'm thirty nine about I have a fifteen year old. I don't have that that like pressure of like you better find someone now, kid, because your clock is running out. So I'm blessed, you know, I got knocked that's up at

age twenty four, thank god. So I don't have to be in a relationship, like I have everything I need, you know. But at the other at the other end of it, it's like I don't really want to like be in a relationship because I want to give all my time to my daughter. Of course, now she's getting older and I'm realizing that and I'm like, damn, she's going to be like in college in a few years, so I should probably start opening myself up to dating soon. So I do need to start dating against soon. I

just don't know where to meet guys. And honestly they're all pieces of ship. Yeah that yeah, New York dating. All my friends that are doing it are like, absolutely not. It's not for me. I always say outsourced because long distance is better. You're so right, paper, And it's also like, okay, my age like demographic, like guys like are like dating younger than me, right, So what am I gonna like fifty year old want like twenty year olds, you know

or whatever? Like, So what do I have to date like a sixty year old or a seventy year old? I personally and I'm attracted to like twenty six year olds, That's what I find. So I think I gotta start dating and kind of turned into the cougar at some point soon reversingary to do it. That's certainly realistic, Thank you. I think so too. Yeah, um, I want you to. Could you give some advice to Jared Si. Jared's got a three month old at home, just had her him.

I'm sorry, Jared not too long ago and you said Jared girl is fifteen now, So with with all that perspective, can you give Jared any parenting advice. Oh my god, Jared, I know it's I know you're probably exhausted, and yes, I know you're exhausted and all that good stuff, but dude, you have to. This is what I would say to anybody, like, you have to. I wish that I had done this, Like it's my regret of not like holding onto those

moments more and like just like basking in them. I was so worried about like this or that, or do I have the right Diaperginie, and you know this, like oh my god, Like she's like is she gonna talk soon? Like what's happening? But I just like and I didn't, Like, I don't know, I don't, I don't. I feel like I just took those moments in enough and then it goes by so quick, Lee, and then that they're gone, like they're not babies anymore and they're not toddlers anymore,

and it's over. It's like super sad kind of No. I appreciate that, and I couldn't agree more. I'm trying to soak in every moment with him as possible because he's just changing so much, even from day to day, and uh, it's it's wonderful, obviously, but it's also quite sad to know that it's just gonna be over uh, and that it's already getting to that point because I love him so much as a baby. Uh. The the idea that he's going to grow up to be like me makes me so sad. I'm like, bro, yeah, so

I'm like, you're so you You're so much better. Don't be like no, like, just stay a baby. You deserve so much more. Um, But well, thank you. I appreciate a piece of advice. And before you go, I didn't want to ask you a question because obviously you're dating in New York. You know, you talk about I'm not saying you're gonna be on the Bachelor, but you know, hey,

who knows. But I wanted to know if there was one celebrity out there that you could go on a date with, or like if you were the bachelorette and you had your pick, like, who's your celebrity crush that you'd want to see walk out of the limo? Um? Okay, it would be Okay, it's two guys, but one is married, so he'd have to get divorced. Okay, we can make that happen. Okay, it would be definitely Joe Rogan. Wait, hold on who Joe Rogan and Eminem? Yeah so yeah,

slim Shady Marshall Mathers, Matt Marshall, Mathers, h Marshall. Wait, so do you like Eminem more with the blonde or the dark hair? I mean, I would make him go back to blonde. Yeah, really, you're simply each honey. And then Joe Rogan, Yeah, I mean the guy is like so rich now too, and also he's just he's cool. It's how I know he's controversial, but like he's dope, Like I love him. No, I listened to his podcast too.

He yea. I guess I've never seen him as like a ladies man though, so it's hard for me to be like, oh, yeah, what a stud I guess he's a handsome man. He's he's listening. He's kind of short and like he's a bit bulky and all that, but like he's super into health. You know, he's super he's a super like he's intellectual but also cool, and I feel like we would have like dope conversations. Obviously, he he does have a wife and has a family, so

I think he is a family. He's a family that's important. Listen, this is not this is me saying if him, you know, if he was single, I'm saying, like me, I try to be like anybody's mistress or anything like that. Do we know if Eminem is single? Is Eminem? It's got to be my only fear with him and also with Joe Rogan, because I feel like Joe Rogan has taken

a lot of steroids. I'm afraid it's shriveled his stick and then and also has has made fun of himself for having a small dick and I can't have that. So but they could get dick. Yeah, I've heard that's the thing I've heard that's coming onto the market for people. Well, Leah, it was. I love Deean's reaction. Yeah, so that we consider u. Leah, thank you so much for coming the podcast. We really appreciate it. Oh my god, of course, sorry that he was my video. Please don't think I'm rude.

It's just you know, we just we totally get it. And once again, you've been so raw and real on this podcast. We really appreciate that. And you're very raw and really in your book as well. We talked about not only getting sober like we talked about, but your early days in New York and founding your company married to the mob, which is a wild success, having children dating um, So you can check that out Chaos Theory. You can buy that anywhere where you get your books.

And once again, Liam McSweeney, thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciated so nice to meet all of you. You. Best of luck finding a rich man with a big penis. I hope she's gone. All right, Well, that's gonna do it. For this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? UM, thank you guys so much for joining us. Big thank you to Piper for joining us for both this episode and Sunday's episode. If you haven't listened to that one, go back to Sunday give

it a listen. It's definitely worth your time. Be sure to dude to next week Help I Suck at Dating, or maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck At Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast