Mensches & Schmucks

gonna be interesting. I'd love to hear more about that. One of the hot topics we have this week Wells Adams, our friend Wells, somebody you recently went golfing with. Thanks for the invite. Bra. You're like, you're in Rhode Island or something, aren't you. No, I'm in l A right now. Nice should It was great? Uh, well, it'll be a good time. I heard Wells as a golfer, so I don't want to embarrass myself. But Wells Adams was not

in the news because of his golfing skills. He was in the news because he's talking about getting married to his beautiful fiancee Sarah Highland, apparently well said when asked the question would you be interested in having a wedding in Bachelor in Paradise? Wells responded and quote, no, thank you, hard pass not surprised. I wonder if that I wonder if that was more of a Wells thing or more of a Sarah thing. I think it's I think it's definitely both. But I fully believe that Wells does not

want to get married in Paradise, nor do I blame him. Um, Listen, the show is awesome. I'm a full supporter of the show everything the show has given us. When Ash and I got engaged down in Paradise, Um, there was some preliminary, very small conversations about possibly getting married on the show, and they said, we, you know, would you be interested in getting married on Bachelor in Paradise? And we said no, uh, because it's such a cool opportunity to get married on

the show. But at the same time, we've seen friends go through the process of planning a wedding with the show, and like, it's not just about you, It's about a TV show. So you know, there's certain cap on guests you can invite, you know, where the wedding is going to be. You know, some of the ceremonial proceedings, you know it's you know, you get some say in it, but not all. And on your wedding day, you like, it's your freaking wedding day. You wanted it to be

everything you've ever wanted, So I don't. I don't. Probably probably would have saved a good amount of money, though, huh, Well, that's the nice thing is you save a lot of money. And actually, to reference Ash and I, because we went through very similar situation, we thought about the same thing. We're like, wow, we can get a free wedding. I mean,

who gets the opportunity to have that. But at the end of the day, I mean we're we're forever grateful that we didn't go down that route, not because we don't love the show or wouldn't have wanted the opportunity to get married on the show, but we just wanted our wedding to be what we wanted it to be, Like Crystal and Chris's wedding down in Paradise, the season that you were on literally two days after you left Paradise first breaking up with Calin of course, going back

to you know, super off her feet. Uh, you know, you just see like firsthand it was it was hard because it was their wedding, but like it was also an episode of Bachelor and Paradise where like John Paul Jones and Derek were fighting and there was always dramatic events home going on, and like they weren't the center of attention, which is really sad to not have all the attention on you on your running day because it's

literally the one day everything should be about you. Well, and to make it to make matters even worse in that sense, it's like they're causing all this drama and making it about them. And Chris and Chrystal don't even really know these people, you know, like they don't know John Paul Jones. And yet John Paul Jones is the

one that's creating a stir at the wedding. So it's like, at least if you have your own wedding, like you're an Ashley's wedding, if someone created a scene or a stir, at least you would be like, that's just that's just Nick being Nick, you know, that's but Laurie, you know, she's crazy. Oh, she got into the she spiked the cool aid again. That's all Laurie for you. You know,

it's a funny story. My sister's wedding. Uh, there was a big who who pla because one of the guests wore white dress, which is a big no nub is. The only person is supposed to be wearing white is of course the bride. So that was what was her what was her rationale for it? So apparently her dress. She was gonna wear a blue dress or some other color dress, but it got ruined like the day before, and this is the only dress she had, and it was it was definitely white, but there was like tints

of blue in it. So her argument was it was a blue dress, even though I mean it was as white as my skin right now. It's like that the office when Kelly wears white too. I think it was Phyllis's wedding or something, and she goes it was a fashion emergency. The emergency was I look really good and white, similar but different. You look good in certain colors. I look good and black, very slimming. Would you ever get

married in a bachelor and paradise? You can calin, well, I don't think I'll ever get married, But I mean I don't feel sorry if you have to get remarried, right right right. I don't see why not, you know, free vacation. Uh, I mean I don't do why not. It's like I don't really put much stick into weddings anyway, so it's like, why not just have them fight down and only you know some you know, commitment for the rest of your life. It's really not that big of

a deal. Well yeah, I mean, I you know, I wake up every morning and I tell Calin how committed I am to her for the rest of my life. I don't think I need a wedding to tell me that how much how I need to do that? You know what a sweet sweet man does feeling want a big wedding. Have you ever talked for about it? Uh? We we have not talked about it. I mean we haven't like not talked about it, but we uh we don't. It's not something we dwell on. I'm not dwelling on.

But just like you know, I remember even when Ashley and I first got together. You know, it's like conversation since you have were like, well, if you know, would you want kids? Somebody kids? Would you want even though you're not planning like have kids with them right now. It's kind of like, just don't talk. I don't think she would want a big one. I think she'd wanted to be in small, intimate gathering. What would you want, like I said, I wouldn't want anything at all. You

would never want a ceremony or anything. You wouldn't really care. No, I mean I I don't. I A. I don't like Um. It's the same reason I don't really ever like host people over at my house. I hate being like the reason that people are getting together. I hate that like people are coming somewhere from far away to like celebrate you, and like all eyes are on you, and they're like expecting you to like entertain them more or less, you know what I mean. Uh, And so that just that

kind of gives me anxiety. So I don't I don't really ever foresee myself wanting a wedding because of that reason.

I agree with you usually on the same boat. But with our wedding, UM, there was this innate like I remember when we were uh like in the little side room for the Grunsman and just being so overwhelmed with emotion because of the exact feeling you're describing right now that literally everybody was there just for me and Ash and celebrating our love and like all the people that I love are all together and this is never gonna

happen again. And so for that reason, I and I think the wedding is like the one time where you can get away with that being like, hey, I don't I like, you just got to focus on it. I know you're here for me, but you need to focus on yourself kind of thing. I don't know, I don't know how to describe it, but like that what you're exactly talking about is the reason why I don't like

hosting people except for the web. My wedding day there's the only time where I was like, I'm so happy that everybody went out of their way to be here for me. Well, yeah, I mean it's I guess it's something that you probably were even stressing out about before the wedding and then at the wet like you're saying in that side room before we're going out there on stage or whatever on the altar, whatever you wanna call it. Uh, that's probably like when you're like, okay, because it's actually

pretty cool, right, Oh, it was awesome. Yeah, the doors open up. You were the first one who walked down the aisle is you and Courtney, and it was just like and then like it was. It was so emotional for me because I've talked about this on the podcast before, the the combining of all my friends and family, people that don't know each other, like you and Nick have never met my friends from from home or my family, and then so like my friends from home, I've never

met you guys. And then you know, with Ben and and and and and like Becca and and Tod you were there and Amanda and and it was just like this this joining of of two separate lives that Ashley and I lead, which is what I love so much. That was like the best part. But here's the difference between you and me. If we were in a movie, you would be You're like the main character or like a central character in the movie, and I'm just like a character that comes in, does something crazy and then

leaves just as quickly as I came. And so you know, for for supplementary characters like myself, just it's a little it's a little different. See I disagree. I think you're just in a different movie. Like I'm a prototypical wrong, Um, like whatever, dude, you know, but where you your movie? Like I'm in an hour and a half rom com. You are in a three hour epic documentary that just goes through the story of your life. You know, I disagree, but I appreciate that I'm in Yeah, I'm in uh

ten things I hate about you? You are in free Solo. Yeah. But the difference is comparing myself to Alex Honold is like comparing a raisin to a pumpkin and then comparing you to what is it, Heath Ledger that's in that movie is like comparing huh, like a to an orange? No, like, it's it's It's a much closer comparison that you have to the lead of that film than I do. That much closer to Heath Ledger. God reciscal uh he was good looking man. A lot of charm to that guy. Anyway,

let's move on. We'll go to the next hot topic before we get our guests on here. Former bachelorette, Sorry, go well, before before we talk about Hannah Brown, I want to talk about this real quick. So uh, Michael, Michael B. Jordan's everyone's man crush in the world is now dating Lorie Harvey, or at least they're officially dating um and Lorie Harvey is the daughter of Steve Harvey, and Steve has gone on record to say something along the lines of I like this one, but I still

got my eye on him. I mean, I like him, but like I say to all of them, I might like you, I might approve of you, but I've got some a thumb sized section of my heart filled with nothing but pure hatred for you, just in case I need it. So my question is for for you, what was it like when you met Ashley's dad for the first time? And then what was it like to kind of, uh,

you know, win his approval or win him over. Well, it was interesting meeting Ashley Z because when I first met him ashe and I were just friends, and I thought his her parents were gonna freaking hate me. Thank god,

they're so welcoming and sweet that that didn't happen. Because I met them immediately after our first season in Paradise, where I was just the guy rejecting their daughter, and they were so nice and so welcoming, And at this point ash and I had become friends, so I'm sure you know, behind my back, so to speaking, not in a malicious way, but they were definitely dubious of me, as they well should have been. But once we started dating to kind of fast forward, they were I think

they just they always knew. I think they always felt, just like a lot of people did in our lives, that Ash and I were going to end up together. And I think they always like that. I don't know, they they just I never got the treatment of like the dad sitting me down and talking to me about you know, loyalty and you know, trying to scare the that of me before I take their daughter on a first date. I never really got that. I've never gotten out my life, have you. Um I don't think so.

I don't think so. But I guess all the girls that I've did in my life, I've always had that issues. And maybe that's why. Hell, all right, well do you have a time there we go? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. UM So, so you don't think there's a point where like Mr Kennedy could like snap his fingers and just have a complete and utter hatred for you. Um No, I think we've grown too close, especially now you know, after every you know, after being married, into

the family and spending so much time together. No, I would hope not. I mean, who the hell knows, really, I don't want to predict the future, but I hope that there's a come point where he snaps his fingers like van Els and then immediately just hates my guts um.

But anytime I hear stories about this, all I can think about is bad Boys Too, when Will Smith and Morton Lawrence go to the door and just scare the crap out of that kid, and and Will Smith's like, I just got out of jail and I ain't going back. I so my dad. Yeah, I've never really encountered a dad like that, which is so disappointing. I'm curious, if you know, if I'm like, uh huh, and it's kind of disappointed. Don't you want to see that like that

one time? Being like the guy that goes to the door to take the daughter out, and like the dad comes to the door to the shotgun and it's like home by ten or I'm gonna you know bury you right. I wonder if if anyone in that that produces this podcast might be that type of way, because Mark, for instance, has two daughters. If I remember correctly. Mark, do you want to chime in and maybe share your thoughts on

this as a whole. I do have two daughters, and I've never subscribed to that shotgun dad kind of theory because you just want, you talk a big game until they're born, and then you just wanted to be happy. You just wanted to date a nice guy. You just want the best for them. So I'm not going to intimidate anybody. My fourteen year old has a boyfriend and

he's great, and we think he's great. Now, of course, they can't see each other because of the pandemic, so it's basically a FaceTime relationship and that helps me and helps me eas into it. They start dating over FaceTime or do they know each other before. They've known each other from school, but it became a thing over firstime. It is kind of like a win win for you as a father because, uh, you know, they're not doing anything like physical right and they're like actually like building

a foundation of trust. And I was just like talking to each other all the love it absolutely and also it's a little bit different for you because Mark's you know, midwestern guy married his high school sweetheart, like lives in Los Angeles has a great job, great life. Like Mark has nothing to be angry about, so he's not gonna like lash out on his daughter's boyfriends or anything like that. I love that. That's your perspective of me, Dan, and

I'll take that. That's that's yeah, that's how I see you. But you know, maybe I could be wrong. In our last hot topic before we have our guests, come on, former bachelorette Hannah Brown was spotted holding hands with model Adam Woollard. I don't know why I said that Woollard in Los Angeles. This was actually confirmed by Matt James on our fellow our heart radio podcast Almost fam is hosted by the Beautiful, Wonderful The Woman I Love Ashley I Ken Eddie Who and Matt James confirmed he he's like,

Oh I met Hannah's boyfriend and he's incredible. So Hannah Brown with a new leading man in her life. But it's not I mean, I guess it's official. It's just not Instagram with Thistle, so she has to like post it. Come on now. Uh. Any thoughts on Hannah Brown dating a new guy? Nope, no thoughts. Congratulations to her. That's good for good for her, yeah, I mean it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard for her because she was like very famously single for a while after her

and Jed broke up. So I mean, I probably would imagine she's been dating. But it's good that she's finally comfortable enough with someone to start talking about him publicly. I'm curious what Tyler thinks about this, because Tyler and her have such a close, you know, public relationship. I'm curious if Tyler is still one of her closest friends, because it's always weird when you start dating guy and you have a guy best friend who you used to

you know, make out with. I mean, I'm pretty sure Tyler has been linked with like six different Instagram models, so I don't think he probably cares too much. Well. The reason I asked this question is because when Ashley and I were just friends and I was going on dates with other people and she was going on dates with other people, these girls that I would go on dates with would always ask me about ash because they

knew that we had this friendship. But it was kind of weird because you know, ash had confessed or feeling so many times, and but you guys are still friends, so like, what is this? So I'm curious if this guy out him? When Hannah and him first started dating, was like, so what's up with Tyler? Are you guys just friends or not? Or should I be worried? You know, Tyler was obviously a very good looking man. If I was in adam shoes, I would have been worried if

they were so close. But I wish nothing but the best for Hannah and Adam. I'm very excited for Hannah. Hopefully, hopefully this is the one. So who's this Adam guy? He's a model or something? You said, Yeah, he's a model, lives in l A. I saw a picture of him only with his mask on, only saw his eyes, great eyes. Though, I feel like this is a very good looking man. Uh he has like he's like green eyes, very jealous green eyes are the best. I mean, he's a model,

so I'm sure he's pretty attractive. He's pretty pretty good looking. So good for Hannah. I'm happy for Like you said, she has been famously singer for quite some time, so I'm happy that she's in a relationship and hopefully it's a healthy and happy relationship, and hopefully it goes to the distance. Yeah great, I'm glad we could contribute really nothing to that whole lot of a lot of words with nothing behind him. You know, Hey, we're just here

to ask questions, not answer them. Okay, that's why we're here. That's what we do. That's why it's called help. I second dating. It holds us uh zero percent responsible for anything we say, because we're already telling you how much we suck, you know, so it's likely if we're wrong or we're being stupid. It's like, well, what did you expect? We say it right there in the title that we suck? Yeah, what did you famously say in Paradise under promise, over deliver.

That's what we do here at help. I suck at dating. You know, it's funny about about that. I think I might have show this on the podcast. Uh. I went, I got lunch with my boss like a like a lot, like a year ago or something like that, and he goes, hey, I heard you say under promise over deliver. And he goes, you know, I told you that when you were interviewing for this job, and I was like, I honestly had no idea. So apparently I sold that from my former

boss um, fun little facts. So, Daniel Tuto, if you're listening, thanks for the great catchphrase. Well yeah, yeah, yeah. We already take a quick break. We've got a great guest coming up, author of How to Marry a Mensch, Robin Gorman Newman, will be joining us, so stick around after the break. We're gonna have her on shortly. Well, welcome back to help I suck at dating. We have a very special guest joining us via zoom because of the

pandemic uh. She is the author of how to Marry a Mention, The Love Coach Guide to Meeting Your Mate, which is now available on Amazon. She is also the founder of www dot love coach dot com. Robin Gorman Newman, Robin, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you. I'm good. It's my pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me. Of course, first I have to say I love somebody with three names. I really I there's something badass about it. Robin Gorman Newman like it just sounds cool.

I'm gonna start calling myself Jared Matthew Haven. That's my middle name. It doesn't have as much gump sure as your name though. Unfortunately, so of course you are the author of How To Meet a Mention in New York and how to Marry a Mention? Um, you course been on CNN, You've been on the Today Show. So tell me, first of all, what exactly is a mention? Why should we want to marry a mention? A mention is a decent,

responsible person, and it's a man or a woman. So you don't have to be a mensche to be a female mench. And why are we talking about mention is because now more than ever, the world needs all the menshas it can get. And if you're looking for a mate or a partner or whatever it is you want in your life, a mensch is the way to go because they'll treat you well. And who wouldn't want that? And you read about specifically meeting a mention in New

York or how to Is that right? Well? My first book was about New York, but the second book is broad based and it includes stories of people who met their menses. Why do you think it's so hard to meet a mention in New York more so than most places? You know, it's a numbers game, and New York is so fast, just like the Internet is so fast. So there's on the web puble of the swiping, and in New York you have all the just speed walking and

everything is speed driven. And I think what's important is to give people a chance because a mench might not show up as the most um you know, enticing for us and to start to begin with, not to say that a mench can't be, but some people feel like a mention is maybe not sexy or maybe doesn't ride a motorcycle, and that's not true. But you want to give a person a chance, give them time, and don't judge so quickly. And I think New Yorkers or just maybe a little quick to do that. Well, I really

just faster in New York. That's the thing, exactly exactly. But let's talk about that then, because I imagine a lot of women struggle to transition from dating like the anti mench if you will to then start dating that

the mench right exactly. So what kind of advice would you have for someone that that even is able to recognize the fact that they're attracted to quote unquote bad boy or bad girl Because you said menches is gender agnostics, So what advice would you have for someone that's that has maybe recognized that fault in themselves and then wants to pursue a true mench. I think if they recognize that, that's half the battle, because a lot of the time

they're just not willing to admit that. And you really have to own your stuff. You want to do like a tough love look at yourself and if you've been doing the same thing like for the last ten years, and if you've never had a good relationship, then you want to step back and say, hey, you know what, I gotta do something different here, and I am willing to go the mench root. And let's frame that in a positive way. A mench is not a schlap. A mention is not a nerd. You know. Mention is not

a schlemil or any other word you would attach to it. Yeah, that's from the Labrena Shirley. Did you see that TV that song? You know, it's like as kind of person, And that's not what a mention is. A mention is a quality person. And I think that people are more inclined to meet one when you decide you deserve it. And that's really the key. So a lot of people,

I think can relate to what you're saying. Where oh, I've always dated the wrong people, but I'm attracted to the wrong people, and they recognize that they need to make a change in their life. I think the problem is a lot of people don't know how to even begin at making those changes. So do you have any advice for people that are going through similar situations where they realize they're dating the wrong people, they just don't

know how to date the right people. I think you might want to start by taking a look at what your efforts are. So, for example, if you want to meet a mention, and a mention could be also defined as someone who is community minded, someone who would have

your back but also possibly the back of others. So that could mean maybe exploring volunteer work, getting involved with a nonprofit organization, pursuing something with continuity, which that often happens with volunteer work because when you get to see some of the same faces more than once, you get

to establish friendships that can lead to more. So I'm really a fan of not just doing things that might feel blatantly social, but things that will expand your social circle and only maybe allow you to open your eyes in a way that you haven't done before. Do you think do you think it's possible to turn schmuck into a mench, And schmuck is the word I'm going to use as the opposite of a mention from now on. So can you Can you meet a schmuck and then turn him into a mench? Do you think that's a

really good question. I think you could only do that if the schmuck had the desire. Mm hmm. I I asked that too, because a lot of people so so, I've been dating my girlfriend now for almost uh two years something like that, it will be two years in June, and a lot of a lot of people when we started dating, we're saying that Kaylin is the one that turned me from a bad boy into a mench, right, and so uh I, I personally don't necessarily agree fully

with that, but I agree. I think that you have to find someone that's ready to put their schmuck ways behind them and ready and and and start being a mench. Did you that's interesting that story? Did you feel that did you feel a transition? I mean, yeah, I guess so. I think, well, there's like kind of a bit of a backstory, but like I broke up with her, like after a couple of days of dating because I don't

want to have a girlfriend. And then I realized the error of my ways, and I came back and asked her to be my girlfriend. And it's been more or less smooth sailing, you know, with a couple of couple of cloudy days, but for the most part it's been it's been pretty good. But transition from a schmuck to a mench, the schmuck needs to recognize there being a schmuck right well. And I think to Robin's point too, is I think that this schmuck at one point just decided I was done being a schmuck and I was

ready to be a mench. And so I was like, Okay, schmuck days are behind me. Mench days are ahead of me. Let's get this going. But do you think part of it is because of not just how what she might have offered you, but what you decided you wanted with her, and you wanted to show up as a better person. Yeah, I mean I think so. And don't get me wrong, I mean she deserves a lot of credit too, because

she makes me a better person as well. Um, it's not entirely just a decision, but but yeah, I don't know. It's hard to it's hard to say, really, but I've I've got a question for you. So, I believe in your books you say that most mentions are mama's boys. Is that true? Well, it depends how you define that. I mean, you could look at that initially and feel like that's a bad thing because when you say MoMA's boy, it might feel like they're attached to their mama or

what have you. But my point with that is that take a look at how they treat their mother. Because someone should respect their mother. Of course, love their mother, show up for their mother, you know, within reason. Of course, live their own life as well. But if they're not being decent towards their mother, to me, that's a major red flag. I agree, Jared, What do you think as I would say, Jared's mama's boy. Yeah, I'm a self

proclaimed mama's boy. I would well, I mean she Actually I was talking about this yesterday with to Ashley about how I feel like we don't appreciate our mother's enough. Because I so, I look at one of my close friends, Jade, and she has three kids. She's thirty three. All the kids are under three years old and I've seen how much love and effort this woman pours into her kids, and I was thinking about it. Her kids are never gonna remember this, Like everything she's ever done for them

up to this point, they're never gonna remember. They won't appreciate because at some point when like her kids get to ten or eleven, like, the kids are gonna hate the parents because that's what they do for a little while. And so to me, I was like, man, I feel bad, like literally up until I was you know, however, old seven, I I would have died without them, and I don't

even remember this. So anyway, uh, you know, for any and any schmucks out there who don't appreciate their parents, become a mensch and become a mama's boy, And as soon as you admit it, it's a better life, I promise you. So that's my theory on Mama's boy. But Jared, by that logic, you should just like say, have a baby, give it to like a foster, care for the first eight years of their life, and then take it back

and then start raising it. Yeah, no difference exactly. I think I think you're you're Jade, for instance, who's raising these young children is ingraining in them that they can trust her and that she will take care of them and protect them. Whether they are going to remember it or not, I think that they're still at least mentally registering it. That's going to be stored at them forever subconsciously.

I hope you're right, and I think you're ultimately right, obviously, But there is this sense of me when I when I think about my childhood and how much I did not appreciate my parents until I was older and could really understand the concept of a parent child relationship. I just wish I knew that early on, because I felt

so bad. One thing, one thing I've always questioned and started to detract from the topic at hand here, But I've always I'll always like, see, uh, like parents bring like their one or two year old child to like Disneyland or like on a expensive tropical vacation, and I'm like, well, what, what like they're not gonna remember that? What do we know? Like it's not even fun for them. You know, it's loud, it's hot, it's like they're probably complaining and whining the

whole time. I just that's one thing that I haven't really I can't go to dinner because you have the kids, Like it's like a twenty five minute limit before they start crying. So it's like you gotta go in, you gotta order, eat and get the hell out. Robin, what's your take on this? We would love to hear a lot of takes on this. Well, I have a seventeen year old, so I so get it. Um those vacations

for ust of all those are for the parents. And I mean, let's be real, like, is it a two year old that they don't know we took my son on a cruise when he was I don't even know, you know, tennis, maybe less he remembers he went on a cruise, but he has no idea like where we went, you know, or which is kind of okay with me because I wanted to go. So it depends our affectation, you know. But I think, you know, you raise an

interesting conversation around us. And I know we're talking about love, but the whole idea of a mench comes up for me as well as a parent in terms of raising one. You know, our our mention is born or bread. And I grapple with this a lot because I think it's interesting when a parent has the wherewithal to be conscious of modeling menshood, you know, for their child. But what if they don't, and then someone is raised and they're not exposed to that. Can they then segue from that?

As you said earlier, you know, to become that mench and would men should be even on their radar having that come from that background. I remember a while ago, and the statistic is probably outdated and probably even wrong, but I remember reading it. It said, uh that like i Q is hereditary, which means sixty of it is what you gain throughout life experiences, et cetera. Which I imagine most characteristics that we embody and embolden are hereditary taught.

And so when you say, you know, is it born or bread that I imagine that at least the majority of it has to be bred. Like if you're a really good parent and you're like a stand up citizen, model citizen, uh, your child will see that and then hopefully incorporated into their life and be a mention much earlier on than most other children would be. Right. That's kind of my take on it at least. Yeah, I think so, And for me that's been really important within

raising my son. He's actually volunteer firefighter and he's just seventeen, so I sort of feel like we did the mention thing, you know, and in that way that he's very community minded. So you would call your seventeen year old to mench Oh, yeah, he's a managed good job. But even mentions aren't perfect, you know. Let me nobody is no mentor schmuck is

perfect or imperfect to that batter. Uh So, Robin, I just wanted to ask one more question before we let you go, And I want to ask about the current state of the world the pandemic, because this has changed I think the dating game for a lot of different ways. Um, you know, we're living in the most isolated, lonely time, uh, at least in my lifetime. So I want to ask you, as a love coach, how has love and relationships changed

during the pandemic. And if somebody's single out there, what are some of the things that you think they can do to fight that loneliness if they're unable to really meet up with people in person. Yeah, well, I love that and I'd love to live your leave your listeners with the notion that this doesn't have to be wasted time. And I know you know, I've actually been working with quite a number of love coaching clients during this time.

I do one on one consults and it's you know, the main thing that's come up is what can I do now? And I think it's an amazing time to connect virtually in a really quality way with people. And I've been doing all kinds of zooms, whether it's do a networking group. Um, you have this new clubhouse app that everyone's you know, hot for. People are connecting on their even connecting on Facebook and linked in Instagram in

more heartfelt ways. You might have all these friends on there, but reach out to people individually and see you fail zooms if they want to do with chat. I've been finding people much more willing, much more available during this time, so I think it's a great opportunity to really avail yourself of that. Take some online classes where you're in the zoom room and you get to chat with people in there too, because that can lead to relationship building

and eventually you can be when it feels safe. So I think keep the faith and really, you know, sees this moment to make new friends, even if it's virtual. Because I've had a lot of success actually, during this time, I know I've connected with people that I probably would not have ever connected with prior to the pandemic. So that's a big upside. Yeah. No, I think that's great

advice and I love that. I hope listeners take it to heart because I told myself I was going to write a movie script during this time, and I've gotten about three lines done. So don't be like me in that sense, get stuff done. We have the opportunity to do it. So Robin, thank you so much for joining us.

We really appreciate it. Once again, everybody listening, go check out Robin Gorman Newman's brand new book How to Marry a mention The Love Coaches Guide to Meeting Your Mate, which of course is on Amazon, and make sure check out her website, love coach dot com. Robin, once again, thank you so much for joining us. Oh my pleasure. I'm happy early Valentine's data. Everybody thank you as well. All right, we are back for everyone. Well for my

favorite segment. I don't know if it's everyone's. I guess emails listener emails before we jump into them. I always love to remind you guys, email us, please your stories, your your scenarios, your hilarious jokes, even I don't know, I don't care. I just love getting emails. I second dating at I heart media dot com. Email us, Uh, if you need advice anything like that. We're gonna bring

Mark in. We got two emails for you today. We're gonna try and power through him as quickly, well not as quickly as we can, because you know, we want to drag this out for as long as possible. But I think Mark's got places to be, He's got something. Oh Mark's gone, so you know what where it's gonna have. Let's see maybe Becky Riley or Eastern the Voice of God, Come on, baby, that's right, I am the voice of God. Thank you for recognizing um. This first one is from Melissa.

How do I navigate my two year relationship with my boyfriend when I have a huge issue with this brother? With all the major events that have happened in we've definitely had a lot of major discussions in regards to race, religion, Black lives matter, Blue lives matter. His comments offend me. I've discussed this with my boyfriend and he sort of excuses it by saying, that's just the way it is. I never take anything he says seriously, but it's harder

for me to sweep it under the rug. I wouldn't want to end my relationship just because I don't like one of his brothers, But how do I manage my feelings going forward? My boyfriend said he would talk to him privately in that way you don't feel uncomfortable around him. But I've told my boyfriend not to because I don't want to cause drama. So what do we tell Melissa?

I think what we tell Melissa is, well, you're not dating his brother, so it's like he might have a different viewpoint of view, but it's not like that's the person that you're dating potentially gonna spend the rest of your life with. So as much of a maybe like a I don't want to say nuisance, I don't want to like belittle, uh, the differences and opinions here, But as much of any convenience or whatever it is for you, it's not like that's the person that you're choosing to date.

You know, So as long as your boyfriend shares the same ideals and you're comfortable with what he believes, I think that's the most important thing. Um, what do you

guys think, yeah, I I totally agree. You're not dating the boy the brother like, yeah, I just you might have to put up with it around the holidays and stuff like that, and you two just might have to, you know, put your differences aside and realize that you know your family and you're married to his brother, and you know you when you see each other, you have to be cordial and not talk politics. I mean, I I it seems like the boyfriend is doing everything he

possibly can. He said, you know, he's he's trying to make Melissa comfortable, and he said that he talked to his brother. So I think that at the end of the day, Melissa, the best thing moving forward is for you to not talk politics around her brother, around his brother, And then maybe it's good for Melissa, your boyfriend to talk to his brother and just say, hey, listen, Melissa has a different viewpoint. Let's just not talk politics when

we're together. I mean, the cornerstone to any successful relationship are in laws with which you fundamentally disagree. So I think you're you're in for You're in for a strong relationship there, Melissa. Don't don't worry about it. Uh, let's see one more here. This is from NICKI do you think that if you were in high school at the same time as your partner, would you guys have dated? Why or why not? Jared, I'll let you take the lead on this one. Damn, that's a great question, I think. So.

I think I would have dated Ash back in high school. Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I she would have liked me post junior year, most likely senior year. I think Ash would have started liking me because that's when I started coming into my own and starting I felt like I kind of looked like a good looking high school kid back then. Senior year. Before that, I was fat, So I think she would have started liking

the senior year. And I think Ash's personality she would have been the cool girl in school, so I would have been attracted to her. Uh. And I've seen pictures of Ash in high school lots of makeup, which I thought was the hottest thing when I was a teenager, So I think I would have really liked her. Good answer, Good answer. Uh. I think that Caitlin and I probably

would not have dated in high school. I think when I was in high school, uh, and even in college I really like like the tomboy ish type girls like the the the athletes. Contrary to Jared, I I did not, like still don't like makeup, but especially then, and I know that Klin, uh you know, she was in pageants back then. I just don't think it would have necessarily

been someone I would have gravitated towards. I also know that Klin is a bit of an introvert, and I think back then, especially I would sometimes like lean on my partner or my girlfriend to be the extrovert of the relationship, to kind of like be the center of attention at times. And uh, for those reasons, I don't think I would have necessarily pursued her in high school. Yeah, you know what's funny, I don't think I have a type?

Do you think you have a type? I thought I did, but before I started in Klin, I would have said my type with something completely different, So I guess I don't either. What do you think? It kind of goes back to what Robin was saying, though, It's like, well, sorry to interrupt Easton, but like you know, if you if you do something so many times and it keeps failing and failing, then maybe you should switch it up and try something different. I have a type and it's

gigantic asses. That's my type. And bootygether. Yeah, and that's why you're such a big CARDI beef. It's it's true. It's true, and it's it's the only reason I married my wife, the only reason, and it's worked out for you. You know. Well, I'm thinking about all my crushes in high school or my crushes since, and they are all wildly different. Some booties, some not booties is some athletes, some like very quaint type girls. I don't know. I mean,

booties are great. That's a nice little checklist to have. He said, I'm gonna be completely honest with you. Out of respect for you. I've never even looked at your wife's but so, uh, you know, I'm glad that you can come on this podcast and admit that. Well. I appreciate that. I would have no problem if you did. But I also appreciate you, you know, respecting her for her personality in her mind, because that's something that I should probably do more often. It's very smart and she's

very hard working. Is that why you and I are such good friends? You think because you like my big old caboose it is it is. You know, I've I've checked it out many times and you got a nice your double cheeked off you know, and I appreciate that. Well. I don't know why we're friends then, because I got a tiny one, very flat back there. I mean, it's come along a little bit. I've been doing more squats over the past year. But still, you know, it's not not anything you know right home about I see a

lot of potential. Do you want what else is not to write home about the derailing of this podcast. We're about the last hundred and twenty seconds. So because of that, let's just go ahead and wrap it up. Let's we're unraveling. Let's go ahead and rewravel it back up, Wrap it up, call it a day, call it a week. Big thank you to the listeners, the big thank you tor emailers again, I second dating at iHeart media dot Com. To both

Melissa and Nikki. We hope that we, uh, we're able to accurately answer your questions for you, of course, Big thank you to our guest Robin Gorman Newman. Be sure to check out her book How to Marry a Mention The Love Coaches Guide to Meeting your mate or check out her website www dot love coach dot com. Um, what else shared anything else? Before we want? Yeah, I just want to say one thing. This podcast comes out Sunday night, but we recorded before Sunday. So go Bucks,

Go Baby, Let's go Tommy, Tommy, Bernnie. I will say before we leave, I do think I'm gonna place a big, big wager on the Bucks to win. I think the Bucks are gonna win, and they're underdogs. They're like a plus one thirty right now. Yeah, there are three and a half points three and I think three or three and a half point underdogs. So it's tight, but it's gonna be a good game. Brady mahomes Tom and his tense super Well, let's go. I was actually gonna ask you if you could send me like a like a

Bucks jersey, your shirt to wear. Um, but I've got to be asking too much. No, no, no no, no, I actually I have one that you can wear, no, no joke. I might come pick it up tomorrow that if that's okay. Yeah, we'll be around. I haven't seen you any year, so you should definitely stop. We'll we'll keep socially distant, of course, but but yeah, that'll do it. Go Bucks, Go. What was the shirt that you got today? Something about like mud? You got like a shirt you unwrapped it on your

Instagram story. Oh there were Tampa shirts. There's two of them. One was yes we canon fire the Cannons uh and then the other one was bucks don't stop. That might be the shirt you're wearing right there, Bucks, Bucks don't stop. That's what I'm thinking of. All right, we'll go Bucks. If the Chiefs win, that's back to back either way. It's a historic super Bowl, which is gonna be a fun one to watch. I hope you guys are enjoying

the Super Bowl weekend. Hopefully do it responsibly and be sure to tune in next week where maybe we all suck just a little bit less. Follow hell by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast