Caelynn in the Hot Seat

to that episode. But what Jared and I did is we've kind of pulled a switcher ru of hosts of sorts. So Jared had his wife Ashley co host with him last week and this week for the first time in Help I Suck At Dating History, I have my wonderful girlfriend Kalin co hosting with me. Not an interview. She's not gonna just be answering questions, putting on her best face, putting her best foot forward. She's literally going to be co hosting this week's episode with yours truly, Kalen. If

you would not mind saying saying hi to everyone. Hello, everyone, I'm super excited to be co hosting. I didn't know I was doing this up until well like a day ago. Yeah, yeah, a little bit of a back story. So I guess honesty is really what we value most here on Help.

I suck at dating. The reason that they hosted last week's episode is because one of my very good friends, one of my best friends, just turned thirty on that Friday of last week, which we typically record on, and he is an obsessive golfer, and so what we did was for his thirtieth week, surprised him with a round of golf at his favorite golf course very far away from our our our apartments in Los Angeles, and I over extended myself, as I often do, and I was

not able to make our recording time for that, And so our consolation was having Jared Nashally host last week's episode. And my, uh my way of remedying the situation, I guess you could say, is having k Ellen so graciously co host this week with me, because our our fans of Help by succredating I've been with us for a long time. If you haven't been with us for a long time, welcome and thank you for joining us now.

But it's it's not often that I am so willing to have Kalen on our podcast, and if you listen to two weeks ago when we had Kalen interviewed by Jared, you kind of get a little bit understanding as to why I'm so hesitant. Uh, we just kind of like to keep our our relationship somewhat private. We like to share the things we want to share. We don't like to be consistently like out in the media, which is just such a silly thing to say. It's like, if we wanted to be in the media, would we even

be allowed to be in the media. I don't know. But the point is we just kind of stay. Yeah, we stay away from that, but we're not protecting it anymore. In fact, we are throwing our relationship into the wolves, into the fryer, and we are now co hosting podcasts together. We go from an interview we took a week off, and now we're co hosting it together. This relationship is progressing far too quickly for the likes of anyone involved. Um, it's been a year and a half. Yes, it's been

a year and a half. And it's funny because when I told Kaylin just I literally think I just told her just yesterday. I said Hey, by the way, you're gonna have to co host my podcast with me tomorrow.

And she was obviously like, yes, it's perfectly fine. And then she came to me like twenty minutes later and she goes, Hey, since I'm co hosting your podcast with you tomorrow, you're going to have to be on my YouTube video and answer a Q and A with me, because so many people ask me to host a Q and A involving you, and typically what I would say is no, not into it. Keep me out of your YouTube videos as I keep you out of my my podcast.

But we're turning over new leaves. I think we're just we're scraping the bottom of the barrel for content here, and uh we're utilizing our last resorts, which is each other. So uh try try as we will, try as we might, we will uh stay as relevant as we possibly can. We've got a great episode for you guys today, Kaitlin, tell them what kind of episode we have in store for them. You probably don't know because you're not on the emails that I received. We got a great episode.

It's gonna be Uh. Becky, Mark Easton are all part of it. Jared is taking the week off, as we kind of alluded to earlier. Um, we've got some questions that some of our listeners have submitted, Thank you very much. What else do we have? We have some great headlines, some topical headlines we want to talk about. We want to talk a little bit about maywage and what brings us here together. Uh, so you're not gonna want to

miss any of that stuff. But before we jump into I guess any of that, I want to bring Becky in if she's if she's out there somewhere, Um, and maybe we can just have a little convo about one of the things that our listeners out there are interested in hearing about. Becky, what do you think? Yeah, we have a long list of questions for you guys, and some headlines that we can go through well. And before and I'm sorry to interrupt you, as I always go

off on these tangential thoughts. Uh, I do want to say, as we've talked about in this podcast before, Becky had brought into Mario from I think it was Ohio or was it Michigan, Michigan, somewhere in the Midwest. I was close, uh, and Caitlin and I really wanted to go on a double date with you guys, as we had talked about, but unfortunately it wasn't the case. But uh, maybe one of these days you can get to Mario onto the podcast and we can all virtually double date. Definitely, Um,

I would love that and I'm sure he would as well. Anyways, what do you want to talk about? Becky? Um? So can I share something? Becky? Will you go ahead and just uh we just we just would just mute your computer real quick, so there's no audio coming out of it, So I want to and just give me a thumbs up if I'm allowed to share this, that's okay, right, yes, okay, cool. I'm just gonna go ahead and say this real quick.

Becky messaged the group privately and said her dad is sitting next to her and does not know that her and to Mario have gone on a date. Uh. And so to Becky's father, if you're listening to this, I apologize, And to anyone that might be speaking about future relationships, maybe pull the foot out of your mouth and just kind of keep it to yourself until after the fact. Anyways, I'm sorry, Becky. Back to you, sweet, and then back to you guys. Um. Okay, let's get rolling. Uh, first,

what is your biggest turn off about each other? Does? Oh? Easy? Um? My biggest pet peeve in the whole world. I don't know why, but when people chew with their mouth open, it suggars this rage inside of me. So Dean likes to chomp, and then she with his mouth closed, and so I'm like, I can hear your chewing from the other room, and he He's like, you can't even hear me. You're in the other room. He's crazy. We literally in

opposite rooms of each other. And I'm like eating chips in the living room and she like yells across stop chewing. And I, in my opinion, in my experience, I'm pretty like, uh polite when it comes to chewing. I keep my mouth closed, but my like initial first two bites are pretty I guess, pretty aggressive. Um. But that's Is that a turn off or is that a pet peeve? Pete? So what's a turn off? That was a question? Okay,

turn off would be sometimes it's just a little smelly. Yeah, that's not a turn off though, just like that one day that you got really smelly. You want to know what's Yeah, I'm not denying that I get a little smelly. I've played golf today with Wells and on like the sixth hole. He like, we're like sharing a golf cart together and we're driving to our balls that we had just hit, and he looks at me and he goes, hey,

when was the last time you bathed yourself? It's been about I would say, like five days since my last shower. Which it's funny because I played golf with the Wells five days ago and I told him that I should The day that I played with him last was the last time that I showered. I get it, Yes, I know it's I'm a busy guy, Okay, I don't have time for things like showers or soap whatever. Um, what is my biggest I'm a busy guy, you guys, I've got a lot of I got a lot of things.

I've got a lot of the business ventures I'm working on a lot of Yeah, anyways, my biggest turn off? Um? What is? What? Do you think my biggest turn off is? I'm perfect? Nothing? What is my biggest turn off? Um? Do you have any I'm a little cleany? Yeah yeah, maybe maybe clinginess, I guess would say, but I kind of like like the clingness a little bit. It's like kind of cute. I would say, my biggest turn off is oh, um, oh, I know what it is. I didn't know exactly what it is, and you should know

what it is too. My biggest turn off is lip gloss or chapstick. I freaking hate chapstick. And whenever Calin puts chapstick on to like to moisturess your dry lips and she like leans in for a kiss, I say, get the heck away from me and keep your oily lips off of mine. So that's my biggest thing. Like, whenever she does that, that's the thing where I'm like, absolutely not stay away from me. I don't know why I hate. I hate oily lips, I hate oily skin. It just that's my turn off. Wait, can I ask

one question really quick? If chapstick is a turn off than our dry chapped lips a turn on? Uh? I don't think it's one extreme to the next. It's it's kind of more of just like a happy media like

happy middle ground. Uh. There have been times where like, for instance, the first thing that comes to mind is last year, I did this big climbing trip with my buddy and we like ran out of water for the last half of it, and so my lips were super trapped, and I remember like kissing her and I was like, well, this sucks just as much as kissing you with chapstick on. So I'm gonna say no, it's exsolutely the case. It's just like, there's got to be a happy medium somewhere,

you know. Wow. Yeah. I also love the dynamic of when you asked a couple what's the biggest turn off is about E show? But you asked a woman, she's like, oh, where do I begin? But you asked the guy. He's like, well, honey, what do you think it is? Because what am I allowed to say here? What would be acceptable for me to say? And he's just linch loss, which is nothing about her as a person. Well, she's got a laundry list. No, it's on a laundry list. And by the way, you'd

be the same with me and my wife. Yeah. I thought you were going to say what when I say what after you say something? Oh yeah, okay, that's also another good one. Um, well, it's this is more of a pet peeve though than a turn off. But I guess it's I think that we can all be turned on and off to people of you know whoever. It is so whenever I say something and again, I speak quickly, sometimes I mumble. Sometimes I'm not saying that I'm completely

absolved absolved the fault here. But whenever someone like clearly understands what you say and they still say what, Oh God, it drives me absolutely bonkers. I lose my mind. And and what I've started doing, especially in old ages, I've I've stopped repeating myself and I've stopped reese telling them what I said, and I like, just pause for a good five to ten seconds, and I would say nine times out of ten they end up answering the thing that I said anyways, because it just takes them a

little bit longer too. And I think I've actually talked about this on the podcast before, but it just takes them a little bit longer to piece together in their head what I said that they were asking what I said, and they were just like trying to stall for time. But I it's one of my biggest pet peeps of all time, if not my biggest. Okay, next question, do you think it's important to never go to bed angry? Yes? I do. I think we do a good job of

well he does a really good job. If I'm mad at him, he'll get me out of whatever funk I'm in. He's a little bit harder when he's angry to get out of it. Yeah. Well, I think that as an individuals, we require different things to get us out of our anger. She I would not to speak for her, but I'm going to anyway. She requires a little bit of extra attention and like some coofiness and some laughter, and I

just require some like solitude and quietness. And so with those two things considered, She like, I don't say I ever go to better angry because I don't really have to get angry except for when she asks me what after everything that I say, or when she was look loss and when she don't get me wrong. When she does those two things together, I go off the free.

I like, I gotta leave for weeks at a time. Um, But uh, I don't think that we ever really got a bit angry, because well, hey, I don't really think we ever really get angry at each other. Like there are super little things that we obviously get annoyed with each other about, but no, we don't really go to bit angry, So I don't think I don't think it's It hasn't applied to our relationships, so it's kind of hard for us to really make a definitive stance one

way or the other. So Ashley and Jured were asked this question as well, Um, does a significant other's number matter to you? And numbers and how many people have they've slept with? Yeah, you wanna what's funny is I saw this on the help I Suck, a dating Instagram page and I saw them answer that question on video, and I was like, Oh, that's an interesting question to talk about, and I honestly don't think it's something that

Caitlin and I have ever discussed. Yeah, for me, I don't like to think about his past relationships or anything prior to our relationship. So it's like that was before me. I don't care, I don't need to know kind of thing. Yeah, that's a that's a thankfully for me. That's the way

that she looks at it. Uh. I agree. I think that anything that happens before the significant other was in the picture, it's kind of like moot and irrelevant, and it's like, yeah, you can spend time thinking about it and dwelling on it, but you're just gonna make yourself angry for literally no reason at all, because it's like, what are you supposed to do about someone doing things

before they ever possibly knew you? And there's funny. It's funny too because uh, sometimes this is it doesn't happen really much anymore, but a long time ago and we first started dating, they were things where I was like disappointed about or like just like upset to hear, you know what I mean about like Caitlin's dating history. And I was like, well, dude, if you were to flip it around and put me in the same position that I'm putting her in, I would look twenty times worse.

So like I'm not gonna sit here and be a hypocrite and like be upset about something that she might or might not have done while I have done the same thing, if not worse, ten times over, you know what I mean. So it's like, I don't think that you should ever really hold your significant other accountable for the things that they did before they knew the person

that they're dating. And I think that kind of that's kind of like a unanimous across the board, Like very few exceptions I think could really apply to that situation. What did what back you had a question or out of curiosity? What did Ashley and Jared say to that? I think they said no, I think it doesn't matter. They actually said that she wanted to know like a ball park. Um. And then she brought up how one of her friends said that Jared's number was different than

what Jared shared. Oh no, yes, so that into a whole conversation as well. Yeah, but the next question, Um, is cheating a deal breaker? And do you believe once a cheater always a cheater? Um? Yes, cheating as a deal breaker, But no, I think people can cheat, impass relationships and learn from that and then not be a cheater.

Then we've talked about this, Yeah, I mean I've I could freaking hope that once a cheater, always a cheater can't be true, because if that were the case, then I guess I would be able to cheat her for the rest of my life, which I don't personally think that I am uh personally from personal experience, obviously, it's all we can all draw from. It's no secret that

I've admitted to having cheated on ex girlfriends. I think the worst thing for someone that's uh that's been an idiot like I have is to like try to lie about it or pretend like it never happened. Because if you do that, that's proof that you're not learning from those mistakes and growing from those mistakes. Uh. And if that's the case, then I think that you're destined to cheat again. Uh. And that took me a long time

to figure out too. I would say, up until I was like twenty six or twenty seven, I was like, so I would deny the fact that I ever, like cheated on a girlfriend ever. Uh. And then once I was able to like kind of admit that and be honest, not only with other people but also with myself. Uh, that kind of helped me grow as not only just an individual, but also as a partner. And it's funny too, because even just the other day, I like sometimes have

these like I'm sorry language so these stupid dreams. And this other day, like I had a dream and I was like I woke up and Caitlin and I were sitting in the kitchen drinking here coffee and eating cereal or whatever. I was like, Calin, like I have to

tell you something. I had a dream last night that it cheated on you, and she goes like so upset, like you cheated on me your dream last night, and I it will not because it was more like a like it was more like inquisitive, like, oh, you cheated on your dream last night, And I was like, well, no, I didn't cheat on you in my dream. I was living my life as I normally would. But in my dream I had cheated on you in the past and

I didn't experience it in the dream. But like I it was like this weird situation and she was like, well, well you didn't cheat. It's just like weird. But but the point is I know that like it might have actually caused more damage than not had I shared it. But um, I think just being open and honest about that type of stuff is the most important thing. So once a cheater, I was a cheater in my opinion, isn't the case. But cheating also, in my opinion, is

a deal breaker. Like if I think are either of us were to cheat on each other, I don't think either of us would really consider giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, right, yeah, yeah, even or not cheat on me either, I don't. Yeah, I don't know.

It's so funny too, because as I've gotten older, I'm twenty nine now, it's like my priorities have shifted so greatly, like back when I I've cheated on two girlfriends in my life, and I think it's because back when I did those, I think it was nineteen the first time, in twenty three the second time, And like my my interest in my priorities when I was nineteen and twenty three where basically just like party and get drunk and

hang out with friends. And when those are your interests and priorities, it's like, well, obviously you're gonna make stupid mistakes because it's like you're living a freaking hollow life and you're not like getting any any value out of those things. And so um, as a twenty nine year old that I am now, I think that my my priorities have changed to involve those things quite a bit less and that just may becomes the time experience, But

I don't know, I could be wrong. What do you think about the argument that men and women cheat for different reasons, and that if men's cheet they're just giving into their base instincts, and if women cheat, it's because they're not getting what they need out of the relationships. So if Dan worded sheet, well he's just scumbag who gave in. But if Kalin sheets because she needs something from Dean that she's not getting, I know that means that either way it's the guy's fault. But I think

also women cheat for different reasons than men do. I think that is fair to say. I mean, my first thing to my first response to that is you have to still it's an unfortunate double standard that men are kind of like, it's a lose lose for us. Either we're either the dogs that wanted to do something with someone else or were the person that wasn't giving our partner what they needed to and so because of that, they kind of have a pass to do something else. Um,

what do you think? I agree? I mean it, yeah, it is kind of unfortunate, but that is usually how it is, right, Like, a woman doesn't cheat typically. I'm not saying, I don't know, but it's kind of sexy. I just think I agree. Uh, yeah, I don't know, I don't what do you think women are more monogamous by nature? Yeah, and we like the idea of love and we like to be in love and if our partners not giving us that, then I could see someone cheating.

I guess, I don't know, what do you think, Mark, I think that there are women who cheat for the same base reasons as a man would cheat. I guess it's so a circumstantial but I think in general, if there is infidelity in a relationship, it's usually goes back to the guy. I would say, if we were to go back in history and calculate the cause of infidelity, I mean, it's hard to argue that it would probably be like in favor of the men that were the reason for it, right, I would agree with that, But

I I think that times were changing. You know, evolution is a slow process. Uh. And I want to say that there has been a moment in my life where I've been cheated on, But again it's it's it's kind of looking through it in rose cloded classes where it's like, yeah, I think that I was giving everything that I could have been giving to the partner, but maybe that they thought that you need something else and they went out

and found it with another guy. I don't know. I just think that there are so many variables that can come kind of come into play on that case. But I do agree that there are like men have these uh uh sexual urges that are just I guess maybe easier to act on and uh when a woman it just it's it's like almost harder to you and like say that a woman cheats on a man because I guess maybe that's why, because it's like you just don't really think about it or hear about it quite as often.

Something my wife has said to me a number of times was she's like, if I found out you had sex with somebody else but you didn't like it was just sex, I wouldn't care. But if I found out you were, like you have like a deep emotional connection with somebody and there was no sex, like, that would be like devastating to me. And it's yeah, I've always thought like this sounds like a trap. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like it's the character from Star Wars. It's a trap.

It's so funny too, because one of my really good friends, who's a girl, has been in a relationship for a long time as well, and she had she said the same thing to her boyfriend of like nine years. She was like, well, if you want to go out and hook up with girls, um purely on like a sexual basis, that's fine, But like if you're like texting them and talking to them on a regular basis, like investing in

them emotionally, then that's not okay. And I heard that story too, and it's like, I think in our heads were so ingrained to think that like any type of cheating, whether it's physical or emotional, is uh not cool whatsoever. I just think it really boils down to, uh, what the partner says is okay and what they're comfortable with, because it's like everyone's different. Obviously, every relationship is different.

I just think that monogamy is obviously such a staple of every solid relationship, but that's not the only right way to have a relationship whatsoever. I think there's a million different ways too. So, uh, that's really interesting that

your wife said that, Easton. I mean, listen, I kind of agree with her, to be honest, but it's it's like one of those things where it's like you're almost too scared to act on it because and nor nor would you ever, Nor would you I'm not saying that you would ever, But I think she said it because she has confidence that that she's the only woman on the plane that would willingly have sex with me. So she's like, what did you post on your what did

you post on your Instagram stories today? Because, uh, you look like someone or something like that, and she texted, she texted you and said you've never been more attractive or something like that. Uh. Tori Spelling from nine o two, I know, told me that I looked cute, and she posted it and said she felt proud of me. Honestly, very impressive. It was a big moment for me. So, I mean, let's be honest, she might not be as safe as she thinks she is. If Tori Spelling is

calling you a cute, I don't know. I mean she also said I was quite handsome, so to watch out. Did she see your your head to tell where you wearing crocks at the time or no, you know, actually she just saw this exact frame. She said, you said you've done something with your beard, and she was happy about my haircut. Yeah you shaved well, you shaved it off. You've got the sexy five o'clock shadow. Now yeah, I mean, hey, I think it's sexy, but thank you. There's two doesn't

care the same way. It as tory spelling, but still um. Okay, So if you two were on dating apps, um, what would be your pickuplind for messages someone? Hm? Oh, I don't know. You go first. You go first, like you're opening a line thank you. This is like the icebreaker line. Yep, Like you see someone, you swipe right, they match you, and you're like ready to slide in. What's that first visage? Okay? If I saw Dean on a dating app, no, not me,

just like another guy, where was it? If it is it we saw each other, it could be whatever, sure you saw me? So if I saw you on a dating app, and I kind of did this on Instagram, I would see his travels and his cool lifestyle, and so I would kind of like slide in there and relate it back to me somehow, which is what I did on Instagram. I was like, Oh, you're traveling to Japan, Singapore, Thailand. That's literally lead the trip I just did. And that

was like my segue into deeming him. Yeah, and it didn't work because obviously I blew her off coffee the first couple of times. Um. I think my uh, it's funny because it's like it actually perfectly applies. Is if I were in a dating app, I would a never send the first message because jets as an individual that used to be on dating apps that was always like kind of like my thing. I just would never I would never send the first message because I was a boy,

uh and I would probably be pretty flaky. I would be hard to meet up with me, but like we could carry on conversations for a while. Dating apps are hard because it's like, uh, back when I was on dating apps a long long time ago, I was like as much fun as I had on the dating apps, it was like very difficult for me to like become interested enough in someone that I met on a dating app to like progress the conversation to move from the app to texting to meeting up for a day and

then carrying it on from there. So there's like so many great filters that were along the way that uh, they were kind of more of just like like a time killer, you know what I mean, Like your board, You're sitting on the toilet and you're just like trying to kill some time and Fantasy football is not going on, and so I would just like jump on bumble. So uh yeah, not the not not maybe not the best practice. But so you wouldn't have a pickup line. You just

no pickup lines. I think that I would maybe, like once or twice I would drop some like stupid cheesy dad jokes, but nothing, nothing substantial. This listener asked, if a guy goes you after four dates but then comes back three months later, is he actually interested. No, definitely not go for it. I mean, especially if it's now and it's COVID He's like, oh shoot, I'm coming back

because I'm bored. But yeah, if he goes did you after four dates, he clearly wasn't interested and now he's coming back just because of boredom, I would say, um, yeah, I would say that's very very true. I Uh. It's like, look, if someone wants you in their life, they're going to make time for you. And obviously this person didn't make time for you for three months and something changed drastically.

It's not like he's like it's not like there was like some unspoken bond that like drew him back to you. It was he probably finished whatever he was doing that kind of kept him from me in the first place, and it was like going back and retracing his steps and seeing what like low hanging fruit he has available to him. Uh, And so I would not put any stock whatsoever into that because it sounds troublesome, to say the least. Okay, trying to spice it up. Yeah, spice

it up for us. Back, where's the most wild place you've had sex? WHOA, that's too much spice? Is your dad's going the room? That is too much spice. Let's talk more about the Mario back to yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna plead the fifth I think on the wildest place we've had sex with each other. I would think I would rather um us talk about the wildest place we've had sex then the wildest place either of us

had sex with someone else. So we're gonna go ahead, and if we plead the fifth on the first one, we're gonna plead theft on the second one. Is that is that a fair answer? Well? So much? First up, we can assume that you've done it in a car, right or a van? Uh? Well, I mean listen, okay, Well, we're gonna slowly creep ourselves into this conversation. I mean we're boiling the frog here, you know, for hey, for all we know, and for all we want you guys to know her and I have never Caitlin and I

have never even had sex. So we're gonna go ahead and keep that uh fifth pleading, uh turn all the way up. So yeah, sorry, next question, Sorry, Becky, what else you got for us? Okay? Um, is it a red flag if someone says they love you after week two? Well, let's go ahead and ask me that question, because shut up a week one and a half. What do you think, um, kind of yeah, I mean after two weeks. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of like, yeah, okay. So Dean we talked about this like a couple of weeks ago.

He was like, when you know you love me, just wait a couple months just to make sure. And so I didn't tell them until like six months in eight months, in yeah, I think you should wait. I think there's no reason to rush. That's like saying that. I think I think two weeks is way too premature, especially in

today's day and night. It's it's it's it's such an always so interesting to answer these questions because I guarantee, like Marker Reason are going to come back and be like, well, I told my wife I loved her after the first date, and we've been married for nineteen years. So yes, So

obviously this all goes with the grain of salt. Uh. In my opinion and in my experience, whenever I have felt those feelings and then expressed those feelings early on, within two weeks to four weeks to eight weeks, whatever is, I didn't know what the heck I was saying. I was. I was basically speaking based purely on like the situation and like the environment. And then when I removed myself from that environment, I realized how like stupid I was. And so I think it's like a very impulsive thing

to say. I think it's a very like emotional thing to say, obviously, But I think two weeks is far too soon, because it's like, what the heck are you supposed to know about someone in two weeks? You don't really know anyone in two weeks, right, What do you guys think? Mark Easton? How long did it take you guys to say you love your wives? I would say a couple of months. And I think if you steal that in the first two weeks, I think it's fine.

Your emotions aren't wrong, but I think you want to give it a little bit a little bit, just because you're either going to scare them away or you're going to regret it because maybe you were feeling what you thought you were feeling. Okay, it's fair Eastern. I mean, yeah, I think mine was like six months. I don't I don't remember. But but you guys had more of an interesting genesis because you guys were friends for a long time,

very long time. Yes, and when when we said it, it was very casual and it was just like like we didn't realize we even said it. It It was just like because almost by accident. But but I also think that if you wait, if like you hit month three and then you just say it, I think it would feel very insincere that like you were waiting for a specific like a very specific date, like I'm waiting for this much time to pass to say it. So it's

all about how Yeah, that's very fair. I think I've been pressured in the past two uh say that because I felt like it was the right time to say and then looking back later on, I like regretted saying it, just because I felt like this was like this is like a testament to the time that we spent together. But in reality, it wasn't it was. It was more of like a time allotment rather than a feeling, and

I regretted it later on. Um becky, question for you, and you can just say yes or no to this is have have have you ever said that to anyone that you've been dating in recent time? No? Okay, cool? Next question, I have updates next time for you and think when your father is not sitting right next to you. Um, Dean, you've been playing, uh tennis? Do you think that's a good first date? During COVID have you guys done that together? Well,

for the record, I have not been playing tennis. I have played tennis, but Kaylin is the tennis player in the relationship. The reason I've played tennis is because of her. H. I think it's a great first date. I think especially during the COVID era that we're in now, it's like, you guys, are you know what forty I don't know. How about the tennis court is? You know, I would

say forty feed apart from each other? Uh, you gotta like you're still like within conversation distance, like you're not yelling, you can still talk. You get to see like, uh, this is gonna sound kind of weird, but you kind of get to see how the other person sweats, which which is a weird thing to say, but it's like a kind of dictates a lot about how they're going to be as a person. You gotta see how competitive they are and like how angry they get when they

lose or when or whatever it is. So I think it's a great first day. It's nothing, It's something that I never would have really considered being a first day up until Kaitlin and I had just started playing. But I think it be pretty It's a pretty smart, safe first date to take. What do you think? Yeah, it's pretty fun. Um, I go almost every day and my

friend Tory and I that I go with. She we actually watched someone go on their first date like two days ago and then it ended up like they weren't into each other, but they're both real estate agents, so they were able to connect job wise. Um, but it was interesting to kind of watch their dynamic and see how it went. But I think it'd be a good date.

I think, um, well, it's funny too. It's because she's been playing a lot of tennis and I've been playing a lot of golf, and we've just kind of turned it like this stupid little country club couple as of late. Uh yeah, tennis, golf, anything that kind of like gets you out, gets you active. I think it is always a good first date. But yeah, tennis, especially because, like we said, it's like COVID safe, it's very easy to access.

All you need is a racket and tennis ball and basically all the tennis courts are free, so it's like why not. Yeah, hey, then this one is for you. Um, last time we had you on, you said Connor didn't really have a chance with you. Um, can you elaborate? Yes? Um. Dean and I like we had a very strong connection we had. There was like so much passion we could connect and Um he left and I was like I was waiting for Connor to come down, but it wasn't

what I expected it to be. And also the relationship Dina and I had wasn't what I expected it to be. I thought it was gonna be fun and casual and then we actually had something. Um. So of course when Deane came down, I was like, I'm going to pick the guy in the relationship that I really think that there's a future here. Even though it was like terrifying and scary, and I was like, he could dumped me in two days and realize, like this isn't right, But

I just it just made more sense. And I just want to say something real quick, and I'm probably gonna get trouble and trouble for this, But one of the reasons that Calin was so interested in Connor is because a friend of hers told her how great they would be as a couple and how excited they would be to go on double dates with them, right, And so like you get this thing and grained your head where it's like, oh, one of your good friends is dating a guy who has vouched for this guy who he's

never met, but he thinks he's a good guy. And I'm not saying that he's Connor is not a good guy, because I think he absolutely is. But I think that one of the reasons that you got so excited to meet Honor And again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think one of the reasons you were so excited is because you let your friends build him up in your head. Haven't They didn't know him, They had like a perception of him, and then you kind of like in your head were like, Wow, this guy is great

based off of absolutely nothing. No, absolutely, And it was like them building it up for months and kept telling me, oh, the producers are like waiting to match you up, or the producers think you guys are gonna be so great, and I think you guys are gonna be so great, and it was like, you guys haven't met them. I haven't. I haven't met him, and yeah, it just wasn't. It was like built up to be this like fairy tale

romantic thing and it just wasn't that. It was that with Dean, which I wasn't expecting, especially since I jammed him and we tried that and yeah, and for the record, we both like Connor. I think that guy. It's just like he's not my person. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. But yeah she Connor never said a chance. I'm sorry, but like you remember, remember Christina, It's like, come on, you have you ever met Dean before? Obviously not if you think you still have a chance in this situation. Okay,

So we'll just go through a couple of headlines. Hannah Brown has announced that she's on a dating app and she wants someone that has their crap together. What does it mean to have their crap together. I would say to have over a million Instagram followers. Oh sorry, Oh, I mean she dated or was engaged to Jed. So yeah, someone who's not him, I think. Okay, here's my take

on having your crap together. I think anyone that's looking for someone to have their crap together, it's a prerequisite to set yourself up for failure because having your crap together is not a personality trait. It's not a reason for someone to like someone else. Like, if you like someone solely because they have their crap together, then your interests are so misaligned. It's like, she what she needs to find and again, I don't I know, I've met Hannah.

I don't know her very well. What she needs to find is just someone that she can enjoy living. Like, Hannah is gonna be fine whether she's by herself or whether she's with someone, She's gonna be fine. Obviously, she's got like this great star potential she is. She is, she's the former Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars champion, like all these things, Like, she doesn't necessarily need to find

someone with their crap together. She needs to find someone that she like enjoys spending her time with because that's what she's going to be doing for the next sixty years. So I think finding someone with their crap, I don't have my crap together. Minecrap is so minecrap is so far torn apart, like it's the worst crap ever. That's that's like the most dire, real piece of crap you

could ever possibly find. But like we still like maybe if you talk to Kalen two years ago, she probably would say she wants someone with the crap together, But it turns out it took someone that didn't have their crap together to really, like say, to to make the relationship work. So I I hate hearing that because it's not that's such a poor prerequisite to a relationship. No,

I agree. And when you're saying that, I was thinking, like what I was looking for to three years ago was like what you think of in the South, you know, the typical Southern relationship, which might be what she's still looking for. And then I found Dean and I was like, wait, I'm not meant for this like cookie cutter business like dating married to a business guy, and it's just so different. And I feel like when she says crap together. That's kind of what she means, is like kind of what

we from the South always thought we would have. Which And for the record, sidebar, I do have a business degree from an accredited four year university, so you know, there's always the fallback potential there. It's for me to get my crap together. But once the tube gets out of the toothpaste, it's a little bit harder to put to toothpaste gets out of two, it's a little hard

to get put back in. So I get where she's coming from leaving the bachelorette, because the bachelorette you deal with these guys and other jobs are former football player, logger, you know, stuff like this. And I think that she wants to me having their stuff together is having a job and having a place to live without roommates. That's how I would say it. Personally. I agree with you, Dean. Do you do not have your stuff together? And still you have found of someone and that's fantastic, But I

don't think you would fall up. But here I Mark, I appreciate you weighing in, and I'm going to retort it real quick. Uh, I don't think she wants someone with a job, because if I was dating someone with a job, I would agree. I'm different because I would actually like that because I would get forty to sixty

hours a week by myself. But I think I think if Kaylin was dating someone with the job, she wouldn't like it because we like spending time together because both of us have the freedom of not having to be in an office from nine in the morning to five

in the afternoon. I don't necessarily think Hannah would thrive. Again, not knowing much about her, I don't think she would thrive with someone that has like the nine to five, you know, business financial advisor type job sort of thing, because she, in my un informed opinion, she would want to be spending time with this person. She would want to have the ability to go places and do these things. But you can't do that with someone that quote unquote

has her together. I don't know, maybe, but I think we're also projecting our relationship and things that think everyone wants what we have, which I don't think everyone wants what we have. I mean, yes, we're definitely projecting here. But I guess my point is it's like I think that maybe she's saying that because she thinks that's what that's kind of like what you said. She thinks she said she thinks she needs to say that, so she's

saying it. But I wouldn't be surprised if we see Hannah in a relationship down the line with someone like more in like the Hollywood scene that's not singer. I could travel within. I could see her being with like like the star of a television show. Yeah, that's still together, I suppose, But I think I don't know what do Yeah? Yeah, podcast host? Uh yeah, blogger, sure why not? I don't know,

but um, but yeah, that's our take on it. I guess. Okay, So Derek Peth is thirty three and engaged to Saffron Vader, who is twenty three after one year of dating. What are your bo Derek is engaged to a girl named Saffron after a year of dating. Huh. I saw this the other day, and um, I don't really have any thoughts on it. Derek seems like a nice guy. He Uh, it's he obviously kind of jumped the gun before get engaged to Taylor pretty early on in their relationship that

obviously did not work out. Uh. You never want to say like someone's got a history of getting engaged prematurely. The age difference probably is a little like concerning to a lot of people, but like, who the heck knows Um. I think whenever you see like one of of whenever I see one of my peers from the show, especially get engaged with someone, like the first instinct is always like, oh, you're so happy for them, It's fantastic. You never like wish ill will upon anyone. And I think, I don't

think this case is any different. Like obviously I hope Derek and his fiancee Um are able to make it work, but it's just such a it's such an interesting time where it's like you see all these engagements, see all these relationships, they get publicized so quickly, they progress so quickly, and then they implode so quickly. And I don't think

that's going to happen with Derek. I hope it doesn't happen, but it's just like kind of unfortunate for everyone involved that like the expectation for it is to happen, and like if it doesn't happen, then everyone is like surprised, like pleasantly surprised. So I hope that we are all pleasantly surprised, and I hope that they make it the distance. I I still don't know. I'd have never met her. I haven't talked to Derek since Paradise. So that's that's

my ft overview of the whole situation. What do you think I mean? Yeah, when you said it's weird people dating in right now, it's kind of like The Bachelor, but for a much longer period of time where you're living with this person. You're stuck with this person where you wouldn't be normally because you're likely working from home and you've just got way more time. So maybe because

of that that's why. But also on the flip side of that, like, yes, there's a there's a pro side to that, like positive, but there's also a big negative side too. Let's say you start dating someone in February, like at the height, at the beginning of COVID lockdowns, etcetera. It's like the only the only, um uh, the only dimension that you know this person in is through like the lens of working from home for the past seven

months and spending all this time together. But when things like get back to normal and restore and like let's say Saffron has to choose an international model. Let's say she has to go to London for a shoot for two months, and they can't spend every waking moment together,

Like maybe things will start to deteriorate from there. I guess my point is is, yes, there are like many there's many positive takeaways from like this, uh this lockdown and this like shelter in place type stuff, but there's also a lot of uh cliffhangers and questions still to be answered, because it's like normalcy is going to be restored at some point, whether it's next year or the year after or whatever. And then when that happens, then what are you gonna do? Because they go back to

doing what they need to do survive. You go back to doing what you need to do survive, and that's very different than what you've been doing that's proven to

be successful, but will it be successful moving forward. It's kind of like um, quarantine puppies, like they don't know how to socialize, and not to compare relationships to that, but like you go back to normal and suddenly your dog doesn't know how to socialize, and then in relationships quarantine relationships, suddenly you're doing things and hanging out with your friend and you're not with the seven and there's a lot of codependency that has been developed and might

not be great. Codependency is huge, and I always try to pull away from the codependency. I hate codependency. I think it's one of the worst things you could ever possibly get into. Uh And and so in our situation, obviously, we've been fortunate in the sense that we started dating what middle of twenty nineteen, so we had I would say eight months of dating. Well, we had like six months of dating. I broke my leg and then we had two months and then COVID hits and then it's

been eight months from there, so whatever. So we've kind of us to have gone through a lot of things. Um, but I do think that there are still times where you and I, Kalen and I are like, Okay, we're gonna like not like pull back, but like we've spent too much time together. So I'm going to go away for a weekend. I'm going to do this for a week and then I'll see you when I get back

type of thing. And I think that's healthy because that's kind of more that's like more realistic as to what normal life is going to be like rather than just being cooped up like and in our situation too. And

I'm sorry all these tangential things. Um, if I was, let's say, the past eight months were taken as a sample for Dean Unglert's life, uh within you know, COVID and quarantine and all these things, I would look so so bad because all I've done for the past eight months is sit on my butt and play Call of Duty and play golf four times a week. And uh, in my opinion, that's not who I am in my

like vision of myself, that's not who I am. So I don't think that if I were to have started dating someone eight months ago while those were the only things that I've done, it wouldn't be an accurate representation of myself. Um. And so that's my one concern, that's my one hesitation to all of these quarantine relationships. But like I said, and like Caitlin said, we hope nothing but the best for our friend Derek Path. So anyways, that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help

I Suck at Dating? Um, we were so blessed today to have the wonderful and credible Kayla Miller Keys on the podcast as a co host. It's so funny to me because we we had Kylin as a co host today and I feel like all I did today was talk talk, talk and talk and talk and talks. That's how life is. You think you think I talk more than you do in this relationship. Okay, No, that's not the case. I don't know. Maybe I just feel like a responsibility to talk more because I don't want you

to feel like you have to. Ah, you're just doing such a good job. I don't want to interrupt. That's very kind of you. Anyways, that's it for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? UM. If you can't, I can't wait to get any more of Kalin. Be sure to check out her YouTube channel Kyla Miller Keys dot YouTube dot com, whatever it is, UM, and thank you to Jared for taking the week off. As always, she is slacking and I am just putting this show on my back and doing my absolute best to carry

us to the promised Land. Next week. We were talking to Caleb and Justine from Love Island. You're not gonna want to miss that interview because they are fantastic and they are seemingly still going strong, so tune in for that. We're gonna have Jared back. I'm going to be back as well. So we look forward to Senior next week, where maybe we will suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.