Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, thank you for joining us on another non April Fools episode of Help I Suck At Dating. You've got your usual suspects in studio today, starting with me, Younglert, Vanessa Grimaldi in studio. Can you guys talk or am I just gonna be talking about I'm teasing these long breaks I'm seeing when Tara does it, he says in the Beautiful and he just like, yeah, I just really get you going. So
you're ready to go for the podcast. I'm extending my my periods of silence so you guys can introduce yourselves. Well, I just flew in. Guys, I don't even know where I am right now or what time it is. You're on the Almost Famous podcast and he's Ashley and on beds again. Yeah, all over again. We'll welcome to a new episode of Help by Second Dating. The three of us are all in studios, so hopefully sound qualities a
little bit better. This week, we have a special guest who is a little under the weather today, so she's going to call in, but she goes by the name of gig Gorgeous and it's something that we've been campaigning. At least Vanessa and I have been campaigning for a little bit now, and I've been campaigning you have, and Vanessa and I have been more vocal about campaigning for I am I. I want Gig on the podcast, not just Gi specifically, but it's always good to get different perspectives.
So Gi Gorgeous, for those that don't know, is a transgender essentially a supermodel. It seems like stunning, stunning, beautiful woman. Um who She's a big part of the l g B t Q community. UM she is notoriously known for trans being a transgender from a man to a woman. She's very open and honest about that. So she's gonna be on the podcast a little bit later. Book that she's going to talk abouts are big on YouTube. She has a big YouTube following. She has a documentary where
she from. Oh you you know you want me to say where she's from, So I actually want to ask her because it does say Montreal, because I did, like, I did do like a little bit of research. I'm like, wait, when she was diving in her documentary, I'm like, that looks like Lord Jobian, which is right next to my house. I'm sorry that France, Okay, So I'm don't to ask her if that if she's actually from Montreal, if she grew up in Toronto. But she's Canadian and that makes
me really happy. And she's studying and has such an amazing story, So very excited for her to call in. But before we get to that, that's gonna be later on in the episode. Obviously we're blessed with Vanessa's presence in studio today. Vanessa, why are you in studio? So? We had the wine tour with I Heart Radio? Where was that in Napa Valley? Dean? Where were you? Oh? Not there? Why weren't you there? But you're too cool for school? It's not can't travel their over here just
to hang out with me? Yeah, two days before, did your boyfriend come with you? No, he didn't because he's in Uh he wasn't Toronto. Oh well, that's okay. And who's all there? Jared Ashley, Vanessa ben Wells. As you said earlier, the usual suspects, suspect Blank Blake is going to be there. Yeah, Derek Pets but Blake. You know, it's somebody that we just saw this past weekend. But it's somebody that you should be seeing. Well just in a couple of months, get down in a beach in Mexico.
Really great transition, man. Yeah, I try any updates on that? About that I message you, remember, I got so mad at did I tell you everything? Why didn't you tell me? You said, just a paradise? No, no, no, no. This is what Vanessa does. Vanessa text me and says, Dean, I tell you everything. I can't believe you didn't tell me this big secret, and that's it. And then it cuts off and I said I was like, I was like, what did she find out? Um? And then she goes,
you're going to Paradise. You didn't tell me. Nothing is confirmed, you guys, so hold on. So that means you didn't say no. I haven't said yes either, committed, I don't. I don't know. So if you were to go on Paradise, what would you would you be going on for fun? For to gain followers, to find love. That's kind of why I get to give an answer, because I haven't
really figured out what I want out of anything. Great for our podcast, just take one from a business perspective, fantastic, we'll get We'll get a couple of extra listeners for a couple of extra weeks while the season is airing. Totally worth it, right, Yeah, yeah, well yeah for you guys, it's it's a zero risk, zero risk for you. I just really hope that you pull up into Paradise with your van, drive down there, take a little road trip. Instead of coming down the stairs, you just pull up
right in front of the stairs. I was thinking about of the van. I was actually thinking about this, like, if I were to go through with Paradise. You guys know that I got my sky diving license, how cool would it be the skydive onto the beach? Yeah, that seems like it's that beach is quite such a bachelor move. Though it would be pretty bad. Isn't dangerous to skydiving water as well? Well, there's just like winds that come off the water over the land that are kind of dangerous.
But at that point I'll have enough jumps to where I'm comfortable doing that. We don't want Yeah, yeah, but no, like nothing is confirmed. I don't know what do you guys think. Obviously, you guys both want me to do it. I want you to do it. If you're to do it and not end up regretting it. Did you ender
regretting the last time? Well, one time you went. The thing that is different this time around is going into every show, I've been in a mindset that I haven't really been in that I am now like going into Bachelor mindset is up. Going to the Bachelorette, I was open to new opportunities, not really sure what would come from it, um looking for, like to mix up my life in spite of my life a little bit. So
that was my mindset going into that. Going into Paradise, the first Bachelor Paradise immediate following Bachelorette, I was like in a weird place, you know. I just came off Bachelorette, like literally three weeks prior um, Like financially, I wasn't really comfortable all that kind of stuff, and I didn't really know what was gonna come of all of this. And then going into Bachelor Winter Games, my headspace was
all messed up. Obviously. I was so kind of um torn up from my Bachelor and Paradise experience, and I figured going into Winter Games might help me get over that. Obviously that's not the case. And so for the first time out of any of the Bachelor's shows again. If I were to do Bachelor in Paradise, which not confirming nor denying anything right now, um, it would be the first time where like I'm fully saying, like fully comfortable with who I am, not like hung up on anything
in the past. Uh like almost like a fresh start. Not even a fresh start, but it's like I'm finally like happy, Like financially speaking, I'm good, emotionally speaking, I'm good mentally speaking, I'm good like all of these things. And so it's like for that reason, it would kind of be like, okay, like maybe we can give us a go, where like everything is kind of running on
all cylinders. I just want you to go because I feel like so many past contestants that have turned down Paradise look back and say, why the hell did I say no? Like it's well, they keep asking me. They asked me again this well, one of the producers. Every time I hear from her, I'm like, oh my god, I like it's been so long, so excited to hear from you. And then I like, you just want me
to know, you want to know if I'm single. And so I was asked again for this season, and of course it's a compliment because like once I'm you know, once they stop asking, it's like, well, you're kind of like old new old news, don't really wants anymore. So I'm like, no, I'm gonna I'm happily in a relationship now, you know, I don't. I mean, I can't predict the future, but I do suppose that I will still be with him come summertime. So I'm maybe I can give out
a date card. It would be cool. I mean, give some dating advice podcast on dating. From the production standpoint, I don't really see why they would be exactly makes sense. Hey, put it out there. You never know what's gonna happen.
The challenging thing, too, is essentially for me go to going to if I were to go to Paradise, Like I'm a I'm a pretty controversial figure, I think in terms of Bachelor Nation, So it's like that could go either way for me, in terms of a girl being like kind of uh drawn to that or just completely going to block me up. But those are things, those are things that are such outside of your control that
you can't say yes or no because of that. Yeah, I guess, but it's like sometimes you might not even get a fair shot just because of what you've been labeled from the past. I think if somebody doesn't give you a fair shot because of how you were labeled and past, that person is not for you anyway. That's fair now and now you wouldn't want to be with that person anyway. Did you slide into anyone's damns UM season? Well, we had Brion the podcast back in UM we talked
a little bit. But did you hang out outside of talking on social media? No? Not yet, not yet, but kalyn s yours a long time ago. That's been obviously there. I'm not gonna like, yeah, a few of them have slid into my d m oh so more than just two of them. Yes, I'm not gonna name names obviously, but it's like, can you give us the first letter? Maybe their initially absolutely not. I got to tease it
a little bit, but that's that's what I'm saying. It's like, Okay, sure, I guess it would be still fun to go to the beach and hang out with people. I mean, look, Melbie came out of it and she ended up becoming
friends with people. Yeah, I don't know. I also kind of like as great as the Bachelor franchise has been to me and to all of us, I kind of like want to remove myself from it makes sense, you know, Like I don't want to be known as Dean from The Bachelor, unbeknown as like Dean the guy that does cool things and travels all over the world. Yeah. I
don't know. It's just there's a lot of conflicting ideas that like someone are encouraging me to do it, and some are saying me for me not to do it, And again maybe like I'm not even desire to go back from a production standpoint a like no one's asked me from the production side of things lying, So it's like who the hell knows seen from the Bachelor. Hey, listen, try being known as Mr Ashley. I, Um, you're Mr Connetti, Mr i Connetti. Well, no, that's weird because that's Actuley's
dad's name. Because I still get I still get a congratulations on your engagement. That's kind of depressing. I'm sorry about that that. I know we've talked about this, and I'm sure you actually talked about it. But when you guys get married, it's gonna be Ashley high Bond. But she's still gonna go by. I think she's gonna obviously she wants to change her name, um, but she's definitely gonna still go by. I think Ashley I as her like you know, but like her name. I don't even
not say that. Her driver's license will still say government her government name. Change her name at some point, yeah, but we're talking to Jade about that, because Jade actually didn't legally change her name to Tolbert. I think till like a year afterwards, I think she said, And so who knows will happen, but well, you know, we'll do that well when we get that. I've always been very very pro taking my wife's last name, but now kids would have your wife's last name. Yeah, so it could
be like Dean Grimaldi. I've always I've always been pro that, but now it's weird because like similar to actually I canetti, like Ungler is so unique that there's only I'm the only de Ungler on the entire planet, you know what I mean, There's just aren't many Unglers. It's like a very unique lass name. Yeah. Um, And so like if say Mary h a girl with a very more like a much more common last name, like he kind of lose the identity a little bit, like the note, not
the notoriety, but like the like the viduality. So that's like the only thing that would maybe inhibit me considering that. Now, I agree with that as well, because I feel bad because Ashley and Lauren are the last two I Canetti's, so like the I Canettie name will die. That's the thing. I have two older brothers and so they're probably gonna have kids at some point, so the Ungler name will live on. Well that's nice. That's a nice security blanket I have. Yeah, But for me, I think the Haybond,
the Haybond name will live on. There's how many times I'm making a mispronounce your name a bond hie Hi like a pastry. Well, another question I have for you, Dean and Vanessa as well, is that listen, you might go down to Paradise. Who knows, you might meet somebody. I remember my season of Paradise Grant in lace when they got together, they got matching tattoos of each other.
You guys remember this at all? Yeah, yeah, a little premature because obviously it didn't work out unfortunately, and they got the matching tattoos, So I don't know if you just change that. What are your guys thoughts about couples getting matching tattoos. I am the cheesiest person ever, so of course I'm gonna say yes to matching anything, matching outfits,
matching tattoos. I like the idea. Can we say that there's a big difference between matching outfits and matching if I'm if I'm seriously going to be with someone for the rest of my life, then why not. I don't have a tattoo, and I would love to get one, and I think it'd be a meaningful thing if my significant other, my husband, and I end up getting something that's match Yeah, I'm not you guys know me. I get a bunch of dump tattoes all the time, So
another tattoo. Really, it's not that it's meaningless to me. It's it's not as big as a step ye. And I guess you can always switch it up if it's I guess you could change it, but it is kind of permanent. I mean, you can get it removed, but it won't there be a scar there. So it's kind of like a right well for for you guys, because neither of you have tattoos, right, I don't have any tattoos I have like I think I kind of the other have like nineteen tattoos, So what do you have nineteen? Well,
they're just kind of all the spread. Yeah, theyre random. But I'm saying it, from nineteen to twenty tattoos isn't as big of a deal as from zero to one tattoo, you know what I mean. So it's like, sure, I'll
get your name tattooed to my butt totally. It makes a difference if I got a tattoo of actually be very significant because it's my first tattoo at But now that I'm thirty, I kind of go back and forth through I want to get a tattoo at this point after thirty years later, you get it somewhere that you can't visibly see it. So don't get like the Superman asked on my chest? Is that what you're saying? But with the butt cheek left or right, you Vanessa, I'm
having to do. I'm never wearing tattoos. It doesn't have to be at the same spot, just the same. I have matched tattoos with some of my best friend ends. My uh John butler TiO tattoo and my HHS tattoo in my carpet knocked him tattoo. What's three best friend tattoos?
What's the car My one of my best friends in high school got carpet d M on his hip, and me and my other best friend when we were in college were like making fun of him, like, creiks such a loser for getting carpet dum on his hip, which we get to make fun of him. And so instead of getting carpet DM, we got carpet knocked him on the same spot, which means I'm sure you can surmize what carpet Knocktom means if you know what carpet dum means, I don't carpet dum sees the day carpet knocked him,
of course, would then mean seized the night. So you make him sarcastically getting a tattoo on the same location. Ye, yep, we definitely want to exchange. Nineteen year old Dean is super proud of that one. Um. Well, if you get matching tattoos, do they have to be in the same spot. So, for example, hypothetically speaking Dean and Vanessa, you guys end up getting married. Uh, would you get like a tattoo? Are like Dean? If you got a tattoo in your forearm and you wanted to get a matching tattoo, I
wouldn't get on my farm. I don't think i'd be matching, to be honest, ankle, but like, is it matching tattoos if you get the same exact tattoo, but yours is on your ankle and Dean yours is on your hand. Yes, yeah, that's fair. I don't know these things I would like to be. I think I would like it should be exactly at the same spot. I don't know if I would get I think like it would be cute if I got a star and she got a moon or something like that. You know, like it wouldn't be exactly matching,
but like same significant best friends. So like Vanessa would have the key and you'd have the lock. Yeah, well I would have the key and you done the lock. Yeah, well, whichever one you guys decide on. Oh yeah, I guess I would have a lock. Yeah, I got hold on. Everybody's trying to get ready for summer, to feel confident at the beach. I'm definitely trying to do that as well. I've been trying to eat healthier, which is why I
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thirty thirty. Check it out today. UM, how do you guys feel about nicknames for your significant others? I so this is this is the first relationship I'm in and that I don't call him babe. I love that, yeah, because I find of like everyone calls each other. The baby's the most uninspired nickname of all times. So he has salt and pepper hair, more salt than peppers, I call him salt. Would baby considered a nickname because they're
not calling the person by their first name? Yeah, but I feel like, wait, I just realized nickname No, um, I just feel like babe is like a term thrown around. I would to consider a nickname, like, for example, a nickname, Well, what is the definition of a nickname? A nickname is like something endearing? Yeah, I don't So what do you call Ashley babe? Really? Sometimes I call it just like I don't have Like I don't say pumpkin, Like my dad calls my mom and my specifically my sister pumpkin.
That's cute, or uh, what does he call her? Oh? He called her one thing is so embarrassing one time she was a teenager. He called her like schnook ms or something like that. Yeah, when you're a teenager, you don't your first name and anything. But it was so I think now I think back upon it, Like dad, I think it's the first when a couple has names that they call each other that only they referred to them as, you know, something short, something simple, but something
like kind of like almost sarcastic in a sense, but cute. Yeah, something that has a meaning behind it. Yeah, I agree with that one. Josh had no idea what salt meant when I when I called him that, but um well, I said salt in a text mess and he actually googled it to figure out, like what does salt mean? And I'm like, no, it's just a nickname I gave you. But in the movie with Angelina, Jelly popped up, why is that a movie? Right with Salt? Or it's called
Salt with Angela need to watch movies? What nicknames have you given your exes? I feel we're talking about that because they might hear this and then you know, but it's like it's original names. Yeah, but the problem is too, I'm sure you guys, you really so you don't reoccur, you don't use never. Well, here's the thing. So that's why I think babe is not a nickname because it just blanket terms like the one that you love. I just I think it's inspired. It's like, be a little
bit more creative than that, you know. Yeah, but I don't like, what's something that makes Ashley Ashley in your eyes? What makes Ashley Ashley in your eyes? Yeah? Her over exaggeration, So yeah, I would call it like Coco Puffs or something you want me to call Ashley Coops. I honestly think that's a good, right suggestion, and we can maybe like more of like a Captain crunch guy. But but actually is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs PUFs, No, no, no no,
I'm she's the Coco Puffs and I'm cuckoo for Coco Pups. Okay, there you go. So she's Coco Puffs and for her. I got it. We just created a game. You're welcome. So I'm trying to create actually a nickname for Dean right now, but it's getting hard, you know, do you know? I would say, I googled nicknames and there's a name generator website where you can create a nickname for someone and so, okay, it's asking for three adjectives that describe
him or her. So what are three adjectives that described Dean? This is a fun game, handsome, that's about it. Yeah, I'm thinking you're very good look I would say, um, like, I hate saying that, but you're you're just so uniquely good looking. I gotta put it. Appreciate that. There you go. I'm so happy that you accept the compliments very unexpectedly patical, like he doesn't well now he's starting to shower with soap and stuff. But it's very like earthy like that,
like a mountain man. Mountain man, so handsome, earthy and my personality. I feel like this is very witty, all right, I mean, I guess that's how post Malone got his name. Are you serious? Oh? Can we do me after all? Right? Here we go? So some some nicknames for Deanie, dusky Dean, dead pan Dean, Dean, the drool Dean, the droll excuse me, uh, dreamy Dean, dashing Dean, Dean, the darling. I kind of like that one, down to earth Dean, darring Dean, delightful
Dean um. And that's kind of it right now. Oh, here we go everything that starts with the dean. These are all initial based nicknames, allations. How about do you? Yeah? I go by do you? Well, I don't go by to you. I'm sorry, but those are my initials, so of course you have. But do you kind of sounds cool? Do you coming? You know? I used to funny coming to the stage. This can actually kind of exemplify who
I am as a person now. When I was in elementary school, I made people call me d d you you like double du w, And what I said it stood for was deaned dumb ugly anglert. And it's just funny to think about how now I'm still the same self deprecating that I was even when I was five years ago. I'm reading this book called the Happiness Equation, and in one chapter it says, how do you gain
confidence and how do you gain respect from other people? Well, one of the reasons why people will what you feel where people could either look down upon you or make fun of your whatever, is because you allow that window of opportunity because you're self deprecating totally. It's kind of like when it's accepting the love that you think you deserve. But here's but here's let's let's flip it around real quick. Um, have you guys ever made fun of me to my face? No,
because I'm because I'm make fun of my time. But I'm saying, if you make fun of yourself enough, then other people aren't going to make fun of you. Know what. It's like a defense mechanism, exactly stop it. And it's it's a sign of humbleness. Yeah, humility when it's when it's too much. It's not when it's too much, it's a lack of self confidence. Now you're trying to overcompensate. I agree with you to a certain extent. What I can't stand is when people make fun of themselves for
things that they know, um are just not true. For example, if Dean was like if Dean made fun of himself constantly because he said, I'm oh, God, I just hate
my face. I think I'm so ugly, but shut up exactly because he's fishing for compliments because he knows he's good looking, but he's actually self deprecating about things that he's insecure about, which I like because I've met other guys who are strikingly good looking, Like, for example, I would never say to myself, God, I hate my jaw, like I'm confident enough to know that's one part of me that I'm confident in. Yeah, like God, I had this awful like just double chin. It's it's just not see.
I get the opposite though, because I'm a female and I'm so insecure about my weight, I always think I'm way too skinny. Like yesterday, I was out with my boyfriend and well, well, actually no, I wasn't because this is I was in the wine tour. So last week I was out with my man and man man is that a nick my man? No? Right, I don't think babe is. I don't think my man is because that's like to ownership. Ye. So anyways, that was shopping. I'm like, oh my god. Every hour I'm like, I have to eat.
I have to eat something. I'm getting too hungry because in my head, I come from an Italian background and you have to be a little bit like I'm considered way too skinny in my culture. So when people come up to me, to me and they're like, oh my god, you lost so much weight, I get so insecure. But I can't talk. But I can't talk about it as a female because I get told, what are you guys laughing at? No, No, we're listening. He's generating a name,
a nickname for you right now. Dean is and the adjectives that he put in were boobs, god, I don't even have boobs hot and was the third one family family? Okay, great, So what do we generate for nicknames for Essa? But my favorite one is Vanessa the JJ Oh, but I don't like these alliterate of nicknames. I think they're quite fun. And Penny, well it's not really a pun, it's just an alliteration. And that one anyway, Sorry, that was the best one. Vanessa the I'm sorry, Vanessa the Balls, Vaness
of the Vagina. I like Vanessa the jjjin. I don't understand how people think you're too skinny. Yeah, you're like the perfect way, thank you. But I just I've just found it just never compliment on a never comment on a girl's first I actually, I actually, um, I didn't talk to a friend of mine for about six months when he told me, He's like, you're way too skinny, like and and I was like, but here's the thing. If I say you're not skinny, then I'm basically saying, oh,
you're a little too heavy. You could stay in the loosen weight, you know what I mean, unless you say that she's the perfect. Way it happens in society is that we think going up to a female or to anyone really male or female and saying, wow, you look good, did you lose weight? How is that a compliment? Why does that have to be the compliment? Well, because if somebody was a little bit overweight prior. I think they
want to hear hey, but we don't know. Maybe that's what that's what society made us believe that we need to give us a compliment. But it's for me, it's not necessary. It's not a compliment. For a lot of people in my surround, in my social group, it's not a compliment either. I think for me, it all depends on the situation. Because if there's somebody who is overweight actively trying to lose weight and you notice it, I
would definitely compliment them on. I would compliment them just because I would want them to know that their work that they're putting in is showing dividends. Um, I just think thin is in. So I'm trying to drop some weight and I've actually put on a little bit of weight. So if if I go to Paradise, you don't look like it. Thank you so much, Jared, I really appreciate that. If you have you hold it well. If I go to Paradise perfect way, in the best shape of my life. There,
you're in great shape as well. We saw. Oh I am not alright perfectly. We have gig gorgeous calling in in about seven minutes. So what I want to do in the meantime before gig comes in. Is I have that little fun rapid Fire Question game that I love playing with Diana Vanessa because we just love finding out more about our beautiful host over here. This is honestly my favorite thing about this podcast. Perfect. Well, here we go. Hopefully it goes well. This is Rapid Fire Question ten
questions with and Vanessa, hosted by me Um. Here we go. Number one texting or talking? Talking? What year? I think we have this question like a different variation. Hate talking on the phone, person talking in person, connecting, looking into each other's eyes. I'm I'm a Texter because it's just like talking talking on the phone in such a commitment. Are you are? I feel like you're an extrovert. Introvert? Yeah,
I re charge your mind by myself. He being in public, Well, that's why you just traveled by yourself all the time to god knows where? Uh. Number two, what was the last song you downloaded on iTunes? Oh? Probably a song by Mahalia. I don't use iTunes that you Spotify Spotify. Last song you download on Spotify? Well, on Spotify, I like the Happy List, the Happy Hits, The Happy Hits, You're a very positive person for this. You're always optimistic about things. Oh god, no, I'm not really. I find
that you always find the silver lining. I'm very black and white. So when I'm really happy, I'm like and then when I'm really sad, let me be depressed, and I can go into a depressive state for like a day or two and like cry, not want to leave my place, and like anxiety kicks in. When I was coming out here, my separation, anxiety with my boyfriend was on another level, and I was asking you when I saw you, do you get that with Ashley? Oh yeah, all the time. We can talk more about that after Gigi,
So I'd love to talk more about it. Dean was the last song. It was waiting for the Alex Sholes remix. Very nice. Vanessa dri answer this. Yeah, it's like the Happy a song by Majelia. She's from London, England. The last song I downloaded was from the US soundtrack and it was the I Got five on it, but the Tethered mix. Did you see us recently? Yeah? I saw and there's this Day played the song and that like slow Heart horrific remix. I thought on Friday it was
good it's good. What's going on here? That was my bad. Yeah, I was spostly surprised by us. I'm a real whist when it comes to scary movies, and that one I wasn't really scared, but I was interested the whole time, you know what I mean. It's a very it sticks with you. It's certainly a movie that sticks with you,
all right. Number three Bachelor question. If you were in a disaster movie right now and you needed to pick one person from Bachelor family to be the star, the one to rescue you, for example, someone who to play the tom cruise, the rock, so on and so forth, man or woman, who would you choose has to be from Bachelor Taylor Nolan. Yeah, she's like the She's she's so incapable of rescuing you know, I'm physically impossible. Yeah,
for sure, maybe she would. She can be like, um, you know, I don't know, one of those superheroes that use their Here's the question that I follow a questions for that question, Jared, is is this person actively trying to rescue me? Or do they like If they don't like me, No, it doesn't matter. They just care about humanity and no matter what they like you or don't like you, they're going to try to save your life. Probably Chad. I was Chad too. Maybe it's just a
physique because of how strong he looks. He looks like he looks like he would just tear a building down his two hands or to move it out of the way. But the thing is that he's not very he's not very personally invested in me. I think it's pretty well known that both of us don't really like each other. So it's like, if he had to rescue me, would sure that's a good question though, because would he Because would would Chad rescue other people? Or would he just
bulldozed to save himself? I changed my mind. Actually, Alex Bortikov would be my choice. He's got he's got the emotional connection. You know, he wants to save my life because we love each other. And I think he could probably bea chat up in a fight too, So you would see how it's so funny. You guys went straight to physical and I went to mental. I'm like, oh, I know Taylor would like protect me, like emotionally and mentally physically. Forget it, that makes sense why Jared and
I would survive and you would not. My choice is My choice is pen Higgins because I think he would sacrifice himself for me, for all of us, really, because he's just that type of question. Number four, who is your first celebrity crush? Hand? Sorry? Wow, sorry Zach, And it's not your brother Zack Hanson. Zach Hanson, what you go first? Of you? And actually could have some long conversations about that. Really, Yeah, we did. That makes sense. Yeah, I don't know why I was so surprised by that,
go you go first of all. I think of mine. It's a tie. It's between to Pangaea or the Pink Ranger. Now I forget her name, but she was Susie Q in the Disney movie. Great movie. I want to say, like Kimberly Johnson, Kimberly Joe Hann something like that. No idea, maybe like rend from Even Stevens. Did you see that they're bringing Even Stevens back? I swear to godoting so many TV shows. I don't know if Shyla the Buff is going to be back. Uh, dude, I had I had a crush on rent to it. I got crap
for it. I had no idea why I think she's the cutest thing and Lizzie McGuire. Yeah, was there anybody else besides Taylor Hanson or Zack Zach Hanson? Excuse me? I actually had a crush on and I want to ask if she knows Alexander Petsy, who was an Olympic diver in Montreal, and I told him how to crush on him when I was like sixteen, that's pretty cool. Did he kne who you were? And now he no, he didn't know how it was back back, I was just like creeping him, like I was stalking him at
the at the gym. Would have been such a surreal moment if you went up to a guy that you had a crush on one of your five and he was like, hey, you're Vanessa from the Batch. It did happen to me? What happened? Rick Fox? That's right, you've told the story before. Did you mean Kimberly Hard or Amy Joe Johnson? Amy Joe Johnson who was on Felicity. Yes? Can I see her face? She's gorgeous. I mean, Ashley is the one woman for me. But this was my first,
one of my first questions. Disclaimer disclaimer, let's see very natural. I love that Amy Joe Johnson. Absolutely, that looks like a million dollar baby. Um oh my god, you can see young Jared you. It's bringing me back the Ninja Turtles. I mean, I know they weren't real, but I found the Ninja Turtles attractive. And Aladdin Grade one was Aladdin was my my, my biggest crush. I would sing a whole New world and try to get a bunch of guys to dat me. Jasmine was a very attractive cartoon.
Question number five. Your favorite ice cream flavor vanilla with chocolates. That explains so nothing. It doesn't. You wouldn't even know. It doesn't. Nothing can encapsulate Vanessa more so than her favorite ice cream flavor vanilla. I'm surprises maybe with some chocolate chips in there now if she's to be the mini Chocolate Cubs though mint chocolate chip. Okay, that's a good one. Just a fun, loving, delicious guy. You know, delicious Dean. I'll go great with a hot summer's day.
Throw me in a waffle cone or eat me out of a cup, it doesn't matter. I'm great. Mine is Hoggan Dos coffee. I'm a big coffee guy. Coffee is good. Number six, what was the first thing you noticed? What is the first thing that you noticed about the opposite sex? Smile? Okay, that was easy? What about you dared the first thing? But obviously no, I would say I as well, there's something about the aid A very captivating Number seven. What compliment do you get the most? What do you get
complimented on most? I don't know you go first. I knew you were going to hate this question. That's why I wanted to ask, Dean is going to hate this? And I want you to answer my smile, but I don't get it. I hate my You have a great smile. Thanks, what's doing with you? Just it's my teeth that is not your smile. He's smiling like the Joaquin Phoenix did in the Joker trailer. Okay, smile to smile. Okay, my
my jaw great jow Uh. We have GI on the phone. Wonderful. Okay, well we'll say for the last three then a little bit later. That sounds fine. I just don't want to keep her waiting. She's got laryngitis. I think she wants to be doing is kept on waiting. So here we go. We're gonna jump into a phone called with gorgeous g are you there? Hi? How are you hi? I'm good, I'm good, We're doing great. We're so we can't have you in personal I'm so sad. I flew in from Montreal.
I was like, I can't wait to meet her. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. We understand you came down with all. We're like basically sisters. Well that's what I was gonna say. Are you were you born in Montreal and then I grew up in Toronto? Yeah? Um, I was born in Point Claire. I'm on the East End. I was born in St. Leonard. Okay, we heard small World, just a couple of Canadian gals. So that, Um, I'm such a huge fan. Actually, we're all a huge fan
of yours. That help I second dating, Um, you have a new book that just came out right on April fourth, I believe. Yes, Yes, that's amazing. And how's that going. Can you give us a little background on what the book is about? Yeah? Well, I, um, I've always kind of wanted a book. I just never really thought that I'd be able to write one. So when I got you, opportunity and YouTube has given me so many of them
in my life. So I was like Okay, I'm gonna write every single thing I've never talked about and share more than I ever have, and you just really really real and honest with it. So it literally is all of the lessons, mistakes, and um, you know, stories I have from my life, um, from ages five and down. So it came about kind of quickly, but it did take a long time for me to perfect it. It was probably two years that I was working on it, and it's the reception has been really, really really great
so far. I did a signing in New York City and some people there had already actually read the book, so I was like, actually really shocked that people said through with that bath and they had really great things to say. So I'm feeling really proud and excited. What inspired you to write the book? Um? I mean, I honestly feel like just visibility and just telling your story
is so important. And I've gotten a lot of feedback on like videos and stuff like that that um, you know, I've helped some people realize things about themselves or help them um their friends and hard situations or whatever. So I feel like me having this on like paper and just having it a tangible thing, my story, my truth for people just to hold and have forever. I think that stands the test of time. And that's what I
wanted to achieve. Is that is that terrifying to write that all down and to publish it for everyone in the world to read it is? It is? And when I tell you that, I went through it like a good twenty five times, like front cover to cover, I would like, they're abouter, not be one selling mistake, one fact that's not true, one photo on the wrong page. I was like a stickler and um, yeah, I had
to make sure everything was perfect. So I I guess I want to know, is there a chapter in the book because you talk about how your mom passed away and you're I mean, you have such a great relationship with your brothers and UM. In the documentary as well, your dad was so supportive of you and you come from I mean, you come from an Italian and of in his background, which I I know how like my Italian family is and they're very strict when it comes
to um, you know, just the culture. It was so amazing and it was so touching to see how your dad supported you throughout everything. UM. Do you go through a little bit more in a chapter in your book with that story. Yes, Oh my goodness, my family is a big part of it. My family was a big
part of the movie. But to talk about your first the first part of what you said, I have never really truly opened up about my mom um the way that I do in the book, and it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever done, having to relive that and also having to write it down, really dive deep in what I feel, and just choosing what to say because for a long time I was completely speechless to the whole thing, you know, So me just picking my words wisely, not leaving anything out, and then
just being ready just to be free and that put it that. It feels, honestly so free to have that out there. And I think that she would be really happy with how she's portrayed. I mean she was. She literally is the world's best mom, and I was so lucky. So I just, um, I wanted to do her justice, and um, yeah, I just feel great about that chapter. But it's like doing the audio book, it was not easy. I was choking up, I had to take breaks, I was crying. It's like, that's probably the hardest one for
me in there. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, But it was the passing of your mother that inspired you to transition, right, yeah, it was. Well, I had met this girl in New York, um, and she really helped me decide to transition because it was my first kind of real life and like example of someone who was trans like right in front of my face. So that
was kind of the deciding factor. But my mom was like the one where I was like, Okay, you know, you got to live every day, look at your last and you really have to just live in the moment and feeling these things inside. So I'm just gonna go for it because clearly I was just shown this humongous change in my life and I can't take anything for grant. I can't take any minute for granted now and there's
no time like the present. Um. I have a question with this being a dating podcast, what is dating like for you? But do you have a significant others? You are engaged? Yes, I'm engaged. Dating was it was very very tricky, you know, I feel like for trans girls, I mean, dating is hard regardless. I'm sure you guys talked about this every single day, but um, yeah, dating
for trans girls is hard. There's a lot of rejection, there's a lot of fear, and there's a lot of insecurity and self doubt because I think, well, I know, for me, I'm a long time I was, but I was trying to be something I totally wasn't, you know. And now that I'm engaged to the love of my life, I can be me. I don't think I'll thank you. Yeah, I don't have to put on a facade with mats like.
I just feel like I can be me and I don't have to be this hyper feminine version of myself and always speak correctly and watch what I say, you know, And like, I've been in relationships before, which is in the book where they were awful and made me feel less then and nobody deserves that. Well, we've all been through relationships like that, so I'm sure we can all
relate to that. And I love also on your YouTube channels, you you just openly talk about I mean, at one point you were like taking off your makeup and you're being so vulnerable in front of the camera and you were talking about like self confidence. And I actually get a lot of questions and people think that I have so much self confidence and I'm like, oh, yeah, I mean on some days, on good days, I do. But
on other days I'm the most insecure person ever. So how did you build that self confidence to start this YouTube channel and have millions of followers follow your journey and now have a book and really be vulnerable and open up to all these people. Well, at the beginning, it was like just definitely a leap of faith. I
didn't know what I was doing. I definitely wasn't that confident, and I feel like for the most part, I just faked it until I made it kind of and I was a teaming jor I didn't really you know, know, who I was. I was just really experimenting. And I feel the way I stay confident, like you said, was I honestly really just try to look at the positive
in every situation. Like like going back to dating, I feel like trans girls think, oh, it's so hard because there are not a lot of people out there that want to date a trans girl, and people that do it might be a little bit of a fetish for them and that's not what I want. But I think the positive side of that could be that the world
everyone else who's like that, you know, a heterosexual. Um, person in the world has billions and billions of people to choose from, but these people, but trans people, have that ratio lowered for them. So the chances of finding the one are that much better. That's I mean, that's a good way of looking at It's a very optimistic view. So for the listeners out there that maybe you're struggling with the same thing do, what kind of advice would you have for them, um, I mean struggling with finding
the one? Are confident? Well, just like just like you said, dating is hard for anyone, but especially you know, for anyone that's transitioned, it's it's even more difficult, right, So so for someone that's listening that might be struggling with that, what kind of advice would you have for them that that you learned and I'm sure you outline in your book of course, but um, that that they might be able to apply right away to help boost your confidence,
help them meet someone that kind of thing. Yeah, you know, I well I personally, whenever I was looking for something, um, it never really happened. I was kind of like a fun romantic girl. It was never really that serious. And then I had one serious relationship and after that one, I was like, I'm done. I think I'm done for a minute, and then I met Nats. So I would say, you gotta love yourself first. You gotta not fill out there and look for it kind of happens when you're
at least expecting it. I feel like I've heard that so much, but it's so true for me because I had no idea that I was gonna fall in love. Um, and yeah, I mean I feel like transitioning, there's a lot of it's just a journey, you know, So maybe just love yourself first, because that's the most important thing. Chees. No, it's great, but it's true. How long have you and that been together? Now? Like three years? Right? We have been together for three years. We've been engaged for one. Oh.
So do you know when you're gonna get married? We do. Can you give us a You don't have to say the exact date, obviously, tell us exactly where and when and if our invitations are in the mail? Right. No, we're getting married, um later this year, but um, we are keeping everything super private. Now come on, well that's great. Now you're not going to say, come on, I'll expect I'll expect my invite privately. You've got my email address,
you can send it over there. Perfect. I'm getting married later this year as well, so teen a good year to get married. Congratulations, thank you. Will August we've been saying August, we're not saying the date, but in August fun our wedding. Yes, late summer wedding over on the East coast. So we're very excited. Um, and then that's amazing. Congrat Thanks you too, Know g G, I had a
question because I was you had. You've been very open about everything in your life, which we all give you a lot of credit here and help my second dating. My question is you were originally dating men? Correct? Before you you decided that you were attracted to women. Um? Now were you dating men after you had the procedure done? Um? Yes, I was. I was only really dating men. But I
talked about this a lot in the book. I feel like it's more of like a like a social construct that I honestly felt like was just like I guess,
like brainwashed into me. I don't know, it's it's like this weird thing for me because I never really, ever, ever, ever my wildest dreams, saw myself with a woman, but it just ended up happening that way because I just really stayed authentic with myself and allowed myself to keep growing and like question what I was feeling, which I think is a really healthy thing to do, even though it's like a little bit scary. And it was definitely a hard time for me because I was like, what
is happening in my brain? Like it's like this is something I never really thought would happen, but um, yeah, that is that's me and this is my authentic self. And I was screaming it loud and proud and this stuff. Yeah, you love who you love. And then I'm sure you elaborate more on this in the book, but do you kind of remember when you first started realizing you might have been born the wrong sex? Yeah, when I was born, I definitely felt that there was something different. I didn't
know how to put my finger on it. But I feel like when I was like when in my teenage years, um, I kind of put that at the side. I kind of focused on other things. I was a diver. I was on my way to the Olympics, so I was basically an athlete first, and then after I stopped diving, I had like time to think about it and feel differently about it. So that's kind of when I got in back into it and started revisiting how I was really feeling, because it was like, Okay, these thoughts are
still here, They're not going anywhere. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty incredible to see your journey and see how you've been able to be your authentic self and really, um, love yourself first, yeah, and be true, be true to yourself. A lot of people can't say that, and it's sad, and it's really inspiring to see someone who's unapologetically themselves and continue to love themselves for who they are. You're
going on, yeah, yeah, Yeah. I actually have the the l A stop tonight and then we're going back to New York, which is not good for my cold right now, but vitamin C and powering through with the glands. I don't know what it is, but I have a cold too. I think that there's something going around going around the area. Yeah. I never ever get set, and it's like hitting me so hard. I'm like, can I just be normal again? Yeah? Monday I had it was a very hard struggle to
get out of bed Monday morning. But I'm on the tail. And I landed in New York earlier this week and I called an I v into my room because I felt like I was dying. You gotta get that I v in there. I was like, I need all my nutrients and fluid. Yeah, g you're about to go on tour. You need to be ready to go. Um. Well, thank you so much for joining us. You can get g gorgeous book, he said, She said, lesson stories and mistakes
from my Chance transgender journey. You can get down Amazon, or you can go to gi Gorgeous book dot com and purchase it right there, Gigi, anything else you want to talk about for a second, or where can people find you? People can find me everywhere across all social media. I'm just g g Gorgett on everywhere except Twitter. I am v Gorgets. I just wanted to thank you guys
for having me. Congratulations on all of your success. Oh, thank you map you feel better, g G. Before you take off, I just need a promise for me that next time we're gonna get you in studio and set over the phone. Okay, wonderful, Thank you so much. I feel better. Okay, thank you bye. That was great. I'm so sad she wasn't. She's fascinating. Yeah, I really wish she was in studio. Yeah, I love hearing stories like that. Well,
I just her entire life. I was looking her up and how she was born a swimmer and athlete, and then she was Yeah, she saw the videos of her diving. I haven't seen the videos, but she has. I see a picture of her as a boy, and she has many medals around her neck. Um. And then I saw that she was originally attracted to men, uh, and then still dating men when she uh became a transgender woman and then started dating women. UM. So it's pretty fascinating,
pretty fascinating. I always get nervous though, sometimes because I never want to get the vernacular wrong. For example, I never want to get the vernacular wrong. I never want to mispronounce anything because it's you know, sensitive time, and I want to make sure that I'm being sensitive to everybody. And so for a good example, I wish I asked her on the podcast. But like she said, she was attracted to men, and so I'm curious if she was a game in before and then became a transgender lesbian.
I don't know if she becomes a well she was attracted de mend I don't know. I don't know what how you described that I should ask her. I wasn't even thinking, but maybe it's in the book. So check out the book. There you go, probably one of the chapters of the gotta read the book. So we went over some of these when you guys weren't in studio and Mikhaela from Bachelor Canada was came in and she just moved to Montreal. She's dating someone from Monstrelle. Excited
to have her in my hometown. But I had posted a picture of dany babies and I, yeah, I remember when we were at the I Heart Radio Podcast Awards. I posted a picture of us and I was I basically asked asked people to write in some of their dating questions, and I got so many people sending me d m s just commenting on um on the picture. So we went through some of them, but there's so many other great one that I wanted to go over. So Margie asks, what is the chase quote unquote all about?
Is it necessary for the guy to go after the girl or do they really think it's a desperate move if the girl goes for the guy Venice. Want you answer this first or is it more of a confidence thing? Um?
I really do think at the beginning stages when you're dating someone, there has to be a little bit of a push and pull for the guy if it gets especially for like, if I'm like such a hopeless romantic, So for guy that I know I'm attracted to gives me attention, I'll be like, let's get married to tomorrow. But if I do that to the guy, he's gonna be like, you're and I don't want to date you.
So I think you have to. I'm someone if I find someone attractive, most of the guys that I have dated, it's because I either slid into their d m s or I approached them in person first. So I think guys do like a sense of confidence. I think you're overly too confident. It might be intimidating for them because you know, apparently its supposed to be the guy that goes after the girl. But well, if anybody's overly confident, it's turn off because that's cockiness, right right. Um, But
I think guys do like the chase. You're you're hunters. You want to, you know, go for things that are a little bit right that are a little bit do you know? You don't know? I agree, I don't know. I have such mixed seriens about this. I like because I'm so blase about basically everything in my life, where it's like, yeah, like if we, if we, I don't know, Like if you chase me cool, if I chase you cool either way. Yeah, But I think for h now,
obviously we're putting a vague blanket on everybody. But I do think a lot of guys do like the chase. They want what they can have. I feel like a lot of people feel like that. Yeah, and then you get it and then you're like, okay, yeah, I don't know. There's this one quote from Batman movie Batman. I'm already gonna love it. Begin Joker. What's the one with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger as a Joker, The Doc Knight The Doc Knight. Yes, Um, there's a quote that the
Joker says. He says, I'm just the dog chasing cars. I don't know what I would do if I ever caught one. Yeah, And I feel guys are very much the same way. They're just dogs chasing cars exactly. And it's not until they're actually read. I was talking to a guy about cars and dogs. You guys are like you guys are like you know Bentley's Well, we're not trying to objectify anyone here, but the point is it's like,
you guys are like Mercedes Benz. We're all we're all seeking something, but once we actually find it, we don't know what to actually do with it. It's kind of the point of that, you know. It's like saying people are scared of success, which I agree with because it's like, once you you always want to chase something, but once you actually get it, then you have to hold onto it,
and that's what becomes the difficult part. Yeah. I think most of my relationships were ended up becoming so empty because the guy ended up getting me and then he's like, oh, well, now I have her, what do I do with her next? Until now the guy that I'm dating is like, Wow, I have her and I really don't want to lose her. Well that's very sweet. Yeah. Um, Sarah says, how do I get a guy to want to have a relationship
with me and not just a hook up? I think it's something that a lot of women ask themselves, like how if we give it up too easily, and not even I shouldn't even say that, because it's our bodies. So if we want to give it up on date one day, two day, three, day, four, day five, whenever, it is on us, right, well, that's on us. And that's like because we we we own our body, so we're allowed to do whatever we want with it. But
what does a guy think of that? If you do end up hooking up with them in the early stages. I don't think it's that big. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think that the physical part of a relationship is such a key component that in order to figure out if there's going to be chemistry there early on, it can it's It's not a bad thing immediately, I don't think so. You know, yeah, but sex does change the relationship, I mean for the better, yes,
but it also does change it. I don't think there's also anything But here is the thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting a couple of days in building up that anticipation and trying to learn about somebody, uh before you commit physically to them. And I'm exactly I fully agree with that as well. But the counterpoint can be made that your future relationship will have two sides, right, It'll have an emotional side and then I'll have the
physical side of if you, if you. I don't think it's necessarily the worst thing to explore the physical side early on to ensure that there's gonna be longevity in the relationship, because you want to be able to both experience the emotional and physical side rate extent. I think what ends up happening is girls are stuck in the like between a rock and a hard place, because if you ask the guy like, hey, well, are you looking
for something serious? The guy is probably gonna be like, well, let me just pretend as if I am, so that I can keep going on a day with her. And then she's like, oh, well, I think he says you might want to be into something serious, so let me just hook up with him, because like, oh, I'm attracted to him. And then once that happens, it's like, oh, well, no, that's not what I wanted because I have been in
situations like that. Well, yeah, a lot of guys will say whatever they have to sa in order to get into the sack if you will, So Sarah, I don't know that's a tough one. I mean, honestly, it's just about finding the right guy, you know, That's what it really comes down to. You're gonna find guys like whether you're a girl trying to date a guy, a guy trying to date a girl, a guy trying to date a guy, or a girl trying to date a girl.
You're gonna find and meet people and go on dates with people that just want to have sex with you or want to date you. You're gonna find different people of all different backgrounds who want different things in their life. It's all about just finding them with you. Then that means you're attractive, so that's like sumbs up. Then it's up to you whether you want to do it or not.
And I think as an individual, you're gonna want different things in life to your things are gonna go on where you're like, Okay, I just want to jump this guy's bones, and there's other days you're gonna go and we're like, Okay, I want to get to know this guy first. So I think it's also dependent on this situation, the time, the person, the other person, all these things. Um, if you're going to have sex, just wear a condom.
That's all. I said, Absolutely, and get checked, get checked every three months, six months, while moving on three every week, every every six months. Absolutely, I hold on. I remember last year, Dean, I was sitting you in that in the room where I was sitting, like I said, sitting on him. I was. I was sitting in the room on those red chairs with you, and I said, why is it that I can't find a guy? And you're like Vanessa, You're just too You're just you're too intense.
You are intense. What does that mean? I just I was just saying earlier how blase I am about everything. So for someone like me that doesn't take anything seriously, you can be kind of intense. You come off intense because you you are very vocal about There's nothing wrong with that, there's nothing wrong with that at all, but it is intimidating for someone like a someone that doesn't know what he wants dating or is it a turn off? It's a turn off, Well, it depends what you mean
by turn off. I wasn't physically turned off, but emotionally I was like I probably couldn't handle her in a relationship if that, if it ever got that to that point, you know what I mean. Right, So there is a game that women have to play well and too. But here's the thing. You would never have wanted a relationship between you and I to work out because and it shouldn't have worked out because obviously, like it just wouldn't Exactly, it's not it's not a game. They have to play it.
But like, no, no, no, I'm not saying between you and I. I'm just saying what in general, saying the fact I don't have to play a game. It's just all about finding the right person. Yet again, because if you if you vocalize what you want and you say the things that you want to achieve in life, and then a guy's like, I don't want that, then that's
obviously not somebody you want to be with. Compared to if you say your opinions and it's somebody and the guy says, hey, those are the things I want as well, then boom, you have some sort of connection that you can move forward with. Mark, he stood up for this. I was just enjoying the tension those buildings, the sexual tension. It was very exciting. It's you got nobody really you know, you're a lot for Dean, but it seems to me that all women are a lot for Dean. That's what it.
Come on, I'm right here, I just yeah, no, I mean much not wrong anyway, let's go, let's move on to the next. All right, there's another writer and I'm not sure from pronouncing her name right, And I don't know if there's a C missing Nicole or Nie Hole. I'm gonna go with Nicole. But Nicole, I can't find it now. So Nicole, I think, is married. Let me find it. Oh, yes, I'm married, but I sometimes feel
like I'm not enough for my husband. We have two kids together, we both work full time, so the intimate moments are rare. How can I change this? Well, actually, Mark, you're the married man here. Yeah, And it's a challenge. It really is a difficult thing. Plus, if you have a kid that has anxiety and comes into your room at all hours of the night, it's very Uh, it's very difficult to make it work. You just got to be committed to trying to make it work and understanding
each of your needs. How often does this because you don't want it? Because the distance is created if too much time passes. But intimacy and we had a guest come in once and we were talking about intimacy doesn't necessarily mean having to have sitting on each other's lap or like giving each other a hug or cooking for each other. That is a form of intimacy as well, where you can build on the relationship. That's a great point because if if I can, I can feel it.
If we go a day and there's no physical contact between it because they're just running all over the place, taking the kids every place, you really start to feel that distance between you. So you just have to make the commitment to both of you and then you've got to make a commitment for a little get away every once in a while, and that really kind of gets the fires going again. Yeah, what about couples therapy. I
we've never done a couple of therapy. I'm all for yeah, but we talk about therapy a lot on this as we well should. But I also think that there are other avenues besides a couple of therapy, like you said, like a getaway that can really spark the fire again. It's something that's really nice because yeah, I think people think couple when you think of the word therapy, it's like there's something wrong with you, there's something that needs
to be fixed, right, and it shouldn't. And I'm so a gense, Like I hate when people think like that, if you're going to the gym, you're going to the gym to work your body out, So why not go to a therapist to work your brain out. Yeah, but there's different moves at the gym that you can do.
You could do bench, you could do back different you could literally go to your therapist and just talk about how you want grocery shopping today and be like, well, there's nothing really I need to like totally an hour to the bank. I just don't think therapy is mandated. I think it's if you want to keep like continue to grow and you think you guys need it absolutely, But I also think that like there are different methods
as well, therapy is not a last resort. But I also don't think it's like, hey, we should do this weekly. I mean depends on whatever you want. Um, Like, if you want to do therapy every week, of course that's between you and your significant other. But I think my point is like I don't want people to think that like, hey, nothing's wrong, we should go to therapy. It's like No, you can do other things as well. There's a multitude of things that you can do to help the relationship grow.
I don't know, that's just my opinion. No, I agree that sometimes people don't know what it is that they should be doing because they're like, well, we think we've tried everything, How can we how can we get there? Well that would that's different because then they see couples therapy as the last resort. Uch. Again, it's not, it's not, and we're usually when it is a last resort, the relationship is probably going to end. That's what my therapist says.
All right, let's just wrap up these Uh they're not even questions anymore that I had, But let's wrap this up and then we'll wrap up the podcast. Sound pretty good moving forward? Oh, it's all right. I think we don't want you to leave. No, no, just stay, stay for a nextra week record another one. Um, all right, well this is more like we talked about a couple of weeks ago, how we wanted to introduce new dating terms to the podcast to make sure everybody was on
the same level playing field. So I have two new ones, and I like to know Dean and Vanessa Dean, get off your phone. Everybody's on the phone computer right now except for me. This is ridiculous. I'm the only one paying attention to your computer is literally right wide open right now. But I'm not on your on your Bluetooth speaker. And now with with Ashley, who are you? What are you saying? That is not true? Make sure you get the coffee that I like, Ashley? Um and all right,
number right? So two more terms to know for dating? Do you guys know what love bombing is? We talked about this on the two weeks we didn't We did not talk about with the Bubbies. It shows so much attention. So what is it when you're when you overly expressed too much um infatuation with someone and then you pull back, and then you do it again, and you pull back and you do it again. We had the Bubbies on literally two weeks ago. All right, number nine, I don't
have a good memory. What do you know what fired dooring is? Fire dooring? Fire like a fire door door, fire dooring? Yeah? Well, I think it's when you get freaked out by someone. You're like, google it. Dean, you don't cheat? Good god, he's such a cheater. If it has to continue. No, No, am I right? Like when you like, when you get freaked out by someone, you're like but and you're like, just take the exit door,
like I think. I think if I were to guess, it's when there is a relationship, I'm just getting the email. Google's right open on your computer. It's Uh. If I had a guess, it's probably when there's a relationship and one person is showing a lot more interest in the relationship than the other person. It's just a one way street essentially. Yes, it's a person who has all the power uh in an exchange. Someone who will text you
but fail to respond when you text back. Someone you will never make plans to see, but expect to be expecting to drop everything and come out when they happen to have an afternoon free Sounds like a boy Yeah, so it just says, for example, Dean Angler, all right, number ten the last one? Because I was listening to Backstreet Boys. What's your favorite boy brand of all time? Handsome brothers? No need to boy bands? You should have
been in one? Are you googling boy bands? No? I was, so I got sent this, uh this fifteen signs are getting a douche Bag list and I was like, on the cover of it, no way. So we were just talking about how you're The website was a because you're so good looking, people probably think you're a douchebag. No, it was it was like ten reasons you're dating. Uh wait, I think this is me stupid Paradise a major Oh gotcha? Okay is your picture seriously on that? It was I
don't know. My friend said to me, thank you guys at all, and that's why you need to go to Paradise redeem yourself. I don't give a I don't give a crap about a redemption story. I care about it. You deserve better. Dean Buddy um favorite boy band I
guess end sync Backstreet Boyer Guy. Um. Anyways, thank you guys so much for Thank you Vanessa for being studio today, just for this and for the wine tour, literally just for this, just to see Jared and me um and hang out with us and talk to on the phone. Big thank you to Gi Gorgeous. Of course, Jared, where can we find her book? So you can go to Gigi gorgeous book dot com where you can purchase her brand new book. He said. She said lesson stories and
mistakes from my transgender journey. It's also on Amazon so you can purchase it there. Big thank you to all our sponsors for this week's episode. We wouldn't be here with that you guys. Big thank you to Easton, Tory and Mark for being the best producers in the world. Big thank you to our listeners for listening to this podcast always the biggest thank you. Guys. Can join the Facebook group help By Suck a Dating Podcast, and you can also follow us on Instagram where Dean help I
Suck a Day, Help I Suck a Dating? Or Deny Underscore Babies or Jared Habon or Vanessa Grimaldi nine one um, that'll do it for this week's episode of Help I Suck At Dating. Thank you for tuning in. Be sure tune in next week where maybe we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help By Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast
