Let's Get Bibi

to our standard format. We've got a great episode for you guys. Not only are Jared and I back together, but we also have Bibiana Julian from Bachelor Colton season, Bachelor Paradise, Bachelor Winter Games is gonna be joining us. She actually is hosting What a Girl Wants this week as well. More on that later, Jared, I haven't talked to you, actually, I don't think in a couple of weeks, aside from a couple of texts. So fill me in, man,

what's going on? How are you just living to? Holidays are amongst us, but you know, COVID still around, so that's just ruining everything I'm doing. Well though. Ashley and I are are doing well. Families healthy, everybody's doing well. It's all you can ask for right now. Also, just to mention, we do have coming up on the podcast, just to tease, you know a little bit more. We have Justine and Caleb from Love Island us A season two, uh, and they left the show together and very happily in love.

So we're gonna catch up with them and see what's going on in their world and in my world. Bro, I don't know, it's pretty boring. Like we're putting up a Christmas tree. That's always fun, so like celebrating the holidays very early because there's nothing else to do, Like it's you know what else are you gonna do? Let me ask you this. So you put the Christmas tree up, and this is in Rhode Island or this is in Virginia. So we're on the we're staying on the East coast

for the holidays. Just we're gonna there's there's not much for us to be doing in l A. So we're gonna be here for the The tree is erect, but is it decorated at the moment currently being decorated We started last night, so yeah, Ashley's parents has a big four A and uh, the trees like twenty ft tall. It's like the New Year's Rocket, what is it the Rockefeller Center tree? Except better because if you saw pictures of that one, it's disgusting right now. Yeah, this one's great,

and there's a lot of fun ornaments on there. There's child pictures of both Lauren and Ashley, which are both and equally embarrassing. So that's fun putting those right front and center in front of the front door. Um, and then yeah, I'm trying to think what else have I been doing? Man? Living a very board life. Oh, we were on Bachelorette. That was cool. I forgot about that. You guys were in the on the classroom date. Yeah, so that was a lot of fun to film. Let's

talk about that a little bit. So you actually had a chance to kind of meet some of Tastia's guys obviously before we were introduced to them on the TV show. So what were I think you can speak freely on this because it's already aired and we already obviously know you're there. What were your first impressions of the guys that you were able to me? Which ones did you like which ones didn't you like? So have you been watching? Um, I watched the last episode and then the other couple episodes,

like sporadically but not too deep. But you have like a general idea of who the guys are. Yeah, dude, she's got a good group. I'm not gonna lie when I at least on the group date. The guys that I met and interacted with all very down earth, all super cool. I really enjoyed just hanging around with them. Uh, and they were so fun and upbeat about the entire group date there, there didn't seem to be one person who was a Debbie downer. Bennett's the man Love Bennett,

big fan of him. Um. He also knows the Winkl bosses, which is another reason why I'm a big fan of him. And uh, dude, it was fun. Like So we we went down to La Quinta a few months ago. We had to quarantine there, so they put us in a hotel room. But it was a nice little area that Ashley myself and of course Lois had to come she

was there too, and we had a little backyard area. Um, so we had to stay inside, had our designated room for I think three full days before we could see anybody, and then on the fourth day we got tested, and then on the fifth day we got tested and as long as we had two negatives. On the sixth day was when we entered the bubble and filmed. It was cool. It was dude, you know, like, I don't know, have you done like any cameos in the show since being a cast member? I don't think so. Um, it's a

lot better. You know how you're a cast member and you just you have no rights. You are you You're just not a human being at the time, Like you can't have your phone, you can't know anything, You're locked down. You just go wherever producers tell you, like here, man. It was just like as soon as we got our two negatives the morning before we filmed, like I walked down to the coffee shop, I talked to some of the producers, I saw Harrison like, it was just like

you're a part of the crew. It was it's fun Do they have your phone or did you have your phone on yet? No, we had our phone the entire time. It was funny because when we originally went down to La Quinta, we thought we were going for Claire. I swear to God. So they called us about a week before we left and said, hey, could you guys come down for about a week because you have to quarantine

stuff and be a part of Claire's group date. We said sure, yeah, of course, And when we went down there still assumed that we were going to be on a date with Claire. And then on the second or third day we were quarantined to the hotel room. I was looking at my phone and all of a sudden, all these rumors that started blowing up that Claire was leaving the Bachelor, and I thought that Ashley about it,

and it was like, there's no way this is happening. Well, it's obviously a farce and it's it's a whole bunch of nothing. And then it started really picking up steam,

uh with social media. So then Ashley and I, because we have a little back door area with a fence, so we were standing on chairs just looking out to see if we could see anything, whether we could see Tashia walked by, or if we could see Claire, or just get any information because here we are in the Bachelor at Bubble where they're filming, and we have no

idea what the hell is going on. So it was actually quite a fun few days trying to just gather information and then finally h the after we tested negative once the producer was allowed to come in with a mask on and uh, and he was like, so Tacious a bachelor, right, and uh, you will not be going on a group date with Claire, You'll be doing a group day with Taia. Um. So it was. It was. It was kind of wild there for a little while, but it was fun. Man. It's always fun going back.

And it's weird to say because as you know, like it's amazing how they can kind of not I don't want to say screw you over, but you know, they're out to make a television show. And I still love the production. I still love the show. I it feels it's gonna sound really corny, but it feels like my family.

And it felt like that when we went down to film, because we saw all the producers and hung out with them, and like I said, we got to, you know, hang out with Chris Harrison, which out him on the phone for a little while afterwards, and um, and in seeing Tasia, who we've been befriended over the past couple of years. Well, you know she came to so many I heart and festivals in Tahoe, and um, it was it was cool.

It just felt it feels really nice to have a sense and you get this too, like a sense of belonging nous to something, and that's what we get with the show. Yeah, I would know what that feels like because they've never asked me and kill him to do anything. So the belonging this that you feel is lost on

me since I have never been I've never feeling. But this isn't This isn't about you guys invited back to do the What was it you guys did the interview for the and you know they're inviting Ashley and I'm just an extension of that. Irrelevant, irrelevant anyways, what were your first impressions of the guys? Was there? I know you said you liked a lot of them. A lot of them are down to earth and humble. Was there anyone that kind of rubbed you the wrong way? Seriously? No,

that was the crazy part. We're expecting some sort of villain or somebody who's gonna stir up some drama, and nobody did. No. Granted, the nature of the group date was very lighthearted. You know, we twizzed the guys on math and geography and then we did like this, you know, uh pull what is it? Pull tug whatever the hell it is. He didn't sound right, but you know, pull tuggy. Uh what was I saying? Oh? And then there's actually one part of the date that got edited out, but

it was it was fun. So there was this bag of all feminine products and the guy, so one guy was sitting in a chair facing away from the other guy who his his teammate, who had to pick a product out of the bag and try to explain what it was to the guy who couldn't see, and then the guy who couldn't see had to guess what the product was. So that was a lot of fun. You know. They would pull out like obviously one that was used was a tampon or a maxi pad, and they were like, oh,

it goes, it's it stops. You know, this happens once a month and this thing like goes and stops, you know, and so it was. It was It was quite hmicle um h, dude, nobody run me the wrong way like I'm trying to, you know, I know, Chason and Ed had their big drama throughout the episode, but that really didn't show its colors on our group date. That must have happened much later. Um, yeah, what was it awkward and Bennett leaning in for that kiss? Oh yeah, it

was super awkward. It was great though, because it's so it's such a Bennett move, you know. So we awarded Bennett with the the Grown ass Man plaque and of course he stood up there with his bathrobe as if he was in front of the paparazzi, like posing with Tasha. It's like, oh god, and then he went in for a kiss in front of all the other dudes. And I don't think it wasn't that Tasha didn't want to

kiss Bennett. I actually think she's she's kind of intrigued by him, but you just don't do it in front of other guys. And I could all of us knew, Like Tasha just felt so awkward because she's like, I everybody's watching and okay, we're kissing. Um, so it was. It was. It was pretty cringe worthy, but it's you know, it almost didn't matter because it's better and he's such a caricature of himself that it's you know, you kind of just laugh at it. Does it make you didn't

make you miss being on the show at all? No, Oh my god, it made me so happy that we weren't a part of the show. Not to say, like I said, I love the show. I love everything about it. But as you can attest, being on the show itself, uh, is not as glorious as it appears. You know, you're very restricted on where you can go, what you can do. You're cut off from the outside world. You can't talk

to family or friends. Um. You know, especially for these guys, there's no traveling involved, so they don't really have quote unquote days off because when you travel on the show, you get to at least not be on camera and miked up. You can kind of just not feel like you're walking on eggshells constantly. And these guys don't get

it because they're just they're stuck at this resort. Uh. And then we'll see that again obviously Matt James season, because they're filming right now, and uh, I think Pittsburgh. I think that's where the resort is. But no, man, it didn't make me miss being on the show. Is his season and filming entirely in Pennsylvania, Yeah, they're doing the same thing. They rented at a resort once again,

and they're going to film all in one location. Oh, I just figured that they were going from resort to resort within the US, but that guess that makes more sense for them to be over there. But you didn't make a good point, because the fondest days that I have to remember our time on Bachelorrette war the days of traveling, like when we were in Norway and we've got to like just walk around with no Mike's, no cameras or anything like that and just like kind of

like like cooper around for the entire time. Do you have camera that's like your favorite of from filming? Um, I don't know about that. I just remember specifically when we were in Denmark. Uh. It was like me, Peter and Alex and Adam all went into like this big fish market together and like spent the day explaining the fish market and we were like, you know, like drinking beer and like getting good food and like all this stuff that you would just do on a normal day,

like if you were a tourist in Denmark. Uh, And those were the days that were like those were the actually like you, like you said, you're not walking on eggshells. You can actually like kind of like relax a little bit, uh and like let like let loose and like laugh and crack jokes at each other. Like obviously you're doing all those things otherwise, but it just like was a

less pressure. I guess you could say that day. Um, and you're right, these guys not having that, like that's gotta be brutal because those are the only days that you could use to like decompress. And if you can't decompress and you're so yeah, you need that. You need like I've realized that I need guy time. You know, I need to just be able to say things that I don't have to be concerned about saying in front of my friends and not be judged for you know,

that's why golf is so great. You know, it's like Vegas. What happens on the golf course stays on the golf course. Well, let me ask you this, of all the guys and having met a few of them and now seeing them on television, which ones are your front runners? Uh? So Ben is definitely a front runner. They definitely had some chemistry between the two of them. He was on the group date I'd say this guy, no uh, the mustache guy, the guy that you know, it's just like the poor

man's version of you no offense to Noah. Uh knows. You know, very good looking man, but you know, there are very few Deans in the world. And so he had the mustache and then obviously shaved it off. And there's only one man. Ashley and I said this, uh um, we did like this recap forty News and we said this that there's only one guy in the franchise that can have a mustache, and that man is Dean, and Dean is allowed to have that mustache whenever he wants. Um. Thanks,

I appreciate that. I'd say no, uh, I'd say Ben, And then I guess those are like my two very front runners as of right now. But it's also I'm just basing this off the last episode, so who the hell knows what's gonna happen. You know, it's funny because I've got it. I had a man crush on Ben too. Watching the season. I was like, oh my god, he's so cute. He seems smart while spoken, he's like super invitation.

I like Ben, and then like the more I watched him, and then I think I like creeped his Instagram and uh, Cayl and I were sitting right next to each other as we were doing all this, and I was like, I started getting major f boy vibes from him, and uh, obviously it takes one to know one, you know, So I think that speaking from experience here, Uh, but I do agree. I still think he's probably my front runner as well, but I would try proceed with caution were

in the atatious shoes. I agree with you. I like Ben, but he does seem to just say the right things way too much. It doesn't seem authentic. It seems like he's not playing a playbook, but like, you know, saying what he thinks he should say, which I guess is okay, because you know, when you first start dating someone, you just want to, you know, make the best first impression

you can. But unfortunately, within the bachelor world, because everything is so sped up, you need to kind of just let that part go and just dive right into a relationship and not worry about any type of first impressions. You know, you want to know what I really like to that I think is maybe an unpopular opinion. Is I like Ed oh, I like it. Well, I like that. I just wish you would let go of whatever the Chasing feud he has. Yeah, well, that's thing. I think.

I dislike Chasing so much that I like, I like, I'm empathizing with Ed's wolverine, Baby Wolverine. You don't want to see Wolverine. I can't believe you did the clause I met Chasing. Very nice guy, but dude, I cannot believe you did the clause. He legitimately you don't want to see the wolverine, and I was like, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm surprised he didn't like that. I figured love Man would like that more than anything. Dude, I love Logan, Hugh Jackman, big fan. But my god, could you imagine

if I I love Man? That was so cringe worthy. That was so bad. I'll never forget that. That was obviously a a a partnership decision. Let me just say that wasn't me alone, Love Man. Jesus Christ. Oh god, hey, I think it was a great I think it exemplified you in and well perfectly, and unfortunately it did. Unfortunately, once people met me, they were like, oh, yeah, this totally makes sense now that dude is that dude is love man? But but yeah, I agree o Ben, Uh,

it is my sleeper. I think Bennett obviously has to be in there because he I think he went to Harvard or something, right, Yeah, he's too much of a big character to be let go. Now he has to like at least make it top six. Yeah, but it'll be interesting to see what happens. I think, Uh, because this is your first season that you've actually like cameoed on the main season, right, because you've been on Bachelor

Paradise a couple of times since then. I know that, but yeah, Paradise, but yeah, this is uh the first time yeah, we ever did a bachelorette Uh cameo. It felt cool. It was just you know, I'm assuming that they can't get the actual celebritisy, like so they have to go with previous cast members because of COVID and quarantining. You know, Ashton Kutcher is not going to quarantine in the Bachelor bubble to make a cameo, you know what I mean. So, but for all those days you quarantine too.

It was a flat fee. It wasn't much obviously, but that's besides the point. Like just being asked to go back. Is I've for Ashley and me? What Matt, there's most it's just cool that, you know, not to rub it in, but we felt we felt pretty cool. Dude, you and Caitlin are definitely gonna get asked back. Okay, that sounds really cool. It sounds like you guys had are really fun time. Um, all right, well, we do have a couple of great guests coming up. Like we said, next up,

you know her you love her from Colton season? Is that what we said? She's also on Winter Games, she was on Paradise, She's been on all the show's big hit fan favorite. But I think she was on our season. I take it back, Oh, she was on our season. That's my bad. I misled you. So our season Bachelor, Winter Games, Bachelor in Paradise. Yeah, I'm just gonna blame you for that, absolutely as you should. She's coming up next.

We're gonna talk to her for a little bit. We're gonna see what's going on in her life, and then we're gonna jump to our Love Island interview as well, So stick around for that. We will be right back. Hey, well come back to help. I suck at dating all you suck Army. We have a very special, wonderful, beautiful guest who is on the line right now. I'll tell you my wife, Ashley speaks of this person so highly. I'm not joking. I mean, it's Bibiana, but be Beyona,

I'm not joking. When Ashley says that you might be the prettiest girl that's ever been on the Batchelor, I swear to god she said this before, so it's beyond a Julian everybody, thank you. That's her reach. Because I feel that the ladies that go on this show are all extremely beautiful. So I love Ashley so much. She's like the best hype girl. I know you guys, I know it sucks. I wish you guys hung out more.

I know you lived down in Florida. Um, because you were obviously on Winter Games, a season that I don't speak of. But that's okay, But you guys became really close throughout that experience. Yeah, Ashley was awesome. Um yeah, we won't get into Winter Games. Yeah. Oh no, it's all right. I'm just teasing. Um. So how are you what are you up to? How's life? I'm good? I mean,

life is life is going it's just funny. I was catching up with one of the producers that I'm pretty close to and she's like, how are you, And I'm like, I am twenty right now. Um, it's just like lots of ups and downs, normal stuff. I have like really good weeks and in other weeks it's just like one does this year end, Oh my gosh, but overall very good and healthy, so I can't complain good. I see you. That's the big takeaway too. As long as we're staying healthy,

that's the most important thing. Right, How are you guys doing? Oh, we're doing well. I'm actually so Like I said, I see that your Christmas tree is up. We're putting ours up currently right now. Uh. It's a it's a big tree though, so it's taking a lot of extensive work. But it's a it's a family uh situation. We're all putting some work into this, except for Ashley. She gets away with it. I don't know why. It's ridiculous, um, but but we're doing well. I think it's the same

thing to twenty. Like, it's just so many ups and downs, and it's crazy because even when this year ends, I see it on TikTok all the time, but I kind of believe it a little bit where everybody's like counting down the new year. It's like three to one, round two, and it's like, yeah, I don't know if this is gonna end in twenties. So hopefully, I'm I'm hopeful that like once the weather starts turning in spring summer of one, we're gonna be back into some sense of normalcy. I

agree with that. I don't want to be the grant or anything for you guys, but I just want to refresh your memories, maybe the listeners memories as well. It's only November. It is actually of this recording November, and uh, what are the Christmas trees doing up already? That's my question, bro, It's get into the holiday spirit. Just because it's doesn't mean it's a holiday a year long. Yeah, when we

have we just want something to look forward to. And uh, my sister actually has she has three Christmas trees growing up. I'm going up. I'm at my sister's house. This one's already decorated. She has another one by the dining table, and she's going to put another one by the entrance of the house. So I mean, I guess I respect the festiveness of it. But my family really loves Christmas. Like for my dad's birthday last year, his birthdays in July, we had a Christmas lunch where we degraded a tree.

We hosted like a Christmas dinner. It's just like they love Christmas. This is in July. You're saying, so that's like kind of like a half Christmas. Yeah, they love Christmas six months. It's a six month countdown to Christmas. Bro get with the times. I don't know. I've never been a big fan of Christmas. I don't know why, really, I guess, yeah, I don't know. I guess uh. I think maybe the lack of a nuclear family has made me kind of just shy away from the Christmas celebrations.

But that's not to say I'm not happy for you guys forgetting your trees up. I do love a good well that created Christmas tree. Jared was saying, he's got all these pictures of himself or I'm sorry, I like Ashley Lauren when they were kids. Uh, we U see that same thing. We always had these like ski passes from when we were like toddlers that we would hang on a Christmas tree that rows really funny? Uh, but I don't know, but be hones, do you have any

fun decorations that you put on your Christmas tree? Your your sisters, I guess, and my sisters are so type A they want to make sure everything's perfect that I kind of just asked, like where should I put this? Because every time I feel that I get involved, I do something wrong. So I kind of just let them take the lead, like you guys decide. They picked the theme, and I'm like, how can I how can I participate? Um?

Because both of them were like mom mode, like everything has to be perfect, and my god, maybe I got a question for you. So you are. For the listeners that haven't listened to last week's What a Girl Wants, go check that out because Bibby hosts that episode of What a Girl Wants for us. But Babby, I want to talk more about what you discussed on that episode because you talked about a lot of you, like your emotions post show. Right Yeah. I co hosted it with

a girlfriend of mine, Brittany Burger. She is a fantastic like motivational speaker, and she's also an author. She wrote a book when she was twenty five, and she just has like all this energy. Um, and we just kind of dove into like dating, what are deal breakers for us? A lot of what we talked about how to do with like when you're dating and energy, just like following your into relation and then things like do you agree of your like your boyfriend having a best friend of

the opposite sex? You know, like those type of topics. Um, what do you guys think? I'm always curious to like pick a guy's brain on this. It's a very complicated. Uh. I agree. I agree, it's super complicated. I mean you ended up with your best friend, yeah, I mean I did. Now. Funny enough, my other best friend is also a female, and she's the one who signed me up for the Bachelor,

but she's far more of a sister. I find that you are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex as long as your partner is also friends with them as well. You can't, like I've heard situations where like a guy will be friends with a girl and then the wife is not allowed, like isn't really close with the girl, and there's like some weird animosity there because they're both females, and it just creates always a bad situation.

So I find that if you have a friend that's the opposite sex, make sure that your partner feels comfortable with them, that they're friends with them as well, and then that usually smooth things over. Yeah, I agree. I've always been an advocate for having friends of the opposite sex. I I think you can kind of go both ways.

It's like, let's say you're dating someone and you have a best friend or like a really good friend who is the opposite sex, and the person that you're dating like starts to say that they're not comfortable with you hanging out with them, then in my opinion, it's kind of like, well, like a you should trust the friendship for what it is as a friendship, right, Like I don't saying why you would not let me or whoever it is hang out with someone just because of your

own in securities and so like that kind of to me is a red flag for the relationship rather than like discontinuing a friendship over it. Um. But that's just my take on it. Like, for for instance, I have a really good girlfriend back in l A who is also friends with kalin Um, And I want to say, like when I was younger, I would be fearful of, like I wanted to hang out with her because of just I don't know, upsetting my girlfriend or whatever. But as I've gotten older, I've been able to, I guess,

distinguish everything a little bit better. But that's I guess that's just my take on it. I think I think they're okay. I think the totally permissiool as long as, like Jared said, communication is very is paramount, uh and as long as your significant other is also friends with that person or maybe not like best friends as you would be, but like at least like cordial and friendly enough to where you kind of like know what's going on at all times, you know what I mean? Yeah,

I I agree with that. I had a partner last year. The guy that I was dating last year, he had many girlfriends that he was really close to, and I

never felt insecure about it. I also think it's like his approach to it, where as soon as we met, like it was around other friends, and he was really comfortable with like bringing me along to anything that he did with his best girls, like his best friends that were girls, or like even if he took he took a trip with one of his girlfriends to go visit her,

and I never felt uncomfortable at all. I think it has a lot to do with like how confident and the guy is in setting those boundaries and welcoming you into those friendships. Um, it's kind of what you just said, like it's totally permissible, it's okay as long as you know your partner is included in it. I've only felt insecure in situations like that, where and where it's like they've been intimate and they're still communicating and it's not

really a friendship. It's more like just the lingered, like you know, situation ship that kind of just like they're still holding onto some like sexual feelings kind of thing, right, Right, Those are the times where I'm like, well, is this really a friendship if there's like any type of sexual chemistry between the two of them and they're being weird. No, no, no, no no, that's a red flag. That's something that you

need to put a squash too. Yeah, And I think it's hard as women to kind of identify those boundaries with like not feeling like damning crazy like I don't want to be the girlfriend. But I guess in my situation, I've had experiences where yes, my my partner had a lot of girlfriends and I never felt uncomfortable. And then I've had a partner that still carried on relationships from his past that weren't actual friendships and that made me

feel uncomfortable. So as women, sometimes it's hard to like, am I following my intuition? Like how do I set these new boundaries without him feeling that I'm trying to be controlling? Because that's not what I want out of a relationship. You know, like you want to be able to have your partner feel like you can be free and you know, have these friendships. But I think at certain points, like if your guy isn't coomfortable with welcome you into these friendships, and there's like, I don't know

about that red flag mm hmm, massive red flag. So we talk about that, We talk about um sleeping on the first date, if it's like a good thing or a bad thing, mainly just because like I feel like as women as well, like sometimes it's a double edged sword.

I think guys can get away with it a little bit more and then just energetically, like we don't think it's a bad thing if you're if you don't want a relationship and you kind of just want to mess around and like figure out what you're doing in life. By all means, welcome it. But I do feel that sleeping on the first date or really early on in your relationship when you're trying to call in or manifest

like a partner, can be conflicting. So if you're trying to like have a boyfriend, you kind of have to set your boundaries to figure out like whether you really like this guy or not before sleeping with him, Versus if you just kind of want to do your thing and have fun, then totally like it doesn't really matter what happens. And I've been in I mean, I'm definitely have been in situations where I've slept with the guy early on and then a relationship comes from it. But

it's not really like the common thing, you know. I think like sometimes it's the exception. I've got a question for you, do you mind updating us on your current dating life? Yeah? So I didn't talk about it in this episode with What a Girl Wants. I was super reserved, but then I went on to uh, the almost famous podcast with Ben and Ashley and those two man it's just like whom you can't escape it whatsoever. They're pros man, they get you man like talk about and it's so smooth.

It's like I can't and I'm such a bad liar. And then when you're doing these like via zoom, it's just like I can't avoid this. I I am seeing someone. It's been really nerves like. I guess it's nerve wracking for me because my last relationship, I was super open about it, super happy and then very public, and then when it didn't work out, it was really hard to

take that hit. Um. So with this one, it really happened unexpectedly, like we met early on in the year, and then he doesn't live in Miami, so you know, he would come back and forth and visit, and then COVID happened, so we quarantined together. Um, and then that was I think really difficult for us because it was really lovely. It felt like basically a little bit of a honeymoon stage, but our relationship wasn't well established. And I guess this is why I can relate to like

setting your boundaries prior. You know, we kind of just like grew into really feeling like damn, we really like each other, and then I wanted to protect that, like I didn't really want to be so open about it because, um, I think I'm at the stage also where I'm ready to like take things slow to figure out, like, Okay, is this going to be a partner that I feel comfortable being public with? And also sometimes I feel like it's okay to not be public about everything. Oh yeah,

I couldn't agree more. It's crazy to how much it changes, Like you know, the remember like the term Facebook official of like what five is six or seven years ago that was like a big step. But then now all of a sudden, you have, you know, however many Instagram followers, and becoming like Instagram official quote unquote becomes an even

bigger step. And it's like then you become immediately tied with the person that you're like you're announcing your relationship with, and then if things don't work out, then there's like there's just like a whole weird process that you none of us are like equipped to handle. It's so crazy how social media has changed the dating game, because, like you said, if you're dating in real life, but you don't, for example, change your Facebook status from single to in

a relationship. I feel like it causes insecurities in the relationship because it's like, well, why can't you tell your friends or your family or make it public that we're dating? And then you're like, wow, I just kind of want to take it slow. And then and then it creates doubt in the other person's mind because then they're like, well, are you trying to hide me? Are you trying to

hide something else? Is there a reason why you're not making a public And it's crazy how social media has become this conversation and dating that just never was there before. I guess it's kind of good because it also brings it brings more light to people who are being sketchy within a relationship, because not only do you have to you know, be uh committed in a private way, but you also have to be committed in a public way. But it's just insane to me, you know. And I

guess we've been pretty lucky. I mean, I've been very lucky just because over the past few years, you know, being in such a public relationship, it's just you know, you're actually and I kind of, you know, had many conversations early on about like, all right, we're just gonna, you know, put it out there. But it's uh, I

think it's so hard. Um. I love that both of you guys have your like your relationships or public, so then it can just be something that you don't really have to think about when it comes to social media and makes it like it's just like a graceful transition because the whole world already knows you're together. Um, but even things like this is I mean, my my friend

might kill me for this. But you know, I was catching up with a good friend of mine the other day and she's been dating this guy or whatever, and just like naturally, you start talking about your best friends and the people that are involved in your life, and um, she noticed, I guess, like they talked about me and how was I was on the show or whatever. She noticed that he started to follow me. But I've never

met the guy. So she's like, I don't know, it like made her feel uncomfortable, and I think it would make me feel uncomfortable too, and so I don't know. She's like, I don't know how to approach this because it's like such a my like it's such a like not an issue, you know, it's so trivial but now like navigating with social media and getting to know someone, and you know, I tried to really challenge her and

be like, okay, forget that it's me. What's really at the core of like why did this actually really bother you? But essentially it's just like what do you like, how would you feel if a girl is like, hey, you just started following one of my really good friends that you haven't met that like I just told you about, and it kind of made me feel weird, like what

do you guys do in that? Like, oh, I it's so funny because uh so one of Ashley's friends ex boyfriends now um was always in the mix and would you know, watch the show or you know, kind of know people through Ashley and me, and then he'd follow them and a lot of them are are single girls from the show and like you said, all the girls that go on Bachelor are stunning, and so he would follow some of them and then like some of their

pictures and it always made Ashley's friends super uncomfortable because it's not like you're doing anything wrong because you're just following somebody, but like, why why are you following? Why are you liking like bikini photos. I don't know it was. It's so weird. It adds such another layer to dating that's already such a complicated issue. You it's exhausting. I

I'm glad we're all in relationships. Yeah. So I gave myself a rule early on last year, well at the beginning of this year, really that like anybody that I met, I wasn't going to try to find them on social media because I think that we can perceive all these things like what if there's an old girlfriend picture, like all these things and like all like red flags that pop up to you that maybe you're just making up based on past experiences in your own insecurities. So I

made it a point. I'm like, I'm not going on this guy's instagram. If I like somebody, I'm just not going to judge and based on like what they post or what they do, I want to get to know this person or whatever. So I have this rule, like don't follow him on social media, like don't look at

his page, because then you start to style. And this is something that I've experienced, and it's so hard once you open the gates of like trolling, like I mean like when you just like go deep down into this you find out who that person's second grade science teacher was. It's a nightmare and it's just like, why would I expose myself to this? You know? So I have like my partner now, I do not follow him on Instagram,

like he's not very active on there. But um, it's something that I implemented in the beginning and then just felt like, you know, maybe it's my own fears attached to it that like, in the event like something doesn't work, I just don't want to go through the whole like,

oh now I have to follow him. But more so I think it's based off of just respect and then sometimes you know, being someone I'm not saying that like I'm relevant anymore, but the fear of just like that social anxiety of someone like knowing and like having this opinion. I mean, hey, Caitlin and I don't follow each other on Instagram and we're happily a year and a half into our relationship. So really, I think I think you're onto something. I think that there's something to be said

about a minute. You don't follow Klin never have, never will shut up? Does she follow you? Nope? Shot, I'm I'm I'm fact checking this right now. Look, I I

agree with everything is Mayby is saying. It's like all you all it does for you is get yourself in your own head, especially in the beginning stages like now, sure it would be a little bit different because Cayleen and I have like a deeper understanding of each other, but especially like in the beginning, all you're doing is like setting yourself up to kind of get in your own head. Uh, but yeah, I don't know. I agree. What do you What do you find Jared? Oh my god,

she doesn't follow you? Holy because I looked at her Instagram first, because I'm it's very believable that you don't follow her, which she doesn't follow you. Wow, it makes me feel less alone. I love this. We just totally start a movement like don't follow the people you're you're dating or you like, and beyond beyond that too. It's it's especially people uh that have a mask to follow

in any sort of way. It's like, let's set you and your partner get on the rocks and like you guys unfollow each other for a short amount of time. Then people recognize that and they're like, oh my god, there's trouble in Paradise whatever. But like if you never follow each there in the first place, it's like no one's got any basis to like make these audacious claims about Um. So yeah, I think there's some method to the madness, Baby, I think you should keep it up.

I think there's uh. I think it's a good move. But for the listeners out there that want to get more Bibby and why wouldn't you be sure to check out her What a Girl Wants episode to check out Baby on Instagram. If you're interested in dating her, be sure not to follow her because that is not the method anymore. But Babby, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Thank you for being the host of What a Girl Wants this week. Um, it's good to

hear that things are going well for you. Thank you for having me. Guys, it was really good to see both of you. It was to take care stay safe by guys. All right. Well that was Baby from The Bachelor, Bachelorinner Games, Bachelor Paradise. We've always talked about that. Be sure check her out on What a Girl Wants that aired the other day. Stick around, we have a Justine and Caleb from Love Island. Coming up next, we'll go back to help I suck at dating. Of course, I

am joined by Dean unlearned. We have two wonderful guests that are on the line on the zoom line right now. Now you watch their love story unfold on Love Island, which just wrapped up season two in the United States. Uh. It is Justin Dieba and Caleb Corporw who won Love Island season two. Congratulations, guys, thank you so much for

joining us. Thank you, Oh my god. Of course, Well, my first question obviously, I'll do Justine first, because lazies ladies first, of course, what was your experience filming like? And did you really think you were going to find love on Love Island? Um? So, I was definitely hopeful that i'd find love on Love Island. I came in there so ready. I was like, I love love. I'm passionate about love. So I was like, I'm ready to go in there and find the real thing. Um And yeah,

I just like, I was super hopeful. I was not expecting to actually find it, but I was hol how about you, kale Um. I definitely did not expect to find it. That's kind of last thing I thought would actually happen in such a short amount of time. Um, but it was a wonderful experience, like going in there and getting close to someone in such a short amount of time. That was awesome, but not what I expected going into it. I gotta I got a question for

you guys. So I'm not much of a reality TV watcher, which is funny because obviously the only reason all of us are here is because we all went on reality television. Explain this format for Love Island a little bit. Jared said that you guys won, But what exactly does winning? Uh like constitute a hundred thousand dollars? Really? Well? And was a thousand dollars split by two and Uncle Sam? I? Yeah,

but which you were very sweet to split. I mean that was like the least dramatic moment on the season, though, because we all knew you were going to keep the money. Did that thought even cross your mind that you were going to keep the hundred thousand dollars and not share with Justine? There was zero percent chance of me keeping any of the money. I would have gave it all to her before I split it, just because I know that America would have just dragged me. Sure, I wouldn't have.

Thankfully that wasn't option, because America honestly would have been mad if I split it. Instead, they're giving it all to her, So I'm glad that wasn't even option. So what what makes you guys the winners? Then? Did you have to? Like? There are the couples on the show? I would imagine, right, is there like some sort of competition format or something near the end that you guys were able to beat out the other couples for or how does that work? Yeah, so towards the end, America

gets to the vote on their favorite couple. Got you? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm so far out of the loop with this stuff, even like Bachelorette. I haven't watched any of that stuff. I'm just slacking. I know I need to get like the cables and scripture in the I know, I know, I'm very fraudulent. Well, the thing is, I don't have cable in the van, so it's like, what am I supposed to do? I gotta your I got e Leonan Jared to keep me updated. He's been keeping me in the dark on all this stuff. Lives in

a van. It's a very big thing. I literally just found this out as you said it aground on that real quick gup of time. Yeah, well we'll jump into it maybe off air. I'm sure Jared's got some more questions too. I got some questions for you guys too. So you guys both said you were open to love. And that's funny too, because I feel like a lot of people that go on Bachelor, Bachelorrette are very similar.

They're like, well, I'm open to the idea, but I just want to have a fun adventure and see what comes of it, too, And that seems like what happens with both of you guys too, right, And so you guys are still together, right? Yeah? Why why are we recording in separate separate households? It looks like, well, if this was in five hours, you could do it in the same spot. But my flight doesn't leave it for

another two and a half hour. So so, Justine, you live in Jersey, right in Caleb you live in l A. Yeah, So have you guys talked about move? Yeah, because I I read that you guys when you guys left the show, I assumed that your boyfriend girlfriend, But you guys have said that you're not right and coming out with the heavy hitters. Just I'm coming out. That's what I do. There's no jabs in my game. It's all right hook. It's one right hook and that's it. Yeah. Well, I'm

headed to see her in Jersey tonight. Actually, we're gonna meet the fam. You know, you gotta get that blessing in person. We're gonna meet with friends. We're gonna go on a normal date without cameras and microphones. Um, and now we can start taking like normal steps in the right direction. We don't want to recount ourselves in anyway. So we were like, let's just take this one step at a time. So that's what we're doing. No, that's very smart. I mean you get out of experience like that.

I mean, Dina and I can relate where everything is so heightened and dramatic. I think it's probably best to just take a step back and slow things down. And it's a good way to start by meeting the family. Yeah, I'm a little nervous, but I think they'll they'll show me some love. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a good call around. Caleb, I'm creeping your your Instagram right now. You guys are a very attractive couple too. I just had to pump that out. Um. I got

a question for you guys both as well. Is there anything that you kind of came out of the process having learned about yourselves? Um, because you kind of get put through the pressure cooker, right, So is there anything that you could look back on and be like, oh, I learned this about myself during that time. Yeah, I mean I definitely did. Um. I know you guys didn't really like watch it, but I had a pretty hard time in there. So I was like struggling with watched it.

Oh well, I didn't see the whole thing, but I saw most of it, and I saw pretty much a lot of what you guys. I saw your My favorite moment is when you, guys, obviously Caleb, you told Justine that you loved her and wherever the Nevada somewhere? Is that like the Grand Canyon? Where the hell Arizona Grand Canyon was? Yeah, so I'm sorry to interrupt, just in continue please, No, it's okay. I'm glad you watched some

of it. Um. So, I actually had a really hard time early on in the beginning, and so it kind of, you know, I took a few gut punches, Like my self confidence was really low, but UM, I was able to just kind of get my confidence back learn a lot of self love coming out of there. So that was my biggest thing for me leaving Nice love it. What about you, Caleb, what did you learn about yourself

going through that process? UM? I think, like heading into the process of like even trying to be casted for the show, like you're, I was, you know, kind of

like a heightened version of myself. UM. And I walked in there with what going into it, I like perceived this confidence, you know, UM, But then when you go into like a controlled environment where you're constantly like talking about your emotions and feelings, which is not something I would usually get in the past, UM kind of revealed that like that with was an area that I was

lacking confidence in. UM. Or when you have to cover yourself up with baby oil and rip your pants off in front of millions of people at home watching it, you know, that's not something I would normally ever do. But because you're in there and you're in this control environment, you find like the courage to do that. So I feel like I walked out of there with like it just a total different perception of what confidence actually is and like have a better sense of like self assurance.

So how is long distance been? That's my question because there's a lot of people going through long distance relationships right now, and you guys obviously lived pretty much as far away as you can from each other. So what are some of the things that you guys do to make sure that you keep the relationship in love happy? What's you guys, Justine? What's you guys? If you from my phone right now, we're gonna um no, So we have a lot of fall calls, which is definitely helpful.

It's just like weird coming out of the villa too and having each other's numbers and being able to talk on the phone, like it's so new for us. But um, that's definitely the main way. We don't get to FaceTime a lot. You guys have an iPhone alright, Oh just stem Android for life? Why you gotta adapt, You gotta gotta get the iPhone? If nothing, but just to face time with galub right now, I'm going to see the only reason I consider it, But I have WhatsApp. We

can video chat on there all the time. But he hates it. Yeah, no, I mean I can see exactly why you guys are waiting to make the decision of whether you're gonna be a boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't know these things when you're on the show. You know, you found out she was an Android user on the show, and I didn't even know this live together for a months, didn't even know you texted. You text, the green bubbles pop up, and you're like, oh, I get myself into

their phone, not on what's going on? I can't, man, you know what's funny? So when I did started dating, uh, my girlfriend now my wife. Actually, we were friends for like three years before we started dating, and it was always very easy to talk to her. I never felt awkward.

And then as soon as we started crossing from friendship to relationship, I started awkwardly texting her like I was overthinking everything I was saying and I and I was like typing something and then thinking to myself, that's so stupid and erasing it and then typing something different. And then I was like, what am I doing? I've known

this girl for three years? Why am I so awkward? So, Caleb and Justine, I was curious if you guys kind of went through through something similar because obviously you went through this intense experience where you told each other that you love one another, and then you get back into the real world and you're like, oh, like I don't even know how to text someone and I've already told him I loved them, So did you Like, was that kind of like, for lack of a better term, just

like mess with your mind a little bit? I mean, yeah, we're going through it right now. Like just even you on the topic of texting. You know, we have only interacted up until this point, um, face to face. Every single one of our conversations had been face to face, and then it was until we left that we had to talk on the phone. It wasn't until we left we had to decipher each other's text messages. Um, And like we're having to just figure out a totally differently,

a totally different way to communicate. Um, I'm a really really really bad text or I'll take the blame for that. But like even just before um, we hopped on this, I was it was like six minutes ago, Like I haven't talked to in a few hours. Let me at least pick up the phone and caller. So it's not like we're just seeing each other's faces for the first time, you know, on this call. So like this there's no we don't have like a consistent pace yet, but like

we're trying to figure out as we go. I think we're doing okay so far. Just no, I think we're also definitely figuring each each other out in different ways. Um and just like I think the biggest thing for us is like reading each other's tone through text message. So a lot of the times just tell me when you're up, Like, I like, I can't read your mind. So it's one of those things where it's like I tend to overthink some things and then he's trying to read my like mood or tone over text message. So

I think that's definitely the hardest part. And I'm like, we need this trip right now, Like we just need action again. It's so funny too, because it's so contrary to how it normally is. Like out in the real world, you basically are flipping it backwards. Whereas if you guys met in real life, you would like be texting each other and calling each other before you really knew each

other that well. But in this case, you guys got to know each other really well, just face to face for the whole month that you guys, you know, you lived together, like you said, and now you're forced to kind of like kind of not even like take a step back, but just like learn how that person operates on their phone, which is a big part of a relationship, especially along distance one. You know. Yeah, so yeah, I can see that's a challenge. I've got a question for

you guys. How did you guys both get on the show? I always love a good like origin story of the person and how they ended up on the show in the first place. Was it your friends, your family? Did you put yourself up for it? How did that all happen? I think her story is a bit better than mine mine. Yeah, um, yes, we'll judge that. I actually applied. One of my friends was like, Justine, you crushed this, like you'd be really great.

I was like, I mean, say, last, so I put on the application and it's not that great of a story. They picked me. But I think that the same person that chose Caleb and the person that chose me. I think it was the same person, was it not. Oh yeah, we got casted by like the same person, Yeah, the same casting producer. Yeah, very cool. They knew, they knew that you guys were going to be America's favorite couples in heaven in Hollywood. Hollywood was in Hawaii. Yeah, we're

in Vegas. We're on They turned the Cromwell Hotel has Drey's Nightclub on top of it. Okay, and they turned into a village film in last year. But everything going on in Love Island turned into Love Vegas. But you know what I mean. If you're ever going to find love in a place, isn't it nice to do it in Vegas? Isn't Vegas like you know, where everybody gets married anyway? For sure? I think it's our first time in So that's cool. First time in Vegas story for sure. Yeah,

that's really cool. Where you met somebody you fell in love with and who knows what the future has in store for you guys with Justine Caleb, we can't thank you enough for coming on. We really appreciate it, guys, America's favorite couple from Love Island Season two. Now, of course, you you guys are on all social platforms YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram.

You can follow Justine at Justine Joy three one two, and you can follow Caleb again on all the same social media platforms at c x CEO underscore explanation point, how did you get that user name right? There's no exclamation point that might just oh oh, that's just the end of the sessions for me. Never mind, no explanation point just at c x c oh never mind, very cool, Justine Caleb, thank you so much for Thank you guys. It's so crazy. I'm so excited to meet you guys. Yeah. Likewise,

Caleb travel safely out to Jersey. We're looking forward to some updates from you guys. Yeah, thank you guys so much. We appreciate it. It's good being here, of course. Best of luck. All right, welcome back another episode of help I Suck at Dating in the books. But before we go, Jared, I know you are just itching to get to something over there. So what do you got for us? Well, we have an email, and I have a dating term. This dating term actually is brought to you by Plenty

of Fish because Ashley and I have been doing this dine. Addition, we do dating terms with with plenty of Fish as well, and uh, this one, I thought it would be interesting to see what you would think the definition of the dating term is hey and pray, Hey and pray, Hey and pray? Tell me, is it h e y and pray or h a y? Oh? Wasn't it's pray p r e y p r a y like jumping in the hay or finding a needle in a haystack. No, it's hey, h e y like hey and pray. Is

it like pray or is it like pray like praying mantis? Oh, like pray like you're about to be eing. No, it's pray. So it's p r A y and hey, h e I y Okay, Well, Hey and pray must be then I'll take this one first. Guys. It's got to be just like, uh, you know, when you're drunk and single and it's two AM and you're going home and you just basically fire off a bunch of U up texts the hay and praise that same method, you're just uh shooting had a bunch of hays and seeing how many

bites you get back. So it's like the spray and pray method is you just kind of close your eyes, shoot from the hip and see what you hit what you hit. The hey and pray method has to be something similar. You fire out a bunch of hays from the hip, which everyone's land. Then you kind of go from there, Mark, what do you think? I mean? I

agree with THEE and I also it's funny. I also saw this as h a Y when you first read it, so I was thinking, you hit the hay with somebody and then and then you pray that it turns into something more than what I stand. So that's where I was going. But the h E y and pray. Yeah, I'm with the and this is just putting it out, putting out a bunch of hayes and praying that something comes of it. On dating apps, right, Yes, you guys are obviously both correct hey and pray. I'm trying to

get the official definition. But it is when you send multiple haze and never hear back, so it's like, hey, hello, how are you? What's up? Where somebody, like mostly this happens with a guy will send like six or seven text one person to one person before the other person responds, so it's just your thrown haze out there and you're praying for a response. I feel like guys do this too much, like listen and you send a text out

there if she doesn't respond. I think you give it like a day or two, you send another feeler out and if she doesn't respond to that, cut it off. Question for you both, how many Hayes do you drop until the praying stops? I think Jared's right. I think it's two. I think I think any more than two. It's like with the text when when your whole, when when you can fill up your iPhone screen and everything you see is blue, you need to back off and let that person respond or give up. Yeah, it's two max.

If you start doing three or four, you're gonna be labeled the stalker, whether you are or not. So just send out one, like swallow your pride, send out a text, and then if you don't hear anything and you really like this person, send out another one. And if they don't respond, I'm sorry, it's over. I I wish I could tell you something more optimistic, but it's over. You might have lost the love of your life. I don't know, but she ain't texting back, all right, Jared. I got

a question here from Sydney. She wants to know Dean and Jared if you were the bad slurre out of the thirty plus contestants, how many of them would be considered ex girlfriends. So I think she's saying, like, after the fact, after the season has done filming, you're engaged to your fiance or whatever, how many would you consider to be your ex girlfriend from the show. It's maybe too most likely just one, most likely just one. I mean, all right, let me ask you this, d both of

us were fourth. Do you consider Rachel an ex girlfriend? Yeah? Sure? Why not? We mean? Sure? Why not? Is it a yes or no? I think I do say it, uh, But I say it kind of like comically, you know, because I know in my heart of hearts that it's not that she wasn't uh, And I don't consider that, but I just think that it's it's just more it's funnier to say that, you know what I mean. Uh, But I do agree maybe one, maybe one other, but I think even one is a stretch. I would say

I wouldn't really consider any of them. I'm sure Rachel doesn't look back and think any of it. She's got any ex boyfriends from our season, and I'm sure Caitlin doesn't look back looks at for Sean obviously, but I don't know. I'm curious if Caitlin will consider Nick and ex boyfriend. I think she would because I think when you have top two, those are pretty intimate relationships. And I think Rachel if I mean, I can't speak for her, but I'd be curious if Rachel considers Peter an ex boyfriend.

What do you think you're friends with Peter? I would be shocked. I would be shocked if either them considered each other their own exes. Like if Rachel considered Peter and ex and Peter considered Rachel. Well, I guess I don't know that I say, I could be mistaken, but I would still I'm leaning towards saying that they don't consider because especially like you come out of it and Gage,

Rachel is now married to Brian. It's like, I don't think that she would ever consider her like origin story of how she met her fiance while she was also girlfriends too, you know a couple other guys on the show. I think it's just like she's always dialed in on Brian. Interesting. No, no, no, that's a good take. I like it. And that was also a question from Sydney, who's an avid listener to the podcast. US we appreciate you Sydney, you're awesome. Uh. She's d m to me a couple times on Instagram.

We've talked about the podcast and how much a fan of a fan she is. So thank you Sydney for the question. We really appreciate it. Uh. And I think that will do it For this week's help I Suck at Dating. Uh. Big thank you to Bibiana. Make sure everybody, if you haven't already listened, go check out What a Girl Wants. It dropped last Thursday. It's a great episode with Bibiana. She's fantastic. Big thank you to Caleb and Justine from Love Island. We wish them nothing but the best.

Big thank you to you Dean for being awesome. Uh. Big thank you too, Like we said, Sydney. Uh. And I guess that's really it. Um. So hopefully everybody out there has a great and safe Thanksgiving UM, and make sure you tune in next week, where hopefully we all suck a little less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast.