Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds.
With Dean Aungler, Haylen Miller Keys, and Jared Haven, an iHeartRadio podcast. Hello everyone, Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? I am joined by Dean Bell and Jared Haven.
Is that legal? Is that legal now? Dean Bell?
No, Kalen Bell No.
Once we figure out this house situation, then we'll change our names. And then we have to make sure that we're not traveling for a bit because we have to change our passports and all that. So trebling.
That's why I haven't changed my address on all my billing for credit cards or banking information. It's still my parents' house because if I change it, I have so much direct the positive that comes out of there, for between Audrey's and my business personal business. It's like I'm not going to go through each and everything and then have to change all of my billing address. So just you know, I still get mail at my parents' house.
That seems like the most five years old. But what are you going to do when you moved to Virginia?
Who the hell knows? They'll probably still get mail. Then my dad will mail it to me like a third party.
I always wonder how much mail I'm still getting at like my old house, like from that I lived in like ten years ago.
You know, do you ever have anxiety that you're getting mail about how if you don't respond it's the irs that you're gonna get arrested?
You know? I do?
Sometimes there's probably a Warren out for your arrest right now.
I do sometimes get anxiety for that. But I'm like, if it's really that important, they wouldn't be sending me mail.
Mail the place.
So if there's a worn out for your arrest, they don't notify you, right like it's just a known thing amongst cops because you had a Warren out once and you didn't know.
I think I did know. Oh, I think I did know, But I don't. I think I had a feeling. It's not like I knew. It's not like I was informed. Hey, you have a Warren towse.
You should be notified, right Yeah, unless that's like a flight risk thing.
Yeah that's good. That's a good point.
But no, I don't, Jared, to answer your question, I don't really get anxiety about that. I maybe to have before, and it's actually kind of funny because the girl that lives in the first house I lived in LA was I think a guest on this podcast at one point because she went on a reality show and she was getting some big mail for me and she thought it was like an IRS thing, and I was like, no, this is this is pointless. Mail is so stupid. Mail
has no purpose mail. The only thing mail is good for is wait, I'm sorry, there's nothing that mail is good for. The only thing that mail is good for I just got a new credit card and that came in the mail yesterday. That's the only thing I could think of that mail has served a purpose for. Like everything, everything should be electronic, everything should be on email.
How do you get paid for this podcast? Bro?
Mail could be direct deposit.
It should be direct deposit. We're living in the past.
It's so it's and I'll go take this to the grave because, like you said, Jared, if something incredibly important is being sent to my house that I lived in ten years ago, I would never know. And there were times in my life where I was like, I wonder if this is gonna sound so stupid. I wonder if this envelope has like a transmitter and if I if I open this letter, then this organization will know that I open the letter, and then I'm more liable to
follow through the orders on it. Because there were times where I was like, oh, like you know, whether it's like a court order or whatever it is.
That would be like the nineteen eighties version of having read on your text messages.
Yeah, exactly, Like, well I wonder I always wonder what they would be. But no, I don't have stress about that anymore. Because that's my argument. If I go to court and they're like, we've been trying to reach you for three years, four years, what's up, bro, I'd be like, Yeah, you've been trying to reach me via mail. What do you expect me to do? Get my mail and open it? No, thank you.
It's so funny when you and Jerry go on these tangents. You sound like grumpy old men.
Sometimes are either children or grumpy old men. I don't really tell a.
Difference how the grumpy old man complain about mail. If anything, I'd be complaining about email. True, do you want me to click on something?
Why don't you just mail it.
Over?
Fact?
You know what it's going to turn into email? Because as the older generation dies off. It's not used to email and used to mail. Now we're getting older, we're used to email, and it's going to be something else. It's going to be like dms on Instagram, just DMB.
I think we were very hard on gen Zers for the longest time. I think gen Zers are going to change the world.
Is that the one below us? Yeah.
I just think they're so aware of the world and they want change to happen, and they're so I don't know. I think everyone was so hard on them. They're like these stupid kids. They grew up with iPads. But I think they're going to be the ones that change the world.
Yeah. How much screen time do you give Dawson? Uh, you know, there's a few.
We try to limit it, but he definitely watches like a couple Powers of TV.
Yeah in there, Miss Rachel.
I mean, what are we going to do. There's nothing we can do. Yeah, it's just there. We grew up on TV. He's gonna have TV a part of his life. He's gonna have phones a part of his life. We try to reduce it. We try to interact while watching. I mean there's things that we supplement, but it's like it's simple, what are we.
Supposed to do?
Here's the difference, and that it doesn't exist. The biggest difference, and it probably isn't even that big of a difference. But when we were kids, we would have to like once a week at seven pm, we would have to sit in front of the TV at six fifty seven, and you get excited for your TV show to come on. But now kids can just go on their iPad and be like, I want this episode on right now, Boom it's on.
And you know, I wonder what that's going to.
Do to them, not having to wait for their show. Yeah, it's gonna having to sit through the commercials because if you if you leave during the commercial you might come back.
You're gonna give them so much entitlement because they're gonna be like everything that I want, I get right then.
Yeah, but too much.
What I'm saying is people are so critical of gen z ors for that reason, and I think they're not as bad as people think they're going to be.
I was looking up dating for gen Zers because jen Alf is too young as of right now, and I was trying to see if there's any gen z like, if there's anything in the dating world of gen Z that is repetitive or we can kind of talk about. But the problem is the biggest thing. It's said that
gen Z is getting rid of dating apps. They're not going on dating apps as much anymore, and they're trying to They said that they'd rather There is a poll that said they'd rather clean a toilet than go back on a dating app because it's.
Too much work.
It's like a hard time job.
I know, so dramatic, but my point being is that it's hard to take anything from that because gen Z is still so young. What is gen Z like in the late twenties at best? Of course, you don't have to be on a dating app because it's not like you're thirty five and being like, Okay, I really want to meet someone. So's I'm on the.
Twenty eight so I think.
They are eleven, so they'd be twenty six. It's the oldest. The oldest gen Z is twenty six.
Yeah. But also they're like they're so cool. I don't want to put that in quotations, because they actually are cool. They're very cool, and they just don't care about anything and anything that is was like cool for us. They are anti so if we love dating apps, they're gonna hate them. They're like the antithesis of us.
Well, it's like you ever see the movie twenty one Jump Street Yeah, with uh Channing Yeah and Jonah Hill hilarious movie, And then did you ever see twenty two Jump Street, Yeah, which is even Wait no, I think twenty one Jump Street is the movie where they go back to school, right, and then it's flip.
Flops, like two is de Franco, right, yeah?
Right, so twenty two right, they go back and then it flip flops like Jonah is the cool kid because he exactly exactly establishment.
Right, right, So that's no, he's not anti establishment, he's not cool, which makes him cool.
Well yeah, but exactly. But then he like rents in the track me and they're like, oh, I love how you messed up that track me.
You know, I don't remember that.
Like they made a point.
It's really good that in the nineties when they were growing up, it was the high school jo was the cool kid.
Right.
There's even a scene in that movie that I remember when they first go back to school. Channing Tatum has his backpack on, he has one strap on his shoulder, and Jonah has both strap over his shoulders, and Channing's like, bro get rid of the one strap.
No, no, no, no, it's not cool.
You can't do that anymore. And he's like, but everybody else has two straps.
It doesn't matter. No, no, it's not cool. It's not cool.
And then the coolest kid played by Dave Franco comes up to Jonah and he's also wearing the two straps because they so that in the nineties the cool kids wore one strap, but now the cool kids are the smartpet ones who wear both straps. They just are also drug dealers in that movie, right.
It's a dream boat.
And then he pulls up in his muscle car and he's like, how many miles pre on you getting that thing?
Like five? And he's like, try four. What about you?
He goes, oh, this runs off of the recycled grease from the Chinese restaurant down the street. It's like, okay, a man, all right, let's talk about Bachelor.
Great movie, let's talk about Bachelor. We are all Jared, are you flying out today or tomorrow?
Flying out tonight?
No? Well it's not right eye because seven thirty LA is three hours for yer.
So we land at eleven.
That's great.
We did that because we're hoping Dawson sleeps.
On the flight.
You're bringing Dawson hours.
Oh yeah, we're bringing Dawson.
Oh great, and he's coming to the mansion.
The mansion, I believe.
So, so you guys are going to meet Dawson.
Well, I've met him at iHeart Studios. Remember we were recording the podcast and actually brought him up. Yeah, we both, we all were there. The relaunch of the podcast.
Was that like a year and a half ago.
February I joined, so almost a year.
I'm excited for him to call me Unky.
I can't wait to see him.
He's gonna look at me and he goes, go uncle Deany, Uncle Dean. Well we'll practice on the plane.
Yeah.
I mean he's he's awesome right now. Yeah, he's in.
He's just the best.
He's he's prime Dawson.
And you've flown with him quite a bit to Virginia. Yeah.
We usually do like hour flights. It's the cross country ones that just suck because an hour you can get through because even if it's bad, it's only bad for like twenty minutes. So you just got to like figure it out. Six hours that's why we went late, because
it's like, please sleep, because he just gets restless. It's like moving left and right and he's kicking the seat and he just wants to get up and he's like flaring his body and then he gets tired of the phone because he just wants he wants to run around.
I have a question for you. Have you seen those tiktoks where like a girl or a guy someone a baby's crying and someone will pick up the baby next to them on the plane and like walk them around. What if a stranger took Dawson? How would you feel?
No, strangers aren't picking up children and walking them around the airplane.
Yeah, I've seen this happen all over TikTok.
I would be so mad.
Well, if the baby's screaming, the mom is stressed, is stressed.
I would like if I was on an airplane.
And you looked over at me and you're like, can I help you?
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, if they asked, of.
Course, they're not just gonna snatch the baby.
Well you didn't. You didn't clarify.
I thought that was implied because I would do that.
I would walk a baby around on an airplane if the mother snatching the baby.
No, no, no, just being like, hey, can I help you out, and like walking the baby up and down the aisles. Would you be cool with that?
Yeah, I mean they're not going I would be staring at them, but also at the same time, I'd be able to sit down and breathe for a second, So that's really nice.
I don't think I wouldn't even if I was a parent. I don't think I would because baby his head off, because it's kind of my job to make the baby stop screaming. That's some random stranger.
Stranger picks up Hunter and he's like new face, and then he's intrigued and stops crying for a second.
Bro, wait till Hunter is alive, screaming hours on end, and you're just like, I love you so much. Please someone take him away from me. Someone take him away from me, because it's just natural. Bro, Like, I mean, as much as you're gonna love your kid, they're tough, they're going they don't like they're they torture your life, not intentionally, but because they're a baby, they don't know what the hell's going on.
They're gonna scream or they're gonna hit you.
Or they're gonna bite you and they're gonna laugh, and then they're gonna ooop in your hand and you're just gonna be like I need like I just need a minute, guys, I need a minute. You know, it's just natural alse you're going to lose your goddamn mind.
When does the crying and screaming phase pass? Is that four?
I mean he's I don't know, I mean he's he throws tantrums now sometimes really depends, like he'll throw himself on the floor now and just scream and you're like oh, and then of course he hits his head on the floor like he'll he'll not hard, but like when he goes, he'll like knock his head and then he'll scream more and it's like, broh, just relax. I don't know when
the screen face stops. But you know what my pet peeve is and we talked about on the podcast before, especially on plane traveling with the kid, it's the people that get pissed off when Dawson's crying and they, like you can tell they keep like looking back and like roll their eyes or like I remember one time we had Dawson and he was like flaring his body a
little bit because he wanted to get up. And this was like forty five minutes into the flight, and he kept kicking the chair in front of us, and we were trying to stop him, but he's like wrestling out of our arms. And it happened like three or four times, and the person in front of us is like whipped his head back and just kind of looked at us, and it's like, bro, turn your head around. Don't look at me. Like it's so annoyance because you, oh, sometimes I look around.
That's you.
I would never like you're like.
That child is being so loud on the airplane.
Five year old kicking my chair. Yeah, I'm going to be pissed.
That's different when we have a baby in our lap who's very clearly uncomfortable, trying to get out of our arms.
We're just trying to relax him. Are they so?
Like? I remember people talking about how like, oh, we should be we should be aware if we're sitting next to a baby on the flight, and it's like, everyone chill out. This is why if you don't bring headphones on the plane, it's nobody's fault but your own. If you're listening to my crying kid get headphones. Like, guess what you get to do when you leave the plane. Guess what you get to do. You get to walk off and you get to go to the bathroom. You don't
have to worry about anything. You go find your car, You get to breathe, you get to you could stop and you could look at magazines for a minute if you want to your stand.
Stand up in the plane and be like, I don't want him to be trying. You think I want this, which reminds me of I know we were on a trip.
It goes to my head.
Semi recently with a friend and someone asked for a photo and this friend he kept getting bombarded with photos and he's like blocking the view of the show we were watching. It was so funny. And this woman was like again, like the fifth person came up to ask for a photo, get out of my way, please, She's like, are you serious? And he was so sassy. He was like, you think I want this?
You think I want to be here taking these pictures with these people, And like He's.
Like in the nicest way, in the nicest to which I could see you just standing up there and being like you think you want this. Do you think I want this?
Yeah?
Yeah, it's you know what it is.
It's just people.
And oh he's talked.
About it on the podcast.
I will keep okay, okay, okay, and let the mysterious the mystery live on. I it's annoying because people. What I find is that people just are human beings and they're looking for things to complain about. I don't know, I just from working in hospitality where I've worked with many people, I've waited on many people, and being a part of the Bachelor and being able to talk to
many people. Just people say things, and people do things that they don't even necessarily believe, but they just say and do them because for some reason, like in their reaction, they just they say things and there's no rhyme or reason.
Yeah, but you're just negative.
But also like it's just like it's it's amazing how people just say things. I know that sounds so vague, but I wish I could explain it better, But they just do and say things that they don't even like necessarily mean. But still it's just like I don't get it.
But I guess being a human.
It's like the equivalent to being a child that's screaming. Loud humans as adults just blurt out the first thing that they think. I guess, or they just serve so reactionary. But I was going to say too about back to
the plane, thing about the loud children. What really makes me angry in those situations is when the parent is not doing anything to help ease the situation for the child, Like if they like if if Dawson's kicking in the back of the seat in front of him, and I look back and the parents are just like sitting there, zoning off into their own world. I'm like, hey, parent, this is your job to like mend at the situation with your child, like calm him.
Down, like she's like scrolling on their phone.
Here's something, because your child is making everyone else's your experience here worse. And if I look back at you and you're not trying to fix the situation, I'm going to be mad at the parent.
And if there's a parent like stressed and doing everything they can, like totally understand babies are uncontrollable. So that's right word. Uh So, yeah, I agree, I agree with that.
Yeah that's my that's my peeve with that.
But I was going to say, I'm really excited to see Dawson in The Bachelor. Yeah, in the Bachelor mansion where you guys didn't meet there, but it's the beginning of your love story in a direct.
Better bring a tuxedo for him to wear on the front steps of the mansion.
Hold a little rose. We've thought about this.
You've better, you better do it.
We'll just like we'll like pour water on the steps, so glistening night one.
Yeah, you should act as the producer, the behind the scene producer who's watering down the driveway and then you're like, he's pulling up, he's pulling up. You could do a whole skit about it.
There's somebody else coming. Maybe I forget who it is, but I think that has a girl in the franchise, like a child, because we were joking about how we need to film like them in front of the mansion together as if like baby Bachelor. Yeah, the baby Bachelor. So I don't know who could be coming with the girl, but we definitely thought about that. Oh yeah, we're gonna get so much content of Dawson in the mansion. But the thing is the mansion is definitely not as so
much content. It could be great. The mansion is not as personal to us as Paradise is. Like I've been to the mansion since night one, and it's cool being back there, but I don't feel as nostalgic towards it as when we go to Paradise and I'm like, holy sh like this is bringing.
The mansion also looks different, right because the decoration team, what do they called the that team comes and like makes it completely different.
The art department, art department. Yeah, yeah, I mean right, it's still like it does look different, I mean from when we were there.
I don't know what's gonna look like tomorrow night.
I mean this was years ago when we were there,
probably like three years ago, I guess now. But there's like in the Rose ceremony room, you know, it's pool tables and tons of tables and chairs, so it doesn't look the same, but it's still cool, like because the structure of the house is the exact same, you know, everything, So it's still cool being back there, Like oh, this is like this is the room we slept in, Like my bunk bed was over there, and and then this is the pool in the hot tub, and you know
we used to hang out over here, and it's it's definitely, it's really cool.
Kaitlin's excited.
I am excited. I haven't been back since since we lived in the mansion.
That's crazy.
Have you been back?
Of course not, I'm I'm not excited. I would rather not go if I didn't have to.
But why are you so negative?
I just I don't. I don't care about it.
Oh, I think it'll be cool with all our friends there.
It'll be fun to see our friends. But like we could just go out to a restaurant or a bar or something. I don't know.
I just think it's such a guy thing, to be honest, I think it's such a guy thing because I'm in the exact same boat. Like I'm excited to go back, Like it's cool being at the mansion, but if given the choice, I'm staying home. Like I love you guys all. It's just like that's so I don't feel like I'm at too. I don't want to, But the same time, I don't want to. I don't want to rain on the parade of everyone's excitement, you know. But I think it'll be fine, and once we're there, Once we're there,
I think we'll have a lot of fun. It's like getting me there and then like, oh, okay, this is actually fun. Yeah, but the thought of going, I'm like, can I just I just.
I just want to chill. I don't want to go. Yeah.
And for the listeners who aren't aware, we are all flying to La tomorrow, heading to the Bachelor mansion having dinner there. I think that's our only plan, right, just have dinner.
We're having dinner at the mansion.
I have no idea.
I don't think anyone knows what we're doing. I heard dinner, and that's all that I know.
I know Ashley's recording the podcast.
There, Okay, I figured there would be some podcasts recording.
I want Kayla and I to pull up to the bachi. I want to Kayla and I to pull up to the front doors on the of the mansion with my motorcycle. But she said, I am you scared to ride in the back back?
Yeah?
Do you know how wy do those roads are getting up to Yeah, getting up to the mansion.
You could just you guys could no, no, no. What you do is you drive to the mansion and then you know how like there's the gate before.
You go I'll do that driveway for sure.
You just hop on the back of his bike and make it look like you're riding up.
Oh yeah.
Or you could just do a whole skit guys, Kaitlin, where you're the bachelorette and Dean's whole gimmick is that he pulls up in the motorcycle looking all cool and stuff, trying to win your heart, and then it.
Just whisks me away on his motorcycle.
Yeah, but you'd be too Scaredy you rode on the back of a motorcycle for ten hours when we did rode to Hannah.
Shall we recap why I don't get on motorcycles anymore.
We were in one accident and we both walked away unscathed. If anything, that is still some confidence, that is. And also that was because someone else was at fault and there aren't gonna be many cars driving up.
That can such a scary drive, even in a car.
Yeah, if you're driving, but not if I'm driving.
If anyone's driving, can get on my.
Freaking back and thank you can bring it two helmets, so you're gonna you're gonna wear it and you're gonna.
Get go from the gate. It's the long driveway.
You used to be so brave. What happens?
I got into a motorcycle accident.
It was one accident, and we both were fine.
And your handle up was crushed into your hand.
You're so dramatic. My hand was fine.
Thankfully, I had a what are those things at? Deep boy? Oh my gosh, helmet. No, when you get into bag, thank you in air bag. Thankfully, I had an airbag, which is your backag motorcycle.
My body observed the blow and she just fell into me and she was totally fine, and so was I.
But what happened.
I was a guy was turning left illegally through a double yellow and I was in the right lane and he or no, it was like so either like he was in my lane and doing an illegal you turn or turning left illegally either way illegal turn. Never saw me, never saw us on the motorcycle, I guess. And it
was a fifty year old motorcycle. Gosh, I love that motorcycle, and the brakes just had never been serviced and so the stopping power wasn't very good, and so he turned and I like, I for five seconds, I was like, oh, we're hitting him, We're hitting him. We're hitting him, and I'm just slaming the brakes the whole time. But the breaks were so bad. I was like, we're hitting him more, hitting him. I'm sy And so we were only going like fifteen or twenty five miles.
But it was in Brentwood and there's like those crazy curved roads in Brentwood, so we were coming around a big bend and we remember it's so crazy. Obviously you were in the front, so you remember it better than me, but we remember it so differently. I remember him pulling out in like I guess making a U turn of sorts, but like backing out of a driveway and like doing something crazy right by this turn, so like nobody could see him coming, and he was, you know, illegally blocking this drive.
Yeah, and it was just a fifty year old motorcycle with bad breaks. This is now a twenty twenty one with fancy new breaks. I even got a nice little seat on the back for you, a little backbar to lean back on.
Dane put in a seat for me one time. Was it this motorcycle And I am walking out through the neighborhood and I just see the seat bar lying in the road, I'm.
Like, oh, oh no, that was a I ordered a little suction cup seat before I saved the permanent seat, and then the suction cup just fell off.
I even took off the exhaust. You know how hard it is to take off an exhaust.
I took off the exhaust and added footpegs for you and a big sissy bar for you to just leak. You can literally sit on the bike and lean back like.
You can lean back like that. We can't hear you, I know, but that's just doing it to prove my point. And and I put footpegs on there for you and to see and a little lean back sessions.
I'll think about it. But honestly, that was traumatizing for me, and you need to recognize that that was traumatizing.
Okay, but if I'm the source of that trauma, like, let me fix it, and you're not letting me fix.
It, I don't think that's how it works.
Yes, stop being traumatic.
Just don't do it, Kal, I mean, this is how this works.
Don't do it. Don't do what.
Get on the motorcycle.
Go on the motorcycle. No, Jared, you're a swissy. On my side here, I have.
A photo of the two of you. You Jared on the back of his dirt bike going when we first started dating in Tahoe. Yeah, did you ride it or did you just take a photo?
I think it was just.
He definitely didn't ride it.
I don't remember.
I don't remember riding a dirt bike.
It was like it was also an older dirtbike, and it was at elevation, so it was having a hard.
Time to start.
Wells, I think you peeled off with Wells and you and else drove back together.
Yeah.
Probably well is brave, and also Wells rides motorcycle, so he understands how safe they actually are.
It's not that I actually want to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I can teach you.
I would never want to go on the back of somebody else's motorcycle.
I'll teach you at the mansion.
I know, I hate being on the I rode on the back of my brother's motorcycle and I was like twelve, and he'd rode like a bat out of hell. It's scared the crap out of me. And I was like, I'll never sit on the back of the motorcycle again. And then you travel to like the Southeast Asian countries and like that's how they get around. Is like if you order a taxi, a guy pulls up on a motorcycle, you have to jump on the back. And then it's a stranger. You're like, do I wrap my arms around him?
What do I do? And you have all this like how close are we going to get here? And I hate it because you're so you have I have a control freak. You have no control, and you're just like at the mercy of this guy that's driving that you've ever met before and he's driving like a maniac, because that's just how everyone drives out there. So yeah, I personally would never get on the back, but Kaylin, like that's where you belong, not that you belong on the.
Back, but like you you're perfectly back there.
I'll feel safer in Colorado because people drive less dangerous. People drive so safely in Colorado. They're just like slow drivers.
That's not entirely true though.
Okay, then I won't get on your motorcycle.
That's just you have this notion in your mind where everyone in La drives like an idiot and everyone in Colorado drives like.
Yeah, like a saint.
Yes, and in Vegas. Vegas is so scary. La is so scary, so I'll feel better In Colorado.
Vegas is scary because it's like you could be driving at six pm and there might be a drunk driver, like driving barely down the street or something.
Sir, everyone here is drunk.
That's what I'm always worried about. So anyways, Yeah, back to the mansion.
Back to the mansion.
Well, I want to talk about a different mansion. Uh, what's going on with the house in Colorado? The last time they're talking to you guys on the podcast, was you were actually getting a phone call from your realtor.
Yes, we got the counter offer. It was they took a tiny, tiny bit off of the asking price, which we accepted.
We should have played harder ball.
Harder ball, we didn't. We love it and we close in a couple of weeks. Yeah, so we're under contract.
Well, congratulations, you guys are new homeowners. Hopefully we're waiting till we close. We've been under contract now three times. Granted we haven't seen the previous two homes and we've seen this one. We're pretty much there in terms of like closing, So I can't wait. I'm not allowing myself to get excited until the date we have actually closed, you know.
And I also feel like homes homes are like kids because this is your second that you guys were owning.
Yeah, so it's like not.
As cool as the first one now in terms of like, hey, my god, congratulations, you guys bought a house, you know, like with Dawson, everybody's like, oh, oh my god, you're having a kid. That's so exciting. Holy crap, your life can change, blah blah blah. And then you know, hopefully when we have a second people are like, oh, that's great, like congrats, what else is new? And then the third you guys, Oh my god, you guys have a new house. That's awesome.
Yeah, it's more so the move. And I was thinking about this yesterday. We've had like four people visit us in Vegas. Not very many people come, but I think a lot more people are going to come visit us in Aspen.
I wouldn't count on it.
I do.
I think I think a lot more people people like Vegas is fun, whatever, but we live in the suburbs of Vegas. If people want to come to Vegas, they're not going to stay here. And I feel like people love our friends, love DISKI especially.
But I just say I wouldn't bank on getting excited about people coming to visit, because then if people don't come to visit, then you're sad.
Oh if they don't come, it's fine. I love being alone. But I think more people are going to come visit us.
I'm not excited as much. I'm not as excited as Kalen for many reasons.
Of the house.
Yeah, ah, be excited.
We're like out of this house, and like moving is just so sucky.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's moving to a different state. Yeah, moving to a different state, like a thousand miles away. We have to pack up all our junk. And you've got a lot of junk, honey.
I've been already started packing.
Well, good, because you got a lot of junk, honey. It's just it's going to be such a pain in the butt. And then like you're not once you get there, you're still not done because then you have to unpack, and then you're still not done because then you have to organize, and you're still not done because then you have to buy more sites.
All sound like great things to me. I don't see a problem in it. Yeah, it's just it's just be positive.
Ski.
The day that we move and Kaylin.
I was gonna I was gonna be critical in a way, but I can't remember what it was.
Of course you're so negative.
Come on, sorry, there is critical and negative the same thing. No oh, I remember.
Now. We were looking houses and it.
Was like we would found a house that was like three hundred thousand dollars cheaper. I'd be like, ooh, this looks awesome and we can like redo things in it. And she's like, no, do you have an idea? How much is gon cost to redo the kitchen? It's going to be five hundred thousand dollars And I'd be like, it's not going to cost that much, and then we end up buying a house that's that much more expensive.
Anyways, it's just stressful.
Tell us more negative things.
Am I being negative? I'm just being critical. I'm being real real because I'm stressed. It's it's it's a big it's a lot, it's a big move. What are you stressed about?
The big move?
Just the move or the moving. The price is a lot of money. It's the more money than I've ever seen in my entire life.
And just the move. I think the move is the big part of it. Like, what are we going to do?
Hire movers to drive our stuff out to Colorado for us, because there's no way we can fit all this in any of our car.
Yeah, of course we're gonna hire movers.
It's expensive.
Yeah, yeah, well you wanted this.
I don't you say that, but you wanted it.
We both want it. Yeah, you want it more than.
We that's not necessarily true. I'd say it's fifty to fifty.
All right.
Well, I'm excited about the house. I don't care if you're that's good.
That means that your excitement can temper my non excitement.
Now that I'm not excited, I just I just know that there's a lot of steps to get there. And that's what I think about when we're talking about moving, all the steps.
I don't think it as many steps as you think it is.
I just I hate packing and I hate unpacking. I just hate it so much. And if we ever, I don't think we're I don't think I ever want to move again. After we live in Colorado.
We probably won't.
I think you could also hire the movers to like disassemble furniture and assemble it.
While I can do all those things, I feel weird paying someone to do them for me, you know, like if I.
Can do something I don't want to. I mean, that's the service you're paying for. Yeah, I don't know, So don't feel guilty. That's their job.
They want to make more money unless you could tip them.
That's true.
I just I feel weird paying someone to do something that I can do. And I also think that like people don't they are not as careful with belongings as they are with their own possessions.
And so it's like, well, if you get insurance, they will be because if they if you get insurance on it, you can get insurance on things on movers.
That's what we did.
And so if anything breaks, they you know, they come. They like inspect all the furniture to make sure, like, oh, there's a ding here, so that's not us, it's gone. The same thing when trading in a car, and then uh, you know, then if you get back and you're like, hey, this bedpost is broken, they're.
Like, oh, well you got any good You got any good recommendations for moving companies for us?
Ye?
Do?
I can talk to you all of it. I can talk to you off air about it if you want.
Well, just drop a name real quick. Maybe we'll get a new sponsor.
Mayflower, Mayflower, Mayflower is the way to go.
It's a good that's a good classic American.
My friend moved from LA across the country and she has a lot of vehicles. So they loaded up her vehicles, went to drive across country. Got a mile down the road, a rock hit their Tesla windshield shattered it a mile, a mile into cross insurance. Yeah, it was fixed, but could you imagine I'd be mile in.
That's what I'm saying. That's why my excitement is tempered because of things like that.
Rocks.
Yeah, I feel like there's covered covered trailers that you could get.
Like yeah, probably, Like what am I gonna do with my motorcycle?
I have to drive it, ship it. I'm not gonna ship it. That sounds so you can just throw them, bro.
It's the same when I shipped my car from Rhode Island to l A. I think it costs me like, I don't know, like thirteen dollars something like that, something right around there. Dude, think of how much you're going to pay in gas you're not saving that much money if you drive it.
True.
Yeah, I guess, I guess. It's just those are the things that are stressing you.
Can you say something positive?
Mm? Bananas? I like bananas, like the way they taste.
That house is going to be awesome. You're gonna love living in it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm excited to ski. We'll see how that all goes. I got an MRI on my what's your timeline? Oh, to move?
Yeah, like when are you guys planning on getting out of there?
That's another thing too, well, so we'd probably be there early January. But then we have to like rent this house out. That's a big undertaking.
It's not as big as you think, but yeah.
Would be.
It's big. And then we have to be landlords.
Oh my gosh, I mean I hate, I hate, hate, hate landlords and.
Now I have to be a good one.
Now I have to be one of them.
Well, now you hate yourself, bro.
Yeah, you're right. It should be a happy about it work.
But our timeline we close in a few weeks, and they keep asking if we're going to be there for closing. We thought we'd be in Tanzania, but we will actually be home so I don't know if like maybe we drive out there unpack some stuff during closing, or we do everything remotely. But then we have Christmas with his brother in Bozeman, so it'll probably be January.
Wait, yeah, that's a good point. I just saw his email this morning about being out there for closing. But we're going to be and we're gonna try and go to Boseman. So are we gonna be able to do that?
Yeah? I was gonna talk to you off air. So there's a lot to discuss.
It's just so much traveling.
Where's Bozeman, That's Colorado, Montana. It's like it's on Tana. It's like a twelve hour drive from Colorado from Basalt at least.
But what are you doing for Christmas.
In Rhode Island.
I don't think Ashley's too happy about it.
Oh well, what are you gonna do? The problem is is that her dad is working at the hospital the day after Christmas, so he can't go to Rhode Island for Christmas. Oh she too, I know, but my sister and her brother in law.
I have to talk more to him. They're moving.
He's in the Coast Guard and he just got he got a promotion, but he's getting assigned to a different location. So they're moving to New York, in upstate New York. So it's like six hours away. So and that's supposed to be happening in June's So this is like their last Christmas in Rhode Island for a little while. So I don't know what we're gonna do. I don't know we're gonna figure it out. We're going to figure it out, Ashley, but plan is to stay in Rhode Island.
Honestly, there's nothing better than being home for Christmas. Like, I'm so excited to go to Bozeman, but just waking up, going downstairs in your own living room is so nice. Not having to travel go to Virginia. No, I'm saying, like, when we have Christmas here and we're just like already here, it's nice to not travel.
Yeah, but then it feels less like Christmas. Oh, but I guess if people are here with us.
Yeah, pros and cons to both.
So having Dawson, I'm very excited for when he probably next year. I'm excited for this year because it'll be fun seeing him open the toys and seeing all the presents and the colors, and he's gonna be like ooh, but when he is able to communicate more and have a better understanding of bro, there is a fat guy who comes down the chimney and he's gonna bring you so many toys. So you're gonna wake up Christmas morning and there's gonna be all these toys that weren't there
the night before. And I'm so excited for that, and so I want to be home for those moments. So this year, I'm a little bit more flexible because I like, I want to be home when he is fully aware of what's going on, and I feel like that starts next year. This year, it's more of like, you know, he's just colors and ripping things open and running around when.
He opens gifts, is he like excited and he's aware that this is a present?
Yeah, I don't think he knows.
I think it's he's just he's just opening things and he knows that things are in there that he can I think everything is a toy to him as of right now. So I guess he's a little he doesn't know the idea of gifting or presence, but he knows the idea of toys. But The problem is I think he thinks everything is a toy because he'll grab things and start throwing them and it's like, no, that's not.
A toy, buddy.
So if he like it, whether it be his a box or like, you know, because he has boxes in his room that we put his toys away in his chest and he knows that, like he opens it up and he grabs a toy.
So I'm curious.
I'm assuming it's the same thing with gifts, where like he you know, he likes just like ripping the paper, and he likes opening the boxes and just like grabbing what'sever in there. So I think he enjoys that element of it, which is a lot of fun for us to watch.
Have you seen those tiktoks where the kids are gifted a potato or an avocado and some kids are so they like throw it and they're so angry, and then some kids are so sweet and they're like, thank you so much, Mom, I love you so much. But I guess he's not that age yet where you can where you can test it verbalized.
But I plan on if we have kids, I'm going to be like, hey, Santa is not real. I'm giving you these gifts are from me.
It's so magical for them to believe in something that's fake.
I want all the credit. I want all the.
Okay, that's fine, with all due respect, With all due respect to the parents out there who don't tell their kids the story of Santa Claus, who tried to, who say like they don't want a lot of their kids. I don't think I could. Just you and I don't have anything in common. That's what it really comes to.
It like magic. They get to believe in magic, but magic.
Isn't real, So why would I want to instill that belief early on?
It's like it's it goes hand in hand with being a child and being just like so pure that you get to believe.
I want the kids to know that I'm the reason he's getting presents.
He will for the rest of his life now one day.
I want to establish it early on. I need to drive it into his brain.
Hey, that's selfish.
Mom and dad are buying me these things, and that's some magical man that lives in the North Pole.
That is selfish. I'll still sing the songs and then it's pointless.
I'll get like one small present from Santa every every Christmas for him, and they'll be like, oh, Santa's gifts suck, but Dad and moms their gifts are awesome.
You'll give him a potato from Santa, so you'd be like, dude, Santa sucks.
Yeah. I hope Santa doesn't even come this year. I don't even like potatoes.
Yeah, get him out of here.
Yeah.
How old are you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
I went snooping for Christmas presents and I looked and then I told my siblings. I have a stepbrother who's the same age and my older sister and they were all conspiring. They all that both of them were conspiring in the basement. I think I was like ten or eleven, maybe that's old, maybe younger. I don't know eight, but they were in the basement, so yeah, I must have it was before third grade because we moved third grade. And they were like, oh, we didn't want to tell you.
We've known for years, and I was like, oh, now I feel stupid.
So you just found out through them?
No, Because I found Christmas presents that said to Kalin from Santa. They had like already wrapped them, right, And then I went down until.
My siblings under the tree. They were like in the closet.
Yeah, and my mom like threw sheet over them. So it was before third grade.
Nice?
What about you, I don't know, you never believed.
I'm trying to remember when I probably had a similar situation. I would always sneak down around like two am to see how big the presents were. Maybe like steal a present, sneak went away and like open it in my room.
That's awful.
And I think I think similar situation, Like one of those times I might have like seen someone under the tree putting a present.
I can't remember. I can't remember. I don't want to say anything because I don't know certainly when it was.
Do you remember, Jared, Yeah, I was probably around eight eight or not, I guess.
Yeah.
So maybe that's the right age because you start here hearing rumble in school about Santa not being real. Those losers who spread those rumors awful, I'm gonna.
And it's their older siblings who earned it for them.
I know, those jerks. My sister did a really good job.
She knew.
She didn't tell me, but then we were so I was always kind of speculating whether Santa was real or not at this point in my life. And then my parents. I'm sure you guys experienced this as well when they had gifts under the tree. Some said from mom and dad, and some said from Santa. So my dad got me this baseball contraption. I forget what it was, but it had something to do a sports and it said from Santa on there. But when I opened it, my dad was like, yeah, I saw this and I really wanted
to get it for you, blah blah, bah blah. And I was like, but it said from Santa. And then he was like, oh. And then my mom and my now that I know my mom is an adult, like the most Nancy way possible, was like, you know, there's something we need to tell you. I like, my uncle just died, your dog died. She's just like, you know, Sanna's Sanna's not real. Yeah, I found out Christmas morning. Don't most kids find out Christmas morning?
Is that weird? I think that's weird. I mean, I don't know, I have no idea.
I've always sort of like, your siblings just come together and you like whisper together, but you never tell your parents. You know.
That is funny, though, One today, my mom was like, Sanna is not.
Real, Jared, There's something we need to talk to you about. We're getting a no, I'm just kidding, Santa's not real.
It's almost like like do you know looking at my sister and she's like, yeah, I've known for a little while now, and I'm like.
Oh my, how she found out? Like did your mom sit her down? And she's like, hey, Sanda's not real.
Probably, my mom's so dramatic, that's amazing. I know she's just it's funny now, but you know, there's something we need to tell you. I think I have a good idea of where this conversation is about to go.
I think what happened for me was we were, uh, we were somewhere for Easter, and my mom would always hide Easter baskets around the house for us for us to find in the morning, like in complete separate locations. We were in Steamboat one Easter, and I think I found out that trip that the Easter Bunny wasn't real, which then fell into like is Santa reel or any of these things real? And then eventually that's when I found out all those things were fake.
Is it's just Santa and the Easter Bunny. I guess leprens.
Leprecauns aren't real leprechauns.
I hate to break it too. Oh, I believed in lepre cons in like kindergarten.
Yeah, for sure, I like you go from the I felt it like that was just such a big jump from like Santa the Easter Bunny.
I guess almost things there.
Are unicorn that's a good one.
Yeah, yeah, but leper couns makes sense. I was thinking of like the horror of the leprechauns, like the gold at the pot of gold at.
The end of the rain ferries are crazy that parents can just sneak in there, pull your tooth out from under your your pillow, your parent without you waking up. That's impressible.
All hard to be sleep. Seriously, it's very impressive. I'm definitely waking up, Dawson, and then as I'm slipping like a dollar bill Underneathan trying to take his s.
Just checking making sure.
I think my parents would like wake me up in the morning and they'd be like, how'd you sleep, And while they're like talking to me, they would slip their hand under the pillow and do the spot I had a.
Little actually now that I remember, on my bedside table, I had a little tooth holder, so my tooth would go in the holder and then they'd replace.
It with the But I think it's crazy that we would just used to lose teeth. Yeah, isn't that disgusting?
And you get so excited when it wiggled.
Oh, and it would hurt and then you would cry and then you would like put it back in your mouth and see if it would fill the cavity up with the new with the two that you just lost.
That's gonna do it.
For this week's episode of Help We Suck at Being Newlyweds, thank you guys for starting this episode because I just got out of bed five minutes before this started and I was not in a mood to talk, So thanks for thanks for knocking me out of that mood.
Good time.
Yeah, it was really more Kalin. She has to deal with you, Jared. We'll see it tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow.
I have the safe flight, guys, you too, You have a safe flight as well, Kaylin. I'll see you tomorrow tomorrow. And thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode of Help We suck at being newlyweds. Be sure to tune in next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit less.
Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at.
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