Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds with Dean Aungler.
Kylen Lurkey and Jared haven An iHeartRadio podcast.
What is going on? Everybody?
Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds. This is Dean Bell, joined by Kaylen Bell and Jared Habn somewhere off eating a sandwich in the distance. But before anyone says anything, I have an incredibly special announcement to make.
Are you ready for this?
I'm ready.
Happy birthday to you, hah.
Be birthday to you.
Happy birthday, Jay, I'm interested.
Hay birthday to you.
Thank you so much. That was wonderful. You guys have just amazing voices my God, voices of angels right there. Thank you so much. I'm old.
You're welcome, dude, Happy birthday. Voices of an angel, face of an angel. And you've never looked younger, So congratulations. Happy birthday man. What's up? I mean, what are you doing today? It's a big day? Thirty five?
Ashley sitting next to me, she's doing her makeup. What are we doing today? I'm gonna go get We'll get now. I guess I'm gonna go in a sauna nice. I love Sauna's. So there's a place down the street that offers like a infrared or something like that. So I'm gonna go enjoy that a little bit later and then probably just go get to some dinner and then that's really it. Put up Christmas lights. Those are my favorite
favorite time of the year. I'm that guy I put Christmas trees Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving?
Do you always do it on your birthday or is this just a special treat?
No, just a special treat. I just do it whenever I have time, really, whenever we have time.
Sounds like one heck of a birthday.
Thirty five actual, guys age, I mean, so, Dean, you're.
Thirty yeah, twenty nine, thirty two, you're right, you nailed it. Oh you're you are thirty two, thirty two yesterday ninety one?
Oh wow, never mind. And then Kaylen, you're twenty nine.
Oh twenty eight, it's okay, twenty eight.
I'm aging you. You're the resident senior of the group here though, Yeah, dude, old man bro like, once you get to thirty five, I mean, you're right behind me, so I guess you're kind of in the same group. But then Caylen, once you get on the other side of thirty, you're gonna be like, oh, no, great, happy birthday, thank you so much, really appreciate it. You'll just get on with my day.
You want to know what I always think about whenever I feel old, and it just makes me feel so much older, is when I'm watching a football game or something, and when you're twenty and you're watching these guys who are twenty five to thirty five playing football, and you're like, oh, okay, cool,
they're older than I am. But now that we're in our like mid to early thirties, you're looking at these guys in the like twenty six and then they're like talking about this running back who's been in the league for ten years, he's thirty two years old, and how he's like on the end of his career. And I'm like, wait, no, I'm thirty two years old.
That's me.
Isn't so crazy? Whenever we watched football years ago, these guys were always men, you know, there are always men playing the game. And now I'm older than Patrick. I'm much older than Patrick Mahomes. I'm older than Travis Kelsey.
Oh wow, how old is Travis he's got thirty thirty four.
Oh thirty four, okay, I think so. And then Mahomes has got to be twenty. Is he even thirty yet?
I would I would think he's under thirty. And then Brady was like, you know, he played till he was old, but he was like a freak of human nature.
And it's like, okay, well, I'm not a freaking human age.
I feel closer to Brady's age. I'm not sure if this is accurate, but I feel closer to Brady's age than I do to Patrick mahomes age.
Let us fact that it's real quick. You're eleven years younger than Tom Brady, which is weird. Are now seven years older than Mahomes?
Oh yeah, Okay, Seriously, technically speaking, I'm closer to Mahomes, but I feel like I'm closer to Brady.
M I saw this TikTok the other day and it's like, it's crazy how people in the two thousands are twenty three and I was born Are people who were born in the two thousand actually just two thousand or twenty three? I was born in nineteen ninety nine, and it's crazy how I'm also twenty three and That's how I feel. I was born in ninety five. I still feel twenty three. When someone asked my age, I'm like, I'm twenty three.
This is because you're a swifty No, I.
Feel more like twenty five is where I stopped aging.
Yeah, I just feel like two thousand and five was ten years ago, and no matter what year it.
Is, that's how I feel about two thousand and seven. When did you graduate two thousand and nine? Two thousand and five is are random yere for you?
It's just like mid two thousands always feels like it's that, like that was a decade ago.
Yeah, twenty thirteen, I'm like, twenty thirteen was just a couple of years ago, right, No, ten years ago.
You want to know what I really hate?
What?
Just to get a little off tangent here, yep? I hate when I make it smoothie in the morning and it's going great, everything tastes delicious, and then you hit a chunk, and you hit a chunk and I just hid a huge chunk in my smoothie and I can only all I want to do is go back and reblend it. But I know that I can't because we're in the middle of this now.
I also think about chunk of like fruit. Chunk of ice wouldn't be so bad. Chunk of fruit.
I like, I could eat the chunk of fruit. But then my teether all sensitive. What do I do? Can we put this on hold and I'll go reblender?
You just suffer the chunk man.
On Jared's birthday. He would never want you for the birthday. He would never want this, you know.
Speaking of Dean being a baby about things, I texted Dean a couple of days ago, said how's your leg? And he texted me back and he goes, I'm fine. Doctor thinks I'm being a baby. Yeah, dope, Please well elaborate. No, let's talk about the leg.
This is on top of to do list today because I'm worried about you and going to Africa and then you're going to be suffering. He's he's getting better. He's been a little cranky still when the pain comes, a little mean, a little cranky.
I was we were going to sleep and there was a shooting pain at my leg, and I was like I came out of nowhere and I was like, Kaylin, my leg is killing me. Can you please go get the heating pad, and she goes no, and I was like, it's so much pain. I took it so personally. You know, when you're in pain and someone laughs at you is the most.
When what happened, we're all joking around, goofing around, we're watching suits, and then I was like, do you want me to go get the heating pad because he like winced, and he was like no, oh no, I'm fine, and then suddenly like yells out like and I thought he was joking because we were just joking around, and I was like, oh, okay, fine, I'll go get the heating pad. I thought you were being dramatic. Little did I know
you're being serious. And as soon as I knew you were serious, I went and got the heating pad.
And I'm sorry that I was being a little mean because you laughed at you.
Laughed at my pain.
I thought you're joking.
Anyways, you know when you stub your toe or like bunk your head and people are like laughing at you and it.
Hurts, So it's the worst thing when someone last at your pain. Yeah, I was just trying to explain my perspective. I thought you were being funny.
You were The thing is my perspective.
Yeah is right, Yeah.
Sure, whatever, but it's just inflammation, we learned.
Yeah, So I went to the doctor, I got an X ray. Well, I went to the urgent care, which I don't know are they doctors there?
So let me just backtrack real quick, because Deane said twice on the podcast last week that urgent care can't wreck can't refer you to an orthopedist, because that's what our doctor said. Turns out they can. He went to the urgent care, got the X ray, they referred him to an orthopedist.
What I think I should be telling the story. I was there for all of it.
Yeah, you want to, you tell the story. Thank you.
I appreciate that. So I got the X ray. It turns out urgent care doctors can refer you to orthopedists.
Can you believe that?
Kalin can't believe it.
Can't believe it.
And he was like, everything looks fine in the X ray. What it probably is is a lot of inflammation. Have you done any things lately that are out of the norm for you? And I was like, oh, yeah, I did a hundred perpees every night before I went to bed in Hawaii with Ben Higgins and he was like, I don't know what that means.
But I was like, yeah, I've been working out a little bit harder than normal, and.
He was yet, wait a minute, Yeah, why.
Ben made me do a hundred perpose every night before bed in Hawaii?
No, okay, Ben, he's a crazy man. It is crazy. We're blaming Ben for Dean's pain. Ben makes up these crazy games each night we're in Hawaii. First one is like Vokatila water and you have to guess. You have to just take a shot and hope that it's water. Next night it's a push up contest where they just they pull black and red cards and they have to guess if it's black or red, and if they're wrong, they have to do ten push ups. Dean was consistently wrong.
Not good at that game. I'm bad at guessing.
Then they got tired, their arms got tired, so we started me and Jess would pick their workouts for them, and they're.
You know, they're girls, and I feel like a girl like navigates more towards leg workouts than arm workouts.
Well, you got your arms were tired, so we were doing legs to.
Say, in general, girls gravitate more towards legs than arms. Not me, Okay, you are. The burpies are just oh my god, the wpies body and lower body.
That's that's that's that's the worst thing you could possibly done. You couldn't have then been like, hey, just do some air squads. No, do burpies.
No, I was being a little mean. I was one who picked the burpees.
And we're and we're drinking during this game too, so like we're pretty drunk playing these this game we're working out, which is just in the hotel room at like ten.
Just didn't Ben wear Me and Jess are just watching them work.
Out, and I wanted to impress the chicks and Ben obviously too, so I'm like going all out for these like weird jump things, and I haven't jumped in four and a half years since I broke my leg. And then that's I think the root of all the pain, even though it kind of it took like a whole week to set in. So anyways, all that to say, he said, it's probably just inflammation. He says, I'm going to send you to your information to the orthopedists, and if they call you, it's bad. If they don't call you,
it's fine. They called you, and they called me yesterday. I didn't answer. You didn't tell me that it's feeling better, though, indeed, I'm going calling back today that you said that's the top of the do list, and you were right, it is the top.
Of the I thought they were just referring you. I didn't know that something bad is going on.
Well he said that, but I do think I don't think it's serious. I think they're just probably trying to set up something so they can get some money from me, like whether it's an MRI or an X ray or something like that. But moral of the story is it was it wasn't loosening hardware. We don't think it's a torn laboram. But I do want to get an MRI just to kind of confirm all of all of the things as being untrue. So yeah, that's where we're at. That's where we're at with the leg pain, and it's
feeling a lot better. Thank you, Thank you for texting me, Jair. That meant a lot to hear from you.
You don't need to thank you. Ah, Well, that's good to know. But also I guess it still could be bad because you don't know what's going on.
Bone wise, everything's good. Muscle wise. Might be a little bit different.
Bone wise, muscle wise, that's good. So it doesn't look like you're going to lose the leg. That's the important thing.
The leg is staying on for now.
For now, like staying on. That's good. So you're not hobbling up a mountain. Yeah.
Oh, I did want to talk about something about you guys. So you are putting up Christmas decorations today because Kaylin's been asking me to pull the Christmas decorations down from the attic.
Yeah, and I noticed that you also posted something about your story, Jared. I growing up, my mom would not put the Christmas tree out until the day after Thanksgiving. And I'm like, that's not enough time. So it's our house. Yeah, we make the rules.
Wait, Oh I serious saying yeah December one is what I but I agree it's a lot of work and so you kind of want it up.
To be longer.
Yeah, it is a lot of work just for a month, So I want it up today.
Ok, Okay, I'll take it down.
You can say I think you should put it up today.
Yeah. So you and Ashley, it's like a couples thing that you guys do this together the tree.
Yeah, I mean most of the time we're just fighting our way through it. But it is crazy how it's just it's it's comical how like we just like, for example, I'm putting up garland around the banister and it's about fifteen or sixteen steps, so it's a pretty long banister, and she pulls out. The problem is Ashley just always thinks she's right she and she'll she always she'll make
assumptions on things. So there's a couple boxes of Christmas decorations and I open up one and she's like, oh, this is definitely the garland that goes around the banister.
Yep.
I remember these are the bows because I like these bows. And I'm like, all right, perfect. So I put the garland. It only takes me about twenty twenty five minutes, but just like go through each of the you know, winding around, make sure it looks good, blah blah blah blah blah. So I get done and she's like, oh, it looks good.
I'm like, yeah, it looks good too. I open up the next box and there's more garland in there, and then I'm like, oh, ash this one's kind of long for just around the house and she goes, oh, no, this is the one that's supposed to be around the banister. And I'm like, you said. She's like, I know, but no, I got confused because of this, And I'm like, Ashley, just a minute, just say you were wrong and I won't get so mad. And she's like, fine, I was wrong, but you need to do it all over again. Oh
I'm like, oh, you son of a bitch. So of course, after like a moment of like me going to the bathroom and be like, god, damn it, I you know, I take down I just put like Christmas music on, take down the bay the garland that I just worked so hard for like a half hour. Forty five minutes doesn't really seem that long. It's not that long when I verbalize it, but in the moment, thirty forty five
minutes is a long time. Put Christmas decorations up. Yeah, and then you know, just put it, did it all over again, and then thirty.
Minutes down, thirty minutes back up. So really it's an hour and a half at that point adds up.
But h and the problem is she is so ocd about the interior decor of Christmas where I'm much more of like your CVS plastic Mickey Mouse, Peanuts type Christmas. I like different colors. I like it like feeling very cozy and nineties like. I love the aesthetic of a really beautiful Christmas as well. So I'm all for just white lights and this beautiful like she just put up a little talent on the mantle and it's all like
very very nice wooden houses. But I'm also the guy who loves, you know, the little fake ice rink with like the little ring, like the little people going around that's obviously battery operated, like twickle lights on top, and I love that stuff. But she's like, Jared, that's not happening. This is the way it's going to look inside. I'm like, Okay, I can accept that. She's like, you can have your way outside. I was like, and I just reiterated yesterday.
I said, I'm just reiterating rate Now I get to do whatever I want to outside. She goes yup and I said, okay, so outside. Over the next couple of weeks, my plan is to make this look like Chris's vacation, and it's going to be extravagant, over the top and ridiculous, just to really prove, like prove home the point that it's being like you can't say anything?
Actually, are you.
Talking about snow globes and like all of those?
Oh, I already have a twenty five foot blow up grinch.
It's ready to go.
And she has no idea, no, she knows, and she's biting her tongue like I'm going to I'm going to test her. This is really what it comes down to. So I'm a kutrarian. I like to like push buttons a little bit. I know that doesn't seem like my my my personality, but I'm going to just like really go over the top and be like, hey, remember when
you said you promised you weren't going to say anything. Well, this twelve foot sanna and reindeer set that's going off the roof will be attached tomorrow, so just be prepared for it. I'm very excited.
And are you gonna do all these yourself? Because walking on the roof sounds a little scary?
I got it, it's goy don'where about it.
Just don't hurt yourself, man, it's.
Gonna be good.
Going back to the wreath, I have a suggestion for you. Have you seen those QR Garland, Yes, have you seen those QR codes? So you like take a photo of what's in it, you label it, and then you stick a sticker QR code and you scan it. So every year you're like, oh, this is the one that goes on the banister.
I don't like that. I don't like that because it's like, why not just write out what's in there?
Because it's a photo. You see the photo. I don't know. You're right, three, you're right, But I was thinking about it for my clothes. I want to know where my winter coats are. I want to know where my.
Winter coats.
Yeah, yeah, it's almost more.
I don't know.
I've seen that same video and TikTok multiple times, and every time I see it, I'm like that just it seems.
Like you're.
Just put a sticker on your box.
This is the of the stairway Garland.
Yeah.
Do you hang Christmas lights?
Me?
Yes, yeah, of course.
I mean I'm gonna hand Christmas clos We put the tree up so we're not getting we get a fake tree. We have a fake tree that we bought last year for the house. And it's like, I don't know seven feet. It's pretty big. It's nice, and we put that up and we're just decorating right now, and then I like getting a real tree because I want a real tree in the house. We're going to get that upstairs. But the problem is because we're going to her house for Thanksgiving and then we're going to La with you guy
at the beginning of December. I'm not gonna put a real tree in the house until we're home, so the real tree won't be going up until like December third, or fourth, or whenever the hell were at that point.
What's the what's the point?
Yeah, oh, it's still a point. There's three weeks and plus I'm gonna keep that tree up until at least middle of January. And anybody who comes at me, dude, live in the North East in January and tell me you don't want like a little glimmer of hope that is illuminated in the middle of your living room that just gives you hope. Yeah, you know, because January Februy March is not much hope in this area. It gets dark at four o'clock, there's nothing to look forward to. It's cold, you're.
Lonely, is it getting dark at four already, because it gets dark here at four thirty.
Now, yeah, it's like four four thirty.
We're pitch black here. Yeah, four forty five.
Hate that.
Oh it's the worst, dude.
Why can't we just be like Arizona. Yeah, I don't understand.
Everyone keeps saying it's next year, it's next year. Well, what year is it?
Well, it's even worse in January and February in March because the days are short. You don't have Christmas to look forward to. Not that everyone looks forward to that, but you don't have those holidays to look forward to. And then also, what really just makes it worse for me is you don't have football on anymore in February and March. So it's like it's, you know, four pm, and it's super dark out and you don't have Thursday or for Monday night football to watch.
And it's like, oh, it'll be good when we move to Colorado though, because you'll just ski.
Yeah, but I can only ski untill three.
Yeah, that sucks.
You're right, it'll be much better on Well, you know, you're just gonna have to accept your fate.
We want to know. I just want to I want to. I want to.
I want to vent real quick about hanging Christmas lights because I hung Christmas lights last year on the outside of the house. Yeah, and I just went to the hardware store and bought a bunch of lights. I bought these little snowflake hanging things, and I bought like two hundred feet of Christmas lights. And I just didn't know any better. I was just go and I was like, oh,
these look nice, Oh these look nice bottom bottom. And what I didn't really realize at the time is that, like the lumines were different on the lights, and so I hung everything and it looked like a hodgepodg Frankenstein Christmas light set up, because every set of lights was a different like brightness or like shade of yellow. Yeah, like white blue yellow. And no, yeah, it's a rookie move. It's such a rookie move. And I'm so embarrassed to admit that I even did this. But I spent hours
hanging these lights. I got out my twenty foot ladder, I was up on the second story string and things across, and then I hang them all up and I'm like plug, I'm about to plug them in, and I'm like here, we go hug him in and it looked awful. I was like, what did I just spend four hours doing this?
It looks so bad?
And Deane was like, do you want me to change it? And I knew how much time he spent on it. I was like, well, if you think it looks good, it's okay. Yeah, And then he took him down in.
Our house too.
Like we're in this big subdivision in Las Vegas. There's probably like two hundred houses in the subdivision, and our house is like the very first house you see when you come in, and like we're on the corner of the whole lot, basically one of the corners.
There's many corners, but one of the corners.
Like we're in a high viewing area, like we're not tucked away in the back or anything like that. And so every time someone comes into the neighborhood, they just drive by are crappli.
And they see, yeah, your podge Christmas lights.
Thankfully.
No, I kept him up. I took him down at the end of the season. But I didn't.
No, no, no, you switched him, you got a new one.
No, I didn't. I was way too lazy for that.
Wait, I swear, I remember you, and Christmas lights are expensive.
I'm not going to go back to the store and spend another one hundred.
I swear you did keep your receipt.
Bro Oh no, I don't want that again.
I know. I'm just gonna hang the snowflakes up.
Okay, Klen, You're a nice person. Because if I did this and Ashley went outside and looked at the lights, knowing full well how hard I worked on him, even though I made a mistake, I would have said. I would have been like, Ashley, should I change him? And you, being the nice person you are Klin saying oh wow, I knew how hard he worked on it, and I was like, it's up to you. It doesn't look bad. Ashley would have been like, it looks terrible. I can't
live like this. It needs to be changed today. And I'd be like, thank you so much for recognizing the hours that I just spent. And yes, I made a mistake, but deal with it.
I just realized too, I threw away our extension cord. Darn it.
What about that one hundred foot one that I accidentally bought.
I threw it away, Oh, because it's a horrible extension cord h so long and it was so helpful.
You threw away a hundred foot extension cord. You know how expensive that is?
Yeah, well it was expensive.
We have three.
I have three extension cords that are nice, like high quality, thick gauge extension cords. And then she bought like one hundred foot crappy one. But it was still expensive just because it was so long, and I was like, I'll never use this for anything because it's just lower quality.
And then I just didn't even think about it.
Yeah, damn bro. Also, it hurts you guys right now being in Vegas with Chrystmas lights is that it's just so warm, Like it's forty five degrees out right now, so like when I walk outside, it's like it's like fifties.
Right now, sixty three right now. Man, it's freezing out.
Yeah, he poor things.
I had to walk last night.
Oh you might even have to start wearing pants.
The forties at night, sixties in the day. Forties at night it's cold and desert cool.
Killed were in a sweater right now.
Yeah, it's freezing.
Oh man, oh.
Man, Well, what else do you guys want to talk about today?
Oh?
I'm just excited for the holidays.
What are your Thanksgiving plans?
Kailin, We are just.
Going to stay here. We were going to go to Denver, but my grandpa broke a steamer and so they we were going to go hang out with them for Thanksgiving, but because of that, they're staying in Vegas. So we're just going to walk over to their place and have Thanksgiving with them.
Yeah, and Jared, you're staying or you're going to Virginia, eight.
Man, So we're going to Virginia. We always do Virginia for Thanksgiving and Christmas in Rhode Island, but Christmas RhE Island's tough this year because Ashley wants her parents to come. Obviously, her dad is working at the hospital the very next day and he goes in at like six o'clock in the morning, so he has to go at six o'clock in the morning the day after Christmas, so there's no way he could be in Rhode Island for Christmas. Yeah, and like he doesn't want to fly back Christmas night.
Who the hell would want that anyway? So I don't know we're gonna I was thinking about being nice and saying we can go down to Virginia for Christmas too, but I want to spend Christmas for Hode Island. Plus, like we're setting up all the decorations and Dawson is you know, he's still young. He doesn't like I mean, it's funny. We're like, Dawson, what is what does Sanna sound like? And he goes, oh my god, what's a
durable thing? And so we're getting into primetime age. So like I want to we have a fire truck for him in the garage because for some reason, both Ashley and I were on the same boat that like when we vision Christmas morning for some reason, with presence under the tree, like there's always a fire truck, like a big fire truck under the tree. And so I'm very excited for that for Christmas morning, like for him to
walk out. I mean we could, Yeah, we could do that in Virginia too, I guess, but I don't know. We'll see.
Do your parents go to Virginia at all for Thanksgiving?
They were supposed to go this year. They went a few years ago, but they're gonna stay in righteound this year. My dad refs football, so he does Thanksgiving Day games and he's very excited about the high school with games doing on Thanksgiving, which makes sense because it's a big ordeal. It's fun. And my sister, you know, my sister and my brother in law, you know, he has family here, so they always stay. So it's always weird because they're not going to come to Virginia and not see his family.
So my parents are gonna stay in round this year?
Is that typically what you guys do is so like Ashley's family for Thanksgiving, your family for Christmas and just switch them off.
Oh, he says, they always do Thanksgiving in Virginia. I thought you said that, right.
Yeah, so we've never done Christmas in Virginia. We've always done that. We've only done Thanksgiving. We actually went out to dinner a couple of years ago. It was the year that I opened Audrey's. Because before leading up to Audrey's, it was just really you know, time crunch of opening a new business. There was a lot going on, and so I flew I think I flew to Virginia the morning of Thanksgiving and we went out to dinner. You guys go out to dinner on Thanksgiving?
No, never have.
It sucks. I hate it. I hate it Thanksgiving. I like being at home watching football. Like I have a glass of wine in the afternoon, we cook. It's like a whole or deal. You can start drinking wine at ten am.
Yeah, May's Day parade, right, Macy's Day Parade, and then there's like a football game on at noon and then you're just locked in from there.
That's why Thanksgiving is great.
I love it too, because I love being in the morning. But then even though you never leave the house throughout the day, like it's the one time of year that I'll like not dress up, but I'll put nice clothing on, like nice jeans and nice sweater when not leaving the house, and like wearing shoes, and like it's very funny. We're literally just going to the dining room, but like you dress up a little bit.
It's nice.
I don't know. I love that, and I love watching football, even though you know, I think the games are gonna suck this year. I don't know if anybody's on, but anyway.
I didn't even look at the games, but it's gonna be what Cowboys, probably a Lions or something.
I don't know, dude, you know who plays Christmas Eve?
Who's that?
Broncos, Patriots, Ooh, you should go to that.
This is your punishment for losing fantasy football. Go to that game wearing a Broncos jersey. With Thanksgiving and Christmas, as you guys know, I'm not a big holiday guy, just because I don't like the implication or the expectation of holidays. But now that I've gotten older and my siblings have all gotten more rooted down in their places when we have holidays, like, do you like going to my siblings house or do you like hanging.
With your family more for ex holiday?
Well, that's not a fair question.
It's well, I'm just curious because I like, for me, I'll answer before you answer. That way, you can feel as guilty about it. I love your family so much, but like for me, it doesn't really feel like a real holiday unless my brothers are there with me, my sister.
You know.
Well, I was thinking about this the other day because we do typically spend Christmas with Dean's family. We're spending Thanksgiving with my family at least my grandparents, but my family lives in Virginia. I hate Virginia. Virginia to me doesn't feel like like you don't feel like you're in the holidays at all. I don't know. It's just like the seasons. It's usually not snowy.
Isn't that where we did Thanksgiving a few years ago?
We did thanks even there a few years ago. But it's just like, especially Fredericksburg, it just always feels like gloomy. And then going to Bozeman or going to Jackson Hole, it just feels like Christmas and so that it's like obviously love your family and like love hanging out with them, and it's like it's like a younger Christmas too, you know, it's like we're all around the same age. We just play games and drink and have fun versus like, you know, it's different.
The thing with Virginia too, And not to crap on Virginia.
I will crab on Virginia. I hate it.
I just believe that way you have the right to have I don't have the right.
And I think once my mom moves to Virginia, our moves to Denver, like we all spend more holidays with them. It's just like the thought of going to Virginia five hours.
Away, Oh yeah, it's hard for getting from here to there.
For five hour flight and then you have to find a DC it's an hour to two hours south. It's like, I love my family, but it's I want to enjoy, like the holidays, and it doesn't feel like the holidays.
I've only been there once, so I don't really have much of a light to stand on here.
But when we were there, it was obviously Thanksgiving time, end of November, and it was cold and dreary. The trees had no leaves, the ground was barren, and like, if the trees aren't going to have leaves, the ground should have on it, and there was no snow on the ground. And we were like, what do we do today? So we went on a hike and it was just like a hike that you're just like, what am I even looking at? There's not really much for me to see around here.
Welcome to Virginia.
Yeah, And so I don't know enough to know to say that I don't like it, but I just I prefer it the same way as you in the mountains.
Yeah, especially for the holidays. Like love to go back to Virginia and like see the cherry blossoms in DC and all of that. But for the holidays, I want snow and I want to feel like I'm in because.
You want to feel like you're in a snow blobe. What's that lifetime like a lifetime movie.
Yeah, And growing up in Virginia, spending every Christmas in Virginia, That's what I've always grown up with and it just it never felt special, and this feels special.
Can we do something this Christmas as a wedding couple for the first time and this can become our tradition? What every oh you say if I'm going to say something bad worried? No, every Christmas, we role play and we're actors in a lifetime movie and we stumble upon each other out of Farmers Market.
You've seen that TikTok where she's like, oh, I just came from New York work and he's like, my tree farm's failing. She's like, I have a marketing degree, I know how to save you.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like him. So that's our new that's our new Christmas tradition.
Perfect. Your siblings are gonna be like, what the hell's wrong with Hey? I love it.
It's traditions as they can screw off. But yeah, okay, sorry, sorry that was my tangent about Thanksgiving. I'm just curious too, Jared, what do you think would like obviously, you love both families so much. I just think we can kind of get stuck in our ways of like, at least me personally.
I don't think it's it's fair to like put Yeah, it's location.
Okay, Well, let's hear what Jared has to say about it.
Yeah, I mean I can definitely pin families against each other as well. I have no quarrels doing that, ah, I think. I mean, I don't know. Virginia has become really my second home because of Ashley's family, so I certainly don't mind spending the holidays there preference. I would rather spend in Rhode Island, just because it's a little bit colder, there's more of a chance of a snow,
there's more nostalgia. I like doing more things in the area around here that's Christmas related that makes me feel like it's, you know, home for the holidays. So yeah, Right Island.
Sure.
But then yeah, and I think my I think my parents enjoy the holidays more than Nashley's parents, even though they like it. Like my dad's very much like me, where he loves the Christmas aspect of it. He wears like an apron while he's cooking that says kiss the chef, like stupid stuff like that. Like he really, you know, he loves his eggnog and he loves all that shit, so I think he like he always buys Dawson and my niece some sort. It's like a Rudolph animatronic or
a Grinch animatronic, you know what I mean. He loves that stuff, and I love that stuff and it makes me feel very holidayish, So i'd say that.
Yeah, I agree, we need to start getting it. Well, I guess all of it is probably old enough to start realizing that she's getting gifts from her aunt and uncle.
Oh yeah, we got to be the cool ones.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, how old Dollif she's a year younger than Dawson, I'm sorry, a month younger than Dawson. Yeah, okay roughly maybe even just a few weeks younger than Dawson.
Well, you also have to compete against your siblings, Like I mean, she won't really. You could get her a piece of paper towel and she'll be happy with it, but you need to like compete about against your your your you know, your your family. Here, you got to be the cool adults.
I mean, I gotta get it.
And every time we're out somewhere, she's always like, we'll go to any store no matter where we are, and she'd be like, Oh, this is so cute. We have to get this for Murray, or we have to get this for Olive, and I'm like, oh, you're thinking about my brother's children a lot more.
Than I am.
So it just makes me so nervous. I was in Target yesterday. I was like, don't walk past the children's clothes. And when we have kids, I'm just all my money. I'm not going to have any new clothes for myself.
I'm just gonna that's not gonna happen.
But the last thing you need.
It was another reason to be online shopping.
I know. And I saw Ashley's thread up ad. I'm also doing a threat up ad and I was like, they have baby clothes.
No, you don't need another ready for it.
Oh I can't wait if.
You guys have kids soon. God, yeah, Kalin, you're it's just because you you dressed your kid as you want to dress them, so you just put anything on them and they have to wear it and they don't care and they end up loving it. So oh Yeah, it's the best. This is why I hope you have a girl.
I don't know.
Actually I just said that without really thinking about it.
Then I feel like we'd go even deeper into dressing her up.
That's true, but I think that I would dress her down so much so it would combat styles.
You think you're a dressing her, I'm dressing her.
Well, You're not going to be only the one taking care of her. I'm going to be dressing her half the time.
Every time we change her, she comes down a new outfit.
She's gonna be wearing like baggy sweats when I'm taking her on the walks, and then and then she's gonna be wearing a tiara and.
Yeah, I don't know, you'll you'll yeah, I mean, whether it's a boy or a girl. Like I love dressing Dawson because like we bought him a Jordan sweatsuit kind of where who's Jordan sweatpants? And Jordan's red shirt. I'm like, bro, you have to wear this, Like you don't understand how cool you are right now You're wearing Jordan's And when he said was He's like, bro, it looks dope. Obviously, He's like, let's go, Dad, Well, let's go play some
ball real quick in the backyard. Oh yeah, and he's got like these cool little even though the Patriots suck right now, he's got like little he's got like a little Patriots zip up.
You should raincoat? Can I ask you a favor? You should raise Dawston to be like a Texans fan or something crazy like that. No, that be just that would just be so funny though, Like you're you know, you're diehard Patriots.
I'm dire heard Broncos.
If we just raise our kids to be some random other football team that we don't even really care about.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind. Like if he was like, hey, I'm a forty nine Ers fan, I'd be like, all right, I'd be like, whoa Dowson. That's the most full sentence I've ever heard you speak. Before he speak sentences, He's like, Dad, the Dallas Cowboys are a cool team to watch. Like, I get dude, that would suck if he grew up to be like a Texans fan.
But I'm saying you should have like like guide him that way, just to see that way, like when he's twenty five and you're sixty five or whatever. It is and the Jaguars play the Patriots.
You guys can have like a I like more so like having him like the rivals. I don't know who the rivals of the Patriots are, but having him love your rival team would be awesome.
The Bills, the Dolphins. Who would it be the Jets? It would be the Jets.
Oh yeah, dude, he's not gonna be every time every time we see Dawson. We're going to give him the Jets.
I like me. Yeah, I like the burn it before it gets in his hands.
We should give all of the Raiders hat or something.
Oh yeah, it would be cool if he liked, like if he you know, if he liked like a really you know, football team, you know, if he was you know what the problem is right now is that he's gonna be No, he's going to be a Chiefs fan if this continues.
Yeah, by the time he's sold enough to care. I don't think that they're going to be good.
I think people are going to be annoyed with them and they're like, oh, Chiefs, you.
Know, I'm also the Broncos be the Chiefs Broncos.
Yeah, that was wild baby. Since we're talking about football, should we talk about. It was an intentional segue Jared's fantasy football punishment.
Yes, Jared HAVEBN lost what is it? Hot Chubb time machine lost to spotty wi Fi.
Speaking of spotty WiFi, Jared is cut out right now.
Oh that's great.
Well, let's go through some of the punishments punishment for let's know some of the punishments that the listeners wrote into us. By the way, thank you guys so much for listener for writing in these punishments.
So we got a good We got five of them. I'm only gonna say for I.
Know my favorite. You want to pick your favorite, and I'll tell you my favorite.
But can I read them all? And I'm going to omit one of them and at the very end, I'm going to share it. Sure, Okay.
So one of the punishments is and Jared is still frozen, so I don't even know.
He's gone.
One of Jared's punishments is dress up in a Broncos cheer outfit and do a Broncos cheer.
I love that one.
It's okay, I mean, and he could, yeah, he would have to post it on TikTok or his story or something.
That's that's number one for me right now? All right, it's also the last one because that's the only one that I've read so far. Go to a Patriots game decked out in Broncos gear. That's tough because going to a game is kind of a challenge.
Yeah, I don't like that one. I do like it, but I what if he were to wear like a Patriot, bring a Patriots pull over?
Oh, and then just put the Broncos on for the picture and yeah, yeah, that's very too easy.
Not saying he would do that, but it's possible he would do it, all right.
The next one up is dressed up like Ashley in Quotations, like Dean did for Kaitlin at the Next Bachelor watch party at Audrey's.
Audrey like that one's your favorite one.
Oh, and then the last one is get a license plate frame that says I suck at fantasy football and keep it on your car until the next loser is determined.
So, of those four, which one do you like?
I like the one that you didn't say.
That's the one I was going to save till the end, until he comes back.
No, I was gonna save it till the end, and I was going to do the thing and then we were going to be like.
Bye, yeah, we need we need to that's he's not going to do. That's way overreacting to a lot and fantasy football. Maybe, No, it's not that one. I read that one and I was like, that's way too crazy for even someone like me.
Yeah, I know, I'm just kidding. Okay, I like dressing up as Ashley or dressing up as a Bronchost cheerleader. But either one he does, And Jared, if you're listening to this back, you have to commit fully commit to either one.
Yeah, I think dressing up as a Broncos cheerleader and going to a Patriots game.
Like dressing up as a Broncos cheerleader and then going to the game.
Yeah, but it's too much like oh have you seen this? I got to share this with you real quick. You're gonna you know who Robin Williams is.
Yeah?
Did you have you ever seen what he did with the Broncos?
No, but can you show me after no? No, no, no, no no no.
This is very important to share it now and for the listeners out there. So there was once upon a time Robin Williams. He was the first male cheerleader in NFL history. He dressed up as a Broncost cheerleader, went out onto the field with the Broncos cheerlead and did a.
Cheer with everyone.
Okay, but I can't really watch it right now.
Oh just a picture.
Okay?
Why how come you seem so mad at me about this?
I'm just sure everyone Robin Williams's cheerlead outfit. So if Jerry could go to a Patriots game in that outfit.
That'd be awesome. That looks like an expensive outfit. Yeah, yeah, we're picking your punishment for you.
Fantastic. I don't know what the hell happened. My WiFi just stopped working.
Right when we said spotty wi Fi.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, So dress up at a Broncos cheer outfit and do a Broncos chair like that, Go to a Patriots game decked out in Broncos gear, dress up as Ashley at the next bachelor party at Audrey's. Or get a license plate frame that says I suck at Fantasy football and keep it on your car until the next loser is determined. Of those four, which one do you think is the best?
Well, definitely not the license plate. I mean doesn't cost money.
I agree, Yeah, I like Ashley or the Broncos cheer outfit, and you like while you were gone, I said, either, when you do, you have to really come to it.
Yeah, what's tough too.
This is alreayly going to cost some money to a certain degree. Like if I were I'm just trying to think if I lost and I had to go to a Broncos game and then take a picture to Broncos or in a Patriots jersey, I would have to spend money on a Patriots jersey, which sucks.
At some point.
You could just ship your Broncos jersey too, Jerry.
That's almost as expensive as behind one.
I don't know.
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Now, I think the Broncos cheer or jessup as Ashley, I just don't think it's like that. I don't know crazy to go to a Patriots game decked in Broncos care.
Well, I think it is.
I hate going to sports games and let's say the let's say the Raiders are playing the Chiefs and you show up and there's like people are in Dolphins jerseys or oh like.
That one time we're in the Titans suite, the Titans owner's suite, and you showed up in a Broncos jersey.
No did I do that?
Yeah?
Yeah, well that's because I'm a huge Broncos guy.
And then you took it off.
Yeah, like see, I think this is cool. I just put it in the chat. I don't know if it's gonna say, oh, there you go. That's what you should get Jared from for John Allay.
Jersey, he just said he doesn't like orange.
Okay, I'll find a non orange one. But that's different because like I'm a huge Broncos fan, and those other people, I don't know what they are.
In the Titan suite, the Titans owners. You think they're not Titans fans huge?
Are you serious?
Yeah? I no, you make a good point.
So how is this gonna work? Are you guys like reducing it down to two and then I pick Yeah, let's see you guys just pick it.
I already reduced it down to two.
Okay, let's do that.
What your two dress up in.
A Broncos cheer outfit and do a cheer for TikTok or stories, or dressed up as Ashley at the next Bachelor watch party.
The choice is yours.
I get to choose. Yeah, oh dude, that's easy for me. I' dressing them up like Ashley.
Okay, how deep are we going?
I mean, I'll put makeup on, I'll wear lipstick, I'll get my hair done, heels.
Well, do you see the photo in our rundown where stresses me?
Yeah?
I see.
You also have to shave your legs just like I did. He did shave got I'll go with hairy legs, but I would rather because the the cheer outfit.
Here's the thing with here's the thing with the I'm sorry to interrupt, here's the thing with doing the Ashley dress up is it doesn't really it doesn't correlate with you losing fantasy football to me, you know what I mean? Great, Like the Broncos thing is like he's doing something he doesn't want to do to make me smile a laugh.
Okay, so nixt Ashley, it has to be Broncos.
Yeah, but you already reduced it down to two. That's why I like the Ashley thing. I feel like it's the easiest for me.
But are you do you plan to going to any Patriots games this year?
My plan is no, I mean they suck ass. I was we were gonna potentially go to the Patriots Giants game because Ashley's dad is a Giants season ticket holder. But they're like, do I really want to watch Tommy DeVito, who's the quarterback for the Giants right now? Versus Zappy God probably Zappi or Will Greer, Oh God, and it's gonna be like three nothing because they're both terrible. Yeah, let's see what I mean. I wanted to go to a Patriots game this year just because the tickets are
probably so cheap. Maybe I'll go to the Jets Patriots one January seventh. That might be plausible. Last game of the year. No one gives a good seeds. Yeah, because the other ones are it's in Denver Christmas Eve. There's no way I'm going to that. Obviously, New Year's Eve in Buffalo, They're home against the Chiefs on December eighteenth. That's plausible. It's a Monday night football game, but they're going to get.
Their blowing off, like watching your favorite team lose by seventy points.
Dude, it's gonna yeah, it's gonna be I actually think that they'll stay in the game, but obviously there's no shot of winning. And then they're home against the Chargers December third. But when do we get back from LA? When does our LA thing?
So have we decided anything?
We're deciding right now. He's asking you a question.
I think when I'm the third or fourth, Yeah, there you go. Yeah, but the third is the game. We'd have to be back by the second at the latest. Plus, like, kids, just throw a wrench in this whole thing.
We're gonna buy you a cheer outfit and you're gonna do a cheer that's your punishment.
I'm leaning towards Well, here's the thing. How much is this cheer outfit? Because like, if I have to pay sixty eight dollars, how much is John Elway jersey? Like one hundred and twenty probably, so I'd probably rather sped one hundred and twenty on a jersey that I actually like looking at, rather than a cheer outfit that I'm gonna wear once and oh God, that's awful. All Right, here's the dude. Hopefully I don't drop out again because my security system is like telling me that I'm not
gonnact to the Wi FI. All right, here's the thing. I'm going to let you know by next week because I got to talk to Ashley figure out if we're going to go to a game. And if we do go to a game, I'm doing the Broncos thing, even though it sucks because I also hate being that guy that wears a freaking jersey of a team that's not even playing to the field, like I have to walk
to Gilllette Stadium in a John Alway's Broncos jersey. But at the same time, yeah, at least I'm not going to Robert Craft's you know, booth or whatever the hell it is. That would be way worse. I don't know if you can hear, but Dawson is losing his mind downstairs. But yeah, all right, so I will down to two. It's either going to be the cheerleading outfit or it's going to be me going to a Patriot's game in a Broncos jersey. I'm going to talk to Ashley see if we go to a game, and if we go
to a game, I'm gonna do that. And if we don't, then obviously I'll be showing off my hairy legs while shaking pomp poms.
But either of them have to happen before the end of the regular season. Do you agree with that?
Oh?
Of course, it will happen before Christmas.
Before January seventh, Okay, before Christmas?
Oh well, unless I go to the Jets game, of course, then we'll have to hold off to January seventh. But if I do the cheerleading off it then obviously.
And I omitted one of them because I don't think you'd ever want to bleach your hair, right, Why what's the other one?
One of them was to.
Bleach your hair blonde. That was one of the punt one of their friends, dye your hair platinum blonde?
Yeah?
Is that even fun?
Yeah, it's fun. It takes about two hours.
Is that something that isn't that? I just hate seeing adults with platinum blond hair, So I would never ask you.
To do that.
Yeah, I mean I would do it for like a week and then call it quits.
But then, what do you do shave your hair?
Do you shave your hair?
Off or do you die it back to the regular color?
You mean shave it off? Don't you just get the die out? Is the dye?
To fakeness?
How this works?
Oh, it's like a permanent bleaching of your hair. Shut up, I'm pretty sure. I mean I wouldn't know. It's why I've ever done it or anything.
Wait, do you really when you dye your hair, it's permanent.
Yeah, that's you can't just take it out.
But when you're when you're your here grows back, it grows back your standard color.
Yeah.
Like look like, look I just did this a week ago, and you see there's you know, there's no there's some inside color.
There is like the brad What is that?
What the hell is that?
Yeah? It looks cool?
Right?
Could you? Could you just hate adults?
Don't you just hate adults that bleach their hair flat?
What the hell is going on?
Don't you just hate when adults.
Bleach their hair platinum blonde? Isn't that the worst?
What is? Why is this happening?
I just thought it'd be a funny thing to do.
Had a mid life crisis, he said, I've.
Always wanted to do it, and I was in pain the other day and I was like, I'm just gonna go bleach my hair blonde.
So you sat in a chair for two hours.
You sat in the chair for two hours. You bleached your hair blonde. Dude, you are eminem You're some shady Yeah. Like like cool right, Like it looks really cool. Tell it looks really cool. It looks great. You know what's funny? It actually doesn't look bad on you.
Thanks, man. I appreciate that.
The cameras a little fuzzy. There's a halo over your head. It's very difficult to tell what you look like right now. Wait a minute, so you're telling me that just randomly.
Yeah, you told me I was getting a haircut.
I did get a haircut. I didn't lie.
It's definitely shorter.
I just didn't tell the truth about everything that I was doing. What inspired this just not that my hair is short. I feel like I'm a little less able to express myself with my hairstyles, and this was just something I thought would be funny.
So I did it.
Dude, you have to post on it.
There was no Yeah, I'm not going I'm debating whether it's something I want to post on Instagram or not. Oh, you have to There was no rhyme or reason to it. It was just something where I was like, I just want to see what happens. I just want to do it and do it now, ask questions.
Later kind of thing.
And how do you feel now that you're blonde?
I was thinking about shaving my head bald last night a lot for a long time, and I still think about it pretty often. I think I'm gonna give this a solid two weeks and if it still is like really bad, I'm gonna shave it all off.
Okay, yeah, well, okay, I want to say your first mistake was going to Supercuts.
Yeah, seventy bucks? What a deal?
Do you ever go to super Cuts?
Can you believe that? I thought it was great.
I thought it was gonna be like two hundred bucks, but it was seventy.
But super Cuts, yeah, they don't know how to. I don't want to crap on Supercuts.
But she was so nice and she did say she's like, hey, it's a little more yellow than I thought it would be. Let's put you through one more session. And I was like, I've been sitting in this chair way too long. Get me out of here, here's your money, let's go.
I don't go to Supercuts. Well, if you went to a well established not that Supercuts isn't well established.
Yeah, I watch your words here, but don't you knock my super Cuts down the street.
They're the most But when you think of Supercuts, you think of people who have gone they Russian and they come back with like a botched haircut. And maybe that was just the nineties, but I still think that I still correlate it with that. If you went to you know where I get my hair done, you I'm out blonde. This is not you know, yellow blonde, You're gold gold. I like it Supercuts.
My Supercuts girl did great. They're all getting their degrees from the same places. They've all been working in the field for the same amount of time.
Yeah, she obviously didn't do that well. If she was like, hey, I need to do know this session, You're like, I'm over it, I need to get out of here.
Well, she was like, your hair is kind of light enough to where I think it only needs to have one session to lighten it to white. And I was like, oh great, And then we did it and she took it off and she's like, oh be cause she said sometimes most times it takes two to three sessions, and she's like, I think you can get away with just one. And I was just like going, I getting I was questioning everything while I was sitting in that chair, and so I was just like, get me out of here.
Yeah, I would be interested to see what you looked like white.
Should I go back and get it lighter?
I don't know.
I mean, if you're just gonna go bald, what's the point.
So you're saying I should do it, then.
No, I'm saying, if you're going bald, I agree.
I do think white would look kind of cool.
It looked different. It's just like it's yellow.
Yeah, it's yellow.
I feel like I feel like a super Saiyan. Who super Saiyan?
I don't know what that is.
You don't know Dragon ball z No, when Goku goes upgrades himself and he goes super sayan he goes from black hair to blonde hair.
Oh my gosh.
But yeah, I do feel bad for being on supercuts.
But don't feel bad.
I don't feel bad. They're fine, okay. Ah. I don't know what to say.
So do you want to do this for your punishment? This is this is also an option for you.
So with your dark hair, it'd be four hours, maybe longer.
It would take a long time for your hair for sure.
The real punishment would be me doing that at a Supercuts.
That's that's where get your haircut out of Supercuts for the next year.
That's your punishment.
They're great, it's eighty dollars haircuts. That is, go in and leave the same day. It just guys haircuts are different than girl haircuts totally.
But even with guy haircuts, I swear I've known maybe my brother used to go to Supercuts and he come back and he's like, why did I go there? It looks bad.
They don't have the best you know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean in my I guess. I guess now other think about it. I never like the way I look after I get a haircut. It's probably because I always go to Supercut. That's just a guy thing, though. I think I just don't. I think guys just don't.
Like I don't think that's true. You try going to my girl, and I think you'd love it.
I disagree. I think that guys hate their haircuts.
Their fresh haircuts like a week until a week after when it grows in a little bit and you can be like, oh, that looks a little.
Bit better, Jared, do you agree?
Yeah?
I hate when I first got a haircut, I think I look stupid. I think I look dumb. I think I'm hideous, and uh then it grows out a little bit and I'm like, all right, that's good, I can style it a little bit more.
Oh my gosh, I just read on our rundown. Actually we have a new sponsor to the podcast and it's Supercuts.
Oh shoot, yay.
We love Supercuts.
There every week is Supercuts, the same thing as sport Clips.
I think they're different.
I thought the same group, but there probably are.
Yeah, this was a Supercuts. They're great. Check them out.
So yeah, what a way to end up podcast right there? My god, blonde hair, platinum blonde hair.
Bro Yeah, I don't.
I don't really have any plans to share it with the world anytime soon. So this was this was even a surprise for me. Caitln's been pressuring me to show it all episodes so far.
Yeah, he went golfing with his buddies and he wouldn't take his hat off, so they have no idea.
Yeah, I think you should post before the episode comes out because I think you'll get really good engagement on the podcast. On you on your Instagram. I think you did a post on your Instagram.
We're going to We're going to F one this weekend, so maybe I'll get a nice picture at F one.
Oh yeah, are you gonna go white for F one? Are you going to stay old?
Well? I don't have plans to do anything else. Okay, we just talked.
You're going to become the guy who dies his hair something a different color, like every few months.
I might be.
This is my midlife crisis, do I My question with the girl and Supercluts Supercuts was do I bleach my eyebrows as well?
Oh no, no, you don't do that.
So bleach just kills your hair. It's going to take a long time for your Oh I.
Already feel the death in my hair. I can't like like running my running my fingers through it. It doesn't feel like my hair. It feel like I'm running it through like a wig or something. Yeah, all right, well that is gonna do it for this week's episode. Thank you guys for listening, and thank you guys for sending in those punishments. Jared.
You have until Christmas?
Yes, next week I'll make the decision, though, I'll announce what we're doing.
Okay, thank you guys for listening. Thank you Caitlin for forcing me to take my hat off. Thank you to myself for just keeping things fresh around here.
Yeah.
Sure, be sure to see it next week. Or maybe we suck just a little bit less.
And maybe Dean's hair will be a different color.
Could be. Thanks for listening.
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