Daddy Lessons

everybody that Ashley is pregnant. We don't say we're pregnant. Mark, I don't know if that was the thing that your wife made to do, but like the Doe totally because we first started saying we're pregnant, and she was like, are we pregnant? Or am I pregnant? And we are having a kid, And then she got really sick, and then she's like, I'm pregnant, you're not, and we're having a kid. It does feel like stolen valor a little bit like you're trying to hone in on some of

the action here. But yes, she's dealing with all of it. She's doing percent of the work she might. I would lets give her. I mean, because the only person you were involved in was was quite enjoyable. Yeah, it was fine. You know, twenty eight seconds of my life and then I have done, Like, so now my job is just running errands, like getting whatever she needs, feeding her, uh, telling her everything's gonna be all right. She's like, am I going to be like this for the rest of

my life? And I'm like, I don't think so. I think you're gonna be okay. Hopefully it's just the first try. She's getting her ask kicked. Man, she's like puking like three times a day. She's constantly nauseous. It's crazy how as a guy, I just had no idea, Like who the hell coined the term morning sickness? It's morning, afternoon, and night. It's not just morning. So is the gender thing. I don't think we know the gender yet, right, How

are you planning on revealing that to the world. Well, we don't know how we're going to reveal it, but we find out this week, which is insane. So we have a doctor's appointment Wednesday, and it's crazy how fast you can find out because she'll be eleven weeks and after ten weeks you can find out the sex of the baby. So we're gonna find it out. She doesn't want to do any type of like gender revealed party, which I get but I wouldn't mind doing a small

something um for our family. But it's obviously up to ash So we're going to find out soon and then we have no idea how we're going to tell people. I mean, I guess we'll just be like, yeah, it's it's a boy or a girl. So you will tell us. This is gonna be a secret till the child is born. No, no, no, no, no no, we're gonna obviously, oh yeah, come on now we want we want good gifts. Will the name be a secret till the child is born? Will that also

be revealed? Well, that's a great question. We have a name, So we have a name for a boy. Um. It's been a name that Ashley has known for thirteen years that she she wanted to name a kid she wanted to be playing for twenty years. So totally, Little Tom Brady Haven is to be a fantastic child to have, UM. But she's had the name for quite some time, and I was actually gonna ask her today whether I should tell you guys what the name is. But yeah, I

don't know. I don't know if you heard in the background, but that's just whisper it gently into the microphone. You want know it's it's it's it's Dean of unclear baby. Oh that's a beautiful name. Um, So you're gonna find out the sex and you're probably gonna announce that on the podcast for us, right like you'll have the breaking news. Come onto the podcast. Let's see how highly rated this podcast is and if it gets a decent amount of views,

then we're releasing on this podcast markets market almost famous. Yeah, yeah, as I'm sure it will be as well. Markt When you had your children, did you know the gender before they were born? Yeah, we knew what We found out immediately because we are planners. We have spring babies, because my wife did not want to be pregnant in the summer. We planned everything, so we wanted to know everything in advance.

We could plan everything decorated according they get gifts accordingly. Yeah, definitely when you so, your advice to a new father is to learn the sex early on, just so you can plan. It just takes some of the stress out of the you want everything. The way the way we look at it is that you know when when Ashley is going through her nesting phase, which by the way, is crazy, it's because you hear about it. You're like, oh, that would be an interesting thing. No, it's like a

real thing. And your house has never been cleaner, Your house has never been more organized, Like she was going through old photo albums changing up pictures. That the most extreme example I can give you with my wife's nesting phase is she went into our Christmas ornaments and this was in March, and and found the Christmas wantaments that had picture holes in them and make sure they all

had updated pictures in the picture holes. That's the level of nesting detail that she got up to as she was getting rid of I can't wait I of living in an organized house. That's impressive, it's fascinating. But but that's a stressful time because there's so many unknowns and I we just want to remove as many unknowns as possible. At least we know the name, we know the gender.

So for for Jared, when he finds out the gender, which sounds like it would be more sooner than later, how much how much realer is that going to get for him as a dad? Do you think, Yeah, that's that's an amazing thing, because then you start picturing all kinds of stuff. You know, if it's a little girl, you picture everything from first day of school to prom to wedding day, walking her down the aisle, and if it's a boy, you start picturing his first baseball game

or football game or whatever it is. And then one day kim walking down the aisle and it's it all becomes so much more real when you find out the sex of the baby's Like, I don't feel that connected with the kid right now, which makes me feel guilty and sad. The only time I did was when we went to the first ultrasound because that was when you know, they put the gel on her belly and they have like the scope to see the inside and I've only

ever seen that in movie. So being in the room with the doctor and being like, oh, yeah, this is your baby right here. And it's the size of an aunt and you know, the sack is the size of a blueberry, and like, you know, she writes baby over it and you can see the little heartbeat and it's like, oh wow, no, that's a that's a living thing. That's insane. So that felt real. We know things like it's not

twins or anything like that. Not twins. Actually was so convinced she had twins because of how sick she was and she was so wrong. We're not having twins, So how have you guys thought about, like when the baby comes, what's the plan going to be for that? Is it going to be at the hospital? Is it going to be I mean, is this it's too intimate to even share? Like yeah, I mean, as long as COVID protocols allow it.

I want to be in the room. I'm definitely not looking under the towel, mark, did you, Because no, I didn't know what that was the real stay up by the head and looked down as little as possible. I'm not looking down with our second daughter. It was there was a big picture on the wall across from where the action was happening, and it was basically a mirror the way the lights were in the room, and so we hung a towel over it, and then at one point during birth, the towel fell and I got a

little bit of a glimpse. Then I was wearing a baseball cup that I had to kind of adjust down because I don't want to see that, and my wife did not want me to see that. We were in complete agreement on that, no interest in that, So why I tried to stay out by the head as much as possible. Dude, Tanners just watched every time. Three kids. He saw all three and I'm like, you're insane. You're insane,

you know what I mean? Tanner. Also for Brooks, their second, he had to look because that was the one that she had the baby in the closet where she was she was like screaming, and he looked and the baby was crowned. That was intense. But I'm like, there's no way. Did you cut the cord? No, I'm not qualified. There are other people more. Yeah, that's why I don't get like. I'm like, I'm I'm okay, i don't need to cut the cord. Like, let's make sure the baby's good. What

is it? What are you yelling in the background? Ashley wants me to cut the cord? But what about all this stuff that I keep hearing about the placenta and how you can use it to cook food with? Can you say, perhaps I hope we did none of that stuff. Guys, are you're not going to do that the Kardashians episode where they did it. I mean, if the Kardashians did it,

then there's a potential of actually doing it. But other than that, it doesn't really seem like ashlete personality to save the placenta and cook it and then us like digest it. I mean I can only imagine what she must be going through right now. Is there because you're I don't want to say normally you're like an anxious person, but I know that you can get stressed out over certain things. Is has that kind of kicked in yet at all? Or is it more just elation? Um? No,

I'm certainly not stressed out. It's also because life doesn't feel that different right now. You know, the only thing that's different is that Ashley is sick. Everything else is completely normal, you know. I mean she hasn't shown at all. I mean she's still only ten weeks. We don't even know the sex of the baby. We've only had one doctor as a point, and um, so it doesn't you know, everybody tells me it's it's reassuring because I have so many friends and family that tell me that everything will

change once that kid is born in the best way possible. Um, and Mark, you know, I want you to talk about this a little bit because everybody says like, yeah, it's you know, like a buddy Mine was like, it's exhausting, it's tiring. Uh, it's stressful. Uh, it's also the best thing that will ever happen to you in your life. And I've heard that across the board. It's it's amazing. How like being a parent is the one thing that like I feel like I always here consistently, is that

it's exhausting, it's stressful, it's tiring, and it's all worth it. Yeah, here's my advice for when the baby is born. And I give this to all dads out there. This is and this is a good advice, um because still obviously actually doing a d percent of the work. Now after the baby is born, she's still gonna be doing of the work. Right, She's feeding the child, She's doing so much. The bond there is incredible, and you're just trying to help out wherever you can. So here's what you do.

You take that child in the middle of the night and allow Ashley to sleep for a few hours. All you're doing is taking the child and you're gonna go watch TV. That's it with baby Ali, right if she was born and I've been seasons of entourage. This was fifteen years ago. I am a hero for sitting and watching television and a requiring chair. Okay, this is my advice to you. No matter what time of day it is, you're like, honey, I got this. You sleep, You're a hero,

and all you're gonna do is go watch TV. It's the greatest. Yeah, it's like that TikTok. Mark is the guy who gets the standing ovation for doing the bare minimum. It's like a TikTok with a guy like literally washes one side of the counter and then and he gets a standing ovation. Mark went to go watch Entourage and his wife was like, you're the greatest man alive. The husband's flash father. Yes. Yeah, man, it's it's easy being a dude. My other advice to you is um is too.

Don't get weird about pregnancy sex. Some guys are very weird about that. That's actually my next question about that. If actually assisted be all in because they don't feel attractive in the condition she's going to be in over the next months, So make sure you don't add to that. But being weirded out, you know, yeah, I'm definitely not weird it out. I mean, I guess there's only I guess I'll only know when that time comes when she's like seven months and you know, yeah, it's there, it's there.

It's yeah, it's weird, but it's not gonna she's it's not gonna make her feel good. If you're all like you, So, yeah, what kind of advice would you have for him? Mark about you know, getting that on while it was later on in the pregnancy. Um, you know, you gotta get a little creative with positions and so. But she's it's just followed her lead. That's my only advice, And that's pretty much my advice to you for the next twenty years. I was saying, I mean that that could be the

title of my autobiography. Just follow her lead. That's what I do anyway, exactly. So what you're saying is Jared is no longer in control of his own life. He is playing second field to the main character that is Ashley I Connetti. Yeah, until like the age of my kids are, where they're fifteen and twelve, I'm no longer in the star of the show like the kids at the star of the show. I'm not a supporting character in this TV show. And that's been kind of interesting

over the past few years. Where they used to be our kids and now we're their parents. Um. But like I remember when I found out it was a girl, I started, I wept. That was the first time I cried happy tears. I bought this whole process because I always wanted a daughter. And then last night she was up on stage playing aerial in The Little Mermaid and it's just the greatest. It's really I still want a full ride. So I'm very happy for you. Thanks, buddy,

I appreciate it. It's funny how you talk to different parents and you get completely different actions when it comes to having kids. I was talking to Sky the other day. He's I think he had two little girls as well, and he was like, do you let me tell you the ultimate form of birth control is when you get that call from your kid at four in the afternoon and she's screaming and crying and she needs you, or that moment, and I'm like, like, you're doing a really

bad job as selling parenthood right now. And then there are guys like you Mark that are like, you know, they've got a million photos of their children on their phone, and there's the proudest in the world. I am. Obviously that's the ideal, but it's just funny how people can be on one side or the other about that kind of well there there, it's all over the place. There's been rough nights, there's been anxiety issues, there's been sleep issues, Like,

there's gonna be some tough times. Absolutely, there's bullying issues. There's you know, just kids at school just being awful to your kid. You like, it's not all just joy and and and pride and happiness. You know, there's a

lot of ups and downs to it. But and also you can't if how fast it goes, You can't believe it's such a short period of your life that your kids are in your home with you, because when you're a kid, being a kid who takes forever, when you're an adult you realize, oh my gosh, they're only going to be here for eighteen years, maybe twenty if you're lucky, and then they're out in the world, and that goes by in the blink of an eye. Dude. It's it's

just it's I'm excited. I'm definitely way more excited than I am nervous. I guess it's just it's the first time in my life where I feel this over overwhelming responsibility because even with marriage. Ashley as an adults are our dogs are losing their minds in the background, but Ashley is an adult. Like where two adults coming together, but now we have to take care of another life. And we always actually, and I always joke like, when

are we going to start feeling like adults? Because we still feel like kids, you know, even now we're pregnant, and I'm like, this isn't like I'm I'm a child. You know, how am I ever gonna be able to raise a kid? So, Mark, did you ever get to a moment where you're like, oh, now now I'm a parent, Now I'm an adult, or do you still feel like I'm just kind of taking it day by day? Hmm. That's a good question because I definitely feel like a

dad now. And it's also funny because everybody who knows me, everybody who works with me, they all just I'm such a dad. I'm a total dad. Um. But of course, fifteen years ago, I was like, what is this? What do I do? I don't understand this. The day that you take the baby home from the hospital, You're like, are they sure about this? Because he has no idea what we're doing? And that was a crazy feeling. So I think it's more gradual. I think you're you won't

wake up and feel like a dad one day. It's just suddenly fifteen years ago by and you'd be like, I've been a dad as long as I can remember. I don't remember life before the end of dad. Did you read a lot of books while your wife was pregnant? Yeah? I did, and so did she. And one that she really loved was The Girlfriend's Guy to Pregnancy, And I think the writers named Iven like Jimmy Iven. I think

it's actually his ex wife. But but that was really resonated because it was the real truth of what's going on. You know, she didn't pull any punches. She was like, this part sucks, this is really bad. You know, she really tells you how it is. It's not all sugarcota. So I would recommend that one. Was it about pregnancy or was it about being a parent? It was about pregnancy? Areaking books we've read quite a bit since the kids

have been born, Okay, because I don't know. Like the reason I asked is because when we did our Amazon thing last week, we got questions like, oh, what books are you reading? I'm like, I haven't read a book about parenting? Am I behind? Right now? Should I be like getting on this? You're okay, You're okay, go a childbirth might be fun to glance through. It's gonna read a book about childbirth in Italian so that we can kind of not exactly. Why do you think I'm learning

Italian people? All right? Speaking to my daughter. I gotta go pick her up. So I love you guys. Congratulations heared having its funny. That's funny. I appreciate it. Love you too. Then, Jared, here's the thing? Who needs books? When you have Mark's number on speed dot right there? That's what I mean. I have all these friends, I have all these resources right at the click of a button. Why would I ever need a book when I have Mark?

He is the ultimate book on parenting right there. Hey, not to get to graphic or anything, but can you recount? Not recount I don't need like great detail, but will you be able to trace back the date of conception for the kid? Yeah? Yeah, I can. We can trace it back. I mean to a like I don't know about like the exact like we know what month it was, and we know like the week everything happened. So pretty much. Yeah,

spot on, that's crazy to me. I know, it is weird to think that, like we were all conceived that way, you know, like this this is how just life happens. Sex is pretty tight. Yeah, it's pretty cool, pretty cool. I'm not gonna lie. It's good times. Congratulations. I'm sure you heard this joke before, but actually's obviously no longer virgiin and I just wanted to go and congratulate you guys. Hey,

that's right. Oh my god, Ashley is pregnant. Could you imagine like rewinding the clock four years ago and being like that, Ashley the Virgin is now pregnant. The story arc on that is being amazing. You know, It's like it goes into The Bachelor as of virgin and now she's having her first baby with the love of her life that she also met on that same TV show. It's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty insane. Obviously, I'm gonna be talking a lot more over the course in the next

months about you know, our pre Ashley's pregnancy. I know, all right, she gets so mad, which I don't blame her now, I get mad at myself anytime I say we're pregnant. It's like no, no, no no, no, Ashley is doing all the work. I'm just here to, you know, hold her hand and tickle our arms sometimes and let her her know that it's going to be okay. Um, but we love you guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. I can't tell you how much I appreciate how much Dean and I appreciate you guys listening to

the podcast week after week after week. It means the world to us. We love doing this. We feel super honored to have this platform every week, So please keep be emailing us, follow us on social media. Uh, we love talking to you guys, and uh, you know we'll see us soon. Follow hell by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio, or wherever you left in the podcast. M