Pickles are Cucumbers with Kelsey Weier

looks better when it's not washed. I told you that in confidence, Jared um, But I don't know why my hair is the topic of discussion to open the podcast, because do it. We have a pretty freaking great episode for you guys today. We have from Peter season of The Bachelor and from Bachelor in Paradise. If I remember see we're How the heck are you? I am doing great? How are you guys? Oh? Well? From my hair, I'm doing pretty well. Making fun of it. I just said

it looks spectacular. How is that making fun? Aside from Jared in the office of his gastron on gastro uh, it looks like a medical exams officer. I got a medical I have a first aid kit, I have COVID nineteen raping exams, I have a power drill. I have everything you could possibly need in these office. Okay, guys, gastro enologists, I'm mispronouncing that, but that's what I was going for. Anyways, Kelsey, how are you? You already said you're good. I'm a little scattered brain right now. I

don't know where my microphone is. I'm recording through my phone. I lost my glass of water, but I found that. That's that's a good thing. Kelsey, welcome to recording a podcast with Dean. I'm you know what, I'm just gonna let you take the range because you have your life lay more to the other than idea. Well, Kelsey, of course, everybody knows you from Peter Webber's season of the Bachelor, and then you are on Bachelor in Paradise. So what have you been up to since we last saw you

on Paradise? Um, I've been traveling a lot, hanging out with my girlfriends, just living life and having fun. Well, you're in Nashville. Where's your favorite place to travel? Um? In the United States or in Europe? The world? We're

going internationally, the whole world. Come on. Well, I took my first European trip this summer with Kelly and I am obsessed with Europe now, so if I can go back, um, actually want to do a sombership this year with her, so hopefully with COVID and all that will be able to do that. What part of Europe? Um? I want to go back to Paris? So where have you been in Europe? Um? So we started in Paris and then we went to Sandra Pa and then we went to Athens and then meeting else that you hit some pretty

good stops. Did you go like, obviously this is a dating podcast, did you meet any people you know interest while over across the ocean? Well, it's funny you say that. So before the trip, I had gone on a two year hiatus, no dating, no kissing, like, no nothing, just cold turkey. Wait a minute, yeah, how long Peter was my last? Was my last kiss? What about Paradise? Didn't see you on in Paradise? No? I didn't. Holy crap. Well I'm flabbergasted because it only feels like a year ago.

But holy crap, Holy moly, we're getting old. Continue. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. So kind of other trip is like, you know what, I need to start putting myself out there again. So I did make out with someone in making nose but not so. But yeah, in two years that was my miconos was my first kiss. And two years was this like a was it? Was it a local Grecian? No, he was European, but um

not from Greece. Did anything come from it? Come on, you just made out with the guy for the first time in two years and you didn't try to pursue anything. Isn't that how like p s I love you began? Yeah? No, I'm not into that stuff. I just wanted to have fun, put myself out there again. I also tried. So I'm like horrible at flirting and my one of my girlfriends, I was with me and Kelly. They were like, you need to start flirting more. It's like, hey, we'll teach

me something. So they taught me that three second rule where you look at someone for three seconds, smile, and then look away. It works. Okay, So tell us go over this rule a little bit more because I've never heard this rule before, and I'm sure a lot of listeners. There's surely other listeners that could benefit from it. So what's the rule? So you like make eye contact with someone that you think is cute or whatever, look at that for like three seconds, smile, and then look away.

They cut month. Okay, it's really weird, but it works like the first time. Have no doubt. I have no doubt that Dean has been exposed to this rule because I can totally from the opposite side of that, imagining Dean being on the opposite side of someone staring at him. I could totally see someone staring at Dean for three seconds, looking away, and then Dean looking at one of his buddies and being like, she wants me um one of my AirPod just either. So I missed everything that was

just said, and I'm nothing. We're just making funny, don't mind. I need to I need to learn more about this three second roule. So okay, so we're turning like we're turning flirting into a science, which has been done before. I don't think there's any way there's only to knocket. There's definitely like a formula to to kind of this whole this whole game. But where did you hear this whole three second rule thing? Like? Who told it to you? Kelly? Kelly Flan again shop you I know Kelly flan again.

So she well she could come up with a three second rule, but she told you about it. But she's like the master flirter, Like you can totally tell timidating to watch because I'm more reserves when it comes to that stuff. I'd rather be pursued like and she just she's a different in a different level, Like it's insane. So I've learned a lot from her. Kelly gives off very confident vibes, but she's very flirting, like she knows how to turn it on. Yeah, that's what I mean.

She gives also like very confident vibes, like you guys compliment each other very well. Then she's the confident, like outspoken one in year like the more reserves you guys kind of bounce off each other pretty well, I bet right. Um, yes and no, So I'm very outspoken to like her and I will tell each other how it is. We have no problem being belong with each other. But when it comes to guys, were completely different personality wise, worse than learn a lot of ways. But guys, she has

a lot more confidence in that area than I do. Um, So she's been helping me a lot lately, well so so what's the reason that you took a two year hiatus from even considering talking or dating other guys. So I was in a relationship probably like a year year before the show, and one of my therapists had said you should take a year off dating, and I was like, there's no way. I'm twenty eight. I want to be married, have kids, you know that whole thing. And so I

was like, I'm not taking your off. So then I decided to go on the show. Well then I got off the show and as like, you know what, maybe I should really listen to my therapist and take a year off of dating. Well, then a year turned into two years. Like I just got very comfortable being by myself. I was listening to my friends drama and like the highs and most of dating, and I was just like, why would I want to be a part of that.

But then I got to the point where I'm like, all right, if I don't start putting myself out there again, I'm never gonna meet someone. So but it was good. Do you think that's one of the reasons why we didn't see you, um like former romantic connection in Bachelor in Paradise because you were kind of just like more

focused on yourself. No, I just so I'm thirty, I'll be thirty one, and like, I think from taking the two years off, realized like I'm not gonna just if I'm not interested in someone, I'm not going to pretend or lead anyone on because I don't want that to happen to me. So for me, I didn't have a romantic connection with anyone, Like I wasn't even interested in kissing anyone. And so I'm like, if I don't even want to kiss you, I know I'm not interested in you.

So I was like hoping I would stay the next week just to see if there was anyone else I came down that I could be interested in. But I was like, I'm not going to force it. I'm not gonna like make out with someone just to stay. So that was kind of my mindset. Yeah, that's good. I think that's probably the right approach. Um. Hey, so in our email, like we always get these rundowns before you know we start these episodes, it says right here, I

was just skimming through it. You were Miss Iowa. Mm hmm, yeah, two thousand seventeen. Did you know that my girlfriend was Miss North Carolina. I did. Yeah, Calan and I talked about that in Miami really because she must have been probably twenty year after me. Wow, that's crazy. And I know, like I know that the pageant world it's not like a sorority per se. But I guess like once you start competing a lot, it kind of becomes like a little close knit family. So that's pretty cool. I have

no idea. Yeah, I wish I knew more about these things. The only because the only thing I have to contribute as Miss Congeniality, which I feel like the stereotype did not win that so well. Ms Congeniality. Well, what I found out about Miss Congeniality is the song from the movie where William Shatner's like, she's Beauty and she's Grace, she's Miss United States. That's fake because it's Miss America.

It's not Miss United States. Do you guys know this right? Well, well, there's Miss USA and Miss America, so there're two pageants. Oh well, that song, though, is not real, right right? Okay? Cool, that's all I need to know. It could it could be real? Are you sure that they just made it up for the movie. Well, because I was trying to it's it's definitely made it for the because I was trying to research this one day I have. Anyway, let's move on to something else because we also have Brett

Robinson who's coming up shortly. Uh and Brett is uh from Big Brother and Kelsey is gonna come and stay on with us. So it's gonna be us to Kelsey and Brett. But before we do that, I do have a question for you, Kelsey, because we're talking about the three second rule and you said that you had a nice makeout sess with a with a gentleman from Europe, So I have to know did you do the three second rule and that's how the makeout session began? Um No,

it's a little bit more complicated than that. I did the three second rule. He then approached me, so it worked, but then we didn't make out until when he met up with us the next day at the next part. Yeah, but the ice breaker was the three seconds, which is what it's meant to do. Okay. So, Kelsey, so you had this, you had this variants in Europe and you

enjoyed the just Europe in general. Did that kind of like revitalize you to get back into the Dating World or are you still kind of reeling yourself in a little bit? No, it did, So what has it been like since, like you got back to the USA. You're in Nashville. Now, are you like jumping on the dating apps? Are you going full steam ahead or are you kind of easing into it? What are you doing? No dating apps? I've I've never tried the dating apps. I just don't

think it's something for me. I'm a horrible Texter. I'd rather talk on the phone. So, um, yeah, I haven't done the dating apps and just trying to meet people organically. I was talking to someone for about two months that didn't work out, But other than that, I've just been going on dates and trying to find different ways to meet people. And it's funny because Kelly and I both

are single and work together a lot. So um. What I've learned from her too is and like some of my other friends, they like to if we're like at a sporting event or like at another event, they'll like take a picture and then they'll like take random people just to see if they can get their attention, and then they'll hide the tag, right, and it works a

lot of the time. People doing that who have met I can't say, like, I bet you like Predator players are like Titans players or know nothing like that, um like bachelor people. No, I'm not going to tell you, guys, she's smiling everyone I know you can't see because this is a podcast. Because she's smiling. It was definitely you don't think I had no problem reaching them? Right right right?

Let me ask you this. So I don't know if you know this about help by Second Dating, but we have a lot of attractive, successful, nice guys that listen to this podcast. All not all, but most of them are single guys, some whom live in Nashville. So let's say one of them is really interested in getting your attention. What kind of advice would you have for someone that wants to get your attention, that wants to receive the

three second rule from you? Like, what's your type? Like, what do you what kind of advice would you have for someone that's going after after you? Are we talking about out in person or just connecting? Yeah, like you know, like not like connecting you know, through other mediums. But just like let's say you guys are out and someone spots you from across the bar, like what's that? What do they need to do to get your attention? Come

up and approach me, keep the conversation going. So even if the three second rule isn't doesn't have time to develop your total okay with someone coming up and like, I would prefer that. I would prefer someone to come up, talk to me and pursue me. That's that's what I want. I think That's why even on Paradise, I had a hard time because I'm like, these guys expected me to pursue them because they had the rows, and I'm like,

I'm not going to pursue you. Ay, I'm not interested in you, And be like, if this someone is interested in I would have, but I was I'm like, I'm not interested in you. I'm not gonna pursue you. Like if I really like someone, I'll put in more effort. I want to be pursued. My question is I feel like a lot of people out there are find it difficult to differentiate between someone not interested in someone playing

hard to get. So from your perspective, Kelsey, what are some of the things that you do that, like do you play hard to get? Do you know any girls that play hard to get? I know a lot of girls that play hard to get and I think I need start taking I need to start taking notes from them, because no, no, no, I like your approach way better. You're forthcoming, you're honest. I am, so I'm very upfront.

So the last person I was talking to before we even met up, I was like, if we're doing distance, this is what I expect, and like, I'm not saying we're dating, but I have self respect for myself and I don't want to If you're gonna be talking to other people, that's fine, but just take me out of the equation, you know, Like I'm very upfront with how I want to progress things, or like I want to see where things go because I feel like when you mix so many people into the mix, it just gets confusing.

You can't fully invest in someone. Um, and that backfire. So that's why I'm like, maybe I need to start Why did that? Why did that backfire? You don't have to go into too many details, but I'm curious, Um, we just weren't on the same page even though I had had that conversation. He claims we never did, and like, you guys are stupid, So it's pretty safe to assume you given this the dilemma of we either talk just us too, or you can go out and date other people.

And he chose to go talk to other people. Yes, well this is this is my thing. If I'm in the same city as you, it's it's a lot easier to like, I understand if you're seeing other people, if we're doing distance like that takes a lot of time, effort, money into pursuing something. And I'm like, I've already taken enough time off dating, Like I'm not going to just go have a fling with you for a weekend and then you do whatever you want when I'm not there

and then you come and visit me. Like, that's just not how it's gonna work. So before he even came to Nashville, I was like, Hey, if you want to see other people, that's fine, stay where you are, and just don't bring me into the equation. You want to know why. I I've always agreed with that, but I've never heard someone put it into words as well as you just did. And I fully agree. If you're going to be doing distance with someone long distance, there is

a lot more that goes into it. So I fully agree,

and I'm fully on board with what you're saying. I'm I'm when you're camp for all that kind of stuff, because you're right, like, if you're gonna put it in the effort and spend the money and go through all those steps to see someone, it's going to be someone that you are like investing in, not just like some random person you're gonna cook up with a couple of times and then never really see you again until the next time you decide to fly out or whatever it is.

So I fully agree with where you're coming from, and I'm proud of you for putting your foot down to yeah, hell yeah, that's It's a hard thing to do sometimes. I think taking the year two years off of dating like really helped because it's just like I'm just over the games. Well, now that you're in your thirties, you know, it's like you know a lot more what you want.

I think everyone can kind of speak to that to Jared and I are both in our thirties, and I feel like the person I was in my twenties is uh, well, I still I am an idiot, but the person and I wasn't my twenties wasn't even bigger idiot. So I think as long as we start to like bring that the idiosity down as much as we can, the thirties is a big chip up. So I'm proud of you. I think that you're doing great, and I think that you should keep doing and hopefully, like Jared said earlier,

what was it a Mama me a moment? Jared, Mama miya for the europe guy? Oh no, I said, p S I love you, ps, I love you. These wrong coms, man, they'll blend together for me. Hopefully we have a p S. I Love you moment and you can be reunited with the the what's what's the place? The mecan Us guy. Yeah, I don't really want to be reunited with him. It was just like another Meconos man. Did you go to Did you go to Lindsay Lohan's day club in Mecanos? No? I think it's closed. Okay, I wasn't sure, but I

just remember hearing so much about it. Yeah. I think she had a show actually about it, right right right, Well, maybe we'll reopen one day. Um. I've always wanted to go to Meconos. I have not had the chance too yet, but I'm very jealous that Anyways, we're gonna take one quick break. Um, we're gonna jump into our guest and Chared. Who's our guest again? It is Brett Robinson from TikTok. The thirst trap King is what I'm dubbing him as I apparently, I guess, I don't know. I looked at

one of his tiktoks and he was shut listening it. Uh, And I gotta say that the guy's got great traps. So stick through this break. We'll be right back, all right, welcome back to help I suck at dating, Dean, myself Kelsey with a very special guest. You know him if you are a fan of Big Brother, you definitely know him from back in two thousand eighteen. And also he's very popular on TikTok. We actually just watched a couple of your TikTok's, Brett, and we really need to give

Kelsey some pointers, and me too, because I suck on TikTok. Dean, are you on tick talk? I am on the tick as the kids. Well, we probably could all use some pointers right here. So it is Brett Robinson. Brett, how you doing, buddy? Thanks for coming on. Help I suck at dating. Hey, guys. I'm doing great, super excited to be here and happy to help you guys with your TikTok's. And I guess dating lives. Yeah, well you know, we suck at dating obviously, so a lot of your TikTok's

are about dating. They're about falling in love. So, first of all, are you single? I am single? Yes, Okay. Do you meet a lot of people on TikTok um? Actually no? So this is like a weird Like the reason I like TikTok now is because it's like, I feel like Instagram became the Facebook, where like everyone's parents and everyone's aunts and uncles and like extended cousins and like everyone in the world that you knew was there.

And I feel like when you're on Instagram, you're like in a box, like this is what socially acceptable, this is what like I'm allowed to post, like this is what I'm gonna think of if so and so takes a look at this. And then I got on TikTok and I didn't follow anyone because I didn't know anyone on TikTok, So I just started posting whatever I organically wanted to post and just didn't care what anyone had to think about it. I don't know if I answered

your question at all. There, No you did. I was just curious about like because it I think of like Instagram, like sliding into the d m s is such a common phrase. I'm curious if there's something equivalent to that on TikTok Um. I really like, I think I only follow like like like thirty people, so I don't really slid and up. My d ms are not open on

TikTok I don't. I don't use it like that because then I get in like I've there was a point in time where I followed a lot of people and I started on following people because I was two in my head when I was posting about things like what would this person think? And I love just having like completely on completely raw, like I want to post this because this is how I feel or I think this is super relatable where I really like this content and I don't really care what anyone has to think about it.

Yeah that's fair, But I got I got a question for you. So you were on Big Brother, right, I was, how did how did that go? I've never really watched Big Brother, but I've always been like so intrigued by it seems like such a fun experience, but like also such a mindful that's all very accurate. It was probably the best worst time that I ever had. Like I don't regret it at all, But it's kind of like going to the gym. It's like you're gone your way there.

It sucks while you're there. It sucks, but like if you do really well, you feel really good about it afterwards, or like if you ever like pledged a frattorney, or if you ever like boot camp for the military, or if you ever played up varsity you from a freshman, like it sucks, but it's like really such an amazing experience and you grow so much from it. It was the craziest thing that I've ever done, And you don't

know what you're gonna do until you're actually there. Like I had no clue that I was gonna stand up and say like these crazy as speeches or like throw someone under the bus. And it seems easy when you're watching, Like when you're watching, you're like, oh, that's easy, Like I would totally have done this. You get there and you're like in the moment your face to face with someone and you have a lady with pink hair screaming with popular face. You're like, holy sh this escalated quickly. Yeah,

that's how I feel. Whenever I wanted Survivor, I'm always like, oh, you guys are so stupid. I know everything that's going on, but if I ever actually be on the show, I would have absolutely no clue what's going on. Um, when you were on Big Brother, did you leave with a love interest or did you have one during the show

or anything like that. No, you know what, man, So like, at the end of the day, it's a game, right, Like the whole like the whole, like the whole fan base of Big Brother is lie, cheat, steal, play the game your way to the end. Okay, that's exactly what

it is. Though. So my game was flirting. I was like, I just want to be the most Like, I want to be so loved that when someone has to go in that room to vote me out, that they just like feel so gut wrenched that they can't so like, I flirted with the girls, I got bromanced with the guys. I just wanted to be the most lovable guy. Um, but I was. I guess I had my walls up

because you don't really know what anyone's ulterior motive is. Like, no matter what someone tells you your face, everybody's lying to your face the entire game. Everybody tells you that they're voting for you to stay. Guess what every single week that was a lie. That was It wasn't a unanimous vote to stay. So you don't really trust anyone. And I didn't feel comfortable enough opening up on live television and just like having my heart shattered for someone

who was using you for a half million dollars. If you wanted me, you can call me afterwards. Yeah to good approach. So before we going on a Big Brother, you were in cyber security, right, do you still work in cybersecurity? I do? Yeah? Oh say nice. So you you're you're one of the few people that go on reality to well, not one of the few, I'm sure there are plenty and plenty, uh present company excluded. I would say that go on reality TV and then go

back to their careers afterwards. That's great. I did a little trend. So I was a cybersecurity engineer prior to Big Brother, and then I moved into an account executive role, so I sell what I used to be an engineer of prior, but I'm still in the Yeah, oh so you're probably great for like demos and stuff like that. Yeah, that's exactly what I do. Nice dude, that's awesome. So you were on after being on Big Brother, what you

want to do reality TV? Again? The way that I look at reality TV is it's no different and if it head hunter hit me up for another job, I am always open to a conversation for another opportunity. If I think that that opportunity is better than my current situation, I will absolutely do it. I've chatted with tons of other shows. I've chatted with tons of other jobs, and

it just at it's it's all about timing. So like when I did Big Brother, I was already on my way out the door in the position that I was in, I was leaving. I got frustrated at a manager that sucked at the time. They hit me with a super unique opportunity, and I was like, you know what, screw it, Like let's do it. And then I ended up going back in and getting a different manager and doing doing

different stuff. But that's the way that I see It's actually that's actually kind of been something that's been like it's bitten me in the butt with future jobs was they were always worried. They're like, well, if we hire you, we're just gonna bail and like go do another TV show. And the way that I look at it and you're like, well yeah, well, I mean it's no different than if if another company hits me up and goes Brett, I'm gonna double your salary. You can bet your sweet ass

I'm walking like I'm definitely gonna go. But it's it's completely opportunity driven. I've also talked to plenty of shows that wanted me, and the terms were just so terrible and horrible that I was like, dude, I like I don't need this, Like I really don't. Like I'm open to it and it's cool, but I don't have to do this. Are you at liberty to say what show? What kind of the shows would you be interested in doing? Maybe say that instead, what kind of shows that would

be like really pretty open? I'm really pretty open to most shows, like I mean, like within reason, like I'm not doing Naked and Afraid or Dating naked or like in the UK they got like this crazy show that like you show your genitals before the world in the UK, I forget I want to say, I forget the name of the show, but I swear to God you have like you have like a thing blocking you from the waist up and you only can see your genitals. There's five people standing in front of you and you can see.

It's not blurred at all. It is not blurred. You can see everything. And someone stands on stage and they have to pick who they want based on that. It's called Naked Attraction. Naked Attraction, that's the show. I think Kelsey in that case, I think it's good that you live into the rocks because no one wants well, I guess people want to see it. It's on television, so

watching it. Yeah, I would do anything. Like I like the competition shows because like I did pretty well on Big Brother, I think I would do well on a competition show. Um, I've never done a dating show. It depends on the format, man, Like some of those dating shows are pretty whack. But there are something that I would be open to doing, Like I love Love Island. Like I think Love Island is like the coolest show

in the way. The UK version is like my favorite. Yeah, let's let's pivot real quick and talk more about your TikTok. I've got questions for you. So you talk a lot about like dating and stuff on TikTok, right or not like not like dating per se, but more like how would you like how would you describe it? The way

that I describe it is just it's relatable. Like it's like really for me, like what resonates with someone that they're like, I love this TikTok so much that I want to like it or I want to comment on it, or I want to share it. Is just like I think everyone in the world has been through heartbreak at some point in their life at some or or let down or confusion and communication or something. And I just

like to be totally honest, man. When I made the first one and I was like, this is kind of relatable, and then I tried to branch away from it and nothing else would do well, and it was like I was like, if this is what the people want, Like I guess, I guess it's just relatable for sure. Yeah, idealized romance definitely sells well on those platforms. Um do you ever so? And you said earlier like your d

ms are closed on TikTok. So do you ever like, let's say you're out at a bar or something like that and you meet someone, have you ever had anyone like approach you and be like I felt like I love your tiktoks, like I follow you on TikTok, or that I will say the moment that I felt like I made it. I always get to get people to be like, oh my god, I love you from big Brother.

The moment that I had someone come up and they're like, I love you from TikTok, I was like, like I was like, I don't need Big Brother, Like I made it. I have a fan on my own. But yeah, I have definitely had people come up to me that recognize

me from TikTok. Yeah, why don't do you ever do like like collaborations, Like because there are like other TikTok content creators out there right to, like, why don't you like team up with one of these other TikTok creators and then you guys become like a super couple of sorts. To be honest, for the most part, it was just because I lived in locations that didn't have a ton of creators and like, like I previously lived in Boston. I previously lived in Austin, and I lived in Vegas

for a little bit. I only recently moved to l A on Halloween. Like I've been here a super short period of time. I have recently done some collaborations, but that was the first collaboration I've actually ever done. I don't know if my TikTok at all, but I did. And what was that one? I did right before? But I ran out of time, so I didn't get a look at a lot of it. Did a tick out. If you're familiar with Tanna Mojoe, I did a TikTok.

But yeah, tiktoks with Tanna Mojoe. I think those are my two most two of my three most recent tiktoks. My my entire TikTok feed is just like d I y stuff and dogs like that's entirely all I get personally, like what my TikTok feed is. But it's three of them, and it was you with your shirt off, playing like a slow song every time. Those are the three that

we saw. It's it's funny you say that because I actually avoid almost at all costs doing any content with my shirt off because it typically doesn't move as well. It really doesn't, because why do you think that is? I'll tell you exactly, because of your audiences guys, and if I'm hitting the heart with something relatable, like like something like I don't always say like when she broke your heart or when she did this, I'm just like

when that one person did something like. There are guys that relate to that too, but there are some guys that are just like like a girl will like another girl's bikini photo, a guy will not like another guy's photo with a shirt off unless you're like really good friends. Yeah, like really good friends. I will say that we did watch a couple of TikTok's and I was I was going on and on about your traps and how dreaming they are, the massive, very good traps that I also.

The other thing is like you always hear of these like like I feel like TikTok is super savage and Embarrasson Instagra, I'm like, they'll just delete your account, like they just don't like it, Like they'll just get rid of it. So I don't know, I always just get like nervous that there's what about what about like dating apps? Are you on any of those. No, I'm not really all right. Maybe I'm like the weirdest freak of this generation. And this is just like a part like I have

nothing against dading apps. I think for like most people, like, that's wonderful you moved to a new city when you meet someone. In my book, for me, if I can if there's a day where I can't go to a bar and walk up to a girl that I'm interested in just say head, love to get dinner with you, then there's something in need that I need to fix that I'm so scared that I have to hide behind the phone. Yeah, I mean that's that's that sounds logica. My most viewed TikTok. This is the difference between me

and you Bread. It's me in a hotel room watching Tom Brady where a backwards snap back and it's that oh boner alert. It's a good one. I was very proud of that lab Jared. Is that what you're saying, dude, I'm down? You let you let me and my wife

actually know I am down. You know what's funny about TikTok and it makes me when I was watching your videos, it's crazy because you can put britt I'm sure you've you've recognized this is that you can put so much effort into a video and really think that it's so good and so perfect and you did such a good job,

and it lays flat. And then you'll do a video where it's just a sound over for eight seconds and it's literally just like you filming yourself, and that one will get a million views, and it's like, what the hell, this is ridiculous. I do know exactly what you're talking about.

I'm definitely familiar with that, and it's just the name you Also, the other funny thing about TikTok is you never know what side like because if you're doing something polarizing, like obviously there's an audience that agrees on one pole, or there's an audience that disagrees on another pole, or and sometimes I'll do things and I'm like, oh no, like people will totally relate to this, and like I'll just get a ton of hate from like the polar

opposite side. So you might just hit a different, like a different side of TikTok that you didn't know existed, and I'm like, Okay, this was not received appropriately, Like I'm gonna just take this down, Like this was misinterpreted. So where do you think the future of TikTok lies? Like, what what is TikTok in five years? Is it like Instagram, you know, where it just completely continues to blow up? Is it like, what's the what was the the app that blew up last year? Not chat room that he

was though, um camp fire or something like that. No, it was oh house, like clubhouse was the thing and now it's nowhere to be found. So do you think TikTok is going more in that direction or like in the direction of Instagram where it's just going to continue going up and up and up and up. I think it'll absolutely I think TikTok is absolutely the future. I think anyone who's a creator is completely not doing that. They're doing themselves a disservice if they're not on it.

I absolutely think that TikTok, even for like brand collaborations, just for like getting an audience, I think TikTok is the future. I think the reason that TikTok is absolutely killing Instagram is you get personality, like you actually like you can only get so much out of photo and unless you're an absolute supermodel that like everyone in the world just wants to like look and all at You're just so limited what you can do within a photo. Yeah,

thousand percent. It's it's so crazy, man, this whole new world of social media. And I'm just trying to just post videos of Tom Brady on there, you know. And Kelsey just launched her TikTok though, can you give her some tips on how she can blow up? Come on? So I kind of give you a little bit there, like if you have something that if it's not broke, don't fix it. Like if you have something it's like working and TikTok and it does like keep going with that.

Like in like I said, I tried to like branch away from like doing like like the heart related stuff, and every time I did, it would just flop and I was like whatever, man, Like I guess this is

this is my past, this is my journey now. Like heard, when you look at a TikTok or when you're making a TikTok, you need to sit back and say, what is gonna make someone love this so much that like would you look at this and send it like texted to your best friend or would you look at this and like texted or would you tag your like whoever you're talking to, if you're if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, whoever it is, like, would you tag them in this? And like this is so us, Like what

would trigger you to share this? Because likes are limited, comments don't do as much as you think shares. If you can get someone to share a TikTok, that's how. That's the difference between like a hundred thousand and like

a million or two million or three. Like my highest TikTok was like binge eating trash food all day and I think every mother in the Middle America was like I eat oreos during the middle of the day too, Like I totally really, Well, there you go if you're listening to this, and Kelsey, I hope you're listening to because I'm sure you would have to pay for that advice anywhere else. So Brett, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Be sure to follow Brett

on TikTok. Brett, what's your TikTok handle? It is Brett W. Robinson on all platforms. Perfect, So if you're listening to this, go follow Brett W. Robinson on TikTok on Instagram. I'm sure on Twitter as well. Um, we hope it's not too long until we see on our TV again. Definitely won't be long until we see on TikTok again. Brett, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Thanks, guys, you gonna thank you. Thanks Brett. All right, welcome back

to help I suck at dating. And of course we have a very special guest is back with us this week. It is your favorite, our favorite. It is Mark. I'm gonna screw up your last name, dude, Moletski. Oh my gosh, such respect. Um, No, that's not how you say my name. But that's okay, but not hold on, hold on, I don't how many years have we known each other now? Do not? Solid? Three? At least? That's it, Dean, Dean nailing it. Hey, listen, I show up on time, okay,

fair enough. And when we send you on my die you know where it is. All right, we'll hop out an email. This one strikes me as um somewhat above our pay grade. But let's see what I can do for Tyler. Tyler says, my girlfriend is struggled with depression on and off throughout her life, but recently she's been going through a really hard time. She barely sleeps, or eats or even speaks to me. I want to be there for her, but this is the first time I've seen her like this, and I think she needs more

help than I can give her. Every time I bring up the topic of seeing a therapist or going on meds again, she says she doesn't want to talk about it. I want to respect her boundaries, but I'm starting to get concerned. How do I approach having a conversation with my girlfriend about getting help for her mental health without making her feel a cornered or put on the spot. Any advice would help, uh? Well, first and foremost, I think it's great that he's even asking this question. Um, Kelsey,

I want to hear what you think. What do you think about this? That's a tough one, UM. I have friends and family that struggle with very bad depression, and it's never an easy topic to bring up to them. Um. But I'm a firm believer, and if someone doesn't want to get help, you can't help them. So you can be there for them, you can support them, but at the end of the day, if they're not wanting to

get better help themselves, there's only so much you can do. Um, So when it comes down to it, you either just have to be there for them and love them and support them, or you have to make the decision and walk away. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's that's pretty good advice. What do you think is? I think it's just I agree with Mark. This is definitely above our pay grades.

Like you know, definitely still continue to try to see is you can go see a therapist or get some help, um, because you know you don't want to see anybody go through, especially your significant other. I would say it's something that might help Tyler is if you suggest that maybe you guys go to therapy together instead of having heard just go on her own. Maybe there's some way you can suggest about you guys going together and doing this together as a couple. Maybe that will entice her to help you.

Should I answer it? On? Oh God, shall dispute myself. Ye see who it is? Come on, I'll just coffee house allounge. This is jaredy but help you? Are this going fresh today? Yes? We can do it to go on her? Oh my gosh, absolutely hold on one second, excuse me, folks, I have two two aco to go on? Er So talk amongst yourself over wow wow wow. Um. Okay, well,

Jared's got bigger fish to pry. I guess um. I do want to say, though, I agree with what Jared is saying, I also really agree with what Kelsey is saying to you can't kind of force someone to go to therapy. In my personal experience, I've been to therapy like three different stints in therapy. The first two were urged to buy well, the first one by my parents, the second one by my dad and I was like

a teenager. And then the third one I finally went to on my own accord, Like I was the one that made the conscious decision to go to therapy, and the first two stints like didn't have any benefit whatsoever. I hated it. I didn't want to be there. I was angry at everyone for making me be there in the first place, and you get nothing out of it. And then by the time I finally decided that I want to go there on my own terms, I like

benefited so much from it. So I fully agree with what Kelsey is saying, like, if you're going against your will, you're not really going to get much out of it. But then what Jared said, I think was great, like suggesting that they go to therapy together. I think is

a really good solution for that. I do too. My question is would this make things better or worse if you were to go to someone else who notes or like maybe her mom or dad, not to like team up an intervention with her, because I feel like that would go badly, but maybe gets some advice from them because they've probably been through this with her many times on what he should do. Is there a way into hers there, maybe there's some advice from other people who

know her. Yeah, I think, Uh, well, Kelsey, what do you think? I think that if you trust the family and their opinion and know that they have her best interests in your best interests at heart, then absolutely should go and try to figure out a way to make this situation better. But I've personally been in situations where um, I don't get along with my significant other's family, and then it can cause more of an issue. So I

think it's all based off the circumstance. Yeah, and I will say too, I think that part of the one of the benefits of having a therapist is that they're so far disconnected from the situation. So they can kind of give like unbiased impartial advice, which is huge. Like family members obviously have so much bias involves the in the you know, their opinions and all those things. So I almost think it's like never a bad idea maybe to bring in a family member that is always looking

out for the best of the person. But I think a therapists purpose is so specific and like that third unbiased party perspective is super key in my opinion. But um, I mean, Mark, I don't disagree with what you're saying. I just think that there's like a different different situations for each thing you order. Is is is so busy that all the operators were busy and Jared had to take

a call. I mean, just take the call. I'm very excited for Mark to listen back to this voice memo because he will see he will hear me take the order of the b L t Ambrioch with mayonnaise, And I gave him a nice detailed explanation of the chips that we use on the side at the end like a little Easter egg for everyone that sticks through the credits, and we have a pickle if you eat it uh in in the coffee shop in the in the restaurants, I don't get to pick the order, not on the

to go order. No pickle because pickle to go it's like what we wrap it up in a lotting foild. I no, no pickles to go. It's inscentivizes. Yeah, like Jimmy John's all to go. Pickles at Jimmy John's are so good. All right, let's get to the next email. Alright, alright, alright, alright. I like Dean's idea. I'll put the I'll put the order at the end of the episode if you want to listen through. Yeah, alright, next email. This is from anonymous. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now and

he's great. We met on a dating app and we're doing long distance, only an eight hour drive away. Not bad not bad are very different. What is what is bad? If that's not what is bad? I have always wanted to be with someone who prioritizes me, but my boyfriend is starting to suffocate me. He never hangs out with his friends anymore. He always wants to FaceTime every night,

talk all day, etcetera. It's getting to the point where you started to lose his ends, and I'm starting to resent him for taking up too much of my time. I want him to prioritize me what it matters, But I also want if they have our own lives. How do I bring this up to him without hurting his feelings? Have you ever felt like this, I'm gonna take a back seat here, you guys go, well this email Anonymous.

I'm sure you're a very nice human being, and you listen to help my suck a dating, so you obviously have great taste. I'm I'm curious if you talk about this with your boyfriend and then your boyfriend does take a back seat and stops giving you so much attention, if you're going to regret your decision, and then you're gonna miss all the attention that you're were getting. So what I would say is just be careful what you ask for, because if you're asking for less attention, be

prepared to get less attention. That's all I would say. Okay, so that really was very helpful, Kelsey, What do you think? I agree? But at the same time, too, you have to have your own life, like your relationship shouldn't be just the tub, Like you have to have your own things for yourself. Otherwise, like I understand you get suffocated because I've been in a relationship like that, so I understand where she's coming from. Um, but she just needs

to have a conversation with him. Yeah, I agree with that. I mean even even right now, for instance, I'm in Las Vegas by myself. Caitlin is in Los Angeles by herself because I was like, listen, I we just spent Christmas with my family. We were just in Columbia with a bunch of our friends. I just need to go and be alone. I just need to be alone by myself for like a day and a half. And she

was like, great, see you later. I think just by like telling them, like, just tell the other person, like, I just need some space, just a little bit of time, just like to decompress. That's how I recharged my batteries.

I've always been this way. Um. And if they like don't respond to it, well, then maybe that's not necessarily the right person for you, because in my opinion, that's like one of the biggest biggest factors in any relationship is like, is the person that you're dating going to like give you the space that you need when you ask for it? And if they say no, or if they say yes and don't follow through with it, then like, then that's going to be your life for the rest

of your life. If you stay with this person, so be clear and like do it, and if they don't honor what you're asking for, then either you know, press them on a little harder, or you know, start to find an exit strategy if you will. I guess it might be a little harsh, but that's how I feel about it. I'm like you, Deene, I need time to myself to like I can be together for an extended period of time, but then after that I need my alone time. Or I just I mean, I don't understand

how people don't love being alone. Like being alone is one of the best things in the world. I agree for a short period of time, I totally agree. I like my alone time. The only point I was making is that I've just just you know, be prepared for less attention. That's all because I feel like I've seen this. I've seen this before where my friends are like they're too suffocating. I need like, I need time, I need space.

They asked for space, they get space, and then they feel like the other person is stopped has stopped caring about them because they're like, well, now he's not doing this or now he's not doing that, and it's like, well, what do you ask for? Space? What do you want? So I would just say, you know, try to find that middle ground, as difficult as that is. What if they asked specifically for the pickle. What if they really like, they say, can I just please have a pickle because

they're delicious at at Audrey specifically? What would you do? What if they really wanted to pickle chaired? What if you want two pickles two pickles. They come up and they beg for a pickle. I'll give him the pickle, but you try to get the two pickles. Do you know how much pickles are? They're not cheap pickles that I buy. If I eat in the restaurant, I get a free pickle. If I get a pickle to go, do I have to pay for the pickle? No? But if you ask for two pickles, you're paying for that

second pickle. It's fair listen listening to help I suck your dating. If you really want to pickle from Audrey's Cocktail Lounge, you have to specifically ask for it for tack for it's a. It's a marketplace called Belmont. It's a local marketplace. They're very good locally. Pickles, you know, yeah, no, no, no, like uh, I don't even know what type of pickle would that be called. It's like a cucumber, the gherkin? Is that a gherkin? Pickle? Aren't cucumbers? Pickles and pickles cucumbers?

They are, but it's like a how they're made. I don't know. Pickles and cucumbers. That's the name of this episode, pickles and cucumbers. All right, Well, I think that's probably gonna just about do it for this episode. What do you guys think? Yeah, I gotta sell some pickles all there? Great, Jared's got pickles, Kelsey's got maybe pickles and marks probably a good. Thank you guys so much for joining us

for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? Kelsey, we are thank you so much for being our co host with us this week. Um. We hope that next time we talked to you we get a lot more of an inside scoop on what's going on through dating life, because hopefully there's a lot more to share. We'll see. Hey, by the way, I just saw your birthday. You were born fourteen days before I was, so yeah, we're team Mary's.

That's awesome. That's right, that's right. Um big thank you to Brett Robinson for joining us on this podcast this week. Don't forget to check out his TikTok's Brett W. Robinson on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, all that kind of stuff. Tyler. Hopefully you figure it out with your girlfriend. It sounds like she's in a tough spot, but it sounds like you're a good guy. So hopefully guys be able to

figure it out together. Um Mark, thanks for reading our emails, and uh, I guess there's nothing left to say, so maybe next week we'll stuck just a little bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast. All right, what can I get for you? Yeah? Of course it usually comes on brioche bread. Um, do you want that? We could also do chibbatta, We could do wheat bread wrap. Did you want to add anything to it? Obviously just comes

with the biggest lessons man. And I don't know if you want to cheese or mayonnaise or anything we do as sided chips. Sure, it's just to be able t embrios with mayonnaise and a bagg of chips on the side. Yeah, it'll be ready in five to ten minutes. Thanks man.