Hard vs Soft Launch with Jill Chin

what's going on? Hey guys? Yeah, I don't know if you've heard that, but that was the audience that making a very loud round of applause. So we're happy to have you here. Um, what's going on? So we were just talking before um starting this recording that you live in Rhode Island, five minutes away from Jared right now. That blew my mind. I do. Yeah, I just moved down to Newport, which is closer towards Jerry. Are you sure you don't have in Newport, California? Are you certain

it's not Newport, California? Which coast are you on? Yeah? I'm pretty certain. I'm definitely an East Coast girl through and through. I just don't like the West Coast for living, for visiting. It's great, but just not for you. Thank you, Jared feels me on that. Yeah, that's how I feel about that. But the opposite. Actually, yeah, I don't know. Only just recently had a big earthquake and I was like,

I God, I wasn't there. Even though earthquakes, I guess aren't the scariest thing when you really think about it, I just get terrified of just waiting for that fall to a round. Yeah, a big building falling on top of you. That, yeah, pretty much. I've always wanted I've always wanted to live on the East Coast. I just I don't think I could handle it. There's like a certain way of life that you go through on the

East Coast. It's like high pace, really forward and like cranky people, but they're getting the job done, so it's okay. I don't think I literally I don't think I would thrive very well on that atmosphere. Yeah. I like that so much better than just like lazing around, like I just can't. I just can't do it. It's on my bonus, No, I mean, I respect that, but thank you so much for joining us. Like I said, Bachelor Paradise season eight. Um, but what Bachelor's season were you on? You were on Clayton.

She was on Clayton's. I remember the first night, the very first night we opened Audrey's. It was slammed in there and I was bartending, and it was like a reality of like, Okay, now I'm back into the weeds of things after years of not bartending, Like here we go. And it was the first night, and so obviously there were a lot of Bachelor fans there and then come in like trying to say, you know, Ashley was there

mingling blah blah blah blah. So I'm making drinks and all of a sudden, this girl walks up and you ordered. I don't know if you ordered for me or not. But then she goes by the way, um, Jared, I'm on this season Bachelor. I couldn't hear her and I was like what, and she was like, I'm on this season of the Bachelor, and I was like, what the hell.

That's awesome, And then obviously ended up being Jill and I. We didn't really talk that night just because it was so chaotic, but I don't know how if you exchanged some Ashley or me or how we got in contact, but then we ended up hanging out together and you came back to Audrey's and we got to get to know you and Jill is just the best and and that was the first time we ever met each other. So crazy. Yeah, I know, I feel like that's kind of like an embarrassing but not theing. I just like

showed up. I literally just showed up to like the craziest night. If I was like, Hi, like, it's not weird, I would have done the exact same thing. It's like weird because you were you literally were like twenty minutes away from Like, oh, I'm like, because once you're it's I guess it's weird. I wouldn't look back on it weirdly.

I guess you know, at the time it might have been a little weird, but like now that you're part of this Bachelor family for of a better term, which it is a family, like you understand that it's For example, Dean, I'm sure that you've heard stories have done it yourself where you've reached out to other people within Bachelor to crash at their place when you're traveling, Was that you, Dean? Yeah, No, I've never done that, but I've heard some very funny,

nightmarish stories about that. Yeah, I don't know who was. We were hearing a story about a guy who was like a couple of guys like going around and like, hey, this guy lives in Denver, Like I should just reach out to him he was on that season, Like he'll know who I am, and they end up crashing there in his guest bedroom. Well, I've heard some funny stories about Ben Higgins offering his place up to some people. I think that's the story you're prop now. It's yeah,

it's coming back to me now. Yeah, I mean I'm not saying it's a good idea. I'm just saying it happens. Yeah, it's not that weird. But you're right, especially in hindsight, it's not. Um, so you just showed up at Jared's bar and you're like, Hey, I'm gonna be on the season in the back. That's I mean, that's I think that's a power move. I think that takes a lot of bravery and a lot of courier It's really cool. Yeah, I feel like at that time, I was so like lost.

I didn't know what to expect, like the season hadn't aired, it, like nothing had happened yet, and I was just like sitting with all of this like knowledge and all of this anxiety about the future. And so I'm so glad that I had Jared nastionally to kind of shepherd me through the process, because that was it's nerve wracking. It's crazy. Yeah, I mean, and Ashley loves doing that to Jared as well.

But when I was going through the whole Bachelor stuff, Ashley acted as my shepherd as well, so she was helpful helping me make decisions and uh, which you know, you guys make great decisions, but I sometimes you put a lot of your faith in someone you don't even know at all, and it's well, yeah, it's more like for Ashley and I I think, especially now, we're our

advice for Jill. When Jill you were like, I don't know if I should do Paradise, and it was like just we were just like, just go and be unapologetically yourself, cry like do like go crazy because that's just who you are and people are gonna love you for that.

And I feel like, play it out exactly as actually and I assumed it would, which is like you, I mean, obviously we're hoping that you find love the most most importantly, But through that process, I I felt like You're gonna be very Ashley like in terms of you just like just saying exactly what's on your mind with no filter and just being so emotional and so fantastic. And I feel like so many people love you for just being yourself and and and not being afraid of that. Yeah,

I definitely did take your advice. I remember being like, I don't know if I should do Paradise, like blah blah. I was sot on it. But then once I did it and I'm helping you guys, I knew you guys were going to so I was like, oh my god, like this will be good, Like I all my friends are there, and yeah, I just kind of really sent it and I just kind of went like full send, and I was unapology entically myself. Like people ask me all the time, like are you really like that in

real life? And it's like kind of like kind of just like a heightened version, I guess, just because like you know, all of the factors that go in. But dude, sauce. Why then are you biting me? Get away whatever? Anyways, Um, but yeah, Paradise was just a moment in time. Well, let's talk about Paradise because I'm curious. Okay, how was it as a whole experience for you? Because like, it's obviously one thing to take advice from Jared and Ashley

who are happily married with a child. Yeah, you know, and I guess me too because Caleb and I are you know, soon to be wet as well. But how was it for you? Because we saw you date Jacob predominantly? I mean that was the big story. That was like the main story arc in my opinion, was you and Jacob and um, but and then you you guys like broke up. But then we saw that you might have gotten back together. But then but then we didn't really

know much you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean, okay, so Paradise as a whole, I feel like immediately when I left, I was like, that was the worst thing ever, never ever contact me ever again. I hate this so much. Like that was when I first left. But then after I you know, it was reminiscing like okay, that was

kind of fun. And then you know, then it started to air, and I was watching myself go like having these feelings for people, and then with Jacob it kind of was like, oh, like do I still have feelings? Like I don't know. We started to talk like during that time, and then we were filming the reunion and I got to see him and it was just like I was sober. I was conflicted for such a long time, like Jared, and it was like I called up like him and Ashley, and I was like, what do I

do about this? Like I was. We were having issues like long before we even filmed the reunion, and then the reunion aired and then he hard launched it and then immediately it was awful and it was really bad. It was really bad. But trust is broken. I found out things that I could not find out and I had to break up with them and it was really bad. And you did the right thing first and foremost. Let's just put that in the year. Don't ever forget that,

which is sure that was the right move. Like Jacob is very nice, man, I'm not saying that like, yeah, I got along with him in Paradise, but you and this is no disrespect to Jacob. This is more of my respect towards you, Jill, but you can do so much better. Oh I know, I know. And I was just like we were having those conversations. I was having those conversations with a lot of people in my life during that time. I was like, do I really want to commit part, like part of my life to this

dude right now? Can he even does he have the capability? Does he like to connect with me on this level? Like all those things were running through my mind, and then I think it was just the nail mccoffin, you know, like I found out some information that was really the mail mccoffin, and I was like, all right, like this is my out. I'm the leave, good luck and good ridding.

Don't you feel Don't you feel so like vindicated when you like because a lot of times, uh maybe I'm just speaking for myself here, but a lot of times in my past relationships, you know, you know things are going bad, but there isn't like one thing where you can be like, all right, that's the thing that's going to get me out of here, and then something bad happens and you're like, well that's perfect, That's exactly what

I was waiting for. Now, I'm not going to be a bad guy because you made the mistake and I wanted out in the first place. Yeah, yeah, I definitely felt vindicated for sure. It wasn't what I wanted, Like I wanted him to, you know, like do a one eight and turn into this great like Prince charminga that was perfect for me, but that was never going to happen. So when it was kind of like thrown in my face like this is you know, the universe was really telling me this is not the path to go on,

I was relieved. I was sad, and then I was relieved. The day It's just embarrassing, though, I'll be no, come on, it wasn't embarrassing, but it is. Especially it is especially challenging when you're getting a lot of input from people you've never met telling you how great you guys are together, which I would imagine you and Jacob were receiving and then and then you had you like, wow, maybe we really argued together, but in reality you're not good together.

But you're probably to convince yourself you are. Yes. I was like, everyone's like, oh my god, they're made for each other, and I'm like, where are we? Like I don't know, but I was willing to give it a shot because we did have like fun, you know, like

but fun just isn't enough to sustain a relationship. And so yeah, that was tough having to deal with like, oh my god, like do having to deal with public perception and having to deal with people be so sad like invested in this relationship that I wasn't even that invisteded to begin with. Um, yeah, it was just that was that was hard. And then knowing that, oh my god, like because when the reunion aired, we were we were

like still together. It was good. Then shortly after that, like people still thought we were together and they were expecting like you know, Jacob and Jill content like you know, all of that, and I was like, oh my god, I have to tell these people this over and I can't say why, and like all of these it was just crazy. Can you say why here? Um, I think I kind of alluded to I've alluded to a lot, like you know and everything that I've said in other

podcasts and like to the media. Um, but yeah, the trust had been broken, and I think people can kind of read between the lines what that means. Let's just get all of the presumptory, presump presumptuary stuff out of the way, can you. Let's just just let's just let's just put it all out there. Let's just say what

it is. I don't know if I'm gonna say what it is, but it was I don't want to say direct infidelity, but maybe um, you know how in like legal terms, there's like, um, it's not murder, but it's like intent to murder. It's like intent to you know. Yeah, I think Jacob was just not in the headspace or ready to be in a committed relationship with anybody. No, not at all. And I mean, God bless him, but it just was not what I deserved or was looking

for at the time. And you know, yeah, well, I guess that's tough, especially, like I said, with the social pressure of it all too. It's it's you see it time and time again with with men, especially coming off these shows, especially you know, like, for lack of a better word, mediocre men. Jacob myself included. I do I

fall into this category as well. You go into this show and you're just a regular guy going about your life, and then you go on the show, and then all of a sudden, you get a lot of attention that you're not used to, and and time and time get time and time again. Guys go on the show and they get that attention and they think that they are the best thing since sliced bread, and they you know, they forget a lot of the things about what makes them themselves and they just want to party and hook

up with girls peer lack of a better phrase. So U yeah, Yeah, the experience of a guy going on this show is much different than the experience of a woman going on this show, Oh for sure. Yeah. I think that because the fan base is mostly female and then just all the attention that you get, and guys aren't I mean a lot of them haven't watched the show before. I didn't really watch the show before, but

I kind of knew what I was getting into. But yeah, I feel like we describe it as new cool, like they've never kind of been in this space or no what it feels like in some guys, like, you know, they haven't maybe they grew up and they weren't like super attractive, but then they you know, they've had this renaissance. Yeah, and so, and it's on such a national level, so I feel like it's new cool. And then I've also heard the term bachelor head, like guys get bachelor heads

my gut, Like, yeah, that's funny. I've never heard that. Yeah, bachelor head definitely a thing. And I think Jacob did suffer from bachelor head, and maybe it's still suffering from

bachelor head. But that's his own journey and you will be able to touch I always tell people, like, you know, even when I'm excited for my friends, I'm happy for their wins, would have always like touched grass because this is fleeting and you have to remember who you are, so you know, you have to have pillars of truth that you touch, and you know, to touch grass every once in a while. I do gotta say one thing.

I gotta to Jared's horn real quick. I've done four seasons of Bachelor Too, Paradise, one Winner Games, one regular Bachelorette. I've met a lot of guys on this show, and I've seen a lot of guys get bachelor head. Jared is one of the very few guys. Uh, there's probably a handful, maybe two handfuls of guys that I know

from the Bachelor. Again, this is across eighty guys that didn't get bachelor head, Jared, I feel like always had a pretty good head on the shoulders in that respect, especially like you were never like going out party and like trying to hook up with chicks. You were like, we're focusing on so many other things at all times, even when you were single and Moss Angeles. No, well

thanks bro. But also I had my moments. You know, I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, I never had bachelor head at any moment, but of course every time we're out. Dude, when I first went after the show and tean you could part relate to this, and then it happens. It's almost like a shock, you know, because I'll never forget when the first after like Bachelor started airing, people wanted to meet me and take pictures

with me. It was more so like, hey, guys, I'm not that cool, like I promise you this is weird. It was much more of a shot and then it kind of settles in, and of course I had like moments of weakness. But yeah, I I appreciate you saying that where it didn't like encompass my life, I'm saying more specifically, you never you never leveraged it to hook up with people. I think, at least in my observation, I just leveraged my natural boy looks and uh, you used it to you leverage it to get on video

game and Star Wars movie fan trivia. Damn Ryan, I still do Collider. I missed those days when I went on movie talk and I would do with the showdown. Dude. I know it's so funny because um yeah, I would leverage my bachelor days to do that. But Jell, I wanted to ask you too. So recently, obviously you were at Audrey's. Andrew and Justin were there, and then you posted into stories and tiktoks of like Justin and Andrew on the floor rolling around. What the hell were you

guys doing? So yeah, like I because I was gonna leave Audrey's and I was like all right, like I just wanted to see them. I was like, all right, guys, like I'll be just like, no, we want to hang out. And I'm like, okay, well it's a Monday night, like there's everywhere is closed. It was like eleven o'clock and I was like, you can just come like back to my place in Newport if you want, And so they came back here and I had a couple of drinks and they were just going off, like I I, they're

so freaking funny and we would I was. It was like a show for me. It was amazing. I was just like sitting watching them like just boop boop, like two brain cells just like you know, bumping into each other. And oh my god, it was just so funny. And I hadn't really known Justin. They hadn't really talked to Justin while even though we're in Paradise the other thing. You think we would have mingled, like we did not mingle, And so I got to know him a lot that night,

and that was just so funny. They're the best. They are just hilarious. And anytime I like, any chance I get, I feeled to talk to people from the show or just see them because I there's no other opportunities for me to like, you know, meet up with them. So if they're in town, like I'm going to say, let's hang out, um, but oh my god, they were just on another one. I don't know, there's can you help

shut some light on that relationship with me? Because they seem like really good friends And as as you're talking about them now I think they are as well. But on the on Bachelor in Paradise, it seemed like they were like combatants against each other and they didn't seem like they had a friendship at all. But then you see them on social media afterwards and they're like best friends. Yeah.

I mean I definitely saw that with like Rodney and Justin and then I mean at times like Andrew would be like really down or Justin would be really down, and like, I feel like we can all we were all critical of each other's position at one point, or

critical of each other's actions. Like there's one time where Andrew said that, like, my parents are going to be so embarrassed of me, Like it was like you're an embarrassment to nature and God, I was like, I know, um, But I think that once we were taking out of that environment, like obviously everyone super supportive, kind of see things through a clearer lens, and so I feel like, you know, even even Rodney and Justin are cool, you know, like they they'll hang out and they're cool, even though

they had the disagreement overallies it and all that. But I honestly think that once you're out of that space and kind of like get your head down straight. You realize like your boys are your boy You know that's true. Do you? Is there anyone from your season that you don't get along with? Oh yeah, yes, like actively, how to think of anybody in Purtis that you had feud with? I mean like Ra, I was just about to say, I know, like you and Cira had a thing, but

that was because of Romeo. Yeah, Cira and Romeo. Yeah, Romeo is now single single again. I know I hadn't really I haven't talked to Romeo really since Heire and I have talked since, and like we're fine. We're just like okay, like bygones Bygones's fine. I'm not like we're not actively like the bff. So, but there are definitely some there's some girls for my season that I don't know, Like I realized really soon after I left The Bachelor.

I'm I was like, oh my god, like we're all going to be such good friends, like we went through this experience together. But then I realized that I've only known these people for like three weeks Max and I don't really know who they are, and when they start to show me their true colors, I have to believe them regardless of what experience we went through together. So yeah, that definitely my perception has evolved and changed on some people.

But obviously I respect anybody that goes through this process and I'll be there, like there for them if they gave me. But there's some girls that I'm like, not really keen to hang out with, but love them and support them. I wish you all the best. You know, that's a really that's a really good presence of mind to have that you're because you want to have their

back because you should through this shared experience. But uh, then they start to do things that you question and you're like, well, maybe I don't know this person and maybe I should make a bit of a separation between them. Yeah, for sure, But I think that's in any sort of relationship. You know, how did you get on the show in the first place? Did you get nominated? You apply? Not I applied, good for you applied. Applying takes balls. It

was it was, honestly, goose like. It was just like a little bit because I didn't watched the show before, and then I started to watch My James this season because it's a pandemic, and I was like, I'm bored um So, and I always referenced this clip. I saw a clip on like Facebook or something and it was Anna Redmond and she was saying she's entertaining men for money, and I was like, I was like, what is the show? I remember that? That was t that was crazy? Well,

remember because didn't she do something with her mouth? Wasn't that the thing where she was like from? It was so good? It was so yeah, it was iconic, and I mean all those at Firs expense and I loved Brett um So. That got me kind of hooked. It got me kind of hooked on the show, and I started watching that season and then I broke up my boyfriend of two years, not related. It wasn't like I'm gonna break up, but the only guy on the show

I just like broke up with. A couple of months later, I was like, I'm going to apply for the Bachelor L O L. And then they kept calling me back and I was like, all right, you remember the first phone call you got? Yeah, I do. I was June four. I remember it very specifically. I was, yeah, I was really shocked. I didn't think they were going to call me back. I'm like oh my god. Yeah, like the next round, okay, like next round of interviews. Yeah, they're

not going to call me back. Very strange, and they kept calling what that's awesome? Did your exploit? Did your ex boyfriend of two years ever reach out to you or anything after you went on the show? Oh? Well, he's in like my friend group, and like my friend group is very incestual, and so everybody in the group has had a relationship with somebody else. So I see him all the time, and he's just like, yeah, you're crazy, and I'm like, yeah, well, so wait a minute, So

you see your ex all the time? Yeah, he is he dating someone? No, he has dated people like he's you know, yeah, he's on the apps and goes on dates whatever, but he doesn't have a girlfriend. Interesting, I just friends with your ex. Is It's obviously such a topic we cover all the time on in this podcast, but it's fascinating because I will stick by my, uh my stance that it's just not gonna work. There's no way you can be friends. I'm sorry. I believe that one day you will have to be forced to not

be friends with this human being. I don't think so in my case. On thing. So because I only see him in like, you know, he's in the group chat, or he's you know, at friends giving and I'll see him then, or like at any function. But I when I say I don't have any romantic feelings, that we don't have any romantic feelings for each other, at least I can stay on my part. I truly mean it, um, But it's I mean, it's not like we're texting, you know, we're not you know, we're not interacting one on one.

So I think in a group setting, I think it's a little different. Um. And just because I'm so over that relationship that I think, yeah, it wouldn't be possible for me to ever be like, right, maybe you were going to explore this again, because I just don't think I know for a fact, we just aren't right for each other. I used to always be very I used to always be very pro friends with x is um. But then the longer and further I got into the relationship with Kalen, the more I was like, that's maybe

not a thing that people should do. Not like, I don't just like if you're single, being friend with the next totally okay, but it's just weird. Especially, like you said, Jill, if it's one thing if you're interacting in the group chat or group settings, but if you're like texting sidebar conversations with that person, it's maybe a little bit different. So it's definitely changed my stance on that. Let me

let me play a hypothetical game with you, Jillian. So say, like, let's say hypothetically, you know you're dating someone you know, and then this guy is like, oh, by the way, I just feel like you should know that I'm still friends with somebody I dated for two years, and you're like, okay, and then you find out that they, like, you know, they're just in the group. They never hang out separately, but like you know that, like, oh, you're going to

the friends Thanksgiving? Is that bitch going to be there? Yeah? And then he's like, well, yeah, she'll be there, and you're like, huh, well that would be cool if you could go, but you're not because I hate her and I'm not. I don't know, what do you think, do

you think? I don't know. It's tough though, when you put yourself in that position, because I think about it, you know, being friends with an X, because like you said, you're like oh, of course I could be cool with it, but to Dean's poor And I think the more you get into a relationship with somebody, the more difficult it is for the other person to be okay with you friends with the next like hanging out with that X when you're not they're not even solo, but just like, oh,

I'm hanging out with my my group friends and you're like, okay, Well, that group of friends also includes someone that you dated for a very long time, and it's just like weird for me for you to just go and hang out

in a social setting with this person. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a little different for me because literally every single person in my friend group has dated another member, and I think it's so strange when other people come in, you know, when we bring introduced new people are significant others. They are also very weary of this because it is strange. But I literally consider those people of my family and so like, I don't know, it's just it's really strange.

So pretty much, you have your own little bachelor friend group that was never on the show, which has ended up hooking up with everybody, yes, yes, over like years and years and years, and it's so strange, and people don't understand. We've had it's been it's a very contentious subject with significant others within the group. I mean that

has been a common theme. But I think that there's always you know, if you don't trust somebody, there's a reason why you wouldn't trust them to begin with that you have to I guess there is this assumption that, oh, if you're around this accent, you will be tempted to cheat, or you will be tempted, you know, like there is that kind of there's that premonition perhaps that it could happen.

It's not that I wouldn't like I would assume that, Like, for example, if it was me and Ashley, I would never think, oh, Ashley is gonna go out and cheat on me. It's more so like I trust you, Ashley. I don't trust that person to try to make a move on you and you have just like one moment of weakness, because that's all it takes. Like I've I've had experiences before. We're like I was dating someone and they just had like a moment of weakness and con

changed the relationships. Like she really she didn't actively do anything. She was with a dude, and they were like in a social setting and then like the dude just like made a move on her and they just kissed for a couple of seconds and then she was like and then like she was very honest with me, which is fantastic, and I was appreciating that. But ever since then, I was like, yeah, that's it's it's not you, it's them. But then it just gets like weird, you know, I

don't know anyway, Yeah, I don't know. I feel like that is hanging out with my friends is such a big part of my freedom and my identity that if a partner was not okay with that, then I just had immediately no, you know, And I feel like I always try to make make them really comfortable around that person, you know, like exposure therapy, Like all right, well we're gonna hang out. My friends are gonna you know, it's all of my friends, and he's gonna be there. You

can talk to him, you can whatever. You can interact, you can not interact, but like, see how I am around these people, and you know, yeah, you're like the Spice girls, Like, yeah, if you want to be in my future again with my past, you know what I mean exactly yes, exactly. I've got a question. This friend group that we're talking about, now, where do they live? Like? Are they all Newport? Friends? Know, they're all in Rhode Island.

We went to like elementary school together. It's very like towny Rhode Island, like we went to elementary school, high school, middle school, the whole bit. We know each other's histories. Like it's just that level. This kind of stuff happens in Rhode Island around a dramatic place. Like. There should be some more reality TV in the state. I know. I always said, yeah, my friends should have a reality TV show because it really is crazy. Um. But yeah,

I grew up in rdaland Boring raised. Yeah I didn't know that. I just I thought that you were East Coast and then you just moved to Newport for some reason. But it makes more sense. Yeah. Nice. Well what's your current While we're on the topic of sucking at dating, because obviously that's all we talked about your what's your current relationship status? Um? So I am dating and there might be a specific person that I am dating, Um, but I just don't think I'm ready to unleashed him

to the world yet. You know, I've done some soft launches here and there, But I don't know, it's just this weird thing where you feel like, well, we have to Instagram official involved, but you know, I just want to kind of keep it to myself for a little bit longer. You know. Yeah, there's been totally You're right to do that. Take as long as you need obviously. Um, I've got a question what what goes into the planning of a soft launch? Because do you do you do

you guys discuss it together? Do you say, hey, I'm going to take a picture, but just about holding hands? What is like the what is the you know, the process there. I feel like the soft launches for me are just like candidates that either you know, a blurry face or not showing a face at all, just that kind of thing just to be like, oh, hey, like this is I don't mean, it's honestly, it's become so part of our culture now it's kind of stupid that I subscribe to this, but I just I mean, it's fun.

It's just something you're like, oh, I have this person, but like I'm just not quite ready. But I just want you guys to know, because I do like sharing my life with people. But it's just different now, especially now that I have like a following. It's not a big following, guys, but like I got a little following, and I, you know, like, I do want to share those parts of my life. It's exciting, but y'all look

crazy at the same job. Y'all crazy, and I don't trust you, you know, um, so yeah, and I just want to keep it to myself. And because so much of my love life has been all on TV and in like People magazine, and like, I just don't want that right now. And then something humble and sweet and

just kind of to myself, you know. Yeah. And the appeal of a soft launch to me would be like there's less pressure because the second you are launch, then you get tied to this person for however long, And especially in the early stages of a relationship, when you're still feeling it out, it's like you don't really want that pressure, you know, Oh exactly, yeah, you don't want

that pressure. And also it's the moment that I love I share that I'm allowing people to comment on it, and I'm allowing people to have an opinion, and I just don't feel like I'm at the point where I want people to have an opinion on my relationship, you know, yeah for sure. How can I just ask some very basic questions? How long have you guys been dating for? Um? Not that long? Um? I think a little over a month. Okay, so very new, very new, very new, very new. And

how did you guys meet? Um? This is a great story. Did you guys meet you? Um? No, But it's so funny. My mom actually set us up. Oh nice, that's got to be a winner, slammed don home run. I know. And it's so weird because I'm like, Mom, what the

hell like just giving my number? She's being so weird about it, and and so then she set up this like family dinner where I was going to be invited to like one of his family dinners, and I just had to show up and meet this guy, and I'm like, what the hell you should just given him my number. I was literally about to walk into a family dinner with this man and then he canceled, thank god. And then I just stand on Instagram and I'm like, I'm just gonna bypass this whole mom thing because I just

don't think it's going to be the right environment. I love your mom, but yeah, so that's how it happened. Yeah, my mom set it up. Okay, another follow up question. It's been I'm just gonna say six months since Paradise has been filmed, um a Garrotteke. Who knows actually what how long it's been. What is it about this lucky gentleman that makes him so special that you see a

relationship with them? Yeah, I honestly think that. Oh so after Jacob I was like, really, you know, all out of sorts, um, I think that this person just fits into my life, like perfectly, honestly every box that I've had, you know when they talked about boxes checking boxes. But we have the same values, we want the same things out of life, we want to live in the same place, we want you know, all of those things just kind of align. Morals, values, um, a sense of humor, all

of that. I think it's definitely the future piece that really is like, okay, like this is someone I can invest my time into and feel good about investing my time into. There's no kind of like what ifs. It's just making the commitment and exploring each other further. It's not like, oh, well, you know, I don't know if our futures are going to align because what we want aligns. Yeah, that's I think the most important thing to me right now.

That's great, and you want to know it's so funny. Um, just in the same vein is when Caitlin and I started dating, I was like, wow, we're so opposite. This is never gonna work. And then it worked out. So I think that I could go either way. You could you could be like, yep, our futures are going to be on a similar path. Or in cal and Ice case, it's like complete opposite. She wanted marriage and kids and I didn't want any of those things, and yet here

we are figuring it out as we go. Um, but I think I do think it's important early on to have like a clear set state of like what you want your future to encompass, and if you don't agree on it, then it just creates a few more obstacles for you to figure out and overcome later on. But if you don't have to overcome those obstacles and all the all the better, you know, right exactly, And it's like could That's another thing with Jacob is like okay, well Jacob's like from the West Coast, Like do I

want to drag. Is he going to be willing to have a goat farm in New England? Like, let's be real here, like does he want to have a coastal goat farm with me? Probably not? You know, so just those kind of like big dreams that I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice, you know. Yeah, happened with this new relationship. Do you have when or you aspire to have one? Oh? No, I aspire to have one. I'm going to have a goat farm. Yes, for very nice. Everybody needs to do farm.

I gotta say. Oh, I was just gonna say too, I really like your birth of Venus painting in the background. Thank you? Yeah much? Yeah, good old chili Love bought of chili. It took in our history class in college, so I know all about it, you know, I feel so right now. I know on cultured swine, damn, look at you guys. Uh, we do have a hot topic I want to get to. Before that, I did have something to say about what Jacob jill. Oh you were talking about your location. Because he's on the West coast,

you're in the East coast. That is something that's so overplayed and yet so true. Because Ashley is going through right now. She's really struggling in Rhode Island and um, trying to navigate that. It's just tough because you know Dawson.

We we have help now, which is fantastic, but um, you know, she's just she works a lot, but she works from home and she takes care of Dawson at home, and she doesn't have too many friends over here, and she misses her family down in Virginia and she misses the lifestyle of l A. So it's been a little bit of a struggle here. Yeah, the past few months, especially as you know, Jill, this is the most depressing time to be in New England. January for every March.

There's just it's cold, it gets dark so early. Um, nobody's outside. So it's it's a little bit of struggle. But I feel confident once April and May get here, we'll be all right. Just grind through. Yeah, we'll get Yes, you guys, have a girl's night. You should text and have just like girls and I'll watch Dawson. I'll chill out. You guys, go like have dinner Newports. You would love that. Go get like nails done or something. I don't know. Oh my god. Yeah, um, we do have a hot

topic that I do want to get to. There's one on here that I find pretty interesting because you guys know the new Miley Cyrus song Flowers. Have you heard about this? I have, Okay, of course, Jill has so, Dean, because I've heard about this as well. Have you seen the music video to Miley So Mile sizes come out this new song called Flowers and there's a music video. Do you know anything about Miley Cyrus's dating history, Dean,

I mean just the main headlines. I think, well, she so she was married to Liam Hemsworth, you know, all right, So that's Chris Hemsworth brother. And then there's like allegations they broke up a while ago, and then there was like allegations that maybe he cheated on her or I don't really know the whole story, but I know that it's like it seemed like he might have been a dick in the relationship. I don't know if it's true or not. But what I will say is that our

very own Brandy Cyrus. I say that because obviously she's friends with all of us here, and she's a wonderful human being. She does the podcast with Wells Adams Um your favorite thing. That's the name of the podcast. So Brandy talked about this whole Flowers fan theories, about my about Miley's new music video Flowers that has to do with Liam Hemsworth, so everybody's looking for the new Easter eggs.

And Brandy Cyrus talked about Miley's new songs and all the tea and everything that's going on on TikTok now the song So Brandy, apparently this song Flowers came out on Liam Hemsworth's birthday, and Brandy goes, the song did come out on his birthday? Was that on purpose? I don't know. Can't say genius though. First of all, if Brandy is saying this, then it's true. Obviously Brandy and Miley talk. They're sisters, They're going to talk about these things.

So even Brandy just bringing it up, come on, now you know that it's true. So it's definitely it feels like Miley released this song on Leon's birthday on purpose. And then she goes on in quote it says, it makes Miley seem like an absolute genius. It's just so good. Every day I wake up to a new theory. The first one was something about this Bruno Mars song, like there Liam played the Bruno Mars song at their wedding, and this is a response to the Bruno Mars song.

So the song Flowers that Miley wrote has very similar lyrics to the song when I Was When I Was Your Man, which is by Bruno Mars. Like some of the lyrics that are similar are I should have bought you flowers and held your hand, should have gave you all my hours, bought bah blah, and a lot of these lyrics are very similar to the lyrics that Miley

sings in her song Flowers. Brandy goes on to say, then there was the suit that she's wearing, which is the exact same suit that Lee him war to the Avenger's premiere where he told Miley that she needed to behave for once, and so this is a f you because she's in a suit. Brandy is saying these things. She goes on says, then the other one was the house where the music video is filmed Miles, iiris Flowers. That house is the house where Liam used to take

people to cheat on Miley with. Uh. So, I don't know. I feel like the fact that Brandy is playing into this and talking about all these theories, and then she goes on to say only Miley knows the truth, that she doesn't know if the theories are true or not, which I called b s obviously, So my point being, I think, in my humble opinion, the fact that Brandy is going on to talk about these theories and giving them the light of day makes me truly believe that,

of course all these theories are true. That Miley wanted to stick a middle finger to Leam Hensworth that she actually wore the suit that Liam wore at the Avenger's premiere, which everybody saw on camera. So Dean's just so you know, when they were married, Liam and Miley went to the Avengers premiere and then she did this thing where she made it look like she like licked Liam on the side, because like you know, she's a rock and roller, so

that's what she did. And then he mouthed, and obviously lip readers went in on this and said can you behave for once? And so he wore like this navy blue suit, and in this new music video for Flowers, she is wearing a navy blue suit at a house that apparently is rumored to be a house that Liam Hemsworth would bring people back to and sheet on Miley cyrus with while singing lyrics very similar to their wedding

song The Bruno Mars when I Was Your Man. So obviously people are putting this together and saying all the rumors are true. Liam's a dick. Miley is awesome. Do you guys have any thoughts? I want to know Joe's thoughts. I mean, I don't think anything is the coincidence, you know, especially like on his birthday and all of that. And there's obviously going to be symbolism and all of that. And I think that the huge part of this song and this like music video was to get people talking

like this because I think it. I mean, it's like super hyphen with charts, and I think just having the buzz surrounding this song have b theories, I think that's like fun. And also if some guy did you dirty? When did you want people to know? Like when don't you want people to talk about it? I feel like this is just like a nice easy way to be like, Okay, well just run with it, and who cares because they're just rumors at this point. Yeah, I as I it's hard for me to follow along like audiole when I

hear these types of stories. But now that I'm like kind of skipping through the article, I agree with both you guys that there is no coincidence here and it definitely is intentional shade being through back at Liam Hemsworth and I. You know what, I I give Miley credit.

It seems like some next level type of shade. And I think every scorned X wishes they could do something like this, Like this is, you know, to the nth power most like outrageous way to do it, but in the best way possible, but like it's what we all wish we could do as regular people. UM so credits

a Miley. She's crushing it. It's crazy that they dated on and off for like almost ten years and then they got a long time Yeah, but then they got married in two thousand eighteen, but then announced their separation in August. So you're telling me they dated for on and off for almost ten years, got married, and then

nine months later decided to give it a divorce. I'm so curious in relationships like that, what gives you the confidence after you're on and off for so long that you're like, Okay, let's get married because you had to have such confidence that you guys were going to be together for a very long time. But then literally eight more slater, You're like, never mind, this was a terrible idea. So I always like, what did you like? What gave you the confidence? I'm not saying it couldn't have worked out,

but obviously it just wasn't there. I think it was also a really like small ceremony, like in her house. Like I don't think it was like okay, well we're wedding planning for X amount of months and you know, I think it made it might have just been like something like super quick, like all right, let's do this. Um. But yeah, I mean when something like that happened so quickly, it honestly makes me think like, okay, something happened. Like

it wasn't just reconcilable differences. It was like you did something, he did something, and so now I feel like we're now we're seeing like okay, like maybe this is a story behind what he did. It's interesting to know if

it's true or not. So because I remember when the music video came out and then honestly, I didn't know about any of this until I started reading the rumors about the music video, which was obviously formulated on TikTok, and then they had all the videos of Chris Hen's worth from the Avengers premier is saying he definitely said can you behave for once? Like I'm not even a lip reader and I could have seen that as clear

as day. And then they did another interview that they flashed to where like the reporter was doing the reporter thing where of course, you know, and this happens to me and Ashley all the time, which I could care less, but they would be you know, they were like Miley is amazing, She's she's the great, Like what did you do Liam to like deserve this, like trying, you know, really building her up? And you could tell he was just like a screw this, this isn't this isn't my thing.

So there was definitely some tension involved. Isn't it Liam's brother that's the one that's an Avengers and Chris Yeah, yeah, so Chris is an Avengers and then Liam was what just a guest I guess at the premier. Yeah, he probably just went to support his brother. Chris is like, I mean, he's obviously got a huge acting career, I think he was in Uh, I don't know what he was in. He's been in a bunch of stuff. He was in the second Independence Date, but no one talks

about that, I guess. I mean I could see. I could see where Liam's coming from, you know, like he's at his brother there's movie premiere and wants to make a good impression and Miley just being Miley. But like you said, it's like you dated on and off for ten years, you know what you're getting yourself into. Like if you didn't, if you weren't okay with that type

of behavior, then you shouldn't have married this person. Yeah, I feel like there's no nothing worse than a partner like stealing your sparkle, Like, there's nothing worse than trying to have to conform to be what somebody wants. And I feel like he wanted her to conform to the person that he had idealized in his mind, but that just wasn't her. And now I think after we're seeing like the renaissance of Miley and how she's like fully commended Rochelle and she's just not afraid to be yourself.

But I feel like when she was with Liam, it was very like, Okay, we'll have to be who he wants me to be, and that really pisces me off. Like watching that, you can see like how like dejected she was after that. It's just heartbreaking. It's interesting too, because we talk about social pressures for us and people like this have so much more, like an unimaginable amount of social pressure. Um. But they also have a lot more money, so you know, it really evens out. It's true,

that's true. Money it does. It doesn't equal, but you know how there's two lines in equal like it definitely gives you one line, you know, and then the other line is like you know, within your own spirit and all that crap. Um, yeah, just kidding. Well, Jill, thank you so much for joining us. You are the best. We love you so much. Um, everybody go follow Jill. What is your Instagram handle? Is it just ad Gilchin and it's Jilchren Underscore Children Underscore? Was there another? I

think there's there's probably like ten thousand children? Is like, you know, that's well, it's bullsh you are the Gilchin, you know what I mean? So like, get rid of that. I've got I've got a funny thing about that. So Kaylin and I are both changing her last names obviously to Bell and Kaylin for whatever reason. Well, actually what we did was we hired this company too, because like, one of the reasons I haven't changed my last name yet is because of all of the paperwork involved with it,

and it's just like so overwhelming. I don't even know where to start. There's this company. They send you a pamphlet, you fill out the information, and then you send it back to them, and then they go through all the legal processes to change your last name. So that's what

we're doing. We're very it's so great, it's so so nice, and it's like forty bucks I think it could be on that but um, but the Klin went on Instagram yesterday and she was looking at like she's gonna she's Kaylin Miller Keys on Instagram and she wants to change it to Kaylin Miller Bell or Kylen Marie Bell or

whatever it's gonna be. And every every um, every like iteration of her last name is taken by someone, like someone specific, not like just like a person with that name, like someone made an account with all of the names that she might want to have to like maybe ask her to buy it from them going on or something. And what I think it is is, I remember back in the days, Chad Johnson bought a lot of like you r l s and stuff of people of contestants names,

and my money's on it being Chad do it. There's no way. So you're telling me that you think that Chad Johnson saw into the future and said at the time that he was buying all these domains. Oh, I like, I think this girl Kalin's gonna end up with Dean Dean and they're gonna both change their last name to Bell or do you think this is recent? It literally could have been any time before yesterday, you know, like it could have been a week ago, or a month ago or six months ago. Uh. And I'm not saying

it's Chad. I'm just saying it's a funny conspiracy theory because he has shown himself to do that in the past. But I do I do think someone did it to like take the names and search for some sort of financial recompence from I mean, well, it has to be a listener of this podcast us. How else would they know. Yeah, I mean maybe it's a listen to the podcast. Maybe they follow Kalin on tick. I mean, I don't know who the hell knows. Maybe it's just like crazy coot.

Maybe there's a crazy question, no e, just the one one. Yeah, there is a Calin Miller Bell with no followers, no post, and no falling. Dude, someone definitely bought that. Someone definitely has that for you to buy it, that exact same thing. Zero followers, zero post, zero following. That was East and I bet uh for every iteration at Klin Bell, Kylin Miller, Keys Bell, Caitlin Underscore, Bell, like all of those are taken. So it's just funny. Anyways, that was That was my

little anecdote about the gil Chin underscore. Ye Gilchin underscore. Yeah, you might have to resort to underscores or whatever, but from this, this is what it is. It's crazy. There is multiple inneration, holy crap, and they're all zero followers. Yeah, conspiracy what about you did made by you? Yeah? She did say that there's a but a person actually named Dean Bell. But I'm not changing from Danny Babies. Danny Babies is here to stay. So Bill, did you ever

think see you before? So Caitlin's going to change it, but not you. Well, I don't have my full name in it. She's got her full name as her Instagram handle.

If I was Dean Angler, my brother changed his last name and his whole life he's been Balling Bu Ball and Brad Angler and then he changed his last name to Bell and for the past two years since he's changed it, I'm like, you have to change your Instagram handle from ball and Bu to ball and b B. He's like, well, no, everyone knows me as Balling Bu. There's no way I can change it. It's like, just

just change it. Man, sounds good, but you does sound good? Um, Jill, did you ever think of doing like, uh, like, what would be a funny Instagram handle for Jill Chin? There's got to be something well I had. I was for

a long time. All my social media before I went on the show, I was Kiuei, which Kinoe is like my dad's nickname from which is bad girl in Chinese, and so I was always Kinoee and I was like, people aren't going to be able to pronounce this or like find me whatever, So Kinee's going and then Jill Underscore had to be it. I think like my my Twitter is like Underscore chill chain or something like that. So I just had to make it easy to make anything. I think that's cool. I love yeah, but it's just

for just the peeps that know me. Now. I remember when I came off The Bachelor at the first time, they were like pressuring me so so hard to change my Instagram handle. They're like, you should make it, make it Dan underscore hungler or make it something like more simple, and like people can find you easier, easier, And I was like, no, I am keeping Danny Baby. I wonder if they wanted to do that to make if, in

case you were the bachelor. Oh yeah, to make it easier for people to find you, right if they can't have a Dannie Babies bachelor Dude, they definitely thought like they definitely were considering you to be bachelor obviously. I mean I signed then I signed the contract, so they definitely they knew what they were getting into and it wasn't. Here's the question for you, sorry, before we wrat what would have happened if you changed your Instagram handle? What if?

Because that would have shown them then okay, maybe he'll play a ball and you know, work with us a little bit. And I wonder, like, what if they made you the Bachelor after that, because who was the Bachelor instead of you? Oh my dude. I mean, I love Ari so much. He's really good bad, but that's because I was thinking. I was like, I think it was supposed to be Peter Krauss And then, dude, oh my god, your life could have been so different if you change

your Instagram handle for the worst. Obviously, no, no, no, no. That when we started, when they asked me to be the Bachelor, which they do to multiple people every year, When they asked me to be the Bachelor, it was after I had we had already filmed Paradise, and I knew that I was going to be caught with my foot in my mouth. And the only reason I said yes to being the Bacheldor was because I thought in my head it would give me a more favorable edit

for the season that hadn't yet aired. And they said that too. They were like, yeah, you know, if you agree to this will make you look like better on Paradise, and I was like, yeah, sign me up. I know I made a bunch of mistakes and I suffer the consequences of those um. But then I think it started airing and they're like, yeah, this is this is not this, this guy's a mass But it could have been the Instagram handle. Maybe that was the star that broke the

camel's back. So who knows? Too funny. All right, well, thank you so much for everybody who listened to this podcast. I really appreciate Jill once again, You're amazing. Please come back soon and obviously I will see you soon. Um, and thank you for everybody listening. Please email us all your thoughts about the podcast, follow us on help I Suck at Dating on Instagram. Um, we're not doing phone calls, I think anymore for the time being, so don't worry

about doing that. But please, if you want to email us you're dating stories, we'd love to steal. Catch up with you guys, talk to you, give some advice or lack thereof, which is our specialty. Email us at I Suck a Dating at I heeart media dot com, and do us a favor too. I was on Spotify looking at our podcast the other day. We just don't have enough reviews, so let's just all do a blitz of giving reviews on Spotify. If that's what you're listening on,

they could be five stars. That's preferred, but any amount of stars, I just want to I just want to up the number of reviews that we have, whether there're one, two, three, four or five stars. So if you're listening and you've got a couple of extra seconds in your day, jump on Spotify and just give it a review, because we don't have that many reviews and it hurts my heart just a little bit, and people like Jill deserve these reviews,

you know. Thank you. Maybe I'll leave your review, yeah, start do it for Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It was a great pleasure meeting you and getting to talk to you. Um, hopefully you're on this podcast too, and I know you guys are Rhode Island buddies, so I guess you'll see each other before um any of that happens, but who knows, But thank you so much again. Follow Jill on Instagram Jill Chin Underscore. Follow her on Twitter Underscore Jill Chin. Follow her on

TikTok Jill Underscore Chin. Um any any type of underscores and jails and chains where that's where you can find her. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. Be sure to tune in next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow hell by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast