Never Have I Ever

all blend together. It is crazy to think that California takes up the entire West coast, and then you think of the East coast. From the size of California, there's got to be I don't know that's a good point. I guess there's only four states that bordered the western western facing states that bordered the Pacific, and there's probably like twenty on the East coast that border the Atlantic. It's crazy, man, you know. Crazy, That's what we are.

We are. We are a geography class podcast. That's what we're turning into right now because you know, datings on halt during COVID. I'm glad we can agree on the scale of crazy that that really truly is. And then and then it doesn't stop there. But then you also have the Gulf States like Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, those kinds of art in the Atlantic Ocean too, because the Gulf of Mexico is at the Atlantic. I don't know who knows. Anyways, we got a great episode for you guys this week.

We have Matt and Leah. You probably know them more formally by their wrestling names, which they're from the w w E. It's Matt Polinsky and Lea Van Dale. And then Lee is on Total Diva's Ever Watch that. I do not watch that show. I'm not big in the w w E either, but they do seem like a pretty cute couple. I was going to introduce them by their wrestling names, but I think that they because of their new podcast that they're releasing one and more affectionately

go by Leah and Matt. So we're gonna get to them in a little bit. Um, we are going to play a game later on. Tory loves her games, so we're gonna jump in one of those later on as well. But in the meantime, Jared, oh no, this is focused on you. It's a big week for you. This is Caitlin's birthday week, it is Calin's birthday is coming up, and the pressure is on. I feel the pressure, especially because she knocked it out of the park so well

with my birthday a couple of months ago. What what did she do again, you asked, That is what I asked, Yes, she, I mean it was a quarantine birthday, so it's like what can you do? But she made the most of it. She like made me breakfast in bed with the whole menu. She got some like some lunch brought in from my favorite restaurants. She got me all the gifts that I wanted. She set up a little movie theater in our other bedroom for us to watch my favorite movie, Oh, Interstellar,

that's right. One of the things she did that was the cutest thing ever was the Picnic Collective, which now I'm like a huge fan of them, where they make these pre made picnics and they like drop it up, drop it off at your place, or they can set it up at the beach for you. I did that was actually I did that with actually in Hawaii. It was our like it was our first like vacation after we came out as a couple. It is the cutest thing ever. Everybody, this is the perfect date at night,

date day idea. Ever, it was a great date idea. Uh. In addition to that, this is where the one hiccup that she had she overdid it a little much. She did the Picnic Collective, which was fantastic. They give you fruits and cheeses and crackers and you could just munch. I think they were champagne too. But she also ordered

some Domino's pizza, which I love Domino's pizza. But it was just a lot of cheese and a lot of bread and we were only able to eat so much of it because there was there's a little too much food, which how can I'm not complaining, I'm just saying the picnic the Picnic Collective provides a lot of food. Dominoes obviously is a lot of food in itself. So so anyways, pointed, she knocked it out of the park. So now the

pressure is on me to do the same. The chat leunge here is well, it's kind of like a pros and con. So the pro is I got to see exactly how big she went from my birthday, so I can replicate that rather than going in blind and not knowing how big to go. Uh. The con here is that our one year anniversary is a couple of days after her birthday. So it's like, if your birthday is on December and your parents got you a joint Christmas and birthday gift, you are upsets. So do I get

her a joint birthday and anniversary gift? Or do I do two distinct different things. Didn't you just answer your own question? Listen, Yes, from the from the perspective of the parents, it makes sense to do one gift. But from the perspective of the children receiving the gifts, obviously you're gonna want to gifts. And she she made a comment about getting me an anniversary president, and I was like, oh wait, you're gonna get me an anniversary president. Why, like, boy,

would you do that? And she goes, I don't know, I just want to. And so that kind of adds the pressure to separate and do a birth the gift and a anniversary gift. So we're gonna see what happens. I've got some stuff picked out, I I know some things that she wants. I've got some funny gifts and some more meaningful gifts and some more practical gifts. But but yeah, man, I've never really been the best with birthdays.

I'm more into like the spontaneous gift giving. This is a good conversation topic though, because it's you guys have been dating for a year now, Like, what is the level of gifts that you give? Like have you celebrated month to month or you guys going for your big bang for a year? Do you do just flowers? Is a more thoughtful like I wonder what the history is

that you're supposed to take with anniversary gifts. I think the one year anniversary gift is the engagement ring gift, right, I'm right on the story, right, is it is that what you got actually after you guys one year? No, I waited like three months, that's true, I guess, But that's technically four years of relationships. You know, you guys

were you guys were friends for four years earlier. So the first year together it is something that is paper, Second year is cotton, third years leather, fourth year flute, flute, fruit, flowers, linen or silk, And there's this whole thing that goes on. So why don't you just start your tradition now with something that has to do with paper. Yeah, I guess I could get like like a hundred dollar bill or something like that. Here's a hundred dollars, spend it. Um, Yeah,

I think that's kind of more. It doesn't that kind of more relate to marriage and stuff. So one year dating. When we first started dating, we would, uh, well she I guess would be like, hey, it's there one month anniversary. Hey, it's our two month anniversary. Hey. But then after about like a month four, we kind of stopped caring so much. So yeah, the one year, um, it's kind of bigger.

Her grandparents live out in near Las Vegas, so we're going to drive out there for her birthday and spend a couple of days out there, just like with her family. But other than that, I mean, there's nothing crazy planned.

I wanted to. This is my plan before COVID struck, was to on her birthday give her plane tickets, preferably to like the Maldives and then on and the plane tickets would depart on the anniversary, so you know, she gets the gift on the birthday and then we celebrate on the anniversary and we go to this place that she's wanted to go. Obviously, I can do that against some other time, and I think I'll do it next year. Hopefully she's not listening to this or we'll not listen

to this, but but yeah, I don't know. Uh. Do you guys think that if you underperform on a birthday or anniversary it's a it's a red flag or a bad sign or something to argue about. What's your experience with with underperforming? Yeah, you get yelled at if you underperform. I think as long as you put thought into the gift. Like a lot of the gifts that I get Ashley, they're they're not materialistic things. Their letters or like I give her like coupons, it's like two free back massages

or you know, one makeout sesh. You know, find like stuff like that, you know that, trying to keep it fun and light. That's kind of like my go to for gifts. Hey, Jared, I'm gonna cash in on my makeout sesh, right, that's it. She hasn't cashed in on it yet. It just happens, you know. I think that's a good thing, though she hasn't had. I hope you brought your chapstick because I'm about to suck those lips dry. Interesting, Interesting, your lips dry? Haven't heard Tori as a female? What

gift would you want? Well, I would say it stems from and I know you guys are probably eye roll, but what their love languages. And for me, like I am someone who appreciates gifts, but not like materialistic in the sense of like get me diamonds, although you know we all love that. I'm more of like I appreciate when you know somebody's put attention and thought into it. So as long as that's happening, I think that nobody

can really be disappointed. But if you're like just showing up, being like, well I just looped it together, and then on our anniversary you really do anything, It's fine, but I would still need you to do like, hey, picked you flowers, like you have to spend money on me, but like show a little effort even on our anniversary. Yeah,

a little effort goes a long way. So for Christmas this past year, we exchanged gifts, and I feel like Calin thought that she uh that that I outperformed her in the gift giving, and so she went all out and made up for it for my birthday, which then puts me in a position where like, Okay, I could either try to do more than she did for my birthday or like kind of recalibrate and shoot for under the bar so that way we're not always trying to go all out for each other during birthdays and Christmas

and stuff. So I don't know, we'll see. Maybe this is something that we should just get rid of. We too, we put too much pressure on gifts, you know, maybe we should. I think that you should talk to your significant other. And what if a couple had a partnership, they had, you know, an agreement that said no gift giving unless it's like something like flowers, because don't you think, like now you're talking about am I gonna go too much? Am I gonna buy her too much? I don't know.

My thing is, my big thing with the receiving gifts is as like, look, if I want something, I already have it because I'm just gonna go out and get it, Like I don't. I don't wait for you to buy me things, all right. I don't need to be bought things. I I already have everything that I want or you need. It's typically gonna be a camera equipment. If I need something or want something, I'll just go out and get it.

So that kind of puts a gift giving or gift receiving in a precarious position too, because it's like, like, she got me a go Pro, a brand new GoPro this birthday, which is great because I've been meaning to get one anyways, But that was kind of like a one off, I don't know, so coming up she's turned in twenty, I don't know, or something like that somewhere somewhere in her mid twenties. Uh, you're you're already starting

the birthday week off of a bang bro. Yeah, you can only go up from here, do any of you guys? Speaking of gifts, obviously you have had relationships in the past. What are your what are you supposed to do with gifts once you break up with the person? Like, do

you keep it? Do you give it back? Do you like, let's say to nice camera or let's say it's assigned Tom Brady Jersey that he was gifted from an X you guys, but but like, what is somebody that's something like that they've given to you where you're like, I really physically can't give it back. I've kept I've kept sentimental gifts from from an X, But I want to know what the like, what is the caliber, like what was it so that we can decipher was a right

for you to keep or not? Well, that's what I mean. It was it was I don't know. It was a it was a beautifully well made booklet where uh, it was just it was like a kind of like a story book of our life and or our relationship at the time. And it's just like I remember when we broke up and I was like going through stuff as I was moving and I found it, and it's like, I can't throw this out, like it's it's a part

of my life. It's like a part of who I am, And there was so much thought and effort put into this that I'm supposed to just throw it away as if it was nothing. So I have it. It's stored away, but I have it. That would be my advice. I don't know something unless like they cheat on you or they do you wrong, than you know, burn everything. But I I I do keep things I do. It's a good way to remember that point in your life, you know.

I will say, when I was moving out of my house, and moving into the van, I've discovered an old shoe box that I had that had the similar things like the keepsakes, the mementos from past relationships, like handwritten birthday cards and like things like that. Uh, And I like looked at him, opening him up, laughed a little bit, and then I just chucked the whole box in the

trash game. That sounds about right. So so up until last year, I had kept everything I had received from any like girlfriend or whatever that had written me cards, especially like the more meaningful ones. And then I was just like, you know what, enough is enough. I'm thrown these away. So I think, follow up, follow up to that, because if you've had that box for a while, why now did you want to get rid of it? Um?

I think that a lot of us kind of have packrat tendencies and they want to keep these things, especially like those unique things that can't be recreated, like Jared's box Jared's book for instance. Um. But yeah, it's like why, I don't know, why would I want to keep a card that was written for me from a girl that I did it when I was nineteen? Uh? What purpose does that serve for me in my life? You know, was it a long relationship or was it just a fling?

It was like my serious girlfriend in college, Okay, because the gift that I have from this particular person. We dated for almost four years. So it's like, you know, you know, you still care for the person as a human, and you're like, I can't I can't throw this out. I can't do it. Feels like I'm like stabbing them. You know. Does Ashley still have that booklet though, Jared, I don't know, honestly. I mean, I'm gonna tell, but it's some are in storage. I don't know where it is,

but I know that it's there. And so I don't think I've ever really thought of telling Ashley, but I guess now would I feel guilty if I don't tell her? It was so thoughtful. It was hard for you to throw that away. Yeah, when I found it, it it was like I'm not And I was with Ashley when I saw it, and I was like, I can't throw this way, Like, I'm just gonna keep it in storage, keeping a bin. And it's like, you know, in in a storage area,

and that's it. I see where you're coming from. But I'm just gonna go full blown devil's advocate and say, it's just gonna only create The only possibility of you keeping this thing is future friction, you know what I mean, where it's like, you don't need to relive those memories because you're creating new ones with your wife. You don't need your wife finding an old memory book of you and an ex girlfriend because that's just gonna make her.

You know. I'm not saying she's gonna be insecure, but like, that's only what it's going to kind of breed. So in my opinion, I think you should just toss it. I think any type of those like by holding on to things like that, like cards and photo albums, it's you holding onto the possibility that you might soon return to that relationship that I think that it might be. I don't I don't know. I think that by having these things, you're like, in the back of your head,

you're like, well, what if we get back together. I want to keep this book just in case, you know what I mean. No, that's not what I was going through my head. What was going through my head was just it was sad. I have one last comment that I think is worse than than having an ex give a gift that like you kind of have to stare up and like think about all over again when they

dedicate a song to you. Have you ever had somebody be like, this is our song and now whenever that song comes on the radio, you're like, oh, like I don't like you still, but it kind of takes you back nostalgic wise, and they can never listen to the song normal again. It's so true. I remember when I was in a on that note. When I was in college, there was that song that was I think it was by Ludicrous. It was my Chick Bad, My Chick It,

my Chick do stuff You chick wish you could. Horrible song, but remind every time, And it was like the most popular song at the time too, So every time I listened, every time I heard someone else playing, it reminded me of my ex girlfriend and I was like, this song is going to be the death of me. But uh yeah, with songs, I feel like time heals all wounds. Like yeah, there were songs that I listened to afterwards after breakups and I would think about the relationship and I get

sad or mad. But now I hear the song and I guess it does transport me back in time. But I just feel differently about it. I don't get sad, I get maybe more nostalgic. I'm like, oh wow, yeah, that's crazy, that was so long ago. Yeah, I think it just takes time. Like yeah, when the when you first break up with someone or months afterwards and you hear a song that you what was your song together, It's gonna suck. It's gonna suck to hear that damn song.

But I promised time heals all wounds. Anyways, we got Matt and Leo waiting to jump on the phone with us. Uh so for the record, just just to close this conversation, Kalen's birthdays coming up. If you want to hear how it went, if you want to, if you're interested in hearing how it goes, tune in next week for that episode when we record, because I can look back on it then, but we do it. Matt and Lea, who are wrestlers in the w w E who just recently

moved in together. They just recently made their relationship public as well. Um, they're going to tell us a little bit about what they've been working on and what they've been doing in quarantine and all those things, So stay tuned for that. We're gonna take one quick break and be right back. All right, welcome back to help I suck at dating. We have two very special guests who

are on the line with us right now. You know them from the w W D w W E. But they have a brand new podcast that is all about relationships. It is called Bear with Us. We have Leah van Dale and Matt Polinsky. How are you guys, Thanks for joining us, Thanks for having us. Yeah, this is great. I appreciate it. So why do you guys want to do a relationship podcast? Well, the genesis of it something we kind of we kind of joked about for a

long time, but it didn't really come to fruition until Quarantine. Um. Our real lives are are you know? Professional lives require us to be on the road constantly, So we traveled basically fifty two weeks a year. So we found ourselves with all of this extra free time and nothing productive to do with it, and just on a whim, one night, Leah looked at me and said we should do a morning show, just I think jokingly, yeah, And so we decided.

The next morning we jumped on Instagram Live and started just being ourselves, just chatting about whatever we did or didn't do that day, because like everyone in America, we were boarded tears. And as a few weeks passed, we started getting a lot of feedback from not only online from social media, but from actual friends, people we work with that we're watching this stuff and people we're asking questions and saying, hey, why don't you talk about this thing?

And it's just sort of snowballed, and next thing you know, we're here. I mean, if I can, if I can speak for Jared here, I gotta say that dating podcasts they're they're they're fun to produce, but sometimes they can create a little friction when when you don't want it to be there. For instance, like obviously we're not hosting with our significant other like you guys are, but there are times where my girlfriend will like bring something up that I talked about on a podcast, and I'm like,

I was just joking. I don't know it's gonna take me seriously, especially like the direct quotes that get pulled. But I don't know, Jared, what's your experience with it. I mean, it's so there's a podcast on I heard it's called Wine Down and hosted by Jennet Kramer and her husband Mike and Ashley and I did that one time,

and it was like therapy. It was truly like therapy for Ashley and I is that way you guys are kind of anticipating because I know you you just started, your first episode is out, but you'll be dropping new episodes every Thursday. Do you find that it might be therapeutic for you? I think it totally is. I mean there's certain things that we're talking about that we don't

actually talk about, like without the microphone. So like, for example, an episode that's shopping next week is all about like bodily functions for example, and like he hates like anything to do with like the bathroom or farting or like anything like that, and it's like we never talked about it. And then now we had this whole episode. We had like forty five minutes were just chatting about all these

things we've literally never spoken to each other about. So that was like definitely, I mean for me, it was fun. For him was uncomfortable, but it was hilarious. Dude, Matt, I hear you. I still when I have to go to the bathroom, I still tell my wife. I'm like, oh, I'm I'm just gonna use the restroom. I'm not that guy who can be like I know it all happens. We all do it, but you keep that information to yourself. I tell her I want to know everything about her

except that little category. Oh yeah, I still do the shower trick. I'm married. I've been married for eight months, and I still will go in the bathroom be like I'm gonna take a shower, put the shower on, and then you know, do my thing. We we had to get really creative because when we first started hanging out dating, we were on the road all the time, so we'd go out to eat or go out to dinner, and then you usually go back to a hotel room and you're in this close space and it's like, what do

you do. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the gym. It's like it's ten o'clock and I'm like, I know, I just need to get some cardio. That's pretty smart. It's better than smell the water, like Jarrett too. You know. Yeah. It has been kind of fun, though, even in the few that we've recorded, it's like being bought in a microphone gives you that sort of almost a safety net to be a little more open that we found with each other. Um, and it's we haven't had any like knockdown,

drag out arguments. They're definitely will we could. We could feel the tension rising. Yeah, I love it. I think I think it's a great idea. It's nice to be a little kind of aired out. And it's almost like, yeah, like Jared said, like a couple of therapy where even if you're not talking with the third person, the microphone itself is acting as like an impartial by standard the

conversation and you gotta like talk everything through. Uh. That kind of inspires me to get Kayalin on the podcast and see if we can chat with her at some point too. But I don't know for for me, for my relationship, we're very open about Well, it took a while, but I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go poop, I'll see you in twenty minutes or something like that, you know what I mean. Uh, And she she it took her some time to warm up to it, but she's starting

to like embrace the idea of it as well. Versus the whole happened to be like, Hey, I'm gonna go away for ten minutes. I'll see you a little bit. I mean, we all do it, so it's like what you can't hate on it if every single one of us does it. Um, So what is it like for you guys to be a in a relationship that is in the public eye? You know, that's the question that Dean and I get a lot, Like what's it like being married or dating someone and everybody is just watching

your Instagram or knowing what your life is about? And so what do you do you guys think it's beneficial? Especially for you guys started inject you not only are in the public eye together, but you also in a way work together. So does that kind of add a different perspective to it as well? We work together, we

lived together, we're in the same you know, business. And I feel like, especially nowadays with social media, everyone thinks they know everything about your relationship because you know, we put stuff out there on social media, but you don't put everything out there, and I think everyone just thinks like everyone has their own opinion. And I mean the way we kind of debut our relationship was not how

we wanted to. We kind of I mean, I don't even know how to get into it, but like he's divorced, so his ex decided to put our relationship out there for the world before we wanted to, and so we had to deal with that. It's been an uphill battle. From I heard about that. I heard that it was kind of like was it on the cover of the New York Post or something like that. Oh yeah, yeah, that's my grandmother. Yeah yeah, So the entire world thinks,

you know, that we exist under this false pretense. So it took a little while to uh to let that die down, and slowly but surely everything kind of came out like the truth of the entire situation. And so once that's happened, it's it's been smooth. However, as that was all happening, she was filming a reality show for e So all those like crazy moments of us trying to cope with it and deal with this and do

damage control was like in front of cameras. And also we just started dating, so it was like all of these things were working against us, right, what the hell, Like, how do we even like navigate these waters right now? But let me ask you, do you think it made you guys stronger in the long run to have to deal with the beginning, no doubt about it, and we kind of look at it like how much worse can

it possibly get? That we kind of went through everything so early on that like everything else to us like, oh who cares? You know? Right right? I think that's kind of good advice to that you guys can share with us on the podcast that you're hosting Bear with Us.

And then this one too, where it's like, uh, those moments of I guess adversity really because Kaylin and I had a similar experience to where there was a lot of issues I guess in the early stages, but now that we, you know, we're what twelve months removed essentially from them, we look back on them and laugh and realize that, yeah, like like you said that, things aren't really gonna get much worse from there, so I definitely

can be some some growing from it. Well there's that old statement, if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't describe at my best. Like we both got the worst of each other right out of the gate. So now it's like, wow, this is awesome. Yeah, I'm glad we hung around for all this yeah, we stuck it out. And so Matt, you mentioned the reality show obviously on the Total Diva's Huge show. So how do you guys, because a lot of our listeners say it's

very difficult to navigate relationship, work, friends. It's you know, it's just a lot. So you guys are obviously working for the w w E, you're on Total Divas, you have a podcast, you always traveling, You're doing all these things. How do you guys navigate it? Gosh? Sometimes I think like, how do we make it through this? Like I look

back even when we first started filming. We're filming, We're dealing with all that stuff with the New York Post and all the backlash, like literally getting death threats all the time. I was, um, you know, he has three kids. We're dealing with a long distance relationship. He was living in Connecticut, I was living in Florida. Were on the road fifty two weeks a year, four or five days a week. It's like, sometimes my mind is blown thinking

about the things, but you just like keep going. Especially, I don't know, I feel like what we have is so special and so real that I think it makes it somewhat easy, even though it's so difficult. Yeah, I think. I think the difficulties sort of lend themselves to now not we don't waste time and argue over minutia. You don't get lost in the in the usual day to day stuff that everybody goes through, because it's like, we have thirty thousand other things to worry about, so when

we're together, the time is usually pretty high quality. Then came quarantine, and we were like, oh, this is a real test. Never mind all the stuff we've been through, can we exist twenty four hours a day with each other with no other options. I can't go to the bar, she can't go to the mall. There's like nothing but us, and we made it so. So I guess that's a testament. Tell us how you guys have been getting through quarantine.

What have you guys been doing to stay busy and stay I guess not to ap each other's throats, because that's that's a big thing with couples especially, you know. Yeah, Well, we went from not seeing each other very often at all, Like I said, we're doing a long distance relationship. We just moved in together the end of December, so it was like very new and exciting and I was like, like,

this is so fun to like live together. And then all of a sudden, I was like, Okay, like I'm gonna go upstairs, leave me alone and give me like an hour to I like decomfess, I've seen enough of your face right now. Yeah, it's it was um. There was no real trick, I would say, like, we just kind of did it. Both of us for the most part. Have still had to go to work, not quite as frequently, but like every other week or so, so we've still had to travel a little bit. That's been a real

pain is traveling in during all these times. But the thing that I will say that I love the most about Quarantine is the fact that we can exist as like this old married couple and just be so happy together.

We wake up, we have coffee together, we go on by crimes, we make dinner together, we're watch our shows, and we watched Jeopardy and Will of Fortune every night and then by like you know, and it's like this new routine that we just kind of have together that I think I'll miss once Quarantine is completely over and basically just fast forward into the golden years of marriage. All things between stuff. We just skipped you're retired. You that's what it feels like. It's true though, I was.

Once I got past the accepting stage of everything that was happening, it was I mean, knock on wood, everybody staying healthy. It was really nice because you got to stay home and spend quality time and like this amount of quality time with your significant other one, your significant other, your family, Like, I don't know if that's ever going

to happen again. I agree, And I think it kind of allowed everybody to put things in perspective us as far as what's valuable to you in your life when when you don't have these options, these things just stress about or places to go, you kind of just simplify everything and it was sort of refreshing, be honest. Yeah, what's been your guys biggest like point of contention? So for Caitlin and me, the thing that I guess we argue quote unquote the most about is I played too

much call of duty. You know, I played a couple of hours and called duty. He hates that. Do you guys have like a thing that you kind of get at each other, like like pester each other about I would say that, like he doesn't do the dishes and that drives me nuts. I hate when the sink is full, and so every night I'm like, don't mind me, I'm just over here emptying the dishwasher again, wait till I'm watching the show that I'm really into. No, I got it.

That's very, very similar to how it is over here too. Like I said, I played Call of Duty, so I'll like started a new game of called Duty. And she'd be like, hey, can you can you help me take out the trash or do some dishes? And I'm like, well, I definitely can help you, but it's not the right time for me to come and help you. Rule yeah, get done when I you know, I have nothing else to do exactly. Um, I did want to ask a

couple of questions before you. Guys, we don't want to take up too much of your time, but Matt, you brought up the fact that you you had been married once before, and you're divorced and you have three kids, and so I guess for the listeners out there who are going through similar situations, who are divorced and getting back into the dating field, do you have any advice maybe how long it took you to kind of deal with that part of your life and feel confident enough

to move on. Uh. Well, I mean it's it's definitely been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my in my life, because I mean, you go from living a certain way and turning your entire life upside down, and relationships and you know, having to figure out make time now for my kids on certain you know, there's a million different variables in it. I would just say, hang on, it gets better. I was lucky enough, you know, the divorce was still it were still in the process

of the divorce, living separately. But you know, as anyone has been through divorce realizes that stuff doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. Took me a year and a half to get everything finalized. Um and then of course all the stuff we talked about with her out of the gate, and I luckily I was able to find a partner who was willing to accept all of my headaches and all the nonsense I brought to the table, because there

was plenty of it. I'm sure she would speak to it a lot better than I can, but yeah, just just hang on, man. And it wasn't like I was scared to death to just date again, because just the world so different. I got married like eleven years ago. I think the whole world and the dating seat people. I've never used a dating app. I don't know. I don't know that whole world at all. So I was

like sort of intimidated. And luckily I didn't have to use any of that because I got to see her at work and just kind of get it the old fashioned way. Yes, so tell us a little bit about that. Kind of, like you said earlier, the genesis of your as a relationship, but you just through working together, got to know each other a little bit more and decided to kind of start dating or how did it work? Yeah,

I mean we've known each other for years. But again, like obviously he was married, I was in a relationship and I was recently single, like woke up with my X a couple of years ago, and I was just kind of like doing my own thing, and like we just I don't know, I just started chatting and just just clicked. You know. It was like it was almost my accident thing. Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna ask her out. Yeah, just like, hey, the show's over, I'm

not doing anything. You don't let's let's grab a drink, and it just kind of slowly snowballed into just just two beautiful people getting a drink together, and it's turned into this beautiful relationship as far as as far as anyone outside knows. Yeah, yeah, I do have one question before you guys go, because I have to ask this because you guys are both part of the w w E. What is the rock in Vince McMahon like in real life. I've actually never met the Rock before. I've never met him.

Mr McMahon is a whole different story. I'll take I'll take the rock part of the question. The Rock to me is like seeing Santa Claus in real life. Oh god, he is just as he's ormous. He's huge, he's got muscles on top of muscles. His teeth are white as snow. He looks like he is in the movies. There's no like disconnect. I didn't know him in the days when he was wrestling. I've met him since. He comes back from time to time and it's like like watching a

superhero walk in the room and he gat. I've only spoken to him briefly. He's always been very, very friendly, made time for anyone that wanted it, um, But there's something about that guy when I first met him that went, I went, I get it. I understand why he's like the biggest star in the world right because there's just something about him. I'm actually coincidentally, I'm actually wearing my rock total coincidence. Guys that did not play in this

I promised you. But as far as Mr big Man goes, he's just like, it's so funny because you look at him and he just looks like he's like this businessman and he has his shipped together. It's just like businessman. But when you sit and talk to him, he's just like the nicest guy ever. And he's like so approachable and I've had so many conversations and I know you have two with him. He just like where you can talk to him. It was almost like your grandfather or something.

You know. He's just like very wise and tells you like it is. And I don't know, it's just like when you take the time and talk to him, he's just really he's extremely intimidating, but once you get past that facade and he gets to know you a little bit and trust you, he's one of the best guys to know he's one of them. Yeah, I mean, I've been a wrestling fan for quite some time, and he is just a fascinating human being. He absolutely is, and it as close to any of us, as close to

him as any of us ever really get. There's still like that little bit of extra, this mystery of what happens. He's got a mystique about him, you know, even at seventy four years old, something about him. It's just like he's truly larger than like he's already seventy four. Oh my god, I think so. Yeah. Right, he's in better shape than anyone's. Right, he would kick everybody's ass um. Yeah. Well, Leah and Matt, thank you so much for joining us.

We can't tell you how much we appreciate it. We can't tell how excited we are for your brand new podcast Bear with us. The first Step episode is already out, so you can go to wherever you get your podcast, go listen to it. Now. You're gonna have a new episode up every single Thursday. So can you guys just give us a little tease of what some of the listeners can't expect. Man, it's kind of like we want

the listeners to listen with their significant other. So it's like, if you have an issue or something that you might be having with your partner, you can listen to a podcast. Hopefully it'll break the ice and just kind of like we just go through the same stuff that every other couple does, but we just want to normalize it. You know. I don't think we're gonna solve anybody's problems, but we

might help start the conversation. The genesis of this whole idea came from she and I having a meeting with an entertainment executive several months back, and right out of the gate, he asked, what are the three most important things to the two of you about your relationship? And I said honesty. She said communication, and there was about a three second pause and we both simultaneously said sex. So we were like, okay, we're on the same page.

Everyone deals with those three things. You know, if we can help, awesome, if we can make you laugh even better, and uh, just don't blame us when things go wrong. Well, well, thank you again so much for joining us. Really appreciate it. Lee and Matt again. Check out their brand new podcast, Bear with Us. You can get it anywhere Podcasts are available. Thanks again, guys, Thank you appreciate welcome back to help by shuck it dating with Jaredine and Tory. I don't

want to talking like that. Matt and Lee were cool. Huh, they were super nice. I like them a lot, super nice, nicest people I've ever met. Uh well, yeah, I guess via Skype they might be the nicest people we've ever met. But make sure you again you check out their brand new podcast, Bear with Us. First episode is already out, but we're going to transition to another fun game that

Tori has set up for us. Isn't it funny that there were two guys and one girl in this podcast, and just like uh, like some sort of study group in college, it's the girl that's doing all the work. I know that's stereotyping, but like it's I feel I feel so bad port Tory, thank you, thank you for putting this this, uh this together for us. He first, bring the honesty, not poor Tori, because last time we played this game, there's articles being written about me about

how I had a crush on Andy Dorfman. So great publicity loved it. Listen, I'm not opposed to the publicity, but it just as a kind of frustrating thing to see sometimes, How did that go? I mean I told her exactly what happened on the podcast right after we were done airing it, and so if she saw anything about it, it was already known information. So that's good. That's the most important thing. Well, let's see if we can get somebody else that you had a crush on,

you know, get back on us weekly. Yeah, let's do it. Let's jump into it. This is our third and final teen party game, commonly known as ten Fingers or never have I ever? So I'm going to ask you boys questions and you have to answer yes or no. Never have I ever skinny dipped? Oh have? I don't think so. I don't think I have I have skinny dipped. Yes, I'm gonna lose this game so fast. I'm gonna lose

this game literally in ten questions. Should think about a bet placed for who puts their ten fingers down faster. I literally just said I'm gonna put down ten fingers and ten questions. That's true. But I have I have been Yeah, I've skinny dipped. If Jared and includes significant others, right like you can skinny do Yeah? Okay, great. You can also just do it by yourself if you're out camping in the middle of nowhere and you're like, this looks fringing. Never have I ever cheated, like I said,

ten for ten, Here we go, let's down. Jared is not down. Never have I ever gotten arrested. I mean, like Larry, we just tailoring questions to make me put fingers down. At this point, denis down. Jared is our angel. At nine fingers, I'm dominating. Never have I ever had a one night stand, like I mean, come on, yeah, Jared, I didn't. I thought you were going to keep one up on that one. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo. I gotta keep my finger up on that one. I know,

I'm just kidding. I'm down to five fingers already. Fingers down, Jared is at eight. Never have I ever had a body piercing, not including ear piercing. I have not done that. Surprisingly, I weirdly feel like Dean would have a nipple piercing? Am I the only one who feels like that's a thing. I mean, listen, I've thought about it a lot. I would do it. I think I've tried to getting my tongue pierced before when I was drunk, but I don't think I was able to find a piercer that was

willing to do it. I feel like Dean could have a Prince Albert. Prince Albert, that sounds pretty sweet, I feel Yeah, I feel like you'd be open to it if you were drunk. You know what it is? Is that on your little Weemi? It's on? It's on? Dean Jr. Yeah, First of all, that was the most awkward way of describing a penis to me. The next how do you what is the We'll get into this maybe after What are the correct terms to use? There's it's There's a lot of ways to explain the men genitalia. I wouldn't

baby talking. Let's start with that one, all right. Next question, Jared is currently at eight teen, is standing at five? Never? Have I ever had a threesome? Yeah? That we've had three some, that's awesome. Yes, I was in college. Okay, I was experimenting. Were you sober or intoxicated? I was so drunk so drunk? Does that even count? Was it overrated? Yes? I don't want to do all on this topic for too long, listening on to the next question. Never have

I ever used a sex toy not including vibrators? Uh, I've used No, I've never never done that so far. I'm not saying on myself, Wow, that's you can use one on yourself, but also saying no vibrators like using that on another person, it has to be something different. Look, I've mentioned that I've been pretty vocal about this in the past. I'm a vanilla person when it comes to the whole sex thing. When you're that good in bed,

you don't need anything else. That's with Dean saying I mean I didn't say it, but if Tori wants to go ahead and claim that for me, I'll take it. Never have I ever hooked up with someone from a dating app? Yeah? I mean, Dared is that six dinas at three? Never have I ever had sex in public? I mean, come on, Yeahed, was it a bathroom? Can I just know like the vicinity of it, because yeah, Dared, tell us about your public sex experience. Well, of course, when I came to mind, I put my finger down.

It was I don't know how public. I don't know if this counts. It was at it was possibly at somebody else's house in abasement with people upstairs. Does that count? No, I would say no. Hold on, let me think then, let me think, angel Baby, put your finger back up. That doesn't count, angel Baby. Your widdle we we hasn't been out in public before. I'll put my finger up for right now, I can't think of anything. I mean, yeah, I've done it, and like a park up in the mountains.

Hold on, we're counting parks, yeahs, beaches like beaches count? All right? Um, are you guys mile high members? Actually no, I'm not interesting with how much you guys fly. It doesn't sound that appealing. Yeah, just this The logistics of it seemed challenging, Like you're one supposed to go to the bathroom and then five minutes later the next one's supposed to come in. Do you leave together? Maybe if you like fly first class on Qatar where you have

like your own little apartment room, probably worth it. But but yeah, untill now now, um, so let's hold up our fingers. Dean, you were at to Jared is at five. Never have I ever hooked up with a quote unquote fan also known as Instagram follower, also known as just the fan of the Bachelor. Ah, this is a gosh, this is a gray area. Just put one down, Jared just put his other one down. We are It's like, uh, well,

I it's just a hook up. So it could be it could be underneath whatever you mean under that term too. But how did this come about? Because did somebody's side in your d M s? I partially want to know if I know somebody who's kind of like a cool kid, how do I how do I get your attention? I mean when I was single, Uh, sometimes I would check the d M s and if I thought a girl was pretty, I would sometimes respond to them. Yeah, I don't know exactly what it was that I would catch

my eye initially. But but I'm not I'm not saying I'm not a superhuman. Okay, I'm not immune to those types of things. Yeah, I don't find anything wrong with it. Wasting you know. Yeah, so Jared was your dance as well. Yeah, but you know, no, what does that mean? What does that mean? We don't know. I mean we just talked about it, Dean. Dean articulated it perfectly. You know. Sometimes you just you know, you have a conversation online. Sometimes

it leads to things, sometimes it doesn't. I think that this is very similar to the question I have I hooked up with someone from a dating app, because, as we've talked about in to Naja on this podcast, this Instagram is in and of itself a kind of a dating app. You know, I completely agree with you very similar experience dating app in in social media. Before we ask these next couple of questions, Tory may I interject. No, Okay, put your finger down. You know what you're gonna say.

Put your finger down. If you have been to a Patriots game in New in New England at home, now, put your finger down. And if you have eaten dunkin Donuts more than twice in your lifetime, it's I've You've never had dunk on Donuts twice? Steen, No, put your finger down. I'm just trying to even it out a little bit. Yes, but I'm trying to my turn. Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar? I can't. Yeah, I've been kicked out of bars, plenty of bars. What

if your friend got kicked out and you left with them? No, No, it's such a little angel. I don't think. I don't think I've personally ever been kicked off. I was such a head in college. I got kicked out of a bar like every weekend. I feel like and I like it. At the time, I didn't think I deserved it either. I was just I was a mess. I was a whole another person when I was nineteen years old, So I got kicked out of many many bars. Okay, one more, just for fun. Never have I ever given a fake

phone number out. I've definitely done that too, but I'm not very good at that. So what I would start doing two people is if I was out at the bar and they asked for my phone number or something, I didn't want to give it to them. I would just be like, hey, just find me on Instagram and send me a message on Instagram because that way, it's like, you know, it goes to a separate folder. You can only approve it if you want to approve it. So that's what I would do. That's a good tip. Actually,

I like that. Yeah. I mean there were times when people would like get angry at me for doing that because they thought that it was dishonest because obviously they knew that I wasn't gonna respond. But whatever it is, what it is, I mean, it's better than it would It would be better than rejecting them in their face in that moment, like no, don't reach out, don't even try. I would love to pick your guys brain on a question to follow up on this, but I just want

to conclude on the scoring. Dean is completely out of the game. He's actually negative one with the fake number. Jared is left with technically four, but because of Dean's questions, he's at one because of the Patriots game and whatever. So still I enjoyed those questions, though, so do we have time to answer some emals? We do, But I have one follow up question for the ladies out there

and want you guys are just saying. You said that it's a good technique to ask for Instagram instead of a number, or if somebody asks you your number, you get them their Instagram handle and you said d m them. Here's an experience I had on a dating app. I was using my friends and it's remember how I told you guys that I was setting crap on dates. A lot of the men goes from the dating app to Instagram d m NG. Why don't guys just say hey, like,

do you guys understand the thought process? Why wouldn't they go from the dating app, which is pretty much Instagram to a phone number versus doing dating app to Instagram to maybe eventually a phone number. Ask, I have no idea. That sounds really weird to me. You would upgrade from a from a dating app to Instagram instead of a dating app to a phone number. Yeah, they'd be like, hey, what's your Instagram handle? And then like d m you?

Maybe Instagram more than the app. Yeah, maybe they just wanted to see more pictures and then so they just started d m ing you on Instagram and staid, what makes sense? I guess. I mean that's my only logical conclusion to that one, because it would make no sense. Yeah. I think that's like the next sequential step in dating apps, as you talk in the dating app, uh, instead of going straight to getting the phone number, Yeah, bridget with getting social media and talking on there. I think that's

perfectly reasonable. Of course you do. Let's do an an email. Do you want to read it? Yeah? I would love to read it. I've been practicing my reading, so no better time to showcase it than right now. We have an email from a young woman named maybe Lene. She's say maybe she was born with it. She says Antoninier, and I've been single for a while. Recently I started talking to this guy and bumbling. We seem to connect

and bonded over our dogs. We schedual date, but the following day, after asking for my I g handle funny enough, he deleted me from the bumble chat and also blocked me on Instagram. I honestly don't know what I did wrong. Why he would even go through the length of blocking me. Simply saying I don't want to meet should have been fine. The guy st he's six and he should be mature enough. What happened? I feel like we've answered this one before. If not, we've answered a very similar one before. It

probably happens a lot. Yeah, what do you guys think? I mean, did he just start dating someone and he didn't know how to tell her that, or was he like maybe he rekindled things with his ex and so he just like blocked everybody he was talking to on these dating apps in a day. Though, I don't know that's a little sussed. I just think this guy kind of sucks. He definitely maybe he's hooked up with like one of her friends and then figured out they have

like some weird connection. And then was like, oh crap. I mean he figured out something. He's either dating someone got back together with his ex, or yeah, like Tori said, like somehow put the dots together to figure out he he knew who maybe Lean was, and maybe maybe Lean knows who he was, and so instead of confronting Night, he just blocked her. Yeah. I mean, no matter what, he should be mature enough to say, hey, I'm actually

you know, going off this app I guess. But actually he doesn't really owe her anything if you think about it, because they've only really been like hey, talking for a bit, and then they scheduled a date, didn't even go on the date, so he can technically leave and not have to be a big deal. That's true. I don't know. I just still think it's it's a shitty thing to do. It's like, where is the courtesy nowadays? You know what I mean? This stuff wouldn't fly back in the in

the rarer and ror in twenties. What was it? So why are we letting it fly now? Um? I just think that she should. I mean, it sucks because it's like, obviously she's upset about it, but at the same time, it's like you shouldn't really lose any sleep over it, because yeah, who cares, it's only one guy totally, maybe, Illian, there's tons of guy in dating apps, and plus, from the sound of it, you had you guys had not met yet, So don't loose sleep over. Like Dean said,

you'll be fine. True. It's better than going to the dog park meeting, having a great conversation, getting the dogs all introduced to each other, and then having happened. So might as well just get it over with early. The guy's thirty six too, Yeah, you would think that he he would have been more mature weird anyway, So this email is for Madison, she writes, as a longtime listener of the podcast I heard I have her Dean changing

in the way he views and acts in relationships. He claims to have a problem saying I love you in other words of affirmation, So do I, but says it all the time to friends. Why is it harder to say to someone you are in a relationship with that you love them? Also? He said Frina Dean, I love you to Leslie on the World Tell All. After only dating for a few months, but after dating Calin for about the same amount of time, he said on Nick's

podcast that he did not love her. It seems like the only person Dean has trouble saying that he loves is to Caitlin. Is this a red flag? If you have not fallen in love in a certain amount of time, should you end the relationship? Dean? I'm sorry I didn't read the email beforehand, so maybe that's why you want to end the podcast. Uh, this is a great conversation topic. Yeah, I didn't know what I'm ting to you. Yeah, so it's all you do. Do you think it's a red flag?

What do you think? I don't think it's a red flag. I don't I don't think i've noticed this. Do you think this is a fair assessment? Um? Yeah, I mean I don't think there's really any fallacies present in the in the statement or the email, so I can't say that it's wrong. I'd actually think it's an opposite of a red flag, because it seems like you can you're able to say I love you two people. Maybe you're not as in love with as you. I don't know, maybe not. No, I see where you're coming from. That

makes sense. I think there's a send favalidity to that that you were getting to So maybe you were scared. Maybe you were scared of your feelings towards Kalin and you were afraid to admit it because you loved her so much and it was scaring the daddy. That's what I'd like to think. Just beautiful, truly, truly beautiful. Um, Yeah, I don't know. I think I just got a complicated

relationship with that word. I've I've I think I associate that word with like toxicity and unpleasantness, just through my childhood relationships in high school, college and thereafter, and so I just think I've got like kind of a negative association with it. And so it's, uh, you know, I can say it's my friends pretty easily because I do love them, but I think when it comes to my partner, it's a little bit more challenging just because of the

experiences that I've had with it. And yeah, we'd let's talk about the Leslie thing for a minute. Yeah, I said it to her at the World to Tell All a few days after she had told it to me for the first time. And I think in that case not to like reopen old wounds or anything like that, but I think I was saying it to maybe try

to convince myself that that's how I felt. And I thought that by saying I would be able to get myself there emotionally, but in reality to be the way around, obviously you should emotionally be there and then you should express it verbally. Uh. And that was, in my opinion, that's how I think that whole situation unfolded. Uh. This

current one is a little bit different. I'm just being a little bit more conscientious of conscientious of uh the verbiage that I'm using, and being confident in the way that I feel before I do anything like that. So I think, just as I'm getting older, I'm I'm not being as uh what's the word that I'm looking for. I'm not being as what's the word where you just act impulsive, I'm not being as impulsive as as I get older, I'm being less and less impulsive, or at

least trying to consciously be less and less impulsive. I think that's a great thing. You think before you say things. That's a good quality to have sometimes. I I agree with that the email as well. It's for some reason difficult to tell the people that you care most about that you love them. I don't know. Sometimes I find that is. I also think it depends on the relationship.

As I've gotten older, Um, Like with my with my parents, for some reason, I have a difficult like not a difficult time, but like an awkward time telling them that I love them. And I think that's just kind of like the relationship that I have with them. It's not it's it's a wonderful relationship and I love them more than anything and I'm beyond lucky. But it was just, uh, I think, like, you know, coming from a you know, a family, a dad who's like a little bit more reserved,

kind of old school. Um, I think for a while, it kind of took me a time to be like I love you, you know. I felt like Will Ferrell and Elf, you know, like I love you, I love you, I love you. There's a lot of shooth that though.

Even um So, when I got my skydiving license last beginning of last year, whenever I got out, I remember I had the day the day before I started jumping solo, I sent like this big long email to my brothers uh, and I was like basically like just bearing my soul, like this is how I felt when I was a child and how you did all these things when I was growing up and I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and blah blah blah. Send it to them via email at like midnight the

day before. Uh. And it's been a year and a half, maybe two years since I sent that email. I haven't just got sit with them at all since, like, like you know, I like I made it clear how I feel about them and how I appreciate them and respect them on all these things, and we haven't even addressed it as as as have ever happening. So I think that's just kind of how guys are sometimes, you know. It's like we can have our moments where we want to share our feelings and then uh, we just don't

really ever really talk about it again. We just yeah, we forget it ever happened. It's like all right, cool, thanks anyway, let's move on to the next thing. Let's talk sports. Yeah, so I don't know, guys are weird anyways. Uh, thank you to our emailers, maybe Leene, and big thank you to Madison as well for asking that question. I hope that helped clear some things up for you. I

still am uncertain with a lot of things myself. But of course, big thank you to Matt and Leah for calling in and sharing a little bit more about their relationship. If you want to hear more, uh, be sure to check out their brand new podcast called Bear with Us. You can find it wherever you're listening to this podcast. I'm sure you can just search over and find it there as well. Um. Big thank you to Kalen for celebrating her birthday with me this year. It's a good one.

Hopefully she hopefully she appreciates your gifts that I got her. What else shared? What else do you want to what else you want to be thankful for? Shout out to Ashley, you know, for being my wife. That's always a cool thing. Uh. And so shout out to Tori uh for being the backbone of this podcast. And shout out to all the listeners because without you guys, there would be no podcast. And uh, we love doing this and so we appreciate every single one of you guys. So thank you. Keep

sending in emails, keep following us, keep demning us. Um, we'd love to keep the conversation going. Heck, yeah, I love you all. Big thank you to everyone. Be sure to tune in next week, where maybe we will suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast