Paradise Veterans with Hannah Berner

all intents and purposes. All right, you go? Are you eating? You go? Hey, welcome to help by sucking everybody? Why do I Why do I do these things? Why am I so gullible? You knew it? I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you knew something was up. I knew you're gonna talk. I knew it. Anyway, welcome to help I suck at dating. We have a great episode coming up. Uh. We have Hannah Burner coming up from her comedy towards the House Broken tour, which

you can get dates and tickets. Will we'll share the information, but you can get at www dot Hannah Burner dot com that's b E R and E ER. We're very excited for her to come on the podcast. She's very funny. First, we have to obviously talk about Bachelor and Paradise. Dean. You and I are both alums of this show. There's some crazy stuff happening. Do you have any initial thoughts? Have you been watching? Oh, I gotta ask before we

start talking about this shared have you been watching? He actually, yeah, I watched both episodes this week. I did so well. Thank you, Because when I say that Kalin gets me excited about watching The Bachelor, I I can't ever confidently say that, but she gets me excited about watching Bachelor really and this season. This season it's like it's it's entertaining. I am already good. I almost like would watch it by myself even if she wasn't around. Um, it's been good,

it's been entertaining. It's been like obviously super drama filled, so I guess maybe that's why were I am super into it. But yeah, I mean I've been I've been excited for every Monday and Tuesday of the week just to watch Bachelor in Paradise. I want to say I'm embarrassed, but I'm not. I'm not embarrassed. No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't be embarrassed. We we were on the show. That's way worse than watching the show. Okay, it's a really

good point. That's a really good point. First and foremost, Joe and Um, oh my god, Serena, No, Joe and Kendall, Kelly on the mind, Joe and Kendall, your thoughts. I see both sides of it. Um, I didn't love seeing Kendall come down to the beach, but it's not it wasn't. It's not her fault. You know, Joe came down to the beach too, so it's not like we can point the finger out Kendall. And it just so happens that Joe came down first, and so he kind of gets

like the benefit of the doubt in that sense. So I see both sides of it. I don't think anyone is to blame. Um, I don't think that there are any It seems like Joe is over it entirely. It seems like Kendall maybe, isn't. I think Kendall is much

more into Joe than Joe's into Kendall right now. And it breaks my heart because I feel this is an example of two wonderful people who just didn't work out, who didn't make it in a relationship, and it sucks because usually in a relationship you have one person to blame more than the other, where this one, I just feel so bad for them both, because I love Kendall and Joe equally and I both think they're incredible people, and so like seeing them hurt over this, it's just like, oh,

please get back together, because like, I can't emotionally take this, and I just want you guys to be happy. And it's totally apparent to me that Kendall's much more into Joe than Joe's into Kendall. And I just wish that she went down there with the intent of either being

with Joe or dating other people. I think that was her only fault, because she went down there with apparently the mindset of, well, I still have feelings for Joe, but I am here to possibly date other people too, But I want to see if the doors still closed on Joe, and I wish that she went down there with the intent that you had. And this is why I tell everybody, because what you did so well, rightfully so was when you left you came back to Paradise and you were like, I'm only here for Calin. I'm

only leaving here with Calin. I'm not staying. And that was such a great move and such a romantic one, and you looked great, obviously, But with Kendall, I just wish that she went down and said, Joe, I know that I said, you know, I didn't want to move to Chicago and that we were done, but I still have feelings. I miss you in my life. I want you in my life. I'm willing to give Chicago a try if you leave with me right now, or she goes down there and says, Joe, you know, I'm never

moving to Chicago. I want to move on. And I felt like moving on I could do it in Paradise. It might have been the best place for me to move on. But instead it's like this middle ground where I'm like, well, do you want to be with Joe or do you want to date other people? Because you kind of want to be with Joe, but also you're staying in Paradise to maybe see if somebody else comes down the stairs, and you can't watch Joe make out

with anybody else. It's like You're only gonna hurt yourself, right, I think, Jared, I think you just walked into the garage, grabbed the biggest thing you could find, and nail that right on the head. Because because when I was watching that whole exchange between them, you know, Kendall comes down, she has a conversation with Joe. First thing I noticed was the chemistry is still there, There's no question about it.

They they're still bouncing off each other as they used to, but they never they're talking about why they broke up, but they never addressed how things could be better and moving forward. Kendall was never like, I want to move to Chicago, and Joe was never like, oh, I would totally move back to l A. There was never that conversation. So Kendall came down seemingly wanting to get Joe back, but never providing a solution as to how their relationship would would not fail like it did last time. So

that was my biggest gripe with it. And then also to kind of even reverse a little bit more. When Joe was telling Arena about why him and Kendall broke up, he never really they at least it wasn't aired they definitely could have had a conversation, but he never spoke with her and she never spoke with him about what they would do if they were to leave Paradise because

I know Serena doesn't live in Chicago. So it's like if Joe has to be in Chicago and his partner has to be in whatever city they're in, then like what are they doing? You know, why is Joe going to have another two year relationship with a girl that's not gonna want to move to Chicago? And I don't know if that's true or not. And again, like they definitely could have had that conversation that it just didn't

get aired for whatever reason. Um, but it just seems like something that's so important that they just keep glossing over every single time. But I mean, it's gonna see Kettle down there. I I feel for her definitely, Like it'd be tough to go down to Paradise and see someone that you're like still kind of like in love with.

I think she's definitely still in love with him. They were in love, and uh, especially like coming in so late, like she she's definitely starting well behind where he started, and so like, what is she going to do meet a guy. And that's another bad part totally because the problem is Joe. I bet you any money if Kendall was there, day one, Joe and Kendall will be dating. Because remember all the feelings that he was having in the beginning about how he didn't want to be there anymore.

Everything reminded him Kendall, Like, what what happens if Kendall walked down those stairs while he was going through this time? I feel like there might have been something there. But now Joe has kind of moved on with Serena. They're happy, he's happy, and then Kendall comes walking down. He's like, well, part of my heart has already moved on. So she, like you said, is playing from behind. Yeah. Yeah, I guess this is one of those things we will never know.

I will say I love Joe and Sterena together. Joe is a nice guy. Serena, from what I've seen it very seems like an incredibly uh sarcastic and like comedic person, which I really appreciate it. So they seem to have a very good relationship. Is it better or worse than

Joe's and Kendall's. It's not my decision to make but so far what we see has been good for them, maybe bad for Kendall, But I do want to move on to Obviously, the main topic of the most recent week of Bachelor Paradise is well, like topic one A and one bat so one A in my opinion to be like Brendan and Piper, one B would be Chris and Alana and just Senya. But I do think that the Brendan Piper thing has kind of like grasps more headlines over the past week or so. So what is

your take on that. I think it's all under the umbrella of scheming and talking before going to paradise, you know, right, But but let's say this, like there was definitely scheming and talking before. Okay, let me take that back. There was no scheming, but maybe talking before our paradise is definitely but I think that they're like kind of taking it to another level, Like there they're going above and

beyond with that kind of stuff. Well, like Brendan and Piper are just lying about it like that's I think

the most frustrating is Listen, we have Instagram followers. Instagram and followers is really cool and like when you go on the show of course there's a part of you that goes on for the business aspect of it now, like I think for Austin, for me Ashley at least, Like when we went on the show, of course we went on for love, but we went also for the opportunity, the experience to be on TV and to do these incredible things. And like we didn't really know about Instagram

at the time. We just got super lucky. But now I don't blame people to go on the show and part for gathering and Instagram following, like it kind of comes with it, all of it. Where I put the fault on is if you're going to intentionally try to screw someone over and play the game to gain followers on Instagram, get the hell out of here. And nobody's

got time for that. And so like it's like Brendan was intentionally lying to Natasha about their relationship and then he tried to like play it off like, oh, you had selective hearing, and he pretty much said to her face and behind the scenes that he didn't have any other prospects. And it's like, dude, don't be a jerk, alright, bro, Like, come on, man, So I agree, I agree with your

larger point. But I do think that the biggest issue with what they what Brendan did, Brendon or Brandon Brendon did, the biggest thing in my opinion, Um, And you definitely touch on this a bit. It's not the scheming is like bad and like frowned upon, But there was so much time between the Paradise before this that I kind

of can give them a pass. The biggest issue that I have with that guy doing what he did was the things that he did and said to Natasha to like carry his existence on the beach on Um, Like he was gaslighting, he was lying, he was just kind of doing whatever he needed to do. Uh, and then his girl showed up, and then all of a sudden he's like saying, how annoying this other girl was, And it's just like so so so. Scheming is bad, but

it's not the word thing. And I think the worst thing is gaslighting and manipulating and being a jerk to someone just so you can eventually get to the point where the person that you were scheming with is showing up. Yeah, it's like, listen, there is an element of a game in Bachelor in Paradise. It's a reality television show. You know,

it's very rare, real and raw. But of course, like there's producers and there's cameras, so like there's gonna be people that try to play the game, but like to, like you said, manipulate Natasha like that, dude, go to hell if you're going to do that, come on, bro, like and you know, he issued an apology, which is great, and I think, you know, people should give him the

benefit of doubt. With the apology, people learn, people grow um And he obviously has to apologize to Natasha first and foremost, and I hope he has already done that privately. But what makes me very happy is, of course the internet uh stays undefeated because now Natasha pretty sure has like eighty thousand more followers than Brendan, which is a hundred thousand more followers. He started off Paradise like three fifty.

I think he's down to two fifty. Now. I want to say this, I want to I want to help because I haven't talked to anyone about this, just to help help me put it into perspective. And I just think like a conversation about this would be interesting. So imagine going on to a reality television show as we did many times, um and expecting some sort of like financial benefit to come from it, and then going on that show and realizing every second that you're on that show,

you're actually losing a lot of money. You know what that is. And I think that he's been pioneering this moving forward, like because everyone thinks there's no such thing as bad press, right, like screen time is screen time. There's no such thing as bad screen time. You look back to like even the most recent season, like Victoria l the Queen, she was insufferable, but a lot of people are like, oh, well, she had a lot of

screen time before she got sent home. This Brendan scenario, Brendan Piper scenario is setting a precedent for showing everyone that like there actually really is a negative like connotation and and and repercussions too going into something like Bachelor Paradise, Bachelorette, whatever it is, and if you act poorly, people will make you pay the financial price of Like now you're not gonna get as many brand deals. You're gonna be

labeled as this guy, this person. Brands are gonna kind of like, you know, have a six ft poll before they even talk to you. So I mean, I don't envy the guy. I've never seen this happen before. Granted I'm a newbie to all this kind of stuff, but like you think, you go on TV for whatever reason, for however amount of time you're on TV for one second or a hundred seconds, you're gonna gain followers. But no, these guys are actively losing followers and they're onto TVs

for hours at a time every single week. Yeah, it's an interesting point, I will say. I I really hope that people do give Brendan and Piper uh an opportunity to apologize, talk about their actions, see if they've grown from it, see if they've learned from it, because I just I, you know, he made a mistake and she made a mistake, and I just I guess I believe

in second chances. It's actually funny that we're talking about this now because I don't know if I should say this, but Caitl and I were at dinner and I like felt bad for Brendan. I feel bad for both of them. I mean, I feel bad most of all for Natasha. That's why I feel bad for most of of course, But I don't know why. For whatever reason, my heart went out to Brendan. I guess maybe I I it's just a guy thing, which I hate saying, but like

he you know, he knows he messed up. He issued his apology, and yet I'm sure even beyond on following him on social media, people are like messaging and incredibly

rude things. Um. And not to say that he isn't deserve it, but he doesn't deserve very cruel things like I. I agree with you in the sense that I do feel bad for anybody who gets villainized on these shows, because even if they do deserve it, or you know, they deserve the edit that they got, um, they don't deserve some of the messages and what people say because people are really cruel and it sucks. Because that's why

I never That's why I rarely. I don't know if I should say never, because I'm I've probably done before respond to trolls on Instagram or Twitter or anything like that unless it's in a jokey, funny way, but like somebody who's really mean, which is as you know, a lot of the Internet and a lot of comments, you know, I don't really respond because what I know is that if I respond to it fifty people are gonna respond to that one person, and it's gonna feel like we're

all ganging up against this one person. And I never like that because I'm like, listen, as much as this person sucks, and I hate what they said, and I want to respond so badly. I know if I do, fifty other people are gonna say much worse things than me and say cruel things. And then like, who does that make me? Is that make me really better than

this person? Is that made me feel better? And I kind of felt the same way with Chris and Allana, because I mean, sure, yeah, Chris, like when he walked in and told everybody after you accepted the day card that he like announced that everybody, I'm gonna follow my heart. I'm gonna do what I want. And it's like, bro, you don't need to do this, Like you're only making it worse for yourself, Like, get the hell out of here. And I I don't agree with the way he's handled himself.

I don't agree with the way Alana handled herself. I didn't like what they did. I think they were scheming, but like to go back in there and literally have everybody on the beach just go at you tell you to pack your bags and get the hell out of here. I don't know, I just don't like that feeling of everybody ganging up on one person, even if that one person isn't the wrong. It's just like a little too much for me. And I did not like that moment

at all. Well, so yeah, I appreciate the pivot, I think we should talk about that for a second too. I when when I was watching everyone that kind of gang up on Chris, and you know, he definitely messed up, but I kept trying. I kept putting myself in his shoes,

and like, imagine being there on the beach. He's probably been there for like three days maybe at this point, and then all of a sudden, like everyone that's been there from the very beginning is like just yelling at you and cursing at you, and like everyone is just in your face. And I feel like he's already kind of like the shy, like introverted guy, and then all of a sudden, like everyone is like, get out of here.

I as someone who personally doesn't try to put a lot of stock into what people say, like there's no denying that that would be such a hard thing to deal with, and I felt bad for him too when he went back to the Lanna uh and Uh. He was like, well, you know, would you leave with me? She's like, Chris, I've been here for a day. And I was like, oh no, it's definitely. She does not want to be with him. She just wants to stay

in Paradise. So I just felt bad for him. That's actually I'm glad you bring that up because I remember watching that part two where I would feel like he shot himself in the foot by ditching Jasena and going for Lana, and then he shot himself in his other foot when he told Alanna that he was gonna leave, Like, if you're gonna if you're gonna jump ship to another ship, stay on that ship. You know, like you've already jumped

off the first ship. Everyone is outcasting you. The very least thing you could do is just like ride out that other ship that you just gave up everything else for to be on that. That actually frustrated me, and I don't again, I don't think he deserves any hate

that he's getting. But I do think what Chris should have done was say, listen, I've already my eggs are an a Launa's basket, you know, like I gave up everything that I had with Gusena to give a shot with Alanna, and then all of a sudden, he's like, no, I need to leave the beach. And that that proves to me that he didn't know what the heck he was doing, you know, Yeah, I just think he was so overwhelmed in the moment he didn't know what the hell to do. And you're right, as it makes it.

It makes me feel bad for Chris, you know. And even though he did scheme and he wasn't the wrong and he obviously lied. Um, it just it It makes me feel bad when you go back and watch it and literally, like everybody, it's just overly mean to him, you know. And and so you have every right, like Jena has every right to be piste off at Chris because he lied to her and he led her on

and he completely flipped a switch. And so I get why people would want to have want to have just Senda's back, and I completely understand that, and I want them to have just send you back. But to go to the extreme of literally yelling at this guy and screaming at him to get the hell off the beach and pack his bags. It's like, okay, can can we not being in high school for three seconds? Like I know that he was in high school, but to lower yourself to those standards. So am I supposed to root

for you? Now? I mean, I just I don't know. It just didn't. It wasn't a good feeling for me watching that when the thing too with it. I think this is maybe why we're we have such like a visceral reaction to it. Is because neither of us could imagine being on like the giving side of that type of argument, you know, like you and I never would have gone in someone's face and been like, leave the beach.

Otherwise I don't know, something will, something painful will fall upon you, like yeah, I never would would make someone do that, And I think I don't know what it is. Maybe by the season of Paradise, tempers are high, like maybe just send you did a really good job of having everyone kind of jump into her camp. Well, I don't think it was just saying you. I think Chris did bring it upon himself, like it was Chris's fall.

I agree. But but through the two seasons of parais I've been on I don't think there's ever been a cast, a collective cast, that would have like reigined like the Maelstrom upon anyone for anything like they did on Chris, you know what I mean. So it's like that's that's kind of why I'm a little like irked by it because having been through that scenario many times that there's

never been that much like bigger against anything. Ever, no one's cared that much ever until this passion well, I mean it, uh the wasn't there a fight like between Jordan's and somebody else, like a fist fight. Yeah, Jordan and um uh I can't remember his name, but yes they fought. But even after that fight, like yeah, if we wanted to break them up, But then afterwards, like everyone on the beach was like we want everyone to be friends, like there's no reason for us all to

be angry at each other. Like no one was being like Jordan, get off the beach, dude, you're getting in fights you don't Christian was his name. I'm sorry for misremembering that. No, I mean, yes, eventually they found their way out, but it wasn't like us banding together like

voting someone off the island. I remember one time on season three, Josh Murray, Like, I remember there was things going around about Josh Murray because he was dating a man to stand at the time, and then he like he he was he collected everybody, and he was the one who was like, if anybody's got something to say, say to me now, like I've been hearing all these things. That was the only time, But obviously the roles were reversed because it wasn't a bunch of people ganging up

on one person. Was one person collecting everybody and being like, I want to talk to everyone at the same time. So I agree with you, Like I just anytime it's like eight against one, I'm like, Okay, I he might be in the wrong, but I feel uncomfortable watching this. So that's the feeling I got. But of course I hope to send you, you know, I want her to find love. I'm glad that she's staying in Paradise. I hope things work out for her. Obviously, Natasha I'm really

rooting for. I'm very happy that Natasha is, you know, gaining so many followers on Instagram throughout this entire time, because it's really funny and also she's just a great person who I want to support, So I'm glad people are following her. She Actually I remember I was talking to Ashley about this. She on a podcast a few

months ago. Uh somebody mentioned she apparently was talking about Ashley and I and saying that we were twin flames, and she was just saying some really nice things about us, and and I've you know, I've met her a couple of times and she's great. So I'm really glad Natasha is being supported through this time, you know. On that note to actually, my brother at his wedding, during his vows said that him and his wife, Ashley aren't twin flames. Okay,

there go a little bit of full circle. Um, we are going to take a quick break before we get to our guest, Hannah Burner. But before we get there, I want to say one more thing about Paradise, something that I've really enjoyed and I didn't expect to enjoy. In fact, I am a little upset with myself for going into this with the wrong interpretation. Kenny has been

an absolute dream. He has been the coolest, nicest, funniest, hottest guy on the beach, and it's I've never had like ill feelings towards him, but I was indifferent towards him, especially after his he'son a bachelorette but he has just to absolutely blow me away. He's so cool, he's so nice, he's like so composed and mature, and he's very hot. Um and I just want to say that, so so yeah, So Kenny, if you're listening to this, me and Jared, I just want to say thank you for being just

like the cool. Another guy that I think is really cool throughout this entire situation, Ivan, He doesn't get his love love as he should. I think I like Havan a lot. I agree, I agree. I think the only reason I bring up Kenny is just because Kenny's kind of been in the mix a little bit more. Ivan was like in it early on. He's kind of just been a little neutral ever since. But I want to, like, I don't want Ivan to get lost right right, He's not gonna get lost in the mix, at least on

help I suck a dating. Ivan is always lay up there in our hearts. Anyways, I'm sorry I tried to add that little bit in Kenny, if you're listening to this, I don't know why, what what you're doing wasting your time, Kenny. If you're listening to this, light into Dean's d m S because you'll make his life. Well, yeah, that's funny. I've been thinking about signing into his, but just to be friends, you know, nothing more fully platonic. Maybe you go out and play some some naked volleyball together. I

don't know, Klin might have some competition. Yeah, I'm a sucker for a guy with tattoos. That's really all it is. Anyways, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get out of here before we see anything else, So stick around through the break. We're gonna have Hannah Burner from um Summer House coming up next after that? What's going on? Everyone? Welcome back to help I suck at dating. We are joined by the one, the only, the hilarious Hannah Burner from Summer House. Hannah,

how are you thanks for having me? Guys, I'm ready to talk some serious about love. Great question. I know you're not returning to the next season of Summer House. Do you hate it when people say Hannah from Summer House? No, No, because I was from Summer House. It's also like when people recognize me those like Summer House, and it's like, it's a part of who I am, It's part of

my journey. You want to know what's going to be great though in ten years, when your journey has evolved so greatly that people will forget entirely about the fact that you were on four years of Summer House. Well, it's funny. The whole concept of people forgetting is scary, but there's also like a beautifulness about it, where like something bad happens during the season, people forget very quick,

or like even when something good happens, people forget. Um, you have to remember that that everything is always changing. I think that's how you survive in this industry because it's crazy town. I guess I guess I might have spoke a little bit. What I meant was people remember you for greater things rather than your appearance on Summer House for a few seasons. Thanks sounding, I appreciate you. Yes, and Okay, So for the record, for the listeners out there,

Hanna and I are not strangers. We met about a week ago in New York. We go way back. We go way back. Yes, that's right. We took a tennis lesson together. Um, and so the reason for that Caitlin obviously is a big tennis fan, and we were out there with Wilson. And Hannah is a collegiate athlete who played tennis in college, so she of course was out there with Wilson. But I gotta ask. So you left early because you had to fly too. I think it was Kansas City for a stand up comedy show. How

did that go? It went great? Amazing barbecue. Um real quick though, Jared um Dean showed up to this Wilson event wearing flip flops? Is this something that? Is this the handle type of guy that if he lived in Buffalo in February, he'd be wearing flip flops outside because it's like feet don't get hold I'm like, get at it. It was like I thought this was a character they were putting together on you know, The Bachelor, But no, that's just real. He couldn't. He was ready to climb something.

He was ready to like hike, Oh yeah, he was. He was ready to just stroll on the beach. That's what he was doing. Very topical. So Kaylen and I are staying in this hotel in Italy right now, and in the hotels are like a five star Michelin restaurant and we go up to check in for a reservation and I'm wearing flip flops and I Goes goes, you can't come in here with flip flops, and I was like, these are literally the only shoes that I have with me, Like I I have, I can come and barefoot. Would

that be better for you? And they like pull the manager over and they're like, Okay, they let me come in, fortunately, but they were like very not happy about it. You're like, these are high quality, versatile flip flops. These are sixty dollar Tivas. Okay, but yeah, stand up has been kind of my like healing process through like being on reality TV. Reality TV is obviously great, but people see you, you know, through such a lens and behind the screen, and stand

up is very like raw. I think that's why we love podcasts to reality TV people, because you get to just like be very outgoing and raw and let people see a lot of different sides to you. Yeah, you get to be the center of attention, which is what we all love. I mean, I just want to be heard as many different places. Story I don't want to tell yeah, so and stand up you just like it's all about like telling the truth and and calling people out on the truth and just saying the things people

are afraid to say. So I've I've been really enjoying having that outlet. Well, Hannah, I can't help but notice you have an engagement ring on your hand, and I heard that you just got engaged. So first of all, congratulations became the podcast and you were like, I'm ready to talk some about love, So I hope you're happy. It's funny because I was twenty nine years old in this room when Quarantine first hit, living with my parents,

very single. I was like face timing with this like former football guy who was partying in Miami every night. And then I was like still talking to the guy who I was on a reality TV show with which like I knew was not going to end well, but we were going to see what was gonna happen um. And then this guy d mned me. We went on a date and it all happened, and then six months

I was engaged. So all my material, my end of material was about being single, and then I got engaged in six months, and then I have to be like I know about love when it's like you're like my career is over. My mom actually pulled me aside once. She was like, I know you're used to being like the single, outgoing wild whatever, but it's like you're not that person anymore. Like you're evolving and you can't keep making tweets about how guys are garbage? You know? Was

that scary for you? Um, it's scary because I wasn't anticipating getting married. I never thought about marriage that month that much. I wasn'tforced to on the show be like, can you see yourself being living the rest of your life with this person? Like I was there, You're like, I don't know where I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. Okay, can focus on that first. I was very career obsessed. Also,

like Bravo love single Hannah. I love flirting, and I loved kind of twist, like changing the narrative where like girls could you know, start a conversation and like you don't have to wait round for guys and you could hook up with a mail model if you want and do your thing. So this was kind of off brand for for me to get engaged. Um, it was terrible

for my brand. It was super bad for my brand. Right, So, how how your jokes shifted on the on the stand up for it then, so I started making jokes about, well, the engagement process. You guys, you're not engaged or dean, are you. I'm very much committed to my girlfriend. Yeah, okay, this guy just loves living in a cloud of mystery. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I just didn't want to get its happened every single week. He's like, we are in a beautiful connected soul and

don't worry about it. Um, but being engaged. I feel like it's a kind of old school thing where like one day a guy is supposed to just get on his knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him, and they make it like it's a romantic, beautiful surprise, when like, I don't think engagements are actually in the real life like that you have to talk out. You have to be like, is this do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Guys don't know what ring you want? You

have to figure out what ring you want. You have to hint them what ring you want. You Also, there's just so many things that aren't romantic about it. And then also joking about not knowing any this guy outside of global pandemic, Like that's when I met him. So I'm like, what if I go to a restaurant with him and people are singing Happy Birthday and he like joins in, Like this could be really bad. This could be detrimental to our relationship. Yeah, exactly, what if this

is the kind of guy that claps on the airplane? Exactly? So I was worried about that, and then I joke about him. He's forty five. He's the oldest guy I've ever been with you. You see, just judging what we're seeing on TV, it seems like you like to ski a little older. Well, yeah, I guess I have, but I've never gone forty five. Like, I've never was one of those girls who was, you know, obsessed with his zaddi um. But then, but I've always liked boys, that's

been consistent with me. But I found a retired boy. So yeah, that's what you gotta go for. The boys excited. Well, that's the thing, like, because the F boys. The F boy in his twenties maybe early third, you know, early thirties, and then starts changing his ways in his late thirties, late thirties so you got him in his peak post f boy years. He just became exhausted and needed someone to save him. But I joke like, I don't know if I met him when he was thirty that it

would have worked out. But now it's like he's not chasing women on the streets anymore. He's on the verge of arthritis. So he just fell into my hands. I don't I don't want to be that guy. But if you met him when you were thirty, you would have been twelve years old, so it definitely wouldn't worked at very valid point. But I feel like if we were the same age, I mean, guys mature later. But there's two kinds of relationships. Like my parents met early and

they really like grew up together. Where I've kind of found this like fully cooked man, where like the Xes did all the work for me and I just have to make a couple of edits, you know. Yeah, Yeah, that's I mean, that's in a in a wonderful way, that's a really cool way of looking at it. I feel agree. So I gotta ask what was it about him specifically that kind of made you so certain about it? I love that you guys are so into love. It's it's so adorable. Well, you know the title of the podcast,

it's imperfect, it's imperfectly perfect, the journey of love. I feel like with him, he I really like respected his brain. I feel like I'll meet a lot of guys who my age, and it's not like they're stupid or anything, but I'll just be like, I don't think he's he's like trying to improve himself or like, I don't know if he's like actually reflected on in life, Like some guys have squirrel brains when they're younger. I do think

guys emotionally mature later. I don't know, IM I just insulted you guys right now, I feel not at all. I thought you were gonna say. I thought you're gonna say. You know, when I meet guys my age, they're not stupid, but they're dumb as hell. It's not even intellectually, it's more like you can tell they don't want to settle down, they don't care to like connect in some ways, and

that's fine. I was emotionally unavailable too for a while to protect myself, so then I'd find other emotionally unavailable people and would just be like motion unavailable, which is just like a form of protecting yourself and being scared. But I met this guy who kind of like I think he knew what he wanted, so like a couple of weeks in, he was like, yeah, I could see

myself marrying you. And I like didn't know how to handle it because I'm so used to having to play it cool and the guy playing it cool, and then you have to play a little tricks on each other to show you're not that into it until someone gets the balls to be like I'm into it. So the fact this guy was like, yeah, I'm really into you, I was like, that's so hot, just for someone to

know that they're into someone. And then I got vulnerable and I realized, oh my god, I've never been vulnerable, Like I'm always the sarcastic, like keeping guests in, like you don't really know what's going on with me. I grew up with my dad being like, don't like guys to stracked you. I just kind of like always had a But this guy was like, yeah, I want to be with you. And then when you were secure enough in yourself you don't push it away and you're like

that's hot. That he sees something in me that he likes. And then with him, he was just very interesting, like he's traveled the world, he's he speaks a lot of languages. He's it's very very funny, with the same dark sense of humor. Um. When we first met, I actually within the first five minutes I kind of knew he was going to be a good one. Um, I can. I'll lead you into the story. I got into the fight with my dad. My dad wanted to go golfing and

his tea time. This is like white people problems, but his tea time was literally right when we were about to I was about to be dropped off to my date with Deaz and I hadn't gone a date in like six months. And my dad's like, oh, dropping you off thirty minutes early because I have a tea time. And I'm like, Dad, I'm trying to find love and you and mom have each other and I've been alone for six months. He's or whatever. He drops me off,

and it's like degrees. I'm sweating, shown of worngeanes and a piste to my dad And we hadn't thought that often in quarantine. But I was not happy, And does my fancy picks me up, and I was like, I'm so mad at my dad. Like I didn't even pretend to like have it together on the first day. I was like, I'm so mad at my Dad's so annoying. And he looks at me, he goes, at least your parents are alive. I mean, that's one way I'm looking

at it. I just started dying laughing, and I realized in that moment, like that was a test, Like if I had been like that's not funny, like being over, but immediately we just started laughing over his like sick, dark humor, and I immediately felt comfortable. Um, So humor has a really great way of breaking the ice and seeing seeing kind of what level of sick humor you have. Yeah, humor really brings us together, I feel, yeah, because it's all about like relatability, Like do you think have you

experienced this and do you have the same reaction? There's something visceral but making someone laugh or someone making you laugh, yeah, I mean on a date. Yeah, you're so controlled on a date trying to say the right things that if they could make you laugh, it's almost like an orgasm. It's a reaction, you know, something that you can't control, and Jared, it's like Jared's We've established it's like an

orgasm perfectly. I gotta ask, Okay, so you said, now that you've clarified that engagements are a proposals are not romantic, we gotta ask what was the proposal like between you and death? Great question? So he how did you? How did you experience it? Well, he would joke that he wanted to marry me, so then I would joke and I started sending him rings and then he responded like got it on it, And I didn't know if he

was joking or not. So our whole thing was like a bit to be honest, and then I got an interjector real quick, you're gonna have like five kids one day, and he's gonna be like, yeah, let's pump out number six. And you could be like, oh, the hilarious joke. This is the funniest ongoing prank of all time. Actually, every now done, I'm like, is this real? Is he for real?

Where's the punchhine? No? But he Actually I was at my parents house and my dad was talking to him in the other room, and then he walked in the other room where I could hear him and he said to my mom, I said, no, ha ha ha ha ha, like joking, And I was like, he's being sarcastic. Has just asked him, like for the blessing or whatever they do. So I feel like girls know, Like I feel like, I mean, with your show, you guys scare the ship out of the girls. But I feel like in most

normal situations, the girl can sense something's going on. I found things. Yeah. So also they don't talk about engagements, is like most of the time, you know, and if you don't know, that's so weird to have to consent to spending this your life with someone. It's almost kind of messed up. Right. And then also what I think is messed up if we're getting here, how like he's walking around. I have this this ring on the shiny thing he distracted me with, and he's walking around like

he's single. And I was like I want to. I was like, I want to get you a ring and he's like, no, they'll look ugly. I'm like, exactly, I need people not be into you. I need to a ring on it. Make sure everybody knows that you are a man. It's very old school. I feel like, but anyway, Yeah, it is kind of weird when you think about proposals. You're like, oh, you're going to spend the rest of your life with me, and it's like, well, I don't know what I'm gonna want in twenty years. What if

I changed my mind? No, it's so weird. And I guess because he's older, he kind of knew what he wanted. Um. But when I was at summer house, I had just met him two weeks before and we were into each other, but like, I don't really know the guy, but I kept calling him at night and I was would cry. We have phone sex, we talked about life, like we would go on full journeys from like midnight to four am, and then I have to film the next day, very

sleep deprived. Um, but you guys have seen your significant others in the trenches of reality TV pressure, and that's like how he met me. And I would argue, I'm not a big cry or I'm actually not. I do like drama, but I'm not normally the cause of it. Part of me was like maybe he saw me at this like crazy vulnerable state that he like made him fall for me because I a stand up joke. I called him every night being like I just fought with thirteen people and there's only seven on the cast, and

he was like, that's wiping material. Like do you guys feel like you would have fallen for your significant others if you hadn't seen them like crying and being really raw or was it just like a more difficult journey to get there because you guys had to deal with serious drama to get there. I mean, hey, I appreciate you turning this around on the host and asking us questions.

That's phenomenal. I think I think Jared can relate pretty heavily to that because you've seen Ashley through the highs and those, through a lot of things, and I think that not despite all that stuff, but like you found it, kind of found the beauty and all of it, and you came back to it and realize that's the person you live. I think for us, I'm not sure if

Reality TV helped or heard us. It was just kind of there because honestly, you know, we started following in a lot with each other, more so off the show when like I remember the first time where I saw Ashley, you know, with her family and hanging out on her you know, environment and feeling comfortable and confident and watching football with her, and then that's when I could start really picturing her life with her. It wasn't so much

on the show. So that's really interesting though. Yeah, I don't know if it was like the show that was like, oh, because you guys went through this crazy thing together, that's why you fell in love with the one another. I was like, I don't know. I think it was more of like the low key type of stuff. But you're right, like the show definitely makes you face your your not face your fears, but you know, yeah, face your demons more that you have to like discuss things that you

usually wouldn't discuss than normal every day to long. Yeah, I joke how like the Bachelor often doesn't work because like you're put on a beautiful island with like a mandalin player and like it's so romantic, where like relationships are actually about the day to day sitting on the couch and like also are you good at fighting? Like can you put together an ikea couch together? And stuff and like very important things. Yes, the mundane. I think

we're also seeing it specifically in Bachelor these times. I don't know if you watched the show, but I think there's a lot to be said that people want to be in a bachelor relationship, Like I think there are a lot of people who prioritize being a bachelor couple rather than just a couple. I think that extends further on. That just kind of goes along with being in a television relationship because there's like a monetary game behind it. I'm only focusing on the batchelork Is obviously we're from

the franchise, and but you're absolutely right, that's all over TV. No, I know. It makes me nauseous because like, yeah, I've never been in a public relationship. It is like my second public relationship. And to have people like betting on how long it's gonna last, and to have people like straight up judging like who you should be with, Like that's it's crazy. And like when I people are mean to me online, but when someone's mean to Deaz, I get so upset and then I feel like it's my

fault because I brought him on the show. Like these are the stuff that you guys have to deal with as reality TV couples. Like people don't understand. I think it's hard. I mean, I I agree, but I want to come back to something that we talked about when we met in New York was you were saying how I don't want I don't want overstand my boundaries. But you're saying how you're in you know, post reality TV therapy, which I think is a good thing, and I think

we should always advocate for therapy. I think it doesn't it's not just the TV couples, it's every TV individual because you're put under a certain amount of scrutiny and you have to deal with a lot of things that you never had to deal with before. So you're saying a lot about couples, but I think suppertains to the individual as well. Um, and I just want to touch

on one thing real quick. You were talking about, uh, you know, everyone kind of being in the stressful environment and being on reality TV and like how could anyone love you in that environment? And it's funny because Kalin, for instance, Um, she you know, she has been on reality t V a couple of times and she was

very She's very easy to stress out. She's very stress double if you will, and she she gets crunched under that stress, very very easily, and we constantly talk about how much of a dream it would be for both of us to go on amazing race together, And in the back of my head every single time she says it, I'm like, bro, you know how stressed out you get about the lesti mundane, insignificant things. I am like terrified to go on another TV show with you wh we're

racing around the world. So I see your point where it's like you can find like, how can you expect anyone to love you at your best when they can't

even love you at your worst kind of thing? But um, yeah, I don't know, I fully understan where you're coming from, but yeah, it's you've seen people at such highs and lows, so it's almost like yeah, Like I mean, Ashley is like the best to me, and that like she was always so raw and so herself because to me, the scariest thing is someone's not being authentic with you, and like you knew you'd never you'd never have to worry about that with her. Ashley is the definition of what

you see is what you get. It is insane because people, you know, ask me all the time what's actually really like It's like you know if you've seen the show or follow her on Instagram, you know exactly what she's like. And it's funny. As someone who, like I'm not known to cry a lot. I actually try not to cry. I did Reality t V and I'm actually a highly sensitive person. If you're not crying during Reality TV, you're crazy. You're a psycho. Like she was just being fully human

and stuff. So anyway, shout out to I guess I agree with that. I I cried. Yeah, you've cried on TV. You cried on TV. I don't want to talk about me crying. I gotta ask. Okay, So, Hannah, you said that you guys when you and does on your first date right like your you love to emphasize the dark humor. Has ever been a point where you guys have like drawn a line or is everything fair game for you guys?

Very valid question. I feel like some of our fights in the beginning was because he would like poke at something as a joke but like kind of being serious, and I'd be like, you know that, here's my feelings and He'll be like, I'm joking. It's comedy and I'd be like, yeah, I know what comedy is. So we'd like have that back and forth and then I'd say something like that I know pushes buttons, but I'm like, I'm joking, So that's annoying. We do that to each other.

So so let's wait, let's expand upon that, because exactly what you just said is exactly how Kylin and I treat each other all the time as well. So have you have you worked past it? Is there a workaround? Is there a solution? Like, what's your solution all this? Well? I love being with somebody who bust my balls, Like I love to poke fun and if you can't like poke fun back, I get bored. But it's like I finally met my match where he like, well make me upset.

Sometimes I think it's like like being corny for a second and being like like he'll he'll joke about like my last season em real I TV and be like maybe if you didn't do this, and I'm like, I haven't it's recovered from that yet, Like I'm still working

on that. You have to. I think you just overcommunicate and you're not like being lame by being like that's not funny, but you also have to fight about it, Like he'll joke because I always joke about like my tennis career, and he'll make a joke about my test career and I'll be like, I could joke about it, you can't not that hurt um. So I think a

lot of relationships. I've been reading a lot about the stages of relationships where like at first it's the honeymoon that sor everyone knows about, but no one talks about like the boundary seeking moments. So like Dean, it's like a lot of boundary pushing where you guys are just kind of pushing boundaries to find like where you exist. And I think just being vulnerable every now and then and being like like you know that they weren't trying to hurt you. You know, they just went a little

too far. So just being like I've been finding these boundaries out. I remember Ashley, it's just earlier this year, before she was pregnant, and it was like, I'm self conscious about getting pale during the winter because I know it sounds so stupid, but it's just an insecurity mind because I feel like I look like a different human being when I'm pale, and I feel I feel much more confident when I have color, So Anyway, I walked into the living room one day and Ashley was like, wow,

you look really pale today. And I was like, yeah, well, you look really pimp ley today. And she started crying and I was like, my god. I was like, She's like, you know, it's a insecurity of mine. I know I have that skin. I was like, I'm sorry. I was just you know, I'm secure about being pale. I don't not like her pimples. But in the moment, oh, it was like, oh my god, Jared. She started it so like, good on you man, that was my point exactly. But

she said it was more hurtful. And then she called her mom and asked her mom what was more hurtful? And I'm like, Jesus, Ashley, please, for the love of God, put the phone down, keep this between us. Oh my god. I love that after a fight or whatever, calling the mom and being like, who is actually in the wrong. Oh, we don't have a fight just between her and I.

It like involves the entire family. She's got to call her sister, she calls her mom, she's and then like she'll start saying it on the phone and like I'm giving her a look as if like Hey, this is our stuff. Don't And she's just like what they don't care? And I'm like, I care, I care, Okay, I can't. They don't know, like the depth of what actually happens

behind close nobody knows context. Yeah, And I don't want to throw you guys into the fire again, but I would love to watch, like after the Bachelor show of like Dean and Kaylin running around the mountains and then like you guys like fighting while she's like eating ice cream pregnant. Like that's what I want to watch, Dared. You guys should make a show like that. We should call it what now? Uh? An inside joke, Jared did actually make a show about that. It was years ago.

It was a digital show. But we're still waiting for the second season to be green Land. Well, there there were some issues with it, which I don't think legally we can talk about, but I digress. Can I can? I ask you guys a question too that I feel like only you'd understand. Vast Nation is very like there's

couples of the moment. Is it weird to like be in a couple and be like hot and everyone's talking about it and then like you're not as relevant and then like something happens again in your hot again, Like isn't that weird as a couple to deal with the like ups and downs of you being an item for people to like get excited or not excited about all

this one first. So I remember when I was going to therapy, my therapist specifically said that I have a I have an issue with being comfortable, and I anytime anything like become you know, like expected or like plateaued, I find a way to like pull myself down, like find a way to like die bomb everything just so I can regain back to just where I was initially. So I feel like that's kind of how I'm I am in relationships to where like everything's going great and

I'm like, man, this is just boring. Let's go ahead and this up really bad and see if we can just dig ourselves out of the hole and see what I'm comfortable with. Chaos. Uh what, it's not so much the chaos, I think, what what it is? And my my therapist put this pretty well, and she said it was a huge issue and I'm still working through it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not proud of this. Um. She said that I've got a real I've got like an addiction to proving to myself that I can do

certain things. You know. So it's like I used to like make myself go broke all the time just to like put pull myself out of that financial hole like that kind of stuff. I mean, that's one way to go through life. It's still it's it's frustrating because it's like so just ingrained in me. Um, I will say the there's been like a semi cure to that, like a band aid. I guess you could say, is that band aid called Kalin know this band that bands called

to help I suck at dating? Because every week Jared asks me questions that I give answers to that are very dumb, and they take a very small bit of context and they put a headline up and then it's all of a sudden become you know, us weekly. Not that those are big headlines or anything like that, but hey,

gets us more listeners. You're right exactly. So to to your question, Um, having a podcast about dating while you're dating someone kind of helps keep that I don't want to see interest out there, but it allows me to put my foot in my mouth enough times to where, Uh, it doesn't happen quite as frequently, I guess if you will. But it's funny because sometimes when you're doing your best is when you're the most boring to the public. A thousand. It's just so weird because it's like, only you guys

will understand this. Oh, do you know to many conversations Ashley and I have had where it's like we have nothing to post. This is we've got nothing. We are so boring, dude, I so okay. So reverse like ten maybe like twelve years I was in college and I was dating this girl and I like, I can't remember what it was. I think I called her boring or something, and she was, she said in response, she goes, Literally, the worst insult you could ever tell me is that

I'm boring. And I've that's stuck with me so much. I would weigh rather I would be anything else in the entire world. I don't want to be boring, So like, as long as I can avoid being boring, I'm totally

okay with it. But I also think people don't talk enough about how like the dopamine does change like it always does, and I'm a big romantic and like I love, having butterflies and stuff, but like you have to accept at some point that like long term relationships when you're married are not full of those highs and they're full of like more like the calmness. And I recently watched the TikTok about this, um so it's legit research on this topic. Yeah, getting the A D H D TikTok's.

But someone was basically like, your brain gets more stimulated with negativity rather than positivity, which was like fascinated to me. So you're just like you when things are too calm and positive, you like, we'll make up to be more stimulated, which is dean kind of what you're saying. I think we see that in society now. It's just not like a human thing. I think we're always comming something. The news is like, yeah, King got saved, but look at

all these burning bushes. Uh. And you know, the best piece of advice I ever got with dealing with love, or one of the best piece of advice was somebody said, don't forget the person that you marry is going to be the person that you have a conversation with every day for the rest of your life. And don't forget about that. So that was always that always stuck with back in my mind. But Hannah, thank you so much for joining us. I gotta I just gotta say one

more thing. I gotta I gotta commend Hannah real quick because and then and then I'll take us to the break. Don't you wearry chaired? I just gotta say us to Hannah for watching a TikTok learning something and saying you learned it from a TikTok, Because if it was me, I would have a thousand percent said I read a journal on Wall Street or an article on Walltter journal about this. I read an article in Science today. You said exactly what it is. I never would have said TikTok.

I would have been like, I read this in the New York Times or something. It's because it's wrong. I could just blame TikTok. But can I ask you one more question? Yeah, So I met this guy I filmed a reality TV show, and he knows me four or five months for who I am. And then the reality TV show airs, and it's like showing sides of me that are like very cut up and weird and trying

to portray a stir narrative. How did you deal with your relationships when you have a rough season or like a rough um portrayal on tv M. What do you think? Just constant communication even when Ashley and I weren't together and we're going through the situation we went through on our second season of Paradise together. Uh, you know, I remember just a lot of times talking things out and just being on the phone, and you know, there's a lot of emotions and crying and why you know, what's

this or what's that? But I mean, at the end of the day, I think as long as you're level headed and realized that it is a reality TV show and like things will be taking out of context, and you know, not everything is as it seems. I mean, it's very real and raw, but of course, like there are moments or elements that are of course taken out of context. I mean that's the show. The things film three days and narrowed down to an hour and twenty minutes,

So I think having that understanding really helped as well. Yeah, yeah, I think similar boat. I remember when Bachelor's seasons Paradise with season six was airing, and there was not like inconsistencies, but like unanswered questions and to Jared's point, all of it is just like having the gusto to go up to your partner and be like, why is this the way that it appears? And then I can explain themselves like, Okay, cool,

I I accept that why is this happening now? And as long as like everything kind of aligns in your eyes. And there were moments too, especially like at the beginning of mine and Kent's relationship, where we were rocky to an extent um. But at the end of the day, it's like we were always honest with each other. I think, yeah, I don't here so I can say it went one up.

How did you deal with it? I mean I just had He was more just helping me with the comments and stuff, and he'd just be like, don't listen to the comments because like he knew what happened every day I told him in real time. Then why did he cut the video that way? What do you mean, Well, you're saying, oh you're oh, you're saying is I thought you're talking about the guy that you made the video with.

Oh no, no. Dez was basically like, I just don't listen to the comments when the show was coming out, But like I was losing some self esteem when things were like going bad, and I had to be like, no, that's like Hana on TV versus like the hand of here. I have to believe in myself and believe I'm like worthy of love, even if a TV show is like going against that. Right now, there's definitely there's definitely two different people. It's the person on TV in the person

in reality. Uh, And it's hard to kind of the beauty, at least for Jared and I is that our partners were also from the same arena more or less as I know, at least was on TV for a little bit, but uh, not to the same extent that you were. So I think it's a there's at least a little bit of a mismatch. But yet I think it just comes down to communication. But I will say, we've gone a way over a time. Hannah, you're not coming back for Summer House season? Is it Winter House? Now? Who cares?

You're not on It doesn't matter? Tell us, tell us what you got going on next? Um, yes, see me, do stand up. I'm all over the place at hannahburn dot com. I'm going to be in l A soon. I'll hurt you guys up, if you're around, I'm going to be in Buffalo, New Jersey, Florida. Who knows so Handaburn dot com and listen to my podcast Burning in Hell and Giggly Squad and follow me at Being Burns Nice. Love it. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Don't watch Summer House, but do all those things that

an I just said to do. I know I'm going to be doing that. Support reality TV. That's right, and thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Uh. We can't wait to see more from you. Thank you so much, guys. Sorry for going over time, little chatterboxes. Yeah, okay, hey everybody. Scott Patterson, we are going to have Milo vent Amelia on the podcast today and we are dropping the episode immediately. We are very excited to have him. He's a he's an old, dear friend, and he gave us.

He gave us some time, which is he doesn't have any time, but he gave us some time, and we really, really really appreciate it. So we're gonna do this interview with Milo, uh and we're gonna drop it immediately as soon as we can get it all cobbled together. This crack team I have and we're just very, very excited about it. So anyway, listen to my podcast I Am all in right now on I Heart Radio, app, Apple

Podcast and everywhere you listen to podcasts. Welcome back everyone to help I suck at dating and Jared Man What an interview with Hannah Burner. She is something else's very funny. She's a character. She is a character, but beyond that, she's a human being that she is just like you and I can get it. We're gonna get into some listener emails. I kind of wish Hannah was here to answer these emails with that. Do you mind if I read it? I'm I'm in the mood. I feel like

I have my reading voice on. Can we call Hannah back and get here to help us answer some of these emails? Well answer, yeah, totally. I mean she's nowhere to be fine. We have Riley. If Riley wants to, you know, chime in and help us answer these emails because we always need a female perspective. She is Riley is going to help us out with these emails. I've

got one request. What We've got two emails. Let's take the time to answer one and then let's call Hannah back and hey, pipe dream what are we thought our pipe dreams? Let's call her and then have her help us answer the second one. What do you say? Is that crazy? Am I crazy? I think you're crazy? Yeah, somebody get hand on the line. See if we can get her a call in no, no, no, no no will answer williamswer me and you and Riley will capably handle

this first one. Yeah, that's what I mean. And then get her on the line for the second one, and then okay, and then again and then this, man, how can you do this? How can how can we structure this? You're right, You're right. It's probably not going to be able to happen. But it's just I read read the email reading. Here's the first email, of course, from anonymous. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. When we started dating, he was really motivated to work

out and was losing a lot of weight. Fast forward to now a year later, and he's putting some of the weight on, and from what I can tell, maybe from stress eating. I'm a very healthy person who has kept a good workout regiment and a good diet all my adult life and would like a partner who does the same, which it looked like he was doing when we first met. The problem is now we're year into this. I love him and this is really the only problem, but it is bothering me. I don't want it to

be our whole future thoughts. What should I do? Yeah, my thought is I'm looking over to see Kalen and I'm asking why did she email our podcast anonymous? Dude, if you're out of shape, then we got bigger issues. Oh my gosh, no, I said, every single week, every chance I can get, I am getting out of shape horribly. Caitlin gets hotter by the day. I get a little fatter,

a little stough. Yer. Um, I think. I think what it is is there's something about COVID and quarantine and just everything that's been happening in the world over the past year or two that's like demotivated a lot of people. And I know because I'm one of those people that's been demotivated. Like I used to work out six times a week. I used to eat super healthy. I would drink once a week, maybe twice a week. Now I haven't. I haven't touched, I haven't been to a weight room.

Him a Jim, I haven't gone on a run in years, and I drink five times a week. So my i'm my diet and lifestyle is getting worse, and my workout regiment is become non existent. Um. And so I want you to give this guy the been of the fit of the doubt, because I hope Kalin is also giving me the benefit of the doubt. If you will. Yeah, But my question is, so is Calin Like what if Calin came up to you and said, hey, we should

run together, we should work out together. Would you be offended by that or would you say, okay, no, I can do that. Well, I know she would never ever say that. Kalen has a has had eight pack abs and she loses ten pounds over the course of a month simply by willing it into existence, lies and age things. She's only twenty five, you have very lucky. Um, She's also has she's twenty six. She hates that I always think she's twenty five. She's gotta She's got a far

better diet than I don't I do. She doesn't eat meat, she is very conscious of what she puts in her body. And also she only meets half of her meals and whenever she does that, I eat the other half. Tell her wait till she's thirty two. As Adam Sandler said, I I have jello and my ask jiggles for a week. Um. So you know, I think for this, uh, listen, you can address it by not addressing it. I think if you guys do workout plans together, if you go on

runs together, you already have a very active lifestyle. Why not just invite him? Dean shaking his head, but like, what are you supposed to do? What if you know this is very important to her, She wants a partner who's very much into a healthy lifestyle like she is. Invite him to a run, Invite him to if you live in l A Laurel Canyon, you guys can hike together. It will be a grand old day. Then you can

have a nice dinner in the park. Yeah. I think as long as it's not like overboard, like as long as he's not becoming like more really obese, I would say, just kind of like like you're saying, take him on hikes every once in a while. I like, sometimes I wish Kalin would more be more like, let's go climb this mountain, Let's go climb that rock. But at the end of the day, it's like, I love her for the person that she is, and so I think that maybe this anonymous person needs to be like more accepting

of her boyfriend for being a little chunky. Alright, Riley, do you have any thoughts. I think she's being a little harsh. I know it's been an amount of time, but I agree. I think she should give him some slack with everything that's been going on. And I think she's like taking to extreme that she thinks this is going to be forever, Like maybe just look at it as like a season instead of his forever lifestyle. And

quarantine has not helped. Dude. It's so funny too, because I'm sure we can all attest to the same thing where it's like at the beginning of quarantine February or what would be like April twenty twenty, everyone's like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to use these three months to get in the best shape of my life. I'm gonna work out every morning, I'm gonna eat healthy. All of a sudden, four months later, you're like, oh my god, I've gained twenty pounds. What am I doing? So I

agree with Riley. It's a season, it's a phase. It's going to pass. If he had that mindset when you guys first met, he'll find that mindset again, hopefully if he wants to enough. I know, again personally, drawing from my own experiences, I know that I need to get back in the gym, and I am ready to get back in the gym. And it's just a matter of time, right, So it's like, hopefully in this case, this guy is just a matter of time to get back in the gym and getting restoring his body back to how it

used to be. All right. Our second email, of course, comes from you guessed it Anonymous? Yes, good job. Before we answer this email, I want to call Hannah back. And we're gonna answer this email with Hannah. Okay, I mean, are you gonna call her? I'm gonna call her right now? Do you even have service? Where the hell are you? I am going to call her? Everyone stand by, we're standing. Can you gotta put on speaker and put it right next to the mic. We want to be able to

hear this conversation. There. It is, there, it is. I can hear it ring. And now hello, hey Hannah, Sorry, Um, we know you let you go. We gotta bring you back for this last email. It's got your name written all over it and we couldn't answer it with act. You said, do you mind? Oh, hell yeah, let's do it. Dean's had seventy two glasses of wine and he refused to do another email without you. So I'm so glad you're back. It's anything better to do today? This do

it perfectly well. This one is from Anonymous. So we have this joke going on Hannah that Anonymous is actually Nick Vial and then he just he just emails us constantly all the time. I saw Nick on TikTok recently, he's all over TikTok. He does a great job. Yeah, what do we think it is TikTok's? Can we before we get into Anonymous, is TikTok? What do we thinking that?

I'm really happy that Nick found someone because he was confusing my ask when he was like basically explaining love to everyone, and I'm like, but Nick, you haven't found it, so what's going on? But then he found it? So now I'm like, he's the love girl and she's awesome, and seeing I like seeing the way he is now

so with Nick, and Dean can attest this. There are times where Nick is like peak Nick, and so he's great to be around, you know, because like Nick sometimes isn't the best to be around, because like he knows it. He can be like detached and like not self aware and be on his phone constantly, and and but there are moments where Nick is just amazing and you're like, that's the guy. That's the guy I love, and that's

the guy I'm friends with. He is that guy all the time now, because well I actually I've met Nick a couple of times, and one thing I really love about him is he tells it like it is, and I respect that a lot in a person. He tells it how it is, and he always has his shirt off about it. He's self aware. And the beard is the beard was such a game changer for that guy. Man, I wish I could grow a beard like him, said, I got do you want Do you want to read this email? Do you want me to read it? How

do you want to do that? I got it ready? All right? So this is from anonymous. Hi, I'm in a tricky situation. I've been single for most of my life then started dating more when I was twenty nine, then met my current boyfriend that year. We met on Hinge and have been together for a year this month. I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to last more than just a few months. He was super keen after the second date, but he's so different from who I would normally be interested in, so it took me a

little bit longer to get there. We've been talking about marriage. Uh, We've been talking about marriage since fairly early on in our relationship, and he pretty much said he's ready to propose when I say I'm ready. He's thirty three and I'm thirty. Now. I'm just not sure if this is it. It doesn't feel how I thought it would, and I'm not sure if that's just because society chick flips chick flicks set you up with unrealistic expectations, or because I'm

very careful with big decisions. I'm not sure if I should be waiting until I feel quote in love or how to know if it's right. Yeah, So I'm just gonna go I'm gonna go ahead. I'm gonna see this off real quick. I know it's a little different because Hannah, you were head over heels with Daz right away from eating. But a lot of the other things line up pretty

well with your situation. So I just want to see that up for you, and I would love for you to just kind of no. I totally get it where I've dated a lot and then met someone who is serious. Getting married is a serious thing, and I think I got excited with all like the butterflies, and I was

deeply in love with this guy. I think with her, fucking wait, there's no rush, and like, keep experiencing him, keep learning about him, and I say, make an educated decision, and if I just believe in your gut, And she sounds a little scared, and I don't think you should force yourself until like but also people do joke like or they say you're gonna know, you're gonna know, No one ever knows. It's always a little bit of a risk. So I think that she gives herself more time. What

do you guys think, I gotta say it to. One of the biggest detriments to relationships in society in general is that mindset where it's like when you know you know, or know like this person said, anonymous said, like there's like a romance idea of how your relationship should be, and a hundred times it's not going to be that way, and people like expect it to be that way, and when it's not, they get scared run away. So it's like, it's just not. It's just not. It's not going to

be that way. And at the end of the day, it's like, if you like this person enough to spend every day with them and know that you're gonna spend every day with them, like Jared said earlier, it's like you're gonna have a conversation with this person for the rest of your life. Like if you can see that happening, that should be enough more or less to at least give it a fair chance. Um, so I fully agree

it take your time. Marriage is a big decision and in in you know, in an ideal world, we're all gonna get married once and that's the end of it. Uh Fortunately, unfortunately we don't live in that ideal world. But do your best to make sure that that decision is the best decision for you. And like you said, no rush, just have fun with it and understand that just because you don't have like these intense butterflies love at first sight feeling doesn't mean that this isn't your

forever person. Yeah, I totally agree. I mean it's if you really want to know. I feel like you should break up with a person if you can't stop thinking about them, then you know that you don't want to go on in life without them. But that's also a big risk. Where you're saying break up, I'm not saying you should. I'm saying it's an option on the table. And see if you feel like you lost the love of your life. I mean, isn't it who whose song is that where it's like the only way to know

is to let it go. I think that's like Sarah Burry ellis. So maybe you shouldn't say no. I gotta say anonymous, JAREDY, I appreciate what you're doing. You're playing Devil's advocate, but that's the dumbest advice you ever given. Man. I'm just saying, what happens if they break up and now she knows he goes murder him, murder him, see if see if you feel anything, When you feel pain, then you know you made a mistake. Jared, that is

super toxic. Don't break up with a guy just to see if you're not, if you can't live like without him, that's such bad advice. He's like, lock him in the basement, don't if you feel bad, just put the TV on. He'll be fine. You give them reave meals a day, and then you waited out two weeks and then if you want to move on, you can, and if not, then you might be in jail for a little while. But it's totally worth it in the end. What do

you call Jared toxic? Oh well, no, he's not toxic, but that was very toxic gave Please don't do that anyways. Definitely don't you And thank you so much for joining us for that call. I'm sorry for taking away from from your Yeah, but I appreciate that. We appreciate you again. Uh. Please go to Hannah Berner dot com to follow where she's gonna be next. That's Hannah b E R n e r dot com, or just follow on social media.

That's also a good solution. Thank you to everyone else, Jared of course, Hannah, Riley Easton, Mark, everyone else at I Heeart Radio. Thank you tune in next week where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow hell by suck at Dating on I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcast