Caelynn's Compromise

asked if she could guess them. Let's be real. She politely asked if she could be a co host on the podcast this week, just to um, just to speak her truth and and bear her soul to us lucky sucky daters. That a person, of course is Kyln Caylyn Miller Keys. I don't know why I studied there. I was gonna say Kaylin Bell, but obviously that's not the case yet, So for now, it's just Kaylen Miller Keys. Caylen, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much, Dean Um.

The main reason I wanted to come on here is because Dean keeps saying ridiculous things about our relationship. Well maybe not ridiculous, but the headlines are ridiculous, and I'm getting sick of the trolls coming in my d ms and telling me that Dean is a bad boyfriend. So I just wanted to set the record basically. So I, well, let me start by, did you want to come on the podcast before we sent that video in the group chat from Zachary reality, Um, I think I think she

saw that on her own. And then yeah, that was sent amongst the group, but I didn't watch it. I was tagged in it on TikTok and I like started watching it and then I was like, if he's get in his talk crap about Dean, I'm not gonna watch it. So I stopped. Well, he he doesn't say mean things. So I've met Zachary before years ago, Ashley and I have. He's a massive Bachelor fan. He was very sweet and in the video it's quite funny because he says that, like,

Dean should just stop saying stupid about your relationship. On the podcast, that's pretty much it, because there's all these headlines like, uh, I don't know, so I guess, Caitlin, what are some of the headlines out there? What do people talk about in your d ms that frustrates you so much? From some of the things that Dean so wisely says on help, I suck at dating. That's a good question. Yeah, let's pinpoint exactly what it is. It's

just it really mainly is the headlines. And it's like I get that people have a job to do and they're trying to get people to read. But the thing is that people are just reading the headlines and they're not reading the actual like what he actually said. And I don't know why this one like upset me. Normally trolls like don't get to me, especially in our relationship because we are strong, But is when they talk crap

about him that I get so upset. I'm like, he is such a great boyfriend, he's such a great partner, Like, don't tell me there's red flags, because there's not a single red flag, just a couple. Is Dean paying you to come on this podcast this week. It's like I need a big lift to my ego, Calink, you just come exactly, That's exactly what this is. Yeah, that's exactly what this is. I've got Yeah, I've got a lot of cash sitting over there for her. Whenever this is

over with, let's set the record straight from Calin. Well, there's the record. How so here. Well I want Calin though, Okay, well let me let me, let me say something. No, I'm just kidding, Go ahead and go No, I'm totally just kidding. Well, I just want to hear, so Calin, how is your relationship with Dean right now? What type of boyfriend is Dean to you? I mean, it's well, listen, I'm gonna be this guy, this guy. Listen, I can explain. No. Um, I think that she's not gonna say anything bad about

our relationship. I think, but you reason, so sit back. But yeah, let her do some of the work here, buddy, I absolutely will. But exactly, you're here for a reason, and Jared is trying to derail your reason for being here. You're obviously gonna say nice things about our relationships, like our condition of our relationship, but there's other things that you don't like that I do on the podcast that you're being led away from to discuss. Oh okay, so

there don't because maybe I'm wrong. I was under the assumption that Klin wanted to come on and kind of really pooh pooh all these people who are saying that Dean is not a good boyfriend, he has red flags, he's you can do better. Uh, but if you have issues with what Dean says in the podcast, please a lot him out. Yeah, kind of a combination of both. Um. Well, I definitely thought like our engagement was going to be kept a secret, but he's spilled the beans on here.

I'm an open book. I I pride myself in being an open book, and it's actually one of my favorite characteristics about myself. I'm not like I mean, yeah, I can be sarcastic and sometimes and that's when the headlines get like taken out of context because my tone isn't included in the in the um content in the article

or whatever. But I guess I should have kept it more of a secret in terms of like what we were planning on doing, the ring that I was getting you, the fact that I would like to have a wedding gift as well, because I think the misogyny of modern weddings is ridiculous. But that's where I wanted to come on. That was like one of the points because I do agree.

I think buying an engagement ring for a woman and like the man being fully responsible is ridiculous, and I like went in with it, and I was like, why don't we split this because it's something I'm gonna were like, I don't know, I just I don't agree with the man being fully responsible. So then him in return was like, you know what if you buy me a truck, he's not demanding I buy him a chuck, and I just wanted to make that clear. We kind of like came

to that decision together. But I think it's a good compromise because I don't want to have him like financially responsible fully for ring that only I'm going to be wearing. Well, and that was a solution for you, let's hear it, just get engaged on Bachelor in Paradise to get it for rings. So there was a lot of not a lot of discussion. It was kind of like a quick discussion, but there's a lot said in a little bit amount of time where Calin was like, well, why don't we

split the ring? And I was like, well, I don't want to split the ring because I wanted to be like your gift that I get you. And she's like, well, why don't I just pay for it myself? And I was like that's even worse. I don't want you to look at your wedding or engagement ring and be like, well, I bought this for myself. And then we were like, well, why don't you just like reach out to a jeweler and have a jeweler sponsor the ring? And I was like, I don't want to ask for a handout for an

engagement ring. So I like, while I am complaining about how complaining and quotations about having to buy an engagement ring and spend all this money on something that I don't necessarily agree with or believe in. Not the concept of like forever, but the concept of the wedding industry and the diamond industry and the engagement ring industry and all this stuff. I don't believe in that. So I

don't know. I it was It's a it was a lot for me to buy into that, But I also didn't want Kalen to be looking at her finger every day being like, oh, like I paid for half of this ring, it's less romantic, and honestly, like even talking about it right now is probably destroying the romance in it a little bit. But also this is really where this is where I get worked up a lot, is

you just like people don't talk about this enough. You know what I mean, like, I've never had the chance to have a discussion with someone about this scenario ever in my life, and so I'm like trying to have a conversation like outwardly to the world about it because I'm like talking through the things that I'm going through because I've never had the chance to talk to anyone else about it before, and no one talks about it like on Instagram or whatever when they're like posting their

engagement photos and how happy and perfect their relationship is. So like I have got no context to work with here. I'm like simply explaining the things that I'm going through as I'm going through them. And sometimes obviously, like most times, I'm an idiot and I don't know what I'm talking about, but like that's part of like the learning experience that I'm going through that no one else like is able to tell me about, you know what I mean, Like

I can't talk to my dad about it. I can't I talk to my brother a little bit about it, but like, well, I don't know. Now, I agree with you, it's a weird conversation to have because of course you want to be the person to say, oh, it doesn't matter what matters is love and caring. But like, as soon as you can get engaged, what is the first thing people are gonna ask you. Let's see the ring.

Let's see the ring. Let's see the ring. And of course you don't want to be constantly feeling bad about yourself saying oh I should have spent more, or oh it's not that pretty, or like oh well Calin paid for half of it, or oh it was sponsored. So I agree, it's a weird place to be. Um. So yeah, it really we should do a deep dive into the origin of engagement rings. Well, because wedding bands make sense.

I'll tell you, I'll tell and take everything I'm about to say with the biggest grain of salt you can possibly find. So I was on the phone with my brother the other day talking about it, like, you know, I was talking about my experiences. He wants to get engaged to his girlfriend pretty soon, um, and so we were talking about it and I was like, um, this is what we're going through right now. And he goes, well, do you know the origin of why men buy women

engagement rings? And I was like, I don't know. And he even said he's not unsent certain but he said that he read this somewhere, um that the man buys the woman in engagement ring because if anything happens in the relationship, like if they get divorced or if the man dies, the woman can then sell the engagement ring for like six months worth of living costs. And like that's where that, like the whole origin of engagement rings

is derived from. And it it's ridiculous. The misogyny and in that is so ridiculous, and it's just like a tradition that stuck. And again, I could be entirely wrong. That's exactly that's what he told me. He's a really smart guy. I trust his judgment and his opinion on things, but sometimes he can be complete idiot um. And it could be one of those cases where that's what that

is going on. But I do take everything with a grain of salt when anybody starts a statement with I read somewhere, Yeah, I read, uh yeah, I read an article on US Weekly about how the engagement rings were this um, well but no, and and then the other thing last week too that people seem to focus on, which is probably pretty annoying for Kalin and annoying for me. I've got really thick skin when it comes to this stuff, because I just really don't care about what any of

these people say. For the most part, some of it gets under my skin. But um, there's just people that I uh have, you know, not like little respect for, but they've just gotten they don't have enough insights, really have an opinion that's gonna affect me. Um. And and Calin obviously is not less thick skin when it comes to that stuff, But I've just been doing it longer,

so I guess I'm more used to it. Um. People were saying stuff like, oh, he's he's not gonna give her forever, like he doesn't want to get married, blah blah blah blah blah. And I'd like talked to Cal's grandparents about this, where I was like, I don't even want a wedding. I just want to go to a courthouse and do it, and like it's not the concept of the marriage essentially that I am not super on

board with. It's just like the whole leading up to it, the engagement, the wedding planning, and inviting your friends to come celebrate you for a day is terrifying to me. It feels like a birthday when I was like in middle school and I invited a bunch of friends over and no one showed up. I would be terrified that none of my friends would show up to our wedding. Um what else. That's that's that's basically the main gist of it. But yeah, yeah, what did you talk to

my Oh? Well, I was just like we were so I well, I told them that we're gonna get married, and they were like, oh, that's really sweet. And I was like, yeah, but Calin's gonna probably want to do something extravagant or like whatever. And I was like, if it were up to me, we would just go to the courthouse and signed some documents and be done with it. So it's just it's it's a big it's a big uphill battle for me here. And I don't know if you I don't know if you remember this, but years ago.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling here, uh years ago on this podcast. Maybe maybe this is even pre jared of help. I

suck at dating. Uh. My question or my my thoughts on marriage were being discussed and I was like, yeah, you know, I don't want to get married ever, but if I do get married, I would want it to be like not like against my will, but I want to be like convinced that it's a good idea because that way I know that, like I'm not getting married because I am like over excited about the concept of marriage. I'm getting married because it's someone that I love and

I want to spend the rest of my life. But and this is basically exactly how it's playing out, Like I don't need to get married. Do I want to get married, I don't know. But the fact that Klin wants to get married is enough of a reason for me to want to get married to Kayleen. And that that's kind of exactly what I described, like six five years ago, and never this podcast started, was I'll do it, but I don't want to do it, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I'm sure that makes Caylen feel great.

I think it's I think it should. I don't want to get what I'm doing it because I love Kalin. And that's like, of course, that's about as good as it could possibly get. If I was like grease, I was like, I want to marry Kalin like three days after meeting here. I think that'd be like sure, he'd be romantic in a second, but it'd be like a flash and plant pain where it's like, but I don't

even know this person. So I agree, I would rather be with someone who feels like Dean than someone who's on the opposite spectrum, which is like, after meeting twenty four hours, hey, let's get married, let's get engaged. Because you're like, wait a minute, we're rushing into this. Do you actually love me or do you love the idea of being with someone? It's not my love of Kalin that's in question. It's the concept of marriage and the concept that crap by. Advice for you, Dean would be

that relationships are all about compromising. So who's compromising here? Who's compromising? Thank you are definitely compromising. But I think Kalin also has compromised quite a bit in your relationship. From an outsiders, please please inform us how that's how

you know that's the case. I'm curious to know. I think won her adjusting to your van life, to her adjusting to the idea that like you need space, you need time away, you know, three, adjusting to the idea that you are completely against like big weddings or any type of conventional wisdom, and her trying to lean into that and make sure that you feel comfortable and that you're okay with the idea of us you two getting married, but also you know, hey, I do want a celebration.

Uh like the domestical life. So but o Dean, you have also compromised as well. I mean you have to. You're invested in two properties with this woman, which is quite big. And uh, you have definitely domesticated yourself more over the past few years because of your love for Kalin. I think you guys are doing a great job compromising together. My advice specifically with this wedding is that if Calin does want a day of celebration, I think that you

guys should compromise. Okay, we want a wedding, but we're on a small wedding, you know, so it's so like I think that's great. I think it's a good dialogue to have, especially on the podcast, because it's great content and it will get us listeners, which is fantastic. My question for you, Klin, because I want to hear from Calin Moore as well, what are you to say? Well, I want to know your thoughts about engagement rings, because we've heard from Dean about his idea of an engagement

ring and his insecurities about it. So what about you, what are your thoughts on either Dean buying you engagement ring, you buying yourself one the whole idea of an engagement ring. Okay, but we're coming back to that after she answers this to them, to the whole compromise thing. We're coming back

to that. So Calin, I want to hear from you about compromising in the relationship, How Dean is compromised for you and how if you will come back to welcome back to the compromise thing and she can answer your question now, sir, I didn't want to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure that we come back to the compromising because I've got some thoughts on it. Okay, well, which one do we want to do first? Quickly, you guys, you can do your question and then we'll come back

to the thing that I want to discuss. All right, Kaylin, very confusing. I'm so sorry. There's a lot to get to here. What are your thoughts about engagement rings and engagement altogether? Um? I I have never been like I needed like a huge ring or anything like that, and so I was a little embarrassed when Dean. That was when I was like, you shouldn't have said the ring

that I wanted. I was like embarrassed by that. But also I told him, I was like, I don't care the ring size or cut or clarity or anything like that. But I went to a jeweler and of course he's a good salesman, and he kept going up and up and up, and I was like, oh, like the two care is perfect. And then he kept, you know, getting higher and higher, and I was like, oh, that's pretty, and so I left with the pretty one, and um,

but I just don't really care. I think like, we already wear rings on our fingers, Like we already are committed to each other, so it doesn't really matter to me. But I also like love rings, especially, like that's just day to day, like I wear rings, so I want something that I love too. So it's like I don't care about the size, but I just wanted to be unique and that's But also I'm like, but we already wear rings, so it's kind of it's kind of confusing,

and I'm like navigating it too. But at the end of the day, I really don't care because We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, no matter if I switched this ring or not, no matter if I get a cubic or conia ring or not. Yea, I pitched the idea and it was not met with with an open mind because I'm picturing like a gumball machine ring. But you can't. I mean, I personally couldn't tell the difference between a cubic or conia ring and like a perfect, really real diamond. Am I an idiot

for not knowing what a cubic? Yeah? It's like it's like the fake diamond studs that you would see in like ear rings or rings or something like that that you get for like four dollars from like a Claire's or something like that. Right. Yeah, I wouldn't go for that engage in ring in terms of compromising, but I think there's more. I think there could be more conversations with that. Um. Okay, so then I want to talk

about the compromising yeah. Um. So it made pretty clear that Kalin doesn't truly care about like how much how big the engagement ring is, more like, specifically, let's find something that's unique to our relationship than I can wear for the rest of my life and look down on and be like, oh, this is the ring that Dean gave me. Actually, I have a question for you, Calin, because we talked about it on this podcast prior, just quickly about engagement. Would you ever want to propose to Dean? Yeah,

and I'm going to, uh what, we're waiting. We're waiting and she keeps talking about it as who knows obviously doesn't have iten yet, but it's going to and uh yeah, because when he first put the idea, it was a joke and then I was like, wait, that's really cool that I could be able to like make a day special for him, but also that this is another thing that I don't really know do people Like people know that they're getting engaged, but I wonder how many conversations

they're having leading up to it, because we've had a lot and like, I know he bought the ring, and I know I have the ring. The ring is in my possession, so it's like, I don't know. I'm like, are we talking about this too much? Is it less romantic or I don't know? Yeah, wait a minute, Oh my god, I forgot about that. Yeah, you have a ring.

I bought. We even talking about here, Well, I think I about the ring after the two the episode two podcasts to Go where I got a lot of heat, I like went out like a day later, and I already plan on buying it. I was just maybe like venting, and maybe I was venting a little too honestly and candidly. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe it does take a little bit of the romance out of it. I don't personally think so. I think it's, uh, we're having a

practical approach to it. Yes, so Dean, you have a ring, But Calin says that she's not just wanting to but going to propose to you and to also answer your question. I don't think it takes the romance out. I mean, you people make their own romance, you know, like when you really think about it, everything takes the romance out of things because it's just the way it is. But as a married couple who has a baby, you'll learn that you have to create your own romance to a

certain extent um. Wow, that's crazy, Calin. So yeah, you're gonna so, cal it's gonna be like it's gonna be like the Legends of the Lost temple or whatever. That show was one of your kids where you have to collect both halfs of the medallion before you can advance to the next level. And uh, we're not gonna you know, like, if one proposes the other person first, nothing is officially set in stone until the other person proposes back to

the other person. Okay, I like, how great would it be is if you guys both planned a day and you didn't know that you were going to propose to each other and you both started getting down one name, you guys like, oh wait, you you're gonna you're doing too Wait? Can I go first? No? You you go first? You ever? Wait? No, I want to I want to go first. So calin, will you have a ring for Dean? Yes, it is being made right now. Yeah, And oh my god,

so this is happening. Yeah, well that's so exciting. I mean, what you've known this. I've known that you guys are gonna get engaged at some point, but I've heard so many different stories, and I think that is what leads to some of these headlines. Because Dean's does such a great job on the podcast so personal, I don't want you to ever change up. Sorry, Calinkalen, I I feel like in when I relate to your guy's relationship, I'm more like you, Kalen, and Dean is much more like Ashley,

where Ashley is just this open book. And specifically in the beginning of our relationships, she would say so many things and I would get so insecure about them. And I remember her and I talking about a multitude of things early on in our relationship, both with podcasting or brand partnerships, and me being insecure about what people are going to say about us, you know, about how we're insecere or you know, they doubt our our real nous,

so on and so forth. And I remember Ashley and she made this very clear to me, and it was kind of a revelation in my head. She's like, we're happy, we're in love. Why would we do things to jeopardize our financial stability, our future for some random people and what they're gonna say, like that means they're winning. Don't let it that bother you. Like, we're happy, we're in love.

That's all that matters. So that's something that stuck out in my head that that's not to cut you off, but uh, don't go so one of the reasons that I h I say outlandish maybe sometimes things is because one of the things that really bugs me, and we kind of touched on a little bit earlier too, one thing that really bugs me is when people only show the best sides of the relationship, whether it's on Instagram or talking about it with friends, when they only say

how perfect and great everything always is, and then come to find out three months later they're broken up because they've been miserable the whole time. And I wanted to to say that I admire you and actually a lot too, because you guys are very honest and candid about your relationship, um, and it's so it's helpful in a lot of ways too. But you don't get a lot of that candor when

it comes to relationships these days. So like, that's one of the reasons why I tend to go in the complete opposite direction, where I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna say all the little things that are not super great, and then people will like hear me say these things, write an article about it, and they're like, wow, Dean's an asshole, and I'm like, no, I'm just talking about the things that normal relationships struggle with that you don't see other people talking about on a regular basis because

people are too scared to share it publicly for whatever reason. Um. And so you you do a really good job of that. I think that's one of my favorite things about you and and actually rubs off on you in a good way in that in that sense where you do share a lot of your stuff very publicly and openly, which is important and it's helpful I think in a lot

of ways. Well, thank you. And that was definitely all Ashley, because I was much more reserved years ago, and she has brought out a side of me that I've always had, but I've always been afraid to display publicly. Um and

now I'm not as afraid anymore because of her. And also I think you and with how really you are about your relationship Dean specifically on the podcast, shows the strength of your relationship, because if you were truly insecure about some of these things and had doubt in your head about your relationship with Kalen, you wouldn't display this publicly.

You would keep it on the inside. And then, like you said, you like nobody knows anything about your relationship and then all of a sudden three months you guys are broken up. People are like, what happenss like, well, because you don't know what happened behind closed doors. But the fact that you're so open and honest about your relationship, I feel like shows that you guys are in such a strong place that you're like, yeah, that's we're doing great,

but yeah we have problems. We're gonna talk about them on on the podcast because that's like we're fine, we're happy. It's just yeah, it really it really irks me seeing people only showing the good things. And I get it, like you have every right to share what you want about your relationship or keep SECRETI about your relationship, whatever you want, but it's just it's just I don't know

and klins. It sees me, uh like roll my eyes or do a bunch of stuff like that whenever we see someone posting stuff like that, and I'm like, oh my, I would I like audibly always go like oh my gosh, enough like we don't we don't care, we don't care how perfect your life is made up to be through your lens that you're telling the rest of the world, like just be real with us for a second. Um, But yeah, bro, but it gets likes man and all. Sometimes you just got a cater I guess, I guess,

I guess. But anyway, fact I want. I want to bring it back to what we were talking about earlier. You're talking about compromising, and you were saying that Kalin has compromised a bunch, and I'm not saying she hasn't. But come on, I think I compromise a little bit more in this relationship than she has. Dean is very passionate about this topic. Seriously, I've known boo hoo. Calin gets to ride around and the Mercedes Van in and

travel to places she's never been to. You before, Oh, Calin has to travel with her boyfriend who loves taking photographs to new countries she's never been to before, while he drives everywhere and and plans everything. Yes, but just because it's a good compromise doesn't mean I haven't compromised. It's great, and I'm like a better person for it, but I still have compromised. I disagree with the terminology entirely, but it's good. It's a good compromise. Me. On the

other hand, here I am. I bought a house in the Bourbs with my girl. Is it bad? Is it a bad compromise? I think you own a house. I was talking to Calin about this just last week. I don't think I'm cool anymore. I used to think I was the coolest guy in the world, walking around like a smug little bat weevil. And now I don't think I'm cool. I lost my edge. So in a lot

of ways, I've I've given my edge away. I've turned my edge in, and I've picked up a set of cutlery because I love cooking in our kitchen in our suburban house in Las Vegas. But the point shows the same. The show is over. I lost my edge, I gave my edge away, and I traded it in for an engagement ring and a dog. And here I am. Stupid dog, stupid dog. Come on, I'm happy, Yes, I'm happy, but I'm not nearly as cool as I was three years ago. You have to be cool. I think I do have

to be cool. It's where I get my power from. Um. But I still have the power. I still have the ability to do the things I used to do. I guess, but I just I want to. I wanna set the record straight. That's that was my satting record straight basically Okay, got it? I figured. I was like waiting for the next statement. I'm like, what record is? He said right now? And I bought a house with my lovely Boo next to her grandparents and a suburban part of Las Vegas.

And I do home remodeling things for my boo thing. And two things. I have two things. One I can relate to, Uh, you feeling insecure, your lack of coolness. It's something that I feel all the time. And I talked to Ashley about this, how I've been unable to go to the gym as much. I've been unable to do things that like make me feel better about myself, whether that's playing sports or even just um doing things independently because I feel like when I do things independently,

like I feel cooler in myself. And so there is this sense of like you lose some individuality when you're in a relationship. And if you guys have kids, oh, just you wait, you really start losing your individuality then. But having said that, it, you know, like we talked about Dean, life is about compromising, prioritizing because you can't

have everything. So in my head, I always go back to would I rather feel the way I do and be in the situation I am right now, or go back to feeling a little bit more self confident in myself and then going back to the situation I had prior to Ashley. And it's not even a question like I'd I'd much rather be here now. But so it's it's kind of like trying to find that balance of Okay, I gotta do things for myself, but also put my

wife and kid first. So I understand where you're coming from, Dean, But secondly, I do want to I want to continue talking about compromise because I feel like Calin still hasn't been unable to answer the question. So Calin, let's talk about compromise. What what Okay, let's start off. Let's let's think Dean feel pretty good here. What are some of the things that Dean has compromised for you? And then I want to talk about some of the compromise that

you've made for Dean. I'm going to step away from the microphone. I'm gonna step away from the microphone. I'm gonna help a cup of coffee so that way she has the chance to speak um the ways he's compromised, yeah, like with the house, and he has adapted to my lifestyle for better for worse. But I think, like you know, we're happy at the end of the day, Like he probably could have lived this nomadic lifestyle for the rest of his life. But I think we're pretty happy and

where we're at. But I do think like I got the best are under the stick in terms of compromise. Um, Like you know, I like myself a lot more. I'm like more adventurous, outdoorsy, and I've grown a lot in our relationship and that's because he pushes me, and I'm like mad in the moment if we're like hiking and I have to do this scary climb or jump. Um. But like I definitely have compromised too, Like I was a pageant girl and now I'm living in a van

part time. But it's good. He's so dramatic, but it is like I I agree, I got the better in a stick, and my compromises haven't been as hard as his. Well, what are some of the things that you've compromised for yourself to be with Dean? Um? Just like being more nomadic I think is the biggest thing. Like I really liked prior to him to be at home and I wasn't super adventurous, and I just I liked my routine lifestyle and waking up every day. It was kind of

the same thing. So just adapting to a different line like being more mobile and uh less restricted to a calendar. And I don't know, Well, I guess I want to talk a little bit about how you've compromised. Dean's not gonna like this. Dean's not gonna like this at all, but we're gonna talk about it for a second, how you've compromised emotionally, because I do think that Dean is First of all, let's just say this, Dean is one of the most wonderfully human beings on the face of

the earth. I'm not saying this to kiss you're asking. It's true, Like there are a few people, and Ashley and I've talked about this before that the Dean is one of those people that you meet and he immediately makes you feel good, and he immediately makes you feel warm and welcoming, and he's so attentive, and he's just

a wonderful human being. But I do think that you if I was like if I was in a relationship with Dean, like mentally and emotionally, there'd be a lot of compromise that I would have to make internally because like him jumping out of a freaking plane would be something that I would have to be like, I can't like if I if Ashley like every other week it's like, okay, I'm gonna go skydive again. I'm like, okay, I'll just have a day where I'm convinced you're going to die

again and uh, okay, have fun. Like I'll just be in bed with my eyes staring to the ceiling, just waiting for the phone call that the parachute didn't open. No, that's that's true. It took yeah, but like it took a little bit. But Dean's also the type of person who, like I could never tell him not to do something, and he's like, definitely going to do it if I if I'm like, oh I don't love that, you know, so if anything, if somebody scares me, I just encourage

him more. And then he's like, maybe I don't want to do it. But with the side hiving, I yeah, it took a while, and then he was doing this crazy hike and texted me and he's like, if I don't make it back, like there's something in my glove box for you. And that took a like and not hearing from him for a week and being like is he okay? Like did someone take him? Is he fine? Is he hurt? Uh? And I guess I just kind

of that's it. I like close my eyes for a week and pretend everything's fine, and then eventually eventually he'll text me, and I'm like, see that is for me. That would be a part of the conversation of compromising, because I think Dean talks about rightfully so about his feeling of coolness and individuality and having to do this because it makes him happy, which is is that's a

part of relationship. Like I know I'm certainly not as extreme as Dean, and I'm going to sound like such a whimp, but you don't like playing softball for me is one of those things, you know, like I need to do these things. I need to just like get out and throw a baseball or get out and play golf, like play sports, just run do anything. Um. So luckily you know I don't have to put the stress on Ashley. But my point being is that, like I totally get

where Dean comes from. He's like, I need to go away for a week and not be around my phone. But that is also a compromise for you, I feel like, because that's stressful. That's so stressful, Like this is your life, partner, this is something that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then all of a sudden, it's like for a few days you have to just

be like, Okay, I hope he's not dead. Yeah, but here's my take on that really fast, um please, I I think from the beginning of our relationship, I've always made it clear that I don't want us to uh need each other, you know what I mean, Like I want us to want each other. I want us to love each other, but I don't want us to need each other. And we we've kind of gotten away from it a little bit, and COVID definitely put a wrench in the in the system a little bit when it

came to that. But like I want to be I want her to be able to leave for a week and do whatever she wants to do with her friends and not have to worry about what is going on with me in regard to like if I'm okay with her being gone and vice versa. You know what I mean,

Because I think it's like the codependency. You can get pretty bad at certain points in relationships where it's like I and and maybe it's selfish, where like I don't want to feel guilty about going skydiving or going to Pakistan for three weeks because I'm trying to ingraine this idea of like being independent and not necessarily needing the other person. And it changes, I'm sure when you have a kid and all that stuff, But um, I've been,

I've been. I've been trying to drive that point home to the best of my ability, and we, uh, we've done a pretty good job of it. But there are times where maybe we struggle with it a little bit. Yeah, more so more so her. Well, how so, how do you struggle with Kalen? I think I think that's exactly what it was when COVID. I became like so dependent on him during COVID and now I've just been like it was right when things started to open up, when I was adjusting, like, oh crap, like I won't have

him here all the time. And this is what life was pre pandemic was him like going out, us being together for a week, him being gone for a week, and it took a little bit of adjustment. But now I'm like, yeah, he's going to Pakistan for a month and be fine. Yeah. I think unfortunately for Dean, the longer you are in a relationship with someone, just the natural course of things, the more dependent you become on them.

Not like you said, I mean there's a sense like, of course, like for me personally, I want to be with Ashley, but there is a part of me that needs to be with Ashley now. Now it's also different with Dawston. That's a big difference. But even like I think back before Dawson, like if if we were to break up, I don't know, there is a I don't know. It's it's tough, not that it would take a while for me to get out of the mindset of needing someone.

I don't know if I'm articulating that well, but it's just it's it's tough, you know, because I do believe that the longer you are with someone, the more dependent you become on them, and it's just the natural course

of things. So that's tough. Yeah, I don't know, they're hard there are parts of it too where and I mean we've we've fallen in line with that like ideology a lot too, And it's funny to see both of us, like we start slacking in certain areas that we know the other person is going to be more attentive to, like like even like simple things like around the house, Like I'm not gonna worry about memorizing um codes for things because I know Kalin has all those things figured out.

So it's like normally I would obviously have to have to have those things down and like figure it out. Like I don't know my pin number to my to my debit card because why would I need it when Klin knows the pin number to my debit card? You

know what I mean. Like there's stupid things like that where I just like fully have just raised the memory receptor of my brain because I don't need to anymore because Calin knows it, and I'm sure she has the same things for me to Like, Yeah, I've definitely become dumber since being in a related I feel so stupid.

I really do feel that I talked about this really because we're so because there are so many things that, like you said, I used to be responsible for I don't have to be with Ashley, and there's so many things that she's not responsible for because of me. Um, Like we were talking about this yesterday when we were going through the airport and Ashley used to have a great sense of direction. She still does, but now, like

I mean, she's constantly walking in the wrong way. So and yesterday she's like, you know why this has happened because I'm so used to you just leading the way that now I don't need to know where I'm going. And I'm like, yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense because I'm always like this way, this way. Come, you know, Yeah, no, that makes sense. Kylin is um come,

did the same thing just the other day. She leaves the hotel lobby and she turns right, and I was like, Kylin, we've turned We've left the lobby like seven times and we've turned left every single time. Why would you turn right? I don't know. Okay, well we're going left again for the eighth time. Um, I don't know. Yeah, So so I agree with what you're saying. It's it's a lot and Um, every day with Kalin is on charted territory

for me. Because my longest relationship before Klin was a year and it was like tumultuous on an offer a kind of thing. So, um, I'm learning as I go here with the relationship, and fortunately and unfortunately at the same time, like a lot of that has aired publicly, and I put my foot in my mouth every step

of the way. But like I said, like like when it came to um Calin, because Calin just mentioned too how she didn't love how I was mentioning talking about the ring and stuff like that, and I'm not like, I'm not like lying about anything. I'm not making anything up. And so I feel like since I'm being honest about it, I'm able to talk about it. Sure the like discretion could be a little bit better sometimes and and I'm sarcastic, but I'm not like, I'm not like lying about things,

and so um, I'm just learning as I go. I guess that's kind of what it is. And the same to you. I mean, you've never been married, you've never been a father before, so every day you're learning something new and all that kind of stuff. It's just it's a it's a it's a tough world out there, you know. Can I ask a quick random question, what is the battery life of your computer? Right now? Oh? How did

you know? She just brought the catrge over. My point being is that this is a great example of what a relationship is all about, because so many times throughout this podcast, Dean either one his computer phone dies midway through the podcast because he's like, up, it died, I forgot to charge it. Or two we have to stop a conversation midway because he's like, I'm at one percent,

I'm about to die. And then here we are. Kaylin is here and she's she sees the battery left going low, and she realizes, let me not interrupt and let me just go quietly grab a charger. And so you can see how like little things like that make a wonderful relationship. For the record, the computer battery would have lasted until the end of this episode, and the only reason I know that is because the episode is now over. Um, Jared, thanks for letting us have an open form discussion with

you about this. We really appreciate it, Caylin, appreciate it. Don't thank me. Thank Oh my god, you guys are the one who did amazingly. Uh. If that's a word I think it is, Uh, thank you for being so open and honest. And let me say one thing before we wrap and then you guys can finish up. Uh. I just want to say that I think that it's

very romantic what you guys do, Kaylin. I understand that it could be super annoying, and I get it when all these people are saying things about your relationship that you know and are true. Um, but I think I agree with Dean where he says that it's important to have these conversations openly publicly, because I think what you

guys are doing is very romantic. Because I know friends who don't talk about these things and struggle in their relationship because we always say, like, what's the most part of part of you know, port and part of a relationship? Communication? Communication, communication, And it's like that word just keeps being repeated over and over and over again, like communication. You're like, Okay, what does that mean? Communication? Like just saying hi to

each other? But this is what it's about. That's this is the communication that we talk about that is very important within the relationship, being open and honest and working through things. UM. So thank you for doing that. Thank you for doing it publicly because I think a lot of people will enjoy this and I want to truck sue me. Oh my god. Anyways, Yeah, that's that's gonna do it for this week's episode. But we do have

another special episode coming up on Thursday on four. Fortunately, the Lovely Kalin will not be co hosting that with us. It'll just be us two low LIFs and Tommy Lee and them Stink of Itch are going to be on Thursday's episode. It's super interesting. You're gonna want to check it out, so be sure to tune in for that. Jared, thank you again for everything, Kalin. Do you want to

say anything any party words? Um? No, thanks for having me and thanks for letting me get what I needed off my chest to Hopefully hopefully Jean doesn't put his foot in his mouth again, I will, He'll be fine. Any final thoughts, like before anything else you want to get off your chest before we go, Well, I mean the main thing I just wanted people to know, like there are no red flags and you know, read click the link. I know, maybe I don't agree with that.

Listen to the podcast. Actually, don't click the link, don't read the headline, just listen to the podcast because Dean is amazing and loving and it's a great podcast, So do yourself. And I do have some red flags, Like there's I don't think we should deny that I'm not a perfect person or a perfect partner by any means, but I'm not as bad as I made out to be sometimes in my opinion, I I don't think there's red flags. I think there's things that we could always,

like everyone could work on. But I don't think there's red flags where I'm like, if I marry him, like this is like a huge red flag, But you've got red flags, you do, no, But I think of red flags is I don't know. I think of them as like sketchy guys. Yes, something that would prevent you from wanting to get married to them, which you don't see with Dean, right, I think, do you see with Calin? Well that's I don't think. We don't have time to get into that right now. And there's the next I'm

just kidding. I'm just kidding. So that's good. You got everything off your chest. Yeah, that's it. You have more. We would love to hear more you have any more time? No, that's it. Is there anything that you didn't get to talk about that you wanted to talk about. Okay, can we can we tease your Okay? Um, well yeah, that's

gonna do it. Uh be sure to tune into Killin's YouTube, follow on its Graham and uh do all the things that people do, and tune in next week on help I Suck at Dating, or maybe we suck a little bit less. Follow Help I Suck At Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast