My Cup Runneth Over

We've got a great episode coming up for you guys. We have uh sunny crap. Now you have me Sonny saying sunny. She goes by Sunny for short, you guys, it's not sunshine. Shan is gonna be joining us in studio. We're gonna talk about Jared, who just made a trip down to Mexico to celebrate one of the best things on this planet, which we call love. And we're going to just kind of get an update on where everything else is at and maybe the answer some emails. I'm pumped.

It's gonna be a great episode, and let's start with Jared. Jared, so you just came back you're looking very tann And actually, I know you mentioned that I made sure I laid

out in that son. Well. Yeah. So it was announced that christ and Chris still from Bachelor in Paradise, who got engaged last year, got married in Paradise this year, and Ashley and I were very lucky to make the trip down there and witness, uh would witness their marriage, witness their nobody's paying attention to me, and witness their their matrimony, their matrimony. Thank you, that's the word I'm looking for. Look beautiful. She did look beautiful. The picture

came out on People magazine. His talks was awesome. I was actually looking at his tucks and then I turned to Ashlyn and I said, that's exactly how I want to look at our wedding because it was so form fitting. Here's the thing about that, though, is maybe his form is just a better look than yours. I choose not to believe that. Dean. Wait, are you keeping are you key be in your suit my talks? Yeah, oh yeah, so I'm keeping it. So it's yeah, you can get formed.

Oh yeah, so I'll be formfitted. And then his was as well, and Crystal looked beautiful and it was a really nice ceremony. Obviously, I can't really give too many details away because it will be airing later this this summer on Bachelor in Paradise when it exactly airs, I don't know, but you spill any deeds about Bachelor in

Paradise that you can share. Um, all I can say is, actually, to be fair, I don't even know what the hell I'm the love, But what I feel like i'm okay to say is that I did see maybe some people that are down in Paradise forming or not forming some relationships, really know how to sit on offense, don't you? So? I we we may have seen some people. You saw fireworks, and I'm not talking about the ones in the sky.

We could have seen some fireworks or people who are currently experiencing fireworks, and then maybe some people who are

unfortunately not experiencing fireworks. Right now, that that's not a teaser that encourage you to watch Bachelor in Paradise, I don't know what is, because they should really hiring me, hiring me as their marketing manager at this point, I'm sure you're in a weird spot because, like you want to obviously be able to talk about it, but you can because it's gonna be airing on TV in three months exactly. So, but it was announced that we were at the wedding, so we I can say, hey, I

was there to witness it. They got married. It was a really nice ceremony. It was a lot of fun um. So that's not the only news coming out of the Bachelor world, the fact that Chris and Crystal got married down in Paradise. But they released some of the cast. Did you guys see this? This cast, I think is the probably the best looking cast. Why do you say that they're all so beautiful? I know that's Dean and I were on Paradise. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm just saying

the women are. I will say, looking at this cast list, the women drastically outperformed them out. Well all right, well, well let's talk about the men first. Let's do that. So the first man that I see is Blake Hortsman, who we knew that came you love Blake? Yeah? Okay, Uh, what else we got, Chris? Are your friends with Chris Bukowski? Well Bukowski was on We'll hold let's talk about Blake first. So Blake was on number two on becka season. He was a big name coming in. Everybody expected him to

be in Paradise. He is in Paradise. Blake was on the show, was off the show for a full year, and then came back to Paradise. He lived a lot in that year, And yeah, you know, especially you're coming off the show, you kind of get the celebrity status, especially some of them like Blake, whose second you know, I'm sure picking up women is a lot easier obviously, right, you know, so maybe that cross some issues going into Paradise. Who knows, really, who knows what could come, but it

should be very interesting. But I've hung out with Blake. I like Blake as a person. Um, so we'll see. Who knows, you know, a lot of people are shipping Blake and Hannah ge super hot in her cast photo. Yeah there's hand and g in her red bathing suit by the pool. It looks like she's been a swimsuit model for five years at least since eighteen apparent, I mean with the most age appropriate John Paul Jones looked like siblings show was there. She do look like siblings,

brother and sister. Maybe that will be a nice bachelor in Paradise. Twist John Paul Jones. Vanessa, Let's let's play this exercise, Vanessa, Let's say you didn't have an amazing boyfriend. Which of these guys, just based off their cast photo, would you be most interested in? Oh god, okay, So there's once you look through it and then I'm just going to quickly announce it was so blake for the guys. It's blake. Uh. Cam also from uh from Handed season.

Excuse me, Cam was the one who quote unquote trying to get the pitty Rose, which I think was I actually don't agree with that pitty rose thing. That not not from his end, but he never said pitty rose. Anyway, long story Chris Pokowski, who's kind of a veteran. Do you guys know who Chris Pokowski is not? Who's that? So? Chris Pokowski was originally on Emily Maynard season, and then he tried to get on Andy Dorfman season but she did not allow him on. Then he was on two

seasons or excuse me, he was on Bachelor Pad. Then he was on Bachelor Paradise the guy I was gonna that's the guy I was gonna pick. Oh yeah, and then he was on my season of Bachelor in Paradise season two, and that was his fifth fifth season, I believe. So when my first season in Paradise, he was known as like the veteran and he came in, came in for one night, got really drunk, and left. And then

on TV he announced his retirement from reality TV. They had like this whole ceremony and they like raised his jersey to the banner and I forgot his jersey was like a you know, a Paradise button down, so they raised it up in the rafters. He was retired, and then and then the cast got announced in boom, Chris Pokowski back. He's got some piercing eyeball. He looks cute. He's a good looking man. He was. He was fourth on Emily season. We also have differ an actor. Yeah,

an actor. I can see that, like kind of I'm not gonna get it. Anyways, Derek Derek's on here too, So Derek Peth. We all know Derek. Probably he was on Joseusons cast vote as well. Yeah, really laws some weight maybe. Well. Derek is known because he was engaged to Vanessa's good friend Taylor. How do you feel about Derek being down there, Vanessa, I just, um, I guess I didn't picture Derek as someone who would go back into the franchise. Why do you say that because he

had a bad experience the first time around? He did He don't feel like he had a bad experience. Well, it just sounds like, I mean, he obviously got engaged and the engagement didn't work out. Yeah, but that's okay. I guess when I when I had met him with Taylor, I felt like he was just not you know, it was like cool with not being part of the franchise anymore, or just didn't you know, I wanted to go back

to work and like do his own thing. So yeah, so you're surprised to see him there because it seemed like he wanted to disassociate. Yeah, I don't know if it was disassociated, but I just felt like he was happy with, you know, having being a part of it. And then I guess, I'm I'm surprised that he's back on. But I mean, listen, for me, there's no hard feelings because he did nothing to me, so I don't want anyway. Yeah, did he do anything He did you do anything to

your friend? Yeah, that's a good question. No, it's not my story. Can we have Taylor on the podcast? Maybe we did have Taylor on the podcast. I know that, but this was before obviously her fiance was announced on

this season of Paradise. Do you think if how about this an open an open invitation, if Tyler wants to come in the podcast and talk about she's about the welcome to Oh yeah, of course, if she's open and willing to talk about you know, but I think she's so over is she's like in a happy relationship, and I think she also wants to disassociate her, disassociate herself from from franchise. Well that's very fair, Okay, So next up we have Clay Harbor. Clay was the football player

on Beckett season who left. He like heard himself. Do you guys remember this brooke his wrist? Yeah, and then he had to leave. Now he's also pretty known because him and Angela had an off camera relationship as like a mini bachelor. That sounds so obnoxious. I can't believe I almost just said that as like a bachelor couple. Almost said mini bachelor couple, which is I want to slap myself because the words almost a camera out of my mouth. Um, but like a bachelor couple offcame. Yeah,

he's like stroking the mic. I don't know what he's doing. Why were you stroking your what's up with up on Dean Day. I'm just hanging out. We were just doing something. I don't know what's going on over here. So that. Um So, he had an off camera relationship with Angela that ended up obviously not working out, which is why he's back in Paradise. We have John Paul Jones, my favorite. I'm a big JPJ guy. He seems funny. He seems

really funny. I loved his intro when he came out and he said, Hi, my name is John Paul Jones. My friend called me John Paul Jones, so you can call me John Pone Jones. I'll see you inside. You're not gonna forget, no, not at all. Um So, I'm excited to see what he's going to be like in Paradise. I feel like he's going to be a fan favorite. We have Kevin forton Berry, who I don't know much about. He's on hand of season this year. He's lucky he's there because he could definitely use a tan based off

this photo. Very pale, poor guy he is. He's just he's listening, you know. The son is just reflecting right off, and I think a little bit. And then well, Wills was on their Wills. I know, I'm really excited that Wills is back on their Wills. Was on Becca Becca K season and then he was on Paradise last year, but he was only there around like a week or so, I think. Um, so I'm really hoping Wills hits it

off with somebody. We're all rooting for him here, all right, So Vanessa, remove the boyfriend from the equation, just based off of the pictures alone, who do you think would you be most interested in, at least talking to you down there? Well, I had said Chris Bosh. Yeah, he's cute in his picture. I probably go for him too, because he looks older. Um yeah, And I had no idea who he was, so I was intriguing. Now and he's a good he's I've met him a couple of times.

I really like Chris. I think he's a good dude. Seems yeah. Maybe, I mean I'd let him her own mista's yeah, why not. Now for the women, the first one announces Analyse Puccini I've never seen last name written out before. This is the first for that. No. So, Analyse was on our season, she was on Paradise last year and now she's back for another round. I really like Analyse. I'm rooting. She's very sweet. She just desperately wants to be in a relationship. This is her third

go at it. I believe third go at it. Yeah, I think so. She's a beautiful woman. She has great in her picture, she's a beautiful woman in person. I'm really rooting for Analyse. Then we have Bibiana, who I

don't really know, but actually yeah, oh yeah, you know. Oh, she's like she's just so cool and um, she's confident and she just has like such great energy about her, which which is why I'm so confused why she's single and why she's back on because I mean, if I were a guy, she had a boyfriend for a hot minute, she didn't have a boyfriend. I don't know what happened with that, but she is just I mean, my god, she's studying Dean. Wouldn't you date her? No? I would not.

You wouldn't No. I can't be I can't. I honestly can't sit here and say I'm a baby fan because of my boy Peter. Oh, I forgot about that. Sides to a stories, you only heard one. No, you're absolutely right. I agree with everything with with that statement. She's a beautiful girl. She maybe is one of them, if not the most attractive girl to come out of the franchise. Say for Vanessa, but obviously you know one of my really good friends, and Peter and her had the thing.

It didn't really go so well. And so, like Vanessa said, I've only heard Peter side of things, and because of that, even if things went well between them, I wouldn't be interested, because you know, it's bro code. Yeah, that makes sense. Bibion is definitely a fan favor. I'm surprised she didn't stick around in Paradise last year longer. I remember thinking she left way too early, So I'm hoping she sticks around for a while here. Then we have Allen Miller

keys uh Now. Kalin is On was on Colton season. She was fourth or fifth after hometowns um and she was a fan favorite, little controversial because it was like the beauty queen fight between her and Hannah b who obviously ultimately became the Bachelorrette um So I'm excited to discover more about Klin because I feel like she kind of got a little bit of a bad rap um. I don't think she came off the best on the Bachelor, So I'm excited to see more of her in Paradise

and see what she's like. And then, yeah, she seems cool. And then Demi Demi obviously a fan favorite. Demi Burnett. Uh, she was on Colton season ironic. Their last name is Burnett Burnett because she's a blonde. She's like a platinum white blonde. Well it's not Brunette's Burnett, but close enough, I guess. Uh, So Demi was a fan favorite. Obviously, she's probably gonna stir up some crazy is down in Paradise. You don't know who's really going to stir up some

craziness in Paradise. Is the next one on the list, Hannah Geyah. Every guy who goes down there is going to be all over her, all over handag. She's going to be the number one for every guy. Right, you

can already see it. I mean, yeah, I think every guy that goes down there, especially like the later rivals with date cards, because you know, she's obviously gonna get coupled up with pretty quickly, you would imagine, because guys are gonna be pining for her, she's gonna get She's gonna have to like juggle a couple of people at

first until she really settles on who she wants. And then yeah, so like the guys that are coming down with date cards are probably gonna askr it''s gonna be awkward, intense. She seems like a sweet girl. I bet she She's gonna be in spots where she wants to say no but kind of says yes because she's just too kind, and hopefully that helps her, Like, hopefully that doesn't put her into trouble. You know, I don't think it will.

I think she's gonna be really popular and then hopefully, yeah, hopefully. Now I know a lot of people are shipping her and Blake, so I guess we'll see how that all hands out on Paradise. Everybody's expecting them to be a big couple down there. Then we have Jane a favor book. Favor book. Yeah, I'm not gonna be gonna try that one. It's a difficult one. Um, she's from Colton season I'm gonna sound like a jerk here. I don't remember her

from Australia or something. I agree. When I first saw a picture, I thought, oh, yeah, they're bringing in somebody from a different Bachelor for you, kind of like what they did with Winter Games. And we were wrong. She was on Colton season season to make a very lasting impression, so hopefully. But there's a lot of night wonders. I mean, look at the grocery Storge Joe. You know, I don't know if the growth the night wander, but no, you know,

grocer stor Joe gone. Night one came into Paradise obviously huge name. I remember Vinny dj uh from Jojo season, Vinceane it wasn't really that well known from his season of the Bachelorette and then became pretty much like a fan favorite on Paradise. And honestly Wells too. Wells wasn't really that well known on I mean he he didn't really gain a lot of popularity until he went to Paradise.

Because if you guys remember Wells on JoJo's season, he was the awkward guy who didn't know how to kiss Jojo. He like he was on Now I know I'm looking at him now, you know, sex symbol that guy. Um. And then we have Katie Moore and who was on Colton season. And Katie's notoriously known because apparently Kaylin and Cassie said something on the season that Katie overheard, and then it was all this drama. Do you remember that

at all? We're no. It was like apparently like Caitlin and Cassie were saying they wanted to be yeah, they want to be bachelor. At Katie heard it. There was all this drama. Katie is a beautiful girl, one of the more most beautiful eyes you'll ever see striking, So she's gonna be very popular down there. Then we have Nicole Lopez Alvar. She cried a lot on Colton season. I remember that. Yes, she's really pretty. It looks like,

judging by this picture that I see pretty girl from Miami. Um. Yeah, she was like she cried a lot on Colden season. He looks like she'd be from Miami. You know, she looks she's at the look Miami yummy yammi um will Smith come on? Uh? So then we also have on Yeka. Now on Yeka is known because actually her Nicole had a field on Colton season. I remember just there was like a big argument. They were fighting. So I'm sure those two would be fighting within the Paradise uh Sands

this summer. We also have Sydney. I'm not even gonna attend her last name. I'm so bad with names. Twaco, look Twaco, maybe something like that. I think something like Sidney L Dude, I'm so bad at pronouncing names. It's pathetic when we have Sydney from Cold season that we have Tasha, who's third on Colton season. She's gonna be a popular one. There's beautiful girl. She's so well composed and she's so well spoken. Yes she is. I thought

the same thing on Colton season. And then Will's like we talked about earlier, well that the cast, so same exercise. Vanessa chose Chris just based off the cast photos. Who would you be most interested in if you were not with Ashley? Who I be most interested in? That's a great question. Um, probably Tame too. You'd say Katie. I think I think Katie. Yeah, Katie's a beautiful girl, so yeah, I'll say Katie. What about you? Who would you say?

I mean, like I said, if I didn't know anything about any of them and there was no bias whatsoever. It'd be Biby. It'd be Bibby. Yeah, look AT's stunning. Literally got done saying safer Vanessa. She might be one of the moose beautiful girls in the franchise. So what happens? Like you would what if Peter heard this podcast and was like, hey, bro, don't worry about it, go for go for Bibby. I think that he would have no

issue if I pursued Bibbie. I don't think that that's something that I would feel comfortable doing, though, knowing that they have a history a and it's just like, is the history that intense? Is it that much of a history? Or is it the fact that they were like news articles and stuff written about the two of them? I think kind of, you know, it wasn't necessarily their fault for creating the history. Well, but the public side of it totally changes the fact. I agree with you there.

I guess the exercise there was just for the cast volts alone. Like you know, Bybye obviously is a beautiful girl. That's that's where that would come from. But um, yeah, I mean it'll be it'll be in paradise. If I were a guy, I would pick Bibby and um and Tasia mm hmm, yeah, yeah, I mean can't wrong with any of them. I mean they're all beautiful and beautiful. It's such a good cast. Everyone is so good looking. Yeah, so that should create a lot of drama down there.

So I think we're all very excited to watch Bachelor in Paradise this summer. It's really it might be one of my favorite shows. I'm not even gonna lie. I know I'm biased we were on the show, but in terms of the entertainment value, it's really I guess that's because you also know what goes on behind scenes and how lax it is compared to Bachelor and Bachelorette. Yeah, it's just a lot. I just like it because there's

always people coming, there's always always people going. There's there's flip flops, and then there's people you know in a relationship and then you know, girl walks down and the guys like, well, I'm going I'm gonna ask her on a day and take a chance, and then it's just it's a little bit more self deprecating too, and a

lot funnier. I like that aspect of it that they don't take it as seriously because I think, listen that the concept of going on a TV show and trying to meet the love of your life is very weird in general. So I like how Paradise kind of accepts that and owns it, leans into it, leans into it, and it makes such a compelling TV show for me that I I look forward to this time of year

every year. And I also gotta admit I really like the casting of Bokowski and Derek Path because I like I like that they're throwing some old school guys in there, because it makes it a little bit more fun, because I get it. I want to see the young cast who just came off a hand of season in Colton season on there because they're popular and I want to

see them get a second chance of love. But I also kind of like seeing, you know, guys and girls that come from previous seasons who you haven't seen in a while, and you're like, oh, like Bakowski, it's like, holy crap, yeah that was four years ago he was on Paradise. It's kind of like, I don't know, it makes it feel weird that they're on season six and you were on season two, seasons two and three. Is it weird that they're already season six and you started

on two. Yeah, it's weird. Actually, and I were talking about this. This was our fifth straight year uh taking a trip down to Paradise, which was insane. This year, Yeah, this year we went down to Port de Viotra and we saw christ and Crystal get married. Last year we went down there got engaged. Year before that we went down there, Vanessa. You were there as well, Carly and Evans wedding, and then the year before that was Bachelor in Paradise season three, and then the year before that

was Bachelor Paradise season two. Oh my god. It every year was a different relationship. Yeah, so five years in a row. It's pretty insane how impactful that place has been for us every year. I mean, we're super grateful for it. We just feel really lucky that they keep asking us back sometimes. I was actually thinking about this yesterday. I feel like we kind of hit the lottery in a weird way, you know, absolutely, and then it's like going back on the show, it's kind of like you're

just replaying the same numbers and just winning a smaller amount. Yeah, no, we did with a lottery, like are the time all three of us came into the Bachelor franchise, it was just I feel like people were they still are, They're engaged, people are interested. The popularity of the show only continues to grow. And I think also, let's be honest, Instagram kind of changed the game for everybody within this show and we came into a time where I think we're both all of us kind of trying to just figure

out what the hell Instagram was. And if you think about it, the lucky the Bachelorette is the reason that I be able to live in a van. Yeah, and I'm great, Well Bachelor I and Bachelor in Paradise, well yeah, but I'm just saying Bachelotte was the reason I did Bachelor in Paradise, which is reason ID Winter Games, which that then allowed me to have the ability to move into a van. Totally have this podcast. Thanks Bachelortte for

having this podcast. It really is like I I mean, it's not like I don't think, you know, they're perfect, But by no means am I ever not grateful for the franchise and everything they've done for us. Sometimes sometimes I get upset, like when I do those interviews, you know, like totally when relationships are fick I think. I yeah, it's easy to get bad news and be like, oh this sucks, but then like, if you really sit down and reflect on it, we can't be anything but grateful.

So totally, they've given us a lot, including this this podcast. Um, but uh, well, I think we've also done a pretty good job. We've we we've all worked hard as well, so let's give ourselves a little credit there. Um, but I'm super excited. So Bachelor in Paradise, this log is pretty exciting. I'm sure more cast members will be announced as we get closer, uh to airtime, but we have a pretty awesome podcast. We have a show coming up with Sunny Shin Sunshine. Sunshine, she goes by Sunny you guys,

her and Graham handle is literally sunny. That's fair. Actually anyways, we are going to have her on next but before that, we are going to take one quick break. We have a special guest in studio joining us. Sitting right next to me. Actually it is Sunshine Shin Sunshine, thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it. So, Sunshine, you are known for being a playmate. Yes, I was published two teen in May and that was okay. Got you,

miss may Well. Congratulations on that, Vanessa, you were Miss April, right, I think so like more padded bras for that, I'll stop that. I don't know. You posted a pretty racy Instagram yesterday that I look it was not looked. She looked azing. Even Ashley allowed me to say, all right, Vanessa looks really good in that picture. Actually signed off on it. Guys. Sometimes, but you've been doing this for a while, right with with Playboy, you know what. Um,

I started with botty painting. UM. I was have spotty painted lady, I think in two thousand fifteen until the last Mindsummer's Pretty um, which he I believe he died a few months later. So UM. Yeah, you know, I definitely had the opportun medea of experience experience seeing some pretty cool parties and events. I've always been curious, what is it like dating for you? Dating? Um or do you have a boyfriend or anything? No, you know what, It's funny because after UM, I feel like I kind

of went through a spiritual awakening UM. And now I feel like I'm at the place where I'm kind of all about self love and self fulfillment. UM. And it may sound a little selfish in a way. UM, but I feel like my cup is like overflowing and right now I'm not really willing to share it in a way. UM, but I feel like, well, at least I believe like if you kind of find yourself, UM, you don't really quite need anybody else completely young. What was the genesis

of this spiritual awakening? You know, I'm trying to use big words today. You know what I think, you know, being around My career really started basically in the basement of Playboy mancham right, that's where we get painted and everything. That was my first the first time I've been exposed to kind of like that l A Graham life, I suppose. UM.

And since then, you know, I lived in Beverly Hills. Um. You see a lot of people with a lot of wealth, UM, fame, you know, everything that people think that they may want. I started actually, UM, I was an assistant from for a very famous UM Instagram person who I feel like I should not name, but UM, so I got to travel a lot. I travel the world, UM, and it was it was a great experience. However, I feel like at the end of the day, no one's actually really

happy UM and their relationship did not last of course. UM, I'm sorry, who was this the Instagram couple, well, the the Instagram king. I really I signed the NDA, So I don't think I can say we always try to get the names out background with this little later on. Um. So I don't know. So at the end of the day, I just feel like looking at the outcome of their relationships and UM, it just doesn't it doesn't seem like

a positive experience. Um, they're not really growing from So for someone in your position, doing what you've done and being as beautiful as you are, I feel like you have to be keeping the guys away with a stick, right, you know what. I always feel like you're as safe as you want to be. Um. And so when I go out, I feel like I kind of put out there or where I'm just like, yeah, I don't really feel like being approached right now. So surprisingly I don't

get approach for a lot. No, I don't believe it. No, it's true. Thing. You guys are way too beautiful to not get approached. Yeah, I agree, you're you're beautiful. Yeah, you're way too It's not bad in today, I know that's I know that sounds weird. But it's like guys typically are really forward when it comes to that kind of stuff. They tend to go from my friends. They will talk to my girlfriends. Yeah, probably to get to talk to you, I would imagine. I don't know. I

don't know. I um, I guess picking up guys at bars have never really been my thing because they're you're not picking them up, they're picking you are. Yeah, you know what. I'm allergic to alcohol, so that's probably a big factor to So apparently you're more act with more purpose. I guess when you're not quite as drunk or at the bar doing that kind of stuff. True this year,

I guess I wouldn't really know. I don't know. It's just interesting to me because, um, I don't know, you know, like, I'm sure that you still attract a lot of attention despite the fact that it seems maybe sometimes guys would just be intimidated. I guess, But you know what, it's hard because I don't really perceive myself that way. Um,

so I don't see what other people see in a way. UM, I mean, I guess people tend to look a lot, but you know, they always do, so you know, you just kind of get used to it, UM, So I

don't know. I'm going to talk more about the spiritual awakening and how you want to yeah, because it's such an interesting journey going from being a playmate to now wanting to connect with millennials and wanting you know, how did it so for me when I went to bally My It sounds really cliche, but Bally for me kind of changed my perspective on what I eat now and like how I connect with people and how I empathize. So I guess your experience was living in the culture

of l A and thinking that, oh, definitely UM. But when I was traveling around UM with my former employer UM, we actually went over to bally Um and I really feel like it's such spiritual religious grounds. It really did inspire me to kind of stick to my path UM. But definitely, for the most part, where propelled me is kind of m just not wanting the end result of some of the people that I thought for a long time I was looking up to UM at least in

the personal life. You know, as far as hard work, Su says, I'm definitely about that, UM, But as far as their personal lives, I don't really tend to agree with the choices that they were making or who is this always? I do like how you said, though, from from your time in Los Angeles and your time working for celebrities and there's so much fame and money that goes around that you've kind of gone through the spiritual awakening because you realize that that's just not the important

things in life. There's a quote, I know, I'm such a loser, but there's a quote by Jim Kerrey. By all people, oh, I I think he you know, he's well known for going through some somewhat of a spiritual awakening right now. And one of my favorite quotes by him, he said that I often said that I wish people could realize are their dreams and wealth and fame, so they could see that it's not where they're going to find their sense of completion in life. And I couldn't

agree more with that. I mean, granted, we have, you know, Vanessa Dean and myself from just being on the Bachelor, a very small taste of what that life is like, and I think we can all agree that it's truly not as fulfilling as people would probably think it is. I I completely agree. Um, I think we we tend to ideal lives, um, what we see on TV and

the image that Hollywood essentially is projecting. And so unless I feel like you had like a true l A experience or you kind of live you know, in l A and it's involved somehow in the entertainment industry, you really wouldn't know for sure. Um. And I feel like people tend to be like we, we tend to all be very ambitious, um and before you know it, you

kind of like chase this dream. Um. And I feel like there's really no into that, you know, and I feel like we are goals tend to get bigger, and we neglect really what's important, really, like what's the desires of connecting interpersonal connection love? And you know, we don't listen to our intuition. We neglect, you know, what's in

our hearts. Um, you know, in pursuit of wealth and fame. Yeah, you get distracted by a lot of things that come your way, especially in the entertainment and straight But you've lived quite a life now. You were born in China, I was, and then you came to United States at age seven seven I believe so, Um, I was born in hard being it's a town actually in the middle, right in between the Chinese and Russian border. Um so, my mother she has a Kasak background, and my father

he's Chinese. And then where'd you because you didn't move to Los Angeles? So a little bit later, right, um so we moved over to Florida first. Um I went to Florida's state No state tax, love it, Semonose's the one comments you have to think about the state of It's a big factor. That's a thirty year old speaking right there. No state tax, baby, Sunshine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that. I apologized. I mean, honestly, I would never I feel like Florida is just not a place

where anybody really wants to be. So I apologize, and listener, I'm sorry. Sunshine does not reflect the overall idea of what this podcast we're all thinking. I mean, I agree with her, so so okay, but um to bring it back to dating, right, because it is a dating podcast. Okay, can you share some like because I'm sure you've been in some weird situations with dating, Right, what's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you? Maybe like on a date or with a guy that you've been talking to

you know what? Um? I think for about a year ago, UM, I was seeing someone you know casually, and I feel like in l A if you kind of like casually date someone for you know, a year on and off, they we tend to think we're like in a relationship

because everything is so temporary here. Um. And at the time, I started working for my employer, and so every morning sometimes I awake Ume get a text from him and says, hey, you need to be at the Bourbonk airport now that yet is taking off in an our path and let's go right and I will be gone for who knows how long and a lot of times I don't know where I'm going. So so waking up next next to someone having to explain to them that you can't spend a day with them because of these reasons, it was

it was pretty interesting. So it was a little weird for me. UM. So after that, I basically said, you know, probably, you know, if you make a choice between career and love, then for now I want to focus on me, right. And is that because you would feel guilty about leaving someone that you would be interested in behind. Yeah, and also because you feel like you know, it's just for now,

it is probably not going to a good place. Um, it's not really like a discussion that I was trying to have, you know, I didn't want to have to explain myself. But I also feel like I shouldn't be in a way because you know, I'm doing it for my job, and yeah, exactly can I can I ask you to expand on the idea you said people date for a year and they think it's temporary. Can you just expand on that? You know? I feel like in

l a, um, everything moves so quickly. Um, and we go out, there's you know, beautiful, beautiful people all around us. So I feel like, in a way, people can get replaced really quickly. And I've seen that like play out in so many scenarios, whether that's a Playboy party, you know, or a party at the hills you know. Um, and people get married and they get divorced within like a

few months. You see it a lot. Um. So I feel like if we start like casually seeing someone for a prolonged period of time, both parties began to think, oh, well, like we're dating, this is like what a relationship is supposed to be. But we an't know, that's really not the case. Um. So I feel like in this city, um we definitely downplay the idea of relationships, downplay them, right because paradox of choice, right, we have so many

options that our fingertips at all times. It makes it challenging, especially in the in the world that playboy world. I can only imagine. I've never been to a Playboy but I would imagine if a guy were to go, there would be like heaven for that guy, you know, so like you're you're dating someone. It could definitely be a stress test for a relationship for a guy to go to the Playboy mansion. But just I feel like any event in l a revolving around like the Hollywood, you know, see,

you're gonna be dealing with that problem. So for our listeners who because you do talk about how your cup is overflowing and you have so much self love now and you don't really have time to date. So for our listeners who are in that position where they are single but they don't feel that same kind of self love and they don't have the confidence and they don't have you know, I guess the same type of confidence

that you have. What kind of advice can you give to them to have that self love and not compare yourself to other people or other relationships that you do see on social media and they seem perfect, but you know they're struggling as well well first of all, and you think you see on Instagram is basically byes. Take in that pictures and it's a padded bro right right.

So any lifestyle, UM, any person you see, you know, either they had like a lot of surgeries or whatever it is, their lives are perfect, you know, UM, And they probably put in they're willing to put in a more a lot more time kind of keeping up with that Dog and Pony show versus a lot of people who are not so into that type of lifestyle. UM. But most importantly, I think people should like go within um instead of putting their dreams and hopes into factors

that are outside of them which they can cannot control. UM. And a good way of going about that is just be your authentic self. UM. Try to be as truthful as you can in any scenario. And it can be really hard at first, UM because I feel like our pride and ego tends to get in a way. UM. But once you kind of overcome that. However, you do that in your own way. It's going to take a little time, but you will begin to see things like very different and not compare yourself to other people. Yeah,

it's really hard not to compare yourself. I think it's also really hard to be fully truthful because as human beings, I think we're very indecisive and we kind of get

confused a lot of the times. And I think that's where trouble uh comes into the relationship because then when you're you're talking about l a relationships where people are kind of you know, they're looking at you, but they're also looking over your shoulder for the next person, and I think that causes a lot of issues because then people are like, well, is this the person for me? Because would I be looking at this other person if

this was my soul mate? And so I think some people inflate this idea of what a relationship is supposed to be, where they kind of forget that commitment is a choice and like you have to continue to choose that person every day and that doesn't mean it's going to come easy. So one of the things one of the things for me, I think not speaking on my

own relationship. It would be such a good house been. Um. I think it's really important for us all to kind of stay in the present, right, um So not to kind of meet someone and right away expect commitment or see yourself with them five years, ten years, you know, down the line, you're stay in the present. You have a good time, and you look at them without judgment.

And it's so hard, right, and you have to look at yourself without judgment in a way because in a way you might know that they have other options whatever, but you have to also kind of be forgiving on yourself and say, you know what, I'm here for the fun, I'm gonna I'm gonna stay present, and you know, I feel like the person that's meant for me is coming. And if this person is meant for me, then I'm gonna know. That's kind of how I thought about it too.

It's always like it's funny, actually, I look back to how I used to think about these types of things, even as a kid, Like this utopic idea where you just go about doing everything that you want to be doing in your life and if someone comes in and seamlessly integrates into that being, that's fantastic, right, and that's why I hear people say things like relationships are compromises and all though those things, I'm like, well, but I've

never really thought of it that way. You know, I understand there are certain points if you love someone you should compromise for them. Um not you should you have to do right. But that's what But that's what I'm saying.

But then that goes back that that refutes my point that I was trying to make earlier, where it's like, if you can love someone, but I think that the way that I've used like a soul mate or someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with, like she'll like get upset with me about certain things, but she'll never like ask me to change things about

myself and vice versa. You know what I mean, yes and no, Like speaking from my own experience specifically actually my fiance, UM, I can't imagine anybody who's more perfect for me. Having said that, there's so many differences that we have in our lifestyle, the things that we want, the things that we like doing, and so the idea I think for someone to say I need to be in a relationship, you know, with someone who doesn't want me to change at all, I think might be a

naive way to look at it. Not saying your view viewpoints naive. You're very intelligent, smart, good looking, handsome, sexy man um but uh but you know, going through this, you know, relationship with actually and the engagement and then past relationships as well as a younger man and kind of looking at the wrongs that I did, I do realize now that you have to change a little bit. You do not change the person you are, but maybe certain aspects of your life that you just you have to.

It's like, I'm sure Mark can attest this, having kids, being married, like there are parts of your life that you have to say, well, I have to change because if I don't change, then I'm not going to be as good as a father or a husband. Bachelor guy, husband and dad are three completely different people. I'm just gonna keep on doing what I'm doing and if people like it, they like it. If they don't like it, they can't get the hell out of the way. Get Yeah,

they're just roadblocks. That's that's honest. That's that's like that I'm looking at things honestly, I understand that maybe that's why I'm probably single. That's why my relationships always sail. But I'm always just like, look, this is what I'm gonna be doing, and I don't really want to do anything else. Otherwise I would be doing that other thing. But you might someday we evolve as humans we evolved. I sure hope so. But it's one of the things

that you don't want to change. I mean, I can't think of anything specifically, but I'm sure that they're like little mannerisms or or or like semantics, things that I could change on a regular basis to help make someone like me more for certain reasons. But I just don't want to be liked for the reasons that they want to like me for. I want to be liked for myself. And then I you know, I don't want to say they want to compromise on that, and I also wanted

to be known. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And in life you just have to weigh options, right, you know, Hey, do I want to continue doing what I'm doing because I like my life and I want to go down that path, But it's also might be um. I mean, this is a bad word to use, but you know that I can think of like selfish of me too,

Can you do? Can doing doing that? Because I also want a relationship, But those two things don't match up, right, So you just, like with anything, you just have to make it. But I think that I think to Sunshine's point,

eventually they will match up. I well, you know, I think we go through life and eventually we will all meet somebody that kind of inspire or push us to go on this like self realization journey, which it sounds like you know you went through one was your fiance at some point where she kind of inspired you to go inside and find yourself and and that you did that, and in a way, I think you you saw it as a compromise to be with her, but in reality, I think she inspired you to become a better person.

So that in a self is a spiritual awakening, and we that's what we actually call it. Um. I think we just all need to find a person that is can inspire us, you know, in life. And to go back to what you both are saying, and to what Mark was saying, is that we do evolve as humans.

So like what you want and need right now, that could easily change in two years and then that's when maybe two, Sunshine, Sunshine's point your life will match up to the point of Oh, now is the time where I feel ready to commit myself in a relationship and possibly make some sacrifices that are needed in order to be in a healthy and successful you know, relationship, engagement, marriage. So, Sunshine,

you said your cup was overflowing. At what point does that cup stop overflowing and give you space for a relationship? Just get a bigger cup? Um. You know, I just I feel like, look, you know, if IVER come across the right person at this point, because I'm willing to see my reality for the way it is, and I do continue to live in my truth every day on a daily basis, I'm going to recognize that person right away, you know. Um. I know it sounds silly, but I

hear all the time prior to I guess this awakening. Um, people would say, you know, when you know, you know, you know, you're gonna know as soon as you look in his eyes or whatever. UM. And I never really believe that, UM, because I think I was trying so hard to kind of go down to to close and say, does this person have these characters? You know? Whatever it is? X y Z Um, that kind of satisfy um in

a sense actually my ego right. Um. But now I think I'm so willing to kind of uh lose that sense of pride um and not time my own self identity on the capabilities of others that I'm willing to just be mycent authentic self and say, you know what, if I come across this person despite all the shortcomings, then I really feel like he's the one, um, and

I'm willing to you know, change accordingly, I suppose. I think something that you just mentioned is actually one of my biggest fears as it pertains to relationships, is you I would be afraid of losing my self identity as well going into relationship because when I see people do that, I get a little upset. Not upset, but I always like, I always see that, and I'm like, well, okay, I

definitely don't want that to happen. And so you're saying that that's something that you obviously don't want for yourself. So you know, Um, as far as a self identity thing, I think, um, it's so tied up with the idea of like the human ego, and and it's actually something that we're supposed to you know, willing. We we have to be willing to leave behind behind in order to like complete our spiritual journey. Right. So it's a really interesting um theory because most of us can't imagine um,

living going on in life without a self identity. Um So. But in a way, once you kind of complete that cycle, um, you don't feel things as competition, jealousy, um hey, and so you're being what's left within you is just pure love and happiness and joy. I know it sounds like a fantasy, but I'm kind of I feel like I'm

getting closer to it every day. Um So, in a way, now, what I was saying is that because I feel very fulfilled being on my own, I don't expect this person to any longer go by what I used to up that by my old expectations, um of finding the perfect person that fits all of these checkpoints. Right. And it's it's funny, I think you stopped looking and almost when you're looking in the opposite direction is when something good. Yeah, when you look for answers within within right within yourself.

You know, I don't look for it within like other people. It's always when we're at least expecting it. Yeah. Wait, did you ever answer the cup question? Are you just gonna get a bigger cup or bigger? Um? No, I think I think I'm I'm gonna kind of live my life. I'm not. I'm not thinking too much about that right now because I don't want to project any sort of like anxieties about the future. Um. I feel like he

creates like a lot of unnecessary fear. Um. One of my favorite philosophers always says, if we knew everything about the future, if we knew everything that was going to unfold, we'd already be living in the past, and no one wants to live in the Past's absolutely smart, so smart. Yeah, you should just taking credit for that quote yourself. What sometimes? What's your what are your love languages? You know? How do you mean languages? Oh? Well, okay, off the topic,

we'll rattlem off real quick. There's quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, and why am I blanking on the fifth one? As service? So of those five, which of those would be the most important for you to receive from from a potential significant other. Um, I think acts of service and I'm a very physical person, so

definitely the physical touch. Okay, we're not arguing. I was just curious, Like I said, I don't know, because I feel like for someone that's done the things that you've done, especially with Playboy specifically. Um, I think Playboy does a really good job of keeping everything I guess tasteful, but there's still like a certain level of objectification that comes along from the from like the less lesser informed audience member. Right. Um, and so I've always been curious how that affects people

in those positions. Um, you know, I guess I can only speak for myself. Um. It's really like I said, you're as safe as you you choose to be, right. Um, so if you kind of like separate yourself from the masses, and you're always going to be the black sheep. But you know, I'd rather say my truth be different. It's fun you stand out. He wants to be a regular colored sheep sometimes blending. It's not so bad. Well, Sunshine, you are currently writing a book, I am. We're working

on it. Yeah, yeah, so you know, playing with the ideas and everything. So, um, and we should be starting with a writing writing process in a few months. Can you teach us what the book is going to be about? It's basically UM self realization, UM, the journey to awakening if you think to the alchemist, UM. But it's more it's a story where it's relatable I think in a modern world. UM. Yeah, are you going to write about your former UM employer or anything like that? Stay tuned.

We'll just give us a little teaser on that then real quick, how I'm just kidding. I think that was the teaser right there. I'm just kidding. What else and what else are you working on besides the books? And I know you probably have a couple of other things going on. Yeah, so I'm actually working on the maximum cover UM for this year. I hope to get published by Datum this year. Thanks well, good luck with that. Thank you, Thank you so much. Well, Sonini, thank you

so much for joining us. We really appreciate it. For our listeners out there, where can they find you on social and all that kind of stuff. You can find me on Instagram. It's Captain as Sunny. So that's two s is okay, great, that's s U and yeah, as you so Captain s and then Sonny so as As. I don't know why I would have thought it would be. I have no idea why you would think about I just really embarrassed, Sunshine. Thank you so much. I embrassed myself earlier and thank you for coming. So do we

have emails? Mark? Well? I got this from from Elena. Oh perfect, We love Alena. It's specifically addressed to Vanessa. But I think you could all weigh in on something like this this past week. The past few weeks, Vanessa has mentioned a few times that her boyfriend is Jewish and she's Christian, and how they would move forward with raising kids if it ever came to that. I come from a blended family where my mom was raised Jewish

and my dad raised Christian. Growing up, my parents gave us the opportunity to celebrate both holidays from both religions. May even let us decide in our own what we believe in. I don't like seeing couples go through hard times because of religious differences when I know firsthand it can work if both people are open minded, especially if this person is your person. That's a landa and I really a question, Vanessa, Um, Yeah, no, I I I'm not.

I think when it comes to my relationship with Josh, we're both not extremely religious people, so it doesn't really interfere with our beliefs, um. But we're very open minded. And that was my thing too. When I was moving back to Montreal, it was seven years that I hadn't dated anyone from the city because I've a lot of people were closes minded. If you're Greek, you stick with your Greek community. For your Italian you stick with your Italians. And I'm like, that was never me. I did one

Italian and Nami nationalities. I've probably dated a lot of them, um. And so when it came to religion as well, I was always open to different types of religions because if you fall in love that person, you know you can try to you can definitely make it work. My only thing was if someone that I am dating has a different you know, from a different background, of different religion, and they asked me to convert in order to get

married to them. No, Like, if you fell in love with me, that means you fell in love with me with the religion I was. I was practicing and with everything that I was before you got engaged to me. So I that's one thing I never really understood. Like if I don't know, chime in guys. If no, yeah, totally. If you start projecting your religion onto other people, then

that causes issues, right. But if you if believing makes you a better person, and you want to believe and it doesn't infringe on anybody else, then I'm absolutely for it. I think obviously, like this email talks about, and we've talked about in the past, kids change that because you want your kids to be raised in a certain way. But that's where you have to have serious talks with your significant other and figure out what exactly you're going

to do. And I love this email because, as Elena pointed out, both her parents were different religions and she grew up celebrating both holidays and really, uh it was up to her what she chose to believe as she grew up. So I love that. Um, why doesn't seem like a religion is such a taboo thing for us to talk about? You know? Taboo and politics are religion in politics? You mean? Is that what you meant? Yeahs taboo and politics? You don't talk about taboo? Wow? Yeah,

I need to eat. It's almost dis money, Like we all have these we have these things that we just like go through life. I think religion and politics because there's going to be a section of your audience that you alienate with your beliefs, and you and you want to still be all things to all people. I guess I was thinking less for our audience and more just

in regular conversation. Well, I think people. I mean, religion is one of the most important things in life to a you know a lot of people in this world, right, so it's so important to certain people. Why don't we all talk about it more openly? Well, because a lot of people don't believe what you believe. Like, for example, say hypothetically, I was an atheist and you were a devoted Christian and I was like, yeah, I think God doesn't exist in your entire life you've believed this way,

and you're like, no, screw you, he does exist. But here's my I guess here's my stance with it is I'm agnostic. I border more atheist than I do anything other than agnostic religion. But I'm open to the idea of belief. But I'm I like having conversations with people about religion, especially people that are religious, because I like to hear why they're religious. I like to hear what they practice and how they believe it. And I just I think that people always think that there's always going

to be an argument that stems from it. But if we're talking about things and it's just like an open minded conversation, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But not everybody's like you, which is that? Trust me? I'm like as well. But I've discovered while talking about religion and politics openly to people that so many of us get so many people just get uncomfortable and hate the topic

that it's all it does sometimes is breed argument. It's an actual conversation, for sure, But at the Dean's point, you can learn a lot talking to people who have completely different beliefs than you. If it's a respectful conversation, it's not going to get angry or offended. It's you gotta be careful with it. But I do I find it fascinate because it's such a wide range of religious beliefs out there. It is kind of interesting to explore

that totally. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of I love talking about it too, but I think, like Mark said, you just kind of have to like gauge your audience. It's unfortunate everybody, I would hope would feel comfortable talking

about it, but everybody just doesn't, right. I just don't like sometimes when people feel uncomfortable talking about it with me, because I'm like I've gone through the phases of where I would like argue to an extent about it, but now I'm just kind of curious, especially with the people that uh believe it like blindly, and just like it's just interesting to hear about why they do that, um and and kind of like the path that they've walked in life to lead them to where they are now.

But still even those people sometimes they just don't like talking about it, and it's like it's just a conversation. It's at the end of it's all it is, is a conversation if it's about religion, if it's about politics or money. At the end of the day, it's like it's all things that we do in our private life. But for some reason, I guess for the reason you guys all just mentioned, it's a it's a decent enough reason to like validate the logic behind it. But it's

just like we refused to talk about it. People just don't want to be challenged with what their belief is and not feel me. I think like my grandmother is really religious, you know, she's so devoted, But it makes sense to her lifestyle, and it makes sense to UM the beliefs that she has, and it instill this unity

in our family. UM And yeah, I think at the end of the day, like she doesn't want to be challenged with it because that's the way that she was growing up and she tried to instill it in with us, but we were not very we're not. We don't practice it as much as she does. It's just, UM, I think it becomes a lifestyle and it becomes like a UM kind of like tradition, like why do you celebrate Christmas?

You know, like why you celebrates there becomes a tradition and it becomes something that you do with your family. I guess as it pertains to relationships, I would always be I would always be remiss if the potential of a religion driving the wedge between a relationship, because it's like, we should never let something like that drive a wedge between two people that might end up liking each other when it's just a belief that we were probably taught

to learn or to believe. Yeah, but it all depends again on the person because there are people who are born and raised with a certain type of religion and believe in it so much that their entire life surrounds it.

You know, so if if, for example, like even something as dumb as you know, uh, they're not dumb, but you know, getting married in the church versus not getting married in church, or like getting a traditional ceremony, or how you're going to raise your kids, because some people are like my kids are getting raised Christian and you're not telling the other words. And I guess you can see on The Bachelor d even where Luke p is the guy that says he is not gonna have sex

until marriage, even obviously he's already had sex. But I guess that would be like that. How do you know he's already had sex? He said that. Yeah, he said he was banging girls left and right in college. And then God talked to him in the show. That's right, that's right. God likes him in the shower. Have you been watching hand the season on and off? But God spoke to him in the shower, came down and grabbed his member while he was in the shower and said,

stop using this young man anyways. Yeah, not good. That's something where it's like if I really liked a girl and she said she was saving herself for marriage, that would be something It's like, it's a challenging obstacle to overcome. Um. But if it's like a practice where it's like I'm going to go to church every Sunday and this is what I believe and this is how I pray, then that's always something that you're like, Okay, that's cool, that's part of you. I'm not gonna argue that. I'm just

I want to get to know more of it. Um. And then I guess the tricky thing I can only imagine is once you have children, what do you guys? What do you do then do with the children? Whose ideas are they going to adopt? What? I guess obviously that's just such a hard fetched idea for me. So maybe that's why I haven't even go there we go that's fair. Well, that's a hell of a way to wrap up this podcast, if I don't say so myself. Um, Well, a big thank you to Sunshine. Shin H Dean is

already on a nickname basis with her Sunny Sunday. Um. She has a new book having out which is very exciting, so we'll all be looking for that in the near future. Thank you to all of the Bachelor and Paradise cast members for providing us with the summer field of drama, romance, laughter. I can't wait to watch them. We can all watch from afar, eat some popcorn, and enjoy. Uh So yeah, big thank you to Vanessa for skyping in because you're the best and you dominate life. Dean, you're good to

thank you for joining as always. Uh and I'm Jared Haven and join us next week for a no episode of Help by Second Dating, where hopefully we suck a little less nice. Follow Help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen a podcast. Mmm.