Long in the Front, Short in the Back

with you? Like the haircut? What's going on with the haircut right now? What? Well? I mean obviously I've had hair, but like it looks good, you just haven't styled it this morning. Maybe that's so I definitely have not styled it. I have had hair right now. Uh, dude, No, My barber is awesome. His name is Caleb. He does such a great job as so as I put a little jel in this thing, it's gonna be fire. So do you prefer yourself with law or short hair? I'm going

my hair back out. I realized I'm a long hair person now, so I feel naked without long hair, I definitely feel the same one. You kind of look like a little bit of Sean Hunter right now. That's like your hair and Jude, I'm digging the like that's the

exact same thing. It's I'm in this weird, awkward phase where the hair on my top of my head is really long and the hair on the side of my heads is like short but like getting long, and I don't have any other options other than to just like push it back like this, So I'm going to boy meets World. Yeah, and you should put a leather like an oversized leather jacket on baggy pants with like the silver chain that's a belt but also like hangs down

by the side. Bro. Well, when I was dogging you for your hair style, I thought you were gonna come back strong and make fun of mine. So I mean, hey, I appreciate the no. I like it's a bit compliment. I've decided that I think I'm a short hair guy now. I think I've decided, like, I think that's just my move for the foreseeable future, because Dude, I miss my long hair hair, but I miss my long hair because I miss being And I feel like you can relate

to this like unconventional. You know, I don't want to be the guy that just traditionally has short hair. Yeah, I want something different. But now you know, I'm a dad, I'm a business owner. I you know, I feel like I look more cleaned up with short hair. I think it's just time. Man. I think I'm in that stage of my life. I'm thirty three years old. I'm just

the short hair guy. Now. Yeah, I get that, especially for you, you got your dad, Like you said, business owner, you kind have long hair work in the restaurant because it's like, you know, you're getting hairs and people's coffees and stuff. No one wants that, even like dude, when I walked up with like when we first open and I was just working a hundred hours, so I would

look disgusting. I'd have my long hair, my backwards hat, my sweatshirt on, and I would have filth all over my jeans because I'm just like cooking and doing making washing dishes, do whenever I need to do. And I'd go out and i'd be like, yeah, I'm the owner. High nice to meet you. And they're like oh hello, and I'm like, well, you know, it's just I'm grinding.

I'm grinding here. So I was like, I got talking at they like pull the waiters out and they're like, hey, some homeless man is in here saying he's the owner of the restaurant. Um, excuse me, could you get security to escort that gentleman away with the long hair? The other I I saw a video I went golfing with Wells and Ben like in February of this year. So what is that like three months ago? And um, they

took a video, I mean one of the holes. And this was like right after I had just gotten a haircut like that, you know, this classic guy's haircut right now where it's like the high and tight and then you got all that length on top to style it

however you want. And I saw the hair I watched the video back and I saw like my haircut under my hat, and I was like this, this, this haircut does not suit me in the slightest because a I uh, you know, like you said, I like to maybe at least pretend like I'm a little more unconventional and be I've put on a lot of weight, and short hair really tends to accentuate the weight gain, Like in the face and stuff, and so I had, you know, and

I had body. It's more for you to do begin with. Like, even when I was in peak physical condition for myself, I thought that I look like dog crap. So um, it's only gone downhill from there. And Caitln Halen gives me crap for it all the time. But I saw I watched the video and I had this big, you know, uh, cumbersome lower body, and I was like, oh, you look so fat. And I looked up at my head and I had this like tight little hair cut and I was like, those things just don't match up very well.

And so ever since I saw the video, I haven't cut my hair since, and I don't plan on cutting my hair for there's forty years, maybe fifty years. So hides. One, you don't look like you've gained anyway, but two, I feel you because I have the same body. It's this warfare of man where I like, I try I've had always I've always like liked long hair because I like hiding my features because I feel like I look better

when I'm hidden. But now I think I'm just in the stage where it's like this is just like I can't this is this is it, This is it. This is the guy that I am. You know, short hair and all, but you are you are you are At least I would say you're You're built, you put together a little bit better than me, you know what I mean. I don't know if i'd say that. I mean, dude, I saw you know what's funny you're talking about how you saw a picture of yourself. I did the same thing.

It was the first time I went golfing all year, Just like a week and a half ago. I played nine holes of a buddy of mine. He took a picture on the first hold of me swinging because he's like first time out, and I was like, bro, I gotta like I have a little belly. I got a little belly. And it's like, foule a man can't say the real word on here because they'll get edited out.

I'm like, damn, man, just I don't have time to work out as much as I have and did I work in a coffee shop, so it's like I'm hungry, bro, I just grab a blueberry muffin, scarf it down and and then like that's my day. I'd be eating all day, especially the pastries. I remember not even not even recently, like two years ago, maybe like even a little bit more than that. I was at the beach with a

bunch of our friends and Nick was there. Uh and Nick is, you know, incredible shape, especially for a fifty year old man, um and five now. But he looks over at me and we're all shirtlets, just like hanging on the beach. I just like like laying back, relaxing on the towel and you know, playing some beeble outside of my school now. Uh. And he sees me and he looks me up and down and he goes, are

you ever gonna get back in shape again? And this was two and a half years ago, back when I was like not in good shape, but I was in better shape than I am now. And so it's just it's just gets to or us every single day. But such as life, I guess, such as what's going on? Such? Well such as life is that my wife is just like coming in or not? Yes, of course, So you need to sign this. Okay, I'm signing it right now again. Alright, alright,

I'm the house. Well, so here's the thing. We want to move closer to the coffee shop, Like we talked about on the podcast before we're about thirty five for a minutes away. We found a place that would love. It's a condo. This morning we fell in love with the we you know, we put a bit into a house. We've seen like probably I don't know, ten twelve houses

at this point. We saw one like a month ago that we loved, put an offer in, we got out bit buy a lot, and it was like, oh my god, we're never buying a house because of the market so crazy right now, like we can't pay for a house that's just obscene or obscenely over priced. But we found a condo this morning. It's relatively in our price point and we put a like a like a verbal offer

in and they're like, we're probably gonna accept that. So now we're like, again, everything we need to get done immediately, try to get this offer wrapped up, because dude, if we get this place, it's freaking awesome. It's great. It's literally four minutes from the shop. It's in South Kingstown, which is beautiful part of Rhode Island. It's just like everything we want. So now actually it's like, you know, doing the wife thing and just make it chere alright.

Signed signed three times. Anyway, that's what my life is right now. But I was going to didn't. You guys just went, let's let's focus on the house thing for a second, and you guys just like buying the house out there recently back in December. Yeah, so we bought a house, like I said, in a place called West Granders, Rhode Island, which is a little bit out there. It's woodsy. But the reason we did that was because the housing

markets so crazy right now. Where we wanted to buy, which is in southern Rhode Island, was too crazy and way too overpriced. And you know, we're talking about properties that are good properties, but like we're paying way more. So we're like, okay, well we need to look in other places so we can pay for something that we feel like our money is is going into. That's well, So we found a house that really liked, ended up buying it in December, and it's a well, like I said,

thirty five minutes from the shop. And we're like, oh, it's fine, I don't mind commuting, so on and so forth. Yeah, so we're like, whatever, it's fine, we're used to commute. Having said that, now that I'm at the shop, constantly, you know, six times a week, at least sixty hours a week, especially with Dawson here. Now, it's just impossible she's here alone all the time. It is very much I'm not gonna say it's in the middle of nowhere, but it's not a very populated area, so you know,

it's a little nerve wreaking a night. Sometimes I don't get home to like one in the morning because I'm closing up and I'm just not spending as much time with Dawson as I want to. So if we moved to a place closer, I'd be able to bounce back and forth much easier than I in multiple times exactly where I can't bounce back forth right now because it's

you know, forty minutes each way. Are gonna do about your careent house, we would sell it, even though you just bought it six months ago, I know, but you know, I mean, we trust me. Ashley and I have had many conversations. It was like, Okay, either we stick to this house and be like, all right, let's just try to ride it out for the next couple of years and see how it goes, or we just bite the bullet right now, try to figure out the best deal we can possibly get, move on from it, you know,

I know it's gonna suck. Just move over, you know, move again, and then I think increase our quality of life, you know, in the short term. So that's the decision we decided to go in and and if we get

this place today, that would work out really well. Would you guys be able to like rent it and then like still build equity in that house and then just buy the new house and then living that one, you know, Well, what we're gonna try to do is potentially um sell this by the new property and then in a couple years if we end up building or you know, hopefully doing something like because this is it's a condo and be our forever home, but like it's great for the

next few years. But if we do move in our forever home in like four years, maybe if we're okay to keep the condo, rent that out and build more equity that way rather than having two properties right now. And it's we don't really like that. I don't think this place could be really that much of a renting. Yeah, it's not renting, it's just like two family owned. It's you'd have to see it, and you'd be like, no one's gonna rent here because it's like, um, it would

be like a single family. It's just kind of the moonious. There's nothing like to rent, you know what I mean, because if you rent, you want to be around places, so it's easier and convenient. Like that's the whole point of renting, right, it's convenient. There's nothing convenient about this location. All right, Well here I'm on Zillo right now for North Kingstown, Rhode Island. There's some good options here. Let's see three bed, three bath square feet seven fifty thousand dollars, Like,

that's a good deal. Um, let's see two bed, three bath, two thousand square feet six hundred fifty thousand how much? Yeah, that's probably you know, there's a lot of like colonials that are probably built like the eighteen or early nineteen hundreds, which is a very great character. I'm sure there are many ghosts in there, which would be the ghosts, but a lot of a lot of coreokie floorboards to so

many creeks and cracks. But that's I mean, that's that's a that's big news though, because I mean, obviously buying a house is a big deal. Hopefully you guys get it. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope a sense of positive us your way. Appreciate it. Put it into the universe, baby, yeah, put it in the universe. That's I mean, I don't envy that you guys have to move all your crap over again. That's always a big, big bummer. But Dawson's first move. Dawson's going on his

first plane later on today. We're gonna see how that goes as well. We're flying out where Virginia, so it's an hour so it's just up and down pretty quick, which is nice. So it's a nice little tester. So we're gonna, like we have it kind of planned out. Ashley's gonna sit in the window seat. I'm going to sit in the passenger side seats. She'll have Dawson, and as soon as like we start taxing, she's gonna give

him a bottle. Like, so we'll have a bottle about two hours before that before we get to the airport. As soon as we board, sit down, get comfy, start taxing, give him a bottle, and then hopefully we ride this hour through and he's just conked out. Nice, I mean, that'll be that'll be fun. I always love sitting next to the babies on the airplane, So hopefully, guys, I don't have anyone sitting next to you. Do you guys have any big travel plans coming up at all or

anything besides Virginia? Uh, you know, we're you know, man, we're a couple of travel plans. You know we're going, Uh, we have a wedding in San Francisco later this month. Yeah, so we're going to the West coast, and you never know, you never know what's gonna pop up, man, So we'll see west coast to the US coast to USA, West coast, USA. That's right, yes, yes, so we'll see, man, we'll see

what happens. And uh, I'm sure it will certainly keep you up to date on everything that happens in our lives. I appreciate that. When's the wedding in San franc let's go late June, so something like that somewhere in there. But it's one of her friends and that was actually I don't know if you remember Briar. She was one of the bride'smaids. Who did she walk down the aisle with? Chad? Yeah,

Chad she's getting married. So she's getting married. Yeah, she proposed to her to her fiance, yeahfrid and her fiance is a man, yes, yeah, so she proposed to him. Why didn't Rob propose? I know that they were like back and forth on this. He wanted to didn't he here speaking to the mic. One night they were like out drunk and she was like, you know, one day I'm going to propose to you. And then he said, oh, are you? And then he's like I want to hold

you to that. And that was early on in them dating, and then he kind of kept holding it against her. He was like, you know, I would have proposed to you, but you said that you were the one who wanted to do. It's going to be waiting for that moment. Was there some big story for it or like or a big moment like leading up to the engagement. She

actually did it really cute. It's like right before they did Thanksgiving together, it was just gonna be the two of them for this Thanksgiving and she lit like the whole kitchen and family room area up with candles and had pictures and stuff all laid out from their relationship, like a whole timeline thing. It was really cute. That's really cute. I've got a question for you guys now that I have you here, Ashley, So, you guys got engaged obviously on Bachelor in paradise Um, which is not

how most people see their proposal going. Has there ever been any discussion of like reproposing in a more like intimate or personal way? No, would you even want that? No? I sometimes think that like second proposals are kind of weird. I think the second proposers are fine for like what Jojo and Jordan did. I think that actually made a lot of sense for them. He had a new ring, and why did he have a new ring? She didn't

like hers? She may have been over hers. Well, it's also different on Bachelor because you're like, hey, here are the three you choose? Yeah, right right, So that was more like a more personal ring. And then also I think that it was just like them really deciding this was like this is not a bachelor move. This is like us actually gonna gage after us feeling so confident in our relationship. Because the two of them like definitely

had a very difficult first year. They say, oh yeah, they were like on the verge of breaking up once I feel like there's a lot of bachelor couples that have a very tough first year because you leave the experience and then it's like, oh, okay, now we have to go to Shaws together and groceries have to watch this season backs all these boys. I've got a question

for you actually, while I got you here too, um. So, Caylin has been sending me engagement rings that she wants, and she sent me a four and a quarter carrot emerald cut diamond ring, um, which is not very sure. It's not cheap, and I don't even know yours like a quarter, it's a carrot. I think it's more than a carrot. It's it's like a pretty good rock. But it's a good ring. I don't know. I'm not a

very much rememvery knowledge of all this stuff. Sorry, I intered, how do I how do I take Caylin up here, um and just gently place her on a significantly lower carrot? You know? Well, you know what they say, You're supposed to spend three months salary on a ring. That's great. I would spend zero dollars on it then, because I haven't made money in like six months. You're such a dean.

You're such a dean. M No, perfect, Let go right there. Actually, I'll say that for I think that the ring is such a big deal and so exciting before you're engaged, and then when you're a couple of years into marriage, you're like, oh, it really doesn't matter, Like I honestly would have been, I'd be happy with with anything. I love my ring, but as long as there's a symbol

on my finger that I'm married, that's all that really matters. Well, So we went into the jewelry store to like look at stuff and like figure out what she wanted, and I like, through it such a big kissy fit when we got in there too, because that's exactly what I would say. And I was like, I don't even want to be in here right now. I don't care what I'm wearing on my finger, blah blah blah. Like that was my logic, and she was she because you know,

Klin loves her jewelry and stuff too. So we had like a bit of a scuffle a couple of weeks ago over it. But I don't know, it's such a touchy subject. Especially here's my thing with it too. Klin makes significantly more money than I do. And yet here I am having to spend all this money on an engagement ring that I don't even want, Like I want her to get what she wants, but she's the one that wants to get married. Yet here I am having to spend the money to make this big statement for

her for something that she wants. And I get it, but like it's still it's a you know, yes, Bush, that's what it is. Um, I had a point to make it. Let me say this, if you ever did propose, which you probably will at some point, I think the act of you proposing is going to be so much more significant to her than the ring itself. Well, I would love to believe that, but I don't know if that's really I mean, she would, she would, She doesn't care, but she does, Carol, she I mean she cares a

little bit. Like, don't get her a popsicle ring, but if you got her any diamond ring that you even think the shape is actually pretty important quote quote you know, and then you're something like personalized, like something that you put thought into, Like you know, I made a deal with her. I was like, I'll buy you this engagement ring if you buy me a truck because I really want a truck right now. Um, so that's like our Okay, I just always wanted to Toyota Tacoma, and I think

it would be cool to have one. So the truck and ring is about the same price. This guy, he's Dean, is like the most. Oh, I'm against conventional wisdom. I don't like doing what other people like doing. I'm going to buy a house in Vegas. We're going to rent an lay now, dude, I'm domesticated as these days, there's a lot of I'm buying this for her, she's buying this for me, which raises the big question, how are you going to deal with finances when you're married? I mean,

we basically are married at this point. We've got a joint bank account and stuff. Okay, so then why do you say it's her money, my money, my gift, her gift, because we still have our separate accounts, Like I've got my personal account and she's got her personal account, and we've got a joint account that we both put money into for like house stuff. Um, but you're right, I mean I don't I don't know exactly how to how

to answer that question. Do we still do the same thing even when we're married, like because you make more money than me, and I still feel your self conscious because I'm like, well, I don't want to also know that we consider our money this. Yeah, but I think a good example is Audrey's, Like I, you have not given any of your money towards Audrey's, like something that you wanted, you want exactly, and we think about it

like that account. We don't use that account for that for Audrey's own separate thing, but but we put your money. You put our money into Audrey's. But like from Mike in a way that it made us feel better. Yeah, I guess it's all natural. It's all kind of meant like her account. Like from the beginning, it was like I'm only going to when we invest in Audrey's and have to invest so much money to start this thing, like I'm only going to do it from my bank account.

We're not going to touch yours because we want to keep in mind for like all the big future things. When I file for chapter eleven, we're fine, But that's okay. So that beckons the question too. It's like when we so whenever we do anything for our house that we own, we split fifty fifty because you know, let's say we sell the house in five years, we want to be able to split the profit. Just this kind of makes

it clean and simple. Let's say Audrey's, Um, I don't know, someone wants to buy it for a million dollars or whatever it is. But you're Jared. You're the only one that put money into it. Do you just take all that money and then put it in the joint account or do you like how do you like? How do you divvy it up? Is the big question. You don't technically have a joint account, um, so it would go back into his account. That's just how we would do it.

But like, I'm not forcing any split, so so the money is also mine just like just you know, like he's the guy at the business. You know, he's there every day, he does everything on the business end. I throw him a couple of bullet pointed emails every now and then. And I'm still co owner and she's the absentee owner that comes in once a week, and it's like, why is that like that? Why don't we do this?

And it's like all right, listen, lady, Like why don't you come in work a twelve hour shift and then come talk to me. But listen, look what I added to the menu this week. Spiked root beer floats. Come on, now, that is a contribution. You're the talent wrangler because you're trying to get some people out to Rhode Island. For some that was always going to be like my thing. Yes, yeah, speaking of that. When October a busy summer and the last we can tune, he apparently can't make it to

Rhode Island October. Well, I'm going to be in the Middle East for a month and a half. Slack. Well, that's fair. Where you guys going, I'm going by myself to Pakistan. You're going to Pakistan by yourself? Why? What? What? What drove you to this? Decis over? If you need me again, I'll be packing, thanks ashya Um. Yeah, I'm going in August, August to September, maybe longer. I'm just going on a big backpacking excursion through the Himalayas. Damn. Yeah. So I'm gonna be gone for a while, but I

could probably still record the podcast. Maybe, I don't know. You might have to step in for a couple of weeks. But oh uh are one of our producers goes Americans hiking in Pakistan always ends up great, always ends up great. Well, Tommy called well one out there and he he made it out fine. I don't know if it was Pakistan where he was, but who did Tommy called it? We all you ever hear that story know what happened. He's like one of the best rock climbers in the world

right now. And when he was like a seventeen year old teenager, him and a couple of friends went on a climbing trip. I think it was Pakistan, or it it could have been like Irane or something like that. Uh, And they were climbing in the mountains for like a few weeks and they were confronted by like a local militia and taking hostage as like seventeen year old kids American kids. And they were like hostage for like six days.

And then on one day, the guy that was holding him captive like got really close to one of the cliff sides and that Tommy ran up and shoved him off the cliff. Yeah, and then they ran away and we're eventually like left and made it to America. And then to make it even more insanes somehow they found out like years later that the guy that they shoved off the cliffs survived and I don't know what happened after that, but it's a pretty crazy story. You should

check it out. It's uh, it's pretty interesting. You you learn a lot about it on this documentary called The Don Wall. It's like pret solo, but just like a different, different guy climbing. But hopefully it doesn't happen. I don't think it will. Well, I'm confused. So when you're held hostage and then you push a guy off a cliff and you just run, how do you escape Pakistan and get back in the United States. Yeah, I don't know what you would do. Maybe find like the American consulate

and you have to go from there. Dude, that's terrifying. So wait a minute. So you guys are backpacking, like, are you gonna have cell phones? Are you gonna have any contact? I don't know. I don't know if I'll have cellphones. We're going to the base of K two, which is like the third tallest bount in the world, so I don't think we'll have much service out there. How does feel about this? She's not She's talked about it. I can't imagine she wouldn't be she's happy I'm doing

what I want to do. But she I was like, I'm going to Pakistan in August, and he goes, You're going where, and I was like, look at Like, I know, Pakistan. It's got a you know, maybe a bit of a rough reputation from like the early two thousand's, but it's really done a lot for itself in the past decade or so, and it's pretty relatively safe. I'm sure it has. But just like anywhere in the world, I'm sure that

has its bad parts. My concern for you would be the fact that you have no you know, it's just you guys. So it's like if something goes wrong, I know. And he's telling me the story about this guy like twenty years ago who's pretty much doing the same thing that they're doing, and he got held hostage by a local tribe and then he ended up in order to escape, this guy while like one of the people holding him hostage had his back turned next to a cliff. He

pushed him off the cliff and they ran pushed him off. No, it's not let's not put that in the university. Very safe. If I make it back, I would love her A story like that to have happened to me, What a great story to have for your entire life. I don't want to get hurt or anything like that. But if I am I sured to make get back safely and one piece, I would love some some turmoil off. I mean it would definitely get some more listeners to this podcast.

I will say that. Uh, and that's what we need desperately. Yeah, speaking of stories, let's get to a couple of emails. But before we do that, let's take a quick break. All right, we are back, uh, and we're gonna wrap up with some emails as we do. I'll read the first one. Uh, it's from anonymous. We have to one from anonymous, one from Evans. I'll read Anonymous. I want to make one quick one quick note. It was Uzbekistan is where he was taking that Pakistan. Sorry, okay, okay, okay,

thank you, Vivian Clarity. I appreciate it. Are are thought. You know, we're You're still going to be in our thoughts for that entire moment. I have poor Kalin, she's gonna be so stressed anyway. This is from Anonymous. My boyfriend of five and a half years broke up with me less than a week ago. We started dating in college when we were nineteen, and now we're We lived

together in Los Angeles for almost three years. He completely blindsided me and said that we grew apart have different interests and priorities now and he feels like he doesn't know who he is since we've been together for our whole adult lives. I've always had issues with his lack of communication and inability to show affection or be verbally affirmative.

I've always thought it was something he would change eventually, since we talked about it all the time, and for a while, I thought I would be the one to end things if he couldn't change those things. Now I moved out and I'm living with my parents. I just need help learning how to live without him, bounce back, and really just get over this devastating breakup. Any advice

you have would be great. Mm hmmm um. I uned out for a second, So I'll let you answer the question person, and then I'll try to piece it together with context clues. Michael Peters crashing on me. I'm trying to see anyway, Anonymous, given that the l d R of what what we just heard? Uh, this person was dating someone for five and a half years. They broke up. They her boyfriend broke up with her less than a

week ago. Um. Apparently he was the one throughout their lives, throughout the relationship who had difficulty like showing affection or being verbally affirmative. Then she thought like, if that didn't change, she would have to break up with him. But then he ended up breaking up with her, and now she's devastated. We had to move back with her parents. She wants

advice how do I move on? Um? And apparently, uh that that the the reason why he broke up with her, was saying that not only they grew apart, but he feels like he doesn't know who he is without her because they've only been together for their whole adult lives and he wants to experience different things. Got you, well, what a what a great time to be alive because now you get a chance to figure out exactly who

you are by yourself. I think, Uh, I think one of the worst things you can do for yourself is get lose your identity in a relationship, right or Like, it doesn't matter if it's a romantic relationship or a friend or your parents, because then you have no sense of identity, You have no idea who you are, what you like by yourself. That's why I always advocate for calin for instance, travel alone, because you learned so much about yourself when you're alone and are forced to do

things only that you want to do. Because when you're living with a partner, traveling with a partner, you're always taking their wants and needs into consideration, and you know you take yours in a conservation too, but you're always doing what's best for the group. And so when you're by yourself, you really starts to better understand exactly what's best for you. So I think it's a good thing. Yeah, I mean, I agree with Dean. I think first, of course,

it sucks. Nobody wants to get broken up with you got blindsided, your heartbroken. It sucks you guys been do there for five and a half years. That's a long ast time. I remember when my relationship ended after four years and uh god, you know what I mean, it feels like you're married at that point. So I do agree with Dean that this could be a door opening rather than a door closing, especially you're so young, you're twenty five. I mean, I actually has the same sediment

that um, you know you sedimentary rock. Yes, that like, you enjoy this time alone, use your late twenties to not I don't want to say experiment, but like to enjoy yourself be alone because hopefully you will find someone else, and hopefully the next person that you do end up dating is someone that you get married to and spend the rest of your life with. So for now, this is a really great opportunity to focus on yourself. Do things you never would normally do when you were in

a relationship. Travel, go to different places if you want to, um, Summer's coming up, you know, hot girl, summer, girl, summer. Just also try to look at the bright side of things when you're that age. A little bit less when you get in your mid twenties, but you always feel like every relationship is like the most important relationship of your life. And then you get a little bit older, a little more perspective, and you start to realize that it's never as big of a deal as it seems

like it is in the moment. You know, I couldn't agree more. Dude. I remember when I was like twelve and this girl they want to David and I was like, dad, I'm never gonna find another girl like her, and probably because I had like, like we talked about body dyspor dysmorphia and it was a little chubby as I was like, dude,

no girl's gonna ever like me. But then I got very lucky, so um, yeah, I listen, Anonymous, I agree, it sucks and it's really difficult, and I'm not trying to belittle your pain right now, but I agree with Dean and saying, like, try to view this as an opportunity to do things that you wouldn't normally do and to explore new options, and that would be my advice.

And I think sometimes too, it's so easy, and listen, I suffer from this all the time, but like it's so easy to just like spiral out of control and then just like not want to leave your house and be depressed and be sad and feel bad for yourself, and you know, it's it's it's it's hard to get yourself out of that. And trust me, I do it all the time. Like I feel bad for myself all

the time. And then and then I realized, like, listen, the only person that's ever going to change in their life or is me like I'm the only person that's gonna be able to change my own life or my own mood or my own happiness. Like, yes, I rely on Ashley a lot, but at the end of the day, it's it's my decision. And so like it's weird to say, but you kind of have to put a little effort into being happy and then sometimes happiness just comes after

you do that. Beautiful and beautifully you said, I finally got the email pulled up, so I was just giving it for any other important notes that we might have missed. Um. But yeah, no, that's good advice. I think anonymous Okay, Nick Baile could really benefit from taking some of that to heart, especially in l A. You know, like you said, hawk Girl, summertime, I have a have a ball, hit the bungalow, hit water front. I don't know where else the kids go these days, but you get the picture.

What do you say we get to the next one we got Evan, Uh, do we want to read it or do we want to have Easton read it for us? If Easton's ready to go, let's have Eastern do it. Thank you for the invite, you guys. I I don't speak onless. I'm spoken to on this show, so I always wait for your invitation as as we needed to be existent. Don't speaking less bookn exactly. I mean there's

an order here. Okay, this is from Evan. I'm in a long term relationship and I don't know what's costing this, but I feel like I have no sex drive with my partner. My job is very time consuming and stressful, so I assume I'm just exhausted after a long day of work. But I'm not sure we have a great relationship. So I don't think it's her, but I need advice from another guy on how to get back at it in the bedroom. Mm hmm, tricky, tricky question. Well, go ahead.

I was gonna say, like a, you know, the older I get, the less sex drive I have, I know, actually laughing, but like it's just a listen, we're married. We can talk about these things, especially now, Dean. You and I have talked about this at length about how when we don't huh yeah, but like when we work a lot or we don't feel good about ourselves, there's times where it's like, man, I it's not even you, it's just me, Like I don't feel good, Like I

feel like I can't do what I want to do. Um, but I think one way that Ashley and I combat that because of course we have like it's exactly is that with like lingerie or exactly I like that, but but like light lingerie or you know, Ashley does a good job of like having incense in the room and like, you know, really you know, just like making it a mood and putting effort into it. And I know it's

ridiculous because let's first of all, it's not ridiculous. I apologize for saying that because that's not what I mean. It's not ridiculous to put effort into having sex with one another. That doesn't mean you don't love your partner. That doesn't mean that you're not attracted to your partner. But like if you have sex with one person for years and years and years, of course, yeah, it's gonna get stale. It's gonna get the same. Like that's just

what happens. There's nothing wrong with admitting that. Like, so many people go through this. I'd say the majority of couples go through this, and yet like if you talk about it, oh, something's wrong in your relationship. It's like no, nothing's wrong, Like it's just one of those things like you gotta change it up a little bit, you gotta do something different, And so that would be my advice.

Don't be afraid to try something different. To talk about this with your partner, talk about something that you like in the bedroom, something that you want to try. Like, I know, it's weird. I've had these conversations. Actually it's less weird when you're in the moment and like you're all amped up and ready to go, because then you just say things and then you know, of course, after you know the moment goes away, then you're like, wow, I can't believe I said that. Um, yeah, that was

that was really good advice. I'm in the same boat as you. I think for me personally, whenever I noticed my sex drive waning, it's always because IM not going to the gym enough. I have a really bad image of myself in my head, and I'm just like like, I don't know, I feel fat and gross and so like I don't want to have my fat and gross body on Kalen's sexy and pretty body, you know what

I mean. Like it really just step it steps For me personally, whenever we go through our like physical slumps, and I always try to make sure that Kalin knows that too. But at the end of the day, like if you're not doing anything to to make it better, like for for instance, like I can identify a problem, but I don't do anything to fix it, like that just kind of makes me seem like a piece of you know, so um. For me personally, it's like I gotta get back in the gym. I gotta start working out.

And also that does boost like your testosterone levels and ups your sex drive a little bit. So that's always my advice for not only myself but for other people that are going through the same situation. And what really does suck is like nowadays, uh, I don't want to say like media, but like society does tend to glorify like a sexual relationship where you should be having sex with your partner every day of every week, and that

just like it's unsustainable and probably impossible. Like I gotta say that there's no way I could do that once a day, like come on, and I'm talking to my friends about it too, Like I'll be I'll like go golf with my buddies and be like, oh yeah, we're you know, we're in a slump right now or whatever it is physically, and they'll be like, oh, dude, I couldn't imagine that. We're we can't get each other off

each other. We've been together for four years. I'm like, I just don't believe you, and I don't want you to. I don't want to keep lying to me about it. So I think a lot of people experience a similar thing. And for me personally, it just as a matter of self image, I guess. But Eastern, what about you, because you gotta be you guys, gotta be like rabbits over there. I can imagine. No, I mean we're you know, we're married for five years. Uh yeah, that these things have

been flow. Um My, my advice to Evan, I mean, like you guys said, I really think even if you can't like go to the gym or something, just going to walk around the block. I guarantee you will be horny after you go on that walk. I guarantee it. Just once get some sunshine in your face, get moving, especially everyone's working at home and sitting for twenty five hours a day. Uh, you just gotta get moving. I think that really helps. And um, yeah, I swear to God,

after one block you'll be rock hard Evan, I guarantee it. Wow. Okay, Well, um, I was gonna say we should maybe call it an episode, but I might go for a walk around the block real quick back and answer a couple more emails, so that's good advice, and in the same bay and just get out, get active and get the juices flowing. Or if none of that works, maybe take like, oh, I just saw Doug flute commercial where he has his testosterone boosting product. It's Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie exactly the

worst commercial ever made. Uh. But there's there's there's options out there to help if you want to be helped. Sometimes. I like, you know, if Kaitlin and I are in the ebbing stage, you know it's like okay to just take a break for a little bit and not have to worry about it, focus on your um like emotional connection rather than your physical connection. That's not a bad thing in my opinion. Um, But that's it for this week's episode. You guys, thank you so much for joining us.

I hope you weren't bored to death by the things that we discussed. But how could you. Is there a ghost in your house? Did you hear that something big just fell in the house on your alone? So I'm gonna let you say goodbye. I'm gonna take it. I see little Alistair matt I Moody, so you're not alone. He'll protect you. I'm gonna um, I'm gonna go see what's going on. Can you just say goodbye everyone for me? Please? Yeah? Do you want to take your camera with you in

case like something happens? We have video evidence of this. Well, thank you so much for sucky dat as. You guys are the best. Please keep the emails coming, of course. We are I suck at Dating at ihart media dot com. Follow us on Instagram. Help I suck at dating? Uh and tune in next week. We have a very special guest. We have the wonderful Dr le Beach coming in to visit us. Um and uh yeah sorry, this is the longest otter ever. Tune in next week. We're hopefully we

all suck just a little less hollow. Help by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast