Popping the Questions!

Two episodes this week. This is the second. First one was with Emily Ferguson or Emily uh Carlson. Did we find out if she changed her last name? She did to carl say, so it's Emily Carlson, which is so crazy. So eighty six that's a restaurant term means no more Goodbye to the Fergie Twins. That's so sad. No more Fergie Twins. So weird. But it was a good run. They were on Paradise many times. They had their own show.

Great run. But this episode is going to be a Q and A. We asked you some questions on Instagram because we just started doing this podcast. Kalin is obviously on here as the new co host. She's amazing. I know that you have a lot of questions for her for the podcast moving forward, so let's get it going. Here's the first question, Kaylin. This one is gonna be for you, Kaylin. What makes you nervous about becoming a mother someday? We just talked to Emily about being a mother.

We talked about Ashley being a mother all the time. So what are some things that you're nervous about. What are some of your fears going into motherhood. I think the one thing holding me back from kids, not that I'm ready now, but you know, in the future, is childbirth. It's just nothing about it excites me. I'm not good at pain. My pain tolerance is low, so it really

freaks me out. But I just got dinner with one of my girlfriends and she said that giving like birth and her child childbirth was like the most fun experience of her life. So that gave me some hope the entire pregnancy or just giving birth. Just giving birth was the most fun experience ever. She's like, it was like a party, and I've never heard that, So I'm just gonna if we do eventually have children, go into it with that mindset and hope I'm the same. What kind

of hospital did she go to? It sounds like a great fun hospital party, I know. So that's definitely my biggest fear. Also, like your body changing is scary and all of the things that your body has to go through to like adapt to have a child, and like the sickness. It just people sometimes emphasize the bad side of being pregnant, and I think that's what I've kind of been focusing on. Yeah, it's it's not easy seeing from you know, up close and personal, Ashley going through

I gotta call up question if that's okay? Yeah, go Klan. It seems like the only fears that you have about having a child comes in the pre child of phases, though right I'm wrong, I'm thinking that. Yeah, there are actually a lot of fears that come after that too, but that's like the one that's front in my mind right now. But yeah, obviously, like messing up your kid is scary, and like what if I'm a bad mom.

And it's funny because like when you're growing up, you feel like your parents can like protect you at all costs, they know everything, and then the older you get, you realize they have no idea what they're doing and how many ways you can screw up a kid. So that's just a whole other there are many fears that go along with that as well. So I answer your question, it does, it does. I was just curious because you focus on the whole pregnancy thing, which I know is

a big thing for any girl to go through. But I was just curious if there's any post pregnancy concerns that you had, you know, oh, yeah, even more. Yeah. It is funny when you talk about pregnancy because then after you give birth, you're like, Okay, now I have to raise a child. You know, just doesn't stop. We were actually talking last night, Ashley and I just kind

of talking in a whim. I was like, if you even had the choice, like, say, we could get you a surrogate, and you like, it didn't cost us money or whatever, like you just had the choice of getting a surrogate for the second kid or not, would you want to do it? And I was under the impression. I was like, I don't think she would anymore. You know, before we had Dawson, she was, of course like Oh,

I'm definitely gonna surrogate. And now I'm curious if given the choice and everything worked out, she is kind of like, I don't think she would, just because of the bond that she has with Dawson and him growing in her belly. I think that obviously just makes it feel a little bit more special. I don't really know, but it was just we talked about the pregnant state, everything like that that

was an interesting conversation. So Dean, this question is for you, piggybacking off that will starting a family affect you traveling? Do you think it will make you stop or cut back? It's funny actually that this was asked because I feel like Kitlan and I just had a conversation recently about this. I personally don't think it. I think come like your immediate thought is, yes, it's going to change the way that I travel, and I think it definitely would in

some ways. But I would be happy to have a little baby with me on every adventure that I go on. You know, like, imagine bringing a baby in Artica. I think that'd be awesome. We did have this conversation on the podcast that's crazy. Yeah, imagine bringing a baby to the top of Sarah Torre or up to the top amount Everest. You know that baby is going to touch the highest point on Earth before he turns three. I think that'd be an awesome achievement for him to be

able to do so. I do then think that there are ways to travel with a baby. You know, there's a lot of like van people that I follow on Instagram that have children and they find a way to make it work. I think that you don't necessarily have to lose your travel bug if you have a baby. I think there's ways that you can find to make it work. I think there's like baby safe adventures we could go on, Like our neighbor that lives in a van two in Vegas. I just saw there set up

for like camping with the baby, and it looked pretty fun. Yeah. I mean, of course, you see the highlight reel on Instagram. It's probably not as glamorous as it like I. You know, I love being in the van by myself, and when you joined me in the van, it adds to my stress.

And then if we had a baby in the van with us too, I could only imagine how much more stressful and messy that van would look, but you just find a way to adapt and make it suitable for all three people, as I'm working on doing with just the two of us in the van. So I don't necessarily think I would travel I would travel less, but I wouldn't travel significantly less, you know, Yeah, that makes sense. Somebody asks, how can I feel confident when meeting a

significant others friends? This is pretty intimidated to me. I mean, just be I It's the stupidest thing I'm ever gonna say in my entire life, But just be yourself. But be a good version of yourself. You know, Like I'd probably say, stay away from any racy or dirty jokes. You know, you don't want to like offend anybody too early on until you're comfortable with them. So of course I would say the biggest thing is just be show that you're putting effort. I think that's really it. Like,

we actually got dinner with so. We had Nate and Rodney here for a meet and greet on Saturday at Audrey's, and then we went to dinner with Jill and her new boyfriend Jill from Bachelor Bachelor in Paradise and her new boyfriend's great and I felt bad because he was just like, Hey, you're gonna meet Jared and Ashley and then these two guys from Bachelor for the first time.

We're all going to get dinner. So he got a kind of got thrown in there, but he was great, Like he definitely like was trying to insert himself in the conversation. He was actively listening, and then even though he didn't speak a lot, it was very sweet to say like, oh, like, it just shows that you were like at least trying to be personal while meeting Chill's friends. And I think that goes a long way. So just as long as you don't act indifferent, you'll be fine. Yeah.

And if they, I mean, your significant other likes you and she or he likes their friends, obviously, just be yourself and it should be fine. Yeah. I like how Jared's advice was to not say anything racy or like Ronchi, And I was just imagining every time I meet any of Kaylin's friends, that's like the very first thing that I do is I put my foot in my mouth, not like intentionally, but like you know, I mean, how many stories do we have of me meeting any of

your friends? And then you make fun of me the next day for do you remember asking this question or saying this? Oh my god, I know you're talking about That was one instance when you had too much to drink. Can you say it on air or is it? No? No, it was. I mean it was funny, but it was

like a little inappropriate. But that's my point exactly, is that sometimes my mind goes to a dark place and I'm like, oh, I know, like I got something that's gonna kill and then I say it and I'm like, I guess we're just not on that level, are we. I only met you five years ago. Sorry about that. I woke up in the morning and I was like, big smile on my face, like, Kaylin, I was pretty funny last night, wasn't I as crushing it? And she was like, no, do you remember remember the questions you

were asking? And I was like yeah, I'm pretty sure. And then Kaylyn repeated them to me and I was like, oh, hearing you say them makes me realize how stupid eyes must have said. So it was fun. I just think I agree with you be yourself, be goofy. And you know, I don't know, Kaylin, what's your advice because you've had to meet a lot of my friends obviously, So what what is your approach to that? I mean, yeah, it

was pretty nervous. The second we got off Paradise, we flew to San Diego, picked up your van, and then I met twenty of your friends and that was pretty nerve wracking. Um yeah, but and I'm I'm also very shy, and I'm better in groups of like one or two people versus like twenty. But um, you know, a beer helped, and I just started playing whatever drinking games they were playing and tried to tried to act like I wasn't nervous. I guess, yeah, it's gonna be one of the boys, right,

Who are they playing? They're they're They're playing King's Cup or something like that. That was funny. There was like twenty of them. They were down there for like a golf trip, so they were all like wasted and smelly, and then we had known each other for like a week at that point. That was a pretty funny experience. But we went over there to shower because we didn't have a shower in the van. Did we even end

up showering? I don't remember showering there. I don't think you did I think it was like too messy and we left. Yeah, that's funny. All right, what else? Let's see if I want to ask you guys a question, it's my turn now, but I gotta pull up the list. Okay, here we go. Jared, did you think that Kaylin and I would get engaged when we first started dating? Um? Wow,

that's a great question. I think it's okay if it's no. Yeah, I guess no because of Dean, Because you know, for the longest time, you've always talked about how you're non traditional and you didn't see yourself getting engaged or getting married, and that was just kind of who you were. And then, you know, a special right before Paradise, you kind of have to put yourself back in that spot you were. You just bought the van, you know, you grew the mustache.

You were, I mean, going down a very different path of settling down. And then you got asked to go on Bachelor in Paradise, and then you were going back and forth whether you wanted to do it, and then

you said you were going to do it. But you're just gonna go there and be honest and be like, I'm just a dude living in a a Van and then you met Kaylin and then obviously everything changed after that, so I guess probably, I mean, god, I don't know a timetable, but once you guys started dating for months and it was very clear that it was a serious relationship, then yeah, I always thought that Kaylin would definitely convince you to get engaged, and then ultimately that's exactly what happened.

Not convince you to get engaged because you were against I think it was more like you were going to realize how important Kaylin was to you and that you'd want to take that step for her. That's how I phrase it when I say, you know, Calin was going to convince you to get engaged. Yeah, Calin really had to put a gun to my head to make me, you know, pull pull the trigger on that metaphorical to make it go on that hellish, hellish hike. Yeah. Yeah.

Dean and Jared, what were your first impressions of each other, Well, let's think about the first time that we met each other. Well, my first impressions of Dean were from Bachelorette and Paradise, and of course I thought what everybody else thought was that this guy is definitely an f boy. Like not from bad because well, also, Dean, you were you're obviously so good looking now, but when you were back then, it was like you had the hair and like the tan,

and you were so sweet and tongue looking. And it's like this guy is definitely he like collects toenails in his closet. There's no way anybody is this perfect, Like this is impossible, It's impossible. I know I've gone down the hill since then, for sure. I disagree. I think you've gone uphill since then. But I guess my first well, when did we meet? That's what I'm I'm trying to remember when we first met. Do we meet at Nick's apartment or you're you'res in Kni's apartment. I guess maybe, Yeah,

I don't remember the first time we met. It's so funny how um this podcast came together, because I remember you were doing you were doing the podcast, and then you were taking like a hiatus, and then I think they were debating adding a co host. And I still don't to this day. I don't know how I got chosen, but I got super lucky. Wait, so before you joined, you hadn't met Dean. No, I did? Oh, we didn't know each other that well. We had like barely known

each other. I think we met when we when you were living with Nick, and Nick got the idea or you got the idea, whoever it was, to film those bad Chiller episodes, and like, that's kind of when we hung out. Actually, if you thought that was my idea, get the hell out of here. You know that on that I disagree with it. I just I didn't want you to have thought of it and may not give you any potential credit. Okay, So that's when that very soon. That's when we at least hung out a couple of times.

My first impression of Jared was Okay, he's obviously very handsome, a lot shorter, a lot shorter than I expected him to be. Um and uh, very smart about very specific things. I think that was the thing that really stuck out to me was your like movie catalog in your head was like so vast and I was like, damn, how does one person know that much about one topic? And I was really impressed by that. It's so pathetic. I

felt bad. There was a girl that came in to Audrey's like three weeks ago, and she was wearing a Michael Myer's shirt Halloween T shirt, and I figured that she must be a big Halloween fan to come in and wear a Michael Myer's shirt. So it's like, oh, you're a Halloween fan, and she goes, oh love Halloween. I love Michael Myers. So then I start going for like fifteen minutes on this like, oh, you know the first one? Or what's what do you think about the

new trilogy? And would you think about Halloween Ends? And with Jamie Lee Curtis and Laurie Strode and blah blah blah blah blah, and dude, I lost her like three minutes in, and I'm like, I'm I guess I just talk about movies on a different level than a lot of people expect. And it really, like you said, it's the specificity of it that, like how much I know about certain like the dumbest why do I know about

this stuff? I think? I think Easton's trying to play the Brady Buzzer, but he's muted, so he's not able to That's a shame, yeah, which which is funny because there it is. There's the Brady Buzzer. I bet you the girl at the coffee shop wish she had a Brady buzzer. But if this don't exist in every day long oh, I could tell, like, well, I started ending the conversation once I could see that she was It's like gone, and I'm like, Okay, never mind, here's your chie.

I have a question for both of you, guys, Okay, has dating within the Bachelor franchise made it easier or more difficult in your relationship? Or is it doesn't even matter? I think it's made it more difficult at times, just with headlines. Like last week, I was so annoyed by a certain publications Instagram post about our podcast that they

didn't even cite our podcast. But they I don't know they I don't remember what the quote was, but they pulled a random quote from the podcast about Dean want to give a sect to me before kids, and it wasn't even correct. And then Dean read the comments and everyone was coming after him, verst saying like, I don't know you read the comments, Dean. What were they saying? Oh, it's just a lot of comments about how I'm controlling and how I make the rules, and you are forced

to fall all of them. You have no say in the relationship. And that's what's crazy, is like he was doing this as a kind I had proposed the idea of secting me to help you and to give you the option of not taking birth control anymore. And that's what's so frustrating. I'm like, screw you to that publication. And they do this often where they like pull these

tricky headlines. I guess everyone does it and it's stupid, but I'm like, he was doing such a kind thing that most men would never offer up to do so in instances like that, it makes it more difficult, but usually I feel like it doesn't matter. I gotta be honest. What I'm annoyed at is the fact that they didn't credit the podcast. I didn't know that. I know. Yeah, I never comments on this post, but I commented on that one. I was like tagging the podcast at least

or give some context. But yeah, everyone is coming at me in the comments for that. It's so annoying. Even my brother was like, dang, that's pretty crazy. I'm so used to it now, but that one really did irk me because I'm trying my best to be a good person and no one thought my way. They just think that i'm some controlling, manipulative jerk who is trying to convince Kalin that I don't want to have kids and

this is my way of getting out of it. It's just it's so so stupid and it's crazy, and if this publication wants to do right, they should correct it and like acknowledge the fact that what he was doing was so kind and thoughtful, like what man offers to get a dissect me so the woman doesn't have to be on birth control because it doesn't agree with her body.

I'm angry, but continued Dean, I was going to say, even since we first came off Paradise and you know, we were kind of both polarizing figures, I guess if you will, I feel like the odds were kind of against us, and I do think that kind of strengthened our bond a little bit. So these headlines that we see that are negative, although it is like annoying for us to see and have to deal with them, I do think it does bring us closer in a weirder way.

And I do think being part of the Bachelor franchise has made dating a lot easier for us and for Jared. I'm sure you would agree with this too, because the franchise has given us so many opportunities to live in abdormal lifestyle where we don't have to work as much as we would otherwise, And so for us to be able to live a life that we live now, it's

all because of being on a Bachelor obviously. So I do think that there are many, many, many more positives and there are negatives, and I'm grateful for all those positives, and I think it's been a good thing for us. Yeah, I would one hundred percent agree. I think the good greatly outweighs the bad. What somebody asked, when do you think is the most ideal time to move in with a significant other? I think like two years. Oh wow, it's a long time. Yeah, it is a long time.

Damn a year, I don't know, no, but I would say at least a year of knowing this person moving in it changes things, like like it just does. It's not as special anymore when they come over because they're not leaving, they're always staying. You wake up to this person, like their stuff is there. You see them a lot more, and you see them and not you know you like you'll smell their poop, like you will smell their poop. That is what's going to happen when you live together.

So it definitely changes things. So I would make sure that you guys have a strong foundation that this is something that you want to go forward with. Like the worst thing and this happens. It's actually happened to someone I know right now where it's like they pretty much moved it. They just started dating, but they were living at home and so now they stay there every single night, and they already moved their stuff in, so they're like, wow, I pretty much lived there now and it's literally like

a month into the relationship. And I'm like, oh God, don't do that. That's just a recipe for disaster. No, that's the way too soon. That's a lot. I don't know. I think it goes both ways, and it really depends on a lot of things like age and situation. Like I had never lived at this significant other until Kaylin and I lived together, which was pretty fast. Like you know, you're either with me in my van or I was with you at your apartment in West Hollywood. That was

also because of COVID or your broken leg and then COVID. Yeah, that's true. So that's what I'm saying. Situationally, it was just a little bit different. But I will say like living together or spending so much time on the same roof, in whatever context you want to put that in, it did make the relationship feel a lot more serious early on,

in a good way. I think, like you know, as a early twenty something year old, I was in relationships, but they never felt super serious because we would not live together and you would only see each other a couple times a week. So I do think like maybe as you get older, it could be a little earlier, but as a young person, I think that you should definitely take your time and wait a little bit longer. Yeah, I think so well, said Dean. So Well said thank you,

thank you. Yep, I'm pretty good at this whole podcasting. Think, Jared, if you were to have a second child, what would you name them? Say the first name that comes to mind for Oh wow, okay, I didn't have to get to that last part, Tom Haben. No, I would not name him Tom. My first son's name is already Brady in the middle. It's a great question. I've always liked the name Sebastian. I talked to Ashley about that before we had Dawson. But I mean, Dawson was always gonna

be Dawson. I'm glad he's Dawson. But I always like Sebastian. She's not a big fan of that name, so that I don't know. We'll see for a girl, no idea, and then for a boy. Honestly, yeah, the first name that comes to mind would probably be Sebastian. But I also love I have a dog named Clark, so I can't name Clark. Even though I love old fashioned names, I would love love to bring back some old fashioned names. We name all our dogs like we have Clark, we

have lois ethel Lucy. They're all just like straight out of the nineteen twenties. But to bring back a name like that, I think that's that's where we're going to head towards. I like Sebastian. He could um it would be short for Bash, like Collombash. That would be cute. Call Bash yeah as a nickname. You don't like it? No, no, no no, I like it. I like Bash Bash. Yeah, I could see that. I don't think as you didn't like that, I like Bash. Are you saying Clark is

an old school name? Don't you think. I don't think so. I know a couple of Clarks that are my age. You know, Clark's your age. Yeah? Really, I mean I'm sure obviously there's Clarks in their twenties and thirties. But like you're telling, like, how many Clarks do you know comparably to John Matt Bill. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I see you're coming from. I do think it's less common. It's a good name. It's a good name, Clark Habin. I like it. And what was the girl name that

you said? It's got a good ring to it. What was the girl name that you said? I didn't even say a girl name. I got nothing. Do you guys have any kid names? Yeah, Dane's named Dollar children I have no say Yeah, so he is controlling. Yeah, yeah, I am controlling. Hey, Caitlin, I'm naming the kids. You're you're a birth that I'm I'm naming. I'm look it up and deal with it's a great Can you share the name I think you have before Dean? Yeah, we've shared.

We've shared him. If it was a boy, it'd be Hunter, Hunter, Scott Bell. I know Kyle is Kyl Yeah, Kaylen wants to have some input on the middle name. Um, but I would like it to be Scott. We'll see how that how that goes if it gets to that point, and then the girl would be Debbie Bell. Middle name TBDB, middle name Kaylen. What middle name should Debbie have? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I don't know why, and I can't think of a good middle name Debbie

blank Bell. But what if she just doesn't have a middle name Debbie Bell. Debbie Bell's nice. She could even be Debbie blank Bell different. Oh like it, Debbie blank Bell. Um, all right, let me ask you a couple of rapid fire questions before we wrap this podcast up. So um, try to be short winded, and so will I. Do you guys believe in love at first sight? I will go first No? No, no, clean sweep. That's right. Last, gentlemen,

we hate love. What is your biggest turn off? Mine is when people are rude to either bartenders or white stuff. My biggest turnoff is, oh man, I'm thinking more in terms of like just people and not more so romantic. But my biggest like ick or turnoff is is when you talk to someone and you always have to repeat yourself. You know, every time you say something, they're like, what, sorry to say that again. I absolutely cannot stand that. That's my biggest pet peeve I think of all time.

That's a great, great, great pet peeve because I do that, and I hate myself. I don't know why I do it. It just takes a minute to process in my brain. And Ashley, well, one hundred percent agree with your dem because I do this to her. She'll ask me something and I'll say huh, even though it's still processing in my brain. But my initial reaction is to have her repeat it instead of me taking a minute to process it,

which is not a good quality. Yeah. I'm still working on that too, And I know it drives doing crazy, but it's it's a reaction. It drives me up the wall. And I'll tell you what, I don't think it's necessarily like, I know you're not doing it intentionally. And I used to do it all the time as well, and I still do it sometimes. But I noticed I was doing it and I was like, Okay, I am going to fix this and try to get better at it. And so what I've started doing when I encounter these people

is when they say what or hunt. I just don't respond. I don't even say anything. I don't even give them any type of eye contact or I definitely don't repeat myself. And that's my solution to it. And it like maybe maybe some light on them that they need to fix the problem, the problem whatever. Maybe maybe it's just some light off the problect that they're doing that they're doing something that not everyone can like. So that's my that's my Oh I cannot stand. It makes my blood boil.

All right, Carolen, what's your biggest turn off? Mine is chewing with your mouth open? Just the grossest thing ever is Yeah, you do hate that? Um, he is usually good at it. If he's trying to make me mad, he'll do it on purpose. Oh. If I'm having a popsicle and Ashley, I'm trying to annoy Ashley, that thing's getting crunched loudly. Ah. Do you guys think the statement wants a cheater always a cheater is true? I will go first. I do not. I don't because of Dean. Oh,

thank goodness. If anyone said yes, I would have a bone to pick. I obviously don't either. If I said yes to that, I would be really mad at myself. So I don't think that's necessarily true. I do think that you have to grow out of the phase of life that you were in when you were that person, But I don't think. I don't think actions in your late teens early twenties definitely reflect who you are as

a person for the rest of your life. What's something you used to believe about relationships but no longer do. The first thing that comes to my mind, this is definitely a naive thought that I had when I was younger, which was as soon as you start doubting the relationship or things start becoming difficult, then it's probably not the

relationship for you. That is just completely false. And I, you know, Ashley and I and many other relationships would have ended if the first time things got hard and difficult and we had doubts about our future, that we would just end the relationship. It's ridiculous and something that I used to think was true when I was younger, and now I certainly don't think it's true. You have to work, you know, through your problems together. That's what

a marriage is all about, Kayle. I think for me, I grew up in the South and it's like, if you're a Christian, you have to marry a Christian. And you know, I don't really know what I believe anymore, but I'm obviously not marrying a Christian, so that's something at least, but I no longer believe at least. Yeah, that's true. That's good. I'm glad that you decided to come around on that way of thinking. That's good for me. That's not what I said. Well, I'm just saying, you know,

another win for the atheists, so the world. That's great, I would say, Jared, I think what yours, yours, you said was really really good because I think as kids were kind of conditioned to believe that every relationship should be perfectly flawless and once you find your soulmate, there's never going to be any type of like tension or friction in the relationship, and so whenever we experience that in a relationship at a young age, then we think

of it being a reason to end the relationship. But I don't know, I think that also comes with age two. Like with Kaylin, I think we had a lot of hurdles early on in our relationship, and we still do bicker and argue about certain things, and it just takes work to like communicate it and tell the other person what's going on and why you feel the way that you do. Where you know, work in a relationship isn't something that you necessarily think that you have to go

hand in hand with at a younger age. So I agree with you. I think that's kind of what it is. I was going to say, like soulmates, I don't really believe in soulmates, and I may be used to, and I think those two things kind of go hand in hand, you know. Like I agree with you. I think that a relationship takes a lot of work, and if I did Kalin when I was twenty two, I don't think it would work because I didn't realize how much worker relationship was supposed to take back then, you know. Yeah, yeah,

Two questions. In what scenario, if any, is it okay to lie to your partner. I'm a big advocate of little white lies if they serve or purpose, because a lot of people in relationships would say, I never lie to my partner. I never want my partner to lie to you. Okay, Well, I'll you scenario that I have lied, not even to particularly my partner but my partner's family perhaps where somebody cooks a dinner for me, they spend a long time on it, work hard, and then it's

not that good. I'm not gonna say at dinner it's not that good. I'm gonna maybe at some point later down, you know, down the road where they've had their feet up all day and a little bit more relaxed instead of cooking away in the kitchen, I'll, you know, say oh that, you know what, that pasta dish. It just wasn't the best. It wasn't my favorite, you know, but I can't stand like, I'll never forget. I'll never forget

this moment for the rest of my life. We sat down for dinner, I might as well just call him out on it. And Ashley's mom was cooking all day and she made these meatballs and we all sat down. It was the five of us because Lauren Ashley, yeah, five of us, and she must have been working on

the kitchen for like five hours on this meal. And then they just have a different relationship than I have with my family because literally the first bite, Ashley's like, not that good, and I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, why would you say that and there, of course, as she was like, no, we're just be like she knows one, Like, I'm grateful she cooked for me, but it's not that good and I'm like to get I'm like I have I just I need to get out

of this situation fast. Oh no, that's pretty funny. So anyway, that's my example whenever I say, like, there are times for little white lies to be like, you know, nice, I agree with you. I think that's great. I think, yeah, white lies can help ease the blow sometimes. Kaylin, what's your answer? Um, I don't know. I was gonna wait

to hear your answer. I mean, I guess little white lies in those cases where it's like not a big deal and it's and you're protecting someone's feelings, then yeah, yeah, true. I mean I lie to you all the time, so I obviously think it's a relationship. You're making this so much worse for yourself. Oh my gosh, I don't think a single day goes by way. I don't tell you at least a couple of lies. Shut well, let's talk about it, you know, yeah, like, hey, how long? How well?

How long? My most favorite live of all time when you ask how long is it going to take for you to build that or something? And I always say, oh, just take me an hour. Yeah, that's now a joke. I thought you were going to bring up when are you going to be back from golf? I was about to say that. That was my next one. That was my second bullet in the chamber was how long is it going to take you back from golf? I was like, Oh, I'll be back in two hours or three hours, and

then I'm not back intil like ten pm. No, you say two pm. Yeah, and you don't show up till ten Yeah, that's okay, Okay, but I guess I guess now I need to depend myself. Actually, thank you. It's not necessarily a lie. It's in the moment I think I'm telling the truth, but it becomes a lie when I don't follow through with it. So I think, in your hearts of hearts, you know in the moment you're

not being truthful. Yeah, I've Actually I'll tell you what I've I've developed a new system to start getting what I want more often in the relationship, and I wasn't going to share it, especially with Kaylin, because I don't want it to fail me at all. But I'm going to share it with you guys, and it works. It's been one hundred percent effective so far, not anymore. So

here's here's the method. Instead of going like, instead of saying like, Hey, Kaylin, I'll be home at four today, I'm gonna go play golf with my friends, I say, hey, Kaylin, can I go golf with my friends today? Or Hey Kayln, can I go over to my friend's house? And Kaylin never wants to be the person to control me or tell me what I can and can't do? Said nine nine out of nine times she says, oh, yeah, of course, go ahead and do it. All I have to do is ask instead of instead of saying what am I

gonna do? I have to ask if I can do it? Yeah. That's a great um strategy to have when you're with someone who won't tell you no. M Ashley would tell

me no. Oh. I'm sure she eventually will start saying no. But I know that she her and I both with each other, we want the other person to do whatever it is that makes them happy, and so by asking it in a question form, like if Calen asked me if she could do something, I would never in a million years say no, you can't do that, and so I think that I spent it back around her by by asking the question instead. Yeah, it's works so far,

but we'll see. But I do I like I like it when you ask, not that you need to ask, but sometimes when I don't know. Hey have just mixed feelings about golf. Yeah, Kilm doesn't like that I'm out drinking with my friends all day. Yeah, I mean, I don't, um, but I get it, trust me, Like I get it. It's a balance. You know, you gotta go out and have some you know, fun with the boys. You gotta have fun with the boys. You gotta just like get it out. But uh, yeah, it's a balance. I'd say

ten pm is probably a little bit too late. I feel like three or four is a good compromise, you know. Yeah, yeah, but what if you want to like play more golf after the first round and then you got to get beers all together afterwards. It's just oh, I get it. I see where where where Klin is coming from with the whole golf situation. But I mean, I think the Brady Buzzer should be I think the Brady Buzzer needs to be an actor, right, now I'm putting my foot in.

You're nervous. Yeah, I'm back that, I'm back fiddling. Last question, even though I'm very confidence, probably won't happen. Do you get do you? First of all, do you have an afficiant for the wedding year? Yes? We did? Okay? Um, Well, if somebody wants to know if you had someone from Bachelor Nation officiate your wedding. Obviously there's been Chris Harrison has officiated media weddings, A lawn officiated our wedding. Um,

would you have someone from Bachelor Nation? It would it be Chris Harrison or somebody else that would officiate, if you guys get to choose. We're not really close with Chris, so it definitely wouldn't be Chris if our efficiant were to not officiate our wedging, our wedding, Um, I don't know. Dean's pretty close with Wells. Maybe, well, say, I think I could see Wells officiated your wedding. Yeah, yeah, Wells is officiating another Bachelor wedding this year, So which makes

you not want it? Want him too? Yeah, which makes me not wanting to. I could see Ben doing a really good job, maybe Ben? Yeah, Ben would be really good. Ben would make it very soulful and very like loving, and he would the only thing about the only thing about Ben doing it is Ben would steal the show. Like Ben would do such a good job. Everyone would be talking about how great of a job Ben did ten years later, not how beautiful the wedding went. You know,

he would like outshine our vows too, which would be embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, his bows would be better than our area. Yeah, his officiating would be better than our vows. That's funny. Yeah, it would probably it probably would be him, But no, thankfully, we have a very close friend that's doing it for us. Think you know, thankfully they are all right, well, that's going to do it for the special episode of help we Suck at being newlyweds once again, that's still in

the workshop. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Make sure you tune into last episode that aired a few days ago with Emily Carlson formerly known as Emily ferguson The Fergie Twins. It was a great episode. It a lot of fun, and make sure you guys tune in next week where hopefully we suck just a little bit less. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at Being Newlyweds, and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com. Make sure to write

us a review and leave us five stars. We'll see you next time.