Emergency Contacts with Mari Pepin

Oh well, thank you for being here. So obviously a lot of the Help I Second Dating listeners are Bachelor listeners. But just remind us what seasons you were on. You were on Wait a minute, let me guess you're Matt James season right, I was, yes, and then you are obviously on Paradise because you ended up leaving with Kenny. Yes. Well, how things are? How are things going right now with for you? Yeah? Everything's great. Um. I had been traveling

quite a bit at the beginning of the year. I was competing in a pageant in Puerto Rico, so was splitting my time basically between Chicago and Puerto Rico. But the patches over now, so I'm full time in Chicago. Kenny and I have our place together, and yeah, things are good, very cool. Now. We want to catch up with you a little bit later on, but we do have another episode, so we have a little bit of a different format coming up. We have two episodes coming

up this week, so today we're releasing it. Uh, you're probably listening to this on a Monday, and then we have our second episode, which is going to be a catch up with Mari on Thursday, so make sure you tune into that. But right now, it's gonna be hot topics because we love hot topics. It's our fair everything to talk about. So one of the hot topics this week, Marie, are you a Ben Affleck Jennifer Lopez fan? I am?

You know what, I think a lot of people hate on them, but you know, I think it's just that timing place type of thing, and you know, now it's their time. I don't know who the hell hates on them, but if they do hate on them, then they're just haters. I love Dean can attest this. I love Ben Affleck

and Jennifer Lopez together. I Ashley and I pretty much fanboy and fan girl over this one because Afflecks a Boston boy, so he's a local, and like he's such a die hard Boston sports fan, and like when he talks about Tom Brady, he has like this passionate inflection about him that I have, and there's like this relatability.

And I also love that Affleck has had this roller coaster of not only celebrity status but a life where he's been like, you know, he catapulted to the top with Good Will Hunting and then he did all these like nineties and early two thousands action movies and everybody thought that he was never a good actor, but he just was a good looking phase and so he made movies like Paycheck or Armor Gedton and and then he and then of course he like started you know, his

off his like non movies were more famous than his movies. And then he uh came out with The Town and Argo and One Best Director and was catapulted back to the top. And then he got casted as Batman, and as much as I love him as Batman, there was like mixed reviews. And then he became like, at least in the tabloids, an alcoholic. And then him and Jennifer Carter got a divorce and then nobody knew what was going to happen, and he seemed like kind of a

little bit of a distant dad. And then all of a sudden he started dating Jennifer Lopez, and it's like Affleck is back, and now they're freaking married. When Jared kat says these like when he goes on these tangents, all you gotta do is just interrupt him real quick, snap your fingers a few times, and he'll pop out of it. Yeah, it's fun to talk about. I love the fact that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are freaking married now, Like it's Jennifer Lopez Affleck. That's gonna be

a legal name. Oh I thought she just changed it to Affleck. Maybe she did an Affleck now, Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But she's Puerto Rican and Puerto Rican, so you know there's that connect to and you know she's successful and happy. So I'm happy for her. And I'm sorry I was just being I was just being a little facetious. Um, I'm sorry for being late as well. You guys. It is five am in um Hawaii right now, and if it wasn't for one of our producers calling me,

I would have slept until ten am. So, um, I just wanted to go ahead and say I apologize. Um, but Mary, it's good to see you. It's going to meet you. Um, I've got a question you. And this is a super off topic and this is me just being a ridiculous person right now. Didn't you just run for like Miss Petter puert Tariko or something like that. Yeah? I did. Yeah, I was competing in Miss World Puerto Rico. Sweet and uh did you look around and see Jennifer

Athleck competing in it? Because I'm sure you didn't. No, I did not. That's awesome. I mean, come on, how did it go? Can you tell us a little bit about It's good? Yeah? I mean, so I had done pageants here. I was in Miss Maryland, USA, um, and compete at Miss USA, and I thought that I was done with pageants once I decided to do Bachelor because it was like, Okay, reality TV and patents don't really go together, so I'm probably not gonna do this again.

But so many people from Puerto Rico, since that's where I'm originally from, where like you should come compete here, please please please represent us all this stuff? And I was like, you know, what maybe I'll just give it one more shot. So, yeah, I went and competed for Miss Weld Puerto Rico. Ended up top seven, so it went well, and uh yeah, honestly, I'm I'm really happy with how it went because I learned a lot, grew a lot, you know, and I got to spend a

lot of time being back home pretty much. So it's cool. Nice. Um, yeah, Puerto Rico. I've heard a lot of good things. I've never really been out there for myself to visit, but I've heard from a lot of friends who have been there that it's an incredible place. Oh you should You and Caitlin would love it. Well, one of these days maybe, Um, Jared, how's it going over there? By the way, I'm sorry that I was late. I just wanted to apologize for that. Oh you're fine, as you can hear Lois is barking

in the background. Dawson was crying earlier. It's just conse nice. Well, Caitlin is sleeping four ft away from me, and she's got air PUDs, and so I don't think he's gonna be able to hear me, fortunately, thank god. Well, you know, Lois is just always freaking out, um. Yes, and of course, uh, like we talked about earlier, you want to catch up with Mari um and I want to talk more about your experience being Miss Puerto Rico because that's freaking so cool.

And I've been to Puerto Rico and I love that place so much. But we do have uh once again hot topics jump into um. So my question for you guys because Ben Affleck like we I went on the tangent all right, cool, I get it, like I'm a big j LO and Ben Affleck plan. What can I say? But my question to you guys is they got married in Vegas. So, Mari, would you ever marry Kenny in Vegas?

I feel like that would be such a I mean, granted, I've never met you either in person, but judging from Kenny, it feels like he would totally get married in Vegas. He totally would. He would. He's down for all the like unheard of ideas and stuff like that. I don't think I would. I think I do like the courthouse thing and just not tell anyone, But I don't know about Vegas. Well, isn't that kind of what happens in Vegas? You get? All right? I'm gonna be I'm gonna sound

really stupid. It's not. Is it an annulment? What am I thinking of? Lopement? You're thinking of a lopement? Lopit? Thank you? You get eloped in Vegas? Is that kind of the same thing as going to the courtroom? Yeah? Kind of. I don't know. I just I'm not sure about the whole like they do the impersonators and like the weird themes and like, I don't know, that's not my style, that's not your style. You don't want you don't want Elvis Pressly to marry you guys, is what

you're saying. No, I don't sorry. Could you imagine if Elvis married Jlo and Ben Affleck? Could you imagine being a JL just being like next in line? Yeah, no, that would be crazy. I don't even know. I mean, if I'm trying to put myself in that situation, like, what would I do? I just see them walk in, I'd freak out. I would freak out too. Well, so it's not quite what it's not quite well Ben and Jen, Ben and Jen does that sounds so good? That sounds

so good. A benefits not quite what Beneford did. But my brother just got married last Saturday, last weekend. He proposed to his girlfriend on a Friday. They got married on a Saturday. And while they didn't go to like a traditional Vegas chapel with like Elvis getting married, they're marrying them, they did like have to do it all super quick, and so they like went to this little chapel and got their marriage license, and um, it was some guy that they had never met. His name was Tom.

He was good. He kept calling himself Peeping Tom. It was a little strange, Um, but it was. It was Tom marrying me. It was so much. It was the Peeping Tom thing kind of freaked me a little bit, but it was great. He just, you know, he had no connection to the bride of the groom, but he still liked it his little thing, and um kind of went on his way. So I could see like doing the whole Vegas wedding chapel thing, as long as it

wasn't like an Elvis or I don't know, something like that. Yeah, something like that, A little more casual, a little more typical. I would say it would be my style maybe, unless you're like the biggest I was fan in the world who once I was marrying them, you know, could you imagine? Don't? My goodness, it makes a great story. What's the deal with? Um? You and Kenny right now? So you guys are engaged obviously, but like, is there any wedding planning going on? Um?

So I just started thinking about the wedding planning and I'm already stressed out. I'm like, there's so much to do. Where do I start? And then I had this big deal onea yesterday. I was like, are you supposed to do the venue first? Are you suppys do the guest this first? But it feels weird to you the guests this first? But how do I know what kind of venue I want if I don't know how many people

are going to come? Like, I don't know, It's just it's a lot, right Well, I mean Jared is gonna guy to ask for that because he's kind of been in that same situation at some point right here, Well, wedding planning, Yeah, it's listen, don't stress over it. It's you know. I was actually listening to a podcast about a guy dying and uh, he said on his deathbed, he was like so much wasted time, which is quite sad when you really think about it. I know, listen,

hold on. There's a moral to this story, which is on It's a sad story, but on your deathbed, you the last thing you want to say is so much wasted time. So my advice to you, Mary is to not stress over that you're If you guys do end up getting married, which sounds like you are, which is fantastic, don't stress over wedding planning. Oh my are you guys? I mean we might as well just dive into it right now. So you're you're not engaged? Correct? Oh my god,

you are engaged? Oh my god. Well, first of all, that's right. Okay, so you guys are engaged, but you have not like really specifically talked about wedding planning until right now. You're just getting into it. Yeah. Yeah, because with the whole pageant and everything, I was like, well, you can't be married if you're going to compete in a mispageant, so we have to wait until afterwards to find out if I win or not. And then since I didn't win, now we can actually start planning and

you know, doing all that kind of stuff. So that wouldn't you rather be in a Mimsis pageant? Anyways? Yeah? You know, I'm not too sure. I think I'm done. It's just it's a lot of work. Yeah. Well, I've heard Kalen talk about it a little bit too. She hasn't been like there any like international stuff, but obviously in missed North Carolina, and she always have mentioned how stressful and how time consuming and how all of that stuff it is. So I can definitely, um, at least

empathize with you a little bit there. But that's good that now it's it's over and so now you guys are planning and now you're gonna make the guest list before everything else. But I do want to say, um, watching Bachelor and Paradise last season, you guys were definitely one of my favorite couples because it just seemed like

you two, um, you just you guys. You guys seem win more natural around each other than a lot of people, and it was like, you know, you weren't forcing anything, and there obviously we're a little bit hiccups along the way, but like what good love story doesn't have if you hiccups along the way. Anyways, you know I agree, Well, thank you. It's nice to hear that because everyone's like, oh, my favorite couples are the ones that got together day

one and stay together. That's so boring. Come on, I know that's real life either, Like, in real life, relationships aren't like that. So you know, I'm a big fan of our story too. Exactly. People seem to forget that in real life. There are issues that people face in regular relationships, and it's not just like they got together day one and that there together day thirty five. It's like, come on, let's let's have a little bit of realism with exactly. Yeah, um, but no, I respect that. I

love watching you guys, Kenny. I always told Kalen whenever when every Kidney came on the screen, I was like, that's the hottest man I've ever seen in my entire life for that guy, because he's like a pretty good looking man. Thank you. Yeah, I think so too. It looks good at the table. Oh nice, nice, Well, don't tell myself have a shirt on back from I know we did. We did the news interview thinking for this charity event that we're doing, so we came straight from that.

So that's why he's what's it's for special Olympics? Oh very nice. What are you guys doing? They're doing a duck derby. Every year they released like a million ducks into the Chicago River and each duck has a good number on it. So you purchased a duck, you donate to get a duck, and whoever's duck wins, like gets the end first wins like a new car or something like that. Oh, that's so cute. That's awesome that you

guys are a part of that. Yeah, we love Social Olympics. Well, Jared, do you want to get into this more of these topical headlines for us? Yeah? So, uh, Maria, you're a Kardashian fan at all? Um, you know what, I not the show. I don't keep up with the show, but I am a huge fan of the family in general. So we talked about the Kardashians a lot here because we're dating podcasts and you know, it's just two guys

talking about Kardashians stuf. You know, it's a little juicy, especially like apparently this new show and Hulu is really good. Ashley Craves watching every new episode. I think it just ended, but like every Thursday they dropped a new episode, and she said, how much in the news show is better? Anyway, there's news coming out that have you heard about this Tristan and Chloe drama that's going on? Yes, I have.

Do you know exactly kind of what's going on, because I'm still a little confused because I never know what's happening in real time or what's being aired on the show that actually had happened six months ago. So they were they're having another baby via surrogate, right, correct. I just want to explain this for the listeners in case they're not up to par Alright, So, Chloe, So Tristan Thompson,

NBA player, dated Chloe Kardashian. They had one kid together, Okay, then he cheated for like the second time, several times. This guy's cheated on. She broke up with them, then they got back together. Then it was announced that Tristan and Chloe were having another baby via surrogate. Well, you skipped a step there, because I got much together. After they got back together a second time, it came out that he had also had another child, like a couple

of months prior with someone else. Oh god, yeah, yeah. And then I'm also still a little confused about what their status is right now, Like I know that they're having this child, which is due supposedly like any minute now, but they're not dating and as of late, he was in Greece partying with some other chick, like a few nights ago. All right, here's Ashley a quick recap. Ready,

she knows everything to say that. You obviously don't listen to me and I talk because I'm very confused because sometimes when you explained the Kardashian Oh my god, can you believe what happened with was lally interested last week? And you were like you, I told you the whole thing, but you also said that it was last week on the show, but it happened back in December, so this is all real time? Yes, okay, was breaking on instag Graham last week breaking on Instagram? Got it? Okay? So

what is the status between Tristan and Chloe right now? Well, they apparently hated each other as of you know, December and on. But she why are we talking about December? It's July. This is what confuses me because the show wrapped, like the show is in delayed time. It's just like six months delayed. That's what the show time or is it real time? In real time? We just found out in real time that this baby is do that was implanted in the surrogate in November? But when did Chloe

find out that Tristan cheated on her in December? And when was the surrogate planted November? Okay, but why is it just coming out now because they're just announcing that the mean because the baby's about to be born. This is my point. You're going to have a baby be born and be like and they have They're like, okay, we're going to explain the situation now. They're like, they're like, now we will explain the situation because Chloe's about to have a new baby. But this was a secret for

like six months. Yes, got it? Okay, this is that was the because you understand the drama here is that the surrogate was riding it a month before Chloe found out that Triston was cheating again. Yes, of course bad timing. So my question, so there are they're not together anymore? No? Do you know like she took him back twice after cheating ship and now well, I mean maybe one big time.

But do you know that before the other baby, before True was born, literally Chloe found out that Tristan had cheated on her a day or two before True was born. True is the baby between Chloe and triesting, Yes, the one that already is like three. So what's up with this man and having horrible timing that I don't understand? How are you so bad? How are you saying? What's up with the bad timing? Why is Tristan? Why does he want? Does he keep getting caught right after like

you know, and it's amazing, it's crazy. Yeah, just doesn't care. Another thing is he loves the bed control. It's gone, okay, bye bye. Thank you so much for the recap. I really appreciate it. Actually, she knows all thing Kardashian. So my question for you, so, yeah, the bad timing thing is weird. How does this keep coming out? I think he just doesn't care. I think he probably strings Chloe along and it's like, oh yeah, it's fine, I'll be

there for you. We're going to have a family. And then like the next day he's like whatever, and he does whatever he wants. That's what it seems like, because I mean, the baby is about to be born and he's out partying with other girls in grease right now. So so he's in Greece right now, partying with other girls. Yeah, literally like two days ago, I think it was. This guy seems like a douche bag. Why is Chloe continuing

to get back together with him? I don't know. I mean I've read online that people were like, Oh, she doesn't care, she just wants to have her she wants her kids to have the same parents, and it's like more that kind of thing. But I don't, I don't know. Yeah, I obviously get that you want to try to stick together for the kids, But my god, at some point, is it even healthy for the family if the mom and dad are constantly fighting and the dad is always cheating.

I mean, of course, yeah, no way. Imagine when they get older, they're mega famous, they're going to see all this stuff about their parents. I was gonna say, let's be honest, it's not because they're gonna have a regular childhood anyways, you know what I mean. But not not to not to like give a pass to Tristan because he sounds like a kind of a diuchebag, But it does seem like these kids are kind of destined for

a lifetime of that. We're like, we're never really gonna have any idea of what it's going to be like, because they're like the most uber famous family of all time, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean there's no way to sell to them. Really well. My question to you guys is do you think because this begs the question, Chloe keeps going back to Tristan, and even in this article I was reading from uh E News, she mentions that she has zero doubt that

Tristan will step up after the second baby arrives. And it's like, how can you have zero doubt? I mean, maybe he's a great father. I'm not denying this, but it's pretty clear that he's not a good partner. So I questioned to you guys, is do you think you could ever get back together someone after you found out

that they were cheating on you? You know what, now, I say no, And I've actually been in that situation before, and um, I didn't have definitive proof in the beginning, and so I took him back and then of course it kept happening, and I was like no, it's like my parents divorced due to that, and I was like, I'm not going to stand for this, and no, any any partner who cheats on their partners, like low level to me, So can I ask you if you're willing

to share, obviously, and only if you're willing to share, how did you find out that it was happening? So the first instance was actually we were at like a what is that called a house swarming party for a mutual friend, and um, I actually ended up leaving, going to bed early and found out the next day through like this first Oh he hooked up with so and so while you were gone, no proof, nobody saw it,

nobody heard it, and of course he denied it. So I'm like, Okay, maybe people are making it up, maybe they saw wrong, maybe people were drunk, you know, excuses. Um, so yeah, that's how that happened. And then how did you end up confirming that happened or was it always just the I got feeling that you had? No I actually ended up talking to the person the girl that they said yeah, oh god. Yeah. We were together at that point for like six months, so pretty early on.

And well, for the record, I too would not take anyone back I think you did. I mean, I, I, like Mari, have made that mistake in my early ages. But man, being cheated on is literally just one of the worst things ever, like it just it sucks for them, It sucks for you, It sucks for the other person that they cheated on you with, Like it sucks for everyone involved. It's like, why would you just not just don't do it. It's so much easier to not have to. I think for me personally, it would be so hard

to get over. It would be so hard to get that thought out of my mind, you know, just even thinking about them being intimate with someone, kissing someone. And then furthermore, every time they go out without me, there's to that trust and it's going to be in the back of my head, a little voice saying to happen before it can happen again. Uh so that would be really and then it would just cause resentment and it

would cause me being angry at them. I could see it play out right in front of me, even if I thought, oh I can move past it, we'd be okay. Yeah. And you because even after that relationship, like it still affects you, because I mean I had tried to like talk to other people after that, and that was still always in the back of my mind, like, oh, what if he's going to do the same thing. But if he's talking to other people like it it sticks with you all. I mean, now I'm a much better place,

don't have to worry about that. But yeah, no, I don't have a lot of deal breakers, but cheating is definitely number one. Have you ever been cheated on? I feel like you have not been cheated on in your life? No, I mean technically, like my ex girlfriend like kissed another

guy one night when she was out. It was like he pretty much he kissed her and then it was like this awkwardness where she like it was like maybe like a good couple of seconds where they kissed, and then she was like, what the hell am I doing? So it was like it wasn't really cheating, you know. I mean it was like a such a like a quick mistake. Okay, that's a good question as well. Would that constitute is cheating? So I was just gonna say

everyone's definition of cheating and what's acceptable it not? It's different, right, Like I don't know because from I remember, she was so upset, told me the truth. She was very honest with me, um, and she told me exactly what happened. I believed her that this guy, douchebag McGee, uh, like they were drunk at a party were you know, in college, and he leaned into as her and then she like kind of didn't. She was pretty honest that like she kissed him back for like a second and then immediately

was like what the hell am I doing? And then of course like cry hysterically. And we were dating for a couple of maybe like a year at this point. So, UM, I don't know if I would really constitute that is cheating because it was accounts. I don't know, what do you guys think, Well, I'm just trying to put myself in your in your position, I do think it counts

as cheating. I will say though, if someone approached me like I don't even want to say Kalin because I don't even want to put that image in my head. Like let's say I was dating someone and they came to me and said, exactly what you just said happened to them. I that's like, I respect the fact that they did it and they came and told you right away.

And Marie's case, it sounds like there wasn't like ownership of their actions, and that's what would really piss me off, where it's like, you know, they're dodging that what what what might have happened? Um this whole Tristan and Thompson and Chloe heard ashion thing, didn't Tristan like deny it for the longest time, and it's like, look like, if I'm if I'm going to get over this shitty situation, I need you to own up to what you did. And if you don't own up to it, then I'll

never get over it. So like, just tell me the truth and then we'll work on for giving each other for it. But like, if you're denying it like I am not, there's not in a million years while I ever get over this exactly. No. I mean I also think it's like insult to injury because not only did you cheat on me, but now you're lying to me about it. That just makes it ten times worse because

now the trust is double broken. And back to whether or not that's cheating, I do think that kissing someone else is cheating because if not, that kind of opens the gateway in my mind for oh well, we maybe became a little bit more intimate than kissing, but it was just for a second and then I stopped it and I felt bad, you know. But it's also so hard because I've I guess, I guess technically speaking, but then you're labeled as a cheater, like that small instance,

you're a cheater. It's hard because man, that's such a it's such a shy labeled to have on you. You know, like don't do it, but like it's you're absolutely right, don't do it, obviously first and foremost, but also human beings just make mistakes. And I think about an instance like that, and I hate to harp on this one moment because you know it's but like anybody out there who just like has a second of weakness, and it's like and then they're like completely honest about it and

they tell you the truth and you believe them. And then even after that, like I think about myself now, granted I was in my early twenties, so of course I was like I'm so mad at you, blah blah blah, and I was upset, But like, I feel like now, at thirty three, i'd be able to see that's something

I think I'd be able to move on from. No way, I swear if it was like because if somebody leaned in and kissed like again, I don't even want to think about I guess Ashley in this instance, but I will for the sake of the podcast, if somebody leaned in. If Ashley was just like having fun then with her friends and she was just being Ashley and it was all fun and then some dude leaning and kissed her and she had like a second before she like pushed away.

M hmm. I don't know't be upset, but I think I could understand where it's like, yeah, you just had you had a moment, and like it wasn't you didn't want to do it. You weren't thinking about cheating. It's not like you know, you were looking at this person was like, oh man, like I wish I had them instead of Jared. I think it was just more of like a moment. I don't know, it's hard. I mean

I can understand that perspective. I think it's important for couples to have that communication, like in the beginning of the relationship, like what is cheating to you? What is not cheating to you? Because some people also there's like emotional cheating, and then there's like online cheating or like flirting with people on I don't know, on Twitter or into whatever. So there's so many different scenarios where it could be like where where is that line? I think

that's what people need to establish. Yeah, no, I agree, And Jared, I just gotta say, there's no way that actually was shed on you because you're you. I says, did you like lose ten pounds or something? You look better than everything? Just shaved your shaved your beard or something. Dude, Ashley said the exact same thing because I shaved yesterday and she's like, you look like that, you're you look you look again? This is great? Do you do you again?

It sucks like putting yourself in the sypothetical scenario. But but does having a kid kind of give um? Because like bringing back to clothe interest and is having a kid kind of like give not like like more of a leash to do things that are wrong, but like it gives you obviously more of a reason to be together. Right, So, like does having a kid like maybe like allow for more forgiveness on certain things? Um, that's probably does because

it's you know, inserting a kid just it does. It does change things obviously because it's no longer just you and this partner. It's it's you know, it takes the whole family dynamic to a new level because it's not just you two anymore. There's three of you, and it's

really this core group. Because I was thinking about it yesterday, you know, when um Ashley and I were talking about it, and when I think of you know, even even somewhat to this day, when somebody says your family, like who's your family, Like, well, my mom, my dad, my sister bought a batah blah. But then now and moving forward, it's gonna be like, well, who's your family, Well it's Ashley, it's Dawson, and that it's a big transition in my mind.

And because when I was I was talking to Ashley about this, When I think of my dad's family, I think of me. I think of my sister, I think of my mom. You know, I don't think of my grandparents, his parents, or his or my aunts and uncles. I think, like, no, we're his family, where his most important people in his life.

But then I think about like when he grew up with his sisters and brothers and like and then his parents, Like I don't know, there was obviously a switch in his life at some point saying you know this, there's still my family. But like when I'm describing my family. This is my family, and I feel like I'm going through that moment right now. Any Who so that does, I feel like probably would breed more forgiveness for both of us, because it is like this just core that

we don't want to disrupt. I've got friends that both men and women, who have either been cheated on or the relationship just wasn't a healthy one, but they kept going back and the reasoning was, oh, well, I want to keep my family together. The reasoning was because they don't want to affect the kid in a negative way. And I'm like, I mean, hey, I understand that, but

you also got to do what's right for you. But like, I don't know, I don't have a kid, so I can't really speak to that, but just from what the friends that I had that do and have been in those situations, it's always about like, well, no, even though this person cheated on me or did this to me, this is my family and I want to keep it together. Yeah. And Jared, you make a really interesting point too, because you're right like when I think of my family, I

think of my siblings and my parents. I don't think about my aunts and my uncles, And it's just really it's when you say that, it's like really interesting because like my brother just had a baby, so now I'm an uncle, but like my uncle's I would never like obviously they're your family, but like you never think about them as such, at least like your core nucleus of

a family. I don't know if that's so interesting to think about, yeah, because I mean, as long as you guys keep going, like your core nucleus family is calin, you know. And then if you guys have kids one day and that changes things, you know, and Mary same thing, Like you guys your wedding planning with Kenny right now. And so I feel like there comes a transition in all our lives, luckily hopefully knock on wood, where we're able to you know, have a life with someone and

share life with someone. But that changes a dynamic of things. Yeah, And I don't think you necessarily have to be married for that to change, because for me, I actually kind of noticed this once I moved to Chicago, um and I had to fill out you know, like change all my residency stuff, medical stuff and all that, and I started putting Kenny as my emergency contact and it's a

big deal. Yeah, Mary, let me ask you this. When you when you put Kenny as your emergency contact, do you have to look up his phone number or do you have it memorized. I have to look it up. I know the first three digits are seven a weight. But Calen memorized my phone number like six months into us dating, and I like, it really kicked my button to gear and I was like, holy crap, I gotta memorize it. And I go in and out of knowing it and not knowing it, but generally I get it,

Like I get it like eighty percent a time. But like, when's the last time you re memorized that you needed to memorize a phone number? Doesn't really happen anymore? You know you always have your phone on you? Yeah? No, But it's scary because every once in a while I think about, like, oh my god, what if I get stranded and my phone dies and there's no one around. What do I do? Like, I know my mom's phone number, but that's it. She lives in Germany right now, so

she's not going to help me. She's not much. She still puts her dad as emergency contact. It's a sore subject. He's a doctor, so kind of makes sense. I'm kidding. Yeah, he is a doctor. I get I own a coffee shop. It's quite different. All right, Well, we do have another hot topic that I want to get into, and then we do want to catch up with Mari. First, we're gonna take a short break. All right, welcome back to

help I suck at dating. We have Mari here. So, Marie, like we were talking about before, you were Miss Puerto Rico. That sounded really done. During that eating for Miss Putoca, I didn't win, but were competing, Okay, so you were also so you have a lot of steak in. Is it Miss America? No? What is it? Because you're also your marketing director? Uh? And you were were you were missing? So yes, you were competing for Miss Puerto Rico. But if I'm very quickly, you were also Miss Maryland. Is

that correct? Yeah? So it was Miss Maryland USA. So I competed. Okay, Is Miss America a thing or is that something different? No? It is. There are two different pageants though, So there's Miss America and Miss Usa. Okay, got it? And you were competing in Miss Usa. Correct? Yeah? And you were Miss Maryland and you're competing for Miss Puerto Rico. But how did you How were you able to compete for two different I mean, I know Puerto Rico is what is it exactly considered? It's not a state,

but it's a territory as of right now. But they're completely unrelated. So I was Miss Maryland back in UM and then I competed for Miss World Puerto Rico. So two completely different things. Oh, very cool, Miss World. That's insane. Yeah, I've got a question for you more if you were to compete in Miss America and it could have been the same for Puerto Rico as well. Um. And the only reason I asked this is because Kaitlin and I

talked about it sometimes as well. If there was a talent portion, which there is not in Miss U, I say, what would your talent have been? I would dance? Yeah, I like to dance, YEA what type of dance? Um? I mean I do like ballroom stuff, salsa metting it, you know, like the Latin stuff. Um. But I did a little tiny bit of like ballet, like intro ballet, So I guess I could also maybe do like a contemporary type of thing. Do you and Kenny ever go dancing. No,

Kenny cannot dance at all. So because you guys, I imagine you. I could totally imagine you guys as like Mr and Mrs Smith just like having this sexy sultress Latin dance together. Like, kid, you're such a beautiful couple, and like you're so good looking and just like you guys look like you'd be the stars of an action movie. So I could totally see that, and it's I need that to happen. So I really just need Kenny to learn how to dance so you guys can do this together. Well,

the good news is that he's open to learning. He told me, you know, if I were to like sit down with him and teach him that he would do it. But if there's any ever any like karaoke, like dancing at a party. He didn't want to dance when we're filming Paradise, Like he's so against it. I think it's because he knows that he's not very good at it. That's pretty funny. I remember so my brother who I

mentioned earlier, who got married. He said that his wife's one stipulation was that if she marries him, he has to dance whenever she wants to dance, and my brother is like the most introverted, like shy person, and to see them dancing on the night of their wedding was hilarious because my brother is not a dancer at all and like this girl and she I love her to death. She's a great girl. I'm so happy they're married. Um, she just has zero shame, like just dances her heart

out and it's the most respectable, most admirable thing. And then to see my brother trying to keep up with her is like one of the funniest things because he's like holding true to his promise of like trying to dance with there. But like that so sweet. It's very sweet. It's very sweet, and I'm very happy for them, but like, you can't, you can't keep up with this girl. She's like a dancing machine. And my brother, who is not a dancer and has never rhythm whatsoever at all, is

like trying to keep up with her. And it's like that's and it's funny too. I was sitting on the couch the whole time because like we're you know, and we were like at this weird club and it was like a post party and I'm like sitting on the couch watching my brother dance, and I'm like, I'm such a schmuck just sitting here watching my brother who can't dance dance and I should be up there dancing with them. But it is what it is. I don't know. Dancing

is tricky. If you don't have it, you don't have it. And I one of the people that don't have it. I mean, it kind of worries me. I mean, he can slow dance, so our wedding will be a problem in that regard. But I would love to do, like you know what I mean, we will do of this sort of Smith style dance, like a surprise performance kind of thing. But I don't know. We're gonna have to start working on it now. I gotta admit I'm shocked Kenny can't dance because he seems like he's got rhythm

just looking at him. I great dance. No. No, there's a reason his favorite genre of music is yacht rock, and it's because you don't really need a lot of rhythm to enjoy it rock. Yeah, what the hell is that? You know? Like Jimmy Buffett, like Margaritaville type of listening type of stuff, Yeah. I think it's because Kenny looks like he could be in a Magic Mike or Chip and Dale show. I think that's why Dean and I just assume he knows how to give a lap dance,

you know what. He has not given anyone that will be his task tonight or today. Well that's awesome. I'm glad we are assisting in that department. Uh. So you guys just recently celebrated your one year anniversary because you left Paradise together. So how has the past year been and did you guys do anything for your anniversary? Yeah, the past year has been kind of crazy. So we got engaged how to be a secret for like three ish months, um, and ever since we were able to

be public, I spent most of my time here. I was going back and forth. I lived in Maryland at the time, so it was kind of a long distance for a few months, and then around December, I was here basically all the time. Uh. And we were at that point just waiting for my lease end, which ended in February of this year, so um as soon as it ended. Actually, his lease ended like two weeks before minded,

so it was weird coincidental timing. Um. But our leases ended them then we were able to sign a new lease on a new apartment here in Chicago, so moved in right away and it's been great. I mean, I ended up signing up to do the paget because he told me that I should. I just I don't know. I was hesitant, and I was like, I don't know, I'm going to spend so much time on this, I'm going to be away lots of money, blah blah blah. And he was like, no, if you want to do it, like,

I'll support you, I want you to do it. So um, I agreed to do it, and then I spent like five months traveling between here in Puerto Rico. So yeah, it's been a wild ride, but it's been nice. It's been cool to have someone that you just get along so well with and that everything's easy with. Yeah, that's good. I think one of the most important things that a Bachelor specific couple can do after their time on the

show together if they really wanted to work. I think moving in together within the first year is pretty paramount, you know what I mean, Like, you guys did it well because you guys waited what five or six months or whatever, it is. Um so that what you can decide that you actually like each other and then moving in together is like, that's that's honestly the best. And if you guys had it moved in together after your leases were up in February or whenever you said, I

think that would have been a big mistake. So kudos to you guys for making it work. Thank you, thank you. I agree, Yeah, I mean it was a little nerve racking because he had never lived with a woman before, I lived with a partner or really ever been in like a serious relationship. Um, So I was like kind of nervous in that regard, just thinking like, oh my gosh, what if he doesn't like living with someone, what if you want to do by himself like out? But it's

been good. Were there any adjustments when you guys moved in, Like was he a slob and you're a clean freak or the opposite or anything like that. No, I mean I think we're both pretty clean. I think the only thing is I shed hair like crazy. So the bathroom there's usually always a lot of hair on the floor sogging. Oh, I know, it's terrible. Um And for him, I mean I got rid of all of his kitchen stuff because it just was not I love to cook, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen and I need

nice tools. So I got rid of all his kitchen stuff and got, you know, brought over all my nicer stuff, and uh, yeah, I think that's pretty much it. I got a question for you guys, because I actually and I will not really, but we had a differing opinion about how often one should wash the sheets because when I was living alone, I washed it a certain amount of times, and then when I lived with Ashley, she's found out and she said, excuse me, how many times

have you washed your sheets? And I said this many times, and she's like, you're disgusting. And so I have learned since hand how many times you should wash sheets per weeks or months or so on and so forth. To my question to you folks, without me telling you my timeline, how often do you wash your bed sheets? I think you're washing ours like every two weeks or so. I would say, Calin changes our bed sheets once a week, but pre Kalin, I was changing my bed sheets twice

a year. I would say, Okay, I'm not that bad. I was changing it probably once maybe a month. It might take me like five weeks to wash my sheets. You're gonna tell me, you're jed, you're some weeks after moving out of the house. You there wasn't one year where you only change his sheets twice, because I know, I'm okay, I'm sure on average maybe it was once a month, but come on, there had to have been

one year where you only changed them twice. There might have been stretches where it was like maybe there was a couple of months in there. But it's also because it's only like, well, okay, there's also you know, we're all in relationships. Obviously we're very happy, which is nice.

Nobody else shares the bed. But I'm sure we've been in moments where we've had one bed and we maybe have been single, and there may have been more than one person in a bed with us over the course of months, and so of course you've got to make sure that like that's sanitary. But like, if there's been times and there was many times where it was just me for months on end, that it's like it's only like I'm only just sleeping in my own filth, So

what's the point of washing? Right? Well, also, my big thing too, is I'm a I'm not a night shower. I'm a morning shower. I cannot shower before bed, and so my similar to what you're kind of mentioned there, Jared, is I don't really see the point of cleaning my sheets when I'm gonna wake up in the morning and clean myself. Anyways, I guess that's a good point. It also brings to mind I had this huge debate. Oh

that is. One thing that we debated on actually was the bed sheets, because Kenny uses a top sheet, like the flat sheet underneath the comforter, and I've never done that, and it bothers me. I remember doing like a poll on Instagram and it was so fifty fifty and everyone's like, oh, you use Yeah, people use the top sheet so that they can wash their sheets less, change the sheets less.

It's the answer that I got, Like I always just I was just on the top sheet was like a like a like a thinner blanket that you used to keep you oh, or of decoration that works to kind a minute, We're just we're talking about the top sheet that you sleep, So it's like the sheet that goes over you and then you pull the comforter over that right, correct? Has that not? That's just not a thing I thought

that was normal. I thought it was like a second blanket that like, if it's hot, you use the top sheet, and if it's getting cold, you put the comforter on you. Yeah, that's what I always assumed. Yeah, but I guess a lot of people's reasoning for using it, besides just I think they're supposed to do that is because they don't want to have to wash the entire bed set often, so instead they only washed the top sheet. Here's a better question for you, Dean. So, Dean, do you sleep

with the comforter? Yeah, we have a comforter and a waited blanket. Way blanket is the best thing ever way to blanket. So nice. So when I ask you, you know how many times you washed the bed sheets? Did I include the comforter? Kalen? Oh, are you talking about me? Pre kalin Uh? I don't think I never was. But I use a top sheet. That's why I never washed my comforter. Yeah, I don't think I ever washed. I

don't think. I don't think I was. I don't think I was scared to put the comforter in the washing machine because it was so big. Yeah, get dry. I don't have that kind of money, you know what I mean. So I really pre kaling, especially pre kalin um. And it's funny too, because we have like five sets of bed sheets for our bed because like Caalen is always like cycling through them and cleaning them and stuff. And

there's like three of the colors. I absolutely hate if it's not like a white bed set, I hate it. And we have like this weird like dark blue and every time she puts it on, she like she like comes and like pulls me into the room and she goes look at her new bed sheets. And every single time, I'm like, Healing, these are hideous, and she's like so excited about him. I'm like, these are the most disgusting

bed sheets ever seen my life. Like these are already dirty to me, just even though you just pulled them out of the washing machine. Um. But yeah, I do. I do appreciate her doing that because otherwise I wouldn't have changed my bed sheets for a long time. No way, it would still be once every six weeks for me. Oh my goodness. That's okay, all right, Well that's gonna do it. For this week's episode of help I Suck at Dating. Like we said, we do have a podcast

coming out. In a podcast episode coming out on Thursday, we were going to take your calls. That's right, no more listener emails. Instead, we're gonna do listener phone calls, So make sure you tune in on Thursday. We're gonna have three help By Suck at Dating callers call into us. Mari is going to stick around for that podcast episode, which is fantastic, So it's gonna be Dean, myself, Marie

answering your your phone calls. But as of right now, Mari, thank you so much for joining us and catching up, you know, on your life. What's going on going over the hot topics, most importantly, what was happening with Ms Mrs Jennifer Affleck Uh. Even though Dean is very much tired of me talking about this affleck trying situation, I'm not tired about you talking about it. I just think that sometimes you get stuck in a situation where you could you could lively if we don't interrupt you, you you

could literally go for hours and hours. It's just because I also love the fact that he is just like he's just like he's dating like the queen, not just a queen, like it's j Lo. It's it's kind of like Pete Davidson and Kid Kardashian a little bit, you know, where it's like, dude, that's like, she's such a queen and like Ben's awesome, don't me wrong. So it's Pete Davidson, but it's just like so obscure Ben. For as much Ben, for as much of a superstar as he is, he

does seem like he's just like a regular guy, you know, totally. Oh, I freaking love it. Like there's this one clip where he's walking like he's like smiling at a fan. Somebody walks out. He was, oh, yeah, thank you, and then as soon as he turns away from the fan, he goes from smiling to like dead straight face. He's like and it's the most relatable moment where he's like, oh, thank you so much and just watch and I'm like, oh my god, that was the most amazing thing I've

ever seen in my entire life. Annie, who thank you so much for joining us this week on help by Second Dating Dune in next week, where hopefully we all suck just a little less hollow help By Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast m HM