Help! We Suck at Being Newlyweds

podcast pop up. Maybe you just stumbled upon it. Maybe however you got here. First of all, we appreciate you being here. But why is it called not called Help I Suck It Dating? And I know, isn't that sad? There's no more Help I Suck a Dating? Yeah, so that's official. Jared announced it last week on Help I Suck A Dating? That that was the last episode of Help I Suck It Dating? What a run? And I

wasn't even there for it, which is so fitting. I think, Yeah, it worked out pretty well what I wasn't there for it? Quick little history of Help I Suck It Dating? Just for those do we even want to talk about this or do we want to jump into this new format? I said, we just jump right into the new form. And everybody who's Whoevers listening to this probably listening to help us, like just hoping we could take a quick trick down memory lane. But I understand what the whole

hands we can do it. I understand if we don't want to do that. Yes, So, as we're trying our best to allude to, we have a new podcast, new name, most importantly an incredible new co host. Um you will get introduced to her in just a second. Our new podcast name is help we suck at being newlyweds? Because I guess we just don't suck at dating anymore. No, I mean your newly weds. I am not a newly weed anymore. I'm curious if I sucked at being a newlywed. I don't think so. I mean I I made it

to the Altar, so how badly could have sucked? Can I? Can we just also back up and help to find newlywed because you're going to introduce me please? Okay, we're just building the anticipation. You didn't make it to the Altar as a newlywed. You left the Altar. Yeah, that's right. And so technically me in this great new co host that we have are not newly so yeah, you're just you're just plain old fiances. That's boring. You suck at being newly weds because we're not even newly weds. That's

and we stuck at to finding newly weds. That's right. All right, Well, we beat around the bush quite a bit here. As they say, we have a very incredible heavy hit and co host joining us on this great new podcast. Help we suck a heavy hitting. Is there something you wanna tell me, Dean we can talk? Well, that's why she sucks at being a newly wed. Welcome to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen, Kaylin Marie Miller Keys, Yeah, thank you, happy to be here, Happy to be here.

And you suck at being a newlywed because your last name is still Miller Keys, but my last name is still Alert, So yeah, I think we both suck a little bit. Yeah, so I'm super excited to be here. I've been actually okay, we're not running down memory lane. But it's so funny because the last time I was in the studio were one of the last times you guys were recording help I suck a dating and Dean wouldn't even let me be in the room, so I had to go to Whole Food to cross the street

and make myself busy. And he told me when we first started dating, you will never be on the podcast. Like I'm making a point, you'll never be on the podcast. And now not only am I on it, but I'm a co host. Well, and there's a reason that I didn't want you on the podcast because I didn't want it to feel like I was using you to bolster my podcasting career. I didn't want to make it feel like I was like using you to get more listeners

or anything like that. You didn't want John Paul Jones to bust down the door, and you are doing this for your podcast. I stif with the one I opened for a long time because of that John Paul Jones guy. Um, But now that I'm has been I definitely need you to you know, get us. Yeah there going on. We need you to bolster this podcast that that idea hit the expiry day. So thank you so much for co

hosting with us. It's gonna be interesting. Um, you know, for lack of a better word, working with with your partner. I think about our challenges in our relationships. I think it's good, which I think will be like therapeuter in a sense. And then there's sometimes where I'll be squeezing your leg like not that. Yeah, I think it's gonna just tear us apart, rip us apart, limb by limb that he said that when I got approached for the idea of doing the podcast, He's like, it'll either bring

us together or it'll tear us apart. It's definitely not going to tear you apart. I'm not concerned about that. No, he just likes to be, you know, say outrageous things. Here's why I think, here's what our biggest issue is going to be. And it was an issue this morning to um Klin wants to be five minutes early to everything, and I know his podcast works and five minutes late is right on time. And I'm sure Daniel and Hanter

probably disagree with that. But that's gonna be our biggest hurdle to overcome, is Caitlyn rushing Dad on the podcast and me saying, Klin, it's not that serious, just your time, lower your stress levels. I agree, And we're going to start off every podcast with me being stressed and Dean being annoyed with me. Were you're gonna start off podcast doing it by yourself for about eight minutes? Well, okay, and also Jared sometimes too. I'm not alone? Pretty good?

I mean I I this past year was definitely my worst, especially in the beginning of the year. I was going back on the Instagram and watching those clips of me in the office at Audrey's and being like, I'll be right back and I have to go make a sandwiches. That time has passed. Okay. Now we're a fully functioning, running business. We're doing just fine. We're not here to talk about artist. We're here to talk about help I Suck at being newly woods? So what does that mean,

Jared being a newly wed? Well, just what does it? What does it mean? Like our podcast? What are we going to talk about? Well, I mean it's going to be a continuation of help I Suck a dating where we talking about relationships, dating, talk about your guys experience getting engaged, my experience being married. Um, you know, I'm interested to hear about your guy's upcoming journey of going from fiance's two newly weds. I don't know when the newly wed age ends. I mean, I'm not a newly

wed anymore, right, I feel like you are. You've been married for three years, that's newly wed. I feel like you're still in that early marriage phase. Think about people have been married for twenty years, they're not newly weds.

Three years. Yeah, it's pretty early. Yeah, but then you could it's all about perspective, because then you could look at someone who's been married at six for sixty years and look at the couple who's been married for twenty years and be like, you guys just don't do it right. You don't even know, you don't even know the struggles. So the greatest part about being newly weds was that everybody would buy his drinks. I remember when we were

on our honeymoon. It was fantastic because everybody just found out that we just got married and they're like, oh my god, you're newly weds, and we're like, yeah, we're newly weds. It's pretty fun. And then that war off pretty quickly because then everybody was just like, yeah, your husband and wife, that's cool when you're gonna have a kid. And then we had a kid, and now it's like, oh, that's cool. When you're gonna have a second kid, You're like,

all right, everyone's slowed down for a second. I'm not gonna lie. Part of the reason I want to get married is because of the free drinks that it's too shortly after It's only for about a month. Okay, well we got a month month when you're not being offered free drinks anymore. That's about the time that you realize you're no longer nearly weds. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah, it's because then you're just like, this is it. This

is our life, guys. But if I feel like Caitlin doesn't like that, it's something that actually definitely doesn't like. But like because it I see, I don't mind talking about the relationships certainly not quote unquote lose. It's luster, but it's just not you know, anybody who's been in a long term relationship, and it's scientifically proven that you lose you know, you lose that like lust towards somebody after a while. But then I don't know, I I

that's just the reality of the situation. I feel like a lot of quil And how you feel about that, Like, how does that make you sad to me, it doesn't make me sad because then it's like, no, that's what a relationship is. We still choose each other every day, That's what life is all about. But I feel like Ashley is very sad whenever I bring that up, because it's not like magical to her. No. I think there's

two ways to look at it. And I think the way like media portrays it and most people portray is like, you know, your relationship progresses and then you're not necessarily like lusting after the person in the same way. And then I was talking to a friend who's been married for like three or four years, and she's like, I think it's the opposite. Like the deeper you get to know someone, the more like the stronger the emotional bond is like the more sexually attracted you are to each other.

So I think if you just flip your perspective, I think that's true. I'm gonna ask you a question, are you more sexually attracted Dan now when you first met first met? You can't answer for me. No, I feel like it the more I get to know you, the more I love you, and with that becomes come sexual attraction. Yeah, Okay, I mean, I just got you told me I was handsome a lot more handsomer a lot. That is ridiculous.

That is so false. Also another thing, another thing to point out, we have so much criticism coming towards our relationship at all times. People like, people definitely support us, and I think and I love that, but then you know, things are said, whether they be on a podcast or something else, and there are so many criticisms critiques about a relationship. So it's pretty interesting that I did agree to do this, um just because I think that's going

to bring in even more. But it's okay. And the thing is, like, we're so strong in our relationships, so it's fine. Does the criticism bother you? Of course it bothers you, But does it bother you to a point where it like you can't shake it? No, And I think we do a good job of ignoring it. It's just annoying. It's just like a pest thing. Yeah, it is a pest, and it was something I'm sure you

guys had to deal with. Like when I was first on the show and we would get criticism, I would take people's opinions seriously, and that's something I don't do anymore. Because I would. I would, I certainly wouldn't. I guess yeah, I would listen to them because I would hear what someone has to say about somebody else about me, and then I would say, oh, okay, so that is that is what people think, or like, oh, maybe they're right,

or maybe this is something I should think about. But now I look at it, I'm like, what am I doing with my life? I'm gonna listen to one thousand, four hundred seventy eight different opinions on one subject matter and try to make a rational decision. Of course not but also sorry, but they talked over each other for the first time. Guys, it's a big moment. Was a

big mother right there. But I think a lot of that has to do with, like, you're on the show and it's so much more, it's so many voices coming at you, and then you're off the show for a bit and people just they like care a little bit lesser. If they're following you, it's solely to mostly to support

you rather than like hate. And then we were just with this past week, people who are brand new off the show and they're still stuck in that they're still stuck in like all of the terrible things people are saying at them, and I'm like, just give it a year or two. Well, and that's that's what I was

gonna say too. Is when you and I started dating, you are fresh off the show, and I had been two years removed doing this our last podcast help I stuck a dating for two years, and so eventually you just become numb to it, and you, like, I like to just mess around and toy with it, obviously more so than I should, probably, but I was in that mode and you were still in this phase of having just come off and so you're hyper aware of it.

And so I was saying things from a completely numbed perspective and you were experiencing them all from a hyper aware situation. So that's kind of why it was like maybe more challenging at first, but also it's shocking, like you're you're just this random person that gets plucked onto the show and then you're adjusting to all these voices and negative things coming at you. So it wears off like that's the good thing. Yeah, but I've definitely taken

it and maybe the wrong direction one. You have just like cared a lot at first, and now I care so not something. I care so little. It's just that I'm willing to say outrageous things for the sake of saying outrageous things. Yeah, some things that you don't believe in, but you'll just say it because you know that it's the opposite of what you should say. Yeah. I just like being a converian. I like provoking a second school of thought into some conversations. I also like provoking people,

which I think you can relate to. There's something about like, if you're gonna I don't like provoking people. Uh, are you serious? He definitely likes pro people. There's no way I've never provoked anyone. I don't say things just for the sake of starting an argument. What is the contrarian? Then, you guys, I'm doing it right now. That was the joke, got it? That was the joke. It was funny because Ashley and I were talking about you, Kalen, I don't know.

A couple of days ago, we were talking about Paradise and Ashley says that she always wishes she could google back to Paradise and tell herself, like when she's crawling on the beach, like it's gonna be okay. Like, it's gonna be fine, and you came up and she was like, isn't Maybe it was we were talking about the podcast, but she was like, I wish I could go back to that day that we went to Paradise for christ and Christmas wedding, and it was the day after you

had left Paradise. It was very emotional and you were obviously very upset, and she wishes she could go back at that moment. And she would be like, Kalen, like, I know it's crazy to think right now, but the guy that just left going to marry that man? You will marry that man? Yeah, Okay. Who wouldn't love to be able to time travel back a couple of years, Sonny think about Yeah, it's cool to think about. No,

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. But you know, it's not like you could go back if you were if you were to go back to that time, you wouldn't have the glimpse into the future that we have now. That's my point. No, but you know we're pretending that you can that in our reality, in our world, if we traveled back in time, we would have the foreside

of the future. Okay, Yeah, this is like This is a simple conversation that people have have often, and you're trying to challenge what I'm saying when people would normally say, seen to explain a little. That's all that situation would normally say is I wish I could go back in time and like telling myself everything would be okay, or not worry so much in your time, traveling back in time and tell myself to buy a bitcoin in two

thousand and twelve. Yes, okay, But that song that you love, um, you put it to a real when when I went to your hometown for the first time, I wish that right when I was younger. So that song is basically what we're saying right now. I don't think you're allowed to sing. You can sing. It's I think it's like seven seconds. No no, no, no no, no. You can sing any song as long as you're the one singing, and we sing a whole song. Okay, Well I got two

more seconds then when I was younger. See, the thing is in your world, traveling back in time would so if you travel back in time, you're traveling back into like your sixteen year old body, and you wouldn't know what the future has in store for you. Is that what you're saying in our time traveling, It's like we're not trying traveling back into our body. We're like taking our body right now and putting it in the past so we can talk to ourselves. Sure, but is it interesting? Dude?

We're in the same studio. I will never forget. And we talked about on this podcast many times before about you. We came back from Paradise and then you were here and that's when you were like, I really can't stop thinking about this girl. And we were about to record an episode. Was that the same time? Yeah, we were in the other studio, but yes, what do you mean, I'm trying to think, Yeah, that was the same time, Because how did I not I knew you were Oh,

I knew you were home from Yeah. I got it from going there and then seeing I flew back to record an episode and I was like, you know, let's go back. Yeah, I'll go back. That was a pretty nice time and two ucas anyways, and you didn't miss an episode. I literally didn't because I and this is what people don't always understand is that when Kaylin and I met on the beach, I was down there for two days three days and then I broke up with you after three days of knowing this person. People think

it was like a month and a half. Anyway, we can get into that maybe on a later episode of Help we Suck at Beating newlyweds. What else will this podcast entail? I imagine we'll have some great guests. The thing the thing that concerns me, and it's not a big concern at all, but and and actually we kind of talked about this too. Because now there's three of us, there's less need for bringing guest co hosts and interviewing

other people and stuff. But there's a lot less, a lot smaller of a pool to pull from from married couples than there are from single and dating couples. Because most of the time the show doesn't work right, that doesn't mean it can't work. Look at us, Yeah, look at us, Look at us, look at us, look at us. Me not me, uh yeah. So but we'll be pulling guests as well. But I think, um, you know, this podcast is going to be what this podcast is going

to be, It's gonna be us talking. It's really nice having a female perspective back on the podcast because Dean and I are just you know, break up of the chest. It's going to be kind of awkward though, come like September October. Because we used to have a girl co host on this podcast with us. How long did that last? About a year? Yeah, Vanessa was at least a year and she got and she's just forever. She didn't get invited to a certain person's wedding. Oh my god, AT's

got a little bit awkward. And I'm just saying, come around your September October. We can make it more awkward. We're going to have a wedding, and so a certain co host of it's never going to escape me. Guys, I wanted to go just say it. Man. Here's the thing. I look back on it, and I don't think it's so tough because it's the difference between someone and how

someone asked you. And then also it was different because we were kind of like a part of the engagement where he wanted to like propose and then come back and have people there we have planned for you and actually obviously duh um, and we weren't bringing Dawson because we're like, we're not bringing Dawson's cross country at two

times in one months, this guy. Anyway, I keep live on explaining myself again, this is ridiculous, and yeah, it was really like and I look back and I questioned, if whatever, anyway, you're numbered now no ship, this is bullshit anyway, It's just don't miss the wedding. And we're not gonna miss the wedding. We never missed the winning I don't want to see you can't. Yeah, she's just kidding.

You can't miss something you're not invited to. So this, yeah, my god, this man, you say September October, Well, the weddings in September, but I'm sure the backlash won't really take effect until yeah, yeah, yeah, and then come November it will just be us to co hosting it. Will It will create such deep wounds that I will have no choice. In the past, she didn't leave because of that. Don't put this This guy's playing everything on me? Are right now? Good God? That was terrible though. That was

so bad. I yeah, I look back on that time with regret. But okay, since this is a marriage podcast, I think until you've gone through it, you can't understand because right now we're planning our guest list, and we're planning like I don't want to give away how our wedding is gonna be set up, but it's very specific where we can only have a specific amount of people, um and until you've gone through it, like I want everyone to be there, like everyone we've ever met or

cared about. But let's just not the reality of the situation. And that's me cutting you some slack for not inviting your co host. But it's until you, until you go through it. It's more just it's awkward because you guys

will experience it that you know. I'm not saying it'll be like a public affair like it was for me, which is my mistake, but even like, yeah, there'll be people in your personal life who were just assuming that they're gonna be invited to your wedding and then they won't be invited, and it's going to be even more awkward because unfortunately, there's a huge logistical part of the wedding where you will have a B list because people are going to say no and then seats will open up.

So they're gonna be people who get invites much later than they other people got and that's going to create awkardness because they would be like, oh, they didn't like I'm a back up, and it's like, yeah, that doesn't mean I don't love you or don't want you there, but like it's just the numbers game, you know. So

I agree that now that we've gone through it. Ashley and I were always like we could care less like you guys, we would love to not like, of course we would love to be there, but it's like the bride and groom have to do what's best for the bride and groom, and then everybody else just has to kind of understand that doesn't mean that they don't love you, they don't want to hang out with you, it's just the reality of the situation. They're not gonna sabotage their

entire wedding day for your personal ego. And so that's kind of like how we went into it a little bit. Well, even just the other day, we were talking about who to have seats, who's going to have seats at our rehearsal dinner, and we were like kind of talking about it, and we just had friends I'm sorry, not not friends, but just family at the rehearsal dinner. And then I was like, well, this other friend and his girlfriend have to be there too, because they're a part there in

the wedding. And then Caitlin was like, well, yeah, what about this friend, this friend and this friend, And I was like, yeah, there are friends and we love them, but they're not in the wedding. And because they're not in the wedding, they're not going to be at the rehearsal dinner. And so you want to make these concessions for people, but then if you make it for two people, you have to make it for six people. You have to make it for twelve people. And eventually, I think

we both just eventually agreed like, no, it's family. And then our two friends that are in the wedding are one friend that's in the wedding and his girlfriend. I guess well, I tossed that idea out to our other, like, so are two of our best friends date? And I tested that idea out to her and she didn't love it. So I don't know, we'll figure it out. Is she getting married? I didn't think so. For it's only gonna

get worse. These conversations will continue happening. You got some backlash from her or she she didn't like it very much, But then you do invite her to the rehearsal dinner, and then you're gonna hear from three other friends like, oh, well she came. Why didn't we get to come to that? You know, right, But if we make the guy the beer boy, then he's technically in the wedding too. Yeah, But then then the other friends are like, why can't

I be a boy? It's never ending? And then that's why how we agreed on it, like a couple of ago, I think it is the best way to do. We did, but it's like, so we're the rehearsal dinner is one thing that we figured out. But then it's like the people that from the second we got engaged that would start demming me or texting me, and like it felt like you were weirdly trying to come back into my life just to like get invite. I was like, but we haven't spoken in years, and you can't be mad.

It's just like people want to go to weddings with for people who have cloud it makes the reality of the situation. I was like that when I was on I'm sure you guys got the exact same thing. When your names got announced to be on the show, people were reaching out to me from high school hide and spoken to in like ten years, and they were like, why didn't you tell me you were on the show. Yeah, And it's like, huh, like why would I, why would

I haven't talked to you in so long. We just got a question from one of the producers that said, wants to know what a beer boy is. I was curious, but I kind of just I was like, I'm not I assumed it was like a guy that's just gonna get beer first. So we're not doing groomsman or bridesmaids, um. But we've got a lot of close friends that want

to be involved somewhere or another. And at our engagement party, some like my friends pulled us aside and they're like, hey, you know, we know we can't be up there at the altar with you guys, but I would love to just like act as like a flower girl, but instead of throwing out flowers, like hand out beers to people as they're sitting in the audience or whatever. And it

didn't hate the idea. Um, So that's what a beer boy would be in our sense, is a guy that walks down the aisle v like visa Villa flower girl, but just hands out beers instead of throwing out flyers. I picture like you know that you're at an NFL game and the guys like carrying on beers and like, see it's super so he that is hysterical and I love it. But then you would have to accept the fact that, like before you walked in the one of

his boys is just thrown out beers to people. Yeah, and I don't want people to be wasted, so maybe will mix this or like you don't want some like one of his jackass friends like throwing beers in the audience as you're waiting to walk down the aisle exactly. So, but it's pretty cool, that is funny. It could work. It could work whatever you guys want. Like people have walked on the aisle with lightsabers held above their heads playing to the John Williams Star Wars theme. It's like,

do what you want to do. That's the whole point of the wedding because I'm you guys are going out, you're doing it, You're spending the money. So like my biggest advice is just like whatever you want, asked for it, and try to be persistent towards it. Like for example, with our wedding with the band. We had a playlist and we're like, we we want you guys to play

these songs. And then they were like, like, honestly, we went through a bunch of different bands and we're like, these are the songs that we want to play, and like, we understand that if you can't do it, but if you can't do it, then we're just not gonna have you play at our wedding. And that's totally fine. I thought UM bands would just accommodate playlists. They won't. A lot of bands that we talked to their like this this is the music that we know. This is the

music that we play. Yeah. Right, they can't just learn a bunch of songs right before your wedding. And one of the reasons we did that was because we went to a wedding UM a couple of years ago and it was a New Year's Eve wedding and everybody's sitting down for dinner. When you sit down for dinner, it's everybody's eating and it's a little bit more romantic and they're supposed to speeches. But the band was playing and the music was so goddamn loud, and it was like

they were playing pop hits and Bruno Mars. But it was very awkward because everybody's just sitting down and eating and not dancing, and we were like, oh, we don't want this during ours. We want like a dinner portion, you know, where it's like very nice and the ambiance is great, and then we'll have a band play later on. So it's like, you know, do you guys have any weddings that you're going to before your own? Yeah, like

two weeks before hours, We're going to Mexico. Only two weeks though, because the good thing about going to weddings is you know, it's now like you can now that you guys are engaged in like, okay, now we're planning, you can get ideas. I feel like we we I went to so many last year where we were supposed to do. Yeah, take notes. I've got a question for you. I'm not sure the total guests count for your wedding. Let's say two d there's like we'll just go two

hundred for simplicity. How many of those two hundred were cancelations? Like, like, how many were they're supposed to be if everyone said yes so we sent out I think a hundred and nineties, so we had about fifteen. So you're not going to get that many cancelations for your wedding. I hope we do.

I would not plan on too much, just because when we were talking to our wedding planner, a lot of people are like, you should plan on like at least forty people saying no. Right, But it's different as you've noticed with people reaching out. I think a lot of people are going to want to go to your wedding.

But my point exactly, so like if you send out if there's I don't know where your capacity is, but say your capacity is ninety, most people be like, oh, well, so now a hundred and twenty invites and then like, we'll definitely get under nine. But I would be careful because you might get a lot of yeses just that well, and I was a very strict capacity of like nineties six and and so we're like, you don't want to send out an invite and then have to renege the yea,

yeah exactly. That would be probably the worst. Yeah, so we'll see how that all goes. But yeah, we're currently eight months plus seven and a half months away from the wedding, so which is a great time for the podcast, talking about being newlyweds. We're planning the wedding. It's perfect. Jared and I were just taking a stroll down memory lane before coming in here about when we when Jared came on as a full time co host, and how many great episodes we had because there's so much in

our world, like breakups and relationships. Every week was like a different news story that somehow circulated. Help I suck at data, Yeah it was, and I ken't put my foot in my mouth too, so like grab a headline and Dean says this, yeah, and then I would get an angry Instagram message from the person that I said it about, like you, son of a you, son of acker. Yeah. So so this is good, yeah, because we have seven and a half months to build up a hype for

our wedding, but real quick. So back in the day, I didn't listen. I apologize, But were you saying more Atlantish things than you do now? No? No, no, no, no, he says way more. O. That's definitely been a gradual decline in my sanity just because of the timeline, I guess, but um, I would just my biggest well and I've said this before and help by second dating is my

biggest frustration, not even a frustration really. It was just like an ick I guess if you will, is when everyone thinks, just because you're talking about someone and anyone can listen to it, you have to only say nice things about them. It's like you're not free of criticism just because we're talking about you publicly, like you can criticize. And I would say this to anyone else that wants to talk about me, to criticize me all you want.

Just because you're being talked about on air about something, doesn't mean you are free of criticism, you know what I mean. And just because you're criticizing someone doesn't mean that you're like them, or you don't you're good people or anything exactly. And yeah, and that's and and people will just read the headlines of the articles and they'll like read the negative things and get upset about it.

And it hasn't happened so much lately. But there was the instance we went to a premier party like a couple of months ago, and a guy was there that I've been pretty open about talking crap about, and he was like extra cold to me the entire time. Yeah, can we say who it is? No, I mean no, and maybe and maybe in my head I was just like imagining it to be worse than it was. But um, but you've you've publicly talked about help. Second, Yeah, there's

assuming he's a part of Bachelor. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course there was. Honestly, I don't know anyone that has any notoriety outside of vascination. Well I have a question though, quickly before we move on, because there were some hot topics that we should talk about. But dude, you're gonna be a husband. Yea. My whole life has led up to this moment. Are you guys gonna find the papers before you? Like, like, are you gonna sign it that weekend? You're gonna sign it? Like months beforehand.

I haven't even thought about it. But we are in the process of changing our last name, so I feel like our last names will be changed and then maybe probably before So you are Klin Marie Marie Miller Keys, Klin Marie Miller Keys, And what will your name now be? Caln Miller Bell just like flows a lot better. Don't you think that a middle name as Miller? I like it, I don't hate it. My mom did the same thing. She dropped her middle name, and now she's Miller. Gotcha.

And just to be clear for myself and listeners out there, it's not gonna be Kaylyn middle name or Dad did Miller hyphen Bell. It's gonna be Kyln Miller first middle and then last name. Okay, cant change my middle name. My brother, when I presented this idea, he really wanted to change his middle name to Bronco. You wanted to be Brad Bronco Bell. I thought it was Shaka Shaka. It was one of the two. He played with it a little bit, like Brad Bronco. It's Brad Bronco Bell.

That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. And his wife like wasn't super stucked about it. So he just dropped his whole middle name and now it's just Brad Bell middle name. Not there, are you dropping your middle name? No, I'll keep Michael. He dropped his middle name because he his middle name was our father's first name God, and so he was dropping the last name to disassociate from that a little bit. So yeah, so I'll I'll be Dean

Michael bell Um. But yeah, we're beginning the paperwork for that I'm not really sure the whole process or what goes into that, but we got company doing it for us, which is nice. And did you have any reservations dropping your name? No, not at all. My last name is so hard and yeah, just in terms of spelling the length, it's very hard to fly because some people do a space, some people do a hyphen, some people do you you know, space,

And so see how that really matters. It really does because there's been so many times where it's like your last name doesn't match. And then one time, like two years ago, at the DMV, they spelled my last name wrong and they just lost the hyphen and told me that they couldn't use a hyphen, and I was like, I've had an idea for many years. So then that caused a lot of issues going to the airport as well, and my passport didn't match. So did she ever change

her name or she still like Eddie? She's still like an Eddie. She changed it like on social but she hasn't legally changed it, right, so she goes by Ashley like an Eddie haven M. But her name is That's funny because we were just talking the other day about that. Sarah's the opposite. She's Sarah Adams, but she still goes by Sarah Hyland. It's Sarah Adams. I didn't know that. I'm pretty sure I remember that correctly. I could be misunderstanding this. She's also because she's just, you know, like

a celebrity. She's an actress, so like makes I feel like actress. Actors and actresses just don't change their last name, kind of like weakens your brand a little bit. Kay Hudson, Yeah, yeah, like I didn't. Wasn't Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt married? Oh yeah, she wasn't Gwyneth and Brad Blake Shelton Blake Shelton. No, you guys are what is that? Were? No? No, guys, So like, yeah, she's married to Blake Sean, right, so

she's not Gwen Sheldon. No, that would be weird. So I feel like Sara Hiland, she can't change her name Sarah Hiland, Yeah, anything, it would be wells I do worry about that, you know, going from the younger to Dean Bell, I'm a big, big sleib. People are gonna be like, who's this Dean Bell coming out of nowhere? I don't even like this guy on fallow uninterested. Even you more as Deanie Babies than Dean Angler. That's true. Even my brother calls me Deanie babies. Kyln calls me

Deanie babies, which I don't like that very much. I did not call you. What's my name in your phone? Actually might be? It is a good question, really, yes it is, and hers is a very special name that only I call her. No, no, I mean at this point whatever, do what every doing? But actually still a girlfriend in my phone? Really? Yeah? She likes that. She thinks it's cute. It's very cute. Yeah, it works out for me too, makes it feel like it's not a

serious relationship. Smart yeah, smart smart? What else have we got here? You guys? Today's a big day. I mean today's the real leased a new podcast. And it also is Valentine's Day? Yeah? What are you doing for Valentine's Day this year? With that? Nothing? I hate Valentine's Day. I think it's so stupid. Calin. You don't agree to you. I love Valentine's Day? What do you love so much about it? I love the colors, I love the pink

and rat I love the candy. It reminds me of being in elementary school, when all of your friends would give you Valentine's Day cards and then you go home, you'd read them all and you get a special one from your crush. I just love it. I've never had any of that happened to me as a kid. But you never got a Valentine's Day card from a crush, No, I don't believe that for one second. No way. I remember there was a girl in high school. I don't know if I've told this in the podcast before, but

she I had a crush on her. It was senior year, and then you could send little I think they were a little heart chocolates. You could send them to somebody's desk in their home and like another student would walk in and deliver it. Somebody delivered it. I don't know who the hell delivered it, but somehow I was able

to get this to happen. This was inchool. I was still very insecure as any high school work, but like especially I was still kind of like in my fat zone area, so like still just did not find myself attractive, and so I was terrible at talking to women. But this girl I always had a crush on her, always wanted to talk to her. She played sports, she ran track, and she had something happened to her heart and she couldn't run track that year anymore. And she was so

sad and so beating up over it. And it was right before Valentine's Day, so I was like, got it. So I jared my most suave got the heart chocolate delivered to her with a little note that was not romantic. It was more about the track because I was like, that's such an easy end right there, and just wrote a note saying like I'm so sorry about you know, with what happened the track, like anything, let me know. And but the thing was that one super close friends

with her. It was more like friends of friends, but like definitely had a crush on her. So it was definitely like statement that I did it. I remember just being so nervous because Jim was lunch period that day, so it was later on in the day and we had gym class together. That's how we hung out, and dude, I was so nervous the entire day. I was. I

thought I was everybody, knew everybody. Every time someone look at me, I'm like, they're making fun of me because she's laughing at me, right now, but it was really nice star gym class. She came up, gave me big hug. We talked the entire class. Never asked her out, So pathetic. I never asked her out. You had a pretty good into. You could have been like, I'm sorry, your heart sucks and you can't run track, but let me take care of it and I'll bring it back. Yeah, let me

take care of your heart. Yeah. If the doctor can't take care of your heart, let me take care of it. Give me a try. Dude, where were you in high school? He could have reached his poetry. Should have called me, um. Well, yeah, so it's Valentine's Day. This episode is coming on of Valentine's Day, big day. So you're not doing anything. No, it's not that. I mean, I'm sure we'll you know, we're gonna go out to dinner. I and I'll get her flowers. I'll get Ashley flowers. But I don't know

she makes a big deal out of it. I just think, I mean, how many, especially as we get older, how many celebrations can we possible? We just went through Christmas,

We just went through just complaining about this. Yesterday. I remember I was like, I have to go to this birthday party, and then we have this and the Christmas and it's like, you know, we just had Dawson's birthday, and now it's Valentine's Day, and then Ashley's birthday is in the beginning of March, and then it's like the anniversary when we got engaged, and then it's our wedding anniversary, and then the holiday start up again, and it's everybody's

birthday and I'm like, there's just too much. There's too much. Actually, I love you so much, but like we're not going out. Do you really want to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day? Okay, I don't think you're asking me this what I'm gonna answer. Sorry, I was. I was like talking as if I was talking Nash because I'm like, it's gonna be crowded. There's gonna like all the worst people are going to be out, the people that never go out to dinner. It's gonna be more expensive, more expensive.

But I started doing and I don't know what we did last year, but two years prior, I booked us this nice hotel room and we had our Valentine's dinner like two days or three days early. Because the hotels are cheaper and you don't have to have these crazy lines like I don't really care about the actual day. I just like doing something like but we also go on a lot of dates, so it doesn't matter that much. But I like doing something you go on all dates

all the time. And what I don't like about is there's now an expectation to be extra romantic on this day, where it's like the same with Christmas and birthdays, maybe a little bit different because that's like a personal celebration, but like the expectation to deliver a gift and you know,

do all these things. I hate that. I would rather have like a meaning like I'm out and I'm shopping or something, and I see something that reminds me of you, and so I get it for you then, rather than like an expectation of me having like show up with a great gift for you on Christmas or whatever. You see what you're saying, it's just more forced, it's more forced,

and it doesn't feel quite as genuine. Yeah, you know, I'm looking up where we were in last February, don't remember, but I just I don't need that much for Valentine's Day. That's all I'm saying. And this is Valentine's Day, getting back to what the day is, and Umdina and I will not be together on Valentine's Day. He will be in Antarctica with the penguins and I'll be by myself in Vegas with our dog. That's right. So what are

you going to Antarctica for? Yeah, so by the time this airs, I will be passing the Drake Passage via ship. I'm just going to take pictures of penguins and icebergs. And it's just been a dream of mine always go to an Artica. So I signed up for it two years ago. COVID got in the way. We weren't able to go last year. Dan was so sad last year it got canceled like two weeks before. Yeah, why just because South America. I think I got hit a little bit harder by COVID because they didn't have as much

access to the vaccine, is what I'm assuming. I'm not certain about that. And so because of that, they, you know, they had to kind of like put it ban on tourism for a little bit longer than we were in here in America and being on a boat with fury other people for two weeks is just like central. Yeah, so yeah, they rescheduled it. I'm finally going on this February. Obviously, I think I'll still be able to record. I've been

asking some questions, like, hey, will we get WiFi? From the situation on the ship, I was like fully expecting, like no, you dummy, there's no way you're gonna WiFi, And they were like, it's actually pretty good. They are like parts where you won't have it, but they're like, yeah, they'll have WiFi of the time. So how do you feel when he goes on these trips? Oh, I'm fine with it. This one's better than Pakistan was a little sketchy, and Nepaul was pretty sketchy too because he was doing

Nepaul by himself. So this one, it's like he's with forty people. Yeah, but then afterwards going to be a week and a half. Yeah, But Patigonia is safe. I guess. It's pretty harsh environment down there. It's just me, but it is like summertime. It's like summer fall for them down there. Yeah. Do you guys think that when you're married you will ask him politely but firmly to slow down some of these adventures slow Yeah, would you? Um? Yeah? If kids are involved, I think it's different. I'll take

the kids with me. That's worst. If our kid could be have hit all seven continents before he turns five. Sure, kid can do fun stuff, but not like sketchy stuff. Yeah, in a very safe and uh fun environment, which is not the Dean Angler environment. If we have kids, big, if if we have kids, that kid is going to what just always opted for that emphasis? How big is the how big is the F in the font? Like if you're opening a Microsoft word document and choosing the

font size, what size would the font b? What does the size matter? All right? Twelve is normal. I don't know what the size will be. It depends on the day, That's what I'll say. It depends on the day. Some days we're talking about Debbie like she's coming soon, and then other days like Debbie's never coming. And I don't mean to interrupt you, but does that not does that fact alone not make you concerned about having kids, The fact that you're so hot and cold about whether you

want them or not. Oh? I but I think it's also we're not even close to being ready to have kids, so that's a big factor in it, right, I've told Kalin, I mean, I do want kids, um, but like I've grown up imagining myself having kids. The only reason I'm so anti kids now is because my life is so voltal and I don't even know if I can support myself. My life is so awesome. I don't want no, not even like I'm just speaking solely from I agree with this. I agree with this point that our jobs are just

so up in the air until we are successful. Wedding photographers are your successful carpenter Um. I don't think like every day I wake up, I wake and this is true. Every day I wake up and I think to myself, all right, if I never make another dollar, I could probably survive another three years on the money that I have saved up. And you now add a kid into that mix, that three years goes down to three months. Yeah, okay, I did agree with you. But also you have so

many skills, like you can do whatever you want. Yeah, But the thing is, I don't want to have to do anything. I mean, that's the problem. Yeah, I would, but I don't want to have to do anything. Obviously that's the goal. But you want to work a little to get to that. I want to find something that it doesn't work. I want to find something that's works.

So excited and passionate about that. It's like, yeah, you're going to work and you're working yourself to the bone, cutting your hand open, and but you're still enjoying it. And you exactly, I've never had a job in my life where I had it. Actually, I never enjoyed a job I've had in my life. But I'm also my own boss, which is one of the reasons why I like it. But the problem is there's a lot of sacrifices to go into it. Like I mean, I put a lot of money into it, and I hope I

recoup it. There's a lot of risk involved, so that's very scary. And then also a lot of people depend on me for their lively, you know, so there is

a lot of nerves to it. But I will agree that like I would, I would not enjoy it as much if I had to directly answer someone in terms of like how the restaurant needs to be, especially the life that we've been so lucky enough to live over the past few years, where you like, are so and like, my only bosses are sitting in this room with us right now, and they hate me to death because I'm so hard to wrangle as you're like, can we please get out of here sooner? It's already been an hour.

I need to leave. And now could you imagine me in like a regular workplace? No, I would you you You would do it too. I feel like you would do it if you had to, and you would do it if you have to. But I came up with the perfect business idea for helps me to build stuff for people. I think, like every month he builds five pieces of furniture and releases them. It's limited release, and he can sell them for a great amount of money.

But that takes the joy out of building stuff because it's like fun for me to learn and screw up and then but that's the thing, It's like nobody knows when it's going to drop because you're so unpredictable. Yeah, I'm like Banksy exactly. And you know what else is fun? Being able to make money off of something that you can do what I'm saying. But also like photography, love photography.

But the second that started becoming feeling more like a job or like an expectation, where like my managers always like you have to post more. I'm like, well, I just like I don't want you to tell me how much I have to post. I want to do it when it comes freely naturally life. Somebody's always gonna be

telling you to do something. To my point is that expectation takes the joy out of it, Like sir, of course, any like even like dude, you say, like I want to find your Audrey's you don't think that like Audrey's job. To me, it very much is there's times that, trust me, there are many times from like I regret opening this

because it's just so exhausting, time consuming. But it's just the balance of trying to be like, okay, well I'm also you know, I see other people who don't have the luxury that we have, that have to work at nine to five, that have to be at a job that theycent of the time hate being at. So like, just you know, balances. I guess all this to say, uh, kids are going to be become more of a serious topic once my financial future becomes a little bit more. But the thing is, do you have to work, you

have to do something. I've done a pretty good job of that. Is not going to last. I disagree. I think it will last for maybe a month more. Well, no, that's fast. But you, I mean you work. I mean I see you do stuff on social media. Here, I mean my hope. Obviously everyone hopes this, and I'm delusional for even thinking this, but like, you just do the things you love until eventually an opportunity comes, like I don't. I hated this at first. I hated podcasting at first.

I was awful at it and I still ain't pretty bad at it, but I at least now find joy in it, whereas before I would like drag my feet and not really like it. But my point is, like I'm imagining this is how I imagine it going in my head. I just do stuff I love, travel to wherever I want to go, take pictures or build stuff or whatever it might be, and eventually someone comes along and they want to pay me money to do the thing that I already loved. Like it's now though, you're

building a deck your floors here. I mean, sure, yeah, and maybe this is like the infant stage of that whatever it might be. But my point is like I just wanted to happen naturally. I feel like Dean's. One of Dean's greatest qualities might also be his biggest downfall, which is his childlike beautiful, like unicorn spirit. You know, it's just like it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. You know, you just put your energy out there. Can I share

what your brother said to me? Yeah? Sure, okay at his engagement not to me, he said, um at our engagement party. I don't even know. Yeah, yeah, when my brother called me a no, you can't say that. He actually I figured out the word he used. He called you out, he said. Everyone thinks Dean is this easy going guy like just you know, shows up and everything works out for him. But really he's just a little because everyone does everything for him. I hate so much

that I still have not even an. I don't even confront of him this. He's like he thinks he says that because he's like he does like the root planning

up a mountain or something. But the way it sounds like to me is like he's saying that he's like carrying my food and my back back and everything, kind of like what I do when I take you on trips, and it doesn't I don't like it because it makes it takes away a lot of the hard work that I do on those trips specifically, not like that, not the hard work that I do actually because you know, if you and far between. But I've just been pointing it back to the work stuff, like you just want

to show up and like it's kind of handed to you. No, I want to show up, have fun, do it on my own terms, my own time. My own role doesn't exist. It will exist, and it will exist for me at some point. Well it can exist. I mean, you just your your own boss. But you have to figure out what you can do on your own even like which is everything you could do anything, but like, okay, let's

let's look at your wife for an example. Yeah, I think she's a good example that she is because she is doing she loves being on TV, she loves hosting, she loves all the stuff that she's doing. And and she works for ass off. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure, and but I'm sure it doesn't feel like she's working her ass off. I'm sure it does, But I feel like she's enjoying wonderful job you have any time because she's doing it, and she's like stoked about that you

know what I mean. Yeah, but you're also just like negollecting all the emails and text messages into networking that she's done. And she does a lot of it, and she's very good at it, and she pushes me to do more of it as well, and I do the best I can. But she she's a worker in that aspect where she she she not only does she put things out in the university, but she asked for things and she goes to the people that can get things done and be like, hey, this is what I want,

this is what I'm thinking. Is a possible She's the hardest worker in bachel Nation probably, Um, well, it depends. I mean, listen, there's a lot of people who are also you know, like welders in different types of jobs that are like much more physically, but like Ashley is the type of person that I think one of the things that I admire most about her is that she is I think one of the first people from Bachelor to like really do what we're doing, and she pushed

for She's a trailblazer. She's on TV last five years, five years ago, maybe last time, whatever it was. I mean, you're engagement, I guess, but who's counting that. And we've like sprinkled throughout you know, we were on Paradise this past year. And so my point is like she's still a very central figure, unbelievable beer of bachelor world. So talk about it all the time. She's she's doing a

good job. She does an incredible job, but she works at it like you talk about like I think a great example, as you said, like earlier, your manager said you have to post for and you were like, well, I don't want somebody to tell me to do that. Trust me, She's been told many times of what to do. She does it. I just don't know. It's just just my big thing about that is my manager wants me to post things that I don't want to be known for,

you know what I mean. I want to be known for like a interesting travel photography guy or you do do that. I do do that, but those trips are sometimes infrequent and I'll go on a month long trip and I'll post for that month, but then I don't go on a trip for three months, and then I don't post on social media. What does she want you to post about? Literally? Anything trans me to pust like like daily lifestyle of shots us because we get better,

you know, but you definitely get better engagement. But my thing is, I don't want to I want to be known for other things instead of just the guy walking around l A. And what's wrong with being known for all of it? Trust me, you are very well known within the Bachelor community and your own Instagram about how you are very adventurous. I agree, but I think that what you have to do and you and again I'm

just an idiot talking right now. I think turned into Dean's business class does really I feel like we've gotten so far off track. Um, I want to post. I want to post things that I like my photographer Friens would look at and be like, oh, Dean's doing cool things with photography. I don't. I don't care if like I don't know, Mary Sue is like, oh, I really want to see pictures of Dean and Kalin. You shouldn't care about Mary suon. You probably shouldn't care about your

photographer friends either. You should post about things that you want to post about, but that would include your adventures and your feels right, But I also hold those things to a like. I don't. I don't like not to a higher standard. But I want to post things that I think are cool, and those things are sometimes hard to get. You're trying to say that fiance is not cool. She's very cool. I'm really proud of her. She works incredibly hard too, She's very I believe I see it.

But yeah, this this has turned into a Dean business lesson. Maybe we should get back onto something. Sorry, it's fascinating to me, but it's a good I think it's also a good lesson for everybody who's listening about just no matter what profession you're in, what profession you want to get into, Like, there are certain things that you're just gonna have to put work that thick into and also not be afraid to work towards those things. And I've

suffered from the same thing. Like a lot of times I don't do things because I'm just afraid of failing, because I feel like if I fail, just I'll feel like an idiot. But then I try to at least center myself and say I'd much rather fail then never try at all, because sure, I like when I separate myself outside of my body, I'm like, I respect the person so much more if they go for it and they fail rather than they never try. And so like,

why am I the person who's afraid to try? When I'm I'm looking at that person, be like, no, go do it right anyway? All this to say, kids are started. If you know my history, We're gonna have kids. And I am going to take the kid to every country in Africa if I can take him to an Arctica. If I can, of course, but I don't want him going on a crazy hy to Pakistan. Why not, I'm going to throw him in the baby carry on the

back and bring someone old man died. A little baby will be perfect to I don't know, it would be cool to have a little baby that you don't like your My lifestyle shouldn't change just because we have a baby. It's the baby that doesn't even have a lifestyle yet that's going to learn the lifestyle that I tell it to learn, you know what I mean. That's I think it'd be cool to bring a baby to Antarctica. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, on a very safe, big commercial

airline in a very nice hotel. Huh, you don't fly to Antarctica. I don't think there's hotels, are there? There's like an Antarctica there's nothing. No, there's like a science station, but you take a boat. I'm so confused. You're telling me that you can't fly into Antarctic. I think that they are just now toying with the idea of commercial flights, and there are probably private flights. But you can only take a boat to Antarctica. Yeah, commercially, you can only

take boats. I didn't So where are you flying to in order to pick up this boat? To an article? You're not taking a boat from the States. No, the southernmost point in South America. Ushway, you take a three It's a three day boat ride from there to Antarctica across like the most treacherous seas that you can Debbie. Debbie's got some sea legs. She's got no legs yet, but she would have some sea legs anyways. Anyways, Um, that's that's how I imagine it going. But Kalen and

I are still young ish, you know. Yeah, but this depends on how many kids you want. We'll see. Maybe maybe once I put the husband name in front of my name, then I'll have a different feeling towards it. But and it's interesting, like it's so true you know, people have babies all the time with so far, so much less than we do. Like, we're incredibly blessed to be in the position that we are, and people that are less fortunate than us have children and they do

perfectly fine. They work their balls, their butts off, sorry, and and they figured out. And you always find a way to figure it out. I am a firm, firm believer in that, Like you always find a way to figure it out. But I just want some more certainty, I guess for my own sake and insanity. But that's where we're at. I mean, I think that was a great first episode of Help. We suck at being newlywood. We're already at each other's throats. It's so good. Oh,

this is fantastic, What a great dynamic. I thought when you were like, can I tell them what your brother said? I thought you're gonna say what Ross said, and I was gonna be like, yeah, that's a really nice thing for him to say. So I say, he said, Dean has this all of my greatest qualities and none of my worst qualities. I remember him saying that, But when did you say that? He said it to me a long time ago, and I just told you that. He told me that it was like the most meaningful thing

I've ever said to me. That's not fun to talk about. I thought you're going to say, like, yeah, for sure, Oh my god, talk about it all the time. You guys can follow us at our brand new Instagram. It's just it's still the same Instagram, which is changing the handle. We are at help we suck at being newlyweds. Of course, you can email us at newly weds at I heart radio dot com. I think we're gonna start doing emails again, which is pretty exciting. We haven't done emails and quite

some time. I missed the emails. Those are fun times. Those were fun times. The callers were great. They gave us a nice like back and forth with a live person. But the emails have a little bit of nostalgia attached to them. Yeah, and I just think it kind of went off. I just liked that. I like the better

the most callers they were. There was some heavy conversations sometimes. Yeah, I remember there was like there was just a lot of stuff in there, and I was like, I don't know if I can, I don't know if we can. You should probably just call the cops. Well, thank you so much everybody. Kalen, how do you feel? Oh, I'm so excited. This is great. Episode one in the books, episode one, it was wonderful. Um, you guys are always great, So I'm excited for what this podcast is going to be.

Wish we could do more in studio. So no, it's pretty fun in studio. It's not easier. From October most of the all the co host will be in l this guy anyway. That will do it. For this week's episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds, Dean, should we listening together? Tune in next week? Yeah, tune in next week where maybe just a little bit less for three? Yeah? Yeah, sure, next week we suck just a little bit less? Very good,

I said, damn. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help We Suck at Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at I heart radio dot com. Make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. We'll see you next time. M hm.