Courthouse I Do’s

Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds with Dean Angler, Helen Lurkey, and Jared haven An.

iHeartRadio podcast.

What is going on? Everyone?

Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? And it turns out today one of us sucks at being on time right now, and it's not me, So I can I can make that joke right now.

We got to me.

We got shared sitting in his master sweet at home. I'm sitting in my living room and sweet Sweet Kaylen is struggling to find some recording space, which is a bummer because I want to hear all about her bridle shower.

Dean's playing with filters right now. So you definitely you did not show up to the bridle shower.

I did not show up to the bridle shower. I showed up that night and it was just late and they were already like out partying, and she was like, I'm with my girls, and then my brother was out with his wife at dinner, and I was just like in purgatory, where you know, I didn't want to meet up with people that were out partying, and I didn't want to crash my brother's date.

With his wife. So what'd you do? I went home and went to bed.

Sounds like a great, great night. I'm not gonna lie.

Oh man.

It was one of those situations where I felt really guilty though, because you know, I'm laying in bed and my brothers like, come out and meet us. We're, you know, we're out celebrating Ashley's birthday. And I was like, Oh, I'm in bed and it's so comfortable. There's no way I'm leaving. But you feel feel bad about it obviously.

Yeah.

I mean you'll be fine. You'll have plenty of other times to go drinking. I mean, how many times will you have to sit in your bed and watch the office?

Oh? Not many, that's true, Not very many.

Not many.

You're about to get married, You're like's about to change, man, and then you're gonna have kids, and then it's just gonna be all downhill.

But in the best way possible.

That's part of it, though, is because they have a kid. My brother and his wife have a kid the same age as you, and so you you know, they know how and I know and you know how rare it is for them to like have a night out for themselves. They hired us sit or they were like out until one am.

You know, Oh man, they had this nice so maybe you should have went. Never mind, maybe you are a jerk.

Right, That's why I feel bad. But then like that's like obviously separate from the bridle shower. So the bridle shower went over really well as far as I was able to gather. You know, Kaylen's mom was in town, her grandma, her a bunch of her friends, and then some of her local friends were all here. And although we didn't see I didn't get to see him on Saturday,

Did anybody give you crap for not going? Did like the grandma get a little pussy?

No?

No, everyone is pretty understanding, which was nice because it made me feel like a lot less guilty.

But at the same time, I don't know.

I've gone back and forth on whether I should feel guilty about this or not.

I like do, but I don't, you know, I mean, it really does Klen care if Kylen doesn't care.

You have no reason to care. No, Kaylen was like, if you were there, it would have been weird.

Oh okay, see it's differ with Ashley. If I wasn't there, it would have been weird.

Go to Ashley.

Yeah, so because she just wanted the whole hope, here comes the husband at the end, and I lugged the gifts into the car and then that's really my responsibility for the evening.

Yeah, yeah, we didn't really get We got a couple gifts, but none of them are like big gifts for like that would have been hard to.

Are you doing a wedding registry.

We are doing a wedding registry.

We had a pizza maker oven pizza oven on there, and we got two of those on this weekend, So now we need to update our pizza oven there.

I mean, it's pretty nice. I think I don't know the price, and I don't.

Want to getting you a pizza oven that seems like pricey thousands of dollars worth.

No, no, no, it's less than a thousand. I think if I were to guest, like seven hundred bucks, all.

Right, well that's more reasonable people pay that stuff for, like silverware for a wedding.

Yeah, that's true. It's it's like a portable pizza oven. It's actually really cool. We mean pizzas with it the other day and they're but her friends pulled money together and then got her a pizza oven, but it was like back ordered, so they only get they gave her like the voucher for the pizza oven. And then the next day, Kalen's mom comes over to our house for that you know, that day gathering, I guess you could call it, and she shows up with a full pizza oven.

Oh well wait, doesn't it show on your registry when somebody already buys it.

Yeah, that's what I don't understand either.

I've never really seen this registry, so I wish Kayleen was here so we could talk to her about it. But then my brother's wife was like, yeah, I saw on the registry that the pizza oven still hasn't been purchased yet, so there might be a third pizza oven coming at some point.

Oh Jesus, well, I guess you could never have enough pizza ovens my question. Yeah, so whoever bought the pizza oven? Whoever gave you the voucher? Kaln's friend, I think screwed it up. But then again, if the pizza oven is still on there, and who else did you say bought.

A pizza oven?

No, Kalen's mom, Kalen's mom, ye out, Kailn's mom screwed it up. So I think something's wrong with the registry.

I would agree with that. It seems fitting for everything that's going with our wedding so far. Is just something wrong every step of the way.

I got news for you.

If I go on that registry and there's a pizza oven still available, Ashley and I will be getting you a pizza oven.

I feel really weird about the registry, and I'm sure you probably did too. Like just to like make a list of things that I want you guys to buy us like that just feels weird to me.

It's so weird, it's but what made me feel better about it is that they're just gonna buy things anyway and spend money on things that we probably will never use, and so it's better if we just make a list and say, hey, please buy us this, this is what we want. This is what you should use your money for. And it's weird and it's stupid, but it's just the way weddings go.

Yeah.

Well, we're lucky enough to be joined by an angel herself tuning in from the pearly gates because she is heavenly looking. I don't even know where I'm going with this. Hey, Caylen, welcome to the podcast.

Hello, Hello, sorry late Uh. Any time you blink, I can't take you seriously?

Why because my glasses are not.

Okay, Well, that's funny because every time I blink, my eyes were closed, so I can't see that.

That's so funny. I thought this were your real classes when I got in here.

It's pretty good filter. They're doing pretty bang up job.

They do look exactly like your real classes.

It's my style. Will try not to blink for the rest of the episode. Then, well, welcome to the podcast, Kaylen. So for the listeners out there, Kaylin is in Los Angeles right now. I'm in Las Vegas, and so that's why we're separated.

At the moment.

We were just talking about wedding registries Kilen and about how Jared said it's good to have a registry because otherwise people just show up with random stuff, and this way you can at least have some say in what you get.

That's true.

And I know there's one registry that if you it'll like, let you accept it at the gift otherwise you can take the money. I don't know if that's our registry, but I know there's one, which is a good idea.

Why would you put a gift on the registry if you're not going to accept it.

Because imagine just having a blank registry where it's just like give us money.

It's like a sneaky way to get money from your guests.

Yeah, you guys are gonna get money anyway, I'm telling you.

I mean I would rather just that. Like, I don't again, I don't even want people to give us money or anything. Really, I just want people to show up to our wedding. That's enough of a gift for me. But like, if we have the choice between two thousand dollars and a bunch of random stuff that we're probably only going to use once and never use again, give me the two thousand dollars, you know.

Yeah, I think the biggest thing we wanted on our registry were pool loungers and we got them.

Well, yeah, we got we got those for free, which were nice. Oh my gosh, pool loungers, Jared, are so expensive. How much was it fifteen hundred apiece?

Yeah, so three grands are you? Whoa what do you mean a pool lunder like one of those blow up floaties.

No, it's like go in your.

Pool, so you're like just barely sitting in the water, but can lay out in tan.

And it's like installed in the pool.

No, it's just like these two chairs.

It's like a chair.

It's a chair that's like outfitted to sit in the pool permanently.

But this chair better give you massages. For fifteen hundred dollars.

Doesn't even do that. But they're nice and we did get some.

Kalin's grandparents are graciously gifting us their pool loungers because they know how badly we want them and how stingy I am. So we're excited for those in the pizza oven. I was just telling them about the pizza oven debacle. How we have two of them?

Yeah, yeah, I texted the girls and told them not to buy us the other one.

Well, I don't get it. What kind of registry is this where you It doesn't why our registry are line one? If you buy it it like says someone bought it.

Yeah, so I tried to delete one off of our registry and it did an update, so there were two.

Yeah, well it is what it is. Now we've got ten.

Now you've got two pizza ovens, you know what, So Dean, you can have so when you guys are making pizza, you can just use your own oven. Yeaheah, you don't in these pool loungers.

Yeah.

Yeah, fourteen hundred dollars. Wait a minute, no, that's not it frequently brought together. Yeah, fourteen hundred dollars. I mean they're very nice.

That could be the ones that we got, because that seems about the price for But.

What they just don't seem are they that are all right? If your grandparents didn't gift you these, would you say, like, okay, this is worth the money.

We probably would have bought them, and I'm just looking it up.

Maybe we were wrong.

Maybe it's I'm looking at eight hundred per one right now, so maybe it was sixteen hundred total for the.

Two of them.

Maybe, But it's nice, especially in Vegas because it's like, what one hundred and ten degrees so you can sit in the pool layout like it's worth it for Vegas.

Yeah, it's nice, nice to have you.

I would not be worth it for Rhode Island, where we'd use it three months out of the year.

Right, But you guys have a pool. Oh yeah, built it myself.

That's such bullshit speaking of things that you built yourself. How is that toilet set coming out? Douzi it the toilet seat? Oh, the truck toilet seat? No, no, no, no, that's next time we record this podcast, I will be on day one of my trip and I probably still will not have used it at that time. But trust me, the second I use it, you guys will be the first to be updated. Can you just take your van to like the woods somewhere near you and just test

I need to know he did get these.

There's these poop bags, and I thought they were Al's poopbags, but they're human poopas.

Yeah, they're poop bags, but made for humans.

Wait a minute, so you tell me now, because first of all, you said that you dig a hole. Now you're saying you're going to poop into a bag, dig a.

Hole, put the bag in the hole.

No, no, no, I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure what I described to you guys last time was digging a hole is option two. Digging, I'm sorry, using a plastic bag is option one. If you have bags, use them. If you don't have a bag, and you're going to pinch, dig a hole. So I don't want to have to dig any holes because it's it's you know, it's bad for you to put that into the earth because our diet is so artificial, I guess from all the food that we eat, so it's like it doesn't

So you're telling me that you're gonna take a ship outside your van in a bag and then tied up and then throw it in some garbage on the side of the road.

Yeah, I need to figure out how I'm going to dispose of it. I'm sure there's like human waste disposals that you can find, but one key factor is it's not my van, it's my it's the truck that I'm taking.

The van is you should get those little things we used on the rafting trip and just put all your poop in there.

Uh oh, what do they call that a girdle?

No, it starts with a g R, doesn't it. It's like it's not grout, but it's something.

Because it's it makes lines on your legs and that's what they named it after I can't remember what it's called.

But yeah, I should. I should get one of those.

Yeah, anyways, we are talking about poop too much on this podcast in the in the past two weeks.

I mean, dude, well, I'm saying, you know, uh, Dawson has his little uh you know, diaper trash can one? Am I thinking of it's like the old one? You could just get one of those. Yeah, there you go.

I should, But there's issues with that, like I would have to lug it around in the truck bed, which is where I'm sleeping. So I don't really want to be that close to human feces.

Yeah, nobody does, which is why you should use a toilet. Well, of course, if I have an option to use the toilet, I'll use the toilet. But like this is a This is like to prevent me from having to squat behind a tree, Yeah, sitting on some sort of steel rock poop.

Well, and Kaylin knows, like, when I have to poop, all all all of my other like fight or flight reactions go out the wayside. When I have to poop, the only thing I can do is run to the toilet.

Are we not moving on from poop?

I just want to I want people to understand how much of an emergency it is whenever I have to poop.

Yeah, I think there's something that you need to get checked out medically.

Yeah, follow with you. I wouldn't disagree with you. I think that there might be something medically wrong with me down there.

Lately, this is the last thing I'll say on poop, But lately, when Tane has to go, he's like, and it's like shocks through his body. And I'm like, that shouldn't be a pain you feel when you have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah, I've got like like prostate cramps, not cramps, but like shooting pains in my prostate. So I think I might need to get checked for early prostate cancer.

Yeah, definitely get checked on that. Ashley gets concerned with how much I go?

Yeah, how many times a day? Would you say? Four?

Uh? No, no, you go four times?

I say four is like a high end, but I would say between two and four. Yeah, you go way more than two, but less than four.

I don't know.

Every time you go like you go, it's not like, oh that was that was like a half one.

Well, there are times where just nothing comes out.

Okay, this is too much.

You have times where it like comes out and then you go to wipe and nothing's there.

Yeah, well I've used it. I use a bod day, so usually nothing's ever there, which is nice. But there are times where I go to the bathroom, done with my duties, clean it up down there, and then I about to put my pants up, and I'm like, oh wait, no, I'm definitely not done.

You use a bidet. Oh my gosh. It's the best life changing experience.

I don't get you. Why you because when you're in a structured building you use a bidet. You fancy, little boy, But then you're gonna go out in your truck and have this steel rod and then poop in a bag and then sleep next to it.

Hey, I'm an anomaly. I like it. I like it all. I like it dirty, and I like it clean. I like all the things. I do.

Use wet wipes though, when I'm out outdoors and I don't have the luxury of a bidet, and I recommend it.

Flushable wet wipes are the BEA's knees, dude, not the man. Why don't we always talk about poop on this podcast.

That's somebody clock.

I got to move on.

I know somebody clogged the toil to Audrey's bro I'm not joking. I tried to plunge, dude.

I tried.

It was disgusting, because listen, that's just part of the job. And I think what happened. I think it was Saturday night. We had a wedding party and they were so drunk, and I think somebody put paper towels down there like a jackass, because dude, I was plunging this thing for legitimately twenty minutes and like it started like overflowing. Sorry, yeah, too much poop talk. I had to call a plumber

I gotta say one one final comment of all the poops I've had as an adult. I haven't gotten hemorrhoid since I was a teenager, and I haven't clogged a toilet since I was like twenty, So I'm doing those things right at least. Yeah, no, no clogged toilets. Anyways, moving on, Caitlin, Jared asked a question earlier to me, and I answered, on your behalf. But he wants to know if you were upset that I missed the bridle shower this weekend, and I.

Said, I phrase it like that.

No, I wasn't, And I said you weren't either, No.

And I think it would have been weird if you came. Also, it was such a busy weekend and everyone keeps thinking

Yeah, so I was the bridle shower.

Yeah, it was so much fun. It was so fun.

We went to Cassie Beach House in Vegas and it's the sister restaurant of Elafonte in La So it's my favorite restaurant. And I got to pick out the menu all my favorite things, and yeah, it was pretty intimate. I came up with all these games, like the best one was where were we? So I printed out ten photos of Dean and I and people had to figure out where we were, and I made it super challenging, but there were prizes.

And I looked at the pictures and it was literally just like a close up, like a tight shot of us. It literally could be anywhere. The only reason I know where it is is because I've got a photographic memory, and so I remember every out that I've worn, and so I could be like, oh Lucia, oh Maldeves.

But how else would anyone else know what outs were in that day in Maldives?

You know?

One of them was Guatemala.

We were standing on top of a volcano, but it just looked like black rocks.

So very challenging, but someone won.

I think who knows you best, who knows the pictures.

Are the best?

Well, actually, there was a tie between two of my friends, Michelle and Ali, So we did a tiebreaker and it was a photo of Orgon. That one was like the easiest one. It was this famous bridge and organ and Michelle won.

Nice congrat's Michelle, my.

Mom, my grandparents, teen siblings, like nobody knew them?

Well of course, because who's going to know?

Are cute little couple photos that we take that are in those colications, But it's still out there.

It's still a fun game. It's still a fun game. Ye, So you had a good time.

And then I was telling him we got two pizza ovens and we came here on Sunday and we hosted some people and it was a great little weekend.

Yeah, it was really fun.

It definitely felt more like a bachelorette, but then like we're family centric, because I feel like bachelorettes are solely just friends and partying.

So it was a good combo of both.

Isn't that what a bridle shower kind of is.

Anyway, it's more family centric than a bachelorette definitely, Yeah, are you having a bachelorette too.

Yeah, in San Diego in August.

Usually I feel like those flip flop you have the Bachelor Vegas Bachelor party and then the bridle shower in San Diego for sure.

But yeah, it was fun and we stayed at the Palms.

The Palms is so nice, and there was a big concert going on lovers and friends.

There was like fifty cent Mary J.

Blige, a bunch of people and apparently like most of them were staying up there as well in the Palms.

Uh sure, and Chris Brown got Chris Brown got in a fight according to the Internet at least.

But yeah, I know, it was a great weekend, even for me. You know, I got to come in.

I gotta see Kalin's family, who we see less of. I feel like like I don't get to see j Lee as often as I do my brothers and sisters so on the.

East Coast, and your family is like drivable, right.

That's well, that's one hundred percent why we don't see them as much obviously. Yeah, so yeah, no, it was great. But Jared, what's going on with you? So you've been you've been single? Dadding on bro week now? How long has it been?

Yeah, it's been a week. Ashley left Thursday. She's coming back though, she's coming back soon ish, uh, so I don't have too much longer before I get into mind. I wanted to play a quick one question game with you, Dean, because you just said that you have a photographic memory and you remember everything you ever wore. So I'm going to give you a softball question, okay, and you better know this because this is so easy, and Caitlin, I want to know if you remember, if you know the answer,

Oh?

Is that the one where I'm in the pool, like we're coming out of the pool soaking lit?

You're no, no, no, no. I'm pretty sure that was your intro for the cast photos when they were released, like, hey, Dean's in Paradise, and release.

The photo two of you in Paradise.

You were not in a pool, You're in front of a pool, yeah, with you know, trees behind you. What shirt?

I'm pretty certain it was like a dark blue slash, black button up short sleeve with white polka dots on it.

So you're saying, it's a short sleeve button up shirt.

What color?

It's like dark blue black, and the sleeves rolled, and there was like a purple cuff on the sleeve. And the polka dots like they're very small polka dots and there's a lot of them.

Caylen, would you concur if you have any memory of this?

I have no memory, but I thought you would be shirtless.

He is not shirtless. There is a nice little vein going down your bible.

Man, I used to be so vascular when I worked out how you need to get back to that.

So, Dean, you are close, but unfortunately your photographic memory has let you down with this softball question because it is not black and navy blue.

You were.

The cuffs are black and navy blue, while the shirt is purple. You reversed the colors.

That's the shirt I'm talking That is the shirt I'm talking about.

No, no, we all I have it. We have it on tape, I know. But look at the You said the cuffs were purple. Your shirt is purple.

Okay, sure I mixed the colors up, but look you see those tiny little polka dots on there.

That's what I was talking about.

You were so close, but you get the colors wrong, so obviously your photographic memory is only like.

Nine, so that count. I'm counting that. Put that in the bank. All right, Jared, Let's do the same thing to you. Hopefully you haven't googled yourself yet.

Let's see.

I know exactly what shirt I was wearing for a Paradise, so don't ask it for a season for season two and three.

Let's just do season two because that's longer ago.

Yeah, I remember it was like a I don't know, pink, I guess like beige, button down and it they had me unbutton it, so I it was not buttoned, and then seasons like pinkish.

No, I wouldn't call it beige. I wouldn't call it beige.

Well, it's like, it's like, hold on, I'm trying to get it's it's pink.

I think you're wanting to say muted pink, not pink pace.

It's like, yeah, not this, but not it's like more like this but not shine.

I'm sorry. The correct answer would have been salmon.

Cut the hell off.

I got it right, all.

Right, Kitlen, you're your turn. You also claim to have a photographic memory.

So yeah, I was wearing a white crap top with a red skirt. No, that was when I was coming down the beach. I'm sorry.

You can't ask a girl this. Of course she's gonna know.

I was just wearing a white strapless top.

Maybe, I mean, maybe you don't know. Oh I got it.

I got it right here, white strapless.

I know.

I was wearing jean shorts.

Oh man, oh yeah right here. Oh my god, you you look so this picture. It's pretty funny of you.

I also, this picture just doesn't look like you.

I know.

They like they like up the clarity on it or something. They Dad dad edited this photo so bad.

I also like lost weight, and I lost a lot of weight in my face, and I just grew up. I was twenty three. People always like what you do to your face.

I'm like, I'm older, well, and you don't get lip fillers and stuff anymore.

Yeah, yeah, the lip fillers for sure.

But they just edited the like, yeah, you probably look different, for sure, but they edited it very weird, like the shadows are too prominent.

What's your final guest there?

I want to say it was like a white strapless shirt with this flower on it e jean shorts.

Okay, wow, So I would say I was the most accurate other the three of us, because you were wearing a strapped toss.

There was like a flower or boat with.

A bow in the front.

I was thinking, like a prominent think he's wearing.

A BIS shirt.

No, you said a white shirt.

Who said white?

You did? Didn't you say a white shirt with poka dots?

No? I said purple and blue?

No he did not. He said blue and black with polka dots with purple cuffs. The shirt is purple with white polka dots with black and blue cuffs.

He got exactly what I described. I just described it in a weird way. I'm not very good at vocalizing my thoughts very well. But whatever, it's okay. All photographic memories. I guess we all passed the test.

All right, here we go, Here we go. I'm gonna I'm gonna do another one.

Ready, hold on, hold on, I'm trying to find something that's just that's distinct. I mean, do you remember your bachelorette photos?

Yeah?

Those are those are easy.

Those are so easy. I remember what I was wearing on the first carpet.

I walked. I walked it with your wife, Jared. I was wearing a pink button up shirt and I was wearing a black backpack, black backpack on a red carpet, and I felt, really I didn't know what to do. I still don't really know what you do on those things. But I walked it with your wife, Jared. Isn't that pretty funny? I thought that was fir No, that is so funny.

What did you wear to iHeart? All of us were together in Vegas our first year. We had just started dating.

Well, that's a whole week we had.

We had just come out as a couple officially. It was.

The first red carpet the first weekend. It wasn't the next day when you presented with Ben. It was the first night and we had so much fun. We have so many photos from it. Jordan Ashley were there, Tashu was there, Ben and Jess were there.

Do you know what I was wearing?

Yep? Tilly was like, what the hell is Dean perary?

Oh? Oh, because I was wearing that pink corduroy jacket.

No, you don't even have a pink corduroy jacket.

I used to and I rocked the hell out of it.

No, you're wearing a fisherman's hat and you're.

Oh, yeah, that's right, my north face fleas best and my black Rucus shirt that I wore in Hawaii actually just recently. Funny enough is it that outfit? That's a great shot right there.

That's it.

That was like the well, I had already stopped giving a crap at that point, but that was like when I really kicked into overdrive. I was like, here, I don't care how I look on these red carpets anymore.

That was my first red carpet together too.

Yeah, we crushed it, all right. Let's move on to the next thing.

So, Jared, I want to talk about you and your your single dad duties that you've been on. Have you been talking to Ashley? Are you allowed to even communicate with her while she's in her show?

Yeah, film, yep, Yeah, So I've been talking to her, and uh, you know, she's she's doing all right. She's far away and it's tough being away from Dawson, but she is excited to, you know, come home at some

But it's just like.

Obviously that would never be able to happen with Dawson because you know, it's hard actually, and then he did come with me, so besides the point, and then Sunday I worked and then Monday I worked. So it's really good. But at night it's been nice, Like it's nice. I mean, I'm you know, it's nice having like a father son bond time because he's so attached to Ashley. He's such a mama's boy that sometimes I feel, you know, in second place, which makes sense. He's it's his mom, you know,

Get him a waterbed after dude.

That's what Audrey said. She was like, getting him a waterbed. That's not a bad idea.

That was my dream when I was a kid.

Did you ever have one?

No? Absolutely not, And I'm glad because I already have back problems. I can't imagine.

Wait, did waterbeds cause back problems?

I'm sure there's no support, no support.

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know, I guess I Have I ever been on a waterbed Dean?

Have you? Yeah?

One of my friend's parents had one when I was in high school. And not to brag and not to make it awkward or anything, but I made out with a girl in there once I.

Knew there was something coming with it.

How was that experience on a waterbed? Was it like just I feel like I want to be able to like gain control of anything. It's just too flopping.

It's just flying around.

Yeah. Yeah, There's a couple of people in the room, so we were all just taking turns on the waterbed. It was kind of weird.

I got a question. I got a question about your relationship. Do you guys? Do you guys get to make out like you guys ever? Just like make out?

You know? I think about that. Actually we don't really make out.

We don't like not that often. Yeah, Ashley and I never make out anymore. Yeah, leading to something? You know, why does that stop? We used to just make out?

I know, why don't you make out with me?

Why don't you make out with me?

Stash bro Yeah, nobody if you have For all the listeners out there, Dean of course has a French mustache on for a filters.

Yeah. Sorry, If it's distracting, I'll change it. Yeah.

No, I think that just maybe is like a normal But Kaylen, wh should started making out more?

I love that?

Well, I would love that, all right?

Cool, I'm glad I brought it up.

But you don't want to make out with me?

Of course I do. It's okay, let's make out when you come to La.

Yeah, I'll come. I'll come and we can make out. So, Kaylen, can you tell us what you're doing in LA right now?

Yes?

So I'm at a wee work in downtown Los Angeles, which is just the most hectic place ever at nine am. And after this, I go straight to my first wedding dress fitting, and I'm very excited.

I'm like a little nervous.

Are you with friends or family?

No? One of my best friends was going to come, but I changed it from Thursday to Wednesday because I was going to try to fly back to Vegas tonight,

The dress.

She didn't ship it to me until Thursday, and my showers on Saturday and I was leaving Friday, so and it was hideous. It was too big. It was like nothing that we talked about. So now I'm like a little stressed going in this is a different designer. So and I already picked out the dress and they have my measurements, so it'll probably be pretty easy, but just a little bit stressful.

Yeah, So for this dress, can you get it? Like you're like, when do you get to try it on for the first time with your measurements.

And everything right now?

Right after this?

Oh?

But I thought okay, so I thought that, Oh, so you already picked it out. They've then they've now like buttoned it up to fit your body and you can because I.

Tried on a sample that like you know, everyone's tried on, so then they make it for me a clean new dress.

Do they make a brand new dress or do they just like, hem, the old one into.

Your new dress?

Because the dress I tried on was like a size eight and I'm a size zero or two?

Mmmm, that makes sense. That's a big difference. Yeah, so so yeah, yeah.

What happens if you try this wedding dress on and you're like, I hate everything about this.

Well, that's what I'm worried about.

I don't know, because because I tried on the eight and we fixed some things with it and like change something, So I just I'm like, hopefully, hopefully it looks the way I have envisioned in my head.

I'm pretty confident you're probably gonna love it if you're working with a designer and they've made this dress for you, Plus you have plenty of times for any I'm sure, like the main dress you're going to fall in love with? Can you tell us what style it is? Are you allowed to even say anything, whether it's I don't know the tactical terminology for these things, but like a big poofy one or more fitting.

Well, this one is the reception dress and so I have a ceremony and a reception, and the reception dress is just like sexier, it's a little bit tighter.

It's strapless.

So have you tried on your your ceremony.

Wedding dress ceremony dress?

Yeah, that one is done in June next time, so I'll be able to try that one on for the first time. And that one we changed a lot, so I'm very interested to see how that one looks.

Why wouldn't you wait till they're both.

Done because they're two different designers.

Oh I see, Yeah, yeah, get with it, Dean, Yeah, what which one are you more excited about or nervous for?

This one I'm more nervous for because there's like specific things that have to look perfect. And then the second one, I'm also I'm excited for because we changed so much and I think it'll be very different. But honestly, all wedding dresses look the same.

That's not true, but I mean it's.

Like it's hard to be different in terms of wedding dresses, you know, And so I was like, I don't want different. I just want to feel like timeless, elegant, classy.

I have no doubt you'll be classy. I have a little hesitation about the zoom square next to you with the angel over his head.

Come on, could this guy be anything butt? Class you look at my halo. It's look at that thing floating up there. I didn't even be adorable. I turned off all of the filters. I just happened to turn on some. I don't even know how.

So as we get closer, I mean, are you guys, how are you feeling about everything?

Both of you?

I feel pretty good. The bridle shower was really fun just to like have our family. It was fun to have because at our engagement party there were so many people. It's fun to just have it more intimate and have our families interact a bunch more.

So I'm excited for more of that. And then our friends.

Dye Richard, Yeah, yeah, I was at the back.

You didn't see me. I think it's sad.

He was on the photo booth the whole side.

Yeah, yeah, you had a great time.

But yeah, I'm excited. I feel less stressed than I did like two weeks ago.

Oh because I went on a rant about how I cried for the first time and I was upset.

And it's gotten a lot better. Since then.

M well, that's good, that is good.

Dean, have you over this wedding yet?

Uh? No, not yet, not yet.

Kaylen asked in one of her questions at the bridle shower, who's gonna be the first one to cry? And she seems pretty convinced that it's gonna be me.

Well, I had to put the answers down and I was like Dean, and the Dean convinced me that it would be me.

But I'm not a very emotional person.

Oh but I am a very emotional person.

I'm not a very emotional person in front of people. I just don't see myself crying.

M Okay, well, Jared, what do you think? What's your take on this third party perspective?

Hmmm, that's a great question. I mean, if I'm a betting man, I'm putting my money on Kaylin because because I just think you have more of the capability inside of you to get overwhelmed by the moment, where Dean might just get more annoyed at the moment and be like, is it over yet?

That's a yeah, I could see that happening, so.

Like i'd because I I my advice for Dean would be to let h. I know it sounds stupid to soak in the moment, but you know, realize that, you know, it's it's a day. You know, you're you're getting married. You're gonna marry Kaylan. You're marrying Kaylen. Like, don't let that thought over go over your head.

We talk about what we were doing in Vegas.

We were gonna get married this week actually, and just like do the legality of it all, but really.

Yeah, what's your take on it?

Because I saw on TikTok they're like, the best advice I have is to get married beforehand because it's less stressful, there's less paperwork.

But is it not just signing a document? What do you think?

Yeah, it's the most uneventful.

We went to the.

Courthouse and you did it before too. Yeah, but we did it literally two days before our wedding because we wanted it to be official. When you know, Alan said you're now you are a bride and groom, like you may kiss the bride. So it was like, okay, everything's legal.

Here we go.

We are a husband and wife. There's no it's not like we're leaving the wedding be like, well, we haven't signed yet. We still got to go to the courthouse. We wanted to make sure everything was done before that. Yeah, I mean you just go and you just sign a couple of things and you hand in a couple of forms and then they're like, all right, cool. You you know, according to the where the state of Nevada, you guys are a husband and wife, and you're like, all right, great.

I mean I'm.

Also like I'm a little bit more like Ashley, where it's like I like kind of doing the whole old old fashioned, but like wait till the last minute. So it's like everything's like this weekend, like it's our wedding weekend, like we're officially getting married, and then the wedding's tomorrow and then blah blah blah blah blah. Definitely get married before and just kind of planned it out because I

Before our weddings.

So definitely, like, you know, make sure that you like start researching now and you know, get married whenever you guys want.

Yeah, I think we have to wait because Dean hasn't changed his last name.

Well yeah, right, that's the that's what we need to do before doing that, because it would suck to get married and then have to both do it, I think, or something like that. I was talking to my brother about it, and he was saying that we definitely should change my name before getting married. Does that take a while? Does it take like for him it took a while

What is this nineteen thirty Sevenspontana.

So yeah, it's about that.

I don't know how that works in Nevada or any other states, but at least that's how it was there. So he said it took, you know, not long, but like a month. I would say from start to finish for him, Yeah, I would.

Get on that.

But I did bring the paperwork to LA, so I'm going to work on that today.

Oh great, and you brought mine as well.

Yeah.

I just need all your social and all the personal info about you.

You don't know my social security number.

You'll never You've never said it to me. You're like, you can't know that.

Oh, I'll just tell you right now. It's one five seven.

I don't know ashley social security number. You don't, no, but I do know her phone number off the top of my head. Do you guys know each other's phone numbers? I do?

Dean doesn't.

Oh gosh, that's so rude of you.

Stop.

Do you actually know, Dean? Yeah?

Of course, I wish I could test this. Can you type it in in the chat?

Yeah?

Yeah, put in the chat and confirm whether you correct or not. It's just such a it's like it's like it's just embarrassed. It's like it's insulting that you guys think that I wouldn't know that job.

He's right, I thank yeah.

You're right. My number is way easier than yours, by the way.

But also you think that because it's your number.

Yeah, I've had that number for twenty years. Come on, how is that not the easiest number in the world to.

Kailin's your yours? Isn't that easy? I mean there's a lot of digits in there, and there's there's no like consistency. It's you know, usually I try to remember somebody's number by like, oh, okay, there's two eighths in there. Yeah, I don't see any repetition in yours.

Yours is like a random number generator. I got zeros, I got sevens, I got nine's. Come on, I got I got all the good numbers. Yeah, Kerin, your phone number would be a great password. Nobody would ever guess it.

Oh yeah, until now, what was I going to say? I was going to say something really profound, but.

Of course you forgot his most profound thing he's ever going to say on this podcast, And honestly, that's probably gonna wrap it up for this podcast. We're already like forty five minutes in.

No, we can keep going. Let's keep going. You guys have got any good poop stories we can share?

No all the time, I say we go.

For another I say we go for another ten minutes. Sure we want to talk about Well, I'm glad you asked, because there's something I really want to talk about.

You don't know what it is, No, I don't know.

I'm just trying to go off the top of my head here. Let's be nothing, Let's be podcast toists. We can do this. We can think of something to talk about for tang.

You're also on single dad mood this week or solo dad mode.

That's Alistair.

I got a little al with me. Oh man, he's the best dog ever. When Kaylen's gone, he like, you know, when Kaylen's here, he splits time between the two of us. But when I when she's gone, he'll like chase me around all over the house. He'll be like nipping out my ankles, like hopping around. If I'm just even going from like the bathroom to the office or something, or I go outside and he sprints out the door.

Or I go in the garage and I'm working in the garage and I like find like a little thing to lay on top of while I'm sitting out there working on the garage or in the garage. It's the bat. I will say.

We'll say one thing now that like being a parent and especially dealing with Dawson. You guys are not gonna like this because I'm like just an angry old man. Now they're like nobody and I used to say this too, So I'm bashing myself. But nobody, nobody can tell me they're a dog parent anymore.

If you have a dog, mm, you're not a parent.

You don't know what the hell you're in for.

I would.

I mean, I'm inclined to agree with you. I'm not saying it's on the same level whatsoever. But you know it's a good it's a good like.

No, it's not.

No, it's not I'm telling you. I used to think the same thing, bro.

And I understand.

I understand it's a differently lens of us into parenthood.

No, I think the only thing dogs do they make you like a little bit less selfish and like it's a good maybe from an odd parent, maybe a good intro to be like a little less selfish and then get into parenthood.

I will say it's a red flag if you have a dog and like one partner is just ignoring the dog and you have to do everything, that would be obviously a big red fag could be. But even though, I will say, when we got Lois, I took care of Lois and I helped trained her and clean up her poop because Ashley like would I'm not joking, she would gag anytime she lowess would poop in the house. And I'm like, this is not good. But Ashley has

That's good because I can't picture Kitlen really getting poopy at all.

Are you kidding me?

I pick up Elister's poop more than you, and I am one of seven. I was changing diapers when I was growing up.

I was changing diapers before I was born.

You've never changed one diaper ever, Okay, you never dip.

Wh Why would I ever change a diaper?

It'd be weird for a grown man to change someone else's baby's diaper.

Yeah, just to try it.

I've asked. I've asked a million times. I'll ask.

I'll walk by a stranger on the street and say, hey, is that diaper dirty? I'd love to be able to change it for you.

Yeah. I always just look at me weird and run away. But what is interesting actually what I found out the run away and.

They're like, I think fucking Dean for the Bachelor just asked to change my kids diaper.

Who watched my baby's dirty diaper? I don't know why?

Weird?

I knew he was a weirdo.

I was at our friend's house.

I don't want to call him out and say who they were, but they watched their brother's baby and the girl was trying to figure out which way the diaper goes, and she's like, well, women's underwear, the butt is bigger and then the front is smaller.

You know on women's under if you look at the shape of them. Okay, So she figured.

Out how the diaper was and they were like, how did we do like watching baby blah blah blah, and they were like it was good, except you put the diaper on backwards, so all of the poop and all of the pea just like came out of it, and like rude is.

So I just hope you don't do that.

Yeah, don't do that.

Bro.

Well I'm not actually going to change the stranger's baby's diaper.

Oh no, no. But when we have our own, what about your brothers?

What about your your niece.

Look if my brother came to me and was like, hey, all have just crapped yourself. I gotta go do this thing over here, and it's so time sensitive, I can't even change his diaper, Will you change the diaper for me? Of course I'd be like, yeah, I'll be the hero that you need. I'll step in and change this diaper. But like, let's be honest, that's never gonna happen, you.

Know, But do you know the steps. It's like you take a baby wipe, then you.

Like, of course I could figure it out.

As long as I take the diaper off and I wipe the baby clean, and then I put a clean diaper on. I think that's basically all I would need to do not like, sure, maybe there I'm missing a few steps in there, but it's good enough. It's passable until the new diaper, or until there's a new mess made in that diaper.

You know, the baby's not gonna die.

When you guys have kids, we need to make sure that this moment is documented.

I'm sorry, not like sitting here watching YouTube videos of how to change a dirty diaper.

You need to start that repping. You don't even know what you're in for.

All right, I'll start youtubing dirty diapers and how to change them.

When I used to volunteer at this camp, so it was there was a four year old I think he was, and of course, you know, you have two counselors in the bathroom at all times because you got to make sure that everybody's you know, you never want to just be in alone in the bathroom with a kid. And so we were hanging out by the door and it was me and then this woman camper, and so we were at the front door of the boys room and

Like three or four I think.

And then so it was the first time because I changed babies dippers before that, but never like a toddlem who was able to talk to me. I'm like, this is weird. So of course, like went in there and then he was like okay, and he just turned around and just you know, he was like slightly bending over, just waiting for me to wipe his ass. And I'm like, all right, here we go. Wait when was this I don't know, ten years ago?

Maybe.

Okay, so you have wiped a few butts, a few other butts in your life. I can honestly say I've never wiped someone else's butt in my life, except for my own.

I would never want to wipe an old person's. But my friend works in oh what is it, what is it called? Yeah, but hospice, and so God bless you. If you were listening to this podcast and you have to do anything like that, you're a nurse or you work in a you know, a nursing home. You just I salute you because you one day you might be wiping my ass and I, I really I can't tell you how much that means to me.

Isn't it interesting how you come into this world needed to get your butt wiped, and you go out of this world needed to get your butt wiped.

So that we started with poop and we ended with poop.

Yeah, we wanted a full circle part.

It's an homage to life. Man, I'm telling you.

What great, Well, you won't talk about poop.

Oh doubtful I'm going to because up at that point I'll have used my truck toilet sea.

So we already.

Talk about starting off the podcast with a wonderful story next week.

Yeah, but hey, you guys, I think that's gonna about do it. For this week's episode of Helping Suck at Being NELI, it's Calyn. Thank you for joining us from we work in Los Angeles.

You're welcome. You know what we wor should sponsor this podcast?

Yeah, they should.

I don't think your audio quality is that great, though, so I don't think that they're going to want to be associated with me.

Easton said, last time we were on my phone, he was like, I don't know what you were using, but the audio was great.

Maybe you're talking about yeah, the echo.

We'll see.

In fact, you might tend to have to, like Jared and I probably have to go back through and like dub over your voice just to make it the audio a little bit more.

I fidelity hilarious.

Yeah, that would be hilarious and it would never happen.

But there was something else I wanted to talk about this week, but I can't remember what it is, so I'm just gonna have to save it for next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit less.

Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at.

Being Newlyweds, and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.

Make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. We'll see you next time.