I Used to Be a Cougar with The Bubbies

back in studio, which is very exciting. He's finally in Los Angeles. And we have an amazing guest who's sitting right next to me, Blake hortsman and ladies and gentlemen, a man who truly needs no introduction at all. It's nice to have a fellow single person on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's right. Oh my gosh, you're always at number two to one. And then Easton is married, Mark is Marion. Come on, it's nice that we have more numbers on the single side now, but you know what that means.

You just gotta go back on paradise. Why are we are we doing? No, let's tell Blake, we don't have it for you too long. But what's going on in your life? Blake? Are you dating anybody? No? I am single right now? I am I am. I am great as being single. You married, you know, trust me, I live vicariously through Dan. Now. The only person you have

to worry about is yourself. You don't have to worry about what people are thinking, what other where, other people want you to be at any time, what you're cooking for dinner. That happy relationships are not supposed to be like that anyway. But Blake, I want to ask you, so, since you're so close to Jason and he's dating Caitlin, has Caitlin tried hooking up with any of her friends? Uh? No,

actually not really. No, Now that I think about it's kind of bitchy of it, kind of think about it ridiculous. Have you been because she lives in Nashville, right, Yeah? So have you visited? And I'm sure Jason's been to Nashville. Yeah, I've been out there twice with I'm actually in Nashville hanging out with him. So she's just holding out. She's not introducing you to any of the friends. No, you don't, I think Jason's actually trying took me up with some

of her friends. But now I think about a kid, nobody from the Batchel franchise. I don't just try to hook you up with. I'm trying to think of anybody that comes to mind, and even would anyone in the Batchel of franchise? Yeah, I mean I wouldn't. I'm not like against stating anybody about your friendship, you know, like open to it. So if you're open to everybody, you don't just I don't discriminate. We'll see, we'll see. That's a yes. There's a lot of time left three months

from now. Would there be any reason for you not? I mean, I'm not a big examlationship. Like I'm kidding myself. If I'm single, I'll probably go on about your parent. You gotta go hang out on a beach for a month. Everybody I talked to who've done it or not done it, like, yeah, of course they're gonna like why wouldn't I would do it if I were you? No, the first person I

needed was one person to say no, she's lying. And you want to know how I know he's lying because when you're down at that beach, you're going to see this down the stairs like two weeks after do it? Wow? Uh, just take take these words of advices, like, don't get yourself into a love triangle because I promised that one will come back and bite you in the butt. Don't pull it. You've totally totally I love that my name can now be an adjective for something that you don't

want to. Jason's calling in right now. Actually, should I speaker on speaker? Hey jays On, No, man, not much, man, I'm on the I suck a dating podcast. Say hi, hey Jacky Vanessa as well, Hey, don't forget about me. We're doing well. We're doing good man. I just kind of text message Dart and Bend and they're all like, so what are we wearing tonight? And we have to be ready pretty soon. So yeah, yeah, I'm at the studio, I mean the studio right now, and my car gets

there in like a half hour. So time you're only on live TV. You don't have to look that good. All right, sounds good, dude, I'll call you later to see Jason. Wait. So yeah, Blake Phillison on what you got going on? I guess this is gonna air on Tuesday, but Monday night you're going to be on the panel for after the final, so it's actually live tonight, Okay, good night, So yeah, I honestly don't. Yeah. So it's me, Jason, Garrett, and Ben and we're gonna sit down with Colton and

have a man chat. So at the end of the episode in front of a whole live studio audience, studio, right there we go. I gotta make sure I don't loosen up too much and started up in a bomb like I would beforehand, not five over the one. Do you think Colton's excited for this season to be over? So? I think he's just I think any lead it's like super excited for it to get over so you can be with the person. If he's with somebody, I don't know someone we all know he's marrying the fence. I

guess Vanessa is really the only one that's experience. Vanessa, what what was it like, because obviously you have to wait like three months after the show is done, however long it is, and then you can finally be public

with your relationship, right. I mean, I think my relationship with Nick was a little bit different because I was like more I was like really realistic about what we were going through, and I just wanted to like, I don't know it was it was, let me tell you, it was faking hard, and I I did not want to go on a far pretending as if like it

was all rainbows and butterflies because it wasn't. Um. So, yeah, I think it's like super exciting for Colton right now if he is with someone and I did message him, I'm like, dude, I have no idea what's going on with you. I've watched I've watched a few episodes. I haven't read any spoilers. I don't want to know what's happening. But whatever advice I can give you is this, just soak it all in and if you are with someone, make sure to nurture that relationship and not listen to

any outside noise. So Blake is going to be on a panel with him tonight, what advice do you have? Well, was this after we see whether he chooses no, no no. So that's true. That's a good point. I guess I don't. I think they just want I don't really know what. We're all friends, so it's just like a friendly see where the conversation goes to be Honestly, I think it's

they just want to. I think we're going to try and see where his head was at in that moment at the end of this episode, Like what happens in them in this episode. I don't want to spoil it for you, but but I mean, I well, I saw obviously the last episode where he jumped the fence and everyone was like, oh my god. They keeps saying it's dramatic. I'm like, listen, it's for me. Was the most romantic thing a guy could have ever done as the lead of the show. Like it, I want to go after

the one girl I'm in love with. I'm done filming, like I know what I want. Obviously, I don't know what happens. I don't know what happens in this episode, but I thought it was just and I hope he ends up with Cassie. I love different perspective on it. Ahead I was gonna say, I'm loving this unfiltered Vanessa, that's two f bombs you've dropped. So because I'm here, it's a lot of a lot of editing for east

and poor Easton over here. Um, I thought I see I had a different perspective, because I don't think he was running away because Cassie was leaving. He was, but I think he was really running away from production as well, because even in that that scene, they showed a couple of times where he was looking around the room, and it was very obvious that he was looking at producers behind the camera, even somebody's totally like even casual audience members were looking at like, well, is he looking at

producers right now? What's going on? So? And then obviously he's running away from everybody. It was it was an interesting moment. But Blake, I wanted to talk about you. Is it weird at all for you to watch this season seeing how close you were to being the Bachelor? Yeah? It is, Yeah, it is interesting to Yeah, I often put myself in the positions that he was in or you know, and I don't know, obviously it could have played out different, but um, I have PTSD watching it.

Like like he told me, so, I had the conversation with him about actually jumping the fence. I was like two to it, like when you got over that fence, like what you know? What happened? It's like I legitimately ran away like he hid and like they'll see they can't find him. They legitimately can't find him. Um, and I can relate to that so much, where you just want to get away, you know, you just want to go after the failed proposal. Uh in the Maldives, I

couldn't get off that island. I was stuck. They were playing enough that iland. I was stuck on that island knowing they were engaged, you know, down it was off. At this point, you're like three months in. Yeah, I haven't talked to your family, friends and that, however long I can only imagine it's. Yeah. Well so I mean basically because it was, it seemed like down to you, Jason Colton, Right, But so now what's even better for you is you have your pick of the litters of

the yeah that all my friends are inflationships. Well, I also want to get into a little story that has to involve Dean that happened on the Women Tell Law, because you can. I was gonna ask Blake if any girls has slid into your d m s. You don't have to tell names, but have any girls from you?

You know what it is? I bet you that they're they're they're afraid that if they reach out to you before Paradise and you're on there, and then they'll be villainized, because there's always that villain who reaches out beforehand and they talk and then they lie on the show, and I bet they don't want to go down that path. Then everyone do that, not just one like I'm sure I'm going to meet them, like I'm going to render

them at some point. You know, before before I went on Paradise, however, two years ago, I was very careful not to DM anyone beforehand ad because it's just God forbid you go down there, and then all of a sudden, the story becomes about you talking to beforehand, and now

you're kind of in this drama. It's horrible. But on the Women Tell All, somebody, I think it might have been Katie was talking about how Kalin's went into somebody's Yeah, I forgot about this, and they were using it as an example as to why Kalen's out there for the right reasons. Fast forward to the almost famous podcast last week, Kerpa goes on and says that Kalin slid into Dean's d MS, so deed, I'm not surprised that. Look at that face. Oh you're so sweet. Yeah, she's great. Let's

talk about it. I think, I mean, I want to just go on record and exonerate Kalin from all of this nonsense. That's nonsense that she's been part of because the dams were completely innocuous. They were like before she was on the TV show. She basically messaged me and said, I was in was that trip that I did Japan, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore blah blah blah blah blah, yep um. And she was like, hey, I was just on that same trip not too long ago. Like what are you doing copy

my trip? You know whatever? Oh with me? This is like back in July last year or something like that. And I go, yeah, ha ha, I'm copying your trip. And then I got to the point where she's like, hey, I'm gonna be in l A. Can we meet for coffee or lunch or something. It was like yeah, let's me yeah, And I was like, yeah, let's meet for coffee when I get back. Um, I'll text you when I get back in like a month or something. However

long I was gone for. I got back and then she messaged me again and she goes, hey, I'm actually in l a until Thursday. Um, I see you just got back on Monday. Like, let's grab coffee before I leave? Uh. I said, sure, let's grab coffee, and then I just never followed up. So it was just one of those things where we both kind of ghost at each other. Well, it was like it was a mutual ghosting. It seemed like she was probably going through casting at this point.

And I guarantee you the reason that she wanted to get coffee or go to lunch was just to kind of pick my brain about the whole process of going on the show, because at this point she knew she was going on the show. Um. Yeah, And I remember I was like she was a miss what would she miss? Alabama or something like that, North Carolina? And what's funny, actually I didn't even realize that she had deemed me until, um,

like maybe a month ago. I was hanging out with one of my friends, who is they're going to be working together in some capacity on the line, um, and my name got brought up in that conversation and then she mentioned to my friend how she deemed me a while ago. And then I went back and you can go to the messages, so I googled I'm sorry. I instagrams her profile and went through the messages. I was like, Holy, this is the girl that wanted to get coffee at one point, and I totally blew her off. And I

didn't even realize it. So you didn't put two and two together when you were watching the season. I had absolutely no idea. I mean, that's how many girls slide into the DM. I don't know if that's necessarily the case, but it literally was like we exchanged like five messages apiece, and so that's there was just no like I didn't necessarily remember. How do the girls know that she slid into her d M into my d M. Yeah, I think she can candidly talk about it because she knows

there was no foul play involved in any sense. It wasn't like she was like, hey, let's hang out, let's go get drinks, let's you know that kind of stuff. It was basically just like, hey, let's get lunch and talk about what I'm about to get myself into. Crazy crazy crazy. I mean, it's pretty funny. And then I feel bad because she's betting blown up a little bit thinking this was something big thing happened after the show

or whatever. Yeah, it was completely innocent. Um. And so I mean, I keep these articles written about me, like Kalen miller Key slides in the Dean Unglert's dams and I'm like, well, you guys don't even know the story. What's your last name? I think Miller Keys, Miller Miller Keys. Anyway, it's great, you're just on scuping in with that was I was feeling in Frotania. She had dirty duty in

would you? We talked about true story, all right, yet I was thinking about well because I was thinking about douche like deuish and French is like showering, So I was like, oh wait, but no, I'm talking about actual douching, like very informing. What type of contribution did you have to the conversation? Yeah, listening anytime I'm gonna have anytime I think of douche. Have you guys seen sauce party that's only think it's dirty, that's a dirty dirty. But

the dude she's bag like juice stop. Roy did douche and he's like he goes around to all the other groceries. He's like, I'm a douche. It's pretty hilarious. Yeah, it's very informative, and you if you ever call somebody douche, you'll have meaning behind because you after listening to that podcast, you probably mean you probably learned a lot from that. I stared a lot and they trapped me like I didn't know it's coming and got on the phone and

they'll do that started talking about that. We're all going to learn a little bit from listening to that podcast. So thank you for filling in with Scrubbling and guys, you can definitely check that out this week, and thank you so much for coming in today. We're very excited to see you on the Panels Light and see what you what advice you have to give to Colton, and we're even more excited to see you on Paradise. See.

I'm so excited for that because Jason is not going to be there because he's dating so well, that's the other thing. I don't need friends to go down there with anymore blank as someone that's experienced the season after his, you being the guy from your season and it's not gonna have to take a back seat to whoever like

the new guy is. I remember when I first saw you walk out and you have the horse, I was like this mother, He's gonna steal my spotlight, and I guarantee you're gonna have the same feelings, gonna be irrelevant and about Yeah, well, I think tomorrow twenty minutes. I don't bring out guys, starts to I'm just saying bad. I don't know. I don't think. What do you guys think? Is the next Hanna Beast? That's the rumor mill right now,

Hanna be Hannah By Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. Which hey, Blake this year type of all Hanna be Yeah, Oh my god, going the season again? No, dude, you mean Nick Vile second again? Or Becka Tilly or Becka Tilly. It did work out for those two. I mean they're pretty say no way, I'm not doing that nowhere. Alright, fair enough, alright, Bake, have fun to night, good luck. We look forward to see you on TV tonight for

the first time in a year. So cool. Thanks by the way, Jared, by the way, Dean, do you know who we have coming in next year? We have coming in now? You're gonna love these three lovely ladies, the Three Bubbies. They have a new TV show coming out. I heard about this, The Three Bubbies Trust me. You're not gonna want to miss this. But before we get into that, I want to talk to you guys about twenty three and me. You better talked about it in the past. We're going to continue to talk about it

today and hopefully forever because it's so so awesome. Basically, we live in a world where we have access to data that gives us more personal insights into who we are. What's more personalized than your DNA? Now we can turn to our genetics, four personalized health traits, and more. Twenty three and Me allows you to go beyond ancestry to access more personalized insights about you based on your DNA, and with more than a hundred and genetic reports, you

can even gain insights about your health traits and more. Totally, there's so many reports. There's one report called deep Sleep Report. Now, if you've always suspected that you feel more sleepy than others after missing out like on a night's sleep, you might not be imagining things because your genes could be involved. They also have this alcohol flush reaction report. You hear about this one ding that's the Rosa show one, right, Yes, it is, so does your does alcohol always turn your

cheeks red. But I have some friends that it really strongly affects, oh well, very fair skinned people, and it turns so my cheeks get a little pink. And I hate it because anytime I take a picture, I can immediately see if I'm a little little tipsy or not. It's quite embarrassing. But you may have the alcohol I may have the alcohol flush reaction. You I don't have it. Personally, Drink all the alchol in the world and be okay, well, congratulate freely. I'm a tank. What can I say? Seriously? Oh,

I guess I'm a lightweight over here. But I can learn more about the genetic factors that make it hard for some people like myself to process alcohol. Uh. There's also that saturated fat and Weight report, right, So the saturated fat and Weight report can tell you about how your genetics may impact your body's response to your diet. You can learn if you're likely to weigh more on a diet high and saturated fat, even if you consume

the same number of calories. So it's super important if you're interested in health and obviously being as fit as possible and as healthy as possible. I think a lot of people just associate twenty three and me would just ancestry when it's so much more like you just said. It has a genetic reports where you can find out about your sleeping habits, how alcohol affects you, uh, you're saturated fat and weight report. There's just a lot of

different things that I can tell you about your body. Anyways, what you guys can do as our listeners if you want, if you definitely should, it's it's definitely worth it. Be sure to see what your genes can say about your health, your traits and more by your Health and Ancestry Service Kit today at twenty three and me dot com slash Dean. That's the number two three and me dot com slash d e a n uh Dean summers right around the corner. Yeah, I need to get in shape. Bachelor Paradise is right

around the corner. I don't know why that affects me at all, because it because you're gonna go on, not for your own enjoyment, It's all about everybody else's. Let's say, hypothetically, Jared, I were to go on Bachelor in Paradise, what advice do you have for me to get into shape? Funny you asked Dean, because getting fit and staying healthy always

sounds easier said than done. Am I right or right? Well, that's why open fit helps take care of all the complexity and it takes all the confusion and hard work out of losing weight and getting fit. It's a brand new, super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room as little as ten minutes a day. Everybody everyone's bodies are a little different. Open fit gets that it is personalized to your needs

with custom tailored original content. Open Fit classes are led by some of the most effective and engaging trainers in the world. Now these trainers know how to get your results quick. Jared Jared Jared Jared, Stop right there, Just tell me is it's simple. It's super simple. You can forget all the complexity and stress getting around getting fit and just press play and work out on your own schedule. Okay, fine,

it's simple, but is it convenient. It's so convenient you can view on your own computer, web enabled TV, tablet, smartphone and Roku. Mark you do these classes, don't you? I do with them a lot. I enjoy them, and you know when I do them. When I did them. Most of all is when we were in Wisconsin for two weeks and you can't go outside because it's tend togrees outside and you can't exercise, you can't go for

a run, you can't do anything. And I don't have a membership any gyms there because I'm just a tourist. So I would do open fit right there on my Google something or other. I can beam it from my iPad to the TV, and it was fantastic. Beam It is that like the technical term that sounds like star trek. It's like from the sixties, right, beat me up, Scott. I guess well, Dean, do you like yoga? Love it? Well? My favorite course on this particular open fit class is

Yoga fifty two. It's the perfect way to lose weight. This honestly sound like the perfect way to lose weight, build strength, reduce stress, maybe reshape your body by taking a deeper dive into yoga, Jared, And it's changed the way that I've worked out, And you can use the code. Guess what the code is, Dean. I'm gonna guess it's Dean. It's d And these guys a guest on the podcast, and he gets his own code for all these things. Unbelievable, and you can join us on a fitness journey personalized

just for you. Again, use our code Dean d An and start using open Fit for your journey to a healthier life. And right now, during the open Fit thirty Day Challenge, our listeners get a special extended thirty day free trial membership to open Fit lose the fifteen pounds in thirty days. All you have to do is text Dean d E A and to thirty thirty thirty and you'll get full access to open Fit, all the workouts and the nutritional information totally free. Again. All you have

to do is text Dean to thirty. Maybe my favorite word in the English language free Dean is number two, but free is just unbelievable. Both four letters, yeah, both have two owls and two consonants. It's it's fantastic. The similarities are mind boggle, mind boggling. So anyway, sex and you can get all of that for free for thirty days. Unbelievable. Okay, Well, next up we have the stars of j L t VS. What's the name of the show again, it's best exactly. Well,

that's amazing. It's so great to have all three of you in studio today, Can you guys go around and introduce yourselfs real quick? Absolutely, I'm Bubby Linda. Oay, I'm a smart one, Bubby Linda the smart one. I'm Bubby s J. I'm the sassy one. I can I can sense that one from just the voice alone. Yeah, and I'm Bubby Bunny. They say I'm the sweet one, but I'm not too sure about that. So for the listeners of it, can you guys tell us what bubbies are?

What is a bubby? Well, bubby is a Jewish grandmother, Okay, yes, and we give advice because we have years and years of wisdom and we have grand children, so we know from where we speak. That's right. And you're a grand bubby. Yes, but seven seven I have three grandsons, woun, I have four grandchildren and two great grandchildren. Between the all of us, we're fourteen grandchildren, two great grandchildren. You're a great grand bubby. Yes,

that's amazing. Over two hundred years of experience here, so we getting them married and so on the TV show? Then what do you got? What? It just follows along your life? How does it work exactly? The TV show? Well, we have a suitor or three suitors that we have a data male or female whatever week whatever catches catch can Well, most of them are Jewish, but we do have segments where there's a non Jewish gentiles if you know what I mean. Sure, and then they come in

and we interview them. Okay, see who would match data? We grilled them? Do you Yeah? We try to find things in common, like well, first of all, interview the suitor. Okay, then there's three potential dates. Let's say the suitor likes to work out or something like that' and so we then we interview the three potential dates. We find out, we'll say, well, if you like, you know, to work out like three boots whatever, you find things in common, So you guys are like the three Jewish grandmothers like

of Patti Stanger. That's it. You're exactly where Patty, but better exact, way better right to ye? Jamin, I am so happy happy that you and Ashley are together. Oh my god, broke your child? Are you single or Mary? I'm single? Do you guys need a suitor to come on? All? Right? Kind of available? Would be a suitor or would be one of the dates. You'll be a data okay, yeah, yeah, because I don't want to be grilled too hard. You know,

I'm the hard grill up. If you're not going to wear a shirt that's pressed, forget about a big colored shirt, guy, I'll be honest with you. T shirts typically am I go to I think you are so good looking you don't have to thank you? Yes. So what kind of questions do you ask the suitors or the daters? Well, I always ask the tough questions, like if a woman is wearing like phony hair, I'll always say, is that joy?

We don't like that. We don't like when girls, you know, and I don't let me come on show your real looks, right, Jarret, Absolutely, I'll ask you that every day. And I'll ask them what level of let's say, Judaism do they like? You're very traditionally or less traditional? You know. Again, the more things you have in common, the better you know. What do you like to do? Well? We even had lesbians on the show. Now that was a tough one for me.

I don't know what the top the bottom. I don't know all about that the top and bottom, top at the bottom. I would ask that question the important questions. I get it. Yeah, So I took a DNA test on twenty three and me not too long ago, and I found out that I'm less than one percent Ashcarnazi Jew, So that means I have some Jewish blood in me. Well, right, that's when. That's why I'm here, Dean. I took my DNA test and I found out on fifty jew Hey, okay,

and yesterday I got my first call from Israel. I'm mean now I'm like the new jew in The names were all these Jewish Yiddish words like say naos na. They hurl their tongue in the back of their teeth. It's never gonna happen. Dean. Yeah, job you got. You're very very cute. I'm just looking at doorable glass is adorable. What kind of girl do you like? Tean? Give us an idea? Oh, I have absolutely no idea. Really, I

think someone out doorsy, someone fun. Okay, you guys have anyone in my I think we can find someone for him. She might be sitting right here. Do you have an age limit? She s all right, Vanessa, I've never gonn to give up. Okay, she given up a good looking guy. Are you single? Yes? I'm not was going to ask you ladies. So my boyfriend is actually Jewish and he doesn't have his bubby's not with us anymore, so I don't I can't go to her to ask for advice.

What kind of advice would you give me for my boyfriend? Well, I would say, um, yet to know? How long have you been dating him? For? Four months? Four months? Okay? So have you gotten to know his friends? Because you can really tell a lot about a guy with who you know about who he associates with. Yes, I haven't

met all of his friends yet. But he's very close to his family, which is like integral for me to date someone who understands that they need to spend as much time with their family as they do with mine. And this is the first relationship. It best like that. So that's like always with his sisters or with his mom. That's a good sign. That's a good sign. All right? Are you living together yet? Okay? You think four months is too early to start leaving? I don't know. I do.

I lived with my husband pre husband, the last third husband. Uh. Six weeks after I met him, I moved him in. But I'm old, honey, so you know how much time have I got left? I want to get to know each other a little bit better before you move in. I agree, I agree. I think it's great that you're both from Canada. I mean, at least you're he's geographically suitable. Nick was not because he was too far away, right, Yeah, that's exactly the reason. So he's Jewish and you're Jewish rights,

there's a story. But he's Jewish, but he's doing okay. Do you guys like to go to temple together? Or? I mean, how do you work that out? So we're not practicing. So I'm Catholic but not practicing, and he's Jewish but not practicing. Well, I mean he's practicing, but not as religious as other people would be. So your Italian. I am Italian and Jews. A parent was raised on an Italian and Jewish block. Of course we get along, jolly yeah, it's very very similar backgrounds, Vanessa. Do you

love them good money? That is a great question. The boys haven't even asked me that. How does he make you feel when you see I do love him? Do you do? Do you do you feel he makes you a better person? Do you look forward to seeing him? Does he make your heart like tingle when you see him? He does, and he's very soft. If you see him, he looks like this, like macho like Jared calls him the silver Fox, but he's such a has such a

soft side to him. Um, which is where to find someone who's really good looking and is able to just sit you down and talk things through and talk about your emotions and not feel um scared to be vulnerable. There are a lot of things in common, like what you like to do together. Um. We love spending time with our family. I made it's either I'm spending time with his or he's spending time with mine. And we

love helping out the community too. He's involved in politics and has other big projects that he wants to do to help out the Montreal community. And I have a nonprofit. So there's yeah. So we have a lot of great things in common. Um, and it's nice. So I wanted to actually ask you, guys, what is the best piece of advice you've ever given or what's the best piece of advice that people have ever given you? Wow, that's a great question, right for the two of you. Just

to keep things always good no matter what. I It's like the five minute rule. The first when he walks through the door. You walk through the door. You want them to see in your eyes that you are glad to see them, and that can make the difference of the whole day, the whole night of being with someone. I think, you know, we take it for granted after a while, Like a relationship is like a plant. You gotta water it. And as long as you make him

feel special, he's not going anywhere. MS go ahead, Okay, Yeah, I've been married thirty years last October, Wow graduation. I know and like it. Oh yeah, thank you put a ring on it. And I think that our relationship has stayed fresh because we tell each other we love each

other every day. We look at each other, we look at each other's eyes, and we keep it fresh and we go out, we date, we do things, you know, so you gotta keep it fresh and always tell each other and remember the first day you met how felt. Never forget that. And I'm the realist in the group. Honey, let me tell you first of all, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. You should always have something in common with the person. And you know, whoever tells

you I love you first is the loser. That I mean, he's the loser. That means that, like my husband told me he loved me first, I'm the winner. I meant the first one. Throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don't throw the baby out, just you know, wait a while before, like, for example, don't go to bed angry. Okay, So you know that means like, don't give up you

know yet, Just give it a shot, give it a chance. Jared, Hey, Bubby. So, you guys, obviously all are very well versed on all things love and relationships, so we decided to ask our listeners on our Facebook some questions that they might have for you that you guys could help answer. You. Okay, Mark, read some questions from our Facebook page for you guys. This is from Ashley. She says, should partners discuss how

many sexual partners they've had in the past? No? No, no. The only thing that your partner wants to know is that it's over period and they're the only one. No. So okay. Follow up from Ashley she says, do men really think about sex every two minutes like the statistics says? No? Think. Actually, I think they do that on their mind a lot more than women. I don't think it's every two seconds, but I think let's say it's out there a lot. We got some men here games in the past two minutes,

have you thought about sex? I've been thinking about it a lot. Once you guys walked into the women rule. Now get out of here. All the man forget about it. They don't care that much. Maybe your husband does mine, Miss cougar here, I used to be a right. Yeah, Well, let's see, my second husband was ten years younger than me, and my last boyfriend before my husband was twenty five years More power to you, thanks, honey. I don't think age really matters. I think it's you know, the connection

you guys have. I also dated a guy that was ten years younger, well, ten years older. It doesn't matter. I always I always say that age doesn't matter, and then I always hear other people's perspective when I see an article about how a seventy eight year old billionaire is dating a twenty three year old model matters. So I think kind of a gray area. That's kind of a trophy wife kind of thing. That's a whole little

bit that's about reading the will. That's that's yeah. This is from Caitlin, and this is a nice transition here. How do you deal with money in a relationship. Do you share funds? How do you split the bills? How do you make sure the person who makes less money doesn't feel like they contribute less to the overall relationship. Well, let me tell you about my relationship. Because I married some not a little bit more money than I did. We split it and if he didn't like it, he

could leave. Oh you split okay, So it's basically we commingle our funds. You add the funds together. Yes, that's what we did. I'm old school. I mean, I come from an age like the fifties and everything the men took care of the women. I don't mind treating and doing all those things, but I want to be with it man that you can take care of me. I'm agreeing. Um, My husband and I both worked. He made a lot more money than me, but we just co mild co mingled our funds and when I'm not working, you know

he's taking care of me. Yeah. I've been on both sides of it. I think in past relationships, I've made less money than my girlfriend and she was much Uh, she was very giving, I guess if you would. Um, So I've seen both sides of it, and I agree with that. Jay, once you're once you're married, I think, just your money, not each other. Do you think I don't know if I agree with that? Well, what do

you think? Why? Okay? So I come from my parents are divorced and I have you know, people in my life that have been divorced and where the women just end up getting burnt at the end of it. And I want to make sure that when the day comes where I get married, if I choose to get married, if I'm in a long term relationship and I'm cohabiting with someone, habitating with someone, I want to make sure that the money that I've earned, every dollar I've ever made,

nothing was ever given to me. So I know the value of a dollar. So it's very important for me to make sure that I protect what I've earned throughout the years of working and that, Um, I don't know if it's important. I don't know, Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not thinking straight. But is it important to make sure that you both know how much money you have in the bank account? Or should women and men alike not have to display everything before entering? I think the

question are you talking about pre marriage or after you're marriage. Uh, well, pre marriage, because I mean I went on a first date a couple of months ago and somehow we brought up the topic of credit scores and I have a really bad credit score and she has a really good credit score. And she goes that was we're still like, we still talking, we're still friends. Whatever, she goes, you're telling me your credit score was a pretty big red

flag for me. Wow that you bet you modern day people, and you know, I'm not ashamed to admit the fact that I got a score in the six hundreds. It's growing, it's just gonna take a little bit of time. And the highest scores like eight hundred, it's not so far from yea that for getting off you. But no, I think if you're come into the marriage and you have a whole bunch of money, you might want to do a think about a pre nup. I'm not against that.

Let's ask the question to Jared because he's engaged, right, So what do you and actually I'm certain sure discussed this. So what did you guys conclude? It's our money we make, is we're putting it? That's right? But Jahreed would about from before gan Us is saying she's worked hard for her money, right, that should stay your money. You have to throw it into the pot. Well, I don't know. I don't agree with that because like when I I

had a business, my husband has a business. When we got together and I go, this is my business, let's you know, this is what I make. This is how much I've said, blah blah blah, And I said, what have you got to you know, contribute? So he brought everything along so I could look at I like that transparency. Everything I think in a marriage has to be transparent. If it is, you start having secrets. Right. No, I agree with the transparency. I just think that we need

to protect ourselves because you never know what ends up happening. Right, And I've had women. I've had women come up to me and they're like, well, you know, I never agreed with the idea of prenup ever, because I was like, what's the point of having a printup and having and talking about a prenup before getting into marriage when you're basically saying, hey, there's a fifty fifty chance that we're

not going to work out. But now I'm looking at as, Hey, why I don't want to end up like some couples, divorce rates are so high, like I think now it's like people that get married get divorced, and it is really scary because dating nowadays it's not the same as it was like in the seventies and the eighties and

the nineties, like it's it's very different. And I want to make sure if things do, if hits the fan, I want to make sure that we're able to end the relationship or the marriage or whatever it is on good terms without it having to be messy because of money.

And money is the root of all people. That's true, Essa, I hear you, and he needs to respect you as the man that makes you feel safe to keep your money, and that man just say okay, honey, that's what we're going to do, because I sense it's going to be too uncomfortable for you to do it any other way. But you made a great point, Vanessa. The divorce rate is so very hi these days. That's why we buppies who are around to give advice seriously, and we do every Monday night on J J L t V A

A PM. Vanessa, I've married a man that I was totally in love with, and ten years later I looked over at the pillow. I wanted to smuggle him. You know, you just don't know in life, so you thought to keep a little booty to your booty yourself. I don't think I don't know your booty or whatever. I think every situation is different. When I married my husband, he had been divorced five years and he really didn't have that much. I didn't have that much, so we were

able to grow and build our lives together. So with you know, somebody that has money, like it's saying, it's a whole different situation you might want to do. I'm not saying I have money, even if it's five dollars. You know, yeah's here the next Western girl, Oh, thank you very much. Um, Dana oft to know. How do you deal with a guy who is love bombing you? For example, he comes on really strong. He mentioned your future on a third date. He wants to meet your

parents in the near future. He needs constant communication plans the next date while on one date. I've come across a lot of men like this lately, and it's such a turn off. I don't believe him. He sounds too desperate. I don't believe that somebody's planning it. That's just like love. I love that expression love bombing. I don't believe that somebody is like, oh we're planning, we're gonna get married. Don't believe that guy. It just happened to me about

seven months ago, and I wanted to throw up. I mean, if this happened to me like when I was younger, Oh my god, he loves me, he wants to do all this. Now I see through this. I mean what is love? Love is respect right, and that is garnered over time when you get to know someone too many, too many angles. He he was gone, he was I forgot his phone numbers. A turn off that would frighten me if someone came on that strong to me, I say,

whoa back off? Back off? In my opinions were back to and understanding, right, and so how could you love someone that you don't fully understand? If that takes time, it takes right right. Well, as soon as I told him, I was getting this like major operation and all these

things were happening. Bye bye. It doesn't call anymore. But so from my perspective, for someone that can fall quickly, I can see how someone can get excited, but it does kind of lead to like, uh, misunderstandings later on right because maybe you won't follow through with a lot of the things that you thought you could promise the person and leads to bad things. You take a step back. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at you. You're so handsome. I'm saying, calmed down,

you have bad breath. You're not what the list is endless somehow credit score show find you someone you want to come on Conversare you in modern dating? Would you say? Because I feel like, would you agree dating is a little different today, isn't it? The swipe right and leveling? My question? Do you know what bumble is? Well, it's a hair care product. I know that I do. I know. All this is that there's Bumble is one of the dating sites. But it's nothing. It's different from a thousand

years ago or today. Love is love. You're look in somebody's eyes and you know, you know how they feel, and then that's what you should wait for. You should wait for that feeling that Cupid's come down and just shut your right through the heart. I really feel like today it looks like there's so many choices. There's too many choices, Like I was saying, swipe left, swipe right.

You know, in my day, which was many years ago and sixteen years ago again, it was a little easier to find people and a little easier to find love, you know, than in today's with your swiping you have so many choices. How you gonna pick just one? You know? Well, you know, arranged marriages are nothing knew. They go back bounds of years, even in the Bible of Talks in Genesis, Isaac send somebody out to go meet Rebecca, bring her back to Canaan. They fall in love, they get married,

they have family in common. And even in the Orthodox community, some more of Thedox community, they have a matchmakers set updates and they work. Yeah, so that's why we're here. I'm trying to pull up stats because you said that it used to be easier to get you know, in your day, it was easier to marry than is today because there's too many options. And it was in a

book I was reading a while ago. I wish I could bring up the stats, but it was saying how marriage has evolved because back in the seventies, statistically speaking, you're more likely to get married to someone that lived in the same city as you, uh, and that has obviously decreased greatly throughout the years, and the same thing, like it's just gone. It's it's gone from like most likely to get married within the same city, state, country, and just you're doing their family because you just meet

everybody all around the world. Like I opened up my phone and I'm connected to millions of people all across the globe. Well that's because you were on a TV show. Oh you kid fair. But it's interesting to me because I think it is harder to meet people because I do believe in that grass is greener on the other side theory, which says that people are always looking for the next best thing. They're almost looking for something that doesn't exist. It's different grass, That's what I always say.

It grass is not green or just different grass doesn't mean it's going to be better grass than the grass that's in your row. If you help grow the grass in your own backyard and till it and stuff, then it's going to be great as opposed to like, oh that's better than what I've got. Jared is growing his grass with Ashley. The grass is growing. The moment that you knew that this is going to work, and she's

not going to cry anymore. I love that. But I think that's the important thing to realize, especially about couples, that today that everything is not perfect. I think people look at Ashley and myself as this perfect couple and it's not. We argue sometimes, there's some bad moments, there's some animosity and obstacles that we have to overcome as

a couple together. But I think that's the way we look at it, that we are a couple working together to overcome this obstacle because I've realized, especially in my past relationships, that it's always not going to be perfect, and the idea of looking for this this soul mate that fits every one of my needs is just ridiculous and childish to think. And so that's why it's commitment is a choice. Right, it's not a guy when right now.

Give you a bubby hint, and it would be that when you do argue, try to take their hand and remember why you fell in love with them. Yeah. I mean, we don't have big blows, but of course there's you know, certain things that we talk about and have adult conversations. But I think it's good to let everybody know that so they don't see, oh, well, they're in a perfect relationship.

Jared is just in cloud nine right now, and it's like, no, we're very We're two very real people that have been friends for quite some times, that know each other very well, and sometimes we have wonderful moments, and sometimes we have things that we have to work with, you know, together, Expect perfection, You're never gonna stay together. I feel like a lot of people today expected. That's the problem today everybody. So many people like expect the perfect whatever it is. Yeah,

lighter happens. There is no perfect anything. No, And I think you guys can attest to this. You know, fifty years ago, women and men were getting married because it made sense because they you know, they it was so social status, wanted to start a family. Now people are getting married because they want to find their selman, they want to find their love. They're getting married later in life because they want to self discover themselves before they

commit to somebody else. And so it's finny matchmakers finding matchmakers, which is something that going on in world. That's right, Bachelor, I Paradise, that's right. But I agree with you guys are saying. I think some people are just looking for something that just does not exist. There is no perfect That's all I gotta say. When you first meet, there's

that all that chemistry and all that stuff. But then you know, the marriages and relationships that hang together is when you hang together during the difficult times, you understand life happened totally. One of my favorite quotes of all time, uh is gentlemen that I look up to very greatly. He was talking about marriage. He's been married for quite some time, and he said, you know, in the first year, it's all lovey dovey. You guys folding clothes together and

you're just maddenlying love because it's in. There's infatuation and you guys are attracted to each other and it's new and it's great. And then some bad stuff is going to happen and then you guys are gonna have to work together to overcome those things. And if you can overcome those things together as a couple, that's when the real marriage starts. And that's when we love changes into

something greater. That's greatly. Do you guys mind sharing with our listeners one more time where we can watch you Jewish Lifetime Television Network on Monday nights at eight pm at all j LTV Bubbies No Best. Thank you all so much for coming in today. It's always great to get a unique perspective. I don't think we've ever had a Bubby on the podcast before, so it's nice to kind of hear more from you guys. I'll definitely be tuning into Bubby's No Best Monday Night. We want to say, hey,

I'm working on the show. Come on, I'll be there next week. Let's perfect because that night and then people who can't get enough need more dating Next Monday Night, eight o'clock. Best and the best of love, Vanessa, love you, love you alright, Dean. Last week you weren't here. I asked Vanessa ten questions about her life, dating life, anything to really do with relationships in general. So I figured, well, you're back in studio, why not we play another segment

of ten questions with Dean and Vanessa. Well, I'm asking the questions, yeah, but I think you should be ten questions with Jared. It's because yeah, I answer them too, but it goes far more in depth with you two, because people just care more about you than they do me. Moving forward, here we go Ten questions with Dean and Vanessa. Is my Mike on, don't hear whistle. You're talking. Here we go, We're talking, all right? Ten questions here we go? No,

I remember one, Dean and Vanessa. Who is your celebrity crush slash? Who's your hall pass? If you have a hall pass, you have one celebrity that you're significant other, Dean, you're gonna have to pretend for this one would let you date or pretty much sleep with? And who would that be? Emily Radikowski? That's your celebrity crush? I mean, she's gorgeous. Don't get me wrong. Is she dating anybody? Probably? I think she's married or something isn't Yeah, I think

she's married. Oh good god, she is a gorgeous woman who was married last year at Sebastian Bear mcleard. I wonder if that great name. I wonder if I could be her pass. Maybe she's doing a podcast in some other universe right now answering the question with my name. I don't think it would be another universe because you're on TV, so she probably she may know who you are. Probably you are my answered, Dean, that's the answer is I'm looking for was paying attention. That's why I know

it's funny. So I message Dean no hold on. We connected on Ryan and he's like, what are you doing on this thing? You're an earlier ship and I totally forgot. I still had the app on and there was like this notification, so Mike, I wanted to show. I wanted to show my boyfriend how it worked. And so Dean was the first profile that showed up, and I pressed like the because I said, I'm just here for friends. So I clicked the check mark and we connected. I was like, what what do you mean eye a profile?

I didn't even check it. I just saw your face and I was like, oh, keep your Heart Young by Brandy Carlyle. Oh that's nice. But that's what I don't I don't know. I haven't checked my profile in months. What do you remember? I know you told us before it was like cold Play or something like that. No, I think it's like something with three AM. I don't know three AM matox. Yeah, yeah, there you go, right, you really have three M matchbox. If you guys cross you on ry to what you guys? Are you guys?

Do you have short term memory loss? Because we've literally had this exact same conversation where Jared gushed over the fact that Vanessa used Matchbox. It's coming back to me now, I'm super bad memory. So apparently it's called Keep Your Heart Young by Brandy Carlisle. It's fantastic, you guys letting it out right now. It's a good feel a good song, all right. Number two, have you ever dated a friend's X? Now? This includes if you've ever hooked up with a friend's

X one night. Now. This is an interesting question because obviously we're in the Bachelor franchise and we're kind of clear. I am, oh, well, whoa you really count? No, it doesn't really count because I didn't know Caitlin before. I'm friends with Caitlin now. But you're innocent, you hand, so don't I'm disqualified from this because I don't That was fair. Yeah, but in your personal life here, if you're dated uh an ex friend? Yeah you have outside of Bachelor? Okay,

was that awkward at first? Yeah? How'd that come about? Because your friend was dating this person? Then they broke up and then you started. It wasn't very serious with my friend and the girl, and then I wanted to get serious with the girl. So we just had a conversation and figure it out. Alright, fair enough, alright. Number three. Now, if you could choose us, we've all been Deean, you've

been on Paradise, Winter Games, Bachelorette, Vanessa, you've been on Bachelor. Now, if you could choose, would you rather be a contestant on The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise? Now, this includes being the lead on one of them. If you got to choose, If producers came to you said, hey, you have a choice to either be the Bachelor, Bachelor, Reid, Bachelorettes, excuse me, be a contestant on one of those shows, or be contestant on Bachelor in Paradise. Which one would

you choose? Vanessa? I would probably choose Bachelorette, but on the condition that I can work with production to actually so that they can hire a matchmaker to find two guys that they know would be a really great match for me and not just like random thirty people that they think that I would connect with. But you would pick being the Bachelorette, Yeah, I choose zero. I choose none of them. You have to choose them. I probably do Paradise again. Interesting, so you would not be the Bachelor.

There's just too much pressure. And that's why I asked the question because I was thinking in my head if I had to choose I actually and I were just talking to about it, what we choose, and I don't know if I choose being the Bachelor already I had. I don't know if I ever talked about this publicly on this podcast, but they were talking to me about being the Bachelor after my season of Bachelor at and I said, I said, sure, but you guys have to realize it's a really bad decision for you because I

don't even know if I want to get married. I'm not ready. But that's fine, but that's okay. You can just end up in a serious relationship. I don't see what the pressure is of, like having to put a ring on it. I don't know. I think they should change a little bit. I told. I told them, I was like, look, I again, I'll do it. But I just want you to know odds are pretty high that I probably wouldn't propose to anyone by the end of the season. Any think that's why they didn't choose you.

I'm sure there's many reasons why they didn't end up going with me. But I'm sure that was factored into the equation. Yeah, but Vanessa, part of being on the show is being ready for a marriage, right, But you can be ready. I was definitely ready for marriage. I mean, it's really that my engagement didn't work out. I think there's a higher success rate if you could get to know each other and then get and then get proposed to and then go into marriage. I don't think you

have to get engaged at the end of the show. Yeah, but that's not how the show works. I get that, but I listen, that's my mentality. I I did. I'm happy I did, and um, I'm happy I had that conversation with it because he was basically like, yeah, that's fair, all right, numb before, where's the strangest place you ever made? Whoopee? You kidding me? You never heard whoopy? I don't know what whoope is. I bet the bobbies know. What would I don't know. Maybe a park, a public park, public park,

public park in broad daylight. I would say it's probably the weirdest place where there are others present, plenty of other people present. You're joking, that's actually a funny story that I'll share. Um, it was years ago. It was during a thing called Santa Con or you get similiary Santa con in New York. It's in San Francisco. I'm sure there's one New York Santa Monica over. It's basically just thousands of people coming together dressing up like Santa

Claus doing a pub crawl. We were in San Francisco with like forty of our friends and we were all obviously drinking and partying and all dressed up like Santa Claus, and me and my girlfriend at the time both decided to um make whoopee if you will in Santa class toombs in the middle of a public park, in the middle of Broadway. Did you get caught? No, I don't know.

I just felt it was just fun. Beard on. I don't know if she had a beard on, but she was in a full Santa Clause outfit, and so was I. It's just it's just funny to think of two Santa Claus going at it, and then the chimney Vanessa, what about you? I wanted to share, but then I'm like, I know my dad listened to this podcast, Oh so was it in your parents? Like, you know, I just don't want my parents to know that I what is this mean? Yeah, that I did a whoopee in Um, okay, fine,

I'll just share it. So I was on vacations and what I said that was easy. Yeah. So I was on vacation and you know, sometimes you just want to do something a little bit out of the box. And um, so we we walked into someone's garage and made whooping there were oh nice Jared garage. Jen. I wanted to answer this question to please right a strangers gage. Okay, I like the adventurous. It's a crime. That's a crime. Did you come down this chimney? But it was a question.

Jaredy answer the question too. Yeah, it was in a basement. Um, but it was. It was. It was weird. It was at my girlfriend's college at the time, but so it wasn't in her dorm. It was like in this basement. For some reason, we just thought it would be spontaneous and I ended up I ended up bending down at one point and hit my head against a pipe and I got a black eye from it. Was so for

like two months afterward, I had a black eye. And I've obviously lied to my parents and told them that I just I did it while like walking into the gym or something and banged my eye while it really was trying to make whoop be in the basement alright. Number five On this podcast, we're talking last week about how we should learn a new dating term each week. So this week, have you guys ever heard of the term cuffing? See is in cuffing cee U F F

I n G. Who hasn't heard a coffing season? Well, there we go, Dean, would you care to explain what you think cuffing season? At home? And actually, Vanessa, what do you think it is? First? Okay, coffing cuffing coffing as in cuffs, Like, yeah, coffing season. Oh, I know, I know. Winter very good a lot in the winter,

cough a lot all the time. You know, it's it's cold season, like you wanna you wanna know because you want to like, um, you want to make sure you're settling down with someone because it's cold and you wanna be coosy with someone so like you're like you're arresting them. It's like musical chairs the music could have a chair quickly totally it is have somebody now it is? Is that what you thought it was Dean. Well, yeah, of course,

of course you know what it is. It is described as during the fall in winter months, people who would normally rather be single or permiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be cuffed or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and parl longed indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and

desperate to be coffed. Now that obviously goes to the opposite of that, which is uncoffing season, usually during the spring and summer months, when people who are previously in relationship during the winter break, uh, they break up with their girlfriend or boyfriend to be free for the summer and warm months so you can play the field and not be tied down during the best times of your life.

Coffing season and uncoffing season. And this coffing season affects you, do you get those desires as you're as the guy who celebrates non monogamy. I think the thing that messes with me most is just my friends practice coffing season, and so it's like when all your good friends are, you know, kind of coupling up over the over the winter months, that kind of thing. Then you're kind of like, oh, well, why am I not doing that? Um, but no, I don't know. That's we live in l at summer year

around here. He's in a quite ironic that uncoffing season occurs during Bachelor in Paradise. Um, No, it's like uncoffing. You're going on paradise to kind of like meet singles, but yet the entire idea of the show is to get engaged. Yeah, it was badly suggesting this, but maybe five questions? Yeah, you guys, I have a question for you guys. You guys know what b D means. Hell, yeah, Mark's got it, Pete David's the guy. What's p D? What is it? P D b D E? What's that? Yeah?

I know that one. Okay, I just figured that one out. I was like, whoa us. This room was overflowing with bed between Mark Eason and Jared. It's just all right. That was five questions with Dean and Vanessay. I do have a couple of emails I want to get to before we go because I find these. I love when we get unique questions that we've never heard before. Kelsey, I don't make much money, but my boyfriend has a corporate job and his paychecks are three to four times mine.

We're looking at apartments and we found when we love. When discussing what I could afford, I offered basically my bi monthly paycheck, and he offered less than one quarter of his salary, which is still more than mine. However, we're still short on rent, and he asked the fire could increase my budget, but I really can't. I feel like as my boyfriend, he should understand that I don't have any money and he makes a lot more money. He shouldn't be asking me to add more money. Am

I being overly sensitive? Or do I make a valid argument? Valid argument? Okay, so yes, I think things should be split fift someone who like it. Takes pride in working and making my own money, but at the end of the day, like my fifty percent might be very different than someone else's. I dated someone, hold on, I dated someone that um wanted a luxurious like place to live in, and I was like, well, all I can afford is

X amount of money per rent. So I said, well, all I can offer is this amount of money per rent, this amount of money per month for rent, and if you want to get this specific place, then you're gonna have to put in whatever, um whatever half that I can't afford. And I think that was fair because it was I was still paying my rent and they wanted to live in something that I couldn't afford at the time, so that was my That kind of goes against what

you're saying earlier though, what the bubbies here. I feel like, listen, if you're making more money and you want to live somewhere that's a little bit more, that's that the person can't afford, then how is that fair? So then let's live according to the person who makes less money. I agree. I think that you should set your budget before you begin looking. And if someone wants to say someone it's more expensive than you, just say, Okay, this is what

I was supposed to pay. If you want to live in this area, that's on you, but this is our budget. We can get a place somewhere else with that money. Yeah, you have to compromise before you guys even think about getting a place, um, because it should be like it all, It all depends on what you discuss. It should be if you guys wanted to be fifty or if you think you're gonna get married and you want to combine bank accounts, then one person should pay and it's all

one lup some of rent. By the way, I have an update on my living situation if anyone's curious. I'm moving out of my house in May and I'm going to move full time in to a van. Interesting is like, stop it really for three months? I'm stebad leasing my room in my house for three months May to August. I've wanted to do van life for a long time. Now marks given me a weird look, just baffling to me. But I guess with you, I shouldn't be supersed. I wanted to live in a van for a long time.

I know I need to do it while I'm still young and still single. Um, it's kind Do you follow this guy on Instagram? I think he's from Montreal. He's like really good looking and he lives in a van. I'll send you his Instagram page, but anyway, he like it looks like I said, I got such a fulfilling life, and I'm like, damn, I want that. Yeah, what is appealing about living in a van? Um? I mean, it's

just like a nomadic experience. You're kind of responsible for where you sleep and where you wake up, And I don't know, it just seems like something that you can do to kind of get away from everything for travel America or yeah, I'm gonna drive up to like Yosemite or like over to Arizona, go to like Grand Canyon, Zion, those types of places. I've always wanted to see the amount rushmore. I know it's kind of more of a flight thing that's a long drive, but it's always a possibility.

What type of van are we talking about, like the old school of VWST Folia with a pop top. Oh that's a good van. Yeah, a little bit more pricey than I thought they were going to be. Um. I'm also gonna be in Europe for like a month in July, and so I'm like, well, I might as well just you know, you should buy the Mystery Machine. Yeah, it'd be cool. I could be Scoop. I could totally see Dean driving around the Mystery Machine this podcast. So I don't have to live in a van. That's why I'm hearing.

That's interesting how different goals are right now. I mean, hey, look, like I said, I've always wanted to do it. I lived in an RV for four years when I was a little kid. So maybe this is like me returning to my roots. My brother has done it for the past like five years, and he seems to be pretty happy with it. And it fits your nomadic lifestyle. You're always traveling and you're not tied down. I will say, I can I can imagine it will make me significantly

less appealing to the opposite sex. But that's fine, that's just you know, that's just I don't think so. I mean to have more money in your bank account. Well, it's not really that that I'm doing it. How are you going to clean yourself? Oh that's the thing, Marcus, I just won't, I think a big negative to the female. No, I'll get JYM memberships. I'll go cleaning myself on the ocean every once in a while. There are ways it

could be done. I was in Mexico, remember last year or last year, for like two weeks living in an RV with Courtney. Didn't shower once. Phenomenal. You want to tell Mark and Easton we you just started using again. I just started using soap again. You guys would all be pleased to Yeah, yeah, there was there's a story behind it that I probably shouldn't share, but I'm going to. Anyways, I got a rash all over my stomach, which I thought, oh yeah, I remember that, which I thought to be shingles.

I thought that I contracted shingles at one point. Um turned out was just contact dermatitis. It was like an allergic reaction to something. But it was on my stomming for maybe a couple of weeks, and I was like, this is just getting worse. It's not really getting any better. And I started using soap, and the soaps are just to clear it right up. So's amazing like that. It's I'm gonna stand up right now. It's actually got a little bit worse. It's a rash. I don't know how

excited you should be over that very sexy rash. Start over too. I don't know what's going on. It's not it's not the best thing in the world. But I remember when yep, I think I got a skydiving back in January, I said in his bunk house for a couple of days, Um, but your back to underwear. No not no, no underwear. You know that. I'm using body so up at least once, probably too out every three days. Champoon condition once a week. My skin has ever been dryer. Sorry, No,

you're fine. I love talking about your skin. I just wanted to ask one more thing about that last email to Vanessa before we move on. Vanessa, if the rolls are reversed and it was the girl that had to support the guy by paying more and rent, would you still agree to that? Its just the PC answer, though, No it's not. It's really not all right. That's next email from Claudia. I've been with my now ex for only six months. I just found I had been with

my now x sorry for only six months. I just found out that during the exclusive time not like putting a label on it time, but we were exclusive, my boyfriend cheated on me twice. I instantly broke up with him when I found out. Now I'm second guessing myself. I really loved him, and he says he really loved me too. He also said he's not going to give up on us, but he also cheated on his previous girlfriend. Is it worth thinking him back or my right to

have broken up with him right away? All right, here's what makes me frustrated about this email. What does it mean? I just found out during the quote exclusive, but not like putting a label on. Look. I just found out about this too with the Morning Show with the Secrets Morning Show staff. Now apparently now and you guys are in the dating world, you can confirm this. For me, there is exclusive time and then there is boyfriend girlfriend time.

Those are two separate levels of the relationship. I hate everybody. I agree that this is nonsense to me, What does that even mean? So boyfriend and girlfriend? You could you're still dating other people? No, no, no, that comes after that. The conversation first is we're not sleeping with other people? Got it. Then the next conversation months later is you're

my boyfriend or you're my girlfriend. I think that once you say you're not sleeping other people, and then they because yeah, I agree to I think it's exclusive, not like we're exclusive sleeping together. It's exclusive to each other emotionally. I'm willing to bet that Claudia and him never had that exclusive talk. I bet you that she thought it was assumed that they were in the exclusive period. He probably didn't think the same thing. He was hooking up

other girls. At least I hope that the very least he was honest about it. It sounds like he might. Sounds like she wouldn't have known. I don't consider was he honest or was it did he get caught. I don't consider that cheating if he was honest, if he was honest about sleeping with other girls. Yeah, she asked him and he was like, yeah, I am hoping with not cheating because they were never label as boyfriend girlfriend. Because here's the thing. I think you can't assume that

you're exclusive just because you're hooking albo. You have to have a conversation about it. That's what makes me frustrated about today's dating. It's like, well, we're not boyfriend girlfriend, but we're not seeing other people. And it's like, well, what does that even mean? Why would you not be boyfriend girlfriend if you're not going to try to work towards something or if you're if you're exclusive your boyfriend girlfriend.

If you're not exclusive, you're not well. I think Claude needs to have that conversation with him if she if she wants to actually be exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend, then yeah, whatever, give him another chance. Maybe there was some miscommunication and you thought that you guys were exclusive, and that's why he quote unquot cheated. But maybe Claudia, we just want to say we love you and we really appreciate you listening to the podcast, But you're the headline. Am I

wrong for breaking up with my cheating boyfriend? He's not your boyfriend. I will say too, that the second paragraph kind of sticks out where he said where she says I really loved him and he says you really loved me too. You're not really saying you love someone unless you're in a relationship with them, And if you love someone, you're probably not talking about other people. So I would say maybe, I don't know. People just mess around with

each other's heads. I find we clearly need more information on this. Bottom line is you need to decide what is important to you and what your standards are for a relationship. And if you don't mind somebody who's going behind your back, then go back to him. But I don't again, Yeah, I don't know. No, I agree, Claudia. Best thing would probably just give the same thing ultimatum. You know, either we're going to be in a relationship and work towards something or we're not. Although I don't

believe in the whole ultimatum thing either. But it sounds like something has to happen, because how often does a good relationship start off ultimatums are not good? Well, it doesn't start like this. They've been I've been with my ex for six months. Six months, I've been given the ultimatum thing before. I think she just needs to have an honest conversation with him, and that is her form of ultimatum. But if you cheat, if you feel you were cheated on and you know he cheated on an X,

you're going into this without any trust whatsoever. That's not a great relationship. What she needs to do is just clearly to find their relationship. If he if their boyfriend girlfriend, and they both agreed to understand that, and then he looks up with someone else again and that isn't defined in the relationship before, then that's when you know that you don't have to ever trust this guy again. In my opinion, now, I feel like it's almost too much

of a gray area right now. That's why it's marks point communication. Figure it out, set out the parameters of the relationship, and then hope for the best. Emily says, I met a guy recently and we have so much in common. We even kissed a few times. After a few days of talking to him, he dropped the bomb that he has a four year old son. He's essentially separated from him due to the state court system. I know I'm nowhere near ready entering into that type of

situation in a serious way. My question is would it be bad to hang out with him usually or should just shut it down right now? And is it bad for me to have this be a deal breaker? It's not bad? Well, wait, what's the state court system? That's good? A whole bunch of information there that's missing. Yeah, right exactly, So that would be my red flag. Why because maybe he did something to deserve to be separated from his kid. Obviously, Yeah, maybe that would be the red flag. The fact that

he has a kid not a deal breaker. I think it's important for someone that has a child to make sure that they get to know the person before they introduce them to their to their kid. And a kid should never be a deal breaker. Also depends what I mean, hold on, It also depends at what stage you are in your life. You're older, like in my like now

in my thirties. My pool of men are very different compared to when I was in my younger twenties and in my younger twenties, I may not have thought that that's what I wanted um a type of relationship to be. But the only red flag is really why state court system? Yeah, what did he do that the state required? He can't be years son? Right, If you get involved with somebody the kid, that's your prerogative. I don't that makes you're a bad person by any means at all. We don't

know your nerve, but it's fine. But also I wouldn't hang out with him casually. I think I just if you want to day to single, that go day to single. That if you don't, don't, But I wouldn't hang out with him casually kind of see where it goes. You think it's leading him on too much. I think it's it's preparing everybody for heartbreak. I think all bad. But if the chemistry is there, then you should hang out

with him, not casually and as a relationship. It sounds like she's finding a reason to hang out with him. Clearly she's drawn to him. But then you got to accept the kid. I mean, I've dated girls with kids in the past full well knowing that I'm not ready to be a father anytime soon. There's less pressure knowing that it's not going to necessarily be your own kid, but you could be like a supplementary figure. Did you break their hearts? No? I don't think so. I mean,

I don't know. It's all I asked them afterwards, Hey, hey, are you heartbroken? Okay? Cool? If you break someone's heart, like it never got to the point of that, I didn't didn't progress that far. It was, I mean, it was just casual. Did it get to the point where you met the kid and hung out with the kid? No? So I guess that is obviously a big step too, right, because then you can break the kids heard too? What

you don't want to do that? Yeah? Of course. God, I mean I'm a kid at the end of the day. So living in a vans all right? Is that it? We've done with emails today. That's all we got for you, all right, perfect. We'll always please send your emails in that's our favorite part of the show. And a big thank you to twenty three and Me by your Health and Ancestry Service Kit today at twenty three and me dot com slash Dean big thank you to open fit.

You can get a special extended thirty day free trial membership to open Fit, where you can lose up to fifteen pounds and only thirty days. When you text Dean D E A N to thirty thirty thirty Dean, how's it feel to have all these codes be your name? I love it. It's a power It's a real power trip, honestly as it well showed. Big thank you to the Bubbies for coming in. You can check out their new television show on j L TV at eight pm. Bubbies, No Best and I Suck a Day to get iHeart

Media dot com. Yes, that is the email just where you can keep sending those emails to thank you to Blake Courtsman. We're excited to see him back on The Bachelor tonight and of course in Paradise this summer, Mark East and Amy. You guys are wonderful. Vanessa, You're beautiful as always. Dean, thanks for having me on as a guest today. Guys, I really appreciate it. Getting best stop that this is your podcast so hopefully so why don't you ended, Dean um? Anyways, this is another episode of

help I Suck at Dating. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to tune in next week because maybe I'll suck a little bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast. All Right, cool,