Resting Betch Face with Jordana Abraham

innovation officer of Betch's Media, which is huge. Everybody knows Betches. Uh. It is Geordana Abraham, Geordanna, how are you. I'm great, Thanks for having me. I'm I'm excited to be here talking about dating, you know. I mean, well, you have all the good things. I mean, I feel like if there's anybody that's gonna talk about dating, it's the it's one of the co founders of Batches. Uh. What you

guys do there is incredible. I mean I have some stats right here that you guys, You guys have an audience, a growing community, if you will, of forty three million people. And it's only just growing after that. How does that make you feel, like knowing that you created something that's this ginormous in this chinormous uh, this impactful. Um, it's very surreal. You know. I started Badges with my two co founders about eleven years ago out of our college apartment.

So it's definitely and we were just we didn't start it to be a business. We just started it kind of just like messing around in our apartment because we had a lot of free time. Um. And it's kind of incredible to see where it's gone and come in the past eleven years and that we have this whole company and that we can make people laugh every day and just form a community for them. Did you ever

see it and get getting to this point? Like I think, Um, a good uh uh parallel or analogy would be something like barstool Sports, if you don't mind me comparing, Like I look at Dave Portnoy and like how he talks about barstool Sports and where it started and where it is now and what you guys like you just said, we were like, yeah, we just started like in our house talking and then now it's grown into this multi

million dollar platform for sure. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of um of parallels, and I think it almost in some ways, I think it's great to start a business not trying to start a business, because you really are focused on just like having fun in the content. And I think that that really is what appeals to people when you know what I mean, you're not like immediately figuring out how to monetize or how to make money. Like we were just seniors in college just kind of

like trying to make sense of the world around us. Um, And it really just naturally came out of that, and then you know, we were like it got some traction and we were like this seems better than getting a real job, so let's just keep doing this. Yeah. Um. And it's like, you know, I think that you see on Instagram everything looks like it's like overnight success or

like really linear linear progress. But like the truth of the matter is like there's a lot of highs and lows and it's not really like it's not just like everything you do is a success. Everything you see online like there's usually like five things that didn't work out behind it. Um. So it has been a journey, and uh, it's great to be here and looking back and it's just pretty incredible. Yeah, did you ever have a moment

where you thought it wasn't gonna work? Totally? A lot of times, I think, especially in those early years, um, we weren't really making that much money, and I remember thinking, um, you know, should I just get a job from someone who's just going to pay me a steady salary because this is very you know, unpredictable, and I have like a rent to pay and I don't want to live in my parents house anymore. Um, So there was definitely

moments that I thought of that. But thankfully, you know, the three of us are friends and we've always been able to really encourage each other and sort of like get past those moments and stick it out. And now it all worked out. So glad we're glad we didn't well. Yeah, And the reason I asked is because as a as a new business owner, my wife and I just opened

up a coffee shop and lounge. I mean, of course, there are like so many nights where I'm like it's gonna fail and I'm going to ruin my family and it's all going to go to ship. Um, And obviously I guess my question is and I feel like a lot of business owners go through similar situations to that. So I wanted to really bring up the idea that, like you said, it's all not just glits and glamor, and it doesn't all it's not just always successful, like

you had probably a lot of moments. You've created one of the biggest companies, you know, in the world, I would argue and and then, um, you know you. I'm sure you had moments that you were like, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not sure if this is gonna work out. And I think that's important for a lot of people to hear. And I think that, like you, uh, younger people a lot of the times have like a very skewed vision of what it looks like because you only see the things that work out.

So you just kind of assume some people like have it figured it out and other people don't. And I think everyone is kind of like trying to do the best they can and it's not like this person successful in this person isn't. It's kind of like you only can compare yourself to yourself and just keep going and trying as hard as you can. So you host a podcast called You Up which first is fantastic. Now you host it with Jared Freed, is it Freed it right? Yes?

The other Yes, the other Jared, the way funnier Jared, and the way cooler Jared. I met him briefly one time. He was super nice. And obviously I watched his Bachelor recaps where he's screaming into the phone and it's it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And that's not hyperpoly. I you with Ashley all the time, and um, so I want to ask Genevieve is on the podcast today and and she's single, recently off the most recent season of The Bachelor. So georgana, what the

hell is dating like? Because I'm married now, I've been married for a few years, so I'm out of the dating game. What the hell is dating like? In two and how can Genevieve navigate this world? It's a very broad question. That's like just a huge umbrella. And then you go, here's exactly here's what to do. Um. I mean to be honest, I am also married. I got married in November. Um, and congratulations to you by the

way on your baby like huge, also huge. I haven't even gotten a chance that I'm a huge Bachelor fan, huge plant fan of you and Ashley and you know,

the whole the whole thing. I've been a watcher. So we used to do recaps on batch is actually, um, like the three of us, the three founders, used to write them ourselves and we would like write them and then send them to each other and edit and then we spent probably spent like six hours writing these Bachelor recaps in the beginning of Batches a week and it was like our favorite thing to do. UM. So huge

fans of the franchise and you guys. Um. In terms of dating, bringing back to that question, I think, Um, you know, I haven't necessarily been in the game in a bit, but I we What we do on you Up is we answer emails from daters across the country of all different ages and uh, you know, all different relationships status is, And I mean it really depends on like what you're looking to get out of, like what your dilemma is. Do you feel like you have a

specific dilemma? No, I don't. I think I'm just trying, like I haven't found the one, like I since I was a kid, I've been saying I want a family, I want kids. I want to be a wife, and it just hasn't marked out. Like I think if I had found my person years ago, I would be married right now, hopefully with a kid. But it's just I

don't know, is it. Do you feel like the guy is that you're seeing that you're dating or not just not matches for you, or do you feel like you have like three month ors that kind of like fizzle out, or like what do you feel like is like the common theme within common theme in the past, like three years living in l A's just the guys are just not I don't click with them after such an East Coaster and it's so different out there, and the guys are very different, and they're all like they just don't

want to settle down, and I want to. So I think maybe that's like a problem. So are you finding this out that they're not looking to settle down on like date date one two, or you like dating them for a while. No, I won't even continue No, I'll find that out on date one or two. Okay, Well I want to continue on with them, because that's just a waste of my time. I've learned. One good thing is I've learned to not waste my time. If I know it's not someone, I'm not going to keep going

on dates with them. I think that's a huge thing to learn, and I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for that, because there's a lot of people, my my former single self included, that used to just spend a lot of time just trying to like make everything whole thing work despite all the signs in front of me that like the person was like not going to be interested in something serious, or that they weren't

going to be like looking for a commitment. And I think if you can figure out how to like wead that out a lot earlier, which it sounds like you um have figured out, you save yourself so much time and then it just becomes really like a numbers game. Um. But do you feel like you're you're kind of like disillusioned with the dating scene or you, um like, how you like, how do you do you get excited to go on dates? Or are you kind of like it

feels like a chore? No, because I think it's been so long that I've enjoyed going on a date because like usually it's not great. But um, I mean it's not I haven't been on a date. I haven't dated like really since I got off the show, but before I was trying like dating apps and stuff, and I never got excited about going like meeting, like setting a plan, getting ready going to meet someone just to see if I like them. But that's also on me because I

haven't been very proactive and trying to date. So yeah, I think we see that a lot too, and like the emails from our audience on you Up and that kind of thing where it can feel like not fun and kind of tiring, and then you're just not in this like positive mood about it. And we like to say there's almost like a spectrum of being a data

um where you want to be in between it. So there's like the there's the people who were like a little naive and delusional and every guy there they meet there like he's perfect and like they're ignoring all the signs so that they're not particularly interested. And then on the other side of the spectrum, there's like that kind of like bitter like I've been around the block, like he's not going to call, like a little bit negative attitude, and I think they're both kind of not great in

their own way. And the goal I think is to be somewhere in the middle where you're sort of like realistically optimistic. But I think if you're not having fun, I would take a break personally, because like I feel like if you're showing up to a date and you're not excited to be there and you're not even if again, and I think you have to have like pretty low expectations, Like the expectation could just be like an interesting conversation with a new person that I don't know that like

might be able to stay something kind of funny or interesting. Um. And I can see why if you're going on for those a week you're like, this isn't fun anymore. Um. But I think the idea would be like to take a break to go back when you're like I miss going on dates. I'm like a little excited at the idea of like meeting someone new. Um. So that's what I would recommend, thank you. Yeah. No, And I actually I don't know if I said something wrong, but I

actually haven't been going on dates. I'm going on for even one day a week. Um, So I think I've taken too much of a break. Now now I'm not like I'm like, okay, well I'm not used to going on dates, so now I have to get myself to start trying. I think because I kind of have the opposite problem where I'm just I haven't been on any and I have no desire to. But so the idea

of a date doesn't like excite you. I think it's just because I don't know if I liked if I meet someone out and I enjoy like talking to them for a little and then they asked me how to d I think I would be excited for that. But it's just like the dating apps. When I don't know people face to face and I'm just like messaging them to get ready and go out to meet them, it's

not the most exciting for me. I don't like it because you can't tell the I always say, like, you can't really tell chemistry until you're like in person, like you could take It's really almost like you could talk. You could tax someone for a whole week and think it's going well, and then you see them with five minutes you know, like it's just you don't it's not

a vibe. So I totally understand that. Yeah, and then it's like tough because I don't want to be meeting I don't want to go on four dates a week. So yeah, I think I think technology is just ruining relationships and love and ruining life. Well, I I agree, I'm being facetious, but I agree and disagree a little bit one because I think in a lot of way, a lot of ways, it helps you can connect with

people you've never connected with before. You can date people like you go on a dating app, right, like back in forty fifty years ago, it was like you just dated whoever was in your neighborhood to wherever you work with, and now you can like date people from all over

the world. Having said that, the problem is, I feel that like sometimes in this instant gratification world that we have, like if you don't get like a like a non instant gratification, but like I feel like people just like almost romanticized love a little bit too much, which, as a guy coming from the Bachelor franchise, is a little hypocritical, But I digress, because sometimes it's not going to be good and sometimes it's gonna be bad, and I feel

like sometimes people just forget that if it's not always good, then they feel like, oh, well, then this obviously isn't the person for me, and I haven't met the one yet. It's like, well, maybe you have, but maybe there's just certain things that you need to work through. And it's a balance, right because if the if the bad outweighs the good, then of course, like yeah, break up. If you're not having fun, then get the hell out of

the relationship. But I also feel like I've heard from so many of my younger friends where they're like, oh, everything is great, but there's this one thing and I don't know if I can get past it. And it's like I just feel like there's always gonna be a one thing, Like there's always going to be that one

thing no matter who you meet. Totally agree, um, And I think you know, we live in a it's only marriage has only really been about like romantic love for even probably like seventy or so years if that, And so before that, I think people weren't getting married or looking for dating or meeting people looking for someone to fill every single box that they have like they are now. Like I think now people assume there's someone out there that's completely perfect, and that's just not the case. Like

we're not perfect. People we meet aren't perfect. The goal is to not find someone who like checks every single box. It's someone who you can get along with, who shares your values. But if you have certain things that you don't that you aren't a eye to eye on, it doesn't mean that you need to throw in the towel. I think that, like, you can have many people in your life whople feel all sorts of different needs for you. I'm curious to see where marriage goes over the next

seventy years. So just because like you said, I think marriage has evolved. It's changed like it used to be for social status or for for protection, and you would marry someone because it's just like the way life went. That's how you survived. And then obviously it has changed now into more loving and soulmates and uh, you want to like commit to someone for the rest of your life.

And I'm curious now with obviously like the VORTS rates going up and people being single single later in life, if it's going to evolve in another seventy years where people are just not getting married as much anymore because they're like, well, I do want to commit to someone, but I'm not sure if I want to commit for my entire life. And I also don't know if I want to bring paperwork into it. So I'm curious if like the the the like the culture around malle marriage.

I sounded like the priest from that movie. Oh my god, what's the movie with Carl Yules, he's the princess bride. Marriage. Yes, yes, marriage. It sounds familiar. But I don't remember what you're saying, dude. I'm sorry, I do. I remember that you did a good impression. I remember that, Thank you. I appreciate it. Marriage. Georgiana was telling Genevieve earlier that, uh, now that I own the coffee shop, like I hiart a lot of college kids, there's a generational gap, like I feel. So

I'm not old, but man, do I feel old. Ashley was there last night too, and she's like, I don't think I've ever felt older in my life, just being surrounded by like twenty two year olds who just they

think they think like Taylor Swift is old. It's so funny. Um. Yeah, I mean, I think the new gen Z has a whole new set of of thoughts on tradition and and anything that's really like traditional or like And I think it's good in a way because I think they're really reevaluating these these practices that were put in place in a time or it doesn't really make necessarily the same amount of sense that it did before. But I do think that there is there are many benefits to I'm

pro marriage. I do think there are many benefits to marriage and long term relationships. And I don't think it's about like you said, I don't really believe in soulmates. I don't even really believe in the one. But I do believe in finding a partner that you that you love and that you enjoy spending time with, and that you can see has the qualities to like raise children

and and be a good partner long term. Because I do think the beauty of marriage, and the thing that won't ever really get outdated is the idea of like being able to go through life with someone and experience all those highs and lows with the same person. And

I think that that's like a bond. You can't really find anywhere else someone to to to seeing like the really bad parts and the really good parts, And they were there twenty years ago when you were doing this, and now they're in this phase of life with you, like it's a partner to really go through all the phases with. And I think that like anything else, it

probably has its it's points when it's not great. And then I think if you can like kind of get through those and you can stay with that person and you can do you get to know them even probably better through those phases, then it just makes that bond much stronger. And that I don't I don't think it'll marriage will go away completely ever, because I do think that's just like a huge important thing in society and just in for your own mental health. I think that

relationships you're like a humans are like dependent people. They're codependent and that's not a bad thing. And I think that like the idea of it is is still something that shouldn't be discarded. Yeah, I think you said it really well. Damn when did you start matches? I started betches my senior year in college, um, with my two roommates in all right, here's another big umbrella question. I

was dating changed since then? I was dating changed? Well, when I was in college age there were no dating apps, so obviously yeah, big change. Um. And I remember when Tinder was launched in like what was it. So it's the year after we graduated and we were like, what the hell is this and every single part it was like a brunch and like every single person had downloaded this app and it was like so fun. We were all just like swiping away. We were like, this is

the coolest thing that's ever existed. And now, um, ten years later it's we're probably like like, like I thought, you know what I mean, it's like the novelty kind of feels like it is more and off for that, but the idea of it at the time was like so fun. And I do agree with you with what you were saying before, Jared about how um, you know, dating apps aren't all bad. Um, every generation probably thinks their generation is the worst to date in. But I

do think there's so many benefits of dating apps. There's so many ways to meet people you would have never met in a different way. And also just like screen it's it's great to be able to like screen people in certain ways before you commit to them, and dating apps give you a lot of information. Um, So I

think if you use them well. And we actually had a guest Um worked for a match group, Dr Helen Fisher on our podcast, and she was like, the best way to use dating apps is introduction apps, So they're not you shouldn't be like dating on them. You should just use them and not be speaking to any more than like six people at a time. I think she said six was like the max, because you can't really get to know people if you're having thirty different conversations

on an app. You need to like keep it to a more narrow pool so that you can get off the app, meet them in person, and then find out if there's actually connection. Yeah, there's only so much multitasking one person can do. Exactly that point, because I have noticed that one of the dating apps will actually the only one I'm on Riya. They they actually don't let

you have too many connections because of that reason. They don't want you to not meet any of the people and just have like thirty matches and not talk to any of them. And I have found that with other dating apps, like I'll have so many matches, I don't know what to do, and I can't meet up with all of them, so then they kind of end up not meeting up with any of them. So keeping it like smaller and focusing on like a few people. I

think it's smart totally. Um. I heard Jared I think was on Right at one point and he was telling me, um that no one speaks right. They're just like it is kind. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. App Um. If anything, it is like you'll just say high and then it's like do you want to meet for coffee something like that. But no one, it's not like you have like a long cars I've never had a long conversation on there. It's not like a formal date. Um, have you tried any do you feel like is that the only one

you've ever been on? Have you ever? Have you tried? I've tried all of them. And I moved to Lane. I was on bumble and Hinge and I was going on like three dates a day, like day you went to a breakfast, lunch and dinner day. Bought this for my when I was interviewing for the best. She's on the Bachelor, her own making of it. Yeah, so I would have breakfast, lunch and dinner set up and and then I just didn't like anyone and it just got

so tiring. And when do you hate dating? That sounds terrible? Charity, you don't know any guys you can set her up with. To me, set ups are the best. Now all my Rhode Island friends are taken, which is very depressing. Also I'm very happy for them, but without the same thing. When Ashley and I got together, she had a single friend and it was like, who can we hook her up with? And I'm like, all, like the guys that I would hook up my friends with are all taken. Yeah. Well,

I mean that's another suggestion I have for you. Like, I think that if you go out and you're like a fun person to be around and you have a positive attitude, You're gonna be around people. You're gonna be people even if they're not the like, even if they're not single themselves like they I personally am always I love setting people up. Obviously, I'm a huge fan of

dating and I love setting anyone up. I like this, My like my thrill is just seeing two people connect and I have like connected them, um so and I you know, So one thing I would suggest is just like if I meet someone out and they're just like a fun single person, I'm like, I'm immediately just thinking in my head, like who could I have for them?

So I think that is like a big, big part of it, or speaking to any friends or guy friends you have, and it can seem weird to like put yourself out there being like, oh, I'm like I'm single, I'm actually looking. If you know anyone that would be you think would be a good match for me, definitely

send them my way. I think that a lot of the times, like it is a very underrated way to meet people, and people kind of feel like it's like weird or desperate seeming to say that, But I think that it's like a great if you're you're go into it and you're super positive, that's the best way to meet someone, especially via someone who kind of like knows you and knows your vibe and knows someone you'd get

along with, right right, Yeah, that is true. Friends. Yeah, I think you hear a lot of friends of friends. That's how you met, That's what people met. That's how I met my husband. Yeah yeah, yeah, your friend had your back exactly. Well. I was like third wheeling her and her boyfriend a lot, and she thinks she was like, I gotta get her out of here. Jordana, thank you so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it.

Congratulations on all your success. It's an incredible story. Everybody listening, go listen to you up a great podcast that you host with Jared. By the way, tell Jared I said hello, and then he's got a big fan from another Jared Um Jared to Jared's Yeah, I was gonna make a dirty joke. I can't do it on air. Uh Georgana. Thank you so much for joining us. You're the best, Um. And once again, congratulations on everything. Thank you, thanks for

having me follow. Help buy Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast.