Jared Bares All

over my head or something. I'm not really sure, but hopefully Eastern are wonderful editor and producer will be able to fix this audio up a little bit for you. Dean is Uh. I gotta be honest, I don't know where the hell Deane is. I think he's in Alaska. The WiFi is not really that good, so I'm hoping that he joins us at some point throughout this podcast. But we have a very special guest that we're gonna start right off the top with. It is Uh. You know her from Naked and Afraid of Love, which is

on Discovery Plus it is Britt with more Britt. How are you? I'm great. How are you doing today, Jared? I'm doing well. My wife is tapping me on the show. There what could you possibly want to. Okay, by bye, oh Brett, oh god. So well, this is what happens when you're married and your wife is pregnant and you're opening up a shop and all chaos comes in. But dogs, so just fair warning. She may bark, she may see her. Oh that's fine. I missed my dog so much. My

dog puld be so much pleasure. I wish she was here right now. Um So, Britt, tell us a little bit about yourself. I know that you're from Seattle and you're now living in Los Angeles though, right, yeah, so I'm actually from North Carolina. I did not claim Seattle as my home. I was like born and raised in North Carolina, true Southern girl to her roots. Still have all my southern like all the things southern. Um. But

I lived in Seattle for seven years. I moved out there to work for Amazon, and then, um yeah, just like a month ago, I moved down to l A. Which is kind of crazy. It still feels weird that I'm here. Well part of a Hollywood hills. Okay, so we lived in West Hollywood for about are in a half years. I love West Hollywood. How did you like it it? I'm not an l a kid. I'm such

an East Coast guy that it just wasn't my vibe. Now, Listen, it has a lot of perks, like walking in front of the Chinese theater and as a as somebody who loves movies, you know, that was super cool being in the city where movies are made. That was awesome, But everything else kind of sucked. Yeah, you know, I went to Santa Barbara yesterday for a concert and the traffic. I was like, no, I don't think I'm ever going to be okay with this. No, it's the worst people

drive like here, Oh, it's the worst drivers. Everybody's like, oh, Massachusetts have the worst drivers, in New York has the worst drivers. No, Los Angeles has the worst driving I've ever dealt with in my entire life, because not only are they bad drivers, but they're just so self absorbed, as if everybody should just revolve they're driving around them, those sons of bitches. I'll tell you you, thank you. Finally, I've been like, there's so entitled, like over in front

of you. Listen, I'm getting aggressive though, so I'm fitting in perfectly. The only way you can drive out there, so naked and afraid of love. Tell us a little bit about it. Why do you want to go on this show? Yeah? So, I mean in terms of the why, I think I had honestly tried everything, so it was like, why the hell not? Right, someone was like, well, let's get naked and meet strangers. Okay, like that sounds interesting. Yeah,

and it sounds like a Tuesday Nights right right exactly. Um. So, and I was more so intrigued to by the fact that they strip everything away from you. So like some of the other shows like The Bachelor, which you're aware of, um, they add things, right, so these like extravagant dates, the alcohol, like all of that stuff, which is fun and gives you almost like a false sense of what to expact maybe, um. But with this, they take everything away from you and it's not fun, Like it was not fun for the

most part, hurt um. But it forces you to be in a situation that's of course physically very vulnerable. You're completely nude, um, meeting strangers. But then also like I think that that physical vulnerability also kind of forces you to become emotionally vulnerable too. Um. And so I was, yeah, I was intrigued, and I was like, sign me up. Let's see what happened. So you're legitimately naked on this show. That's a question I've always had about naked and afraid

as naked like nothing sitting in the sand. Do you have little crabs, little sand crawling in places where they should not be crawling. Um, it was very uncomfortable, like very uncomfortable. So do you think you kind of addressed that? You feel like it actually helps you confront things You have to like bear your soul as much as you're bearing your skin. But do you think that that that, like seeing the other person fully naked helps or hurts. Um. Honestly,

it became the norm. So it's like walking around you see people with clothes on, that's the norm. Seeing people naked was the norm in this environment. So I don't know that that like you just get like you just get used to it, If that makes sense, I would be cowering in the corner like there was to give you. There was a date on my season at the Bachelorette.

It was a sumo wrestling date and all the guys had to wear I forget what they're called, but they're like thongs pretty much when you go sumo wrestling exactly, but it's legitimately like a thong. It rides up there. So I was I can't tell you, I was about to throw up because I was so nervous that they were going to put me on this date and that everybody was going to see my hairy ass. And I was like, this is I'm not joking. I was talking Actually, Ben,

Ben will be fully honest about this. Ben Higgins, who was also on our season of the Bachelor, rette him and I were about to go upstairs and quickly like shave as much as we possibly could down there, just because we were so nerve. Is that like we're going to put this thong on? You know? I listen, I it's no one would describe me as having like a big booty, So like I was terrified. I can only imagine going on this show and having to be naked all the time. I don't even know if I'd be

able to speak, I'd be too insecure. Listen, you know, I think in the beginning, there is obviously that level of like this is super awkward and uncomfortable, like do I look what if they catch me looking? But like you want to see what you're working with. Two So it was like this like conflicting moment where I didn't know what to do, and uh yeah, I think that

you just you just get used to it. But I will say it was a moment and I will never forget this where I'm hiking through the jungle and I'm like going up this hill, I've got the cameraman behind me and like my goodies are just all in their face. I remembered in that moment that I was naked, and I got so uncomfortable, so uncomfortable because I'm like, oh my god, they're seeing all of the bits and like

way that know what's ever seen? I know, I guess especially for a woman, that must be kind of creepy. If it's like a guy cameraman who's just great there up in your business. I mean, it wasn't creepy. I wouldn't use that term. It was just like it was a reminder that I was naked. All the The crew was phenomenal, like they made sure that we did not feel uncomfortable, Like it was like they were extra cost that's cool, that's good to hear. Yeah, like they did.

They did a really really nice time. They were naked as well. It was so much fun right right, we were all just naked. Um, No, they weren't, but it would have been interesting if they were. I feel like, if there's like another season, they should do that. Yeah. It's kind of like, what's the type of acting that

they call where you just fully immerse yourself into the character. Oh, I don't know the world anyway, you know how Like they have stories about like whether it be Heath Ledger Jared Letto as a joker where they acted like the joker on and off camera. It could be like the producers are making it afraid. They're like, hey, we're fully we're committing as a producer here, we're going full nude. I would appreciate that. Has this changed your perspective on

dating at all after dating naked? I think so honestly, Um, I think that because I was so still like backstory, I'm not one to be super vulnerable and open up quickly, Like that's just not in my character. I'm a little bit more reserved. I like to I don't want to say play games, but like I like to keep them guessing,

you know. And I think that this kind of showed me that it's okay to put all your cards on the table and just be extremely vulnerable and open up, um about one what you want, your boundaries, like your trauma that you've hopefully overcome or that you're working on, and just put that all on the table, um, And it tells you very quickly whether or not someone's going

to be a match. And so it's kind of changed how I date in terms of like I'm just gonna put it all out there and if that scares you away, okay, goodbye, right, But if not, great, let's see like what could develop from this. And so it's just made me more comfortable with being vulnerable. I think, what are you most afraid of about love? Oh? God, how many time you got all the time in the world. Um, I don't know.

Like love is just such a tricky thing. I think that it's a huge risk, right, Like you're putting yourself out there and you're trusting that this other person is going to be there and like put themselves out there and and match you, right, like reciprocate your feelings, and there's a risk that they may not. And that's devastating.

And I've been there, right. Um, you know, my last X we were together for three years and I showed up every day giving a hundred percent if not a hundred and ten, and I was lucky if I got six from him, And the way that it made me feel about myself, like it took a toll on my confidence, um, like my character, Like I became someone that I didn't recognize anymore. And I think that that's it's scary, and so I think that's one of the biggest things that

kind of frightens me about love. And then it's also like, well, what if I meet someone and I'm like, oh my god, they're amazing, that's kind of scary too. Yeah, it's terrifying because then yeah, you're you're not that your happiness is in their hands, but a big part of it is. And that's terrifying, whether people want to admit it or not.

Like I'm all for obviously being happy for your own like self happiness and self love, but at some point, like, yeah, happiness does come from you know, a significant other, which is why we're all looking for love and looking for that partner. So, um, yeah, what do you what do you look for in in guys? What's your some of the pros and cons? What are some of the attributes you look for? So somebody was like, hey, I want

a day, Britt. What should they be doing? They need to be funny, Like I have a pretty witty personality, and so if they don't get my jokes in my sense of humor, for just not um. So that's like huge for me. Another thing smart, I'd like to have really in depth intellectual conversations. Um. And then I would say also like someone's driven and successful, like I have worked really hard in my career and I continue to drive and push myself, and so I need someone who

has that same energy. But like someone that's playful. We can go adventure like ride our bites. Oh. One thing that's a huge, huge need for me. They need to like the same music that I do. What music do you like? Kind of like indie vibe? So like last night I went and saw My Morning Jacket UM in Santa Barbara. And so I just need someone that can like go to shows with me, like I love going to any live shows, meet festivals. Would the Smiths count

as indie? Okay? I love the Smiths? Yeah, the good stuff. Yeah, I have some great playlists I can share with you at some point. Oh, I would love that. I love like my wife makes fun of me all the time. But I'm a big indie coffee house. Like I'm the most basic person you ever going to meet. But I love it. Music is my love language, Like making playlists. If I make a playlist for someone, it's like yeah, and then you're in. If we get there and I sent you a playlist. How old you? Okay, so you're

my age? So you remember like burning CDs for people? Oh my god, Yeah that was the best. Like I actually really missed that. I'm so funny. Actually, when I was home a couple of years ago, the last night I was almost like two years ago. That's really sad, North Carolina. Home in North Carolina. Yeah, in my room, my parents like haven't changed anything. I looked under my bed and there's like a ton of just like burn CDs.

This is phenomenal. Oh, it was the best. I remember in my car, I had the CD you know whatever you call it, the when you put your CDs on the rear view mirror, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, oh my god. I had I'm not joking, probably like thirty six CDs and they were all scratched up because I would always pile them on top of each other and it would just be like nineties eighties alternative like work out. So it's so good, so much better. I

missed those days. Oh it's the best. I missed something tangible, like, don't get me wrong, like having music on my phone is the coolest thing ever. But like burning a CD, putting a CD into a CD player, even like DVDs, like having something tangible in your hand. God, those are the good old days. These kids. Now we sound really old. It's like all these kids they don't know these days. They're so young. To the vinyl game player and like my vinyl collection is growing. Oh yeah, does it actually

sound better? I think it's done. But you have to have like a decent like I invested in a good record player because I love music so much, and I have good speakers, and so my sound quality is like top notch. I can't imagine, because I hear people say that all the time, like all the records sound so much better, and like does it really sound better than

a bluetooth speaker? Okay, here's one thing I will say about that really quickly, is that you're listening to the album in the way that the artist intended you to listen to it, which is very It's very cool because sometimes you can pick up like I love lyrics, you can pick up on like stories and themes. It's it's really cool. It's a whole experience, all right. That's fair.

That's fair. I can understand that one. You got it. Um, So I want to know too about what do you think the best experience or thing that came from the show, obviously going on Naked and Afraid of Love? And what do you think the worst either part of the show or what came from the show, Like the best thing that came from the show, and then the worst. Okay, I'll start with the worst because it's actually something I'm experiencing now and you may be able to relate being

on reality TV as well. Um, the level of scrutiny and just kind of like people are mean. So now, most people are great. Most people are great, and I think you'll experience this as well. Like people are but there is a loud, very loud minority who are just mean and suck. They sucked so bad, listen, I had to like literally delete Reddit off of my phone. My eyebrows stop their own subreddit. I have great, thank you, and everyone is dissing them, and I'm like, oh my gosh,

it's a good thing I'm confident with my eyebrows. Otherwise that would be really personally. Like I say, that's that's been challenging is coming off of of the show, um and just kind of you know, seeing what's on Twitter and and that kind of thing, and just help harsh people can be totally. Definitely you need some fixkin to

be a public figure. Yeah. And one thing too that I'll add to that is, you know, there's hours and hours of footage when you're filming, and there's a lot of things that don't make it on air that, in my opinion, are important things that I wish made it on air, and like their character building and developing, and so I feel like it doesn't always do a person justice what I'm seeing on TV, which kind of sucks. But that's the reality of it and that's okay. But yeah,

that's one of the things I'm struggling with. And then, um, one of the good things that came from it is I developed some great, like long term friendships, like really and truly Nelson best friend. I love him so much. Um And yeah, and I've made some really good girlfriends from the show as well, and so I think that, you know, we have this like it's like a different bond, you know, And so yeah, it's it's really cool to

see that. And then I learned to just trust myself and my gut, my instinct um, and I learned that who I am as a person is pretty cool and I to be ashamed to put on my cards on the table totally, you know, coming out of that and having that mindset. Yeah, I totally relate what you were saying about this certain bond that you have with people

that you went on the show. It's like camp, you know, it's like going to you know, a month long camp with with your friends or people that you have met, and you go through this like really crazy, unique experience that no one else can really understand besides you who went through it together. And that creates a special bond, which is what happened with us on The Bachelor and with you and they can afraid of love. So I

totally understand. That's definitely the best part about Like I agree, coming out obviously married and meeting my wife is incredible number one, but number two right behind is like the friendships and you know, the people. So I I think about my wedding all the time and the people that were there and the people that like I met from the show, whether it be producers or cast or people on different seasons, and it's like, man, I have this entire life that just came from Bachelor and you know,

and now you as well. Yeah, which is crazy because it's like I would have never imagined this from my life, like our past would have never crossed. I am so so fortunate that they did because these are some of the like realist friendships that I have, which is so weird to even think about. We didn't know each other at all, were strangers, you know. Is it weird to say that now some of your closest friends you've seen naked. Yeah. And it's so funny because Nelson without my apartment. He

lives in l A as well. And I was like, let's go to the pool, like do you have your so suit? And he's like yeah, and I was like cool, I'm going to change real quick. And I like was hiding behind the door and I was like, you've seen everything that is crazy. It saw me at my absolute worst, So it's like who cares at this point? I know, it's so funny. You ever see Seinfeld? Oh yeah, okay.

All I can think about whenever I think of naked is afraid is the time that Jerry's girlfriend always walks around naked around the apartment and like she's like she's like fixing a bicycle and then like cracking pickles, and he's like, she's a beautiful woman. But sometimes you shouldn't be seeing the things that you see when someone is naked. And then like he starts walking around naked and she can't stop picturing him like looking like a gorilla because

he's so hairy. And I was too like with with potential partners seeing you and your actual worst. Like the man I dated for three years, I would have never wanted him to see me in the condition that I was in and we lived together, um, and so these people see that you're absolute worst. So it's like if they accept you, they are they are real. You know, Like I still feel uncomfortable standing just like fully naked

in front of Ashley. It's like it's just I wasn't I wasn't meant to be seen like this, you know. I know I should embrace it, but it's just one I think I mean, obviously, I'm I'm also attracted to women, so obviously I think that the female body is much prettier than the male body. But I also yeah, it just is. But it's just also like I'm less like

I'm like flexing or like feeling good about myself. Like I can imagine just like sitting there letting my gut hang out and like, all right, this is me, Ashley, take it and leave it, um, but hey, it's a but like you said, it's it's great to be vulnerable and let go and like, you know, if they love you at your worst, then they're gonna really love you

at your best exactly. And I think like that was one of the biggest things on the show was like listen up, We're seeing me at my absolute worst and like really uncomfortable, like a place that I'm not familiar with, doing something that I don't have a lot of experience and totally and if they like, like that's a huge deal, that's awesome. Well, Britt, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. We really appreciate it. Everybody who's listening.

Again on Discovery Plus, go watch Naked and Afraid of Love right now. Britt whitmore. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure. All right. Well, back to help by suck At Dating. We're going to rename this to the Help by suck At Podcasting because we're big struggle struggle bus today. No Dean still he's a nobody knows where the hell he is. His phone's off, text messages are going through. I think he's alive, that's the most important thing, obviously,

But he's not here. So what does that mean? What does that mean when your texts come back green and there's no location in the find my friends which we all are connected to Diana, And like, what does that means?

He had an airplane maybe or he just needs he has no service and he's far from He's definitely just I think he's It could be either he just doesn't have service, because you don't have service on a plane, which is why it doesn't go through, right, But it seems like bad planning because we do this every Friday at noon. It's pretty much that's been the case for many years. Have you met Dean bad Planning it's his

middle name, Bad Planning. This guy, it's unbelievable. Like, honestly, when we were talking about this, I was like, Oh, this will make another good Instagram video about him not showing off, and I'm like, you know, I'm tired of making these. Video is the son of a Bitch? It's cute the first ten times and then it becomes uh and I feel bad. I'm currently holding a bag next to my microphone because I'm in the back office of the coffee shop and it's very echoing, and poor Easton

has to try to make this sound great. Oh God, this is gonna be bad anyway. When you have some hot topics though, if you guys want to listen to some of those this week, well, what else can we know about your little cafe there, because that's that you're that you're there, Well, thank you so much. I would show you around, but then i'd really mess up the entire podcast equipment. So it's gonna be called Audrey's Coffeehouse and Lounge. My mother in law is named Audrey. I

also just love the name Audrey. I think it's very It's what we're going for because the concept we're going for is a cafe that's very comfy and comfortable where you can come in and either get a coffee or a martini because we will be serving alcoholic drinks. And we have a stone fireplace in the middle of the of our establishment. And you know, I really want people to be cozy, but also, um, so that's like what I love about Audrey's. I feel like Audrey's is just

a very cozy, comfortable name. And so we'll be a coffee shop that turns into a martini bar at night. Um. And it's all painted right now, and we're getting furniture in and we had our my electrician in who was a little bit early. Who's my cousin. It's the most Rhoe Island literally, like my plumber, My plumber is my cousin's friend, my electrician is my other cousin, my painters, my uncle. Uh. It's just like the most Rhode Island thing ever. But I love every second of it. Um.

And so yeah, it's coming along. We just got the espressial machine put in and that thing is massive and very expensive, but it's cool, man. It's I love every aspect of doing it right now, opening a coffee shop and and turning it into our business and you know, really putting our fingerprints all over it, like For example, Audrey's obviously spelled a U d R E y apostrophe s, but within the logo instead of an apostrophe, it's a rose, so you know, obviously nods to the Bachelor there. And

we'll have odds to the show at the shop. That's so cute. I want to go to it. This is exciting. Yeah, we'll have an I heart you know how sometimes we go to like Vegas or tahow you guys come to South Kingston, Rhode Island, where we'll have a live podcast. When you open up, are you going to be like behind the counter, like slinging drinks? See that rules because like if I go to like Dick Kiss restaurant, I

expect Dick could be there, but he isn't. But if like I'm a Bachelor fan, I can go to Audrey's and meet Jared. And you're trying about want like that rules? Or if you're a help I suck a dating fan? Oh yeah yeah. If you're the stuck Army, yeah you can go meet your fifteenth favorite podcast host. Uh, but you should have a suck Army discount. There should be some sort of if you say I am suck Army, you get all you do. It's like a password. You just walk in and you say suck army, and you

immediately get fifteen percent off your entire bill. Oh Riley, oh Riley just said it suck Army merch in the coffee shop. Hell yeah, you only here's the issue on I want to get your feedback on this suck Army. So I wore my suck Army beanie in front of my father in law and he was like, what's that? And I was like, Oh, we call our you know, audience members suck army because our podcast name is helped I Suck at Dating. And he's like, oh, I thought it was like a dig at the army. I wouldn't

wear that out. And I was like, hum, I never really thought about that. And so do you think people when we say suck army or like, oh screw you guys, you don't like the military. Yeah, I think it's a problems problem, it's or it's a very intimate way of supporting the troops if you think about it. Yeah, you know, he could go the other way. That's true. We could be really loving our troops in one way or another. Yeah,

we might have to change that. We might have to make an executive decision because I don't want to like people walking around being like you don't like the Army No podcast anyway. But yeah, I will be Dicka. I'll be Dick a sling and drinks back here. But I'll be fun, dude. I'm so excited, like I'm going to

be part of the management. Might like in my ideal world, in the first six months to a year, I will be here a lot, and then you know, hopefully, knock on wood, it becomes so successful enough where I can kind of step back and take just more of an ownership role rather than an owner an operator while still being at the shop. Of course, right well, they'll they'll have to check the website and see which Audrey's locations here will be appearing at this week exactly ideal, Ideally, honestly,

we would. I would love to open up, uh, like a few different establishments with different concepts, like I'd love to open up a sports bar obviously, and just like have Tom Brady paraphernalia everywhere. But like I've already did, I've already thought about I know you're shaking ahead. I've already thought about like drink names and food items for example, I'll give you a little tidbit here. So we thought that this was before Brady won his seventh so we

might have to change things a little bit. But we were thinking about calling uh a beer flight for sports bar six rings and what you can buy these fake super Bowl ring. I have a pair and they're really cool. They're like forty bucks for all six of them, and they're pretty heavy, and we're gonna infuse them to you know, little glasses that you get with beer flights where you get like two ounces of each beer, and so you'd get six different types of beers with a glass that

has the super Bowl ring infused. You have to put your finger in the super Bowl ring and that's how you drink, and it would it would be called six rings. So that's pretty cool. I'm not gonna lie. And then the other one, we're gonna have sliders. We're gonna have four sliders, and you can do branding on the burger

obviously and make it like a little design. So we were gonna have a Celtics of Bruins, a Red Sox, and a Patriots one, and then each one was going to have like, uh, the Bruins slider would have a lot of mustard on it, so yellow the Celtics, one would have relish for green, and then you know, catch up for the Red Sox, and then we do something blue for the Patriots. You know. Affleck is going to be in there all the time. Oh my god, Ben Affleck. If you're a part of Stuck Army and you're listening

to podcast, please come to Audrey's anytime. You don't get a fifteen percent discount, you get a hundred percent discount. You will eat free at audrey has been Affleck if you come in and bring j Lo. I am looking for to a lot of podcasts where it's Jared going like, welcome back to help. I second, sorry one say no, we don't have aboute milk? Sorry one second, guess you know, And welcome back to this week's We're out of lactate okay o refrigerator. Yes, welcome back to help my second

two cappuccino on the left. It's exactly what's gonna be happening. It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be like Dean whenever he records a podcast, because he just records a podcast in coffee shops all the time. Anyway, all right, Well, I guess we should talk about dating a little bit. Huh. We've got some hot topics here, um, older women more vating younger men, and vice versa. The survey says that of women are open to dating someone ten years younger than they are, and nine d percent of men are

interested in dating someone ten years older than they are. Jared, how how many years older than you have? You got? Um? Not too much? I actually no quite. I would say, are we talking like flirtation or are we talking actual like dating hooking up? I think we're talking dat gone out on a date with? Okay, because I've definitely flirted with some older women, like trying to get with them, um, not just in a fun way. What was I gonna say? Yeah,

I'd probably say dating. I'll tell you a story. One time I lied about my age, which was not good. I said I was eighteen. I was actually seventeen and she was like twenty three. Yea many years ago. It was my own fault. It was very stupid of me. I apologize, but that would probably be the biggest difference. So about six years, I guess I'd say, how about you boys, I've gone three or four years? I do remember a story. I was at a friend's wedding and there was a friend of their family, and I want

to say she was there. She might have been his mom personal trainer or something. I forget what. She was very tan and very fit, and she was also a guest at this wedding, and she seemed to be very interested. And so I was probably twenty and I feel like she was probably closer to forty. And I don't know that for sure, because I was twenties. So she just seemed old. Who knows, she's probably twenty nine or something, but she just seemed old, and I want to say

late thirties or forties. And it scared the hell out of me. And as lovely as she was and and and fit, and and I enjoyed the flirting, she really tried to check her to the next level. And I went and hid in my hotel room, and at one point the phone rang in my hotel room and I did not answer that because I was scared, cowering in the corner. Yeah, so I never went any further with her, but I did date three or four years, nothing much.

For a while. It was all older. I thought that was kind of my thing, but then that flipped at some point. My wife is seven years younger than What were you so scared of? I don't, yeah, I think so. I think yeah, I think she's just scared me. And I was. I think her aggressiveness scared me too. Well, she's an experienced woman. I I dated a woman that was let's see, I was seventeen, she was twenty one. Um,

what's that for? And then I've had one one night staying in my life and she was ten years older than me. That was exciting. Uh and um, but I have, you know, my first when I first got a job at a radio station. My very first day, I was told to go to a cougar night and it was like a dating event. It was for older women and younger men. And I was supposed to go and like report on it for the morning show. And I was, you know, I was like a horny twenty one year old.

I was like this, here we go, baby, like, we're gonna get this go and uh. I went and it was all older women that were looking to meet other older men, and I was like trying to lay it on, but they weren't having any of it. And there was a few like you know, like middle aged men there and they were getting all the action and it was like, what the hell is going on? This is this is

like not what kugar Nights supposed to be. And uh, I realized, at least in my town, it was like they would have these like dating events that were for like like oh, this is cougar night. Uh, this is like um like uh for athletes, and like this one's for artists. Yea, I crashed sugar Night. But like the same people would just go to all of them. It didn't matter if they fit the criteria. It was just

like a bunch of people who wanted to meet each other. Um. So yeah, ten years older is the oldest I went. And we didn't date, but we had intercourse and it was fun. It sounds phenomenal. Yeah, it's a good time. You know. What's funny too, there's something about age differences because like everybody will talk about guys dating younger girls too, Like you know, there's always like the old grandpa who's dating like a twenty five year old whatever because he's

old and rich. So I don't I think it just goes both ways. But like I don't know, I kind of like the idea of guys dating older women. I don't know. Well, that's the DiCaprio of the world. To the guy. You know, there's a graph that goes around to social media where you see his age, which goes up in a diagonal line like all ages to do, and then the ages of the women he did, which is a flat line across the bottom of the graph.

DiCaprio can do whatever the hell he wants. The Yeah, he doesn't get a lot of a lot of them. Do we think when we see a when you see younger woman with an older man, you always think, oh, the guy, the guy's rich. Uh. And then but when you see a younger man with an older woman, like,

what's the what's the vibe? You get? Yeah, not like a oh that guy like has some kind of edible thing going on or like and you think you see someone older, whether it's a man or a woman with someone significantly younger than them, I immediately think, Wow, that's they're obviously rich. Sugar mama, sugar daddy. You know interesting. I uh, I mean I get in there with you. Well, I think it's for me. I always think that when it's the older man younger woman. But when it's the

younger man, older woman. I take pause before I think, before I think of the reason. I definitely, like my mind definitely thinks it's grosser when an older guy didn't younger woman. But then when a older woman dates a young guy, I'm like, good for her, right, it's not. It's not as pervy as you. It's like cool, yeah, because I think that like men naturally, just like men have a men have a power over women just as it is, which is society and which it's like messed up,

but that's what it is. And I think when there's an age difference to it's like another level of it. And so it always I know there's a lot of consensual age different relationships going on out there, and I wish them all the best, but it does feel manipulative. But I don't know who am I to judge? Everyone's different. YEA fair point. I mean, what are you gonna do? People date? I don't know, but I've always found it pretty Love is love, Love is love. Ashley's nine months

older than me. I like that. Yeah, so my wife's six months older than me. We got some all right, here's the hot topic. Um, this is not on your sheet. I just pulled this from something else. Alicia's silver Stone. You know, we all know she's on Riya and she

has a rule on first dates. Her first date rule is no alcohol because her mind goes to sexual time after a few glasses of wine, and she says that like when she is with a guy she doesn't like him very much, she has a few drinks, suddenly she likes him a lot more, and she doesn't get an accurate opinion of who this person is because of the alcohol. So the question for you, fellas is did you have a first date rule? Did you have have rule on

first dates? Maybe it was something you always wore, Maybe it was a conversation you'd stay away from her or try to get to the bottom up with this person, or maybe it's alcohol. Dude, if I ever saw Alicia silver Stone on r Holy like talk about, I mean it was pretty much Alicia's Silverstone And to Panga, those

were the two big ones in the Pink Ranger. Those are the big that was the Holy Trinity right there for Jaredy but as a young man the Pink Ranger to Panga and Alicia Silverstone from Clulus and as Eastern just referenced back girl I mean, Jared, there's a part in Batman and Robin where like they're showing a computer like scanning her body for her costume, and it's just like a three D model of like her like somewhat

naked body. I remember that was like the most erotic thing I'd ever seen a dude, that shot they showed her but getting into the costume like they did with Val Kilmer and George Clooney. They oh my god, dud. When they showed Alicia Silverstone, I was like, Holy hell, this is the greatest moment in my life, and even earlier.

Oh my god. Now we're just gonna go into like, you know, eight year old Jared's fantasy, that part where you first meet her and Batman Forever and she just comes from the school and she's got like the skirt on with like the Britney spears look pretty much, and she's like trying to peek into the window and Crystal'donald's like, I love you. Oh my god, dude. Anyway, if I everyone on a date with Alicious, I'm pretty sure Ashley would let me go on a date with Alicius Silverston

right now. She'd be like, oh, just you know, make sure nothing happens. But you guys can totally to hang out because it's gonna make your life. Um, are you put off at all by some of her quirks? Like wasn't there an article that she um when her kids were a little she would shoot their food and spit it into their mouth. I know nothing of this. I don't want to know any of this. I just I'm gonna just completely be oblivious and just la la la la la, and just focus on the peak Alicia's silverstone

years for For myself, this is all for selfish reasons. Um, shoot it up. And you know what though, I think Jade did that. I think Jade does that, like choose it up and spits it into her kid's mouth. So I'm not going to judge. I don't know. I don't think. I don't know if I'll be able to do that anyway. I digress what we're talking about now. I'm so focused first date rules. Hers, there's no alcohol on the first date. Did you have any first date rules back when you

were No? Did you guys? I don't think so. I think that's more for women. I think guys are just like happy to have a first date and whatever it happens. Yeah, I had like things I did out of superstition because like so much of it I thought came down to just pure luck. Um. But no, I didn't have any like I guess. My only rule was like, if I get to choose the first date, we're playing minuture golf. That was my rule. Yeah, I do like that, even though study came out recently that women do not want

to play a minuture golf. I learned that the hard way through many years. Uh you know what I never did on first dates because I was terrified of being caught. I never brought a condom. Yeah, smart, because I was always terrified that I'd open my wallet and then that would fall out and then the girl would be like, oh, so you're obviously expecting something to happen tonight. So I never did that. My only rule is ordering food. You gotta be careful ordering food because you don't want to

get something that you're gonna spill on yourself. You know you're not gonna get ribs because you look like an idiot eating ribs. No one looks cool eating ribs. You have to factor in your order your entree something you can look kind of sexy eating. Yeah, I agree, any type of yeah. Yeah, I don't know what that is either, but yeah, most definitely stay away from ribs, any type of finger foods. I feel like messy finger foods. Wings. No,

get the hell out of here with wings. But also don't don't order a salad like like, if you're going to get a salad, get like a souped up salad, you know what I mean. That's fine. If you get like a cob salad with chicken, perfect, fine with that, but like, don't get a side salad for dinner. You know, let's eat. Yeah, sure, let's see that makes sense. All right, let's take a quick break. And then we got some emails on the other side, and who knows, maybe Dean

will be here for him. Hey, welcome back to help I suck at dating. And we've got some emails Mark, would you mind reading them? Certainly. Veronica has listened that she has a proud member of Suck Army, and she has this to ask, do you think hating your significant at others parents is a deal breaker. I've dating my boyfriend from with a year now and I still don't get along with his parents. They never ask any questions about me or try to get to know me at all.

I get upset when they bring up his ex girlfriend who they were close to. I've talked to my boyfriend about and he stands up for me, But at the end of the day, they are still his parents. Feel like my relationship with his parents won't improve, and I don't know what to do. I picture a future with this guy, but I just keep thinking about how I wouldn't want them to be my in laws, and I don't know if this is a deal breaker. This sucks. I could never imagine not getting along with Ashley's parents

like that would be. I could not imagine it. We're just too ingrained in each other's lives. The idea of just not being able to be myself around these people home. Man, that sucks, and it is a factor. I hate saying it because I wish I could just be like, oh, love conquers all and it's all gonna be fine, and

as long as you love each other, that's all that matters. Unfortunately, that's not all that matters, Like family dynamics matter, you know, because I feel like, if you don't get along with her parents, uh, like, then it's it's gonna cause resentment, and I don't know it's tough. I'm not saying in the relationship, but do whatever you can to improve the relationship with the parents. Suck up, keep sucking, keep sucking up. Let me finish that statement. Sorry. Is there any chance

of moving into a different part of the country. Is there any chance of them moving to a different part of the country. I don't know this is bad because, again, like tered said, that would be really uncomfortable. I love spending time with my in laws, and I don't know how I would deal with it otherwise, So I think it is a potential deal breaker. But I wonder what There's a stereotype that we turn into our parents, right the guys turn into their dads and and women turn

into their mom's. Have you guys found that to be the case to think there's any validity to that. I think Ashley is becoming. The more time I spend with her parents, the more I see Ashley in her both her parents, you know, personality, traits, mannerisms, so I think. And the older she gets, I think the more she becomes. Honestly, probably like I probably like her mom. I've always felt

like she was her dad. But the more the older she gets, the more she becomes her mom point is I agree with that statement, right, And and when she asked kids, I imagine that would just get even more so, so I think you got to ask yourself that, can you see yourself being married to his dad? He's gonna

become that guy over time? What do you think? I always think like if you really really love this guy, like you know, you can have a world where the in laws like aren't that don't play a big of a role or But I just think like that's gonna be a hard thing to ignore. And and once you have kids, I think it's going to um amplify because I'm just picturing like they're gonna have comments on how you're raising you know, like they're just gonna be around

all the time. Uh So I gotta yeah. I don't want to say it's a deal breaker because like I feel like it can be fixed. Um, but it's gonna take effort on both parties. I know it's definitely gonna take effort. I think there has to be a certain if you really want this relationship to last, I think it's going to take a certain level of respect by both yourself and the in laws to you know, be cordial with each other, but maybe not be bestie besties.

So like, unfortunately, Veronica, you're probably gonna have to swallow your pride a little bit when you're around them, and when they like say snarky comments or like backhanded compliments, you're just gonna have to be like, oh, okay, that's fine, and then just like vent to your friends about it. What I would say is definitely don't vent to your boyfriend because that is his mom and dad. So like, yeah, but he's gotta be he's gotta stand up for her.

He's got to be her biggest cheerleaders, got to help them come around. It sounds like they had a real attachment to the X. Yeah, maybe they'll get over that if if, if they if she becomes the one and they realize that she is the one, maybe that'll improve totally. I hope so it better. I have hoped for this because maybe maybe I didn't understand the out correctly. But it seems like their offenses are that they bring up the excellent time and they don't ask about her and

don't engage with her very much. It doesn't it's not like they're actively being like mean to her right, Like, they're not like insulting her or like being aggressive aggressively cruel. It just seems like they're like not that interested in her, hung up on the X sill. And if that's the case, Hey, hey, email or I think you can be you can turn that charm on. You can make them fall in love with you too. I mean, you got the sun. How

hard could it be? Yeah? Pretty much what needs to happen, Veronica, because you need your boyfriend to put a ring on you, so they just like fully accept that you are the future. It is you, it is not the X and they just need to come to terms with that. So maybe maybe you know, some pressures on the boyfriend here. That's just true. I didn't think about how they're not like she's thinking about the future with them. But I think if he asks her to marry him, that could change

the parents tune quite a bit. You're you're right, Jade. Well let's see if I'm right. Usually I'm not, so, Veronica, take the advice with a grain assault. That's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? Please keep emailing us, Veronica, Thank you so much for sending us your email and please everybody, it is I suck at Dating at i heeart Media dot com. Ill said again, because I messed up. I suck at dating at i heeart media dot com. Please email us with

your dating stories. Uh. Any questions you have for us, You can of course follow us on Instagram help I Suck at Dating. Thank you to Britt Whitmore from of Course Naked and Afraid of Love, which is now on Discovery Plus. Check it out. Britt was awesome, great interview. Uh, please come back anytime. Hopefully Dean will I'm sure Dean will be here next week. I know he's got some I think he's gonna Laska right now. He's got some bad WiFi, So make sure you tune in next week.

We're myself and Dean will be here and hopefully we all suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast