Return to Paradise

doing for the past couple of weeks. It's been so long as I've seen you. Your tan, You're all of the sun kissed skin, the facial here, it's somehow got thicker. You are looking fantastic. Vanessa obviously is in her apartment in Montreal as well. Um, and we're just gonna go from there. We're kind of flying from the seat of our pants today. When was the last I Suck At Dating podcast with Dean, Vanessa and Jared all on at the same time. Quite a while? Yeah, the last time

we recorded all together was Tahoe. Wow. Quite the extensive period of was about a month and a half ago. Right, So, yeah, we are so j I gotta say, you look really good with the ring on your finger. Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate it. I know there it is shining, glimmering. How does it feel listening? Feels good, it feels normal. Do you take it off like I should be wearing this ring for a while? You take it off on you sleep? Yeah. I already lost it once. Well actually

technically I didn't lose it. I misplaced it because I found it. I don't know how that one. I don't know. Long story short. We were in New York after we came back from our honeymoon. We had to be in New York for a few days. Ashley was recording Almost Famous. I went to go to Barnes and Noble, walked around, went to go reach for a book. Noticed that my ring was not there. Another thing about my ring, it's doesn't It's a little loose, and when my hand gets wet,

it becomes very slippery and falls off easily. I was very aware of this on the honeymoon. I was very conscious of this. So I made sure to like, oh, just have my hand in a fist. But then so I reached for a book and Barnes and Noble. My ring wasn't there. I had a panic attack because we were about ten blocks from the hotel, so I was thinking I could have lost it within any span of time. But then I was thinking rationally and thought, okay, it had to have slipped off when I was either in

the shower or washing my hands. So I immediately went back to the hotel. Check the shower floor wasn't there, checked the sink wasn't there. Had another mini panic attack until I noticed to the right of the sink, right on the counter was my wedding ring. And so housekeeping shout out to nicker Barker. Nicker Barker Housekeeping for keeping my ring on the counter. They must have saw it either on the shower floor on the sink and took it off and set it there and just forgot. No,

I would have remembered. So so when you go to bed at night, you take it off and put on the nights No, No, I keep it on. I just keep it on. Yeah, why don't you just get a size a little bit better? I'm going to Oh, we've been away. That's a good point. So anyway, I never take mine off. Just for the record, I don't know why anybody takes those off. I never take mynef get it dent if you don't take it off. Yeah, I want that dent. That dens kind of do too. It's

like a permanent wedding ring. You know, you're so cute. I have friends who are married that take theirs up to like rock climb and like the things that required rock climbing. You don't want to lose a finger in case it gets caught. I was gonna take it off while working out, or I should say attempting to work out, but then gotten used to it. South Beach diet. Baby always about it. So tell us about your honey when you went to Positano to uh Santorini. Yeah, so we

left immediately after the wedding. We got married on a Sunday, left on that Monday because that's what actually always wanted. Left flew to And I'm sorry, I'm gonna cut you off there. I just have a question. So is i've an answer? Is that typical for married couples to do or do you typically stay around in the venue area for a couple of days and then leave. I think traditionally you leave pretty immediately. I don't know, this is

what Ashley wanted to do. I think traditionally usually for the honeymoon pretty immediately and you know what, it's really up to the couple, I think. But we left immediately, flew into Naples at then went to a Malfi coast, Naples, Florida. Naples, Florida was great, drove up to Orlando, went to Disney World. That would have been the honeymoon I wanted. No. Italy

was fantastic. We went to a Malfi coast, went to past Toano, and then we took a ferry to Capri and Capri was absolutely gorgeous, which is an island off the coast of Italy. Uh. And then we flew to uh Santorini in Greece, which was absolutely breathtaking. Spent five days there staying Uh. Yeah, you know, we stayed outside of Eau. We were only about a ten minute drive from there. So we went to EA many times. Uh. You know. We had this sunset cruise that we did

for a day which was breathtaking. Uh, and it was just an incredible time. It was really nice. Um actually was spot on when she said she wanted to do that because she wanted to feel like husband and wife, like a married couple. Of she didn't want to get married and then go immediately back home because we had the opportunity to go on a honeymoon, and of course we wanted to take advantage of it. And she was

absolutely right because it did feel different. Like yeah, because you know, everybody as soon as they find out that you're on your honeymoon immediately treat you differently or give you coupons for free drinks, or like, oh my god, congratulations, you guys, just get married and let me see the rings. And uh so it was quite an experience and it was truly, um, one of the best two weeks of my life. Did you fly first class? Well, that's a

personal question. We we did, though, uh luckily knock on Wood. Uh, not the entire trip, but we were able to the long stretches from here over to Naples. We were able to get. It's business class. It's different. The reason I asked is because I just watched the Friends episode where Monica and Chandler are on their honeymoon and a couple ahead of them gets upgraded the first class for free

because they say that they're on their honeymoon. Oh okay, we didn't get upgraded and we just you know, but um, actually, ironically though, actually sister Lauren and her boyfriend got upgraded to first class when they flew back to Los Angeles randomly. Yeah, so I kind of worked out for them. But the honeymoon was was awesome. Uh, pictures looked amazing. Yeah, it was just it was an incredible time, and honestly, her

and I just really relaxed the entire time. We did a little bit of sight seeing, a little bit of traveling, but I think we didn't want our honeymoon to be bouncing around from place to place and feel like we

had an itinerary. We really just wanted to relax and enjoy our time together and eat and and lay out by the pool and drink and and you know, be romantic and all that we have five days in Santi is a lot Castor is a small island, it is, and so like you get, it's good that you can just kind of relax and unlined and yeah, really unlined, which was great, Uh, you know, and it was just

an incredible time that I'll never forget. And the wedding was just absolutely stunning, and the best weekend of my life. This is your first podcast episode post wedding too. Yeah, okay, it was the best weekend of my life. So we should probably have into that a little bit too. What was the highlight of the honeymoon specifically? Though? Highlight of

the honeymoon? Um, while there's so many of like whether it's location or dinner or like our favorite well, honest, our favorite dinner, Uh, probably was this small restaurant that we went to in Capri. So the hotel that we stayed at was in the middle of this little village where we could go and walk around. There'd be little shops and coffee and espresso and restaurants and and so we went to this restaurant one night that was just uh, it was a small little nook and the food was incredible.

Of course, we got two pasta dishes, and the pasta there is outrageously good. Because did you feel like you were less bloated after you had pasta? Yeah? Actually actually did some redshirts into this because you you don't you know, when you eat a huge bowl of pasta over here, you know your stomachs full, you feel bloated, you feel grossedy, you just want to lay down over there. You don't feel bloated at all, and it it doesn't feel like

you ate this huge heap of pasta with sauce. Uh. And it's apparently because there's no h, you know, pesticides and yeah, it's not. It's less process it's all organic there. So the pasta was so fresh and tasted amazing and it was just that was probably one of my favorite dinners in one of the high lights. And Capri itself, I think it was a highlight for us. Um. Wait, so the dinner and Capri and Capri, so all in all, Capri was just that. I think Capri was our our favorite.

Santorini was stunning though, all three past Yeah, and the Multi Coast was incredible as well. But the resort that we stayed at we had a room um which was kind of located down by the water um and obviously it was it was on a cliff, and so in order to get to our room from the hotel every day, we had to walk about two hundred steps. It's like a workout. It was a workout and they're not easy steps.

Those you know, each step is about awkwardly sorry, you know, it's it's about three ft wide, and they're like, it's not the same size step every time. It's like it's probably a different size step. Yeah, you know it's it's obviously rocky and different levels and uh so we certainly got our steps in there. Um and I felt really

bad because our last day. Of course, the hotel really wants to take care of you, and we had two suitcases with us, and so they're, yeah, the guy is this This guy made like Ivan Drago from Rocky four, literally throw two over his shoulder and just walking up the steps. Because if he's Hercules, those guys are crazy. I mean they do it every day, so like obviously get used to it and then like build a tolerance or for or whatever. But yeah, you always see them,

then you're like, god, that's impressive. Yeah. But I think, honestly, probably the highlight as well as our first dinner in Amalfi, just because it was our first dinner, uh on our honeymoon. We had a breathtaking view. Um so that was probably one of the did you guys stop in New York on the way there, on the way back or the

way back? Oh and you went to Jonas Brothers concert? Well, yes, actually wanted to go to the Jones Brothers concert because we had a good New York for a few days anyway, And then of course she timed it perfectly where the Jonas Brothers were in town that that day. So we went to the Staples Center and so the Jonas Brothers perform and they put on a great show. You know, hey, they're musically talented. They put it on a good show.

I enjoyed myself. It was funny though, because I was surrounded by girlfriends or wives with their significant others as well, who probably were in the same boat as me, where it's like I'm enjoying myself. I'm having fun. They're losing their sho but I'm I'm having a good time. I will say, do admire your willingness to go along with um Ashley to those types of things. I mean, she's been to so many Rob Thomas concerts. Come on, but

I'm sure she likes Rob Thomas. Yeah she does. It's a little bit more musical musically, he is more both of our style brothers more. I mean, I very much enjoy Sucker. That's a fantastic song. Obviously I couldn't name a single Jonas Brothers song, but you no, sucker, it's the one that's on the radio all the time. Now, I don't listen to the radio. I don't have radio that doesn't see very insulting to those of us in the radio industry. My heart studio right now to the radio.

So did you feel like you were you had more privacy while you were in Europe on your honeymoon. Yeah, I mean a couple of you came out to us that were also on their honeymoon, which was really sweet. Uh. Yeah, a couple of people were saying, we know that you just got married. We just got married. So it was this really nice moment between us. But all and all, no, yeah, it was. It was very secluded in private, which was

really nice. Ashley and I really had some time to try to soak in every moment of the honeymoon because that's you know, it's never gonna happen again. We only have one. Uh, so we really tried to make sure that we enjoyed every second of it and just uh collected as many memories as we possibly could and just really live in the moment um. And we tried to

do that honestly, from the entire time. When we flew into Rhode Island up until you know, when we flew back to New York when it was all said and done. Since he was we're gone for what to week. We were doing in Europe for twelve food days. It's a

long time. It was a long time. We wanted to make sure um that we you know, it's a long flight to you know, it's about ten hours, and so we really wanted to try to make sure that we could extend it as long as possible because with such a long flight, we wanted to make sure we get your time's worth exactly. And also, I mean, this is only my second time to Italy. I've only been there once before and that was in two thousand and nine. Ashley had hadn't been there and I think fifteen years.

So it's not like we're able to go to Italy every other weekend. So it was really kind of one of those moments where we want to take advantage of our time because we have no idea when the next time we'll ever be in Italy. And it was the first time I was ever in Greece granted to Santorini, so it's the island, but I had never been in Greece. Before we're Did you fly into San three report? Did

you find Athens and take the boat up? No? No No, no, So we flew from Capri actual excuse me, from Naples right into Santorini, which a lot of people were flabbergasted by. How did Santoris airport small? It's the worst airport I've ever been to my life. No customs either, No customs I had, Like I remember what I flew out of Santorini, just flew right in and walked right into the country. What marks Mark laughing over there? It's so relatable. Oh

my gosh, Santorini's thet everted to you, uncultured swine. Santorini is in Greece. It was just it's small. What you hate about it so much? What's your with Santorini? Experience with it was I had a flight out of Santorini airport at three am, and I got there at one am, And at one oh five am I get an email saying my flight was delayed seven hours and so I had to stay in the city airport for an extra seven hours. I saw you post about that. I'm very upset.

That's a bad one. That is about how can you delay a flight seven hours. I was not happy. Um, but it ended up working at the end of the day. But okay, so what did you miss most while you were traveling? What did I miss most? Because like you're you know, you're, um, I think I missed two things. Really. One I missed our dog Lois. Uh yeah, she's she's

our child, so we really missed her. And then secondly, I really missed being with my family, our family, um, after the wedding, because it was such a moment and a night in a weekend that I really wanted time to just spend with everybody that was involved, you know, her parents, my parents, siblings, friends, family, and just like

be like and just talk about it. You know. It's gotta be such an interesting, interesting contrast to go from the wedding, which is your friends, your family and you're like all spending time together consistently for the course of the weekend, to then just you and actually for four days in a row. Yeah, it's like you're you're surrounded by all of these people all the time and then all of a sudden, it's just you. And actually, you know, that's gotta be weird. I would imagine. Actually, no, it

wasn't really that weird. I think I'm actually and are so comfortable with each other and just being around each other all the time now that it's really second nature, like an adjustment I guess maybe, but yeah, I'm not saying that it was weird for you, and actually just like to go from the smothering and like all of this attention from all the people being at your wedding, which I want to let's talk about your wedding too, because obviously it was beautiful and it's funny. Did you

have fun I had? Did you? Are you being sarcastic? No? I mean I haven't really talked to you about it. I mean we we've talked since, but not like I hadn't asked you if you had funny. I still can't get over how much fun I had. I was like kind of like, I gotta go to a wedding. I'm never really big fan of weddings, but then I was there and I was like, holy cow, this is like one of the most beautiful things I've ever been to. And I've talked about it to my friends, who um like,

obviously we're removing vasterlination. One friend in particular, who was like a big, big um like Disney fan, and you just played a lot of Disney songs at this reception and she was like losing her and I was like, yeah, you should have seen the setup. It looked just like it was straight out of Beauty and the Beast's Castle, and then they were playing like the Disney music on

top of that. I mean, I had a blast. My only complaint if I if you were to come to me and have like a team, give me one thing that you didn't like about the wedding. I'm not asking that. I'm gonna tell you, okay, it just ended too early. Well, the problem was it ended at uh well, we had ended at midnight, so we had everybody leave at love forty five, which is not early. It's not early, but I'm just saying I was having so much fun I wanted to go longer. No, that was what we wanted.

You know, we were supposed to end an hour early, and that night we extended it an hour because the cocktail party was going long because pictures were taking along, which I feel like anybody who's ever gotten married can relate to that. Of course, pictures are taking longer than they're supposed to um, but we we extended it and

we really that's awesome that you said that. And probably one of the best comments that anybody paid to me throughout the entire night was that so many people came up and said, this is the most Ashley and Jarard wedding we could have possibly imagined, which really felt the world to me because Ashley and I worked so hard throughout the past year with our wedding planner, Troy Williams, whose company is called Simply Troy, which I find fantastic

you you met him. He's a bald gay man who's just the most fantastic human being you'll ever meet in your entire life. And he um, his company is called simply Troy because everything simply like He's just simply grateful, which I find hysterical. A great job, Oh, he was incredible, and his entire wedding team was just phenomenal and and he did such a good job of letting Ashley and

I really incorporate our personalities at this wedding. Uh. Like even like you talk about the music, every song that played was was picked up by Ashley and I and we just you know, had the band play um. Uh, you know, we were just like, can you please play these songs? We're like, yeah, sure, this is great. And then with DJ Jack, who is laurence boyfriend, we asked the same thing, like he plays songs. Then he was

able to put the mix together. And then during the dinner we had the the the string Quartet play musical movie themes, which was awesome. Sounds a yeah, it was just we we we wanted to make sure we put details in there that meant the world to Ashley and I. Even for example, during the ceremony we had two readings, but they were your traditional readings. They were movie read things,

and people can give us crap for that. I don't really care because it was what Ashley and I wanted and one of them was so we had a one bridesmaid and one groom's been go up and do a reading from a movie and the first one was the finale scene from Jerry McGuire where he comes in I'm looking for my wife, and then that was fantastic, And then we had to do another reading from When Harry met Sally, where of course he goes to the New Year's Eve party and confesses his love for from Meg

Ryan's character and they did a great job with it, and Nick dominated it. It was awesome. Also, yeah, I just want to point out this, like it's kind of awkward that I'm talking about the wedding because of the history between Vanessa and I. Uh and Vanessa, I hope you don't feel awkward about talking about it, and not at all. I I was watching you stories and I found it absolutely amazing, and like I said, it just ended up happening that that weekend too, was my grandmother's funeral.

Oh my god, yeah, I texted you. Yeah, So it was just, Um, I absolutely loved watching his stories and hearing you know, like watching every everyone else's reaction is to your The whole experience from like even when Ashley was trying on wedding dresses to seeing her final pick of her wedding dress was like, oh my god, I'm sure all the girls that were following her were so amazed by her dress and like everything that you guys put together. So absolutely no hard feelings at all. I

love hearing these stories. Um, but thank you, thank you for pointing that out. No, it's weird because I just yeah, Ashley was Yeah, it was she looked breathtaking and and just the entire day, you know, like I I think back on memories. It's only been a month, but like us playing football on the beach, and then of course you know Cupcake getting her It felt I just felt horrible, but like that was so much fun. And then the rehearsal dinner was so much fun. And then the day

of just hanging out the house. I mean, you don't remember any of that, but because I slept in until like three, oh, that was fantastic. It was like four pm. The ceremonies an hour and a half, and it's like, all right, so we gotta get Dean's. It's because I remember the night before we went out to O'Brien's. Yeah, and I was like, all right, tonight's like the last night Jared's a single man. I'm gonna get him as drunk as possible. I'm like buying shots forever. I don't

think you were taking the shots. I took two. I took two shots, right, well, so my goal was to get you as drunk as possible, But in reality, I got myself as drunk well because you kept going and you're like I'm getting another shot, and I was like I'm good, and they're like, all right, I'll be back. I was like, wow, he's taking another one. Good God,

good for you know. I'm glad that everybody had fun. Um. And I even think back on that moment before, right before we went into the church all together, when it was just us Grunsman in the side room and Alan was there as well, Alan Gale, who officiated at our wedding. Um, yeah, it's just like moments like that, you're so nervous. I

was so nervos. I was just so overwhelmed with so many different emotions because it's such a weird feeling and anybody's been married can relate to this where everybody in that room is only there for you, celebrating your love, and it's so many people different walks of my life. Um that it's just this like like you were there

with my dad and high school and stuff. Yeah, and Nick was there with you know, uh yeah, you know, not only my father who's my best man, but like my friends from school and high school and and just like it was this surreal moment where so many people that have been so close with me from all different aspects of my life now are all together in one room and it's everything I ever wanted, um, and I'm marrying my best friend. It was just it was it was cool. It was really cool. Man. It was cool. Man.

I know I talk a lot about it, but I don't care if people think that I'm talking too much about it because it was just it was one of those one of those one of those weekends, you know, one of those days. I think it'd be weird if you didn't talk about it. Yeah, I guess right if I was like, yeah, it was cool, moving right along, which honestly, like if and when I get married, it's probably I'm gonna do. Yeah, I get married, whatever's talk about it anymore, that's probably gonna be an issue. So

it's good that you're so so jazzed about it. I think that's a good thing. I guess. I'm sure there's a lot of listeners who are either planning on getting married, or there are and they are engage, or I'm in a position where like I feel like the person that I'm with is the person that I want to spend

the rest of my life with. What is a piece of advice that you can give to us listeners, to the listeners who are taking that extra step and if you were to go back and say, you know what I spent We spent too much time thinking about this for the wedding. Not not important, Like what's something that you can say was helpful to do? I'm sure like having a wedding planet it was really helpful. What's something that you thought, well, there was no point of thinking

about this or stressing out over this. UM. I think my best advice is to make it your own as much as possible, and don't worry about what anybody's gonna think or or you know, just do what you want to do. Because Ashley and I were a little where we were stressed about a lot of things because we were really hard on the wedding with our with our wedding planner, uh, and we spent a lot of money on it, and we were very stressed about that and curious,

what is it going to be worth it? It's one day of our lives and this is what we're putting into it. Um And looking back on it, it was worth every second of effort, It was worth every dollar we spent because it just created a memory that I can't tell you how grateful I am for. So that would be my advice is to make you know, don't be it's everything that you're stressing about right now during the wedding planning, or if you will stress, you will

stress during wedding planning. It's all gonna be worth it. It's all gonna be worth it, you know, um and and and and and personalize it, you know, like if you're spending money, if you want, like, don't be afraid to ask. I remember when we were asking the band, uh, we kind of felt a little um, I don't want to say self absorbed, but awkward to say, hey, can you play these songs? And then we're thinking about it. Let's just do it, let's just ask, and they were like, yeah,

of course we can play the song snores. And then every song that was played there, every song that came on, it was like, oh I love this song. I love this song. And then um, you know, and then even like the movie readings, you know, we knew people are gonna be like, oh ked, they're they're having movie lines,

and I was like, well, that's what we want. And everybody seemed to really enjoy it, and it was fun and it was emotional, and we put so many of our details into it, even like simple things like our invitations, the like the on the outside of the envelope it was it said A and J with the Superman symbol around it, which I don't think a lot of people picked up on, but it was something that was so meaningful to me to be like, oh, instead of the

S and there, it's the A and J, you know. Um. And so we just had a lot of fun within. So that's my best advice is Yep, it's definitely me more expensive than you think. Uh. And there's gonna be payments that you have to make at last minute that you're going to stress out about, and it's gonna seem that like nothing is coming together and is it gonna

be worth it? And I promise you it all will be worth it because when that day comes and you're with the people that you love the most, um, and they're they're celebrating you and your love, there is not a feeling like it in this world that I have yet to experience, which, um, you know, I'm sure we'll be topped if you know, Ashley and I are uh you know, lucky enough to have kids one day. Um. But for the moment, it was Yeah, even my dad,

my dad came up to me. So I got to see him before we flew out on Monday, and he said, uh, he said it was one of the highlights of his life. It's awesome. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, I mean no money could ever match, you know, hearing that from your dad. I guess. One final question, the one that we're all dying to know. Oh good, it's not about sex, Jared, and that's where your mind going. Did Dean hook up with anybody at the wedding? I kiss Nick, Yeah, to

apreciate kissed me on the list one time. I definitely kissed you. This is something about me. When I'm drunk and around my friends, all I want to do is kiss him. Yeah, that's not the question, right. The question we're all dying to know is under your tuxedo at the wedding while you were setting your vows, were you wearing a love Man shirt? No, I should have. We wanted to name one of the drinks love Man, but then it was actually, I'll tell a quick story, So

Caitlyn came. Caitlyn and Jason and I forgot that I had said this on my first season of Paradise, but we were going to name one of the drinks especially to drinks love Man, and then apparently my first season of Paradise, I said I'm not love Man anymore because that was for Caitlin, And then I remembered it while making the drinks and I was like, well, we can't name one of the drinks that anymore. Um, but but yeah. One more thing about the way I was so happy

was in Rhode Island. You know, I'm so glad that people came and loved Newport beat. It's happy. Man. It was like, it's like the type of town like if you were to pull someone out of any country in the world and you're like, you need to show them a town that that mimics America, that like that shows

you in America looks like right. I just feel like it's like a very quintessential American town where you can just like be there and be like, okay, like this is like a it's like the Victorian houses or whatever, and like the ruffles with the red, wet and blue on them, on the white picket fences on the top floor of the house. I don't know. It was mind blowing. Is beautiful. It is, man, It's just home, you know.

And that's why I loved I'm so happy that we were able to have our wedding you know home, uh, and I'm so glad everybody loved me port and and enjoyed it. And I'm so glad the weather was nice

and cooperated because that was really a game changer. And that was another thing that I loved about the entire wedding process was making sure that Rhode Island, my home, was incorporated in it, even with uh, you know, we had Dunkin Donuts there where people took Shake Jack was there, which is obviously West Coast, but shake Shack that we didn't know Shake Shack was coming. They surprised us, so

shout out to shake Shack for doing that. Uh. And then like everybody took professional photos, which they all received, but they also were I don't know how they did this. They took the photos and we're able to print them on donuts, and then everybody got a donut leaving the wedding, which was spectacular and delicious. And then we had like a Dell's lemonade dessert, which is very uh quintessential in

Rhode Island. The bartender Adam as one of my really good friends who I used to work with at the Providence Oyster Bar, and he's the best bartender I ever have seen. And he came and bartended the wedding because I wanted everybody to have like a V I P experience and I knew he would provide that. Um and just like to have all those like little details in there, and they were far more than I can't remember now, but just to really like hit home with something that

meant a ton to me. Well, we love it, we love you. It's great that you're able to experience that. We're grateful to be part of that as well. No, no, I know I love you both, guys, And uh, I'm really glad. Yeah, you're married. Now I'm married. I'm hustitating. You upgraded from sucking at dating to hopefully not sucking at being married. Yes, this week is your one month anniversary. Hi, it was yesterday. Yesterday was four weeks since we got married.

You made it a month, made it a month. That's I mean, if I was a betting man, I know anybody who lose money in this room right now, Let's be honest. Easton's pulling out his wallet right now. I'm happy for you guys. Anyways, will definitely be drawn back to this quite a bit, just because obviously it's super interesting and it's a big part of your life now. So UM, but before well, I guess not before anything. We are going to move on to the next segment. Dean.

We need to talk about you because you've been on a TV show. You just came back to it. You asked the woman, I don't know if you love her, but you really like her to leave paradise with you, and we find out the answer when we get back. So I can totally relate to this. So I've recently um made a little bit of a story and an ad out there on Instagram talking about how I wanted to hire some interns. And let me tell you, it

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That's zip recruiter dot com, slash d a t ease, zip recruiter dot com slash date The Smartest way to hire. Welcome back to help I suck a dating Vanessa Dean myself all in studio and Dean, we have to talk about you, because now we've seen you leave Paradise, come back to Paradise, asked for Kalin back after you broke up with her, when you gave her the birthday cake. A lot of things going out and a lot of

just a lot of things happen. You have to remind them of the birthday cake thing, the birthday break up. Was it really a bad well, I thought it was nice to give her the cake. I don't know. I also think that was overblown, the whole stop stop with the mic thing. Yeah, sorry, I just want to get in position. He's getting nervous. Um. I I thought the whole birthday cake was overblown, Like at least you were truthful. What do you the birthday cake with the whole leaving

on her birthday? I don't know why people, I mean, I guess it wasn't. Let me just set the record straight because there seems to be a lot of miscommunication about what actually happened. I dumped her at three am the day after her birthday. It was no longer her birthday, and I am so sick of being criticized for dumping a girl on her birthday when it wasn't even her birthday. But I guess the question is should you have just what?

What would have been worse you either telling the truth in the moment or holding off till the next day and then possibly maybe not getting another chance to be honest there was So I I'll say this, I think you did the right thing. I didn't go into the night expecting to break up with Caitlin that night. I think I can share that what made you want to break up with her? Well, Vanessa, I'll get there. I'm building it up a little bit. I'm trying. I'm trying

to tell story here. I'm a storyteller. I went to that night. I guess I went into let's let's reverse engineers all the way from the beginning. So I walked down to paradise that I didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. I was very clear about that, not only with Kalin, but with everyone on the beach, the contestants, the producers. The entire time. I was like, yeah, like, I'm just here. I'm not gonna leave as a boyfriend.

I'm not gonna leave with a girlfriend. So obviously it begs the question why I even go to Paradise, which we've talked about before. I went because it was fun. It was that fun thing to do, and there's nothing wrong with doing that. For example, when you go on a date with someone, sometimes you always don't go into a date with the expectations, oh, I'm going to develop a relationship with this person. You go because you meet someone and it's fun and you never know what's going

to happen. R Why would you say not to an opportunity just because you like, it's silly to say no to things I didn't have exactly, Like, it doesn't matter. I didn't miss out on anything by not going, So what's the point of not going? Anyways, that's the point. It was a very well known fact that me being on that beach was just there to have a good experience. And you're honest, from the very moment you walked down with everyone with Kalin, with the content estence with the producers,

everyone knew that. And it got to a point where, you know, at this point after dumping Kalin, which I think we talked about it on a podcast a couple of weeks ago, was you know, I was on the beach for like six days Kitlin was getting really really invested in the relationship. I liked her, but I knew very well that I wasn't going to leave the beach in a relationship with her. And because of that and knowing,

I guess I sho could say this too. Was like, even within the first ten minutes of meeting Kylin the first time, she told me that the person she was most excited to meet was Connor s. And I appreciated

the honesty. I appreciated her telling me that, and I knew that Connor s still was slotted to come down to that beach at some point, And I knew that if I was on the beach with her and him at the same time, she wouldn't be able to fully explore that relationship that she's so clearly expressed that she was interested in exploring. And I knew that Connor want liked her, like I knew that they would have hit

it off. Aknew that they would have got along well, but they wouldn't, like I said, wouldn't have been able to fully explore that with my presence on the beach. Because of that, because of my knowledge of not wanting to be in a relationship, I was like you know what, it doesn't make sense for me to stay here. It doesn't make sense for me to allow your feelings to continue to grow and grow and grow for me when I know that I'm not going to get to the

place that you need me to be. I know that you're gonna like this other guy, and I know you've been wanting to meet him for a long time. So I'm just gonna bow out now allow you to explore that connection. I left, uh, and then obviously I regretted it. I thought about her a lot. I drove to the Grand Canyon. I reflected, I thought about things. I thought about how if I want to be in a relationship, I'm never going to be good at being in a relationship until I like practice and I try and I

work on these things. It's a it's a muscle. If you don't work out the muscle, it's not gonna get strong enough to ever right. Like I said in the show, if I wait until I'm perfect to be in a relationship, I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. I really do believe that. Um and so, I called one of the producers and I was like, hey, like I'm sad, like I don't. I don't. I think I made the wrong decision, and I guess we can we

can actually go back a little further. That night, on her birthday, I was talking to one of my friends and we were talking about next steps. They were like, well, like, what's going on, Like what are you doing here? Why are you here? You're making this You're you're not making this girl, but like this girl is like falling and

falling further for you and further for you. And I was like, you're right, like I can see this like getting to the end and me like absolutely crushing her because I've made it very clear don't want to be in a relationship, and so we concluded that now would be the best time for me to leave. Yeah, I think going into paradise with the idea that you're not going to leave in a relationship, I think is fine.

But once you're down there and you start developing a relationship with someone, then it would have been wrong of you to stay and continue that relationship if you still didn't see you ending up in a committed relationship after the show, and I was so said in my conviction of not leaving in a relationship that I wouldn't let anything stand in that way like that was what UH was paramount for me. I was like, I'm not leaving in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship.

I'm not leaving in a relationship no matter what my feelings developed like on the beach. And so the reason I'm sorry, But the reason I say that too that I don't think it's bad for anyone to go and not thinking they're gonna end up an relationship is be

is most of the time people are wrong. And I've noticed that so many times, either my friends in everyday life or going on the show say like, I'm never gonna leave in a relationship, I'm not going to date this person, so on and so forth, and then they go on a date with someone they're like, Wow, actually I don't really like this person, and they were wrong, right, That's why I say that, And it's better that I almost prefer it to UH to meet someone that doesn't

want to be in a relationship, because then when you enter into a relationship with them, you know, like they want to be in the relationship because it's you and not because they want to be in a relationship. It's almost more romantic in that sense, in my opinion. Anyways, I fly back, I go to Sandy, I fly back to San Diego. I called my producer friend. It's like, hey, hey, I think I made the wrong choice. I'm really upset. He says, just like, take some time to think about it.

If you wake up tomorrow morning and you still feel this way, give me a call and we'll fly you back down to Mexico. So I drove to the Grand Canyon, spent a couple hours out there, just like thinking about things. Driving obviously you can clear your mind. Um slept on it. Called him up the next morning. Actually that was the morning that I flew here. So I called him up and I was like, I regret my decision and I want to fly back and see if Klin will reconsider

and take me back. And so he goes, great, I got you a book on a flight. You're leaving tomorrow morning, eight am, whatever it is. So I come here, record a couple of podcasts with you guys, and fly back. And honestly, it's funny to say this because it worked out perfectly for me. It couldn't have worked out any better for me. I missed a wedding that I, you know, Chris and Crystal are great, didn't really want to go

to their wedding. Not only that multiple excess of mine were at that wedding that I just didn't want to see. Kaylin at the same time, got to explore a relationship with a guy that she was really interested, unencumbered of my presence, so she had didn't have to like have me around seeing you know, like worrying about my feelings while she could explore her relationship with him. I gotta come back and record two episodes of our podcast. Didn't miss a single week of our podcast. It just it

did it. It couldn't have worked out any better. Scheduling was on point that way. It literally blew my mind, like how the stars just aligned for all of that stuff. And obviously, like let's say I went back and I didn't get uh what I what I went for, which was the relationship with Kalin at least. And you kind of uh consoled me a lot on this before I left too. You were like, dude, just do it, and

like if she says no, at least you'll know. And if she says yes, then that's great because you want to be in a relationship but if you if she says no, like you know that you put yourself out there. You tried your best and it didn't work out, and you can have no regrets about that exactly. And MY big point when it was your decision, when you told me this, I thought it was a great idea for you to go back, was that you didn't want to go back into Paradise. You wanted to go and say, Kalin,

I want you to leave with me now. And I thought that was a big difference because if you went back down there and said, hey, I want to come back into Paradise and continue dating you, I don't know if that would have been a good look. And if I'm being honest, I don't know if she would have taken you back at that point. But I think you going into Paradise and saying I don't want to be back here. I just want you, and I want you to leave with me so we can see if this

works outside of here. It was I think that made her really believe that you were there only for her. It was it was a joint decision between me and production. It wasn't. It was one of the things where they were like, this is how it should be like, this is what you should do for the same reason that you just stated. Like, they were like, you need to

add scar to leave with you on the beach. You're not allowed to like stay on the beach and stay and I was like, that's fine, I understand the reasoning for that. Let's do that. That makes a lot of sense. Obviously, it has a lot more pressure for her because then she has to leave the beach. And yeah, Kalin agreed to leave the beach with me. And what's funny is like, obviously I ship my mustache off. I wore all look like damn stud I even I was talking to you

about this off air. When you walked down those stairs and you had that dark navy short sleeve button down on black, it was black. Excuse me, look navy black button down and just the hair slicked back long, luscious, it's at the perfect length, mustache shaved. You walked down the stairs. I was like, Dean could be coming for me and I would go with him. You know, I was dressed for my own funeral, That's why I was

wearing all black. But I showed up and actually when I was walking down the stairs onto the sand, it wasn't the normal entrance, which is like basically centered on the beach, right, like you're familiar with the one that you walked down when you're entering the beach. The first time, it was the one all the way at the south end of the beach, and so I had to walk around and I had this long, dramatic walk up to the bed, and like people were like pointing at me

and stuff like that. And as I was walking down the stairs, I was like, I don't think I should be doing this right now, Like this is a mistake. I regret being here because I was like terrified that I was there and she was going to say no, and like I wanted her say yes and it would just be embarrassing. But I kept reminding myself. I was like,

this is the right thing to be doing right now. Um. And so I talked to her, and I would say, almost immediately after talking to her the first time, like like I said on the show too, like I can typically get a pretty good beat on people and I have like a good way to read the room. Whatever. But I was still pretty split. Although I was more confident that she would leave with me than she wouldn't, they were still like there were still doubts in my

mind that she would stay. And my favorite moment in Paradise history, I think happened on this episode. So Connor is sitting on the day bed with a couple of people and one of those people are Christina and this wasn't this episode his last episode, and Connor was like, I think she's gonna stay with me, like I don't think she's gonna leave a Dean. And then Christina looks

over at Connor and says, have you met Dean? And she goes and he goes no, and she goes okay, And it was just like that moment where like Christina, who's been through it, who has day to do in the past, knows how charming you are. It was just like such a real moment where else like that is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I did. I chuckled and I saw that because it was just so good. Okay, as if like you're dead man walking bro. I saw that. I was like, I

was like kind of weirdly complimentary of Christine. It was the most It was the biggest comment anybody could possibly say his Connor is a good looking guy has a lot going for hims, very sweet, very nice. I like Connor a lot, but like in that moment, it was liked him a lot until I started talking to about my van, and then I didn't like him at all. I saw that it was that there was like a little twitter. I thought that was a joke, but I can't tell. Well he I mean in the episode he's

just saying Deans a can loser. He used to be like get out of here, which I'm sure like he was being fed those lines. Yeah, that's probably prompted too, so you never know if that's actually how he's feeling or if he's just being prompted. What's funny is I met him in person at the reunion show chairs next week and he was like, dude, I want to see your vein, Like it sounds so sick, like you live on an awesome lifestyle. I think a lot of people

say dumb stuff when they're angry. I egos being bruised exactly. We've all been jerks in that moment, so like, doesn't he shouldn't say those things? Like he was acting like a jerk in that moment. But it's understand as a viewer because I've obviously never been on Paradise, but as a viewer, was it only one week that you were on Paradise and then you decided to leave? Because for people who are watching, and really feels like an eternity

that you're on the beach together. I think the first time upon my first arrival of my first date with Kalin to me breaking up with her on her birthday was six days of the beach, so not very long. Granted you're spending every waking moment with each other because you have nothing really else to do. I would say like five to six days, maybe maybe five is more accurate. And then obviously when I was back on the beach,

I was on the beach for like an hour. I had a conversation with Kaitlin, she left, had the conversation with Connor, she came back, had the conversation with me, She went back and had the conversation with Connor, and then she left with me. I don't remember the specific logistics of that, but I do remember seeing from a distance she was like like I talked to her, which I was kind of surprised she even took the time to come talk to me, talk with me, and she

made it clear after the fact. She was like, yeah, like I wasn't gonna come talk to you, Like I wasn't even going to entertain the conversation with you because I was just like still piste off at you. But then she said that she saw that I shaved the mustache and she was like, okay, cool, I can talk to him. And then and then she goes back and she like pulls Connor aside to go talk to him, and Connors like walking away shirtless, and I like see like more back muscles than I've ever seen on a

person in my life. And I was like, man, that guy is literally a hundred yards away from him, and I saw his muscles so finely and so acutely. I was like, this guy is There's no way she's gonna leave with me. She's gonna leave with this guy. So it was like this weird back and forth and I was so confused and I wasn't sure what was going to happen, and whal Kaitlin was talking to Connor, Christina

came over to talk to me. And when Christina came over to talk to me, I was like, just just you have no reason, you have no no point being here, like, you shouldn't be here talking to me right now. So I was like, I don't know if you can tell by watching the episode, but I was like super dismissive and very short with Christina being there because it just didn't make sense for I didn't involve her and she was involving her. She was inserting herself and something that

didn't involve her exactly. And like, yes, of course Christina and I have dated before, so maybe she knows better than anyone on that beach what it's like to date me. But I just didn't see the purpose of her coming over. And it would have been weird if she was having a conversation about potentially leaving with a guy and you went over and talk to Christina was and started like her, it would it would be it would, yeah, it would.

So I didn't like it, very weird. So if you saw if you saw me being short or dismissive, that's why I just like it didn't make sense to me why she was there. I didn't I went there to talk to Kilin. I didn't go there and to talk to Christina. So I just didn't. I didn't want to be talking to her, you know what, I mean, I get what Christina was trying to do in a sense, but at the same time, it just it wasn't her place. Um. And then what happened. So how did it feel once

Klin said I'll leave with you? Um? It felt obviously it felt great. I got I got what I wanted, uh, which is always a good feeling. I think that she got what she wanted, you know, going all the way back, Caitlin deemed me a year and a half ago to try and meet up for coffee. Obviously like nothing transpired between them and going to Paradise, but like she expressed interest a long time ago, and so for her, I'm not going to speak for her, but I'm I guess

I am right now. She wanted to, she wanted to me, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Like she's getting what she wanted to. And so it was like it was a it was a weird like fairy taleish romantic ending to a weird way of going about dating each other.

And yes, like maybe being able to remove myself from Paradise for a couple of days and like drive and like explore my thoughts and like talk to my friends and see what they thought it allowed me to like have more clarity and perspective on a situation, to let me go back and be like, look, I'm not going to tell you that I have all the answers to this relationship. It's probably gonna be difficult and we're probably

gonna stumble through a lot of this stuff. We're not very similar in a lot of ways, but I want to try, and if you're willing to try with me, I think that way you should give it a go. Yeah, I mean I I think the biggest part about jumping into a relationship is knowing that you're never going to have the answers. You know, a commitment is choice. You're choosing to be someone, excuse me, you're choosing to be

with someone. And so I think a lot of people like yourself, Deem, sometimes when you feel like you don't have all the answers, or if there is a small amount of doubt in your head, that immediately makes you run away because that scares you. But the fact is most likely in every relationship there will be those moments. I mean, you're only human, and so I think it's really I thought it was when you first told me

you were gonna do it. I loved it and I still love it, and I think it was the right decision. And I think it was the best thing for you and Kalin because you never you would have never known what could have possibly happened had you not gone back down to Paradise. And look at you now. Now you guys are together dating. It's been two months, and I

thought about it too. So a couple of my good friends removed from, well, one good friend from the show, one of my best friends removed from Like that doesn't that wasn't part the part of the show. Ever. I talked to both of them for like quite a while, like a couple of hours while I was driving, you know, obviously just what you do is just driving talk. And both of them were like, don't go back, man, Like, it doesn't make sense for you to go back. Why

would you go back. You can just d m her and talk to her when she gets off the show. And I was thinking about I was like, well, no, Like I saw how I saw a how interested she was in meeting Connor the first time, like she expressed that to me. B I saw how quickly our relationship grew over such a short amount of time, similar amount of similar time frame for her and him, and so like chance they leave the show in a relationship together.

And so I was like, yeah, I could wait until the show's over and done filming, but she's probably gonna be dating someone. And then it's like, also, if a relationship started on TV, I think it almost kind of makes more sense for me to come back and be like, this is like this sort of unfinished business and we're gonna it started here, so we need to finish it

here as well. There'd be like a lot of unanswered questions if it if it happened off, it would be like a much more tricky and hairrier And so I was like, the only logical thing for me to do right now is to go back. Yeah, and the most valuable thing we have is time. Why waste it? Why waste time in you thinking, Oh, I'll just I'll wait till she gets back and see what happens, And I was a lot can happen. It was it was like it was like fifty for a long time too. I

was like, yeah, I'll just wait. I even sent her a long I sent her a long message on Instagram actually, and then I was like that, I'm sorry language I said that, and uh, and yeah, enjoyed it. I enjoyed when you told her that you're you wanted to stop running away from good things in your life. And I'm like, this is a side of Dean that we all love, that we all see and now he's starting to see it in him too. And I remember when we did

that one episode when we were in San Francisco. I had like a bunch of notes about when you left, and I was like, oh my god. And then for me, I think when it stunk for me, I remember who said it on the episode. Someone was like, oh, that's Deaned. That's Dean though, like they it was like when you had left and you had broke her heart and whatever. I don't know if I don't remember who had said it, but anyway, I was like, I hate the fact that

you gave yourself that reputation. I hate the fact that you allow other people to talk about you like that when we all know, the people who know you and love you all know that you are so worthy of this love and so worthy of a person who's going to stick by you and leave a dating show with you when you know she was interested in someone else too. So it like you said, everything did happen for a

reason and all worked out in the way that it did. Um, but I hope to give yeah, I know, I just hope the takeaway for you was that you are deserving of this. I appreciate that, Vanessa, thank you. I don't really know how to properly respond to that, but I did make a point. I even told calin this after

we left. I was like, honest, because we left with maybe like six or seven days of filming remaining on the filming schedule, and part of me was like, if she doesn't if she didn't want to leave the beach because she wanted to stay to get more screen time quote unquote or whatever, you know what I mean, then that's all the answer that I would need anyways, because she wanted more screen time, then she's not the girl

that I want to be doing. Anyway. I think by you going in Paradise, you created so much clarity from the situation that would not have been there had you simply sent a d M. When she got back, I'm so surprised that production even allowed me to return, to be honest, they were they were like obviously encouraging of it. They're like yeah, if you like the girl, come back and get her. But I was like, that's crazy to me that you guys are even letting me do this.

Why it's it's drama. Who are you talking about? It's good drama. But when have you ever seen a contestant leave and then come back? I'm just saying it's I don't think that's ever really happened before. When did you ever see a girl in a relationship with another girl? Was a lot of firsts in this uh and season. We're pioneers. Um so yeah, So we left together and then we got back, spent a couple of nights in the van, and then talk about all that stuff right now, right,

we can talk about whatever you want. And then we traveled to the thing about me and Kitlin is like we're so different, we'll have some relationship. Been since you

left Paradise together. I mean, it's been great. So it's like, obviously it's been it's been turbulent at times, like she's been through her fair share of the drama this season, and that kid sucks having to be part of that third from like a third party perspective, but obviously I'm supporting her through that and I'm like trying to remind her that there's a lot of good that's come from the season. Oh yeah, yeah, I know, we're talking about I got it, um, And so like it's hard to

see her like handle lot of stuff. And obviously I'm going to bat for her because she's my girlfriend, and um kind of feels like forever ago. It does feel like forever go. And I kept telling her. I was like, people are gonna forget about this in like a week and two weeks. I know, but in that moment, that's

not what you want to hear. In that moment when you're going through that drama, it's like you think everyone's reading about it, you think everyone's talking about you, and yeah, like BB five percent of the followers that are following you, no one talk are talking about it. But that's not what we want to hear. And it's tough to be rational in that moment because yes, I agree, everybody forgets about it in two weeks, but in that moment, it's

your world. No, I agree, I understand, but it's not Yeah, but you're right, but it's not easy. And so we've we've like traveled a bunch together. Individuals were pretty different, like she we're working on her adventurous side, you know. So it's like it's it's been great, but just as humans were a little bit different, and so it's just as like the discovery phase of like what do you like? What don't you like? What can we do? What can't

we do? Yeah, exactly, it's fun and every couple is going to have their disconnects, Like every couple is not going to mesh well perfectly together and like sink right into each other's lives like I like to live in a van and rock climb and she, you know, lives in West Hollywood and likes to hang out with their friends, which is great, And I just like it's a learning process to learn how to be supportive and present for

her and vice versa her for me. Um, but things are going well, Like it's it's you know, I think I went back to the show to basically show that I'm committed to figuring it out. Yeah, and I think you'll learn. I mean, trust me, you've been in relationships before. With committed relationships comes compromise and sacrifice. But that's not necessarily I feel like there's a stigma in those two words that it has to be a negative thing when

it really doesn't. And that's something I've discovered over the past almost two years now, uh of really learning that compromises can be a positive thing. I don't know it kind of I think it shows a different side of me than I've really ever known before, if that makes sense. I'm trying to think of the compromises that we've made

for each other. Well, what I'm talking about is, like you current, like you want to live in a van and travel and do all these things, but they're gonna be times where she needs you to be somewhere and you have to be there because you're her boyfriend. And so that's something to me that's a compromise. But it shows stability, it shows uh responsibility, you know. And so I, I don't know, I look at that as a positive rather than a negative. Um, so hold on to clear

the air the air for a second. So Dean air mundy deed unclear? No it's not. But I'm gonna ask you a question right now, and I just need a verbal yes or verbal note. Dean Deanie babies Dean Ungler. Since the beginning of this part cast help I suck at dating with Dean Anglert a year and a half ago. You've been a single man. Are you in a relationship? Yes, yes, But I've been in a relationship before on this podcast, Leslie, Oh, Leslie, damnit?

I forgot about Leslie. Well, this is the last time committed. Still exciting, and I have a girlfriend. I will say that we've I don't know if I should cheerless or not, but well, we've taken the biggest step I've ever taken in a relation. You say that, Wait, really, and wait, what's the biggest step? The biggest step I've ever taken in a relationship. And I don't know if you don't even know if you and actually have taken this step yet. I mean, I can hope. So I don't think Vanessa

and Josh have taken it either. I'm sure Mark and his wife and Eastern and his wife have. But you guys in a thruble or something? What's going on? Kyleen and I, as of yesterday are on a cell phone plan together? Oh my god, Wow, commitment. It's a two year commitment. Two years you signed on the dotted line. Huh, so it's uh, we're both on Verizon together, dude, that's a more of a commitment than proposing to someone. Yeah, so that's a big step, Verizon. But that's how are

you on a plan with the I'm not. Actually, I'm not on plan with my wife. You're not the heck up? Actually wait really wow? Wait? What how are you? How are you not on the same plan? Takes care of me? Okay, that's well, Dean, congratulations, I'm being on the same phone bill. I keep telling it. I'm like, what happens when we break up? Because that's gonna be weirds just turning on

a dark mood. So yeah, I don't really know how much of it I can share again because we still have the reunion episode next week, which we're we we won't talk about next week, maybe talk about in Vegas the following week. I don't know if maybe she's gonna get upset with me for sharing this stuff because technically we still beginning. Can you have her on and you guys talk about it together. I'm never going to have her as a guest on this podcast. She's coming on.

That's unegotiable. The clock that's non negotiable. I'll side into one. If you really wanted that to happen, why would you ever say that on air, it's non negotiable. Go friends come in here. Yeah, exactly, and they're past Sorry language, that's not that's not why your past girlfriends. Why would

you not want her on here? I don't know. I just like I don't know other people from the outside looking in judging a relationship that I'm happy, and so it's like I'm just thinking to judge it even more if you say on air I don't want her on the podcast, I don't care. I don't want her on the podcast. We're gonna fly actually on the podcast yet know, but she's more than welcome. It's all because it's too much Ashley and Jared. You know, we need some separation here.

The point to other story is it's non negotiable. She's never going to be a guest on this podcast, and that will have her on when you're not on, it'll be Jared and I and Kaitlin. Sure, I guess I don't mind that. I just don't want us to be together. We just fly to Montreal and have in that room with Vanessa. There's nothing you could do about one on one girl talk. I could certainly just walk out the door. Um, what were we getting to there anyways. Yeah, yeah, so

that's basically the extent of the relationship. I'm sure I forgot a bunch of things. I've been working on clearly communicating my thoughts and ideas more, but I still struggle with it. So if you have any more questions about it, please email us help. I suck at dating at iHeart media dot com. I would love to answer questions about the relationship. If you have any questions about Jared and Ashley's wedding or honeymoon, help I suck or just our

relationship as a married couple. I think that could be very relatable as a newly husband and wife. I love it. I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com. The same thing with Vanessa to Vanessa is currently in relationship. We're all in relationships, yeah the relationships. Only one of them has a shared cell phone plan. I wonder what I'm just kid anyway, Yeah, if you have if you have any questions about Vanessa and Josh's relationship, what it's like

dating Canada, Canada, Verse America. What could be the differences in dating? You know, some eat poot tine, some eat ptch up on their French fries. I Suck a Dating at iHeart Media dot com. We want your questions. We want to be able to answer them, and you know, we sometimes pull those over things like unintentionally, but like if you have a thought or an idea that we talked about that you want us to expand upon. I Suck a Dating at iHeart Media dot com, email us

and will answer them on air. Yeah, we always love feedback. We love the Facebook group Helped by Second Dating podcast. You can follow us on social media on Instagram, Help I Second d Jared recently took over the reins for the help I SUCU Dating Instagram page and it's been

doing very well. I think I gained a couple hundred followers. Um. But I thought that was a great post because I found him and his Broncos and then me and my Patriots, and then I was like, or are you like Vanessa and you can give a rats ask and you just live your best life. And then it was a picture with you in the red nose. Yeah, that was amazing. You're doing a great job of manzing. I I need

that more support. I'm not gonna lie. Um, okay, so we're gonna answer one email above via listener but before we do that, we're gonna take one quick break and diveright into it. I should probably go all right, we are back and we have a listener email that our beloved Mark is going to read for us. So nice. It's anonymous. She says, I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. He won't say I love you

over text message. He was the first to say it out loud, and when he first said it, I felt it might have been too soon, but I said it back anyway. I'm comfortable saying it now. He has no problem saying it's me. We're together, but apparently he has an issue with typing it out over a text. Do you think this is something I should do up? Or should I let this go? Hi, I'm a red flag. It's very nice to meet you. What do you think it is? Do you think he's hiding or yes, I

think he's hiding something, Vanessa. Imagine Josh coming up to you every day and saying I love you, I love you, I love you, and then you go to text and saying I love you, and he's like, well, I can't write it in text message. She's not saying that. I don't know what the conversation is like this he just not saying and she never approached him about and it never brought it up, or he just I think she should bring it up. I don't think she should bring

I think this is fine. Honestly. Well, it says that apparently he has an issue with typing it over text. I'm assuming she's saying that because they have talked about it. Yeah, that's weird. No, I don't think so. I think I'm just judging by how it was read. I think that he just says it in person and he doesn't type it, And because of that, I don't think there's really any harm and be like, hey, like why don't you just say you love me on text but you say it

in person? Right? Yeah, I don't mind her saying that she has to sorry. I assume they already had this conversation. Maybe, I mean, maybe they did. I just from reading it, it doesn't it doesn't sound like it to me. I don't think that she has anything about it. I think she's looking for our advice. First look. At the very end, she says, do you think this is something I should bring up with him? Okay, so maybe bring up Maybe

there's a reason. Maybe maybe his el button is broken on his phone or something, probably a really silly thing. I don't think this is a major red flag. I don't If he's telling you he loves you, I think that's good. I don't think he's worried about other people seeing it in his phone. I think that's a stress.

I agree. Well. The only reason I initially thought it was a bad sign is if she if he verbally said, oh, I have a tough time texting it, because then you just don't want any ink, you know, which makes me question, why would you not want anybody to see that? I'll bet you when you bring it up with the guy, he's probably gonna be like, I didn't even realize. I probably didn't even realize that I was probably saying, well, now I'm a schmuck. I think he's might just make

him uncomfortable. There's something the sweetness to it that he might not be cool with. I don't know. It could be a stupid reason, and I don't think I think he's totally oblivious to the fact that he's not even saying it. Maybe a text message, and once you bring it up with him, he'll be like, oh more cognizant of the idea and say I love you via text. Yeah, but I don't think it's a real quick Laura has

a question for Dean. She has a thirty one year old son who is interested in pursuing a nomadic life. Problem is he has trouble getting off the hamster We love working a full time job all day, pettycabbing in Boston at night. There you go, Jared to make ends meet in an expensive city. Plus he has to pay off his college loans. How can you launch a nomadic lifestyle and still make ends meet? I got the I got the reason, I got the secret sauce right here. Boy,

just go on a bachelorette, simple as that. Uh. I honestly, I don't really have any advice for him, because that's honestly the only reason I was able to do it is because I was always kind of stuck on that hamster wheel as well, living paycheck to paycheck. And then I went on the bachelorette, and I swear to god, I hit the lottery and started to be able to do things that I wanted to do, and one of

those was moving too evanful time. I know, it's like a kind of an un uh conventional way of doing that, and like there really isn't much advice to be It's like I hit the lottery, basically, you can't give it some of advice on how to hit the lottery. You know, lucky. I got very very lucky. Um. And it sucks because I gotta ask that question often, like via Instagram and Twitter and stuff, and they're like, hey, like, I'm this is my lifestyle. I want to live more like you.

How do I do it? And I can't really answer, and just because I don't really have an answer for them, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean it sucks that you gotta kind of prioritize things and figure out what you want in life. Because if you do want to try to make ends meet and save up and potentially buy a house one day, then you might have

to continue what you're doing. But if you really don't see that as a priority in your main priority is living your life right now and traveling and see all the places that you want to see, then you might not make as much money as you hope. But I think that's the best way I could best advice I could give you right now is to try to Uh, figure out what your end goal is and work towards that because unfortunately, we're all going to leave this earth

at some point. So you want to make sure you do the things that you want most because I think, you know, hopefully, many many many many many many years from now, Uh, when you're on your deathbed and looking back on your life, I don't think, um, you know, pettycabbing and Boston is probably gonna be the first one that comes to mind. So, you know, money is very important in this life, but it is. But also we

all have a different definition of what successes. So maybe success for him is his level of happiness and freedom, and maybe he just needs a break a one year or two year thing and then get back into the hustle and bustle of a nine to five jobs. So I think it's good advice. We're gonna end this podcast, but I'm gonna end up a quote one that I found just the other day that my friend posts on our Instagram, and I think it's appropriate view this email

that we just received. It is short. It says, one life, just one. Why aren't we running like we are on fire towards our wildest dreams? And so for Laura to your son, I think you should tell him that to be like, look, if you want to do this, do it because you only get one life. As Dared said, we're not going to be here forever. And if you fail, then you fail, and there's nothing wrong with that. And like you said, failure is it's looked upon in different reasons.

If you go after the things you want in life and you don't achieve them, that's not failure. To me, failure would be not trying that all. That'll do it. For this week's episode of Help to Practice What I preach, Thank you guys for tuning in. Big thank you to Zip Recruiter and all of the other sponsors on this podcast. Big thank you to Tory Mark and Eastern are wonderful producers. Big thank you to Jared for getting married and providing

content for us for any time, any time. But Asa, thank you for skyping all the way in from Montreal. And big thank you to me for being so vulnerable and just wondering, looking and funny. Next week we have a couple of great guests. We got Nieve Shulman from Empty Fish. We have Nicole Lappin, who is an incredible author and she will be talking about her new book,

Becoming Superwoman. Um. And then after that we're going to be head into Vegas and we're gonna be recording life from there the Blackjack Table, so be sure to tune. And then when maybe we might just suck a little bit less, follow Help I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast