Calls for Help from the #SuckArmy

get to our first caller here, and his name is Seth. Hey, Seth, how's it going? Hey? Pretty good in you? We're doing good? Thanks for joining us. What's going on over there? Uh? Yeah?

I basically wanted to figure out I've been into this girl and keep wanting to make plans to hang out, and I've reached out multiple times to go on another day, and I know she's busy since she's a nurse, but she she said no because of work, because of being tired, you know, all the above every time, and my friend keeps telling me if she wants to see you, she'll make time. So I'm wondering is this true for me? Or like, do I let her make the effort? Now? M what do you think? Yeah? I mean it sounds

like she's making excuses. Seth. I think you should uh talk to someone who wants to invest as much time into you as you want to invest into them. That would be my advice. Sounds like she's making excusive I agree with your friend. She wants to make time for you, should make time for you. But Jared, she's a nurse, she's a busy girl. What do you like doesn't have

the time. Let's fast forward this, right, Seth. You get into a relationship with this girl, your feelings grow either more and then you guys aren't hanging out as much because she's working so much. Then there's resentment because you're not getting your you know, needs filled. It's just a whole thing. I don't know. It seems like it's started off on a rocky road here. Hey, Seth, I got a question for you. How how well do you guys know each other? Have you guys gone on a couple

of dates? Are you just in there like that pre date texting phase? Yeah? Like you know, we we met through a couple of friends and you know, I you know, decided to shoot my shot, me my move, and um, you know, we got We We've done a couple of things that are kind of like, I don't know, borderline, Like like we went out and did karaoke together once because she she you know, likes you know, having some fun at some different bars, and so I thought that would be fun to do. And then um, we went

out dancing together once. Um, but it's it's been kind of gray, like like I know she knows I'm asking her out, but it almost feels like I can't tell for friends or if she's kind of like knowing where I'm coming from, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Have you guys, um, have you

guys kissed at all or anything like that? On the cheek that's almost more romantic than on the lips, I think, yeah, yeah, So like this is where I mean, it's like it's so borderline that it could be friends still, but I think, I mean, she has to know, because there's no way. I mean I've paid for drinks for her before and you know, stuff like that, so it's it's I don't know. And then, like I said, now, lately she's just been

making excuses. Yeah, that's stuff. I would say. My best judgment on this one is that she's got another guy in her life and you might be put on the second string bench here. That's just my guess. It's happened to me before happens to the best of us. Uh. Sure, I'm sure she's busy at work there. You know, I'm not denying that. But like Jared said, if if she is too busy for you now, she'll probably be too too busy for you later as well. Like let's say,

if you guys get into a relationship. Um, so yeah, I would say maybe, like, if you're really interested in her, stay in touch, But I would say, don't get hung up on it, because it sounds like she might have other prospects that she might be more interested in. In my opinion, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong, but I think i'm right. I feel the same like I hope you're wrong, but I think you're right to I don't know, man, it's yeah, but seth, Hey, I

believe in your man, you got this. Just stick to your guns, be a good guy, and you'll figure it out. But thank you so much for calling. Best of luck. We can't wait to hopefully we can hear back from you later on. And here that you guys getting married having kids? Yeah later yea, thanks Seth. All right, Next up, Jared, before we get to Sarah. We got Sarah coming in. She actually might be coming right now. Do you feel better worth giving advice to people as their callers or

did you prefer as emailers? I feel worse. I don't like talking because I just feel bad. At least with emails, I could just express my true feelings. Would be like it's like commenting on Instagram versus actually talking to someone face to face. I'm like to I thought, I'm not sure if it's gonna work out right right? Well, I mean, hey, come on, you've got you gotta tell them the truth.

That's what they need, that's what they're calling in for. Um. Next up, we have Sarah calling and Sarah are you there? My here? Can you hear me? Welcome to the podcast? I'm good. How are you? We're good? Thank you for joining us. What's going on over there? So? You know?

Like to me, I just kind of feel like I'm like just so over dealing with these dating apps and I've only been doing it for like four months, but I feel like I'm just not getting like the likes or the messages like from people I would have like

any interest in you know. Um, So I'm just like wondering, Like I mean, our dating apps really just worth the time and the emotional investment that I feel like I've already started putting in because I just haven't met anyone on a dating app, Like, it just doesn't feel like it's the thing for me. Um. And like my friends, my family, they're like, oh, you know, don't give up. You know the right one is out there for you.

But it just feels pointless, like I'm just getting exhausted, um, you know, and I'm just thinking, like wondering, like has anyone of your friends met their significant others like through a dating app or like even like through I like, you know, from Instagram, like people d M one. Like, I mean, that's just kind of what I'm we're on at right now. Right No, I G has definitely kind

of turned itself into a little bit of a dating app. Well, a funny story for you, Sarah Um you asked if I know anyone that's gotten together over a dating app. The answer to that is yes, my brother just married his wife who they met on Tinder, and uh it turns out she actually meant to swipe left, which is like a like a no to him, and she accident right and now they're married. So dating I's definitely work, But I gotta ask what would be your like what's

your alternative? Like, let's say you get off the dating apps, how do you think And of course if you want to be in a relationship, if you don't have to be, but what would be your alternative to meeting guys? Do you think would you go out to the bars and meet him? Would you mean them, um, in your church group or something. I mean, I don't know, like what would your alternative be? Well, I'm not in the church group,

so I guess that's not my my thing. Um, I guess, like I don't know, I just have this is like old school. You know that you need somebody at a bar, you need somebody like at a party. But you know, I know that, like the dating app is just like what I mean, I feel like every you know, that's

just what everyone talks about these days. Um, A part of me just feels like maybe you know, I just meet like you know, the meat cute, like at the supermarket or a target, like I guess I just have like this false um like or this you know, the entertainment world is just giving me these like meat cute things that I just have an experience like, I just feel like I've been so unlucky and love, you know,

I mean I do. I do think American cinema has kind of sillly the whole aspect of meeting people because you, like you said, you want to meet cute, you're bump shopping carts at the grocery store going for the same bundle of lettuce or something like that. Um, I mean, Jared I are both fans of dating apps. I think, right Jared, we always kind of talk them up a

little bit. It's a great way to meet people. I think the issue is with dating apps it makes people lazy, and like you said, you're you're matching with the people that you are not as interested in as the people that you really want to meet. So I think it's as as crappy as it as it is to say. It's just like a numbers game where the more like bait you throw out I guess into the water, the more chum you throw out on the water. The more bites you're gonna get with people that you actually actually

might like. Um, but I don't know, that's a tough one. It's a tough one for both of us too, because we've been in long term relationships here. But Jared, what do you think? Yeah, I mean dating apps can be difficult, but also maybe sire change your like a whole approach to a dating app and don't think of as a solution but just something to have fun with and then who knows, maybe someone will come about, because like I kind of also disagree with the notion that like old

school way of meeting someone. It's just things are different now, you know, Like my sisters met My sister met her husband on a dating app. My cousin met her husb on a dating app. Like, dating apps are just a part of finding a relationship nowadays. It doesn't mean that you have to find a relationship to the app, but just like have fun, swipe through see if you guys, if you like, like, don't go into it thinking that you're going to meet your husband through a dating app.

Just kind of have fun with it, you know, if you're not swiping through TikTok, swipe through Tinder. I mean, but it's like Tinder, Like, can I just ask you, because like I've done Tinder, and I feel like that one is just so much more of a hook up app. Is there one that, like you feel like, are more because they feel like there's so many, you know, like magic harmony. I say, honestly, I'd say plenty of Fish

and Hinge are two really good ones. I know that, Like, I don't know why plenty of Fish gets a bad rap. I think plenty Fish is great. That's where my sister mayor her husband and my cousin met her husband. Uh, plenty of Fish. I think it's pretty good. Interesting right out, Sarah, I agree with you that Tinder does feel more of like a hook up appy. I feel like that's when most people are like, oh yeah, like I hooked up this guy on Tinder, Like you never hear someone be

like I married the guy from Tinder. Yeah yeah, yeah. My brother is definitely a spectacle in that sense. Um. I would say my two favorites were always Hinge and bumble Um. But I don't know how. You know, times might a change, they might be a little bit different nowadays, But yeah, Hinge seems to be at least the overlap there, Hinge in plenty of fish, and maybe Bumble give that a try to. But I said, just keep putting yourself

out there. Um, maybe you have one of your friends like diagnose your profile, maybe your profile because use a little bit of tinkering, you know, because it's always hard to like describe yourself on those things, especially when it comes to like your info page and stuff. Everyone hates that. So I have one of your friends that you really trust to look at it maybe and then they can offer you some pointers and maybe that will help start attracting the right kind of guy. That's a good idea.

I never really thought. I'm always like just so I'm just so nervous for like someone to read my profile. But that's a good idea. Just like have like my trying to look it over. Yeah, well it's better for a trusted friend to look it over than for a potential partner to see it, not like it and move on, you know, So just just keep it in mind. But um,

best of luck. We were hope you nothing but but success with Bumble and Hinge and all those apps, or just maybe you'll have your meek cute like you really want and um, you know you won't need those apps anymore, So thank you for calling. We appreciate it. Thank you, And Jared, I gotta say I'm very happy we don't

have to be on those apps anymore. The worst. I'm a fan of dating apps, but man, being on them, the theory of that makes a lot of sense, and I'm glad they're out there for people, but it just does sound a bit exhausting for for for us now. But we have another caller calling in. Her name is Taylor right, I'm well, how are you good? Is that? Thanks for joining us? What's going on? Your name? Oh? His name is hanful hot right now? Hansel? Yeah, it's

in the cuter. What's going on? Taylor phillis in? Well? Um, you know, just like everybody else, like the last two or so years, I've had a lot of changes in my life. Um, and I have like more anxiety than I have ever had in my life, and I'm I'm kind of nervous that that my like mental health will just get in the way of of dating. Um, do you think it's better or it doesn't, like not matter that the person you're dating deals with anxiety and can

relate or I don't know. No, that's a really good question. That's something that we haven't really talked about much on this podcast. I feel like, um, and it's a real thing. Like obviously people deal with anxiety and stress all the time. UM, I would say, what would I say in regards to this, Like Kalenklin deals with anxiety every once in a while, and as her partner, the best I can do is just like offer my support and be there for her

as someone that's experiencing it. In your case, I would hope that like maybe you're you know, going to therapy or doing something at least to help, um, help ease it a little bit, you know what I mean? Because I think when I would never call it an anxiety and issue, but it's definitely something you want to like to see if you can get a hold of and um not be so crippled by it, I guess in

that sense. But it's definitely good to see people that try to take care of it or like help help fix it rather than just like be like this is this is what it is, and I just have to deal with it. Like if you just take actionable cost to fix it, I think that's a good thing. Um, and if you were dating, you know, someone and they saw you doing that, I think that that would be a really reassuring thing for them to see as well.

But um, Jared, what do you think about it? I think sometimes I when dealing with anxiety or stress, I forget that the only person that can really solve the problem is me. So in my own head, one of the ways that I try to deal with it is I try to recollect myself and think outside of my own body and say, okay, listen, the only person that's going to solve this issue is you. So either keep living this way and keep living a lesser life than I know I can, or I actually go for the

things that I want and work towards those things. Uh. And so that's the way I try to deal with it now. It's obviously much easier said that done. And like Dean said, there's a lot of things to help you with that that I've you know that Dean goes therapy. I've been to therapy, you know, being able to talk

to my friends talk through things. You know. Just a lot of times when I have things in my head once that I once I expressed them, I realized they're not that difficult of obstacles to overcome, if that makes sense. Like so many times in my own head, it just builds up. It builds up, and I'm like, how am I going to ever do this? And then I'll be expressing my fears or my stress to other people, and as the words are leaving my mouth, I realized, oh

wait a minute, I can deal with this. Now that I'm saying out loud, I've realized that I am able to handle uh, you know, my emotions for sure. I uh, I go to therapy and I'm of the like mindset that you can't complain about it if you're not willing to do something about it. Um So, I've been trying to take care of it. But yeah, it's like it's just an uphill battle. Um So, I didn't really know, like how do I how do I connect with people when I have this thing that makes me afraid of pronection?

Have there been any moments where you like personally felt like it's gotten in your way rather than just like assuming. Have you Have you seen any like moments where it's been like pretty obvious to you that it's been a detriment. Yeah, it's just I like the over reading of this situation, like reading into people's facial expressions or like body movement language and assuming a thing which I mean, like you shouldn't do anyway, but sometimes it's hard not to UM.

And it's kept me from pursuing people that I'm interested in or putting myself in situations in which I might find someone I'm interested in. Right, Yeah, that's tough, UM, But I really I love what you said to You can't complain about something unless you're doing something to fix it, right, Like that's that's really well said, really really good idea. UM. And so I mean it sounds like to me like you're focusing on on bettering yourself and that's exactly what

you should be doing. UM. And then eventually, you know, the relationships will come as they may, and you know, whomever you end up spending the rest of your life with, I hope that they'll just love you for exactly who you are, UM, whether you have curbed the the you know everything that's going on, or you're still working on it, whatever it might be, that they still accepted you for that. UM. And a lot of times too, it's like it's it's

almost not better, but in a lot of ways. It can be a good thing to meet someone while you're in like a vulnerable state because it shows you, it shows I'm your true colors and allows them to kind of like get a glimpse into, uh, you know, you being a little bit more vulnerable with them. So instead of looking at as a negative thing, it could be a positive thing at the end, you know, where someone gets to see you for you and and except you for you even during the lower moments. You know, I

hadn't thought of that, So thank you. Yeah, of course, Um, but best of luck. We wish you nothing but the best. Keep going to therapy. We're all doing it and I think every literally every person in the world could benefit from therapy, so we always advocate for that. And it's good to hear that you're doing that for yourself. I'll continue to it for myself, Jared, get back into therapy. You're blowing it. Um, But thank you so much for joining us, Thank you for calling in. We appreciate being

vulnerable with us. And the best of luck, Thank you you too. That's gonna do it for our color portion of help. I suck at dating. I like them. I it's a little different because like Jared said, you know, you want to be a little nicer to the people because they're talking to your face to face versus an email l um. And a lot of times I'll just like start saying stuff before having any idea of what I'm gonna like, what my point is I'm trying to make is and so I sound like an idiot. But

it's fun. We're getting we're getting the hang of it, we're learning, we're growing, growing pains, growing pains. We're all in pain. We're all in pain. Are the listeners are in pain? Really apologize for that, but once again, thanks for tuning in to help I Stuck at Dating. Thank you to all the callers calling in. We really appreciate it. Keep calling in, uh, because this segment is not going away anytime soon. And at the end of the day, as much as I like being mean to everybody, I

do love talking to you guys as well. It is a lot of fun. So uh, once again, thank you for listening to the podcast. It meets the world to all of us. Make sure you tune in next week or hopefully we also lock just a little less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast