Crushing Hard with Annaliese Puccini

I'm not back in San Francisco. I have a new puppy who you may hear in the background, little baby. What's the dog's name? Posey posy? Why posey? Uh? Like pocket full of posies? I want to kind of like an old fashioned name, and I don't know just fit. I guess it's probably like I don't know if you if you will, you guys found a name already, But do you? Did you try out names for a while? Like with the baby coming, were you like walking our

the house trying different names? Because I feel like that's what I was doing. I was kind of like, oh, maybe it's this today, and I'd try it for a day and I'm like, that doesn't like fit. No, in the most Ashley fashioned ever, She's had this name picked out for a long time and I either was with it or I was going to get with it, and I was with it, luckily, So Dawson was like heard. She wanted to Dawson boy, girl didn't matter, and I said, I'd like it for a boy, and if it's a girl,

we might have to talk more. And it was a boy, so it was Dawson, um And at least to your credit, That's what Caitlin and I did when we got our new puppy, Alistair. I knew right away I wanted him name Alister. I knew like the second I saw him that his name was Alistair. And Caitlin, for some reason, wasn't really sold on the idea. So she would walk around the house calling different names, and then she would

be like, all right, let's name him Alister. And then like a day later she'd be like, no, let's name him Lester, or let's name him Martin or something like. Every day she would change your mind on it, and then eventually I was like, look, we don't have to name Alister, but we have to decide on the name pretty soon, because we can't just go around every single day of the dog's life calling him a different name, and then eventually we settle on alistair. But so posey

is a good. Possy is good. It reminds me of James Posey, who was a great basketball player for the Denver Nuggets for a couple of years. So I'm all on board with the name Posey for sure. I got a question about posey. You said a pocket full of posey. I mean, does that mean posies are a small bouquet of flowers? The direction meaning of posies is full disclosure. I thought it was pocket full of roses. Isn't that nursery rhyme about like the bubonic plague or something like that.

It's something like that. I did like a ton of research because I was like, I don't want to be running around calling O posy and then uh, you know, yeah, that's not or it's like somehow like a derogatory term used back in like the seventeen hundreds or whatever it was, exactly you never know these days. That's good. I did the same thing with the word um oh. I can't remember what it was, but it was like it was a that you believe all been using since we were

like six years old. And then I said it once, like a week or two ago, and I was like, wow, that word sounds really bad, and I googled it and the first thing that came upen Google was all those words sounds really bad. It's actually not, and I was like, oh, thank goodness, that's really good. It was like nincompoop, but it wasn't incompoop, but it was like something along those lines, What a great name, what a great word. Maybe it

was maybe it was jankie. I think he was. Jankie was the word, which which sounds like it could be,

but maybe maybe it's different word. I'm sorry, I only said no. I'm in San Francisco and Buster Posey was like all over the news when I first got her, and so everyone was like, oh, you named d after Buster Posey, which I mean maybe a little bit because he's very beloved in San Francisco, so he was a catcher for a while, right, uh something like that is probably no, but yeah, he was like all over the

news and everyone loves him here. So every time I say her name is Posy, they're like, oh, like Buster like, if she has a brother, then we'll name him Buster. Maybe. So okay, So I gotta ask, what, um, what made you get out of Hawaii? Uh? So, island fever is a real thing. I had no idea, but I came. I left the island for like I'm supposed to be. I think ten days ended up being like three weeks. I was like, I don't really want to go back.

The thing I started realizing there is as much as I loved the lifestyle and the weather and like surfing and doing all the things, I just really felt like there weren't enough opportunities for me there. And so just like it, I don't know, it, just it felt right. And then I came back and I spent time a ton of time in Tahoe and um and being around my family a lot again. And so I feel like, right now this is just where I need to be. But I'm I'm a little wonder last. You guys know that.

So who knows where I'll be next, But I'm planning my next big adventure. Yeah, well, you know, it's okay to be wonder lost. It's okay to be lost. I think we're meant to be a little bit lost. Um so island fever. What you what you mean by that is like you just kind of like you crave going back to like a bigger city. You you get stuck in the monotony of the day to day island life. Like what exactly is island fever. It's the weirdest thing because people would talk about it and I'm like, what,

There's no way I'm going to get that. This is so beautiful and then just one day it hit and I was like, get me off this island, Like it just feels like it's the thing is so I like to travel, and I like to be able to be mobile, and like I like road trips and so being able to get in the car and drive like an hour and be someplace totally different, or drive a couple of hours and be in a different state, Like on Mauie.

You could drive forty five minutes and you're like on the other side of the island, you know what I mean, and you're just you're like okay, and you sort of and I'm not like down playing Mauie. Oh, I think it's incredible and a wonderful place to Like I think if I was raising a family, maybe it would be a totally different story. But I was single and I was like, I'm not meeting anyone. It's still a pandemic. Like it just felt very you felt very locked in

and like you couldn't. That feeling of not being able to leave just makes you all of a sudden be like, oh my gosh, I'm itching. I got I have to get off. I feel like it's similar to like growing up an aspen, where a lot of the people that you meet that you can like potentially be romantic with um are like they're on vacation and they're not there for like a permanent amount of time, so it's hard to like form a connection with them. So I can

definitely understand where you're coming from. Well, two things come to mind, because you said interestingly enough that if you were raising a family, you'd stay in Maui, which I feel like it's a complete opposite at least in my mind. Don't people go to Hawaii when they're single? I because I guess the second thing was this is definitely stereotypical. But when I think of people moving to Hawaii, I think of just Paul Rudd from Forgetting Sara Marshall, And

that is your future right there. You don't it's Jason Siegel. Come on, no, it's Paul Rudd. He's the one who lives in Hawaii. Starstructor, right, but Jason Siegel is the one that's visiting Hawaii. Yeah, but when when someone moves to Hawaii, I think of Paul Rudd where he's like, I don't even wear a watch anymore. On here, bro, it's on my cell phone. Yeah. I was Jason Segel going to Mary acent. That was my storyline. Basically, I went post breakup and then he ended up showing up

with his new girlfriend. So I was I was him, but but then I needed to get back and find my malacunas though we're still working on that. But so update us then on your on your romantic situation, because last we talked to you, you were you were dating a guy in Hawaii. I thought, I mean, yeah, I've dated. I would say, like the last couple of years. I just I kind of keep my private life a little

bit more private these days. Um, but you know, I dated somebody for like six months and then it's just life is still I feel like it's still really crazy. So um, and especially because I'm a mobile person, it's sometimes hard to find somebody who's just like in the same place at the same time as I. Um so that was part of the problem. He was he's a little bit of that personality type too, and so he moved back to South Africa. So like, so, I feel

like it's you know, it's just tricky. But what do you mean You're you're mobile, Like you always want to be on the move. You never want to be stuck in one place kind of. Yeah, I like the idea of having a base, Like so San Francisco is my base, but I love the idea of being able to travel

most of the time, and I try. I try to do that as much as possible, and I think I'm pretty good at like having a balance between being with my family and being stationary in San Francisco, but then also going to Tahobe in l A, going to MAUI, going to Europe, like I try to do as much as I can. But I feel like, Dean, you do that really well actually too, Yeah, I was. I was going to say, exactly what you're describing is exactly how Caitlin and I have worked out, too, And it's great,

it's perfect. You can I'm in Las Vegas for a couple of days, and then I got to leave for a couple of weeks, come back to Vegas for a couple of days. You know, it's I became friends with Um. I don't know if you're familiar with the bucket List family, I'm familiar with them. Yeah yeah, so um so I'm friends with them. And they actually lived in the same town as me and Mawi. So um they helped to me move into my place. Like they're awesome, but um, but yeah, I love their lifestyle. Like I look at

them and they're just goals to me. And that's I guess when I'm saying to raise a family there. What I loved about Maui was it's safe. You're in nature, You're you're you're exposing your kids not to like sitting in front of a TV, but instead like going surfing or going hiking or skateboarding or whatever, and you're just soaking up that sun. And um, getting to know people like your community is very different there. I felt like such a sense of community in Maui, more than I

ever have anywhere in my life. How did you end up meeting the Buckless family? So funny story. I met Jessica on a plane like super she was. She was first class and I was not. I was flying from Arizona back to San Francisco and she was. I passed her, but I didn't, like I had been recognized on planes before, and it's really uncomfortable because then you're like on the plane the whole time, everyone's like who is she? Who is she? And You're like, I have nobody. Um so

he was. I didn't want to make a scene about it, so I messaged her on Instagram and I was like, hey, uh, I'm on the same plane as you. I would love to stay high at the end of this plane. And she was. She waited for me and we said hi to each other. And she had been like following me and I, you know, so like she was familiar with who I was. But but anyways, and then we just became friends from there. And that's like the beauty about social media is just you you can meet people from

all walks of life and get connected to people. But then she was so sweet, Like I had to quarantine for two weeks in my house on Mallie and she would come to my driveway and just wave to me because her leave and and uh, and give me a little like visits from the sidewalk, and then she helped me move to my apartment that I was in for the majority of my my stay there. And yeah, I surfed with Garrett and they're just an awesome family. I

love them nice. They must be Uh, she must be a Bachelor fan or something, because I remember that she messaged me once a long time ago and I was like, whoa, this person seems like she's living the best life ever. They are They were like way more. I can't remember what season was going on, but I remember they invited me to come watch it one night and I was nice watching this season. Yeah, but yeah, no there and it's like there's just such a community there that they've built.

And so it was really nice to be friends with them because I feel like they were my first friends that then introduced me to a lot of other friends there. So I was I mean, I was so grateful that I had them on now. They were the only people I knew going there, Like, yeah, what part of Mowe did you live in? Uh? So we are on the North Shore in PA. Yeah, I know where that is.

We we went out there for a wedding a year and a half ago, and you know, like the airports I think on the eastern side of the island, and we were staying at a resort on the western side, and there was a big brush fire like right in the middle of the island and there's only like two there's a road up north in a road down south, and both of those roads were closed because of the fire. And so we like we're on the highway for like seven hours and like you said earlier, forty minutes to

get from one time to the other. It was the worst, and like we were looking up to like like you wanted to like at a hotel, but since everyone else is getting stuck, all the hotels were booked, so we just like slept in our car on the side of the highway. It was absolutely miserable. But other than that, Maui was absolutely beautiful. Um. But we're going back actually in a couple of months for a wedding, and if you have any recommendations at some point, you're gonna have

to pass them along to me. Yeah. I actually might be back in a couple of months too. I'm doing a choper a certification course right now to be on the choper Court coach and they're doing a big retreat there, and so I'm like, oh, I might have to go. You're telling me Panka Chopra has her own course deep Chopra. Oh, Deepak Chopra. That would be pretty funny. I yeah, that's your name, right, is what is Deepak Chopra? Feel listen on that a little bit? Like meditation? Uh you Veda

there's yeah, it's it's really interesting stuff. I'm like, still, I feel like I feel like I need I need a tutor though, because I'm really about at all the terminology. But but like the meditation, mindfulness, like better sleep, eating better, like all that, all that sort of stuff, nice stuff that we all could use. I feel like, yeah, it's a good thing to having your back pockets. I was thinking about that today, eating better, because I had a

coffee roll from Duncan. We got a coffee and then I also got a coffee roll because it looked very glazy, and I was in the mood and I was thinking about how I've been eating unhealthier as I've been working more at the coffee shop, and it's only going to progressively get worse now that I'm a dad and I'll be eating probably frozen mac and cheese for my foresuvable future. And that's all that was my thought right there. I gotta get back, I gotta get back into eating healthy

and meditating. And it's very good that you're getting your license to there. But we are dating podcast, and I know you're gonna keep your private life a little bit more private and at last, but I do have to ask, what's the biggest difference between dating in Hawaii and dating in San Francisco? Is there a difference? Do you find that men are different in each city? Well, now there is just no inventory where it was like I had to go like that. That was really yeah, no, because

everyone is families there, or they're in relationships. Like you were saying, like you think of it being a single place, it's a really big like honeymoon spot. It's a great place for people to go as like a couple. So um so a lot of people are in relationships already, So there just weren't that many single people. Are there other places in Hawaii that notoriously are known for being much more single oriented. I'm not sure, but if there were, I probably should have done my research and gown to

one of those beautiful. I bet you like why Kiki and Honolulu are yea why Kiki just sounds like it should be single? Yeah, like, yeah, it's definitely sexy. Yeah. I mean in San Francisco, I just feel like I have options, you know, and and it's I don't know, I feel like it's easier to meet people and just have like a coffee date and put less pressure on

it than in Mali. I was like, there's if I met somebody, I think I had more expectations of like I want this to go someplace because I'm like, you're you're kind of cool, and I haven't really met anyone else in a long time, Whereas now I'm like, okay, you're cool, but onto the next whatever, you know. Um, but no, I've met a really like a lot of really great people, and I mean I'm like talking to

people and things are good. So um, no complaints there, but but I haven't found I know, like in a relationship, let's found the guy. Yeah. You know what you how to do, analyst is uh sign up prayer. Bachelor in Paradise season eight. You know, I always think about you, Deane, because that like since I did the last Bachelor in Paradise. I'm like, no, never again, and I feel like that was totally you where you went on and met Kalin.

I'm like, not a shot in hell. But then I was thinking about it, I'm like, it is still a pandemic and dating now sucks, so I would maybe have to reconsider if it was off. I'll tell you why you should reconsider. And this goes for everyone involved with something like this, where the first couple of times you know, you do it and you're excited and you want to meet someone and you're trying really hard, and then eventually you're just like, screw it, I don't want to go.

And then maybe that you get to the point we're like, okay, fine, I'll go, but I'm not gonna like care at all. I'm not gonna try hard. And that's really what sets you over there, Like that's what really sets you up for success. In my opinion, especially when it comes to this show, is like the less you care, the more likely it is to end well for you for so many reasons, because like, you're not gonna be trying hard,

You're not gonna be trying to force anything. You're like energy will naturally like bring people towards you, because you're probably like one of the few people there that like isn't super high strung the entire time. So I just wouldn't. I would say, don't count it out. But when you ultimately make the decision, I want you to be grudgingly accept and like go into it with that attitude, you know, like I don't need to be here, Why am I here? And then sure enough it's gonna work out perfectly. I

think that's how it have to be. Like I'm not going to go in right at this moment. I wouldn't be going in like oh my god, I'm so excited. I'd be like, oh my god, I'm doing this again. Okay, we'll see. If anything happens, anything comes from it, so be it. But I mean I think it would happen if I went on, though, it would have to be somebody from like such an old, old old season that like nobody knows about. You know what I mean, that

they just dug out of out of the earth. Is there is there no new contestants that have sparked your eye recently? I don't. I mean, I have not been keeping up as much as maybe I should, But you know, there's I don't know. Come on, now's your chance. Now, time to get it out there, time to get an US Weekly article written about Analys and some prospective suitor of hers. Uh no, there's I mean no, there's some really great guys and Bachelor Nation. I'll say that, but

but I don't know. I think it's so hard because until you actually like meet any of these people, it's just you see them on TV, we have our edits and you or you see them like on social media, and you just get vibes from people um, good, bad or in different So until you actually like meet them in person and see if there's that chemistry, then I don't know. For me, it's hard. Like I've had in the pastor I've seen people, Oh I have such a crush on that person, but there's nobody that I'm like

crushing on. And can we just talk about crushes. I miss having crushes, like I think crushes are the most fun thing. Do you guys stop crushes on your ladies? I was waiting for you. I guess it depends on

your definition of a crush. That was a cop out answer. Yeah, I mean there are definitely times I still have a crush on Ashley, Like upstairs, I was just putting together the changing table and she came up and gave me a hug, and she gave and then she gave me a kiss, and she was just very she was jokingly excited about the kiss, you know. So that was cute.

So that was a fun moment. But also it's a tricky time answer this question because of everything that's going on in the Haben family, Right, yeah, I mean, what do you mean that she's like nine months pregnant? Read it off well, I mean I've heard the stories where she was puking in the toilet and also Pete a little bit at the same time, so she just had

some sort of discharge. So start to have a crush on someone like that, not saying you don't love her, because I know you love her with your whole heart, but it's hard to have like a you're you know, it's heard of. I can only imagine. I don't know exactly I'm I'm projecting here, obviously, Um I'm in the same boat. I have a crush on Kitlin most times.

I mean certainly not all the time. There are times where I'm like, oh, get away from me, But there there are times where I'm like, yeah, okay, cool, this is you know, this is nice. I gotta crush um. Yeah, I don't know. I could. I could picture you with Do you remember the guy from I think he was from Katie season. He was the the widowed father. He's I can't remember his name. He's got like that. It could be Michael, Yeah, it could be he was. He was. He's like a dad. He's a little older. I could

see you guys just really by. So it's funny my mom said him. But then my mom's reason always is like she always goes, oh, but I think he doesn't want to move, or I think he's pretty stationary where he is because he's got a kid or whatever. That's always a big thing. She's always looking out for the moving part. Yeah. Well it's great. It's great that she's got the foresight. She's looking into the future, you know, because yeah, no, my mom and grandma are on there.

They watch everything Bachelor and they are constantly like, oh, I gotta tell you about this, And I'm like, I don't know who these people are. Um, But I like social media. I keep up on it pretty pretty well. I know, I know the gist of what's going on these days. That's good, that's important, and a lot of people don't really take that into consideration when they start dating, especially in Bachelor Nation. You know, they meet on a show.

One lives in California, one lives in New York, and then they get off the show and all of a sudden they have to figure out what they're gonna do with like where are they going to live, who's gonna move to where? And I feel like that's kind of

the demise of a lot of relationships. So it's good to look into that and like, you know, imagine, look, obviously, let's say you're out of Bachelor Um and you're just traveling and you've got your Tinder profile set up, like you gotta take into account a lot of those things like proximity all that kind of stuff. So it's good that your mom and your grandmother are looking out for you like that. Except I'm a mobile person. But no,

I don't know if I could. I don't know where he lives, but I don't know if I could be Like I guess the trickiest thing with that is like starting a relationship um long distance, because it's one thing to move somewhere for someone, But it's another thing to move somewhere for someone that you only known for a couple of days. I'm not saying that it's not impossible, but I know it sounds pretty impossible. Yeah, well, you know it is what it is. All right. Well, we're

gonna take one quick break. We're going to get back to uh have an inn at least co host with us this week, So stay tuned through the break. Will be right back. Okay, everybody, welcome back to help I suck at dating. Jared looks like he's about to ask a question. I feel like that's just my face. I mean I have questions asking at least, but I was

thinking about that the other to day. I have resting question face, resting question face, and I also think I have resting I think I just have resting bitch face. I think that's what it really comes down to. I feel like a lot of people think I'm angry most of the time, and I'm not sure. I think it's my eyebrows. I think you are just an angry person. Um, I've got a question for you before you get to before you get to your questions for analyst and the

dating headlines and all that stuff. I've got a question for you. Um, full disclosure for our audience listening to this. The date is January. It's a Friday. But Jared, um, we're getting pretty close to the due date for you and Ashley, well for Ashley, but you're, you know, by association part of it as well. Yeah, I'll be holding her hand, you know. Um. So what's can you like pill us in on what we can expect in the next week for two, I mean, I'm hoping that uh,

little Dawson enters this world before the next week. So what happened yesterday, uh, Thursday, the twin t seven. I was at work and you know, always trying to figure out when I was going to head down to Virginia. We didn't know when the baby was going to come. Obviously, my presence just needed at the coffee shops, so just

balancing both. And then Ashley called me after her doctor's appointment and she said, my doctor said that I'm three centimeters dilated and like the way my body is progressing right now, she really thinks that my water could break within the next eight hours. So obviously I needed to get down in Virginia immediately. Especially there's a giant snowstorm about to hit the northeast that they're going to get like two ft of snow, So I would have been

stuck there, possibly for a couple of days. So I knew I had So I just left work, went to the airport, flew here, and Ashley's fine. You know, we're not She's not in labor. Her water hasn't broken. But last night she started getting cramps, which apparently is a sign that she might go into labor pretty soon. And she's also getting she called them lightning. I don't know lightning. You just get like little, uh lashes of pain and

you know down there. And I think these are all signs that the baby's coming within the next couple of days. So I'm thinking within the next week, we're very much in store for little Dawson to enter this world, which is very exciting. Um and surprisingly I said this on Instagram, and I really, I really meant it. I feel calm. I'm not sure if I should feel calm. I don't know if I'm naive, but um, you know, not that we're ready to be parents. I don't think anybody's ever

fully ready to be a parent. You have to take care of another human being. But I'm just not scared um, which I think is a good sign. I guess we'll find out unless I talked to you in a week and I'm like I was wrong. I'm crying, i haven't slept, I'm starving. This kid is runing my life. I don't think that's gonna be a case. But yeah, that's what you can really expect over here. Other than that, UH just gonna uh you know, uh continue doing the damn thing.

There's like it's just crazy because it's just like we're all waiting, like okay, it's just whenever he's ready, and he's moving a lot. Today he like he's moving. It's not so much as Ashley was describing it, where he's moving and he's kind of just rolling over and nobody can see me doing this because we're a podcast, but I'm miming the motion of rolling over. Like you can feel his shoulder. Today it felt like he was like reaching out like like really hands moving elbows, like big

punches almost because actually, like it's it's really funny. There'd be moments actually just sitting there and she's like oh, it's like she's like, oh my God, he's just like really pressing against my ribs. Um, but it's pretty cool. And uh, putting the crypt together, excuse me, the changing table. It's been fun putting together the assortment of different baby uh paraphernilia that we have. But it's no under dads know how to do everything or I know how to

put everything together. It's just like you learn on the fly. Now that I look back, all the dads how to put all this together. Of course they know how to put like shelves together. That's easy compared to this stuff. Um, so that's my life right now. So, um, you're prepared. It sounds like you're ready. Yeah, we're all right. You know, we're fine. And Dawson is like in the proper position that it needs to be, because I understand like he has to be like in the perfect position in order

to be birthed properly. Right Yeah, dude, it's I mean, he's looking good right now. It's crazy though, like my sister got induced and holyash, that just sounds like, oh Anna, least you guys are the stronger gender. I'll tell you that. What does it mean? It means that like you are you, it's time for the baby. To come, and they're going to force this baby to come. Signals to your body so that your your body says okay, I'm ready. When I've got a little bit of toothpaste left in my

tooth paste tube and I squeeze it out. Is that what they're doing, Like they're squeezing out that Actually okay, I think that's that's actually what the doctor said. He's like, do you guys know like okay gets towards the end, it's like that. But yeah, but like if you get induced, that's not ideal. And like the baby, like my sister, the baby wasn't facing in the right direction, so she had to be like on her hands and knees for hours to try to get the baby to roll over.

Oh god, poor, It should be fine. It's actually gonna do like uh like I mean, I I am so oblivious to all of this birthing stuff, so welcome to the club. Is she gonna like take pain killers and stuff for the birth? I would imagine everyone does that nowadays, right, Like she's gonna pop a couple of as good to go.

But you know, like there's something there's some people that are like I'm going on natural no pain killers, And every time I hear that, I mean, obviously I'll never experience out birth, so I can't imagine how bad it is. But I'm always like, why would you just take like the pain killers to alleviate the pain that you're about to go through? In actually is very excited to get the eperdoral which will be coming. Uh yeah, so I hope, you know, as long as everything goes smoothly, she won't

feel a thing, which is very nice. Um, but but yeah, that's that's where we're at right now. So just kind of waiting for the baby to come. And so for for all of our faithful listeners out there for help, I secred dating. We imagine we're probably gonna be Jared lists for a couple of episodes, right or I mean, what you know, I really care about I only I care about Dawson, don't getting wrong. But what I really

care about is your activity with this podcast. So this year for a couple of weeks, a couple of months, is this your official retirement? What's going on? I don't think so, because honestly, I'll just that's the That's what doesn't scare me. It's like, oh, I have to record by podcast. When I'm recording the podcast, will make sure that Ashley is on duty. And then when Ashley is recording the podcast, I'll be on duty, you know, Son, we can we get Dawson to h guest host this

podcast with us at least. Yeah, I mean he might cry throughout it, so I guess we're gonna really find out, but we'll see. I mean, if there's anything like his mother, he will be crying seven on this podcast. Let's be honest with ourselves. I think him crying is um not a far step away from basically what we do every week on this podcast. Anyways. Yeah, I know, I almost feel bad for the poor kid. He's got like the blunt.

I just hope he has like the good attributes of Ashley and Mine's personality, because when I think about like combining mine and Ashley's personality into one human being, it could be disastrous. Yeah, well, okay, let's think about let's let's formulate what that would be like real quick. If if if Dawson could take your best attributes and Ashley's best attributes, what would be like? I would definitely I hope he gets Ashley's um um. While I'm going to

say the word improperly. God, this word island. Education has failed me once again. Tenaciousness. Oh yeah, tenacity, sure, tenacity, Thank you to nash What did I say something like that? I hope yeah, he gets Ashley's tenacity and her her belief in in in in accomplishing the things that she wants to accomplish. She's like very like, I'm going to do this, and I can do this, and I'm gonna go after it. And that's something she's really taught me.

And I hope he gets that. And if I hope that he gets for me at least maybe uh uh patients his ability to maybe uh see multiple sides of of one particular issue, or see multiple perspectives, to have an understanding that maybe not everything in life is going to go your way, or uh you know how grateful we are to like have a roof over her head. Uh. So certain attributes like that I hope he gets. But also he could like just get severe anxiety from both

of us and just not good. But is that the is that the worst thing you think you could pass down to him is your anxiety? Um? I don't know that's a good question. I don't even want to think about like passing down my worst qualities because because everybody, I mean every we're all in our own heads, so we know every thought that goes through this little brain of ours, some bigger than others my little brain, and um,

it's not all roses, it's not all good things. So you know that, Like you have the capability of being like a sick person every once in a while, and so I'm like, I hope, like, I hope I don't pass that down to him, you know, but if he has anxiety, he's going to have the best to teachers to help him get through any moments. So we always are we always are the best teachers though, like when we when we have it, you know, have gone through things on our own, so you know, look at it.

I appreciate that. I hope that's the case. I guess we're gonna find out, but we will definitely talk more about baby behavior coming on the way. But at least I do want to talk to you more. I want to answer some emails with you, and I also want

to talk about a p underscore unwritten. Yeah, I want to find out more about that and what that's about, because I actually thought of something well reading about your book and I want to touch on it right after the break, stay tuned, welcome back to help I suck at dating, And like I talked about before the break, Analysea,

I wanted to talk about your book ap Underscore Unwritten. UM, I know you've been working on it for quite some time, so tell us a little bit about it and what what we can expect and when we can expect it. So I'm so excited because this has been a labor of love, a total passion project that I've been hoping would come out sooner, but we finally. Uh, it's going

to be out in February, so that's super exciting. It is a collection of my art and poetry that journeys through my neuro diversity, UM, body image, and then it's just love, heartbreak and healing. So I really they want to I just want this to be something to help people who are especially neuro divergent. I built it mostly for people who just think differently. And uh, and I'm actually I'm excited because I know the Elizabeth on Clayton season, Um, she suffers with a d h D and that was

like quite a big topic I guess in Bachelor Nation recently. Um, so I'm excited to be like another voice of somebody who just has neuro diversities and is able to um to inform people on on this matter, but also to help people through there. Yeah, excuse me for my ignorance, but what is neurodiversity and do you just do you think differently? Um? So it's basically it's like the politically correct version of learning disabilities. It's like the new way

of saying learning disability. Yeah, so I didn't know. I'm really excited to share it with everyone. It's um it's a little interactive. It's basically like an art journal kind of feel to it. And so I want people to be able to to write and draw and use their

creativity to help them process things. And for me, being ner a divergent that has done something that's really been what has helped me like succeed as a person is my creativity and help me process things is being able to get my feelings down on paper through poetry, not just like how not just writing you know, I'm not good like writing in a journal, but being able to put it in kind of this um cryptic format sometimes is a much easier way for me to get my

emotions out or to draw, and so I just, yeah, I'm I'm excited because I think that this is going to be helpful to a lot of people, and so like that's at the end of the day. I want

somebody to feel seen. I want them to feel like like it's I've been thinking a lot about this thought of it inclusion lately, and I feel like I've always seen myself represented in you know, magazines, and like I've seen a white blonde girl, but I've I've never really known people that have narrow diversities, and so I've always felt super different. But I don't look different, so people

don't ever you know what I mean. Like I just always feel like the dumb blonde but really there's so much more to me and and um, I don't know. I'm like, I've gotten really fascinated with the brain recently, especially my brain and getting it studied next month. I'm so excited. Uh so that's going to be a fun little thing to look out for too. But um, yeah, we all just think differently and process things differently, and so I just want people to not feel alone and

have another outlet to be able to process things. Yeah, that's great. I wish that there was more celebration for the nearrow diversities. I've never heard it been called that before, but I like that a lot because think about if everyone in the world out the same way, like nothing would get accomplished. I think the celebration celebration of like the new diversities like learning impairments or le're just learning

things differently and expressing it differently. It's like so important to It's like art and culture and innovation and all those things. So it's so so strange that it's like it's definitely been stigmatized, especially over the past few decades, but like it's so crucial and so important in so many ways, and I don't know enough about it. So I'm gonna like try to choose my words carefully, but it sounds it sounds like what you're doing is great, and uh, you know, of course it's all even like

just talking about it, I think is so important. So props to you, kudas to you for getting a book out there about it too. I can't wait to get my hands on it. Uh do I get a sign copy? Do we get a signed copy here? That help I started? Or absolutely me? It'll be out in February. Um So follow my ap unwritten or analyts p for all the details on the exact date, because it's going to be a little bit of like a surprise launch. So it will be in February. Okay, very cool. I'll be looking

forward to it. It's very exciting. Congratulations. That's awesome. Especially it's a book. I like the aspect of it not just being a book that you read, but a book that you interact with. Yeah. I'm a big big fan of picture. It's not a big fan of words personally. Same.

I mean, it's always been really hard for me to get through a book, and so for me, I just wanted to create something that I felt like if I was getting it, I would read it, you know, like as a neuro divergent person, it's something that speaks to me. And so I feel like there's probably somebody else that's going to pick up this book and be able to get through it and be like, oh I got through a book, you know. So so that's kind of exciting to you said, your brain is getting studied. What is

that entail? Uh? So there's this doctor in southern California that is going to be doing brain scans on me in March, and I'm like, this has been literally a manifestation of mine for a while because I had a team of like specialists that I was working with basically through my youth, UM hearing specialists, I specialists, UM all sorts of cognitive development, and I haven't had that support

in such a long time. And I feel like, you know, with like the last couple of years especially, I've really struggled with feeling like getting my brain up to up to par because I'm not being supported in any sort of way and so, um, so I'm curious to just see how my brain has changed, how it's developed over the years, you know, with like anxiety, traumas, alcohol, like all of these things that I've had since I was tested as a child have really changed. So I'm curious

to see where I'm at now. That's so crazy. It's insane that you're able to tell those things by a brain scan. I guess I'm so accustomed to like viewing the a lot of those things as feelings rather than something physical that you can extract data from. But no, that's in the brain and you might be a good for you. I'm very excited for the results of that. I hope you are willing to come back and help I second dating and share what the brain scan shows,

because I'm absolutely gonna share it. I think for me, it's like my super hero. But I I really want to be able to know what I'm dealing with so that I can tap into it and use my brain for the best, you know, in the best way that I possibly can. But but so, a funny story about my hearing is that I don't hear certain sounds, and then there's other sounds that I hear at a very high frequency. So I used to be able to tap into conversations like across the room at a bar. Um.

And when I was having my hearing tested. One time I had it was in a sound proof booth. I had the headphones on and I was like, I can't concentrate. I hear something. Um, So I walked around. I was hearing the elevator shaft going in the building and so um. I actually had the FBI recruit me twice because of my hero. That's like, that's my little fun fact. Yeah I know, uh yeah, So I mean I think it's

really cool. I think the brain is fascinating. I think It's so cool that we all think differently and learn differently. And I just think, like I always felt like the dumb kid because I think differently and I'm not dumb, and so I think it's really it's so important for us to like celebrate our differences. And I think that's something that, like a society, we're all starting to do a little bit more of. But um, but I want to just keep pushing in and keep keep bringing awareness

to it. So absolutely, um, Analyies, Well, thank you for sharing that with us. We're excited to see a p unwritten come out soon. Sounds like in a couple of weeks. Uh, the surprise drop as you called it. Thank you for guest co hosting with us. I know as the help I suck at dating. Listeners are out there probably thinking themselves, Wait, this episode can't be over because we love Analyze. Well, don't you, guys worries? Because we have two more episodes

coming up with Analyse. Um, we're gonna wrap this episode up for now. Be sure to tune in on February one and then again on February three, because Analyze will be guest co hosting all those episodes with us. So um, thank you guys for listening Analyse. Thank you for sharing your journey and sharing a little bit more about your book. Like I said earlier, we're excited to have you keep guest co hosting with us, So thank you all for

joining us. Be sure to tune in on February one, because maybe we're gonna suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast