Catfishing with Superwomen

words that she likes to put it. She's not superwoman, but she is a superwoman. We're gonna talk to her. We're gonna talk to Nive and Laura from Catfished a little later on. I'm sure you guys have seen that show on MTV. Basically they just go out and find people who have been catfished, and he was actually the very first person to be a gut to have gotten catfished. So we're gonna talk to them a little bit. But before we do that, it wasn't the first person ever

to get cat fished. I mean people have gotten which his first term. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, m so by the term. They coined the term catfish, and then they made a documentary about Nive getting cat fished, and then that documentary spun off a couple of years later into Nive hosting the show Catfished on MTV, which I'm sure you've all seen. I don't really watch television, but I've seen that show, so I've seen it. Um. I think it's neat to make up a phrase that

becomes part of the language. I'm curious. I'm curious to talk to more to them more about that, because I I don't believe that they've convented the phrase. You know, you don't how does it like? How how could they have done that? You don't just go out and do that. I haven't like John Hynd He's the guy that invented jump the Shark and the concept of jumping the shark, and now everybody says jump the shark. Never heard anyone say jump the shark. I can't be the only one

you heard that. I've used it before, I use it to me. The premise originally was when does a TV show jump the shark? Like, for example, on Happy Days in the funds used as motorcycle to jump a shark. That show wasn't good anymore. It's when a TV show stops being cool and exciting and fun. And every TV show has that moment. It because when you're on the other side of the shark, it's like, what's interesting. It's

it's they do. It's often when you add a younger, cuter cast member, when there's a marriage on the show, it's like after that, the excitement and newness of the show is gone, and it's not as fun as it used to be. Like name a show, name a show. Bolt jumped the shark. H I'm trying to think of that in my head when you guys are Yeah, because there might be a couple of moments when they jumped the shark, probably when Jim and Pam get married, Yeah,

finally get together, more than when Michael leaves. Oh that that's for sure. Yeah, that's a definitely shark. The shark wasn't jumped by then, Yes, it's definitely definitely And usually that's it. Main characters getting together, main character leaving, new character coming. These are off shark jumps. But anyway, you guys are you guys are business? Uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Uh Man, business man, business casual. You

guys are in the scene. You guys are in the Hollywood world more than I am, so you just know it better than me. Well, they're not here, So we could say that this podcast jump the shark when we added Jared and Vanessa. I think we all could agree on that. And then again and that's that's the real jump the shark moment. But anyway, that's become something as a phrase people use it to describe not Jeff TV shows,

but all kinds of things. But anyway, we digress. Yeah, well we're talking about we're talking about cat fishing and how that became in the Zeit Guy. Anyway, we haven't had a van update in a while of them later, Yes, let's give a van update for now before Jared Vanessa.

They're running late as usual. Um, so they're gonna jump in a little bit later on, but I guess in the meantime, I'll just tell you guys about my life and and obviously the van has been a pretty central figure in uh Bachelor in Paradise this season, more so than I ever expected it to be. I'm surprised I'm getting as much screen time as I am because it's just it's just so funny to me. But yeah, the

van has been going well. Um, I I did the van full time as of I think it was the end of May, so we're right around three months now, maybe a little longer. But again, I like, you know, I travel on an actually a lot, so it's kind of nice to like not have to pay rent while I'm gone. But the van itself is doing well. Um. I've had to get some work done on it, which

has been frustrating. It's like, I'm saving two thousand dollars a month on rent, but just last week I had to get a thousand dollars of worth of work done on getting a computer chip reinstalled on it, you know what I mean. So the newer van, I forget. Yeah, it's a two thous and six, so I mean not really knew. You know, it's got low it's got seventy thousand miles on it, so not many miles. It's a

diesel engine, so it runs forever um. And it's a you know, it's a sprinter cargo van, so it's made for distance and so it shouldn't break down often, but when it does. It's a Mercedes, so it's expensive to fix. What are some disadvantages you found that maybe you didn't anticipate, other than maintenance on the van, just in day to day life. Well, when I'm living in the van, I'm not in Los Angeles, so I haven't really run into anything that I disliked about that. We're where do you

park this thing right now? It's parked on the street? Is that how it when you're sleeping it, I usually out of street somewhere. Was that the thing when I'm when I'm sleeping in it, I'm not in Los Angeles, I'm I'm somewhere more rural, and so I can sleep in a campsite area or you know, I've slept in Oregon a couple of times. I'm like literally just like

on the side of the road. But the road is like it's a frontage road, so there's not many how it's not not much traffic going on, and there's these all these these these long roads that you're on. There's a lot of like semi trucks that pull over and sleep on the side of the road as well, And so I'll just basically join them as like a little brother, you know, because I'm like a little baby compared to them. Is there a website you can go to to see

where it's okay to park your car overnight? There is? Yeah, I've never been on it, and I don't know what it's called, but I know that they exist. So far, you're just doing it on your own. Yeah, And I haven't run into a single issue, and so I think until I run into an issue, I'll probably have come move it along. One's ever knock. So I was in Jackson Hawayoming last month visiting my brother and we were like climbing mountains and stuff out there, and I was

basically just sleeping. It's funny. Actually I spent seven days in Jackson, Halwa. Now like five days in Jackson Hawayoming and my brother has a house there, and I didn't go in his house at one time. I just basically lived in my van out in his front yard. Um until the very end, I think I just like I had a poop or something, so I want to do anyways. Um, And one morning he woke up, I woke up to someone banging on the window, and I was like, this is the first time I've ever been woking up to

someone like trying to bang on the window. And I was like someone probably telling me, like move my van, I parked illegally, or someone's like trying to, you know, scare me or something like that, and it turns out of just my brother trying to wake me up to so you can go hiking for the day. But I've never had an issue. And it's funny because I sleep with a gun right next to my bed. I have a safe for it, but I typically before I go

to sleep, I take it out of the safe. I'd say I have the magazine and the actual gun itself separated from each other, if from like one at the head one at the toe, so it's like I don't make a mistake at night, you know, and hopefully, like in a sleepy stupor, if I needed to, I could find them both and put them together and cock it. And if I need to use it and use it, just picking it up probably intimidating enough, right if someone comes in and just uh, even if there's a magazine

in it. It's a good point. I would never I hope I don't ever have to shoot anyone, obviously, but like it's good. It's a good peace of mind to have um, and it feels cool to hold. It's a gun. It's like a handgun, right, it's a it's a glock nine millimeter. It's very capable of murdering someone. Yeah, there were times I was hiking through Yellowstone actually, and Yellowstone has these watch out for a Grizzly Bears signs plastered everywhere,

like grizzly bears. You know, obviously they can murder, they can kill someone. And there were multiple times where I didn't hike with my gun because I think it's probably illegal, but people carry bear makes with them all around. Um, And there were multiple times where I was like, I should probably have my gun on you right now, which is just a cool thing to think about, Like, yeah, I got a gun, I should probably have it on me right now. Was getting the gun any issue there?

Blown away by how simple it was? Literally, I think it was after this podcast a couple of months ago. I just walked across the street. There's a gun emporium there and I just that took this test and they're like, I don't know. I walked in. I was like, hey, I want to buy a gun. I live in a van and I need to protect myself, and they go, right, take this test once you pass the test, we'll go pick out which one you want. Was that the background

checkers that the test? No, it's like a it's a multiple choice, thirty question tests and I go, I go, shure. But just so you guys know, like, I've never studied about guns. I know nothing about guns. I don't think I am ready to take a test, and they go, you got this, You're fine, You're gonna be fine. Take the test. Aced the test. No, I think I got one question wrong and it was like an ambiguous like there were multiple right answers, and they talked to me

through it whatever, picked out the gun. Ten days later, I come back and I picked up my gun and I got a gun. Now I take it to the shooting range, practiced with it, took it apart, cleaned it. So yeah, I got a gun. Um. Uh do you know that? It's uh? I hear there's legal sleep in Walmart parking lots if you take an advantage of that at all, that's actually that's a changed rule. I don't think it is. I don't think it's legal anymore, but they don't enforce the law, so it's technically not. Oh,

maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe it's still legal, but it's not advertised by Walmart who used to advertise it because people would like set up camp there for multiple days, and then Walmart then becomes like like liable for things that might happen in their parking lots for people that sleep there. I've never personally slept in a one more parking lot. Um, I don't know. Family has been great, everyone's been very critical of it, but I don't love you mentioned pooping.

You do poop in the van. You have a bathroom on there. Now there's no toilet in there. I've been thinking toilet. Well, my thing is I want to try living in it for you know, weeks at a time and seeing if I need a toilet, I'll get a toilet, But I haven't Starbucks and like just public bathrooms, gas stations, McDonald's exactly that. Um. I have a bucket that I p in every once in a while. Like let's say you wake up it's like two am. What are doing? You don't want to go out into the into the street.

If you understand that, I just pop open the lid on my PJR. P in it. Put the lid on the PJR is ful right now? Actually, need to just toss it and get a new one. Be careful and accepting lemonade at Dean's van, so you don't reuse the jar. I mean, it's basically just like a gallon jug of water that I've that I've repurposed as a PJ and if you wake up in the middle of the night and have to go the other one. I have not incurred that since I was like six years old, So

that's good. Yeah, that's good for you. Um So yeah, I mean it's been going well. There hasn't been any emergencies. Trying to think of maybe like the worst situation I've run into in the van, and honestly, I can't think of anything bad that's happened. Um. I hurt my arm really bad when I was in my Wyoming. I thought that I broke it, but I mean I just had like a big I've been staring at that scar for a while. Yeah, I just I got like a big gash.

I'm still honestly convinced that I broke my arm and I just heal like a superhuman like the bolverine does from Excellent. No, you guys are laughing, but I'm serious about that. I swear. You guys should have seen this. You could I did. I fell. We were glissading down some snow and I you're wedding down some snow glissading or it's just like you just like ski on your feet,

you know, like you just slide on your feet. And it was like a steep snow field and you're up in the mountains and so like if you fall down that you slide down in some rocks. And I felt and I was like on my stomach and I slid in some rocks and then my brother was down there at the bottom waiting for me. He caught me, and I like, I go, oh, I hit my arm. I hit my arm and I showed my own arm and he goes, dude, I can see your bone in your

arm right now. And we're at like thirteen, were literally at the peak of the mountainet So I had to take my shirt off, and I tied my shirt off and and put pressure on the wound. So I didn't like bleed out, and I was like looking at it for I was like, I should get stitches. I know I should get stitches, but I don't want to get stitches, Like who the hell wants to go to the especially. I was like, I'll get stitches tomorrow if it's still hurts,

and it's still hurt really bad. But then this point I was like, well, I'm already a day in I

might as well. And I couldn't. I didn't have any range of motion in my arm for probably five or six days, Like I could only move my arm like thirty degrees, and there was just so much pain and sleeping in the van, you know, it's like kind of cramped, and so I was like sleeping on my arm sometimes and I would wake up and it'd be like throbbing and like the bandage would have fallen off in my arms, like sticking to my bed because the wound is healing to the sheets. So that one was that was a

bad couple of days. But that was just because again I fell up in the mountains. That wasn't really anything that the van was responsible for. Yeah. Um, that whole trip I was with my dog. I took my dog with me, and I was in places like Nevada and Idaho and like these like pretty hot places you do

not always with you. No. Um. She lives in Pasadena with the girl that I got her and I was like I just want to travel with her and give it a shot and see if that if if we can do this, And so there was like we were like a lot of hot places like Nevada, like I said, and she that was maybe challenging because she needed a c on at all times, like not overheat. Um. And like I'll say, like I needed to go into a store and buy something, and I was like shopping for

like fort y five minutes. I'd be like kind of you know, trying to figure out what I could do with her. That's alee um. And especially in like Yellowstone National Parks, they don't you're not allowed to bring dogs into national parks because because of all the wild life. And so I would like go up climb the Grand Titon and I would have to like board her for a couple of days while I was hiking, or I would go to Yellowstone and I would like venture out

for the day. I had to leave her at the car, which was like I never I never felt good doing it. So I think from this point forward, I'm not going to have the dog anymore. But just because I feel like she's not living her best life with me. So that was an issue a small issue. Um what else about the van life have I run into issues with? That's about it. Honestly, I just rebuilt the micarage system.

I repurpose, not repurposed it. But I used to have these two big like bucket things that were on wheels that would slide out, and it was like very laborious and inefficient, and so I just got rid of those and I put this big sliding track system in there, so the trunk just basically slides out, and like that's where all my cargo area is. What are you keep in the cargo area? Um, like camping equipment, chains in case it snows, my golf clubs, like all my like

extracurricular stuff that I would need, Um, warm clothes, extra blankets. Um. Well, I I understand why you're getting so much screen time on Bachelor Paradise because I find you fascinating. I found the van fascinating. It's all fascinating. Can we talk about my ability to heal incredibly fast? I don't think that's a real thing, but I suffer from delusions like that. No,

this is not a delusion, I swear. So I did it on a I fell on a Sunday and my other brother was coming up that Friday for us to climb in the Grand Teton, which is like a pretty difficult it's not difficult, but it's long. It's it's like fourteen miles and there's like very serious moves that you have to do on the rock. And I'm like, well, I can't even do a pull up right now. And by Wednesday, I was like, I still don't even know

if I can do this. I don't know if I'm physically capable of doing because I still can't bend my arm. Thursday came around and it was like getting better, and then Friday came and I was like it was probably like seventy healed. The gash was still there obviously, but I had like abilities to use my arm, and I was like, well, I'm not going to not do the Grand Teton, Like this is what my brother drove out from Denver for twelve hours whatever it took, and so

I did it. And there's like a lot of points where it hurt really bad. But the more of the story is now it's just a scar tissue. And this was a month ago Mark and Easton. I had a hairline fracture in my arm. I know what. I've broken my arm before. This was worse than that, and now this is a badass scar that I have on my arm. No one would be more excited than Nathan in myself if you were actually a superhero. I'm not saying I'm

a superhero. I just say I possessed superhuman capabilities. Are there are others other of than the ability to heal slightly faster than a normal Now, but this is not the first time that I've healed irregularly fast. Okay, there's a couple of tests we can do for really, how

how easily do you get drunk? Pretty so I get get drunk easily, but between getting drunk and getting drunk to the point of being sick is impossible because those with healing factor your Wolverines are Captain America's people like that they can't get drunk because their cells regenerate too fast to becoming toxic. Yeah, I don't get drunk. I could drink all I want. I was getting as a kid.

So I grew up with two older brothers, one six and one nine years older than me, and as a kid, you know, obviously, as a younger brother, I got picked on a lot, and I got like bully, like physically abused by my brothers, as any younger brother will do, and they would always say things like, oh, it's not leaving a bruise or that didn't cut you, and so because of that, I can hurt you even more next time,

you know. And I'm like, well, just because it's not bruising like you expected to bruise doesn't mean it's not hurting like it's supposed to hurt. And so a ray dealer forced punch on me would not leave a bruise, but a regular punch on someone else would leave like a big, big, bad bruise. So there you go. Superhuman Maybe he is, Maybe I'm convinced. Anyways, what else? I used to think that I had an X ray vision as a kid, because if you hold something close enough

to your face, you could see past it. But in reality, it's just basically piecing it together. And I always that closed when I'd be like, okay, I can see I can't see through it now, and then I opened both and be like X ray vision, you know what I mean? Yeah, so that's a superhuman ability that I still have stuff that discuss the therapist. I think it's a super realities you think you have, um, what else? What other super that's about it? Well, you've got to live in a

van is impressive. And you also taught me a new word today. Yeah, I don't know what does the textbook definition? Slide down a steep slope of snow or ice with the support of an ice axe. Ye. So the pictures are really funny on Google image is just people sitting

down the Yeah. So the thing about the ice axes, it's imperative to have an ice axe when you're going through a snowfield at while your mountaineering, because if you start slipping, as I did, you would basically turn over to your stomach and self arrest and just dig the ice axe into the ice so you stop sliding. Otherwise you can't stop yourself because it's so steep and so icy,

you can't stop. And we only had one ice axe because we were too lazy to go to the storm by another one, which obviously and my brother goes first. There was this there was this move where we were on the rocks and the only way we could get down was we had to jump from the rocks into the snow field which is at a decline, and then you had like glass glasade glasade down. And he did it without the ice axe because he's more cape He's more of a mountain man than I am. So he

went and did it and made it look easy. And I was like, I this, I don't need the ice axe. If he can do it without the ice ax, I can do it without the ice ax. And so I jumped, slid my feet, dug in too deep and then I flipped around in my stomach. And once you're on your stomach, facebook where you're kind of screwed. And so that's how I hurt. The arem are both acceptable. Thank you so much. That's to know. All right, Nicole is here, okay, Jared is here, and Vanessa is ready for us. Great, yep,

that was great. I just feel like we felt a lot of time with a whole lot of nothing. We're going a lot of smoke here. That's actually the slogan for help I sucker day. We're making moutains out of mole hills. Okay, cool, Jared, good to see you, Vanessa, good to see you. We'll get you guys in in a second. We're gonna have Nicole as a guest as well. But before we do that. We're gonna take one quick break, all right. Welcome to help. I Sucker Dating, Dean Vanessa

and myself, Jared. We have a special guest in studio joining us, the author of Becoming Superwoman, a simple twelfth step plan to go from burnout to balance, which is available in store September seventeen. Nicole Lapin, Thank you for being here. Guys. Nicole. Thanks, We will give you a standing ovation every time we see you. We promise you much. It means you just have to come back. We weren't standing that time, so now we actually sitting do it again. Yeah,

all right, all right, ladies and gentlemen. Nicole, you got almost fell out of my chair. This is amazing. That's the best injury I've ever received in my whole entire life. I'll never forget my first standing ovation. You know. We try. We try here at help by second Dating. So Nicole, tell the entire audience who you are? Who am I? Who are you? Who are you? What are you about? What is happening? I'm looking into your soul right now? Who are you? What do you see? Why don't you tell?

Powerful woman? That's what I say? Thank you. Welcome a Superwoman a super woman, but you talk about killing super thank you, I do. I think Superwoman, the character who tries to be all things to all people so she's nothing to herself, needs to die. We're kind of done with her. I think the idea of being a super woman, like with the Space, just being a super can I say perfect is what we should aspire to. Somebody who

puts her oxygen mask on first before helping others. Because if you're all things to all people, you're nothing to yourself, and therein lies the real danger. If you're all things to all people, you're nothing to yourself. Can you elaborate on that a little bit. I think that we get into this rhythm as women that we have to do it all, and I think, you know, the big question is can we have it all? Right? I think we can have it all if we define what having it

all means. We just can't do it all. We're human beings, not human doings, so we can't do all the things, especially not at once, and I think that pressure is leading women to burn out and break down in unprecedented levels. Um Nicole, like I said earlier before we started recording, I'm so excited that you are with us today because my birthday is coming up. This is like and I always say, like September for me is the new year, like the knew me, the new beginning, because that's my

teacher brain speaking. And I feel like I'm at a point right now where I'm just kind of coasting. I'm doing everything, but I don't feel like I'm doing everything at a percent. And I totally relate to what you're saying. I totally relate to um the idea of a burnout because I have gone through one. I went my first burnout. I think I was fourteen years old. I wasn't competitive gymnastics,

and I went through burnout. I think I was a little bit depressed at the time too, and I just I needed to stop everything and just focus on what

makes me happy. Because I think we have this idea of quote unquote what success is right, and I think there's people who might look at either our lifestyles or people in the industry and say, like, well, how could they be complaining and how can they be going through burnout or how could they, you know, need a mental health day when they have the life that everyone wants. So what would you say to people in that position. Well,

I think we have the equation wrong, right, Vanessa. And maybe it was during gymnastics, or maybe it's now, like I'll be happy when I get there. Maybe it was a gold medal back in the day, you know, maybe it's an oscar today. Whatever it is, then I'll be happy.

Then I'll be balanced. And when you get there, there's always another there there, Like we keep walking with this goal post all the time, like we get there, we get the salary, we get the job, and then all of a sudden, like well they am it's magically a whole other goal post, and you never get your brains to the other side of balance or happiness, and studies show that it's actually the other way around, that happiness or balance will bring us more success and not vice versa.

It sounds like what you're saying is if you're not enough with it, you'll never be enough without it. Wow, unpack that one. Thank you, you can do it. And if you're not enough with it, you'll never be enough without it. Let me let me Actually I said a wrong. If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it. Okay, that makes more sense. Sorry, not enough with it? I like it. I do like that. It's kind of I won't make the analogy. I was gonna

make a spider bit analogy. God, what's wrong with me? Anyway? I digress. So what you're pretty much saying it's it sounds like it's the journey, not the destination. Well, I think self care is the biggest asset or liability in your career. So I wrote rich bitch, or wrote boss bitch like I talk about money in business to women all day, every day, and I think what I missed is that nothing is going to affect your career. Networking your ass off, going to business school, then not having

a good self care regimen. When that's off, it can bring you to break down and rock bottom. When it's on point, it can actually bring you more success than you ever imagine. When you say self care is saying mentally physically so many tips um. I actually had a mental, emotional, physical breakdown after a burnout from my second book launch, and what I realized is that it's a lifetime of smoldering embers that finally caught fire and incinerated everything in

its path, not some spontaneous combustion. I think if you go through trauma if you have issues. I mean I have more issues than vote. We all have stuff that we're dealing with. It will eventually kick your ass. I mean I self prescribed for so many years and just

hid from everything, and ultimately it will come back. And you know, it sounds like a lot of the advice that you have to offer is pertaining to people in the workplace, right or entrepreneurs if you're you know, in Boss Bitch, I talk about being a CEO of your family, being an entrepreneur, so being entrepreneurial within an existing company or starting your own business. And we go through a lot of different stages in our careers, especially now. It's

not alloweder. I hate that analogy. It's more like a rope swing or like rock climbing or something like that. You're doing different things at different stages in your life, but you're the only constant no matter where you go. So I think one issue a lot of people have

is boundaries. How do you set boundaries? I feel like, when I'm having like a really rough day and then I know a friend is calling me who loves to talk for hours, how do I set that boundary to be like, I'm just tired today, I let you know, let's catch up tomorrow. Instead, I'll like, I'm such a giver, so I'll give everything that I got and then I'll become more exhausted. So how what kind of advice would give to people who don't know how to send boundaries?

That's when I don't pick up the phone. I don't know how to do that. Oh, you just forward, it's a message. It's very easy, and then you text them and then you say you're at the gym or you're getting food or something like that and you'll call them later, or you could just be really just say like, listen, sister, you know, I gotta put my oxygen mask on first right now. And Superwoman Shonda Rhymes, I quote in the book says no is a complete sentence. Love her right

and saying no to other people. You have to reframe that because that's often saying yes to yourself. And if you think about it, like, as a giver, I get it, and a lot of women, including yours, truly are givers, Like I want to take care of other people. But if you say yes to something you put your half ass into and not your entire ass, then you're actually not being of service or of help to that other person. You're actually not doing justice to whatever that thing they

asked you to do. Was that you said yes? So I say superwomen put their full ass into all the things. Are they saying no? Yeah? I also I want to say, I was just joking about not picking up the phone and guys, I hope everybody understood that. But I I what you were just saying. I need to practice what I preach as well. But a lot of times I

think I don't give people. I don't value people enough for them to handle my opinion, if that makes any sense, Because it's like what you were saying, I think it's very difficult to say no, But at the same time, I think I should respect the other person to be able to handle the fact that I'm saying no. Does that make sense? Yeah, and deal with what that feels like for you, Like it's it's very hard for me to say no. I'm sure everybody has this problem, right.

You don't want to say no to someone because you feel so bad. But at the same time, I feel like I should respect that other person enough for them for me to know that they can handle me saying no. Does that make sense? Yeah? Hand on in charge of that other person. You're only in charge of yourself. Like yeah, but at the same time, you feel bad and you feel guilty, and you want to help others as much as you possibly can, but you need to help yourself first. Totally.

You can't help anybody if you're crushing and burning yourself. And if you had like a date with yourself. I used to get into this cycle all the time, Like I'd have a workout or whatever, and then I'd have a meeting opportunity that popped up and be like, I can totally do that meeting. And if I had a date instead with a friend for breakfast or lunch, I would think five hundred times before canceling. But I would cancel in myself so easily. But instead you have to

think of that like that's a date with yourself. You have something that's already on your calendar and it's with you. Like, we're so easy to cancel on ourselves. Doorth so easy to put ourselves down? You know, the biggest enemy is between our ears. We talk so badly to ourselves all the time. You know, I'm in this whole kick now that when I when my girlfriends say like I'm so fat, or I like I look terrible or I'm the worst, Like,

stop talking about my friend like that. And if somebody else talked about you like that, like I would punch them in the face or I'd gouge their eyes out, Like You're not allowed to talk about you like that. You are my friend. We can never be friends, then, I'm sorry, don't put yourself I'm very self deprecating, and he's actually the best at it. Well, yeah, he's a champ of being self deprecating. This an issue we do with Dean all the time. He's incredibly charming and he

has the ability to make everybody feel loved except himself. Yeah, but there's some deep underlying psychological issues there. Oh, I don't know exactly what specifically, Otherwise I would identify them and fix them, you know, like if I my car was broken, I knew what was wrong in my car, I would fix it. But it's broken. You're not broken. I'm not broken. I'm just if I were a car,

I would be broken, but as a human, I'm fully functioning. Anyways, the point that I was trying to say to make was that we would not be friends because you would be very critical of my self deprecating humor all the time, or maybe I would be a great friend and then we could get you to a better spot. But I mean a good spot. I like my I like being self deprecating. I enjoy it. There's I'm in a place for self deprecation, but if it actually gets deeper to

like you don't value yourself. I just did a social experiment when I had women come into a studio and I had them list on a white board the top five things they value, and none of them wrote themselves, Like, think about it, what would you guys write down? What would myself either? I don't think anyone of anybody in the studio I would right myself. Although I am underlying all of the self deprecation and all that stuff. I am one of the biggest egomaniacs I think that I

possibly know. And so it's like a weird dichotomy between the two. But I think that people don't put themselves because they trying to look outwardly right, Like they're not trying to They're not like looking at themselves and saying me, I value myself the most, which they should, But I think that they're just kind of looking outward more right, I don't know. I just think we were never taught that in school, right to Like, I think now it's

starting to change. Our educational system is starting to change with like even emotional regulation and stuff like that. But growing up in elementary school, I wasn't I was never taught how to love myself totally. I mean, I allow you the most bullsh things in school, like how to dissect a frog or how to do the Pythagorean there, and like, why do we need to know that in our lives? I have no idea. Yeah, but I also think that helping others gives, like for me, a satisfaction,

a joy, and so that is somewhat selfish. So when I value other people, I guess I kind of do value myself a little bit, just because I know that by doing good it makes me feel better. So is that a selfishacked Well, I don't think selfish is actually a criticism. That's a whole other topic. I think, especially for women, selfish is considered a criticism and selfless is considered a compliment. But part of the definition of selfish is actually having concern for your own desires and needs,

and I don't think that's a criticism. Being selfless is having no concern for your own desires and needs, and I think that should be the criticism above everything else.

So I think you can't pour from an empty cup like it's all good to be of service to other people and if that makes you feel good, like modeled of, but I think it makes everybody feel good, right yeah, but if you are first taken care of, like you can't pour for an empty cup, I think that when you're depleted, you can't be of service to other people.

I also think people don't value themselves as much as they value other people, because as human beings, we you know, as an individual, I know every thought that goes through my head, and I know every act that I do, and there are times where I am selfish, and there are times when I do things just for myself. And I think that knowing that as an individual and human being, immediately I hate myself for that. Does that make sense

even though you shouldn't. And I think everybody goes through this because everybody is selfish at a point, right, you know, everybody does things for themselves, and so knowing that I do that already, I think it already gives me that thought of like, well people are it already makes me hate myself if that makes sense, you feel guilty, of course, how can you not, you know, um, yeah, I mean I can relate to that. I think growing up I was someone who is I am still such a giver.

But I think once I decided to take charge in what my happiness looks like, and I still struggle with that every day. I still struggle with, like, really making time for myself. I haven't before I went on the show. It's been three years that I've had a solid workout, and for me, that was linked so heavily to my mental health. I felt so good, I would eat better, I would be happier, And now I'm just like, oh, it's hard for me to wake up in the morning.

It's hard for me to eat better because I that part of my life, that puzzle piece is missing, and I just haven't found time for it. And that is such a big excuse. I think it's so easy to make excuses for yourself in life, and it takes a much stronger person to be determined to say I'm going to do this and I'm gonna stick by it for myself. Like you said, yeah, I mean time is your most valuable asset. And I think people say you can't find time like I found balance. Balance is a noun and

a verb. It's like not hiding under the couch. It's not a game of hide and seek. It's not like you find any piece out and you're done. It's I use it as a verb because it's something you constantly have to work on every day. So like prioritizing your workout or your gratitude journal, or random acts of kindness or community, like all of these things have been proven scientifically to contribute to your well being and happiness. Like I always go back to the data and the facts,

not the woo woo stuff. And like I'm not saying don't be a giver and don't develop community, because that's actually one of the biggest telltale signs of successful people that they have developed relationships and cultivated them. But not at the expensive yourself. I mean think about like dating to like hello, I totally secondating. This is a part of my life that I have not figured out, but I know that like if I don't have my own going on, like I'm not going to be a partner.

You guys, I'm assuming don't want somebody who's like all about the other person. I mean, for so many years I would say, well, when I get married or when I find somebody, then I'll go on this trip. Then I'll have that adventure. And then I was waiting and waiting and waiting, and then I was tired of waiting and I just went on the adventures by myself. I went to a movie by myself. I was like, this is the rattest thing. Ever, how did I not do that?

The first movie I saw by myself was The Glass Castle because nobody wanted to see it with me, and I was like, I really loved this memoir and I want to go see it. So I just went by my damn's. First movie I ever saw by myself was Superman Returns. Nobody wanted to see it, so I went opening day at eleven am first, showing the slightest Yeah. Anyway, moving forward, it's very run for this conversation and be a Superman too. But you should kill Superman, right or

like for you? I think it's this fictitious idea that we especially as women, and I had to choose women. But all the advice is for everybody, I think, And when you're writing books, you have to just pick your audience. You can't be all things to all people. Um, but the advice is for men or for women. And it's this ideal that we're you know, trying to live up to something that is unattainable. Like we leaned so far into everything, Vanessa, that I think women in particular are

just falling over. Like we're comparing ourselves to the best versions of each aspect of our lives. So like in our fitness regime, we compare ourselves to like the fitness blogger that has the you know, works out five hundred hours you know a week. I don't think that's possible, but whatever. Or we compare our you know, being a mom to some home you know, some woman who makes

bread and homeschools her kids. And we compare our business life to like some CEO of a multibillion dollar company, and they don't have the same responsibilities that we do. But we try to be the best at each of those things. And that's rushing us right, And now it's worse than ever because we can tap into everyone's life and feel like we're part of it, and then really feel like we can compare ourselves through social media, Instagram, the pictures that it's it's so hard, um, And I

relate to that too. And I think people think, you know, they look at someone's lifestyle. I remember when I was single, I'm like, oh, I'll look at a married couple and be like, oh, they have the perfect relationship. Where I would look at something that that I didn't have, And then at one point I'm like, what if they're looking at my single lifestyle and thinking like I wish I were single or I wish I had that too. So that's when I started really appreciating the life that I

that I have, um, and taking advantage of it. One question that I do have, though, which is hard for me to do, is to I feel like I'm really good at sensing people's energies, but it's sometimes hard for me to like avoid having toxic people in my life. UM, what kind of advice can you give to someone like me who's like that person is toxic? Make sure that you do set that boundary so that they don't, you know,

put on that negative energy and onto your life. It's true, I actually had to go through my whole friend list, and friend breakups are harder than breakup breakups in a lot of cases, but I really had to say just because we have history together, like and you're draining my energy, but you're not actually telling your friends sorry, we're not hanging out anymore, right, or you just kind of like

ghosting them as a friend. Yeah, I have a whole plan in the book actually of sometimes like you actually have to say something, and sometimes you trail off and you're protecting yourself because I'm going through this phase right now where I mean, it's not really the same thing, but in a sense it is. I'm on following a lot of people on Instagram that aren't like motivating me to do the things that I want to be doing. If i haven't talked to you a long time, I've

still following. I'm checking my phone right now. They're very I'm on following many many people because they're not adding any value to my life, and we don't we don't talk regularly, so there's no point in me continuing to keep up with their life, right, So do you think it's important for me to reach out to them and be like, hey, I'm on following you know, I don't think we need to have that conversation. So that's what

you're saying, sometimes it's necessary to have that. Yeah, if they confront you and they're like, yo, So I've been confronted by multi people they say, hey, why do you wanna follow me on Instagram? And I always say, oh, I'm sorry. I guess it must have been a glitch in the app or something. I'll refollow you because I'm so unconfrontational that I don't want to be like, I don't know, I just wasn't interested in the stuff that you were posting anymore, or I don't know what what

is your advice on that? I mean, I would just say, like, I'm using my Instagram primarily for work right now, and I hope you're well or whatever. You know. I don't think you need to lie necessarily about it. And most of the stuff that you probably do on social media is for work. It is, but it's also it's like I still follow friends. I always just say, oh, I'm only following travel and dog accounts right now, so I'm

not following any human accounts. I think we feel like we have a responsibility to certain people, you know, for a variety of reasons, and studies have shown that you need two out of three things to maintain relationships. So shared history, so like if you grew up together or if you went through something traumatic together. Um, common interest risks, so if you like the same things. And also an equality in the relationship, so somebody is not a mooch.

If you only have one of those things, that's not for sustainable relationships. You actually have to ask yourself if you have more than one of those things, and if you don't, then cut people to the curb. I mean, time is your most valuable asset. You can always get more money, you cannot get more time. Yeah, that's so hard though. I mean I guess when when it comes

to friends and not that it might be easier. But if you're working at nine to five job and you're with people who are toxic, how do you get rid of them? Or how do you distance yourself from people who you're not compatible with at work? Yeah? I mean, well, it's important to have like work homies to that elevate you. And if somebody is a drag on your time. I

mean it's case by case dependent. But I went through UM so when I had this total breakdown, I needed to rethink basically everything and everything we've been told as cliche. I had to go back and say, like, is this actually applicable to me? So I listed it by city, and I came up with, you know, my notebook, and I literally wrote down, like, here are the people who are good influences in my life in l A and

New York. And I would like stick to the list because in a time of you know, clarity, I wrote down that list of people who elevate me are contributing to you know, my betterment of my career or my you know, share my morals or values or whatever. And then like in a time of weakness where they're you know, tugging at me, I go back and I'm like, we are they on the list? When I was like in this really good space, and then I crossed back that well, Nicola, I just wanted to say thank you so much for

joining us today. You were quite a pleasure to have a studio. Likewise, guys taking another clappy thing, Yeah it's another clap Let's let's let's go exactly, we'll give you a clappy thing. We'll give you one, but not because you're asking for what. We're going to give it because you deserve it. But before we do that, let's talk about your book that you just published. Great, let's talk about Becoming Superwoman. Step plan to get um to go

from burnout to balance? Where can we find it? If we want to go first step you guys already did, which is having you on the podcast. Yes, okay, admitting you have a problem. Well that's the first right. Yeah. All the books are twelve, so yeah, you can get it wherever books are sold, Amazon, Barnes, and Noble. To make sure you're wearing your wedding ring, um, let's realist your wedding ring in New York. And should we talk about the right handed wedding ring that I bought myself. Yeah.

I got in a fight with my ex and I just like walked over to the jewelry store and I went into the wedding section and I was like, oh, I'll take that one. They're like, you're getting married. I'm like yet to myself, here's my own credit card. So Becoming Becoming Superwoman on shelves now? Is it via available on audiobook? It is? I wrote, I read the whole audiobook like I never wanted to hear the sound of my voice ever. Ever? Did that take you a week? Boss?

Bitch took like a week and a half. It was longer. Richard shook about a week too. So for the listeners out there, if you're enjoying this beautiful voice you're hearing on this podcast, you want to get more of it. Becoming Superwoman and Boss Bitch both available on audiobook. I'm on, I'm in our Heart family Now Hello, huch money just lunch plug it right now? Yeah, hush hush money money. Yeah.

My co host is editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, Jason Piper, And so yeah, we debate taboo topics that nobody wants to talk about about money, and then we bring in a celebrity. Give us, give us one taboo topic. Who pays on a first date? To talk about that a lot? Do you lend your friends money? Do you lend your friends money? That's a good one. That's a

hard one. They're all hard questions, and nobody wants to talk about that pends on the do you share your salary with your significant So many about guess are you and actually merging your bank accounts now that you're married? Another good question? Do you have a secrestal question? Is the personal question? But I think I think that's the right, mo. Do you get a prenup so we have a secret account as women? Yes? What do you mean a secret

account as winning have your own back secret? Should a man have a secret if you want to have a secret out, I'm just talking about my girls. Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets for someone. Secrets don't make friends people okay, yeah, but also they don't pay the bills. How about Instagram, Twitter? You're on all those things, I assume, right, Yeah, wherever you can find social media or books, I am there at Nicole Lapin, At Nicole Lappin. That's the pleasure

having a unique full name. You can get the handle of just your name and last name is spelled l A p I N Lappin. Wait a minute, really he did the founder of Twitter. Al Right, guys, see you later. The wedding amazing. Now, thanks, don't say too much. You might un verify you on Twitter again. Guys in Nicole lapping You can check out a book, Becoming Superwoman, a simple twelve step plan to go from burnout to balance, available September seventeen in bookstores and audiobooks. So go check

it out. Nicole, Thank you so much for coming inause. Yeah, you guys to Hey, welcome back to help I suck at dating. And we have two very special guests that are on the phone right now. You know him from his hit show Catfish and their new show We Need to Talk, which is from Attention. It is now on Facebook Watch season four. We have Nive Shulman and Laura Prolongedo. You've all You've also got Bow and Cleo Shulman here who might chime in from time to time? Now and clear?

Are your two kids? Correct? Congratulations? And who's the youngest. You just had a baby this past year. Correct, that's right. We have eight months old Bow and almost three year old daughter Cleo. Wow, congratulations guys, that's incredible. Um. Nive, I mean yeah, I know you guys are promoting We Need to Talk right now, which, like I said, is on Facebook Watch. What kind of generated the show from the start? Why did you want to do this? So? Uh?

I had been working with Attention for years. The guys who started our friends of Mine, and I was just really excited that they were making videos that were obviously social especially driven, and you know, with the intention of helping raise awareness about issues that needed to be talked about. And my wife and I before we were married, when she first got pregnant. Um, besides to make a video about how storily companies in America needs to improve their

parental leave policies. And video did so well that we started making more videos together as a couple, and people seem to really respond to us together, and we just really enjoyed working with each other. So we kind of developed this idea of how do we help people in relationships kind of figure their way through being single, being in a relationship, breaking up, and all this sort of

stuff in between. Well, that's incredible. And now you guys, it's about it's like a six minute you a podcast that you can watch on Facebook right where you guys answer questions, you give advice, you talk about relationships, you talk about your own relationship. That's right, Yeah, exactly. People call in and ask us this about anything, and we usually don't have one answer, but several answers, different approaches

to things. Uh. It's funny because me and I often disagree on the best route for solving common relationship problems, like I say, I say it's okay to go. Really definitely, it's the modern world, the modern world, so I'm a big fan of staying friends with with your exes, where Laura is not not as good as that. Now that did might be because her exes don't want to be friends with her? Are your friends with? I am with

the acception of ones. I've remained very friendly with my long term exs, you know, not not the short term ones, but the meaningful relationships. So we've talked about that on the podcast before, and some have said that there's a bit of like narcissism that goes because I'm the same as you need. I believe it's important to stay friendly

with your exes. But some people believe that you're wanting to do that or your willingness to do that is because like you need that own vindication in yourself, do you, But you don't, you're holding them back alone. Now, I just agree. I think that my active holds the key too many of my own deep dark secrets. So I want them on my side, you know, I want them to like me. Well they're not. They're not inspired to, you know, potentially reveal things about me that you know

they might know. Keep your friends clothes, keep your enemies. But Laura, would you be friends with needs exs too or is it? How does that work? It's a little weird. I don't hang out with them. I'm just like once in a while, I, you know, will communicate with an email or hey, how you doing or congrats on your new kid or whatever, stuff like that, reply to a story or something, and they know that you're always thinking about that. The real question is, Laura, would you be

friends with me if we broke up? Yeah, I would have to. I think that kids, the kids out of wrinkle and the yes, the kids. The business adds all types of wrinkles. And I'm surprised to hear that Laura says that ghosting is an okay thing to do in two thousand nineteen because obviously the resounding obviously everyone's on their high horse and they say, no, you should never ghost. You should provide closure for both parties. But you see,

you said you think it's a good thing. I think there's way too much responsibility on people now with social media to like maintain all these relationships to make sure everyone feels okay, and it's just a lot of energy that you're using on things that shouldn't matter anymore. Well, I think that really that just depends on how many relationships you're in, Right, that's true. But I think, I mean, I think after a date or two casuals, ghost is okay. I don't think if you've been a for a few months,

you know, that would be kind of messed up. And I don't think you owe someone anything After a couple of days, it's like, all right, I didn't work out, move on. I think some people deserve to be ghosted. There are some weird people out there that you can go on a date with the just act weird and they just deserved to never hear from you, and you want to give them as little information about you as possible. Yeah, I agree. So so what else are you guys working on.

You've got Catfish obviously going on seven seasons. That is incredible. When you started Catfish, could you ever imagine it would have taken off and become such a pop culture phenomenon as it is now? Definitely not um. But almost more astounding to me is this is by far the longest I've ever held a job. So I'm just amazed that I, you know, almost eight years later, I'm still working on the same things. I impressed myself even sometimes to think

that I I've managed to keep this thing going. And let's say the same thing about Dean with this podcast. But it was I knew you, guys, I wanted to beat you. That's one of the most refreshing things I think I've heard all that. Well, so, but you were originally correct if I'm wrong. So there was a documentary on catfishing that you were the central point focus of, right, and then we spun that off, and then you became the to the show Catfish. That's right. So essentially I

got catfish before. That's what it was called. Um My brother made a documentary about it, which we didn't know it was going to turn into a thing, but it did, and we called it catfish, not even expecting that that would then get turned into the word to describe the sort of act of fake profile creation. Um, but it did. And then people just started reaching out to me with all their weird, wild, creative stories and I just didn't know which sort of responded by saying, all right, well

people need help with their situations. Maybe maybe we can make a show. So you're saying that your brother is the one that coined the term catfish, Well, I mean, technically we all deal you know all of us who were part of the film. Yeah, I'm curious. I'm curious the origins why catfish. So in the documentary when we were essentially without giving away because you obviously haven't seen it, you should not, not because it has anything do with me,

just because I think it's a really beautiful film. But I thought I was talking to this young woman who I was calling in love with and her whole family.

And when I got finally to Michigan to meet them and discovered the truth, Um, we ended up talking to a few other people involved, including the husband of the woman who was involved, and she she told us the story about fisherman using catfish in that in these giant tanks under their ships while they were extending weeks uh at the to tape the cod fish that they were catching around to keep them moving and antile and sort of flesh tasty and well whatever, And so in life,

he says, there are people like that who are catfish who kind of keep us all getting and keep us on our toes and sort of nipping at our fins, if you will. And so it was sort of meant to be a beautiful metaphor for those who you might call rule breakers or people who you know, draw outside the lines or sink outside the box. Um, little did you know that was going to be the word shouted at you as you walk down the street. Yeah, I

mean it's kind of turned. It's it's like the name of modern dating, you know, because now there's so many different names, Like we talked about ghosting, breadcrumbing, all these different meanings, These different words now have taken on so many different definitions in the modern dating world, and it really all originated with catfish. So you, my friend, have made your staple on the history of the world. Well, thank you, Yeah, David as a dictionary. Um, so, Laura,

let me ask you, have you ever been catfished? Or have you ever been ghosted? Because I'm curious now with your ghosting take if you've ever been ghosted. I've never been ghosted, but I've ghosted a plenty. Have I ever been cat fished? You know, I think we were all catfishing and catfished on like early Internet, you know, cat rooms on AM. You would go on and you'd say a s O and you'd lie and be like, I'm

sixteen when you were eleven. Yeah, my entire childish that's a very funny way of looking at it, because you're spot on. I've definitely pretended to be someone else in chat rooms many times as a kid, just board and having fun, and as a kid you do so many fun. Dumb we judge these people, but like, if everyone knows the most fun you can have? Have you ever been on I used to go on what's the now? My mind is blanking? It was the misconnections on craigslist? Thank

you good lord. You ever go on those? I don't know, I don't know what like if you only go to look if you feel as though you have one? So went on and you have. Somebody introduced me to this and was like, have you ever heard of mixed connections

on craig List? And they would just read through them in These poor people who just thought they saw the love of their life passed by them at a grocery store would go on this misconnections on craig list and say, uh, if the woman who is at stopping shop one pm yesterday was wearing a blue shirt saw me, please respond to this because I think that we had a strong connection. Like oh, it's just so heartbreaking but also addicting to read I mean, if I'm being honest, I probably have

like a dopy misconnections every day. You might have one right now. No, I don't mean I don't need people wanting to I you know, I just every time I went down the street, I think, oh that person is cute. Oh my god. If that's not a good enough tease for everybody to tune in, we need to talk on Facebook. I don't know what is it. So do you guys have one common question that people always ask you about

relationships that you see reoccurring? I think, I mean, I think the biggest question people are asking should I end it? But that mean that should be also just a plethora of issues that come up. But people just really are unsture of themselves when it comes to continuing a relationship or for ending it. Um. And so do you think that your background with Catfish do you think that's hurt

or helped your relationships? I'm curious about that. Uh, it's funny I think being in a position to discuss just you know, because we obviously the show is sort of based on online relationships that have some element of mystery to them. Um, but the actual dating part is minimal. When you kind of get to the core of what the show is, which is just like people talking about

how they feel. And so I think, on one hand, it's definitely improved my listening skills because I do my best to hear with these people have to say, and in the moment the very little time, understand, interpret and offer some sort of advice or something that might be helpful. But but yeah, I mean, I think I think it's it's made me a just a better person, which I think in turn makes me a better person in relationship, if nothing more, if nothing else more honest maybe, Yeah,

I think that's the biggest thing too. You go through all this kind of like this weird stuff, especially being Catfish and then it becoming so public and then hosting the show. I'm sure, especially as a host, what you see most is people being dishonest, which only in turn makes you want to be more honest in your own

personal health. Yes, No, I mean, but if I'm being honest now, I think being famous makes me a better person because nowadays, if you're famous, like you can't do anything wrong without someone known seeing or taking a picture or a video, Like you can't put it online because someone's gonna screenshot like, so now I'm on the straight and narrow because I have to be right and I want to be There's a quote that I like that

I heard recently. It says, act so you can tell the truth about how you act, and if you're famous, people obviously always know how you act, and so it just kind of or on the flip side of that, I mean, grant, I don't know what it's like to be famous or anything like that, but you can just act like a head and get away with it whatever you want. You know, you either have to go full head like totally lean into it and just be that, or have to be a saint and not many of

you make one mistake, you know. I hope that your fans will will stay, you know, get your back. I took their out of just moving into a van and hoping for the best, and it's it's actually worked out pretty well for me so far. To be honest, stop

stealing bread. Niven and and Laura to tell us more about where we can find you guys to watch the show because it's airing right now right season it's yeah, season four on four is on Facebook Live right so right, so so yeah, you can find the page for the show we need to talk by just searching for we need to talk on Facebook. We're also on americ you want to find our pages and uh yeah, we're posting new episode every Friday, I think, and the first one

just went up. And where else can we find you guys? Obviously Instagram, Twitter, all that kind of stuff. I would so, yeah, of course Snapchat, although Laura's Laura snaps out a lot more than I do. Snap that's where to go. Tell me, you guys don't have TikTok. Do you have TikTok? Oh? Yeah, we don't really you tech talk, but we should. We should probably get on. I keep hearing everyone's always like

TikTok's the future, TikTok's the younger Demo. Every time I hear that, I just think to myself, there is not a chance in snowflake's chance in hell I ever get on TikTok. No I try. I created the user name just so I would have it, but I can't, honestly cannot. I feel like a grandparent when I go on there because I have no idea how to use it exactly. I'm twenty eight years old, and I feel the same exact way I feel like I don't belong anyway. Thank you guys so much for calling it and joining us.

We appreciate it. We will be sure to check in on the We Need to Talk show on Attention on Facebook watch um, and we're looking forward to seeing more from you guys. Like you said, you guys, you guys got something special, So we're looking forward to more and we'll talk to you soon. Neve, Laura, thank you. Thank you guys. I guess well, there you go. Dude needs awesome and I I love their energy. I I I will admit I have not seen We Need to Talk. I'm going to go binge watch all four seasons right

now because they're captivating to listen to. Even right off the bat, She's like, I think you should ghost people, and he's like, I think you should be friends with your X and I'm like, I love them both. They're just so raw and honest. I never saw I've never seen We Need to Talk. I've never seen the documentary that Neive was on, but I've seen quite a few episodes of Catfish and I like Neive and it's funny to be able to talk to him now. I wish I uh wif you had more time, or maybe we

had him to come into the studio. Just I feel like that would be a lot of fun I wish were both in studio if you want. It would be funny. Actually is if his or him or his pr people would set up like in person interviews and then showing up to the interview would be someone completely different. He would catfish interviews. That's such. Why are you not his publicism?

This needs to happen now on a big stage And if you're listening to this and honestly, why wouldn't you be do that and give me like on Live with Kelly and Ryan. Yeah, you know, it's like a big stage like that, and they hype up his entrance and out walks Dean from Paradise. He's like, no, I'm neive, guys, what are you talking about? That would be very funny. That would be fantastic. Anyways, that'll do it for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? Big thank

you to everyone involved, Vanessa, Jared Nive, Laura Nicole. Wow, we had a lot of people in today. Um. Thank you to our sponsors as well. We couldn't be here with at you, But most importantly, we couldn't be here without the listeners, So thank you to you guys. Be sure to tune in next week where we're gonna be a recording live from Las Vegas, Nevada, Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas never stays in Vegas. Don't especially when you record a podcast, because then it just gets broadcast

the entire world. Um, we look forward to that. We are going to talk about things and stuff that you're not gonna want to miss. Cool story bro. Anyways, be sure to tune in then because maybe we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast