Ex Texts in the Nest

the top of the episode. There is an article published by USA Today that suggests you should text all of your ex is in case you have one more thing you wanted to get off your chest, and you had some very strong feelings about it. I want to hear about your feelings. I'll be honest. I have not read the article. I was trying to google it. I couldn't find it. So, Tori, if you want to send that over to me so I can just skim it because I want to read the context of it. But the

headline I freaking hate. I just don't like the idea of tech. First of all, this is not the apocalypse, people. It's a horrible time. It's a scary time. There are true heroes that are going to work every day. Every one of these things should be recognized. But the world

is not coming to an end. So the idea that you you should text your ex with one more thing in case you have anything off your chest that you either wanted to tell them or you regretted, I just I'm not sure if that's the best idea, particularly if you're in a relationship, because what does that say about the relationship you're in right now if you feel so compelled to text your ex to say one last thing just in case either one of you apparently maybe get

COVID nineteen and perish. That's the only thing I can think of why they wrote this article. Tori just sent it to me. Thank you, Tori much appreciated. It's a hundred things to do while due to a pandemic. So they list out a hundred things that you could do, um and one of them being text your X. Number one is completed puzzle. So a good job, Dean and Tory. I didn't piece together. This just goes to show you

how slowly my mind is working lately. I didn't piece together that the reason for texting your exes was because of this apocalyptic quote unquote time that we're in, and it's like, if there's a media coming to the earth, then you had to get everything off your chest, then you should like do these things. That's kind of that's what you're alluding to, and that makes sense. I think that's why they're like saying you should text X and get them off you get the things off your chest

because some of them might die. You might die. That's your I mean, yeah, I agree with you. That's ridiculous. But what if there's something you gotta get off your chest, Jared, I'm gonna play devil's advocate. What if what if there's just been something that's been eaten away at you about your relationship with Kayla that you never had the chance to say. And sorry, I always use Kala because it's the only X I know of yours that you that's very you can use Kayla. No, I've because honestly, time

has passed so much time has passed. I've moved on, you know, I she has moved on. We've all moved on. Time heals all wounds. I believe that and I've experienced it. So why even open up that door just to say one more thing that's on my chest. The only thing I can think of for a reason as to why somebody should reach out to an x ray now is if you're single, you still have feelings for them, you regretted the way it ended, and you want to explore

that relationship again. In this pandemic is putting everything in perspective for you, which is why you feel so compelled to reach back out. That's the only thing I can think of. But this article, it says text your first of all, it says text all of your ex is bad idea, bad idea right there, the first four words

bad idea. I remember when I was a kid, uh, and like, growing up in Colorado, we had a lot of like thunderstorms and lightning storms and uh you frequently like the power out, power went out, uh, like multiple times a year. This would happen, like big, big lightning storms up in the mountains, and I remember every time one of them, or like maybe one hadn't happened for

a while. I always think to myself, like, oh man, I really hope we get a lightning storm that knocks out the powder power so I can text the girl that I like, or the girl that I'm interested in, or like you know, just just like to have a recent to text the person I have a crush on. Essentially, this is kind of like a different way to do that. But I agree with you. I think the only way that this headline applies to anyone is if they're not

in a relationship. Like, if you're not in a relationship, sure, text jex is the things that you want to get off your chest. But like if you're dating someone or married to someone, then there's absolutely no point to it. And this is kind of just a selfish, self indulged move anyway, Like who are you? Who are you to say that you your thoughts are so valued they just need to be heard by a person that you either broke up with or broke up with you however long ago.

You know. I feel like because like for me personally, the only thing I can relate with this sentence, which has text all your ex is bad idea. Just in case you have one more thing you wanted to get off your chest, it's either one because you're still piste off and there's like that one thing that you've always wanted to say to him but you haven't, and now

is the time is here because we're in a pandemic. Apparently, at least USA today believes that we should be reaching out to our exes to either say that one thing that we always wanted to say to them because we're so mad but we never had the opportunity to. Or conversely, you want to reach back out because you're still not which again, if you're single, if they're single, you know, or even if they're in a relationship like a new relationship and you feel like it's not over between you two,

sure of course reach back out for me. I'm looking at the article right now, and it's just a list, a list of a hundred things that you should do during the pandemic, the quarantine. And this isn't like number ninety four. It is at number fifty three. It isn't numbers, It isn't number fourteen. It's number four on the list. It's the fourth thing that they listed is to text all your exes, just in case you have one more

thing you wanted to get off to your chest. Right after learning an instrument, starting a journal, and doing a puzzle, this is the fourth thing that they So once you do all those things, start texting your excess. Yes, it seems a bit high on the list. Can I chime in for a minute? Of course we need the female perspective well, because I feel like you guys are looking at this all wrong, like you wouldn't be with your significant other if you didn't date the people you dated

in the past. Of course, so that doesn't mean you should revisit it, but in some way, let's say the world was ending, hypothetically, wouldn't you want to reach out to that person and just kind of say, and let's say that there was no other option besides the fact you were reaching out to your exes, what is wouldn't you kind of look back and say, Hey, thanks for teaching me how to be a better man, Thanks for teaching me to to have more manners, Thanks for teaching

me on how to live life a little bit more fun. Thanks for obviously it wasn't a healthy relationship, but here's really what I learned from it. And then that's how you were led to who you were with now. So I don't think it would be a negative thing. It's like, hey, thanks for being a stepping stone on my path to where I am now. So are your single? By the way, I'm in a really good relationship now. I just want to say thank you for being one of the bridges

that allowed me to get here. I think you guys could all look at one X, and I think you guys should speak up maybe on who would be or something you learned from one of your past relationships that helped you develop better dating skills, Like you have to recognize some X, and I think you guys should step up and say who that X was and what you learned from it. Two things. One, this has nothing to do with recognizing an X and how important they were into my like for me personally in my life, all

my exes are very important to me. Uh. And then you know everybody has that one X where it was the most impactful relationship you've had before the relationship you have right now. And then number two, I mean, unlessen, you know, an asteroid hits us right now, the world will not end because of COVID nineteen. The world will go on, right I mean, there's already talked about possibly reopening the economy and may Jared, don't beat around the bush.

I said, hypothetically the world is going to end. You have to reach out to one of your exes and say thank you for something. What is it? Going to be what you what, I'm going to thank them for what I'd have to think about that. I mean, I know who I would text, who I would call? Um, who is it? I mean, well, I'm not going to put their name on blast. I mean because like just because I signed up to be on a public podcast doesn't mean they did. Um. But I know who I

would text, and I would of course. You know, this is all sentiments that I've already said, uh, in some degree or another, um to this particular person about how much they meant to me, and still you know, do to this day in a certain aspect, just because you know, you have such intimate moments with a certain person and you go through such you know, you have these private, private moments with one another that you know just very impactful. But like, all right, I'll speak upon this during this

this this pandemic. You know, I've thought about this person's family and her specifically as well. Of course I would love to reach out and say, hey, I hope you're doing well. I hope everybody's doing well. Um, you know, it's a scary time. I hope you know whatever, right say your piece, But it just feels so selfish at me, Why would I Why would I immerse myself back into their life? You know, that's unfair to them. They're not asking like we're I'm I'm the x you know, especially

if she's in a relationship. How is that? How is that going to make her boyfriend, husband, fiancee? You? You know, how's that going to make Ashley? For you? Me saying hey, listen, like I want to, I want to reach out to an x U totally potonically and just to make sure that they're okay and let them know how much they meant to me, and I hope they're fine, and I hope they're doing well. You know, it's not just me that I have to h think about in this moment.

I don't know that's my two sense anybody else. I feel like you didn't really answer to question. What's what's your question? You want me to say? I'm not gonna say their name. I don't need you to say a name or whatever. All I want to know is what is one thing you learn and have appreciated from an x Something you developed a skill. There's got to be some kind of positive, even if maybe it was a

little bit of a negative. You learned something from an X. But listen, we understand your married We understand all of that. Like you have to explain that it's just what is What is something you learned from your X and Dean will go now. And I think we're talking about two different things though, because I am talking more about the action of reaching out, where you're just asking me what would you say? All right, so hypothetically what would I say?

I would what I'm very thankful for And there's many things that I'm grateful for from my past relationships because they taught me so much and in a lot of ways they were too good for me, especially at that time in my life. Um, but what I would say would probably be that I'm very thankful and grateful that I learned that just because something's wrong in a relationship

doesn't mean that the relationship has to end. And I think I've learned from different relationships that it's not always going to be perfect, and there will be times where you doubt a relationship, but that doesn't necessary really mean that this isn't the person for you. Does that make sense? It's not always going to be perfect, and I think that's what I learned from past relationships and just because

something isn't perfect doesn't mean it has to end. Do you believe that you may have ended past relationships too

soon because you defined it if it's perfectly working or not. Yeah, Oh yeah, I remember one x I I I broke up with her and we did it for many, many years, and and I definitely ended it way too soon, just because again I was in my early twenties and we were kind of having trouble the problems, and I thought to myself, well, you know, if this is wrong about the relationship, then this is obviously not the person for me.

And then breaking up with her and regretting that decision made me realize it's every relationship is going to have its flaws. There's nobody who's perfect. Uh. And I would also argue there's nobody that's probably perfect for you, because then you're putting way too much expectations on the relationship and pressure because if one thing goes wrong, then they're not perfect for me. So I'm onto the next. Um.

And so that's what Uh, that's what I learned. Yeah, I would say, you know, I definitely broke up the

relationship to early. Obviously it all worked out because I met my wife and the love of my life and um, but at the time, yeah, I should have I should have fought harder for the relation if it's something that you have to work through at some point in your life, because I used to think the same thing where I was like, oh, if you meet the right person for you, everything kind of blends together harmoniously and there's no issues ever, and everything is perfect all the time, and you guys

are so in sync with each other that there's never gonna be any disagreements or arguments. But eventually, I think you just realize that that's not necessarily true. Um, at least in my case. I just like the longer I live life, the more I realized that there isn't that like, uh, I don't know, Nirvana for relationships or whatever that you like fantasize about when you're in middle school. At least for me, that was that's kind of how it works me.

But for to answer Tory's question, Um, the funny, I was trying to think about it while Jared was talking. But I don't think that I ever really. I can't say that I never learned anything in relationships, obviously, but I think the most important thing that I learned in my relationship as an adult is more is not what I like, but more so what I dislike in relationships.

And now the only thing that's changed is like, I've always been the biggest issue in the relationships, in all of my relationships as an adult, and so now that I've just gotten older, I'm just like trying. I'm improving myself and that in turn improves the relationship. And I

know that really make a lot of sense. But then to bring it back further, to answer the other question with my ex uh, there is an X that I have that I did it in college who I admire a lot, who is a nurse, and so maybe I should reach out to her, I guess now that I think about it, and just thank her for her her jumping into AC as a nurse. Maybe I don't know if I should or not. I probably won't, but you know, now that I'm speaking out loud, it probably in the

best idea. But yeah, I know, well, whoever that is, if she's listening to the podcast, thank you so much for being an essential worker right now. Yeah, so, Dean, you posted on Instagram the other day of you two years difference on your driver's license Yeah, how funny is that? And that was a pretty big difference in those two years. Like I thought I was gonna be looking at that and have that be two thousand and eight, but that was only two eighteen. That's kind of crazy how much

it's changed over two years. Did any girl have an influence on you? Where did that all kind of change come from? I think that my whole life, I had like this certain image of myself. And when I was like twenty six or five, I looked at myself and I was like this polished, bratty looking guy that partied

a lot in Los Angeles. And the image that I had for myself didn't really reflect the image that other people had for me too, because I was partying all the time, but I didn't really ever consider myself a

party or you know what I mean. And then eventually, I think once I decided to move into the van full time, this was what like early twenty nineteen, maybe lateen Uh, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna start to become the person that I've always thought of myself as, which is like this traveling, adventure seeking, uh dirt bag of sorts. And so that's kind of why I just started growing up, like they I haven't cut my hair since probably September of um, so like maybe even six

months after that driver's license picture was taken. And then yeah, I just slowly like I know, I like look way worse now, but that's kind of part of the appeal, Like I want I'm like purposefully making myself look worse, if that makes any sense. Well, what what led to the change? Why did you want to change? Uh? Well, I like wasn't happy with myself obviously, like I was partying too much. I wasn't like fulfilling. I wasn't like

getting fulfillment out of anything I was doing. You know, like going to the bars isn't like make you grow as a person at all. Um. And I feel like, especially with that stuff, like you know, I don't want to.

I guess I just look like everyone else, like the do she looking rat boy with the with you know, I got news for you, you don't look like anybody well at the time with the haircut and when I was like the partying and all that kind of stuff, and so I was like, I don't know, I'm just gonna take an action like change now, and um, you know, be less Uh, less of the person that I was like slowly morphing into and be more proud of who I was. And this is my way of doing it.

It's like I getta you know, obviously, travel around and do the things that most people don't get to do. And with that comes like like the grungier, nomadic vagrant look of growing your hair out and throwing out your facial hair and all that kind of stuff. I'm just I don't know, I'm adopting the image as much as I do you miss what do you miss that life? Do you the life you had two or three years ago at all? Oh? My god, absolutely not. I used

to have like major, major anxiety too. I think even as little as a year ago, maybe like a year and a half ago, I was like super anxious all the time. I like wake up and like have heart palpitations. And I think the reason for that was just like I was like waking up and doing the same thing every single day, which was you know, it was either parting with friends or like playing video games, and there

just wasn't much growth coming from it. Uh. And this, obviously Quarantine has kind of slipped that step down a little bit. But I don't miss it whatsoever, which is great, Like it's nice to know, like I, you know, I did everything that I wanted to do as like a mid twenties party yer, and I got that all out of my system and I never need to go back and revisit that because I did it enough for this lifetime, uh,

which I think is a good thing. I can kind of like close the chapter on that one and continue on this next one, whatever that might be. Do you think that's also why you are kind of more I mean, I don't want to put pressure on it, but like in more of a serious relationship with Kalin, because you didn't have to put or feel any different or feel kind of like you're living your life for someone else. It was just strictly you, and she's like that's who she fell in love with. Um. I mean, yeah, it's

been a fully transparent honesty thing. I feel like in all my other relationships before, I would like hide certain aspects of myself because I didn't really know exactly who were what I was, and I still obviously don't, but I'm like getting more and more comfortable with who I am, so that allows me to be more like confident and transparent, I guess, and I think that in turn this leads to like a deeper connection with your significant other in you know, Calin and then in this case, because it's

just like we are who we are, and it's like we're not going to tell each other to do things that that aren't who you are, and so it's like, you know, you're just kind of getting closer and closer with this person. Fully, I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, but that's yeah, that's that's where we're at. UM. But Jered, what about you? Do you ever miss like single Jared partying life. Uh? You know, I was never a big partier in general, so I would say I don't miss it at all. I love Ashley.

I love being with Ashley. Um, it's really nice and being you can attest to this now having a partner, you know, someone that you can really rely on, almost like a teammate. Um. But the only thing I guess I miss about being single is being able to just do my own thing, because every decision I make now isn't just a decision about myself, it's about it Ashley as well. And so I guess there are times where I do miss being able to um. I guess more specifically,

it's about being home. I think a lot of times I missed just being home a lot, And I obviously associate being home sometimes with being single, because I was, you know, living there for twenty years of my life, and then obviously I moved to l A and then that's when I started dating Ashley. So I kind of I don't know how to articulate it at best as possible, but I guess sometimes I miss just being able to, like wake up in Rhode Island and have that very

low key life. But I wouldn't obviously change it for the world because I'm happily married, and I wouldn't I wouldn't want to be married to anybody else. And so I don't know if I answered your question adequally or adequally or not, but that's the best I got for you. I'll take it. I mean, anytime I get you to talk, I'm happy about it. Stop. I love hearing your voice. Teane.

You know it's so funny too. You said that you look worse now, but I gotta be honest, ever since you grew your here, you grew your hair, I feel like your best look was in paradise with the long hair. When you shaved a mustache at at my wedding and when you went back for Kalin, I feel like that's the best you've ever looked. I agree. I think it's got a little too long, and I've I've contemplated cutting it again, but I'm I'm probably gonna grow it out

for like another six to twelve months. Your hair is really long because I've been watching your TikTok videos, and your TikTok pretty much is just you archery and Kalin. Is that? Is that? What really was the motivation for you creating TikTok? You're like, how can I just annoy my girlfriend? Further, I'm not gonna dance. It's like, I'm not creative enough to like, I don't know. I was

just like, what can I do? I couldn't play silly, harmless pranks on my girlfriend and your tiktoks are super creative? Are you kidding me? Well? Thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah, if you're out there listening, follow me on TikTok. Demian your score babies, Um, I think a big part of

that too. Sorry, before we go into break, because we do have a great guest coming on next Yeah, the bachelor himself, so to speak, right, But before we do that, I just want to finish by saying, Uh, there's also a point with the image shift where I was like, I think my shitty actions sometimes got excused because, uh, people like thought that I was cute or something like that. You know, so like, oh, it's fine, like he's he's handsome,

so you can get away with the shitty behavior. And so by becoming a scumbag and like a homeless looking man, people can't really to use that excuse. So I'm holding myself more accountable, you know what I mean. One more question before we go to break. You talked about holding yourself accountable and a part of your growth as a human being and your growth with hair, uh, has has come that self realization that you have to hold yourself

more accountable. Is that why you wear the wedding ring, because it's more of you showing Kalin that you are putting effort in to commit to this relationship. That's a great question, Jared. I'm not I can't really talk much on the ring though. So we're gonna take one quick break, uh, and we're gonna come back and we're gonna have Jimmy Parento from a couple of dudes who started their own

SF based quarantine dating show. So everyone stayed put, We're gonna jump on the phone with them, all right, welcome back to help I suck at dating quarantine style. And speaking of quarantine, we have a quarantined bachelor who's a special guest on the podcast right now. Uh, Jimmy, I'm sorry, Parento. Yeah, that's that's fine. No, I want to know. I'm so bad at pronouncing names. Man, I cannot even pronounce my own name. So yes, parent Parents, you nailed it. I think,

okay perfectly, Jimmy, thanks for joining us on the podcast. Man, I appreciate it. Dude, you're the quarantine Bachelor, so I am. I am not taking the quarantine Bapslo. My fiance might get upset, but yeah, I'm behind the page with another guy. Well you're you're like Chris Harrison. I'm yeah charming. Um so, yeah, you came up with it with your buddy Tyler. So tell everybody what exactly the quarantine Bachelor is and why you started doing it. Yeah. So Tyler and I are

co workers. Um at yelp, So we both live out here in San Francisco. Um, And I met Tyler when he started in January, and he had done a couple of live dating shows. He's done some stand up comedy himself. Um. He kind of pitched me on the idea, And since moving with my fiance, I've been watching a lot of

live dating TV. UM, so I kind of love the idea of when he fished me on it, because we're gonna do it live in San Francisco and got a venue and actually do this whole concept where people come on and we have them pitched their friends and go on dates in front of an audience. Um. But then obviously Shelter in Place happened here in San Francisco, and Tyler and I are like, well, we gotta we gotta wait,

even though we have a venue and everything. I aroned now and so one day I called him up and like, hey, let's just do it on Instagram and so, um, we did it on the Graham And that's where we're at now. And instead of handing out roses, you guys hand out toilet paper, which is uh far more of a necessity right now exactly. You can you can actually get some good use out of these roles. So Tyler, so I'm

two Jimmy, So Tyler's the Bachelors. So you guys, you said you watch a lot of live dating shows because you're engaged in your fiance is a fan. So do you watch the Bachelor? My fiance is a huge fan of YouTube. To be honest with you, like, I'm Bernie Brownie points being on the call, I have watched it, um and she she loves the show. I've watched Bachelor Paradise, I've watched Bachelor Bachelorette. UM. I don't know, I don't.

I don't think she loves all my opinions on like when we're watching the show and I have some opinions, but I don't know. I feel like, yeah, I do watch the shows. She makes you suffer through it. She I like some of it. Like last season it was pretty interesting to me. I know a lot of people have hated on it, but I feel like, you know,

I kind of got into it. I don't know. So that Peter for the Quarantine Bachelor, obviously, it's just you and your buddy and your fiance watching the show a little bit, uh pretty much, and at a couple of live dating shows that Tyler has done before, so we wanted to do a live dating show. Um was the original concept. So that was that was where this all started.

We just did the Livening show but on Instagram and kind of put a little more satire in it than we would have if we did it live, so the contestants, so it was pretty interesting. Um when we first started, like we created it, we didn't think that many people would follow or watch. We created day one, one of our friends of friends shared another story and we got an applicant from some girl in Canada and neither of us knew them, and we're like, oh my god, this

person like an actual applicant. And that was like the first time we thought this show was like gonna be a real thing. And then from there it's starting to take off. A few people were sharing it, a couple of stories started to happen, and and uh, my old manager reached out to me and wanted to be the bachelor, and so I was like why not? And so I put him on as the bachelor, and a bunch of other people applied and I started They started going off

from there. So what happens at the end is Tyler propose over zoom to one of these girls while handing our toilet paper. Yeah, so Chyler technically isn't the Bachelor or hasn't been yet. So we've been doing like every week, we've been doing a season. Um. And so the first season was my old manager, and then this last season was a girl that we've met, um, just from Reinthrough applications. But at the end of it, the goal is to get the bachelor bachelorette to ask will you go on

a date with me? In Quarantine's over, and so we're supposed to follow up with that. We may have a reunion in San Francisco when we actually do our live dating show. Um, that's kind of the idea. And so, how many successful couples? How many successful dates have you guys made so far? We've got a lot of zoom dates? How have you call them dates? Meetings? But we've got a lot of zoom dates. We can call them dates here.

If you're going on the Quarantine Bachelor, you're dating. Yeah, so we've had we've had I think we said, I don't know, like ten or so dates, but only we've only had two seasons so far. So we set up two official matches. I love that you're doing this. This is hilarious. Yeah, I mean a lot of people have given us a lot different I think there's some positives, some negative feedback as as anything that it's been enjoyable. As long as you guys are having fun. I mean,

who can really give you crap for that? I mean, at the end of the day, it's all for fun. Yeah, I mean, I think in the kind of m o the page, we wanted to do something to kind of entertain people. And then like as we started growing, realize a couple dating apps and one not wanting to reachallenge protectually partner and we just told that man. And now it's been a couple of days on our page that I mean, this is just for fun and any money we make, we're just donating it. So like I think

the whole demo is just give back as well. Dude, that's awesome. Do you know where you're donating it too? Yeah, we have we have a couple of ideas, like you don't have anything completely ironed out. Teller and I have to be a bit more research because we want to do it in the best way possible. But um, we still haven't hired that up. We haven't accepted depending yet. Anyone that's offered us money, we said, hey, please just

don't donate individually to what you find best. But what are you guys gonna do once the quarantine is over? Is it still gonna be I mean, I guess you're gonna continue this on, but is it still gonna be toilet paper in the end? What are you guys gonna adapt to? You know, I don't know. I don't know. It's gonna be a scarce anyone borantems over right now?

Toilet papers. So that's what we're sticking with. But we're gonna do a live beating show hopefully, and I don't know where will go to be honest with you, the next pandemic. Yeah yeah, Um, So what is some of the age group of of the contestants? Like, my question is with the contestants, what is some of the ages

that you've casted on the show? And then too, when people are being nominated or reaching out saying they want to be on the Quarantine Bachelor, are they saying that they're like they really want to meet someone or are they just kind of doing it for fun? I think there's a mix. Um, I think a lot of people do actually want to meet someone, Like I think when we first started, people thought it was a little more satirical.

And I think we're getting some interesting applications and interesting comments about as going on, and like we've actually put real content. People are seeing that. I think people are putting in more serious applications. Um. As far as like a demographic breakdown, I think our youngest we don't accept anything below eighteen, So eighteens our youngest applicant, and our oldest is like mid forties, I think, so somewhere between eighteen and fourty. I think like most of them probably

sat around the twenties. We have to maybe early thirties. I think. So. All right, I mean I got a question for you. Oh yeah, it was a two part, wasn't it deared? No? No, no, no no, no go he answered it. Oh, I was just gonna say, so you're your fiance, obviously you you don't stuck at dating. But you see a lot of single people roll through Quarantine Bachelor,

So what's your advice? But what have you learned uh as to why maybe people are single, what they're looking for, and what kind of advice would you have for our listeners that are struggling in the same boat right now because a lot of people are single and quarantine. That's really interesting. See, Like, I don't know if I just got lucky, like I thought my fiance was kind of legally blonde when she first met me. But I think that, uh, I think being open in a time like this is

more important than that, right. I just think that I don't know, you're not meeting people in person, there's not that Like, I don't know, you meet them in a dim lit bar and you've got some beer goggles, and I think there's like more. I don't know. You gotta rely heavily on your personality and kind of beat yourself to like make dating work. Right now, this is my take on I'm not qualified to give an opinion on this,

but that's just my hot take. Hey man, anyone's qualified to give you dating advice from what I from what I've experienced at least, and that was very insightful. I like that answer. Dude, you are kind of like Chris Harrison. Maybe maybe Chris Harris is like mee um, So everybody can go watch this on your Instagram, which I believe is Quarantine Bachelor. Correct. Yeah, yeah, we are in the process of changing that, but that is uh the current

situation yet. And for the record, it's quarantined Bachelor, not Bachelor in Quarantine. I was just on Bachelor in Quarantine and it took me a minute to realize that was not the right one. So it's Bachelor. Yeah. The background is like a pig is purplish figure that Tyler made in power point. So it's cute, and it has a mask on this figure with a heart. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You described a better thing. I try. Um, So, so how many more dates do you have coming up? So?

He just finished our second season, like filming it. Um, we're about to put out the final roll ceremony in the final dates, and we're about to start our very next season, which is going to be male looking for Male So our first gay season. Oh yeah, that's what plan I'm doing, because are already ahead of The Bachelor in this department. Damn. I mean, I think there's there's some concerns, Like, so, I've had some friends reach out

to me since we're going to do the season. I mean when we put that yesterday and we actually lost like a hundred followers immediately. Interesting. Um, but I mean I think yeah, I mean that that's a that's a goal. That's the what we were going for those like we want people who like really want like like our content, like us and like what we're doing, what we're doing for us. It's fine to people and follow. We're not have no hard feelings, but I think that, UM, we've

reached out to people. A couple of people they had some concerns about UM. So we create a group chat with all the contestants and give them instructions that here's what's gonna happen, and we have a meat and greet, and a few people have told us that they have concerns with the contestants potentially going after one another instead of the Bachelor, UM, and like starting to court one another when uh starting to court were another rather than

waiting for the Bachelor to have andiviantual days. That so a few people reached out to us about this next potentiality season. I don't know that's actually gonna be the case or not. Um that people have said that's the reason why Bachelor hasn't done a season like that. And that's the only one way to find now and that's just let it play out. See what happens. Yeah, for sure. Like several people suggested when we cut contestants, let them go on dates with one another. Yeah, but I don't know,

We'll see. I think that's the tricky thing in the on the real life show is well because you've seen it before. Remember like Tila Tequila shot at love. I think you guys and girls and yeah, see, like the contestants start to like get crushes on each other, and that's not what you want. I mean, that's not bad because I think I guess the end of the day, you're trying to find love for these people. You want your the lead of the show to be like the

main folk. I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, I mean I think it'll make some interesting it makes some interesting dynamics. I don't think Kyler and I are used to as yet, so I think it will be a good thing to watch and learn from. But yeah, I was just looking at tequila yesterday. I was living at the flavor flavor Tila Tequila. I wonder where they were, how are they doing? Remember the flavor? What was the name of that one? I can't remember flavor, I don't

even know. But I was looking up the other day days about reality television. Yeah, those are the those O G days. Well he had next on TV when looking there was none of you'll remember that. I remember what was the show that Jennie McCarthy was on where one of the people would sit on the heart shaped chair and then they have all girls behind the chair and then they have to be like, Okay, would you rather have the naughty or the nice stay and then they

have to choose. I dating myself right now. I love the one where the parents picked the daughter's boyfriends and then they and then the boyfriends would have to like watch as like the girlfriends going on the date with another guy. Parental control. That's what it is called. That. That was ahead of its time. It was really good. Uh the show I'm talking about singled Out? And remember singled Out? I think I've heard of it, but I don't know watching. They didn't Boy Meets World episode with it,

which is why I remember it so well. I guess we all got to get back and start watching our real other television. Now is the best time for this kind of stuff. I don't even know where you can find episodes. No, it's somewhere. It's on YouTube, Hulu, and it's somewhere somewhere. Um, Jimmy, thank you so much for joining us. Man, is there any other social handles you want to plug before you go that we can watch

The Quarantine Bachelor on besides the Instagram? I mean we might we might start doing on YouTube like we started this three weeks ago to be free with you and like we I mean, we've gotten way more support than we expected. So I don't really have any other handles to plug right now. Um, but I want to say thank you guys for having me out the show. Yeah, thanks for having it or thanks for coming on and thanks for helping these singles find some love in San Francisco.

We're excited to tune in for season three. Yeah, I mean we're so just to shout out, I'm top of that is that we're doing it all over so I think we're not. We started in San Francisco, but we're trying to expand it to have like different seasons of different cities. Um. So that's that's hopeful for like these next couple coming of seasons. So um but yeah, I mean, yeah, thank you guys having thank you and please tell your fiancee we said hello. Yeah, I'll put you guys in touch.

You you you guys can send me a text. I'll say it's from you guys and say hey. Or even if you guys don't want to send me a text, or someone else wants to send me a text, I'll fake like it's from you guys. We can send you a text and so much. Of course, stay safe. Yeah, thank you? Um, all right, we are back, uh with help? I suck at dating? Can you forget where we were? I'm sorry. I had this planned out in my head and it just the execution isn't on where I needed it to.

Bess it shows we've been quarantined for a month. Welcome back to What the hell are we doing right now? Help my second thinking? My brain is complete much so listen to your heart is airing tonight, Dean. You're gonna watch? Um, I wasn't planning on it. Is it worth watching? You think? I don't know. I haven't seen it yet, but also we have nothing else to do. You know what's funny? When this was first announced, I was like, I'll be a cute little side show for the Bachelor of that.

You know, maybe people watch, maybe people won't watch. Who knows? And now, I feel like it's going to be such a highly rated show for the Bachelor because it's coming out at the perfect time. I mean, unfortunately we're going through this pandemic, but at the same time, when you have a live television show where people are quarantined to their house, what better time to release it than right now. I feel like this is gonna be there. A lot

of people are gonna watch this show. I feel like it's an interesting cont up because it's it's basically I hate to throw him under the bus, but the Jed White like, are you here for the right reasons? Are you here just to promote your music? Are here? Are you here to actually find love? Well? I think a little bit of both. Like I'm sure Dean can attest to this, Like, you go on the show for multiple reasons.

You don't just go on for love. That's a that's a major factor, but you also go on for the experience and the exposure and the excitement of the unknown and being on a TV show, So go on just for love? Are lying to you totally? I feel like that's what the only reason why I would ever go on. I would go private on Instagram and I would go to be like, do you do we genuinely like each other? Then I would did what we can go for the experience.

I'm not saying I'm not saying you go on for Instagram fame or whatever, but you go on for the experience. People that'd say they're just going on to fall in love a are lying to you and be are the ones that don't end up finding love. I I totally agree with Dean. I've been saying this for a while. I think people that say I'm only here for love are crazy, Like, there's come on, if you're only here for a love, why are you going on a TV show which you know will try to manipulate you at

some point. You know they're gonna put you in really difficult situations. And so I agree with Dean. I think there's a lot of reasons you go on. You know, there's other there's something else in the Bachelor world that kind of bugged me that I found annoying, which was unfortunate. And the Boston Herald is calling me because they want me to re up my subscription. Sorry, guys, is that

what's annoying you? The Boston Herald? I mean, they're no, I love The Harold, but I just haven't renewed my subscription, so they called me every day anyway. Uh, there was some news and Bachelor. There was other news and Bachelor World that kind of bugged me last week. I feel like I'm at this point in quarantine where everything is annoying me. I feel bad. I feel bad for Ashley because we're just cooped up and we have nothing better

to do. So like little things are now bothering me more, which they shouldn't because I'm healthy and my family is healthy and we have electric city and we have a roof over our head. Good. Um. So I saw the news, Uh put out a clip from Caitlin Bristow's Off the Vine podcast with Hannah Ann and Caitlin is amazing. I have nothing but respect for that woman. And I don't know Hannah, and she seems very nice. I was definitely team man An when the whole Peter's situation went down.

I felt bad for her, you know, when she said that he took away her first proposal. That was true, and I felt really bad. But I gotta admit there was something that they put on the news that just kind of it just made me like, look, put my back up a little bit, and and Caitlin asked Hannah a question. She said, what would you compare Peter's manhood? What vegetable would you compare Peter's manhood too? And Hannah and said collie flower because it's bland and it's tasteless.

And then Caitlin said, oh, I would have said, you you know, probably like a limp asparagus, And then Annah and said, no, asparagus is good like cauliflower. You know, it needs like, it needs spice for flavors. It's bland, it's tasteless. Asparagus is good. I compared to cauliflower pretty much. That's what they said. And I couldn't help but think to myself, what if this was a guy and he went on someone's podcast and this particular person was asked,

what would you compare your exes for? I guess what would you compare your excess vagina too? What vegetable would you compare your ex's vagina? Well, first of all, the question wasn't what would you consider Peter's penis manhood? What would you take that as? And I I think it's very it alludes to what you think, But they didn't explicitly say, penis right, So what's a vernacular for a

woman's manhood tory? What would you say for me? I think all around like character like that's how I interpret like manhood, like is he ready to really like be a man and step up to the plate and get engaged? And she was saying no. I wasn't thinking. So maybe then I took it wrong because I thought they were talking about I feel I feel like we're being very naive, especially when they're comparing Peter's manhood to a limp asparagus.

I think we're being a little naive here. Uh, I don't know, I just I I thought to myself, what what if the gender roles were reversed and a guy was talking like this and said that the females whatever you want to call it, was bland and tasteless. So when we answered the question, she was talking about his penis. I don't know who knows, But what do you I mean, do we really need to look up the definition of

manhood where the Urban Dictionary of Manhood is? It looks I agree, I do agree with you that manhood could your penis. But I guess my point is maybe she interpreted the way that Kelly or that Tory interpreted it. Yeah. Maybe, so it's just maybe maybe maybe you're right, but that is I mean, it's still controversial because we all have our different idea and takes on it. So I mean, well, it's not that controversial if you're just alluding to it.

I guess so maybe I just interpreted it wrong, that's all. Did you feel bad for Peter being in that position or were you more just upset by the gender role position? I guess more. It's just like, listen, Peter made every mistake he possibly could have, and he's gotten so much criticism for him, and well deserved. I like I was criticizing him too. Uh, but it's like, do we really have to kick a man wais down right now? And like say that his manhood whatever you want to interpret

that as is bland and tasteless. Well, I look, I agree with everything you're saying. I don't think that it's wrong. But also she has asked a question about it. I think that's kind of more more of a jab at Caitlin than it is at Hannah, Like Caitlyn shouldn't be asking that question. Well, I mean you're asked no, Because I also think like you, Hannah Cann can answer that

question anyway she wants. She could have been like, I don't really know, I don't know what to say about his manhood, like how do you compare that to someone? Or what vegetable I don't know. She could have said anything. She could have said broccoli because it's you know, not my not my favorite or whatever, you know. But I agree, like listen, I also want to say, I don't think this is the worst thing. It was just like again, one of these things that I was just bugged by

and annoyed by. I'm in quarantine right now and I have nothing else to think about. I think that this is just my opinion. I think that Caitlin is deserving a more criticism than Hannah is in the situation for asking that question. Interesting. I never fault to anybody asking questions just because like you're that's what that's what your job is. You know, we're we're supposed to ask questions. We're supposed to ask tough questions and and and you know,

people can answer anyway they want. That's my interpretation of it. I guess. I mean, look, you're entitled to it. I just think that that's just what I think to what do you think can you be can you be an impartial third party here on who should get the criticism? Yeah, if any criticism. So let me ask you, do you think what do you interpret that as? Do you think any there should be criticism anyway? I mean, I think

you can always take the high road. But at the same time, when you go on reality TV, it's like you're kind of allowing yourself to really answer questions upfront and honestly totally. Of course, like you, I have no fault. I don't blame Hannah And talking about Peter. Of course he's gonna be asked about of course she has talked about him. What I'm saying is I think that Caitlin has every right to ask the question. It's she was definitely trying to stir the pot and you could identify that.

So Hannah And could have chosen to go above that or get right in it. But I think that Hannah And is uh entitled to how she feels in that sense. But that doesnt mean it's always the truth behind it, you know, because it's like what you're saying, you know, somebody else can really you know, he's clearly spending time with Kelly, and Kelly would say his manhood is maybe an apple. So it's like you just you never know.

It's it's just it's hard. I think that when you put yourself on reality TV, you're you're you're putting yourself in the position to answer questions and not dodge them. So she didn't dodge it, sure, I mean I don't agree with that. Just because you put your yourself on reality TV doesn't mean you have to answer every question that's asked towards you. What would you describe your own manhood as vegetable? I don't self describing on Let's just think of a vegetable for us up real quick? Oh,

I got nothing? What about you? Maybe like a stick of cellary. That's a good one. Uh. I guess I just interpreted it poorly. I guess that's what you guys. You put me in my place. Maybe they were just talking about Peter's character. I don't think that you're wrong. I don't think you interpreted it poorly. I just think that there are a lot of different possibilities. I think that no one's no one's right in the situation, right, Like obviously you're you're sick of hearing people getting up

on Peter. It's understandable because he has been getged up on. I mean, he deserved, he deserved criticism. But I think now it's just like I don't know, and it's my own fault. Like I follow you news, I don't have to listen. I just saw it and I was like, oh god, wait, what how does the news coming? The news is the one that reported it? That was because yeah,

it was just like it was. I was on the news his Instagram story and so I was I was watching a news Instagram story and it popped up and I was like, oh, Kaitlin and then Hannah in on the podcast, and I was curious what they said, and then I heard it, and obviously I just kind of like, like I said, and Peter deserves a lot of criticism. I'm not saying he didn't, but like, do we really need to compare his manhood right now to a cauliflower

because it's bland and tasteless. I was like, alright, I come on, But the funny thing about cauliflower is I love cauliflower. I think it's one of my top three favorite vegetable. A little your top three? What is your top three cauliflower broccoli. Uh, it's a tomato of vegetable or a fruit. This is an age old question that's been surrounded by a lot of controversy. It goes cauliflower broccoli. What could be my third? A sparagus is pretty good,

horns pretty goods is really good. Brussels sprouts are good. Brussels sprouts are awesome. You know, when I used to live with Nick, I gotta admit Nick made the best Brussels spouts. Maybe I should hit Nick up for some Brussels sprouts. You should just crash at his place for a solid week. He'll make you some good meals. I'll tell you're delicious. He used to cook and I would clean the us. A good cook made a lot of good pasta dishes. Who cooks more? Now you're Ashley. Ashley

actually likes cooking. Is it like an every head of current? Do you guys order out as often? We? Probably? We order out. I think like our route team has been wool cooking home two nights in a row, and then we'll order out on the third. So it's like a nice little mix. It's like we you know, we love you know, she loves cooking and her mom cooks as well, and and uh, you know, I I don't cook because I don't want to poison the family. Um, and then

we'll order out on our third night. And the third night's fun because it's like, oh, where are we going to order out from? Like I went to uh, we ordered from Longhorn the other night, and we had to go pick it up. So I went to go pick it up because I was very confident that I would be very um responsible for social distancing and wearing a mask.

But it's it's weird, man, going out there. And just like even the pick up, Like, so we pulled into the spots and there was an empty parking spot and then the next parking spot had a had like a wooden plank in it so you couldn't park there. So

they were separating everybody by six ft. But then you know, the the guy came out and with his mask and gloves and and so then you know, he put the food on the plank and then he walked away, and then I got out with my mask and gloves and took it to the are and put it in there. It's just like, man, it's just crazy right now. I mean, it's all necessary, But it's it's just it's gonna be interesting how we slowly get back into normalcy. I don't know. I mean, we're obviously going to do it, but it's

just it's it's frightening. Man. Like even driving I was just driving there and like I was getting myself psyched up. I'm like, all right, stay, don't go near him, say six ft apart, put your gloves on, put your mask, like you have your pure already. I was like, is this gonna be my life for the next year? Didn't Faucist say something too, like we're never going to shake hands with each other again? Yeah? I mean I think

shaking hands might become a thing of the past. Like I think we might look back twenty years and be like, wow, I can't believe society just shook each other's hands like that. That's stupid. I think I could for sure jump back to being normal. I'll shake hands and still hug everyone. I think I'm done shaking hands with the second the quarantine has lifted, I'm going back to everything completely normal again. I think I've done shaking hands, guys. I'll just hug

you now, I will. I'm gonna have mace on me, and if anybody gets within my six foot bubble, uh in June and July, I'm mason you. I'm gonna warn you. I'll walk around with a T shirt that says, if you get within six ft of me, I'm masing you, so it will be a nice little warning. I can't How are you guys gonna go back to normal life?

Like I totally I wish I could have your mentality, But now like once the once the world started saying we have to, which is what it was needed, you have to start living in fear, at least a little bit. Like I don't know if I can ever fully go back, Like of course when the quarantine ends and I'm gonna go see my friends and family, but like, are we gonna stay six ft apart? I don't know. Maybe, like when I go see my parents, I don't know if I'm gonna give it a big hug. What if I'm

carrying it? And I don't know. That's just what a horrible way to live. But just in constant fear of spreading something that you might not even have. I'm not saying constant, but at least for the next few months. Yeah, Like, when's the next time, I'm gonna feel comfortable going into a crowded place. And then do you guys hear that concerts? Concerts might not take place till next summer. The silver lining is that now men are going to be washing

their hands way more than they ever did before. We just my brother in law, we just had a whole confession. I was like, how often do guys really wash their hands? And I was frightened by the number because you guys really never really washed them until now. So the silver lining is, men are gonna wash their hands way more. Do you know how many times do you wash your hands? I've watched my hands more of the past month than I have in my entire life, that's for sure. Do

you wash your hands before the whole quarantine started? Did you wash your hands every time you use the bathroom? Not every time, but I would say maybe like a third of the time. You know. You know what's funny, we act, Dean. You and I actually had a little conversation about this, uh, either earlier this year or late last year at the bathroom, and I heart, do you remember?

I don't remember specifically, but I think I know what you're talking about because you brought up this entire subject, and you said, you know, it's weird that we wash our hands after we go to the bathroom because here I am touching my for lack of better term, manhood, and I haven't washed my hands yet. Should I wash my hands before I touched that area? Well, I guess my main because I've talked about this with other friends before, Mike.

My main thing, my main grievance, what this whole situation is, why would we wash our hands after going number one in the bathroom when all we do is touch our manhood, our cauliflower, when in reality our hands are dirty. So in reality, we should be cleaning our cauliflower after going to the bathroom because that's the hands on and it's

just like, it doesn't make sense. So that's that's my main argument, is like when I go to the bathroom, I'm like, well, anything, I should be cleaning my penist right now, so I'm just not gonna wash my hands. I would say that you should clean both before and after. If we start going and down that road, you should clean war you touch and then after you touch, because what happens if, like you know, you get a little droplets on your hands imagine if the was a penis

cleaning stations in bathrooms. I don't even know what that would look like, but I'm interested. I mean it sounds pretty Look I'll wash my hands after number two every day of the week, but after number one, I just like, Like I said, it's just if anything, I should be watching my penis apple. All right, Well, with all this penis talk, should we do an email and then get going? Let's do you want to read it? I would love nothing more. Let me just bring it up and then

here we go. So it is from anonymous A k. Nick bile Uh, and the subject line says call it quits question mark. So my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. He's graduating college at the end of the semester and I graduate the following year. He has taken a job just outside the town that we both grew up in and intends on building his career et cetera. Building his career there and continue to live there. The problem is, the single most place I do not

want to live is in my hometown. I know for sure that as long as I'm living there, I will not be happy. It did Sationally, there aren't many opportunities within my my intended career in that area. I feel like any compromise will result in both of us being unhappy. He also regularly tries to persuade me into wanting to live there, despite me telling him I know that I'd be unhappy. Is this a reason to call it quits? Now? What are your thoughts? I think the reason enough to

call it quits. Sometimes things just don't work out logistically, and that means you got to call it quits. It's no one's fault, it's just how it is. Wow. But they've been dating for so long. So she says that they've been dating since high school and they're graduating college at the end of the semester, which means they've been together for at least four or five years, and they're ready to call it quits because of location. Do you think that's right? Maybe this is the universe's way of

telling them that they're not supposed to be together. Man, even though they've made it through college together. I feel like relationships that can make it through all four years of college, those are some strong relationships. I'm just saying. If this was a rom com and Ryan Reldolds was a star and Aila Fisher was playing the second lead. They would break up, they would go about their lives, and they would meet back up in five to ten years and hit it off. Are you quoting this the

entire story of Definitely Maybe. I'm not quoting it, but I'm using it as a as a baseline reference. Yeah, so you just yeah, so pretty much Anonymous should should watch Definitely Maybe and just go with that. I mean, I'm a big fan. It's a great movie. But it's a great movie. I'm actually totally in for this. You're in for the reason to call it quits? Yeah, I know, bad English? What do you want from me? Bro? It's amazing my mind over here. I'm in for this. I'm

in favor. I'm in favor of this. Yeah. Just watch Definitely Maybe and then uh see what happens. But this does remind me of our fellow bachelor friends Kendall and grocery store Joe because she ended up or heated, I'm not quite sure the whole situation, but calling it quits because she didn't want to move to the East coast, right, isn't the whereason from? Okay? Um? And do you guys think that was the right decision for them, like if you kind of put it to more of like an

older position rather than thinking high school. Here's the thing, there's like there's a couple of options because it's like, let's say they moved together to wherever this place is. I'm speaking about the anonymous email here. Let's say they move and she does end up being happy, then she's gonna end up regretting him because he's the one that brought her there to make her unhappy. Let's say they

you know, stay together and do long distance. Maybe the guy or girl has jealous tendencies that then make them

resent the other person as well. So it's like by breaking up, they're kind of salvaging and saving their you know, the final moments that they've had together by like remembering them fondly rather than letting this relationship deteriorate to the point where they then are, you know, disliking each other and getting annoyed by each other and then looking back and having like resent full or remorseful feelings about that person other than like ending it on a high note

seemingly like you know, from very outside for expective, I don't know much more about this, but from Joe and Kendall where they're like, Okay, we had a great run. We both clearly love each other. But if we do this, like if I go there, you come here, we do long distance, then maybe that will lead us to this resenting each other in some sort of way. Yeah, I agree with Dean. I think that if she moves there, there will be resentment. So maybe, um, maybe it's time

to end the relationship. See what your life is like without the other person. I know this isn't probably the nicest advice, but it's something that you should think about. Maybe you, guys, if he doesn't want to move for you and you don't want to move for him, maybe it is time to break up. See what the world is like without each other. And if you realize that you'd rather be with this person in your hometown then live outside of your hometown without this person, then you know,

at least you have your answer. That would be my advice. I love it. I think it's great. Um So, I think that's gonna do it for our episode of Hell I Suck a Dating. This is our fourth episode being quarantine? Am I wrong on that? Thank you? Sir? Could be four? I don't know. I've lost count of days. We're on like day thirty quarantine something like that. But we just want to say big thank you to Jimmy. Oh God parenting PARENTO. Dean, you're so much Dean. You're so intellectual.

Do you know that I'm so smart? You guys, it's crazy, you're very smart. Uh so, big shout out to him. Check out the Quarantined Bachelor, of which you can start following on Instagram right now. There. Season two is about to be uploaded. Uh so it is Quarantine Bachelor. Go check them out. And uh that's really big. Thank you to our emails. Big thank you to the I Heart Crew, Tory Eastern, Danielle Amy, everybody who is able to still have us record even though we're on opposite sides of

the country right now. Um, big shout out to you, Deane. Make sure you follow him on TikTok because it's just him torturing Kalin but in a very lighthearted and loving way, and you guys should totally follow. And that's gonna be it. So make sure you guys tune in next week. We'll we'll hopefully we'll suck a little less. Follow help by suck at dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast