Down the Rabbit Hole with Teddi Mellencamp

on I Heart Radio as well. And we have a guest coming on who is starting a new our Heart Radio podcast, which you should obviously tune into as well. I guess we'll just tease that. Yeah, tell them, tell us about that. I can't tell you about if I'm going to tease it. Okay, you're right, Jared, listening with you? Man? How are you? Things are good? How? How are things with you? Dean? How are things with Klin? You guys are I guess this is the boyfriend girlfriend you guys

are in a relationship. Yeah, this is the first episode that we've recorded post Bachelor in Paradise. Yeah, so I can finally be a percent transparent on everything. Yeah, why don't we talk about that all episode? Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me. It makes kind of good sense to me too. Yeah, So how is relationship life? I mean it's been good. Um, well, obviously, like we've that sounds promising, it's good. We're taking one out of time.

It's funny because like we've obviously been known to be in a relationship for a long time, Like we got sniped pictures a couple of times when you're in Italy and then like on planes and then in Venice, and so it's like it's been you're just so famous, we're like really freaking famous, and it kind of was, you know, everybody wants to take pictures of you, but it's pretty crazzy.

It's pretty challenging sometimes when you're just this famous, popular and like everyone cool taste of you, but you don't have that many tastes to give out. No, you're only one man, only one lollipop. I only be like so many times, you know what I mean, Yeah, until you get to the center, right and then you find out that nothing is actually there, Yeah, and then you have no heart. But no, we can finally be in a relationship,

which is great. I can finally like, well, we can finally start posting each other on our stories, like when we're hanging out. Do you have any videos old videos that you took when you guys were supposed to be

a secret couple. We're going to post And I've been meaning to do this actually, just like running through all of my old UM photos and like posting them on my story tell the old dial tone here on help I second danting and like catching people up on what what we've been doing before we could really share anything. But I have not really got around to that yet. Maybe I'll do it, maybe I Well, we saw on the end of Bachelor in Paradise the after credits you did a MTV Cribs style of your van, which it

wasn't a very long episode. It's a small space. Yeah, it was getting bigger van or something. No, I think the van is great. I'm just saying, you know, it's probably what hundred how many square feet is your van? I almost gave yeah, I almost said a hundred and fifty and as the words were leaving my mouth, I'm an idiot. Um. That video originally was like three or four minutes long. We cut it down for a minute.

And actually I didn't see the credits. Uh. I saw what she posted on her story, which I assume the same same thing, right, and so it's quite you're very crafty. You made those drawers. Do you say drawers or drawings? It's eighty six square feet. By the way, how do you know that? I googled it, K how many cubic feet do we have? We're working with man, I gotta do some math on that. Just maybe check the height and then multiply the square feet by the height and

that gives its cubic feet. Because that's pretty That's an important thing, right, Like normal house, you've got like a ten foot tall ceiling, but in my van, it's a six ft tall ceiling, so the cubic feet is going to be less than a one normal forty eight foot square Well, would you say within the van world that your van has vaulted ceilings? I mean it's a high top. It's a very high top. Vaulted ceilings. I got and actually get like hindeli or something to hang from it. Um. Yeah,

so we did be a ceiling fan. We did the credits thing, which was you know that was a fun little that was like by the only word I said all Paradise Reunion van um, just like the red credits, Like I didn't really say anything the entire episode, you know, I don't know. Yeah, they didn't show you saying anything. I didn't. I didn't say anything. You really didn't know, Like I didn't really have anything to chime in on.

Like there was the whole Like obviously Blake was up there, I said in my piece with Blake, and then um, like Clay was on the hot seat, didn't air him from what I understand, and like Dylan was up there, Tasso was up there, Uh, Katie and Chris were up there. But like I'm not gonna like trip in and like say, like Jordan and Christian were fighting, I was like holding Jordan's I'm sorry I was holding Christian back a couple of times. I was like, just sit down, Like who cares,

No one cares to sit down. Don't fight him. You're not gonna fight him. Um. I was like very silent and actually was the first time in all four shows that I've done that I didn't have a hot seat. I don't know like if I should be offended or if I should be happy about that. Are you trying to say your old news now? It was just a weird feeling like I was cared about less this season. Why doesn't everybody care about me? Yes, I don't know. I'm used to being cared about. This is the first

time I haven't been cared about. Well, you are very cared about, to the point where I have a question for you, because I have been being asked this question for the past few days numerous times. So you wore a sweet, sweet salmon jacket, and then it was very noticeable that you had a necktie on with a medallion that had a sea on it, and everybody is curious. Everybody in the world who's taking pictures of you, from Venice to Kelly, wants to know, Dean, did the sea

stand for Kalin? Well, first and foremost, it's called the bolo tie. I don't know what it's called the necklace with the medallion. It's a necklace, it's around your neck. It has a medallion. Um, but what you are in this case because it's called the bolot type? Blow got it? He learned something new. Every day was for Chris Harrison. And I don't know why anyone would think it was for anything else than that. Oh, I don't know, maybe for your girlfriend. Oh yeah, it's got double meaning for

her too. Yeah. So actually ordered to like the day of one for Chris for calin No, I ordered one that was like a sick big elk head with sweet huge antlers and it was like really large, and I was like, this thing is so cool and I want to wear it so bad, and it was like this

copper color is so sick. But then I got to see one as well as like this could be like a fun gesture to wear for Caylin obviously, and I brought both of them to the reunion um Hotel sweet that we were saying, and before the show, and like even at the very last second, I was like, this one's so cool, but this one so much sweeter. So I don't know which one to wear. So I'm gonna say I reserved the elk head for um a later time perhaps, But yeah, the sea was for Kylin. Um,

well that's so sweet. Yeah, I'm a pretty thoughtful guy. Well you can just wear the elk head. Uh maybe your wedding, shut up, maybe at the red carpet here in um Las Vegas. Yeah, And then you can give the back story. I think everybody would love to you. Although I did not bring it. Um, well, that proposed a problem obviously, right I did. I only brought really one outfit. So I'm just gonna be wearing the same

thing every single night, the shorts you're currently wearing. Um, I brought these inner pair of jeans that I wore last night that you'll see me in, um every night from here on out it Las Vegas? Are you going where your beanie all week? Um? I'm gonna wear my bucket hat that Calin actually got me from the Cayman Islands and I put my lucky feather in it. Lucky. Why is this feather lucky? I don't know. I just found it when I was in Utah and I just

called I dubbed it my lucky feather. From this point, for how long have you had this feather? A week? Has it brought you luck? Um? Actually, now I dislocated my shoulder on Sunday, I'd get rid of the feather, So no, it's been pretty unlucky. Um. So what else is happening since the show? So have you guys? You guys have been traveling a lot. Well, this is the first time I've seen Caylin since uh, like it two

weeks ago. Wait, so Vegas is we're currently recording in Planet Hollywood at Las Vegas, and this is the first time you're seeing Calin in two weeks something like that, maybe like ten or eleven days. So you guys certainly give each other, uh your individuality. Yeah, I mean I kind of encourage us to take our space from each other. She was so like I was in Los Angeles and we were like hanging out there. Obviously I was there for a couple of days. I think it was actually

after the reunion show. It could have been anyways. And then now that doesn't make sense timeywise, and then I drove out to Denver and like stopped in Utah to rock climb for a couple of days, went to dinner for a Broncos game, and then went back to you taught the rock climb for a couple of days. And obviously she's not gonna come with me on those trips. Why not, She's not gonna rock climb. She doesn't want to just sit in my van while we're out like

climbing rocks. There are other um adventures that she would like to go on that. You could bring her. Maybe not rock climbing, but she there's indoor rock climbing. That's a lot of fun for a couple. Yeah, but I'm not gonna drive my van to like an indoor rock climbing gym. Could be fun. You're not wrong. You want a double date. We could both go there. I've totally done. I've done it once. Very stressful on the forearms, in the hands. The good pump you get, it's a great pump.

I would love to see Ashley try to do that, and I would love to see Klin trying to do that too. I think could be hilarious. Yeah, until dumb, let's do it. Honestly, women are more often than not better rock climbers than men, just because the way that they're like their weight is distributed, and like their weight to power ratio is typically stronger than like a man's. Really sometimes I don't know anyways, our next adventure, we are so the vans in Denver. Now I fled to Egypt. Next,

I fled Egypt on Monday. What are you doing in Egypt? I just always wanted to go. Yeah, you're gonna go see the pyramids? Um so I'm going by myself to Egypt, and then I get back from Egypt, we are going to my best friend's sister's wedding in Hawaii where Caylin are going to that. And then when we get back from that, Caitlin's best friend is getting married in Arizona, so we're going to take the van from Denver to Arizona nice and do that. So it sounds like things

are going pretty well. I mean, yeah, I don't think that they're not going well. No, that's great, that's good to hear. We're all very happy for you, that's all I'm asking. Um, No, it's been good. Like I said before, it was it must be weird for you because you're in such a public relationship. But I know that you guys are still you know, you're still in the early

stages of dating. So I think, even for myself, we're you're always enquiring for more because it from a viewer standpoint, we've seen you guys go through so much already, Like a week in Paradise really isn't that long, but in that world, it is long. And then you left and then did this big, grand romantic gesture and won her back, and so I think everybody from an audience standpoints like, oh, yeah, they're they're going really strong. They are a solid relationships.

Not to say you guys aren't, but it's just still so early. It's funny to hear like how critical people are of like the things that I'm saying and doing in the relationship. Like Cayleen and I have been dating for two months and like, I haven't. I don't. I haven't fallen in love with her, right, And people on the internet are like, oh my god, he's such a dick. He doesn't love his girlfriend. And I'm like, I've been dating her for two months. Yeah, not to be a jerk,

I doubt she's falling in love with you too. She's she's way in love with me, and that makes sense actually, Like um, even like on the video that she posted when we finally, finally can announced yourselves as a couple.

In the last video, she goes like, that's when you fell in love with me, and I didn't respond and I was just like we were joking obviously, and people in the comments were like, oh my gosh, you need to find a man that tells you he loves you, etcetera, etcetera, and I was like reading those comments just because like it's funny to me to read them, and I'm like, I've we've been dating for two months. I don't think it's that strange that I'm not in love with her yet.

Then vice versa, she probably honestly really isn't in love with me. It's just like, it's it's so silly that people are like, especially sorry to interrupt you, it's really funny. Is the van thing? People are like, oh my god, Calin can't live in a van. She's not van of like equipped or like equipped to handle that. And my response to that in my head is always she's not

living in the van. Yeah, and she's not going to live in She has a very nice apartment in West Hollywood that she lives in and she like sometimes takes

trips with me in the van to places. Well. I guess the question is for you guys going forward, do you how long do you see yourself living in the van because this is a choice by you because you wanted to really experience that lifestyle and see what it was all about and travel, and so do you see yourself living in the van for a long center period of time or do you see this more of a short term over the next couple of months, and then most likely will be getting back into the normalcy of,

you know, living in an apartment in Los Angeles. I mean, it's going low enough to the point where I don't foresee it ending anytime soon. I probably will if I can make it till next June. That's great. That's kind of what I'm setting my sights on. But honestly, like, I don't have any reason to want to move back into an apartment. Do you ever not feel safe? I think my paranoia would take off, and I've got a gun to protect myself. Yeah, I don't think there's a

I don't think it's appropriate to talk about guns. It's not inappropriate. But I mean, I don't care if you want to get If you're listening to this and you're getting upset with me for owning a gun, um, that's very much your right to be upset with me. But also I hope you know that I went through the proper procedures to own the gun. It is a single uh handgun. It's not like the fully automatic rifles like that's where the gun of coursitions should be taken into account.

I'm all for gun ownership. I just I'm all for responsible gun ownership. And one thing, Dean, you remembery you saying how surprisingly easy it was for you to get that, And I think that's a comment on the state of our system, especially in the state of California. California in America might be the most difficult state to get a gun, and it was still incredibly easy. I think that's a problem.

Someone tweeted at me because they listened to Las Week's episode and they said something along the lines of they were shocked at how easy I made it sound because they were Canadian and how difficult it is to get a gun in Canada. Um. And like, I don't know enough about any of this stuff, like gun legislation or all that stuff to really have like a strong opinion of it. I do know that there needs to be things that need to be addressed and fixed, because obviously

you see all of this horrible, horrible things that happened. Um. But it's like I think that just because like I'm some super liberal progressive doesn't mean that I can't own a gun to protect myself here. No, oh, of course. And I was never alluding to that. I just met in terms of the overall theme of this podcast, But I don't think that's I don't think it's inappropriate to talk about because like it's it's life. You know, I have a gun. I'm not gonna lie about not having

a gun. I also think it's it's appropriate to talk about just because of the state of our our society right now in this country and how many mass shootings there are. I think there needs to be more conversation about gun control and the uh you know, possible changes that need to come within it um, even on a platform like help By such a Dating because unfortunately, you know, you see a lot of a lot of bad things overflowing into a lot of different areas of life today.

But we don't need to continue to talk about that, because I know this podcast is supposed to be an escape for a lot of people and having fun. Uh. So we do have a very special guest coming up uh that has a brand new I Heart Radio podcast that you will be able to listen to coming out this week. But before we talked to her, let's take a little break. Welcome back to Help I Suck a Dating live from Planet Hollywood, Loss Vegas. I love that

we say live, because it's definitely not right now. I say it too, we're living it now, but it's definitely not being broadcast live. It's always more fun to say live, as if I did the same thing at the top of the episode and I thought it back and I was like, what I say live, we're not live. It reminds me of when they're covering Times Square, what is

it the it's the whatever? The show on time for New Year's Eve, the New Year's Eve Rock And yeah, they're always like live from Times Square, And I think it's just it's cool to say. Anyway, moving forward, we have very special guests sitting with us on the couch I Planet Hollywood, um not recording live. We have Teddy Mellencamp joining us. Now you might know Teddy from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Teddy, thank you so much

for joining us. Oh thanks for having me of course. Congratulations. By the way, you were pregnant with your third child. Yes, you know, pregnant in Vegas. It's really it's really where it's at. Yeah, where else would you want to be. I woke up this morning, I'm like, why do I feel hungover? I haven't had one drink. I'm like, oh, it's just being in Vegas. There's breathing the air of everybody's second hand smoke. Well, last year we had Joanna

was here pregnant. Joanna was pregnant, yep, and now carrying on the tradition, Yeah, you know, I got to have one little heart baby coming around. Yeah, that's the only reason you hear, because you were pregnantic. I had to. They're like, oh, I gotta finish this. So you're on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and you're also starting a podcast with I Heart Radio. I'm starting a podcast about going down the rabbit hole? What does that mean? Okay,

So example, I'll start with you. So I watched Bachelor in Paradise, and so casually I'll like go onto y'all's Instagram and then I don't even know what happens, but I find myself forty five minutes later on like your Aunt's brother, Sisters, Dogs page, and I'm like, how did

I get here? And why do I care? So it's really about any kind of topic that's currently going on, digging deep and finding out all the information and then getting the specialists on to talk about very cool I like that, and how did you get involved with that? Because it's like, I don't know, it seems like a very interesting thing for me specifically, I've had this experience

when I first got my first motorcycle. I was like looking up motorcycle crashes, fatal motorcycle crashes, and then all of a sudden, I was watching like hummingbirds eating out right plan you go down the rabbit hole of YouTube, But like you know, it's just it's a very good it's a great concept because I realized it was something

that I actually do. Like I'll lay in bed at night, I'll be like, I'm just going to go to sleep, and then I'll start slowly and then I'll just have gotten into a deep situation and I'm like I need to know more, and then I like need to talk to doctors and specialist and somebody that actually does it so I can have every little crumb I don't I don't want to miss it. Is there anything that you want to learn more about? Specifically? Is there one thing

like this is why I'm starting the podcast. No, it's everything. I think that's the beauty of it. It doesn't matter if I'm watching reality television show or it's a serial killer, or it's about narcissism. I just want to know what kind of what's your favorite reality television show. There's a right answer here. I hate to say about its Bachelor Paradise. I know, I know it's like and now that you guys are here, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't. Well, I do watch my arts, like my season, because I've

watched all of the season. I actually used to be it used to be Bachelor for me, and then I just switched the last couple of seasons. I haven't done Bachelor's Bachelor. I can sense a little bit of nervousness for me right now. I just want you to know we're normal people. I mean, we're kind of a big deal. Well, I've already made all of my decisions and now it's just hard. Well, hey, it's an honor, honestly, it really is.

Um So, when does the podcast like come out? Have you been working on it or is it one of these things that's going to start pretty soon? It comes out Tuesday? Tuesday. Teddy Teapod Teddy Teapod love that name. So is it like spilling the tea? That's why Teddy Tea pod. You're getting the tea every week? You know I got it? Did you get that? My mind still just goes somewhere it shouldn't go. It goes to the tea bag, and and I know I shouldn't say. That

would be a whole another podcast. Honestly, there could be an entire episode. Well, my first podcast was all about swinging and open marriage and to sucking. Tell us about to I heard about the toast sucking. Oh I'm deep, and so apparently it's about somebody or shipping your feet. It's a it's a fetish. Yeah, can I can? I? I think it's the dominant factor. Can I ask you guys, do either of you suck toes or have you ever had it done? I've never done or sucked at all, neither.

But I do have this one person that consistently dms me anytime my foot is like in an Instagram and he goes, you've got some nice big feet. I guess they're a pretty normal size. No, I don't know. I got a message saying that this person would pay me fifty dollars for a photo of my feet, But did you send them? I did not. I haven't responded yet. Maybe I should I get a lot of show me more of those feet. And I'm like, come on, come on, man, like, I'm probably gonna put more pictures of my feet, and

now I feel weird about it. There's a complete website dedicated to showing your feet. Yeah, like, I'm sure if you typed in your name your feet and and here. Look we're not king shaman here, like, if you you're in defeat, that's fine. I'm not in feet. I'm sorry. Yeah, I have like hair on my big toes. Yes, I'm trying not to notice that you have sandals on right now. Mandals, I can't look. I just got my cut my two days ago. This is too close. I can't mandals ros

I think they're Harry look like topics. Yeah, the male body you want you want to bust you guys in your podcast. Because I feel like this is going pretty well. I feel like we can go down some rabbit hole. And honestly, I'm a litt selfconciou about putting my feet, like anywhere you can move those over away, just put

them away. I think that could be appropriate for us to speak about as well, because it's a dating podcast, Like let's say you're dating someone and then all of a sudden, you've been getting to get intimate with them, turns out their big toe suckers. Apparently, according to the Fetish Lady, you should express that you want it from the beginning because you want to find a partner that's also into us. So this is like this is well,

isn't so into it? It's like a make or break deal, like you have to suck toes otherwise you're not getting your I guess it gives you like the best. Oh well, relationships are all about compromise, you guys, almost ten years if my husband asked me to suck his feet, I'd be like, honestly, there's the dark. What if he wanted to suck your feet? Then I would think he was

a lunatic. Like no, I get if you like it, but I mean, especially now to mention it this late in the game, like now you're interested in my closet toe sucker for ten years, like you've just been waiting for the right moment to tell me. I guess it would depend finally, trust you, I gotta tell you secret. I guess it would depend on the level of toe sucking, Like do they want to suck for like five minutes, or they want a little taste. If they want to taste,

that's worrisome. I don't think it's about taste, well, not like taste in general. But I'm using it as to describe the nerve endings. But I think it's if you want to suck someone's toes, where do you? What is that? How does that appeal to you? I want the listener's opinion. If you have some weird fetish or if you've dated someone with a weird fetish, email us at I Suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com. We want to

hear your weird fetishes. If it sucking toes, if it's what's what's the other weird once we can ring off real quick. There's some people that are like extremely obsessed with like hand sanitizer, but like they need to sanitize people's full bodies and that's like a sexual thing. Yes, like the cleanliness, like they need them to be clean to that level. I don't know if that applies in the What about the one where you put on all of the skin tight plastic. Uh you have to use

like powder to get in those things? Yeah? You about this, guys, I have gone down a lot of rabbit holes. I'm not an expert in any of them. I'm actually, I would say, because I see it all the time on barstool sports, I'm going to say it eating would be an interesting fetish. I actually have a friend her Her husband loves her to eat her. Oh he gets yes. Usually I'm like your good wife, because no, thank you so much. Good for them. Honestly, you know, hey, I

couldn't believe she told me. Actually, I was like, I'm not sure. I can never look at him again. I'm sure you didn't. But Knicks podcast last week, I was talking about my sexual life in my um the things that I'm into, and I'm basically just straight missionary for two to six minutes with the lights off, and I wanted to be silent the whole time. So you make it through one song? Yeah, well maybe like half a song.

It's it's so interesting because I'm sure that girls that look at you think, wow, he must be Its like, he's so handsome and charismatic, he must be crazy behind closed doors. Depend so many drinks you put and then yeah, and then you find out nope, he just two to six minutes, lights off, nobody speaks missionary and we're done, and then we don't talk about it for a week after and I don't look at you, what what are you weirdly into Jared weirdly into sexually with your dean?

I don't talk I'm married. I don't talk about my sex and left to ask, uh, we you know, uh, we try some different things, dude. Yeah, that's kind of the fun thing about being married. I'm sure Teddy could attest this too. It's like once you are fully like committed in the relationship. Obviously you guys were committed in you relationships before getting married, but like you can like start start spicing it up and getting interesting and like

getting kinky with some uff I bet well. I think the um when you first start exploring each other and then you have that conversation of hey, you know, no, roof, let's just talk what are you really into? Like what do you want? And I think that's the most fun because then you could be honest and conversations change whether

you're drinking or not. Like I had conversations with my husband at the beginning when we were dating, and we'd be drinking and be like, oh yeah, totally be down for that, and then like the morning comes just so you know, like I wouldn't actually be down for that idea. Why like where I was blacked out until until the next time you're blacked out and you're like, you know what, let's do it, come on, let's try it out. Um, but no, Yeah, I've had that this you know actually,

and I've had those conversations sober. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fun being like because I like, I like I like telling you know, I like telling her like, hey, this is this is kind of what I like. I think it's kind of fun. It's the victory of finding out like I'm her awkward. Yeah, they'll let use the actual female to pretend to be your wife. That's that

probably would make it worse. Stick with you, yeah, just staring attended met you five minutes ago, and this is what I like sexual, you know what, I'm going to be vulnerable with you right now. Um, so what other fetishes have you? Guys started about you talking about swinging. Well, I learned the difference between swinging and open marriage. And what's the difference. So swinging is you go as a couple and you decide together to swing and like you're

watching it. It's a group activity. There's clubs, things like that. And then open marriage, which is where I kind of have an issue understanding. Most of the time happens after like your husband cheats on you or something, and then he's like, well you want to be together, Uh, we've got to have an open marriage, which means he's free to do what he wants, she's free to do what she wants. But I just think that's a whole messy situation.

That's yeah, that creates a lot of It's one thing if you start your relationship like that, you're like, hey, listen, this is what I'm meant to blah blah blah. But if it's after something bad happens and they're like, this is the only way we're going to stay together, I'd be like, then you make an interesting point. I think that's worth noting that if you're in a committed, monogamous relationship, it would be weird to transition from that to an

open relationship. But if you start in an open relationship, it's different. Yeah, Immediately the expectations are, this is who I am, and if you want to be with me this way, it's really kind of on you. But if it's I'm gonna marry, I'm gonna be with you the rest of our lives. And then three years down the road your board and you're like, hey, you know what, I want to be able to sleep with other people, and you know what I can tell you or not tell you will come up with our own rules, and

you too, what are your thoughts on threesomes? That because I just read an article. I didn't read the article, just read the headline. You didn't go down the rabbit hole, Jerry. Well, there's this whole Demi Moore thing. I don't know if you've been hearing about this, because she wrote a book describing her relationships in the past. It's like an autobiography, and there's an article that said that the reason that

her Nation Kitcher ended was because they started having threesomes. Well, I think at first it could probably be fine, or if it maybe happened one time with one person or one time with multiple people. But I think if you do it a couple of times, it's impossible for one person not to get jealous, one person to feel left out, or I would start to notice like, oh my god, my husband is looking at her in a different way than he's ever looked at me. I would start over analyzing.

There's no way jealousy doesn't come. It's impossible. And if you're that person that's like, I've never been jealous a day of my life, well then you're a liar, like come on yeah, or you really don't care. So I just think, yes, maybe for fun a couple of times, that would be fine, But in the long run, I think threesomes don't work. I've never had a threesome. You know, I was gonna ask that question before you asked it. Yeah,

I was ready for it. Yeah, we've talked about this before you Have you ever had a three I haven't. I've talked about it, but one of those things that you can talking about it and then never. I'm not much of a mathematician, but on this catch right now, there's three people. If you guys want to get weird, let's get weird. There's there's too many people in this room, guys,

let's keep it, let's keep it clean. You don't want to have a threesome with the guy who lives in a van with a mustache but having to look at his feet. Absolutely not. Oh god, well, okay, I guess I've I've had one threes in my life. I've talked about that on the podcast before, and I tell you what, I have only had one for a reason. It wasn't really my favorite thing in the world. So I can see, was it two girls? We don't need to get into

the specifics. Well, yes, that's actually what I do. Yeah, that's what you do on the podcasts, diving deep, no pun intending. You know, as I've stated on this podcast before, it's a very free spirit. My best friends and a girl who's also a very good friend of ours, and we were in college and we were Do you think it's better to have sex within a threesome with uh, like, your close friends or strangers? Probably strange, I would say stranger,

as long as you're safe obviously. Yeah, well I would say maybe one person you're close with them than a stranger. But I don't know, so many friends you kind of you've kind of crossed the line there. I think, Yeah, if you have a like a you know, a friend that you hook up with, I think if you were a third party in that you both don't really know, that could maybe work and it kind of just you know,

you haven't and then it goes away. But what if, like the person picking is always picking somebody and not your type. Well, that's why I wouldn't be a constant thing. I don't think it would work. You know, you have your friends with benefits. I don't think you could have your friends with benefits and three sims. I don't think that would work well. But also, friends with benefits never ends up working. It always ends horrible. It always ends up yeah, or you're just a denial that you think

it's working well. I was. I would love to hear an example of how it doesn't end well. I mean, I still have friends that I was friends with benefits before in the past, But you guys were straight up friends with benefits and you think the other person never or developed any feelings. I don't know. I guess I can't speak for their for their feelings, you just ignore them. Or was a friend that you like, I'm still friends

with them. Was it a friend that you like hooked up with and then you guys were just friends but then you hooked up like once or twice, or was it, Hey, we're friends, but we also find each other very attractive, so we're gonna hook up. And you guys had that talk. Yes, Oh you had the talk prior? Are you just drinking

one night and then because there's a difference. It's one thing if you like have a little chemistry and it happens one night and then you're like, you know what, we may be just move right on from this and never talked about it again. But to have the conversation I don't think I could do that. Let's be friends with benefits. Yeah I tried. That happened to be once where I had the conversation. We were like, we're friends, but we're also going to hook up. Uh, and yeah,

of course it didn't way to controlling no way. Yeah, Like I the thought of just having absolutely no control over my emotions and no idea what the other person's feeling. Like, Okay, well I'm good enough for him to hook up with, but we're never going to have that other discussion. It's one thing to say like let's casually date, but like to immediately close that door. I don't know that i'd be interested. Why do you think it's different for guys

and girls? Because I feel like in this particular area, it does seem a lot of the times girls are the ones who developed feelings and guys are the ones who are somehow able to compartmentalize that because I think women sometimes take things more personally than men, you know, like we're I I can really only speak to myself about myself, but I contend to like overthink something and take Like if if I were to hook up with somebody and they would be like, you know what, let's

just and it was the next day, let's just be friends, I'd be like, Oh, he's not into me obviously, but then why would you want to keep having sex with me? Yeah? I guess as a guy, it's the best of both worlds. It don't have to commit, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to spend money, and it's like, as a guy sometimes, you know, in my younger years, would be like you would do this, and you you were like, Okay, we're not going to do that again because it's just

not going to end well. And then all of a sudden, a week goes by and you're like, screw it, let's just do it up. But like exactly why, It's just it's I feel like men are unable to control their urges as well as women, and that might be a stereotype was a different a different time, But I think you can also. It can be in a fun situation, but the second one person has that conversation, that's when it shifts. Right. If you're just hooking up, you're hooking up.

But if one person has been like, so, what's going on here? Then you're done. Then you gotta stop it. Yeah, yeah, I guess I get that. That makes sense. Well, what's great about this conversation is none of us have to deal with it right now. I know it's two married couple and a guy who's about to get married picking up letting rings. Yeah, yeah, you talked to Neelie. Yeah, what's up with Neil? Yeah, we've been texting a little bit back and forth. You're sending me pictures nice very Dwarves. Um,

who is your favorite Paradise couple this year? Besides obvious me? And it's It's it's strange. I never really have favorites. I have least favorites. Okay, tell us the least favorites perfectly fine. I'm like scared he's going to be here. I had a little bit of a hard time with John Paul Jones. He's not here. Tasia is here, though, Tashia's here. I didn't, but I haven't even seen the finale. That's the last one. The last one I saw was the one right before. What specifically did you have a

problem with. I don't like when he got like all revved up and was like at somebody else's wedding because argumentative skills are not It's weird because he's articulate when he wants to be. But then that whole argument was you were like, what are you doing? Yeah, it just made me feel very uncomfortable. But I thought that, like Hannah and Dylan, we're a nice couple. But then once you become a nice couple, you don't see them anymore.

So then you like, whose interest as of you are probably like lat and gone home or something that came back and asked her to be Yeah, just add add some draws the only logical thing to do. Really, Okay, So we don't like John Paul. I mean, it's not that we don't like him, we don't like his character on you know, John wul Jones seems he's he seems like such a big teddy bear, and he seems like

he has such a big heart. But I think he in areas of life is very immature, and I think that was shown at the wedding when he just was trying to build those over people to what ended up. Because I didn't watch the finale what happened with Clay and his check they broke up. Didn't hear any of that though, right not at the reunion, but they showed

them leaving Paradise separately. The thing was, it was weird because Nicole was saying, Hey, you're either in love with me or you're not, and Clay was like, I'm not there yet, but I want to leave together to work on things, and she was like, no, it's either love or nothing. And then and then he said by oh, they didn't specify. Well, he was like I want to leave with you, but I'm not there yet, which I

thought was totally respectable. And she was like, nope, you're either in love with me by now or you're not. And I probably could have guessed that tell us about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well, you know, it's it's a different thing because they're filming us in our own environment.

So you're living your life with your family, you're doing your job, you're being with friends, but you never know how much is going to be air, you know, you know, last season we filmed Tuesday through Saturday, and so that's a lot of filming. And then I was like, wow, we didn't see anything of anything I did with my family or my business. We've just seen me, like with the other women. So and then the year before we saw so much about my family. So you kind of

never really know what you're gonna get. But people like, is it scripted? And it's really not. But the way I kind of say it is like I'm not a dramatic person. But the second that you know that, like someone's saying something to you and it's about to be judged in a very large scale, you may have a bigger reaction to it than you do in your natural life.

Why do you think that is? Because if somebody okay, and and like day to day life, if you said something rude to me, I'd be like, Okay, I'm probably just gonna ignore this person, but I'm not going to see you the next day and have to be at lunch. And you know, so I would if I knew I was gonna have to see you the next day and we're going to keep being together, I would have to say, like, you know, Dean, I thought that was kind of what you said, and then all of a sudden there's drama.

I agree. I think it's very similar in the Bachelor world because in everyday life, you don't have to face these confrontations. You know, you can just walk away, you can let it brush right off your shoulder, be the bigger person and just move on. But in this reality TV world, you are forced to face that because you are going to see them because you're on the same beach together, and you have like producers encouraging confrontation too. But ours actually really don't. I've heard that a lot

about the Bachelor. They really don't. But if if they can feel it, Sometimes you won't see that person for a while, so then it builds because then you're talking maybe about that person because you haven't been able to see them. And it's also with the batch, Laura, I don't. It's not like a producer coming up and saying you

have to go talk to this person. It's just done in a way where you're sitting at a table and all of a sudden, the other person walks into the same area as you, and there's a huge elephant in the room that's just impossible to ignore. And there's there's that too, and there's uh, there's a lot of agreeing with to like inflate your sense of I guess like pride in something. You know. It's like, let's it's like two people are arguing, right, and then they go their

separate ways. Uh, you'll have you know, this person's idea being agreed with over here, while this person's idea is being good with over here. So it's basically just like spiraling more their like their ideas are just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then when they get back into an argument, they're like even more convicted because they've talked about it, because they've been agreed with and they've like they've been thought that their idea is the right right.

You know, what was the deal with the uh the date food? You're not supposed to eat the date food? I mean you can't eat it. I don't that you talked about girl? Yeah, Like what was going on? I was like, what is happening? We eat our food, we go to dinner, and we're like we're going to eat. Well, they feed you before the date. They make sure that you eat because the food. I think also, eating on

camera is not the most appealing. You know, sometimes we're just desperate, you know, hey we have to We're like, we've been hours, I'm going for it, and so I think that's why you're probably fed before the date, so you're not hungry going on it. I would still always eat the food, because all in love in a day, you know, there's some time for eating. You gotta be talking the whole time. You gotta be like coloring each other in pain. Who talk about the future and kids

and your demons in your past? Beverly Hill start for you. For me, Um, I knew one of the women just casually through like a mommy and meat class, and then they kind of reached out and said, would you be interested in doing it? And so it was already a show and you kind of people were like a late later edition. I guess a later edition. What's a mommy and me class? Mommy, and oh you're gonna learn all

about this naturally have kids. That's really good. Can you give Jared some advice as a newly married man, like what you can do to keep actually happy? Yeah, well keep my wife happy, you know, I think listen, ask questions, but around the times that you know she wants to talk. Like example, I am like a big talker in the morning, but before bed, like honestly zip it, like I just

want to go to sleep. My husband will come home and be like, so tell me about your day and but and want to have this full conversation, like can we just like set a day day and we'll like go over all of these details. But like eight thirty at night when I'm like watching my show I Love how eight I was. I thought you're gonna say eleven o'clock Jared when I'm in bed and want to just fall asleep. But once you have three kids and you are you known with another one, you you go to

bed early. But I think the biggest thing is listening, doing like spending time together when you both want to, not like doing those like we have to go in to day, We're going to do this tonight, but like things that are actually special. See that's an interesting And do you find yourself having to schedule those dates though, because I feel like I've heard from a lot of married couples you have to schedule those dates. Yeah, well,

especially once you have kids. And also what we were realizing for a while we were always scheduling like double dates or things with a group, which are fun, but you're not really connecting When you're in a group. You're having fun and you're drinking or you're doing whatever. But like to actually connect with your spouse, you have to figure out what it is that you're going to do together.

So for us, it'll be like, oh, we'll go on a hike, and then we'll go before I was pregnant, like a boozy brunch and that's kind of you know, We'll have a babysitter for the kids, and then afterwards we're like, we're great parents, let's go home and have fun.

But we're connecting in that way versus a dinner at eight o'clock, nine o'clock at night, where you're tired, you get a babysitter to watch your kids sleep, and you're just like, all right, we're here, now, we have a glass of wine and dessert, get the hell out here. Let's keep this moving. So I think it's just keeping it figuring out what it is that you guys like, Yeah, I noticed that Ashley and I connected more in the

honeymoon than we have in a very long time. Because it was just the two of us, which is something you know, we can make it if we try, just with us, you and I. Um, but I I noticed that that it was the first time for months that it was just her and I without any distractions and really connecting on a different level than we had in a very long time, because before the wedding, we were planning so hard for that moment, which we're very happy that we did, because when the day came, the weekend came,

everything happened exactly how we wanted to and it's so personalized that it meant the world to us. But for months before, just with the wedding and work, because Ashley and I, you know, being from the Bachelor franchise, we kind of do quote unquote almost work together to a certain extent as well. Um, So I think for a while, you you spend so much time together that you forget that you're not spending quality time together. That was in unison.

That was impressive. Yeah, well, she knows, because just being in the present of your partner doesn't actually mean you're spending time together. Just sitting there and watching sports or

a show or whatever. It doesn't mean you're connecting. Yeah, but sometimes that's nice you want to sit there and hold each other's hand, but like you have to actually be vulnerable and talk about what's going on in your life to actually grow as people and as partners, and you got to share your fears or what you're excited about totally. And even just you know, we if we're having coffee together in the morning or anything, it's always like, all right, we'll have this and that, and then to die.

You're going over your schedule and what we're doing, and you're always working for the next thing. And and so I think on the honeymoon, when we're having coffee or breakfast in the morning, we're just sitting together and it was just a different feeling and you're spending you're you're

connecting on a different level. And so ever since we got back, I think it's been a little sad, just because now it's back to all right, well, what's next, we gotta do that, and you're scheduling and you're forgetting, Okay, we really need to just spend quality while you're scheduling, schedule that one little pocketed time time for you guys

to do something special. I know it's not something you're getting paid to do, not something that not an appearance, not a concert, something you guys really want to do together. It is hard, though, because you spend so much time together with your your significant other that it's weird to schedule just a time with them that doesn't have to do with work or anything like that because you don't see other people in your life, you know, like, yeah,

but as you get older, you're gonna see even less people. Yeah, I know, but it's it's so weird because I think friends don't understand. Like a great example, uh is a friend Nick who like always kind of bust my balls that, like he doesn't see me anymore because I spend so much time with Ashley. But then when I'm with Ashley, I think I don't spend enough quality time with her. So it's hard to balance life. And everybody goes through that.

I'm sure you've obviously been through that with friends and and ever since being married that you're like, no, I need to spend more time with my wife because we don't spend enough quality time together. But I think if you actually kind of schedule even it's something that my husband loves to go play basketball with his friends, and he used to do it on Saturdays. And I was like, you know, here's the thing. I want you to see your friends. I really do, but Saturdays like our family

day and we're together. Like, can you pick one night during the week you can go play basketball as late as you want, go out to drink with your friends after, but like, can you just do it a different day than Saturday, because I feel a disconnection from you when you go and do that every Saturday. And then him just switching the day around made such a big difference for us, and neither of us a feeling like we're missing something. But he didn't have to give it up.

He didn't have to give it up. I'm like, hey, just pick a night now, I'll do it Thursday nights. And you know, it's great, but I can't wait to be married having to you know, you have to make compromises, but I have to do things like, you know, make his breakfast And I'm like, we took that. Have you guys taken the love languages? I'm sure, of course, but such a millennial, not as a couple, but I know

what my love language are. I give of physical touch and acts of service, and I receive acts of service and physical touch. Yeah, so my husband's acts of service, I'm like, I hate doing things for people that's yours, that's yours as well. Uh. Now mine is I think quality time and uh I think it's acts of service. Nobody's words of affirmation really yes, which I was like, I don't even I feel so uncomfortable when I get compliment.

That seems like strange to me, but I realized it's it comes with like when I do an acts of service for my husband. So if he's like, hey, we get breakfast or whatever it is, and then I give it and he'll be like, hey, where's the salt and pepper, you know, then I'm like yourself versus when he's like, oh, thanks, babe, I appreciate it, love you. You know. Those things really resonate with me and kind of set the tone for

our day. I will say. One of the reasons that Mine Kalin's relationship works so well is I'm really bad at giving words of affirmation. It's like, by far my weakest love language to give, by like a long shot, and she doesn't receive her least receiving love languages words of affirmation, Like I'm so bad just like waking up and running over and be like, oh my god, you're so beautiful and I care about you so much. Like like, obviously I think those things and I do feel those ways,

but I'm just like bad at expressing it. You get nervous saying it, or you just don't want to feel vulnerable. I don't know, I just I'm uncomfortable saying it. Maybe I don't maybe it's like a fear of vulnerability or something. But I guess my point is it's like she doesn't she doesn't need that to feel loved by me, which is really nice. She probably likes affection and she likes physical touch. She's an acts of service and like quality times. She's big unquality time of course as well. Why is

it hard to say words of affirmation? I find it difficult as well sometimes, Like I think about this not only with my relationship with Ashley, but also my relationship with my sister, my parents. For some reason, I find it difficult. I'm getting better at it, but I find it difficult to really like say I love you. I

don't know. I think it might be a man thing because even sometimes of my dad, like you can tell, it's almost an uncomfortable it's an uncomfortable moment when we're like on the phone together and we're about to hang up, and I'm just like, all right, uh, I love you bye, as if like I just gotta say because I love you and I want you to know that, and I know you know that I'm gonna say it anyway because I want to say it. I sent. Uh. This was what I spent the night in Denver at my best

friend's house this past weekend. And as I was leaving, I like rushed out the door because like, like great seeing your bro, Like I'll catch you later. And then I was like driving with my brother out to Utah, and I was thinking to myself, I was like wow, like I really wasn't appreciative enough of like what Mike did. So I send like this long text like hey, like I really appreciate our friendship, but you know, you were

a great host blah blah blah. But like for some reason, saying it was a lot harder than just like texting it, you know, and like I know that he was like dude, of course, like I knew that you were super grateful and all that kind of stuff, but I appreciate you saying something. It's like your father, Like your father knows that you love him, but like sometimes it's hard to

say it. Yeah, it's that's where you are, and you're like your frame of mind that day, and you don't want to feel like it sounds forced or fake because the second you feel like you're saying thank you or I appreciate it, or you made so much to me, but you're not actually feeling in that moment, then all of a sudden you're like, I don't feel genuine doing that, because like, how many movies do I have to see where you know, the main character is losing someone they

love and they're like, I should have changed you second of every day. And it's like I need to be saying it every second of every day because I want to say it, and for some reason I have difficulties, especially if you feel it. Um, well, that was that was great. We're gonna jump into some Facebook questions and Teddy, we want you here to help us answer these questions. Okay, before we do that, we are going to take one

quick break and then we'll dive right into it. Welcome back to help myselfcome back to help I suck at dating, not live. I don't know I did that. I started, and I thought it was gonna be plentier than it was. Then no one laughed and you were like, oh, I'm missing social kids. Anyway, we're in Las Vegas at Planet Hollywood. We have Teddy Mellencamp joining us for some Facebook questions. If you guys are not in the Facebook group, you should be. And let's give a shout out to the

moderators Millie and Suz Susie Susie. I think Susie might be a moderate. I'm not sure, but she also constantly active. I haven't been keeping up on the Facebook page as much as I used to do, but we do. UM obviously love encouraging conversation there, and if you guys have any questions or like you want to chime in about the podcast, obviously right on that wall on Facebook, or you can of course email us at I Second Dating at iHeart media dot com. You're kinky things that you're

interested in, just email us anonymously. Maybe that's better than the Facebook post because in your name is attached to it. But yeah, if you have any kinky stuff they want to keep secret, definitely emails anonymous. We have UM some questions that you guys asked that Jared's going to read and we're going to try and talk about them. Of course, so obviously quick shout out to the Facebook group podcast and also quick shout out to the Instagram, which we've been.

You're killing the Instagram. I'm not gonna lie doing pretty good. Do you like? Did you like my post? I was like, how dode she would have been if I posted that I'm allowed because I know, I know, I appreciate it. It was that I was my favorite post of ours to Willie Wonka, Lilli Wonka and Neopa Loompa, which I don't really understand how it could be both of those because you're so tan. I think the lompa and then the hair kind of like the way that it flowed

down my ears. And I think it was also the color of your jacket. Yeah, that's because I think he wears well it's like salmon. It was like salmon purple. Yet yeah, very Willie Wonka ask um, So anyway, h should we say people's names? I guess right, because it's on Facebook. Uh So this is Rebecca and she writes, at what point do you think it's normal to have

the defining the relationship talk. Uh, And she gives a poll here two months after the first date, one month after the first date, or four months after the first day, and the winner is two months, second places one month, third place is four months. I don't think there's like an umbrella length of time you can be like, all right, we've been dating for sixty days. Time to dtr this,

you know, But um, what do you think? I think if you're not sure at four months what you're actually doing, then that probably means you don't need to have the conversation because you're probably just casually dating. Yeah, probably you're probably it's probably not going anywhere. I think, Um, I mean, yeah, I would say a few weeks. I'd say I think a few weeks is a little a little early. But I think I think I think two months is fine. But I also think having to have that defining conversation

almost isn't necessary if you're in a good situation. Well, yes and no. I think both people want to be on the same page of hey, this is a boyfriend girlfriend, right, not just hey we're hanging out, but we're not sure where it's going. Right. But I don't you think when you're in a good relationship and you're having regular conversations. There isn't just that one sit down like, hey, what

are we doing here? I would say yes and no because I feel like I have so many friends that feel like they're in really good relationships where it just hasn't there, like I'm really sure that we're right. But then but then once they have the conversation, is it over or is it good? No? I think what you have the conversation, as long as you're in a good relationship, then it would be hey, we're boyfriend girlfriend, because it

is awkward being in that situation. Say, you know, say hypothetically, Teddy, you were dating Dean and you guys were hanging out a few times, and it's been a month in and then Teddy you were like, hey, my cousin's having a cookout, would love for you to come. He comes and you're like, hey, this is my um uh, this is Dean and we are hanging out. So I think before you even bring him to the cookout, wouldn't you want to have a conversation to say, hey, am I introducing you as my boyfriend?

Because we're boyfriend girlfriend? Right. I'm kind of old school. I would hope that he had the conversation with me. I don't know where I would. I don't know if if I have to be in a situation where I'm like, do you do you like me enough? How I can introduce you? I don't think I'm going to keep going down there? All right, that's fair, that's fair. Do you have another Facebook question? Jean Christine stole my phone is going through. I don't bring my phone to the podcast.

I try to focus on the conversations that we have, but yes, let's see this young lady. Melissa says she just got back on the dating scene and she wants to know why guys that she meets for the first time start texting her babe, how are you? Or babe? When are we hanging out? She says she feels a bit weird about them calling her babes and she barely knows them. Does that mean that they're into her? Or are they looking to just come over and make out?

I think they're just looking to come over and make out. Who calls someone baby stranger? Baby? They're they're looking to hook up, I sometimes say, and Ashley can attest this um sometimes, hon But I'm a married man, so I feel like I can say now, but like, I know that sounds weird, but my dad says it and that's where I got it, where like he's getting coffee and he'd be like, oh, thanks, son, you say you say

hon to Ashley? Are people know to other people? But like I don't call Ashley hone other like people like strangers out in the world. I call Ashley babe. I know, I know happening. I know it's but my dad. I got it from my dad and he does it all the time, and it's such a yeah, it's kind of like that, and so I've I've noticed doing it and in the moment like why the hell did I say that? I'm so awkward And I really just blame my father. No, I think it's fine, it's fine, it's not by And also,

what time are they texting you? Yeah, it's like in the middle of the night, all right, So you up. Matt posted a question and the Facebook group as well. He says, why do you girls find it such a turn off that, at five years old, despite him having a good job, that they don't like that he lives at home with his parents as a year old man. It's kind of like the new normal I'm sorry, but twenty living at home isn't that crazy? You're on your

parents health insurance till you're twenty six. He just wants he wants to know what women generally think of it. So tell you, what would you think if you were let's say you were single and you met a guy and you're interested in it turns out he's living at home with his parents. I haven't ever had to go through that, but I think for me, I would be a little bit like, Okay, you graduated college, you have a job, Like, don't you want to support yourself and

start progressing. But his defense, he says that rent is very expensive. He's like saving up some money, he's got a good job. He's just like I mean, but in order to grow, you have to invest in yourself or invest in the life that you're creating. And if you're still having your mommy do your laundry, you're kind of

stifling yourself. Yes, I think it also depends because if you're twenty five and you know that you're going to move out at some point soon, that's different than you're twenty five and you have no idea where you're going. And that's why I think I don't think it's necessarily living at home. But if you're with a guy and they don't seem like they have any goals or drive,

to me, that's not attractive totally. But if you're living at home because you two dollars in college day, then that's different than being twenty five and working at you know, the seven eleven because you don't know where you're doing with your life. Not saying severne's a bad job, it's a great job, but just in terms of yours have have a goal and to want to have a purpose in their life, and that's what women are attracted to totally. I was get I was kind of, um, I guess

not throwing off or anything like that. Like what do you have like long term goals that you set for yourself? Like do you like write down you're like five year, ten year, fifteen year goals? I do. I don't write them down. Um, but I think, especially now newly married, my goals are more family oriented about you know, buying a house, having kids, uh, you know, seeing where we're

going to settle down. That's kind of in terms in terms of my goals right now, I'm still a career focused, um, but that's been obviously the main focus of my head right now. I don't write down long term goals, but I do write down, like in the morning, I write down some things that I'm grateful for. I have anxiety, so for me, that really helps, like these are the things I'm grate for. And then I write down my three non negotiables of every day, So three things that

I'm going to accomplish. And I know that when I do those things, it'll like create confidence in making sure that I continue to get that. Can you give us like a for instance, like an example of one of those you know, it could be something like, you know, I had to I run a business so that I have forty five women that worked for me. And I was like, I am going to set the zoom call

for this week. This is what's happening. I'm going to set it for Tuesday, and I'm taking action today because you know, sometimes in your head you're like, I'm gonna do this, and then you put it off and then all of a sudden you've created this unnecessary, like weird feeling inside yourself because you're just not doing it right. And then you do it and it takes it takes two seconds, and you're like, why was I thinking about

this for three days? That's a good that's a good method to write down the three non negotiables that you're going to do that day. Yeah, and it could be fitness related, could be health related. It could be I'm going to have that conversation with this person today, but I'm not putting it off, because putting it off is what creates that like uncomfortable. Yeah. I guess the reason I asked that question is because for me personally, like I guess when I think of goals long term, I

don't know what it might not necessarily be. And so it's like you want to date someone that has goals obviously, and you to be attracted to people that have goals and um are working towards them. But like I'm trying to think about mine are and like, well, I think you can. It doesn't necessarily have to be goals, but like, what do you want out of your life? And if you're still fully I have no idea? Like for me, I knew I like wanted to feel comfortable in my

own skin. I wanted to be married and have kids, and I wanted to feel like I had a purpose so I found a career that I feel that way. You know, I help other people and yeah, but I wanted both because I had one, and then I was feeling like I want to be able to do both. And I think that just being able to talk through it with your partner and saying these are the types of things that I care about. That's enough. So one more question before we wrap up from the Facebook group.

This is from Melissa, and she says, am I overreacting if a guy I'm talking two takes over two hours to respond back to me. He's told me he isn't talking to other people, but obviously we haven't d t R yet. Do we know what a find the relationship? I'm an idiot? Wow? Should I be worried or just relax? Dating sucks? Crying face emoji? If he says he's not talking to other girls and you don't have any reason not to believe him, it sounds like he's kind of

defining the relationship there. And I think everybody's a different type of texter, Like my husband is not an immediate texter or back or unless he needs something. But you know, I'm the type like if I have my phone on me I'm gonna text right back. Texting really changed the dating game, didn't it, Because now you no longer call anybody, you just text. And now texting is such a game to a lot of people where they have to wait to respond because they don't want to see needy or

uh you. You know, you text immediately back because you want them to know that you're interested. But like, just like either the guy likes you or he doesn't, the text time really doesn't matter. You're going to figure out whether he's into not by if he texts you within twenty minutes or two hours. See, I used to you'd plan out that time I was thinking about in high

school before texting was a mainstream thing. Um. I remember one time there was a girl that I told her i'd call her that day, but I was so terrified to call her that I knew she had cheerleading practice, So I intentionally called her while she was at cheerleading practice, so I knew she wouldn't pick up, so it took all the pressure off. And then when she called me back into an an answer. So she thought you were playing a game, but you were just a nervous rack

probably or she just thought I was an idiot. I don't know, probably the latter, but you know, so now that's just like the modern day of like texting but waiting two hours and be like, oh sorry, I was doing this. I do remember as a like a middle schooler in high school or calling someone that you were like had of crushed on was like the most terrifying

thing in the world. So I can empathize with you because it was very scary, especially if you had to call her house because then you would ask is is. But we when I was growing up was different. We all had pages like like this is the nineties. You'd get the page and then you're like, oh, wow, okay, I call that. This is my cue. My children are my stepdaughter is eleven, and then my daughter is six and my son is five and I'm you know, four

and half months. So the stepdaughter is about to be at that age where she like, I'm sure she's probably like dating boys, right, No, I hope not. I don't know. I know, well I try to in denial about that. Well, no, you try to like hint around but without giving them any ideas. But I mean, I don't know my actually the seven year old or the six year old she talks about boys a lot more than her older sister, and I'm like, can you not? She was like, did you see him at school the day he grew his

hair out? I'm like, yeah, always tell mommy everything mean while I'm like, I'm like, sure, we're doing all girls birthday girls, no boys, no boys ever allowed. All right, Well to do it. For this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating Um live from Las Vegas hashtag not live. Teddy thanks for coming on, Thanks guys for having me. Yeah, make sure you check out her podcast,

which comes out Tuesday. Teddy Tea Pod, not tea Bag, Teddy Tea Pod on I Heart Radio were Teddy Mellencamp jumps into all different types of subjects and goes into a dive deep of each one of them. Uh, Teddy, thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it. You're the best. Thanks you, guys. I hope to have you on mine as well. Oh my gosh, I would love nothing more. You just let us know. You guys, bring me a good topic and we'll we but we

have to do fair investigation. I'm gonna find the most random thing for us to talk about, all right. I would love to think maybe something about mustaches. Yeah, you a hard wood for putting us up here in Las Vegas. The best casino on the strip. Oh it's the best. And also thank you to Shake Shack. Who doesn't love shake Shack right, They've got so many locations all over the place. They've got the best burgers around. They've got this flat top Viana hot dogs that we all know

and love. And the shakes, my god, the shakes. Shakes for the best. A shake cheeseburger and the cheese fries with the cheese on the side so you can dip it in. I heard about this hack the other day. Yeah, actually does that mean because it's the cheese fries, but you put the cheese on the side so you control how much cheese are on your fries. Oh my god, it's it's you know. Shake Shack really puts the eatering control.

I love it, um And you can find a location near you at shake shack dot com or on the Shack app. That, of course, is our beloved Easton Allen, who is the biggest shake Shack officion auto. Anyways, that'll do over this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? Thank you again, to every one of you for listening, and to Teddy and to Jared and to everything else. To Vanessa, who unfortunately could not make it to Vegas, but we're thinking of her, her podcast and we love her.

I'm just kidding. I texted yesterday. Apparently her dog got really sick. So let's send her some good vibes. Good vibes towards Vanessa. UM be sure to do next week, where maybe we will suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast