Live (Virtually) on National Couples Day!

Please hopefully they don't knock up my van window at some point kicking out of the parking lot, because if they do, Jared, you might have to host the rest of this episode by yourself. But here we are Help I Suck It Dating virtual live event. And they said it couldn't be done, but we're making it happen. Oh. They told us we weren't allowed to have a live event in person, and so they waited until a pandemic for us to have a virtual one. And yet here

we are. Help I second data. I mean, we've been doing this podcast for what two years now, and this is our first live event. Thank you for everybody who is virtually joining us for our first ever live podcast. I can't agree more with Dean. I'm very nervous that we're just gonna screw this whole thing up, whether it's be a technical issue or we just say something that you know, gets us canceled. Uh uh. Now, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be super fun.

We have some great guests, obviously, Mike Johnson, Evan Bass, and Taylor Nolan. We also have a dating expert coming on later on the podcast. You guys can please ask us questions. I think that will be towards the later part of the podcast usually when we do emails instead, we're gonna answer your guys questions. It's gonna be a grand old time. I don't know how that phrase came to be, but I use it all the time. But Dean, how are you doing right now? Where are you? Um? Jared,

what's up? Man? And I'm doing well. I currently am uh somewhere near the south rim of the Grand Canyon. Kalen and I drove out here for a couple of days and it's, honestly kind of it's shocking how hard it is to find WiFi to steal around the Grand Canyon area. UM, I probably should have postponed this trip a couple of days and done it from Galen's apartment, But you know what, that's too easy. That's not how

we operate over here. So that's where I'm at. We already have a couple of people that are in the chat room, so we want to say hi to Martina, j and Becky. Thank you guys for being our only three listeners and fans that are in the chat right now. The lies that you as well. UM, I honestly, I don't think we can see how many people are listening to this love, so I'm just gonna go ahead and assume it's three million people. We have three million viewers right now, and we're not gonna want to I'm just

gonna go with like roughly seven thousand. But I like that you're in the seven. Yes, I don't know. For the listeners that are listening to this, we're watching this podcast. It's we're to sa watching this podcast because we always have to say listening. I hope you can recall the moment on Bachelor in Paradise this past season when I was talking to Calein and I said, under promise over deliver, and that's exactly what we're gonna do here. We're gonna

under promise. It's not gonna be a great podcast, but we're gonna over deliver and hopefully rock your freaking world. So we've been for two years. Yeah, yeah, well with some with some open room for debate there. Um, but yeah, Jared, you knowailed on the head man. It's like every time we record a podcast usually doesn't happen, but there are times where we're like, hey, could you like take that little snippet of me saying that stupid thing out of it?

And they're like, yeah, sure, no thing, no problem at all. But now, uh, whatever we say has to we just have to build as consequences of it will be held against us in the court of law. Um. Yeah, this is also like everybody watching this podcast, this is a good example of like the two people that you guys listen to on a weekly basis, Dean, what are you drinking right now? I found this local brewery here near

the Grand Cannon's called Tower Station. It's a nice I p a uh oh, you got lunch earlier today, and I made sure to put one of those in our in the bridge so that way, I have a nice beer in the ani while we recorded this this podcast. Normally don't drink when I record a podcast, but I figured special circumstances. We got a live podcasts late in the afternoon. It calls for at least a beer to celebrate. Yeah, oh things. I couldn't agree more. You gotta celebrate, gotta

have a beer. But it's funny because you're the cool guy. You're in the van. You know you've got swag or swab whatever you want to say. You made fun of me for saying swag at one point, but you're drinking a beer in I p A. And then here I am in my bedroom next to a Leon DiCaprio below. First of all, so it says sweet dreams, Crystal love Leo. Crystal, I'm in her bedroom actually is the one that signed me up for the bachelorette. So really I have heard

a thank for finding my wife. And as you can see, instead of an I p A, I have a bubbly BlackBerry sparkling water. That's the type of guy you guys do on a weekly basis, and I thank you for doing that. Not not only does she have the sweet dreams uh by from Leo pillow. She also just has like a small little Leo pillow with Leo's face, Uh, just plastered all over this thing, which apparently gives you

the sweetest of dreams. Before Jared, before before we get to our first guest, I said, one quick question, Crystal, is your sister correct? H. No, She's pretty much like my sister. My dad always says she's the adopted daughter that he never asked for, but it is very grateful that is in our life. So she she was really close with my sister, my sister Shannon, they were really close, and then I became really close with Like, we became really close altogether. Uh, and then it was just like she's,

you know, like my sister pretty much. And then uh, of course, like one day she signed me up for the bachelorette. Always said I should do it, never did she signed me up. And basally, here I am hosting a podcast with you, my fine fellow, and you want to know what more about this podcast is coming up In just a couple of seconds, we have an incredible guest. Jared tell us about our very first guest we have on our very first live podcast. Well, our our very

first guest I mean, you guys know him. Of course, he doesn't really need an intro now. He just wrote a book. It is available for preorder today. It is called Making the Love You Want. You know him from Hannah Brown season of The Bachelor Aurette, and then of course he went on to Bachelor in Paradise where he had a fling with Sydney. Uh. It's Mike Johnson, ladies and gentlemen. Mike Johnson is our first guest on our

first ever live Help by Second Dating podcast. I think we're gonna bring him up right now with a little intro video. Yeah, I like the inter video idea. Look at that A beautiful, a beautiful beating smile from Mike Johnson over there. What's up, buddy? How are you? What's up? Bro? How y'all? How y'all doing? Living the dream? I'm telling you, Mike, it's so funny. So you're I was. I was looking you up a little bit beforehand, and I didn't know

that your website is Mike johnson smile dot com. That is awes yea the dude, Because you know, Mike Johnson, my mom gave me like the most generic name in the world, so Mike Johnson domain was already taken. I offered to do five for the domain name, offered him a thousand for a domain name, and he's still said no. So I was like, I'm just gonna go with my smile and Mike Johnson smile dot com is where it's at. Also, tell us about this book that you just wrote, because

I'm curious to hear more about it. Yeah, making the love you one man, it's all about I just posted today on my eyeesee some personal stuff about things that we go through in our lives that we kind of don't want to tell people that may bog us down

or something of that nature. But I wanted to write in this book how to alleviate yourself from any stress that you may go through, anything that comes upon you, um and learn how to like have that boss ass attitude that you demed I know for a fact half as well, because I remember seeing you on Paradise and I was like, that dude has it, like he literally has it right. How to get that personality, how to get that smile at you have, Jared, how to just boss up in in every regarding your smile is way

better than mad, my friend. It makes sense for you to write that book because as complimentary you are a book there and not you definitely possess that same quality that you want other people to have as well. So I can definitely see it's kind of like, uh, you're you're you're telling people how to do the thing that you're obviously capable of doing yourself, which is definitely a

good way to le get into it. I mean, yeah, I had to also go through the things that are in my book in order to write the book, right. That's the only way that I have been able to write the mantras and the exercise because I created them when I went through it. Um, from dealing with personal trauma of like sexual harassment, sexual assault, uh, to dealing with things like being doing it legal things where I

could be in prison right now, um. And the rest of that stuff will be in a book on how to turn your life around, how to be a not a product of your society, and how to create the love that you want. They're always keeping it real, You always a thousand percent and say what's on your mind.

And that's a very admirable trait, especially in today's day and age, especially in someone that's put in the position that that you and me and Jared are I'll put into where it's like you want to say the right thing, you want to do the right thing to make the most amount of people happy, but in reality it's not ne Stuary tue to yourself. So what you're doing is actually you're speaking your truth all the time, which is

very very admirable. Facts. I appreciate that definitely. So you man, you said on your Instagram that you you're finding vulnerability to be sexy. Now, so like my question for you is what does Mike Johnson look for in a female bro? I suck you dating? Man, Like, come on, comes from the guy that's been a relationship for over a year now, the guy that's very I am not help me out. Here's the thing about sucking at dating, and we all suck at dating, like they're all aspects of relationships and

dating that we suck at. And my wife, who apparently is joining us on this podcast, can certainly attest to you, well, we got Mike on the on the podcast. You make a cameo later by okay, bute bye. You could definitely tell you that there are many things that I suck at at dating. Uh So, just because I'm married doesn't mean that I'm that I don't suck at it. But yeah, Mike, so you said that you're looking for somebody who's vulnerable.

What are some other qualities, because obviously we're a dating podcast that you look for in a in somebody that you hope to have a relationship with. To be honest, I'm pretty out there. I'm pretty outgoing. So I would say someone that isn't afraid to get out of their comfort zone, right, someone that is willing to try to do something at least one time, you know, not be so rigid in their ways, that's stuck in their ways. I love to be goofy and smile, laugh, and but

like Dean said, I definitely can confront people. And so I want someone. I want a woman that has like a strong backgrown I can tell me when I'm wrong. Yeah, we gotta find we gotta find the right girl from Mike. I know there's been a lot of Mike for Bachelor promotion before Matt James was uh given the role, and I honestly I was in the same the same train as well. I always wanted Mike for Bachelor. It's like we never really got that happy ending that we wanted

for you out a bachelor in Paradise. Obviously you and I kind of rolled at the same time, um, but there was just always I feel like it just it been able to connect for you, and I feel like, obviously all we want for you is to be happy and to be with that person that's right for you. And I'm not gonna say we feel slighted because Matt James, who we've never even seen on television before is the Bachelor,

because I'm sure he's gonna be fantastic. But I was always pulling for you to be the Bachelor, and I feel like maybe one day we can see it. Who knows. I appreciate that helming, but I I mean, I would say that's not something that I hold my breath on, you know, like if it happens, and it happens and I'm ben laid for it, but as well, like I'm working on myself and doing great things for myself to build myself up. So therefore, when I do find my partner, I'm ready, you know, to uh give all of me

to her. So there's two things that I wanted to ask him, Like, um, one, there was a lot of rumors when Claire was the first announced as the Bachelorrette that you. I don't know if you heard any of these that like you potentially could show up on her season. Um, well, Mike, my question is I because I heard the rumors about that, because Matt was announced as the Bachelor and then and then I heard like there was online rumors that is Mike Johnson gonna show up on Clarity. So one, why

do you think those rumors are out there? And then too, do you think you'd ever go back on the Bachelor Bachelor franchise. I would go on to Bachelor franchise again if you know everything was right. And then I think the rumors were just there because people want to see your boy on TV again. That's right, baby, that's right.

People want to see that file. I know if Matt James Bachelor one, then we need if if Mike Johnson is still single by two, which would be a miracle because you're good looking, smart, intelligent, suite and a catch. But if somehow you are not taken by two, we are saying it here first and help by second dating Mike Johnson Bachelor pretty say that I definitely do. I don't got your jaw line though broke just the jaw line. Yeah, you have a way better beard. Okay, well I'm missing

all I'm missing both of those things. No beard, no jol on. But Mike, we got the The live listeners are listening in and they're asking you questions. Uh, Tori wants to know how are you dating and quarantine because hosting this podcast, it's it's Jared and I who are both in relationships, so it's kind of hard for us to be like topical with how we're dating new people during quarantine. So what what's kind of like, what's been your method for a meeting new people and then be

progressing our relationship in this environment. I definitely have going on some dates in quarantine. Knt Lie, I think that, yeah this yeah breaking news here and help I suck at dating. Then you already said I'm always be one hunted, right, so I'm definitely appreciate that. Quarantine. Uh, you just gotta be creator, you know you could be You still can be suave, you still can be poised, you still can have swag and just come up with some out of

the box ideas. Right. So let's say I'm dating a woman and I know her I know her favorite dessert. I can have cheesecake factory delivered to a career you know, Ober eats it or something right right before I call it for our FaceTime. You know, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do that's sweet and sincere. I mean, it's it's what what are we talking about here? How? How do you? How do you meet these girls that

we're talking like dating apps? Or are you like you're going for an over in Texas and you're like you're hollering at girls from a distance, Because again, it's like, how well can you really gauge interest in someone if you can't really get closer than six feets of them? You know what I mean? Um, I think that well one the way I've done it to answer the question

I've been, I definitely have started to use them. Yeah, absolutely, as you add Instagram, Instagram is unquestionably the best dating app and people my in My uh My Mistake, Bumble and Tender and Brian are all great apps, but Instagram is the app that's best for meeting people. Now, So I'm I'm gonna put you all on game that y'all do not need to know because y'all are both, you know in committed beautiful relationships. Um, I have gotten a

date off of LinkedIn. They're serious, which is while to say, tell us how that happens. We want to hear this, I mean just on LinkedIn, Like I'm I'm serious about I try to be a professional in our regardens because I've been on PP. I try to keep it professional right and keep it g But like, if I find you like alluring and attractive, like outside from a looks perspective, But if I like your that's your goal driven in or goal oriented, I'm gonna come high. As you know.

So you know in the leaked n d MS it works the same way. Here's here's my question for you, because Mike, I used to be and we talked about this quite a bit on Bachelor Impaired Us. I used to be a recruiter for small businesses in California. But if I ever found a girl on LinkedIn, I was like, oh, this girl is cute. I would always like try to find their Instagram because it's a little more of a personal platform, right, So you're just like, you know, screw

going to Instagram. I'm just gonna go ahead and straight send him an email. Real quick on on LinkedIn and see if they get back to me maybe like there's a good there's a good way to word it. Two like, let's me know for coffee and see if we can connect like like professionally, and see if anything goes from there. But I just want to know, like how did that whole thing happen? No, like literally that's what it is.

So I don't drink coffee work, but I'll say something like, Hey, I'm going for a jog tomorrow morning at six am or seven am. Would you like to go to Starbus you get get a strawberry frap. I'll tell I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what's happening right now. I literally I can guarantee you this is happening right now. Every girl in the Dallas Houston, Texas surrounding area is updating their LinkedIn profile to make it as a feeling

as possible for you to send them. In his word, because I can see more of you right here, and I can see I can see more of your personality from a business aspect. Right on Instagram, we always showing like highlight, highlight, highlight, But if you're actually active on LinkedIn, says something right there, because who's active on LinkedIn? Nobody?

But if you are active on LinkedIn, that says something to me right there, he speaks to your personality more right, I gotta say something too, honestly, you you you using LinkedIn, you're not just about uh luks, because what you're doing on Instagram is they're all, like you said, these curated images, these models, but you don't really you you don't really get to know anything about them until you, you know,

hopefully you get to meet them. But on LinkedIn, you see recommendations and their education and their their job history. You gotta learn a lot more about them than just how they look. And so that honestly says a lot about you that you're that you're wanting to get deeper right out of the out of the gates too, which is I'll be honest, I've used linked in as a dating resource years and years and years ago, uh and

it always failed me miserably. So it's good to hear that you're using it a little bit more successful than I ever had, you know, But let's be honest, like, years and years and years ago, we both were in different positions, right, So yeah, no, you're you're absolutely You're right,

You're absolutely right. There was there was times where I had conversations too and I was like, yeah, like let's meet up for coffee to this girl who like, yes, she was very promising as like a potential candidate for a role that I might have had, But there was like underlying like, oh she might be cute, we might like like hit it off whatever. Uh and uh, yeah, I just I never had the luck with it, but it's good to know that that that that lives on and other people out there and that are more more

successful with it too. Yeah. Fact, well I'm not successfully. I don't I don't gotta, I don't have a significant other yet. It's not Aggie official. So once that happens in then I'm good and I'm g Hey, did I see something too that you and Connor moved in together down in Texas as well? Yeah, Connor and I definitely we're moving in together. We have to move in today just yet, but we're moving in in Austin. So y'all both have come out, you know, have some well, have

some fun. Only if Connor lets me, I don't know if he's forgiving me, uh the whole forget about that. I let you forget about that because to me, it's like I'm told Connor about this right because I don't really care. I just want people happy. I'm like Connor, bro that was like a year ago. I mean, like, whatever it happened has happened. It's subsided. Obviously, I have to share this story real quick. Wit. When I pulled into Paradise, Uh, like I said earlier, I was I

was a later arrival. Mike was the arrival just before me and I got there, talked to the girls as you do that's customary for once you get to Paradise, and uh, ultimately I decided took Kalin on the day. Get back from that day and all the new arrivals get put into like a room where they I was like, sleep together, and I wake up the next day because the date went late, and Mike and I had this conversation and Mike said something along the lines up, yeah,

I got here yesterday. I took Kalin on the day too, and I just want to let you know that I

admire you for having good taste. And I was like, dude, honestly, there's a million ways you can approach a conversation with someone that just took the girl that you're interested in out on a date and telling them they have good taste is like the most bad ass way to say it because it makes you seem so like and I'm not not seeing it, but it makes you honest, like the coolest guy, because most people would be like piste off or like they would get territorial or whatever, but

not Mike. Mike is a dude that a hundred percent the entire time was like I I respect it, Like, uh, you know, it was a good decision. I had the same idea and it was a hundred percent supportive and uh embracing of the entire situation. And I'm not saying Connor wasn't this way, but there was definitely like a little bit of resentment I felt from Connor towards me,

even though it's a bit of a different situation. But I had to give Mike some some props for that, because that was that was a very stand up move on your part. Bron forgot all about that. I remember it now as you said it, but after that's crazy, that is exactly what I said to you. I forgot

all about that, absolutely. I was I was laying in the top bunk two and uh and you said that to me, And I was like, literally like a bunk bed that was nine ft tall and Mike and I are standing out of I because he's so goddamn Paul And you said it to me, and I was like, I was like, dud, I just met you, and that's honestly like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. So thank you so much. So yeah, it's definitely stuck with me. So I just want to let you know

I appreciate that. No the show brow, I just want people happen. So being in the Bachelor world, man, it's just like you're one degree of separation from everybody, you know. It's it's it's just something that Connor will be I'm sure a okay with um. But Mike, before you go, I wanted to ask you. You know, you're doing all these things, You're writing books, You're staying in the public eye, like people are very interested in what Mike Johnson has going on next. So in five years, where do you

see yourself in five years? I appreciate that already known the answer to it as well. In five years, I'm gonna be a household named ten towns bigger than just some dudeails on the damn you do have answer, you like when you say something like that's that's happening, Like Mike Johnson just said it. It's gonna happen. So he just said it the way he said it. Do we know? How do we know? Do we know the path that's gonna get him there? Or yeah, definitely, I'm just curious.

Uh yeah, can you share a little bit with that? Just a little bit with that, because I'm looking to share a little bit. I can be that in that same in that same same ballpark in five years as well, doing great. You're doing great. I think the biggest thing is people don't care about that you've got going on until they know that you actually care yourself about what

you got going on. Right. And so as time continues to go on, people will start to believe, like what you just said, Dean about me, which I completely forgot about. That's my true nature, my true personality. Right, So someone will be like, wow, Mike isn't put it on the front. He said that when no cameras were around. He's just talking to the homie that he's just met today, Right, And so my path will be I'm writing a book that the next thing like, wow, he's not playing any games,

my apologies. And then from there, I'm going on a book tour, and then from there I have huge news coming out next year, two big things that I'm working on right now in regards to the same round, but I'll get a whole lot more engagement on because it's a topic everyone wants to know about. Um. And then from there, I'm gonna have a badass wife was super soul spirited, has some dope ass kids. I might travel like Dean and I'm just gonna go bigger. I love it. Dude,

you know who roinds me of? Like and this is I hope you take this as a conflict because have you ever seen The First Bad Boys? Because Will Smith's character, Mike Larry is like just like the coolest character of all time. He's like the most badass guy. Dude, you

remind me so much with Mike Lowry. I don't know if you remember in the movie, but Martin Lawrence has to pretend he Will Smith, and like the way Will Smith says his name of the movie, He's like Mike Larry like because he's just so cool you're Mike Lowry because you're just like badass. So the point being is you should be starting in Bad Boys four. That's pretty much what I'm getting at. Let's make it happen. That's

my nickname. Man. I had to get rid of that nickname because Mike Larry also has a very pretentious side, and so I don't want that pretentious, that pretentious aspect to it. It's just my But he's got a sweet he's got a good heart. That's why everybody loves him. You know, he's got he's good on the inside. You know that is true. That is what I am. Um. Well, Mike, thanks so much for joining us. Man, you are always a pleasure. Thank you for being on our first live podcast.

We can't tell you how much we appreciate it. Um. Once again, everybody, go preorder Mike's book today, Making the Love You Want and is available for preorder today and it comes out in the fall. Do you have a date for when it comes out yet? Yeah, it comes out October. Tewod World Smile Day. You know we do that on purpose. Go to Mike Johnson smile dot com and check it out. Awesome Mike Johnson, Smile Man. We appreciate you, man, I thank you all. Yeah, I have

a good one. Congratulations. Also, by the way, thanks man. Oh dude, come on your our first live guest on our first live podcast. Unbelievable. You're the man. Take care. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you. You don't have a good one. Tell tell your ladies, I said, guy as well. I will, Man, I won't. I promise you I won't. Yeah, yeah, Tellember live, help I suck at David. Oh my goshute, Sorry for sore is over there? How

are you, Taylor? I'm good. I just caught the end of Mike there, and he is so fantastic and I loved both of you in a way like boy crushing on him is very cute to watch sometimes by crush on Mike. You know, it's not often, but sometimes I wish I was single so I could give take a shot at Mike, you know what I mean. I don't know if it I don't know if they looked at I don't know if it would happen or not. But I just sometimes I wonder what it. I have a

feeling You're not alone in that thought, Dean. I agree with that anyways, Taylor, Welcome to the podcast. We love having you here. You've been here many times. UM. We are stoked to have you as always. UM. Tell us a little bit about what's going on in the life of Taylor No. One. We have live listeners listening from all over the world, from Africa, from Australia, from Europe, and even up in Canada, which we know you love so much. UM about what's going on in your life?

What's going on in my life? Still some Canada, Still some Canada in my life? Um uh yeah. In like two weeks, I'm starting my PhD and clinical sexology. UM. So that's exciting but also terrifying. UM. Still seeing clients literally hopping off of clients to hop onto here. UM. So that's been going really well. Trying to keep all these freaking plants alive. Um is like a full time job, it feels like. So yeah, things that have been things have been going. UM. So hold on, I want to

go back to your You're currently getting your degree in sexology. Yes, yeah, yeah. In September I start my PhD and clinical sexology, so it'll be a two year program. Um the whole first year and thankfully have a girlfriend here who's UM. An a sex clified sex therapist and we're taking the program together. UM. But yeah, the whole first year is like your coursework and then the second year is your dissertation and supervision. So I'll continue seeing clients through that, um. But it's

super exciting. Like I miss being in school so much, and I never thought I would ever get my PhD or like I've always wanted to be a sexologist and like a sex therapist, but always felt like it was just too far out there for me to do. I don't know why. I just like had imposter syndrome. UM. But now I'm like, holy sh it's happening of doing it and it's really exciting. And I know you talked about this in the podcast before, but just give a

like little synopsis of what you do as a sex therapist. Yes. So, I feel like the biggest thing that sex therapists and sexologists do is help destigmatize sex, help people unlearn a lot of the shame that that is kind of unfortunately

built into our sex education. UM. And it's not you know, having sex with people or anything like that, um, but it's it's a lot of like providing exercises, right and just helping normalize the language around sex, talking about masturbation and anal play and all these things that people feel like really, look are you talking about that, um, and just helping normalize it. It's a huge part of it.

I completely agree. I am. I I love what you're doing because I think we have to kind of work towards society where we normalize sex and more importantly, normalized conversations around sex because like, as growing even like from my own personal experience just growing up as a guy, especially in the digitalays with porn. I mean, let's be honest, he knows what I'm talking about. UM, It's like you're

just exposed to this. Don't don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, but you're just like exposed to this world, you know, of of what just kind of learning on the fly. And my parents were the greatest parents, but like I never had to sit down conversation with my dad where my dad was like, hey, listen, this is this is what it's all about. Like you had, We had like many very uncomfortable and awkward conversations about it.

Like I'll never forget this is an embarrassing story. But whatever, I'm you know one time, you know, I'm in my teenage years, I'm in my bedroom alone, you know, I you know, start you know whatever, and then I start what Jared's put words to it, saying, I know you're right, You're right now, no shame. So I started, uh choking the chicken as nice. No we need we need to look at It's okay to say you started touchingsturbating. Yep, I started masturbating, and I got walked in on It

was the only time I ever got walked in. My dad walked in and it was horror bying. But like later on that night, my dad sat down with me, and he didn't know what to say because like my dad's super old school, you know, so he's never really confronted a situation like this before. And he was very sweet about it. He was he was I remember him just being like, you know, that's normal, just you know, try not to do it a lot, and like it wasn't bad advice. It was just like we didn't know.

But I I think, as you know, Ashley and I start talking about having kids, I want to you know, prepare myself and I want to be as educated as possible, and I want to feel as comfortable as possible to talk with my kids about these things because I want them to learn it at somewhat of an early age.

M h yeah. I mean you literally start teaching your child about their relationship with their genitalia when they are like still a year old, right, because when you're changing their diaper and when they are going to like touch their genitals in a non sexual right right there, just like I'm figuring out my body parts. UM, parents often are moving their hands away or swatting it away or saying nope, nope, we don't touch there. We don't touch there,

we don't touch there. Right. That's kind of like the first messaging that you start getting about your relationship with your genitalia. UM. So there's so many there, there really is, no I think the sooner the better. It's just starting with anatomy. Even my UM, I consider like my chosen sister. UM, she's five years old, and you know she's learning the proper anatomy to her genitalia. You know, she knows that the vagina is the inside part, and she knows that

the outside is her vulva. UM. I have like uh internal diagram of the clitterest it's that little pink thing right there. And she saw she's like, what's She's like, what's that thing? Um? Grab it because people see me, right, please grab it. So I'm like, so I'm like, we literally pulled this down and she's like what's this? And I'm like, wow, this is like a part of your volva, Like this is the part that you see on the outside, and this is called your clitterist. This is the external

part that you see. And then this is all what's happened on the inside. So you got bulbs, you got legs, and that's all inside where your vagina is. And I mean helping young girls especially, but even young boys as well. Being able to actually identify their anatomy properly helps us to reduce shame around talking about it right, um growing up and being able to say, yeah, that's my valva and not hearing everyone be like, oh, you're she's a pussy like like you know, but you know, be like,

m that's my valva. You wanna know what? You wanna know what's messed up? And I even sharing this stories uncomfortable for me, and I understand the idea of normalizing these conversations, but you're right, there's like this weird underlying inherent not even inherent, but just taught. Thing we're even speaking on this stuff is like taboo of sorts, you know.

Um yeah, I don't think I ever really started asking a girl if they liked or what they liked or preferred sexually until I was like twenty six years old. Twenty six years old, I was sexually girl what they like? Isn't that crazy? Yeah? Yeah, well that's a norm. I feel like I was an early adopter. I feel like when it happened, I was like, Wow, I asked a girl if what I was doing was enjoyable for her. I'm like, really progressive and cool, But in reality, that's

pretty bad. Twenty six a decade of sexual activity and it took me that long to figure out to start asking the girl if they enjoyed it. You know. Well, and that's part of sex education that is lacking. Right. How do we have these conversations? How do we communicate

to each other what we like? Right? And a lot of you know, I'm just going to speak to being a female myself and to the women that I know, but I think a lot of women here I'm going to generalize, Um, have struggled to identify what feels good for them and what they like, and there's fear and going about how you communicate it right that if you know, when you seem confident in it, then you must be a slat and he might be turned off and he

might be intimidated and threatened that you're saying that he doesn't know how to please you, or there's this you know, the lack of even asking what do you like? Doesn't provide a safe space to even feel comfortable to explore

that a and then be to communicate it. Um. So, I think that's a huge part of our sex education that's lacking, because sexual health includes sexual pleasure, and sex education should also include pleasure, and being able to communicate that and share with your partner what you like and what you don't like is a huge part of pleasure

and health. So what would is there any piece of advice that you'd give anybody who's listening right now that might be going through situations similar to that where there with someone and uh, you know, from what I've heard, most of the time this happens to women just because it's harder for them to to climax, which is you know, how do I how do I convey to my partner this is what I like without them feeling uh defensive

or insecure about it. I feel like a lot of guys get insecure if they feel like they can't do it on their own, even though I'm sure that happens a lot. Yeah. So, first, I think part of the reason why it can be difficult for women's experience orgasm and pleasures actually in the first place is because of a lack of education around our actual anatomy A right, um B. I think making sure that you do have a safe space to be able to actually explore that

with your partner. Um. I think it's important in any relationship that you understand that your partner has their own relationship with their body. They have their own relationships sexually with their body that is completely independent of you. And that is not to say that, um, you know that you don't matter or that you don't provide pleasure, but that at the end of the day, you don't own your partner's body, So they're going to experience pleasure without you,

and that's not a diss at you. Right. So, I think that's important to have space to be able to experiment with that, um, and I it's disappointing because I think like we can use sex as a coping skill, just like going for a run. Right, So, like, are you do you feel intimidated or threatened? Or would your partner feel intimidated or threatened if you were having a stressful day and you were like, I really need to

go for a run, probably not. But if you were like, oh, I just want to have some you know, alone time, or I want to pleasure myself in this way, or you know, could you help pleasure me in this way? Like this is a specific way that I want. That doesn't have to be a different conversation, right, right, I agree with that. That makes a lot of sense. It's so funny too, especially when educated like yourself speak about it. You're always like I agree with that. Yeah, that makes

a lot of sense. But then like you're living your everyday life and you go through it and you're like, well, this is kind of weird. But then someone like you obviously explains it and you're like, yeah, I definitely see how there's been uh malpractice of this up until now even going forward, and that's obviously it's a notgoing conversation Um, but Taylor, obviously we love the sex topic. I could talk about sex with you for hours and hours and hours and just be I just love being informed and

educated on all this stuff. Um, but we do have to get to our next guest. But before we get to our next guest, we want to talk about Vanessa because we love Vanessa. She used to be the you know, one of the post with us here on this podcast, and you and her are incredibly good friends as well. Um, she's got engaged and that's obviously incredible for incredible thing

for her. Tell us about it because we haven't had the chance to speak with her yet on this podcast, but we love her, and you know you love her as well. Um, and we know that you know Josh and Josh is great, but we want to hear from you perspective. What's going on with that. Yeah, well I'll let her share her story. But I'm just very excited for both of them. They're both fantastic people. I absolutely

love Josh. He's a fantastic guy. He's always like, you know, trying to kind of screen the guys I date too, to make sure that we have, you know, a good double date situation. And then you can, you know, eventually one of these days take trips again together. But um no, Josh is absolutely fantastic and I'm just incredibly happy for both of them, And like since day one, and it's always been like, yeah, they're definitely gonna They're definitely gonna

be together for a very, very, very long time. It really has seemed like that, And you definitely do it on the head ever since. I remember Vanessa and I leaving like a red carpet I Heeart radio event and she was like, yeah, I'm gonna get up with Josh and she started telling me about Josh and I was like, you're probably gonna marry this guy, aren't you. Yeah, so you can definitely tell from an early stage. Yeah, all right, they're very we we love you. Thank you for joining us.

Let's talk about your podcast real quick. Before we part ways. We talked about a bunch, but um, it's called Let's talk about It. Pretty pretty funny, guys, real quick. It's almost like you planned that or something, So I haven't listened to the other's podcast. Let's talk about it. Uh, it's a great podcast. And obviously you just heard her speak. You know, she's well educated and well informed and opinionated and that's all the all the stuff we want to

keep here. And so check her out UM and check her out Instagram as well. Thank you, thank you, thanks of course, and I just want to say thank you for everything you're doing and good luck with school. I think what you're doing is very important. Uh, And I just wanted to let you know that thanks doing my best. Oh my good Lord in heaven, the man, the myth, the legend is that this thing. Do I see a thigh, a very pale hairry thigh? Have Evan bass? Ladies and John,

how are you doing? But hey, can anyone hear Evan? I can't. I can't hear him. Can you you can hear him? I can hear him. Yeah, you can't hear him. Video just went out. His video just went out. I can't see. I can't see it now, either his videos out I can't hear or I don't want to see or talk to Dean. So hopefully I'm glad to see. That was part of my contract. I is this the first time you guys are like interacting? No? All right, I don't want to talk about it, you know, it's

it's Uh. I can't remember why I'm so findly have my role model, my mute and my best friend as a guest on this podcast. It's been so long. I have so many times and every single one of them unopened. You have so much in common. Yes, look at these look at these guys. Wait, how did this seven begin? I forget the whole Dean Evan thing. Honestly, it escaped my mind until until Dean started saying that your video was out, and I was like, oh, he's doing this

on purpose. Oh yeah, how did this like rivalry even begin? I think it's it's been a one sided feud for me. I mean, I don't think I've ever talk to me always just completely despised him. That's really it. So I want to be clear. I want to be clear to say, uh, you're not alone in your disposition for me, and it's totally warranted, it's totally necessary, and just to let you know the feeling is absolutely freaking mutual. Okay, Oh Evan Evan,

You've got a relationship. And then like it's like by bachelor law, I can't be mad at you anymore now that you're in a relationship. Like we have to cheer for the couples like that's it's it's really was upsetting. Frankly, she doesn't listen to this live podcast, but literally, the only reason I dated her was to be able to make amends with you. Uh freaking awesome, Evan. The last time I saw you was when the Patriots uh beat the Kansas City Chiefs in one of the greatest games

ever play. The game. We were down in Cancoon, Mexico with Lauren z and it was so funny. We we were I'll never forget. So this is what Lauren was dating Chris, but before they came out and we were grilling her because we were like who she told us She's like, oh, I have a boyfriend. Were like, who the hell isn't she? So I I can't really, I don't want to talk about it, like it's not public, and we're like, who the hell is it? And I remember at one point in the night we were we

were driving, we saw this. I don't know if he came with this or not, but we saw did you come to the the theater? What would we go? S? Yeah, of course the musical the Yeah, the rock and roll, Yeah, Rock of Ages, and so we saw Rocket Ages and at one point in the car I was like, are you dating Chris Harrison? Because I just like threw the name out there and she was like, oh ha ha ha, and she didn't say anything, and then I told her forgot about it, and then like two weeks later she

came out Chris Harrison. Um, but I see that you're like in your your your kingdom right now. You you kind of look like a king. You're you're doing leg is up. You look you know, like your your little bit. No, not at all. I think it's fantastic. But how are you? How are the kids? How's family? How are you doing? Buddy? Oh, everybody's there's just so many of the kids now that it's just very intense and um, there's time and I can't keep tracking. I mean I've got a nineteen year

old and then a nine month old. It's like insane. So uh yeah, I mean life is good and everybody's healthy, thank god. Yeah, things are great. There's been one burning question I've been dying to ask you, and not just me, have been dying to ask you this question because a lot of our live listeners and watches of this podcast right now will literally not stop messaging uh this question, and we have to know, what is your go to

cheesecake factory order? Oh? The enchiladas, enchiladas from Cheesecake fac Food. They're amazing, They're life changing. You've never had the enchilada is? Yeah, you gotta you gotta do. I didn't even know the cheesecake factory made enchilada. That's a that's a that's a Mexican food order. You can literally say anything and they will make it for you. Like. That's one of the intense long you know menus have ever seen my entire life. We've all been done. You know, is it what is it?

Pork beef, chicken makes I don't even know anymore. That's a good question. What was your what was your go to order in Paradise? Oh? Man, uh dude, it was it was like they made some dish. It was like steak and chicken and like vegetables and it was like and then we'd make them for heat is I mean, I guess it's basically yeah, for heat is. Oh, but the chocolate shakes in Paradise, did you guys ever have some chocolate parent? Oh? My god, they were good stuff.

I well, because you you you said Encelada's in it remind me that paradise. Uh the what was it? The case of dias there? God, they had a steak and cheese case of deal with guacamole on the side and it was just perfection. Anyway, pizza and the pizza was great to talcot Chakes. I'm so glad you reminded me. Anyway, we are dating podcast, so I guess we should talk about other things food, even though we talk about food

all day. Obviously, Evan, you are known because you know on the show you were you were the e D guy. You were just the guy. But a rectile dysfunction is a very real thing. And uh so can you kind of tell us what e D exactly is? And uh, um, just kind of give us the overview of like who it affects at? What age does it mostly start affecting people? Uh and kind of the stress that's a along with it stigma. I'll just let you take it. Yeah, I mean I recall this function is basically the inability to

get in direction enough to have sex. So it's pretty simple. Um, And I mean it affects just about every guy at some point in their life. I mean it's uh, it's really common. Obviously, affects guys more as they get older, but younger guys have it too. Um see a lot of younger guys, especially nowadays, uh, that that are suffering

from it. Um. Usually with younger guys you know I'm talking and by younger, I mean like under forties, so like it's under forty is young to me still, so uh, those guys usually, um, you know, they end up not having it for for life or something. It can just be like an intermittent thing. I mean like you know people in college you drink too much and then you know you can't get it up cocaine and you're not gonna get get in direction after that, and a lot of times so um happens a lot to younger guys.

The questions for you then you're definitely not a younger guy. All right, we do we all know that you're getting up there in age, you're kind of in uh, you're getting close to retirement whatever it is. How do you how do you keep the spice alive in your relationship? Then as an old man that's probably dealing with these chronic illnesses us not keeping it away. It's like insane, No,

like that's just like the hardest thing ever. I mean, it's when you know, as soon as Isabella goes down, then Chuck Bass wakes back up, and then you know, then I've got a teenager who needs help with his freaking book report whould wait until last minute to do before summer reading. And so it's great, it's difficult. Yeah, yeah, but Evan, you are pumping out kids faster than freaking than bugs Bunny on Easter over there, so obviously that

the Roman doesn't mark you're still there. Yeah, it's that's exactly right there. It just takes one shot, you know. But I'm curious because there is there is this stigma against the rectons. This function, and like you said, Evan, is very common. Um, but I've also heard this not only for men who feel insecure when they can't perform, but also females. Uh think that it's them that they're like if if a guy can't get it up, then

a woman feels, oh my god, he's not attracted to me. Um. Obviously I don't think that's true, but maybe you can elaborate a little bit on that to make females who are listening to this right now, uh a little bit more comfortable letting them know that hey, if if a guy has rectile this function, it's not that he's not attracted to Yeah, it's crazy. I mean for guys, it's like, as long as it's warm and moist, it's fine. Sometimes it's just not moist, it's fine, Like it's not a

big deal. So it's not it's usually not almost never is it's sexual attraction. Um. A lot of times, like I had a guy who um came to me and he was like, man, for a year, I've been starting fights with my wife, um because I can't get it up. And so at night before bed, I start fights and then I'll go sleep on the couch because I don't want to be putting that awkward position of having to

like get it up when I know I can't. And so, um, guys are very um, you know, protective, our egos are very fragile around our member and so it's like a difficult thing to talk about. I mean, you know, it's and so a lot of times, you know, I don't know why women think it's them, but it's it's just it's just not like guys always want to have sex, and a lot of times if they don't, then it's

there's something else going on. One thing I've noticed, and this might be Team I or maybe I've shared on the podcast before, I honestly don't know, is my sex drive strongly diminishes if I'm not like working out or like physically in shape. So after I broke my leg, my sex drive started depleting quite a bit, not because my leg was broken, but because I felt ending in my or so in my arms, like getting softer, and there were things like I was like, even, like Evan

just said, I was like pretty down to myself. I was like, wow, like I'm not you know, I'm not like as vigorous as I used to be or to think that. But then I was like, well, it's probably because you feel like a fat piece and started for my language. But that's actually what that's that's where that's where I ended up. Yeah, totally, man. I mean anxiety and stress are um probably the number one cause of

e D and young people. I don't know, that's not a medical fact, but that's I mean see that all the time where it's just like life is weighing on a guy or um, you know, yeah, you start to get that little paunch in your belly, you lose your self confidence and um, and then it's like, oh, I don't you know? Do I still got it? Am I still going to impress? Impress for or whatever? And and you know, it's it's tough. It's tough to come back.

It's actually like this negative feedback loop. It sort of spirals down and it's like you have one bad encounter and you're like, oh my god, and then all the sadden it's like another about him. Am I gonna is the next time I go to have sex? Am I gonna like not be able to get up again? What's going to happen? So then then you kind of avoid it, and if it's not talked about, then it ends up

being you know, kind of a big deal. A lot of guys would you go to the doctor and ask for pills or something if um, if they know and not tell they're their significant uh girlfriend, boyfriend whatever and um, and so yeah, they try to hide it and and sometimes that works, you know, but communication is always the best obviously. Um. So before you go out, and I did want to ask you, how do you think we can make talking about recton this function more normal? Because,

like we talked about, it is very uncomfortable. It's hard to communicate it, especially as a guy, you can start feeling insecure. Um. And we actually just had Taylor Nolan on the podcast was becoming a sex therapist, which is incredible and she really wants to start normalizing just discussions about sex. Uh, so we can learn at a younger

age about what sex really is. And so I guess my question is for you, Like I said, what do you suggest to make the discussion around erectile dysfunction more normalized? I think you get a joke about it. You gotta have fun with it. Um. You know, the memes are plentiful, the jokes are plumbing. I mean you just gotta like, um, you know, just kind of bring it around that way.

And especially if you're gonna go if you suspect your guy might have e D or if he does have e D and he just doesn't want to talk about it, Um, you know, you gotta do like the Oreo approach, right, Like you gotta do the positive affirmation. I really love

your dick. It's really beautiful and it's awesome. Um, but you know, like we should talk about like have like let's try some of this stuff that's out there and available that we can you know, mess around with and have fun, kind of make it sort of like a sex toy, but it's like but it's a viagara. And then I just I just love that, you know, like i'd love you, and I love the intimacy and all that stuff. So if you as long as you stroke a guy's ego, um, you know, you can usually no

pun intended side. As long as you say you go, then you can usually um you know that. Uh. I was gonna make another joke, but I'm not gonna do. Uh. It loves the entry, so yeah, oh there we go. Man. Well, Evan,

we really appreciate you coming on. We really appreciate you facing your your moral enemy, um Dean Anglert and uh it's always fun seeing you to interact and thank you for really, uh you know, talking about e D. Because I do think it's an important topic, uh and something that we should talk more about because like you said, it's pretty common. Yeah for sure. I love that. Alright, cool man, please give my love and all the kids.

All right, well game, we can never talk to you again. Evan, thank you for whatever my life on Twitter, I'm just gonna keep going. I love it all right, by everybody, all right, see, I totally forgot about the the relationship that you guys had. God so good, Oh my god. Anyways, moving on from a very scorned and troubled relationship to a beautiful budding friendship. Um, we have a dating expert.

We've had a lot of uh, you know, posers and infiltrators on the podcast, ourselves included, but we finally have an expert that's willing to help us answer some of these questions. Right, I think we I think, of course. Chris Tider's right here. He's Chris Cider. Everybody, lads and gentlemen. He is the host of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, and you can get that wherever you listen to podcasts. Um, and is Chris Cider? Chris? How you doing, buddy? I'm

doing well? Are you? I'm doing well? Man? Thank you so much for joining us. So this is our first ever live help by second dating podcast, obviously virtually, so I really appreciate you coming on, uh and and and talking all things relationships, which is obviously what your podcast is about as well. But I do love the title of your podcast, the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. Tell me

what does that mean? Well? There's like two different meanings to it, right, So someone who wants to get their rex back can mean that, or someone who wants to recover from their breakup can mean that. So it's kind of playing with two birds one stone type mentality the ex boyfriend. I feel like there's a lot of women that are in this on this uh this live right

now that are dealing with ex boyfriends. I feel like, as a guy and an ex boyfriend up until I obviously started dating and then married my wife, Uh, it's just like X has always come around. They never go away. Why is that? Is it just comfortableity? Is it because

we already know what we're getting ourselves into. So what I've noticed is usually when you move on, they start to come back, which is sort of like this maybe concept of letting them go, and they're kind of like feeling a little bit of regret and they start to get romanticize the past the little bit, And I think that happens a lot, So that that's my take on it. I guess I feel like, as you're alluded to just a minute ago, as we've all kind of been in

that situation where we've been an ex boyfriend. If you haven't been an ex boyfriend or a next girlfriend. I guess granted our listeners are probably must a female. Good for you, because I would say nine point nine percent of us have been a next at some point. And there's always these feelings of it. You're like, well, maybe I should just get back with my acts, Maybe I should give it another shot, maybe I didn't put my

effort into it. And there's always like these lingering questions at like what if you know what I mean, Yeah, I think for sure that what if is kind of the cusp of everything you know, people feel. You know, they say that the like the third biggest regret in life is like not telling someone that you loved them, not taking your shots. So I feel like there's a lot of that going on with people who sort of

romanticize the past after a certain amount of time. So from my own personal experience, and it's hard to explain, but my wife and I we never really were boyfriend girlfriend, but we kind of had a fling and then we were just friends for a long time and then we started dating and now we are married. So my question is a lot of people um get back with their

X and then they're accused of settling. Uh, you know, they'll they'll they'll break up and then they'll move on and they get back and they're like, oh, you're settling for that person, You're going back. So my question is do you think that that's true? Um? Do you think that it's healthy to have a break up in a

relationship and then come back together. So I think one of the most unhealthy type of behaviors I've seen is this on again, off again type situation people fall into where they break up and then they get back together and they break up again. And I find with people like that, the challenge really isn't getting their X back, it's more like keeping the relationship so you don't have

that off again phase. And with regards to the settling, I think a lot of times the reason people do that is they have a bit of this grass is greener syndrome. So a lot of times when you go through a breakup, you're in this situation where you're thinking you can do better than the person you're with, and then sometimes that's not always proven true. And so I don't necessarily think the people who go back to their X is, at least in the moment, feel that they're settling.

But maybe that's that stereotypical pressure coming from outside that creates the narrative that you're settling. That's I guess that's my take on it. Yeah, yeah, that's I mean. But the way that Chris speaks, it's very profound, and I I have no issue with agreeing everything that's, agreeing with everything that he's saying. But we do have some listener questions Chris that we want to get to. Um So Danielle wants to know why do people go to each

other rather than say they're just not interested? What's your take on that? My take is they're afraid of the confrontation. You know, it's amazing what people do to avoid the confrontation. So it's sometimes just easier to cut them out completely. So the ghost and I think with the advent of texting, that is a lot more common now than it used to be, where you'd have to go take them on the day and just sort of have the talk. You know, well,

you don't have to do that anymore. You have like simple like oh, just block their number, which is not the best way to treat someone, but you can see

how convenient it is. I have a friend that's kind of going through a weird situation right now where they are with someone, but they're still talking to their ex, and while they want to be with the person they're dating right now, they're still harboring some feelings for their ex and they feel that it's They also feel so bad because the x ones like wants to get back together with them, So they feel like it's almost better to kind of try to be nice to them and

communicate and not just completely shut things off, because they feel like that would be harsher than actually cutting off communication. Do you think that's true or do you think it's just best to completely cut off communication and give them the opportunity to move on with their life. I think it depends on the goal of the person. If you want to move on, I think it's best just to cut off communication to move on. Um, if you don't

want to move on. One thing we know is that when you're in a relationship with someone else and you start talking to your ex a lot. If you're talking to your ex a lot, it is a sign that you're not as satisfied as you think in the current relationship you're in. I mean, it's like not rocket science, but you'd be kind of surprised at how little people

realize that. So I'm wondering if maybe so if your friend, if he's or she, I don't know the situation exactly, but if she's or he's talking to their ex, I'm wondering, is it just out of being nice or you mentioned there's some unresolved feelings there, so maybe a bit of that grass is greener syndrome is happening to him. Yeah maybe. I mean I hate saying I'm not gonna say who it is, obviously, but like I hate saying it's like my friend, because then people would be like, oh, it's him,

It's definitely not me. I'm happily married. But uh yeah, it's just uh. I was very curious about that. I mean, I've been through situations like that. I remember I was.

I had a breakup years ago that it was just like we talked about one of those really bad long breakups because we dated for a while and it was kind of like on and off again, and you know, we would meet up because it's like, hey, I don't I still want you a part of my life, But then we'd meet up and then you know, hook up and it was just like this endless cycle and and uh, it wasn't healthy for either one of us really. But Dean, do you want to get back to the listener questions?

Do you have another one? Yeah, so we have a we have another one from Martina who wants to know it does distance or time actually make the heart grow fonder? Chris? What do you think about that? Yes, time for sure can make the heart grow fonder, But I don't think it's just like so a lot of people talk about this concept playing hard to get, and that is psychologically proven to be effective. Yet I will say the aspect of playing hard to get is you have to at

least engage in some type of communication. You know, it's sort of like the hot and cold type aspect. So I think distance can make the heart grow fonder and time can make the heart grow fonder if there's some type of communication being involved to make the person really satisfied in the interaction. So yes, But is one of

those sort of answers to it, you know? There there's always kind of And to your point, I was gonna say, Uh, I've been playing hard to get with Kendall Jenner for quite a few years now and you're right about them having to know that you might be interested in the first place, I went and I went that. I mean, hey, listen, you know we've all got our celebrity crushes, all right. Fair enough, fair enough, my friend. UM, I have another

I have another question for you. Do you think that, um, social media has more of a negative or positive effects on relationships and dating? I think it can be what you make it, because a lot of times on social media, I don't think people are putting themselves forward there, like you know, they're cropping pictures to make sure it's the

best picture, the best version of themselves. I've I've heard some really horrible horror stories from people that I work with where they go on dates expecting, you know, the the dating profile picture to be exactly who they get on the on the date, and it's not at all. So I think there's that element. I think if you use it effectively, it can be really a powerful tool,

especially in today's dating environment. But I do see some negative aspects to it, especially we're kind of living more of our lives, especially now more than ever with the quarantine digitally as opposed to just being in the moment

and kind of enjoying each other's company in person. So we've all been single at some point in our lives, especially with Instagram around and whenever you would like find a girl attractive or q on Instagram and you wanted to like maybe get to know the more and slide into the vms or whatever. What I found out, what the practice that I incorporated later on was pictures, as Chris said, are one thing. They can be highly doctored,

highly edited. Whatever. I would always look for, like the videos that they have on their feet, and if there was like a video of them, even just like a selfie video of them doing something, you can get a much clearer image of who the person is going to be. Not only because of it you can't doctor a video quite as much, but they're like their mannerisms are obviously much more apparent in those videos, you know what I mean. Well, well, what's interesting is that you bring up the video thing.

That's something I've seen a lot of success with because of the seven thirty five rule, which basically is talking about how we perceive communication. Seven percent of how we perceive communication is words, thirty eight percent is a tone of voice, in fifty is body language. With videos, you're kind of engaging all of that aspect versus just like

the d M s, you're just texting back and forth essentially. Yeah, I remember heard the seven five yeld But that that makes that makes a lot of sense with something we're going to store away in the memory banks, all right. Chris Becky wants to know how do you get out of the talking stage, which even probably is more challenging now during COVID because all we have to do is sit around and talk on our phones, but we can't

quite meet up as often. So what do you recommend for the people that are trying to get out of the talking stage. I think trying to, you know, put the seven will into practice where you're not just texting, because I'm assuming what she says talking, she's just texting back and forth, back and forth. Maybe sliding a video entering a video chat, doing something of that nature to sort of spice things up a little bit might be

a good route to go. I I agree that there's gotta be like, uh, there's gotta be like a thing to have, Like there has to be I don't I guess like a like a like a an idea where you're not like just like, let's stop talking, let's moving forward. You have to like basically not like Aggamon, but like create an event or some sort to like coax them into being more comfortable with the idea of like progressing

past talking stage. You know what I mean. Like, let's say you go like an inside joke where you both love bunt cakes. You're like, let's go get a bunt cake together, you know what I mean, Like, there's gonna be like, in my opinion, there's got to be like some event or some moment that's like very essential to any progression of a relationship. And asked the stem from

something early on in the talking stage. I think one thing I tell my clients is, like, what you want are virgin ground topics, Like you want to get so in depth in a conversation with that person that they're talking to you about things that they've never told anyone

else before. Um, And certainly I don't think you know the inside jokes what you're talking about is kind of an important aspect as well, But I think you need to kind of if you if you're stuck on the talking stage, my guess is you're not talking about ideas, You're talking about people or events in Great Minds always talk about ideas out bunt cake ideas, bunts. If we're gonna leave you with one thing on this podcast, it is bunt cake ideas. You want to know what's funny,

As I said, I said bunt cakes. And the reason that I said bunt cakes was because there was this girl in college but I had a huge crush on that worked at a bunt cake shop and I would often use bunt cakes as an excuse to like, go see here, So I was like drawn from some some passive label. You've labeled that experience the bunt cake thing. So it's like any kind of cake. Yeah, okay, I like it, yeah exactly. And everyone that's listening is feel

free to to steal that. And and I want to point out it was effective, but we did date for a little bit, obviously long term, not quite as effective, but we were able to explore relationship and realize that it wasn't for us. So the bunk cake works to get the girl but not keep the girl, essentially, is what you're saying. Well, there's gotta be more than just partakes as a foundation for relationship, right right right? Um, Chris, you're the man we appreciate you coming on the podcast.

Thank you for sharing your wise words. Um and Jared pointed out you have a podcast as well. Please feel free to shore that with the listeners and we'll be sure to check it out as well. What's the most name of the podcast? Yeah, it's simple Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. You can get it wherever the podcast live. You know iTunes that you're Spotify, love it. You're the man. We appreciate you coming in. We appreciate you sharing your wisdom with us. Than We'll be sure to check that out.

See you. What about Yeah, Jared, right now there were to to co hosts co hosting a podcast, as co hosts do for a podcast. We saw Ashley and a little puppy dog making appearance just the second. Well, this is not my puppy dog. This is food sheet. Oh come here, Fushi. So this is Fushi. This is Crystal's dog es. Do you guys love your multipoos? Look look at this ship too? Is this like a Rhode Island thing to be obsessed with? These kinds of little dogs

that you guys all have. Look at this little bit. Oh dude, you have Pappy. Pappy's a small dog. You can see up the obsession. I agree, but you have you have a very similar you have two of the same dog. Your parents have a similar dog. Crystal's got the dog the doora wile. Don't get me wrong. It looks at little walk. It looks like it's supposed to be running around tattooing or something. But it's yeah, yeah, I would say more you are, but that's that's just

you know, beauty disagree. Anyways, first live podcast, dude, I'm gonna say it was a success, even though there's a little bit of a lag time between saying and hearing and speaking. It's like I can talk over each other that but we do have some questions from our from our listeners. They're pressing and they want to know some things. So let's ask a couple of questions amongst each other. So this one's from Eliza. She says, who's your bigger

man crush, Mike Johnson or Tyler See? And I think this applies to both of us, And I think I know your answer before you're gonna say, You're gonna say Mike Johnson because we had and he is dreaming, And yeah, I'm gonna say Mike Johnson. Just because, like I said before, he reminds me of of of Will Smith and Bad Boys, who's like Mike Larry, one of my favorite movie character

of all time. So John, I'm gonna say Mike Johnson too, which is crazy for me because we all know I've got a big man crush on Tyler See, but huge. I will say. I'm working on um focusing more on the things that I do know about people rather than things I don't know about people. And I don't know Tyler See, so I put him on this big pedestal. He's probably gonna disappoint me. And because of that, Mike Johnson all the way. What other questions do we have,

Jared that we can answer right now? I actually can't read the chats, So do you mind reading the questions? It's all blurry to me. Yeah, I would be happy to the WiFi that I'm stealing from the hotel allows me to read the chat and your own your crystals WiFi doesn't like to you, all right. This one's from Brielle. Brielle wants to know, similar to what we asked Evan, what is your cheesecake factory order? Jared? Uh, you know, I Eastern is gonna really hate me for this one.

I don't go to the cheesecake factory all that much. I mean, listen, I am all for cheesecake factory. I'm all for chain restaurants, Big Friday's, Guy, Apple, Applebee's, Chili's, cheesecake Factory, I'm all in. But you know, I guess i'd probably say, you know, chicken fingers and fry, something something easy, something traditional, something tasty. It's pretty basic. And I will say Eastern are one of our producers of those podcasts listening to this and judging both of us

very hard for answers right now. And I'm also going to give a very uninspired I'm gonna give it an inspired answer. I think my go to UH is I can't remember if this take practory somewhere else, but the barbecue chicken salad is very very good, delicious east And the reason we're referencing Easton because Eastern travels around the country and goes to different cheesecake factories. I think he's been to like thirty different cheesecake batories, if not more.

I I might be low balling that. I'm not sure. Honestly, very very very impressive on Eastan's part. All right, this one's frown Terrence, Terrence, thanks for asking a question. Uh, they want to know what do you guys think of the whole bachelor atte switch? And we talked about this a little bit just the other day when we didn't

any last weekly. Uh, they're allegedly was a switch from Claire Crawley as bachelorette over to Tasia Adams is the bachelorette, which was operating on that assumption, Jared, because I know you you've been to Laquinta. You can't divulge anything, but operating the assumption that we went from Claire to Taitia. What are your opinions on that. I know, I know things that you guys don't and I still don't know

because they don't tell me anything. Uh, as you know, you know the room, and they're like, all right, well we'll tell you what you need to know and then tell you nothing of that. I would say, listen, I love Cla. Claire is a badass, per woman who's stunning, uh, and I think she will make an incredible bachelorette. And if the rumors are true and Tastia is the bachelorette as well, Tassia is another badass woman who is stunning and kind hearted and someone that both Ashley and myself

are big fans of, just like Claire. Uh. And so if there's an opportunity for both these women to find love, I'm all in, like, let's do it. I to watch them both fall in love, that'd be great. It's so weird though, because like they're and this is you know, all over the news circuit as well. US Weekly like posted photos of of Claire and Chris Harrison filming something the other day. So Claire is still down there filming,

So who the hell knows what is going on? But you know, I give them all the props in the world because, like we've said this before. I know Fushi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fush's whining right now. Uh. He's very concerned about why these things are in my ears. Uh. And I'm talking to a computer by myself. Um listen, I I just say, they always top themselves. It's unbelievable. It's freaking show. Like just when you think that they peak and it's like, wow, they can't get any better

than that boom they got better than that. Well better better is a subjective word, all right, One quick. Last year has actually been east has been the thirty two cheesecake factories not thirty very easy to make, and I just don't want I don't want easton you were I don't want easy to come back to us and be like listen, guys at the thirty two. So so Eason has been a thirty two different chieh take factories very impressive.

And in the last final question before we wrap up our final final, I'm sorry, first ever live podcast it might be quickly because I don't know the answer. But Jared, do you know the answer of who Nick Vial is dating? Uh? I mean that's a question, Damn I do uh kind of I'm certainly not saying it here. Uh if he is dating someone? Uh, you know. I mean, so you do know who he's dating, but you don't know if

he's dating someone. I don't know. I love Nick, but he doesn't share his personal romantic life with me as often as he might have used to. I don't know, dude, but he also doesn't share with anybody like that. Guy plays things so close to the chest, like things that just don't need to be played close to the chest, you know what I mean. It's like bro just freaking tell me, and he's like, oh, I don't know. I

just hope that guy is happy. I really do. He's like, dude, he truly is, like I know I always is, but he's like the closest thing I have to a brother, because like there are times man where I'm like, dude, what do you Why are you being such a dick right now? And then I'm like, but I also love you. So it's like it's like that brotherly type of relationship. And uh, I'm I'm on such like a comfortable level

with Nick right now. I really enjoy it because I I used to be intimidated by him, like I would never say what I actually meant, even when we started becoming friends. Uh, and now I just say whatever is on my mind, and I've I found that it's really helped our friendship. I love it. I love it. Well, since you want to share who he's dating, we can only speculate. Uh So I guess we'll just continue to speculate anyways. That's gonna do it for a first ever

live help I suck at dating. I know that we wanted to be under different circumstances where we could actually have an auditorium filled with thousands and thousands of our fans and listeners and um bring people on stage and throw parties and take fireball shots and all these things that we've dreamed of doing every single night since. But for now, this is all we got. And honestly, I had a great time. I hope you guys listening and

watching had a great time as well. Big thank you to Mike Johnson, Taylor Nolan, and Chris Uh Chris as well. I don't think I'm forgetting anyone, am I. Anyways, it doesn't matter getting anyone, Because I almost said it too, I was almost like, wait a minute. Big thank you to Evan Passable for joining us and being a guest on our podcast. He's he's very charismatic and handsome uh digitally as well, So big thank you to you, Deane are always being a handsome, wonderful person you are and

really just carrying this podcast. Uh. And I truly mean that. I'm I'm confident in uh in my ability, but you are truly the talent my friend, and I have no quarrel like that. I really don't. Thank you to all the listeners. Thank you to everybody who tuned in, who bought tickets. Like the idea that you guys paid money, uh to be with us is something UH that's awesome and uh, I just can't tell you how how grateful we are for that. Um and uh hopefully we'll move

back at studio at some point soon. I felt like we're really catching our groove. Man. We were headed for that People's Choice award. I actually so I ate hidese food. Tonight got a fortune cookie that said I was gonna win an award soon, and the first thing that went my mind was, like People's Choice Awards, help us suck a dating best live podcast. It's coming up. I I

can feel it in my blood. I do. I have one more big thank you, and that is to the Grand Canyon in for letting me park in their parking lot and steal the WiFi for the past hour and a half. I think thank you for not even knowing that Dean was there. I'm like a full incognito mode where like the I belt, like the blinds down and so like no one can see end of the van, but I can, you know, obviously, still operate and function

appropriately and properly. I didn't think that this wife I was gonna being kick Kaitlyn out of the van while you recorded this is she just like sitting outside. Well, so we're actually staying in a hotel tonight under canvas Grand Canyon, and it's like ten minutes away. And I was just like, you know what, I just stay here with copy, takes some photos and I'm gonna be on for an hour and a half. Well, me and suck Army changed the world. And she was like, yeah, that's

totally fine. Uh So Jesus, she's back sitting in the in the TP that we're staying in for the next couple of nights. But anyways, that's gonna do it for this episode of Help I Suck at Dating. Every episode gets better and better. Jared, I love you so much. This is fantastic. Uh. To our listeners and to our to our watchers, thank you guys for tuning in. As Jared said, if you paid the ten dollars, great, If you paid the thirty dollars, I hope you enjoy your beanie.

I should have worn mine and that was just bad marketing on my point. But thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to tune next week because maybe we'll all suck just a little bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast