Brother to Mother

Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?

With Dean Aungler, Kaylen Miller Keys and Jared haven An iHeartRadio podcast.

What's going on? Everyone?

Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds?

And before we.

Get into today's topic, I just want to read a couple of things real quick. Bachelor's Dean Ungler suggests using brother sperm to impregnant fiance Dean Ungler, I would use my brother sperm.

To get Kaylin pregnant.

Deanunglert suggests using brother sperm to inciminate Kaylan. Bachelor in Paradise, Denanugler considers using brog sperm to in. The list goes on and on and on and on and on.

And you did this to yourself.

Of all of the headlines I've been responsible for generating, this one might be the most, like damaging to my life?

How is it damaging to your life? You admitted it on the podcast.

No, it was clearly a joke.

And that's what's so annoying about these very clearly joking. If you haven't listened, to go back and listen. This one is the worst because you see it and I said the link to my brothers, and I was like, just you guys know, I was obviously just freaking joking about this. No response. I think they hate me. I think my brothers have disowned me. So I'm really, you know, really upset with it's freaking it, and you know what you want to what I.

Think it is. I think it's our producers working overtime.

It's it's Danielle, it's Amy, it's them sending them soundbites being like, hey, you guys should write.

An article about this.

Well, I showed you at last week's episode.

If you read the little synopsis of what the episode is about, that kind of story headlines itself.

Yeah, I think Easton writes are like description for each episode and that guy is working overtime, so good for him, good for him, bad for me, I guess is the best way to put it. But anyways, welcome to this week's episode. Help we suck up being newlyweds. We've got the great Jared Haben with us. Of course, I'm joined by Kaylin Miller Keys, my brothers. I don't even know what to say future baby mama, Yeah, cuckold to my brother or something like that.

What doesn't matter it's a little it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It was all a joke.

My favorite headline is from Parade and it says, Dean Aunglert raises eyebrows with confession amid infertility fear. Yep, keeping his options open is the lead sentence on that one, Keeping.

My Options Open.

I think that was the best headline out of all of them.

Oh, easily raises a million million times before. It's it's impossible to convey like sarcasm and snark in an article.

And that's all I know. That's all.

It's like one hundred percent of the things that I say are sarcastic and snarky.

So that's why these writers love you. It's like a slow news day and they're like, oh, let's see what Dean said.

It's got to be extra slough.

It's great for the podcast, baby, it's great for you. It's great. Do they plug a podcast? Let me click on People right now. People is a friend. I love people. They covered our wedding. I'm sure they're probably doing something with your wedding as well. Don't give them any credit here, No, we like people.

It's US Weekly is.

The one wait US Weekly.

What they're the ones that always do like the most damaging headlines.

Yeah, but that's why I say I like people.

So people, Yeah, we like people.

We like people. Look at this first paragraph The Bachelor alum Denungler at thirty two in The Bachelor of Personality, Kaelin Miller Keys twenty seven open up about their fertility journey on their iHeartRadio podcast. No, it's not get being newlyweds previously help I suck at dating.

That's good. That threw them both in there. Why am I on a lum? But Kaitlyn's just a personality.

You know, when you've been on that many TV shows.

Yeah, okay, that's interesting.

Anyways, all that to say, no stranger to this experience, and I'm sure it'll happen time and time again.

I want to know when is your time going to come? Jared? I want you to say some damning stuff.

What can I say?

I'm what can you say?

Yeah?

Let me try to think of something. I mean, there's so much that if I was just totally cant about. Yeah, of course, there'd probably be us weekly articles written. But I also might get divorced. You know, Just what's the point of being?

What's the point of hosting a podcast, if you're not fully candid about everything, no.

Listen, I'm I'm down. It just depends on the candidness.

Also, Ashley is the most candid person in the history of baccination.

Because she's also the most innocent, Like she has nothing. Her worst thing is. I don't even know what her worst thing admitting is. Truthfully, I got nothing.

She just posted a video on her Instagram the other day about her changing a tampon exactly.

That's the most, honestly, probably the most riskiest thing she's ever done.

I don't know. You guys have done a lot of loube ads in the past.

Oh yeah, we're pro lube baby. Oh like you guys aren't get the hell out of here.

I mean, we've done the We've done the lube ads on this podcast as well.

Don't get me wrong, not not a.

Fan, but I had to give you lube for a Christmas gift because of this podcast. I had a stocking that said Dean as I slipped a bottle of lube in there.

Oh man, we're gonna lose listeners on this lube.

Just talk about that. Talk about getting me clue. Maybe the maybe the headlines will run with that.

Yeah, co host.

Jared lubes up co host.

Now that's a headline. That should be the name of this podcast.

Next this this Christmas, you can get my brother some lube.

It talks.

This has gone too far, This has gone too far? Jared? What's going on? Man? How are you? We got a great episode for you guys today.

And when I say great, I just me and it's just us three. It's just shooting talking, shooting. What's going on? A thank you to you for rescheduling the podcast. We had to do an emergency rescheduling because we're in Japan and the time difference is quite quite severe.

I knew it would be as soon as I found out that you guys were on the flight, Like, there's no way, it's probably like two am Japan time.

And of course it was two am. It's currently six am in Japan. So but it's five pm and what is it five pm?

And yeah it's five yeah, five pm. Wow, so we're almost twenty four No, it's about twelve hours difference. But yeah, it's five pm. So the sun is setting as the sun is rising for you guys. But I didn't even know that you were going to Japan. Is this an impromptu vacation.

Yeah, I so this is what happened. So two years ago, the year is twenty twenty one. It was June summer twenty twenty one. Was it three years ago?

Where was it twenty twenty?

It could have been twenty twenty, very easily could have been twenty twenty. The world was shut down. It was definitely twenty twenty. The world was shut down to the greatest extent we had seen it. And I was like, so running like on fumes on want to get kilin for her birthday?

And I was like, I got an idea.

She's always wanted to go to Japan, So I'll print out these fake airline tickets that go from LA to Japan and give them to her for her birthday present. And then I was like, oh, you know, whenever we're able to actually go to Japan, she'll probably have forgotten all about this, So I wanted to take her anyways.

And then.

I was just thinking randomly, like a couple of weeks ago, we were going to go to Hawaii, and then I was like, well, why don't I just try to plan as a trip to Japan before going to Hawaii? And then surprise Kaylin and just told her we're going to Hawaii for two weeks, but in reality, we're going to Japan for one week and then Hawaii for the second week. So that's kind of where it all came from.

I want to share from my perspective, okay, because you texted me like two months ago and you're like, do you want to go to Japan in April?

And I was like, yeah, for sure.

I don't think that's right, I can pull up.

Actually I screenshotted it, okay, because I was so excited. So two months ago, Deane was like, let's go to Japan in April. I was like, hey, let's do it. You had airline credits you had to use before Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, before May first or something.

Well, Dean's story was really cinematic but so false.

No, no, it's it. He's being truthful.

So then he was like, never mind, forget about Japan, forget about it, just totally forget about it. But he was adamant about me forgetting about it, which made me be a little suspicious.

It's funny I made you forget about it so well that I forgot about it.

That's oppressive.

And so then I was thinking, like, dang, I'm really sad that we're not going to Japan. And then I kept thinking about it, and Dean, when he booked our flights to Hawaii, asked for my passport number. So I was like, wait, one second, maybe we are going to Japan.

And I told him.

I was like, if we're going, I need to know because my outfits for Hawaii are very different from my outfits from Japan. So I packed just in case as if we were going to Japan, just in case.

But she secretly knew the whole time.

And then can we tell him a story about how he missed her flight? Okay, so we missed our flight to Japan. And I know what you're thinking your listeners at home in your car on your way to work. You're probably like, oh, Dean, is the reason they missed the flight to Japan?

Wrong?

False? It was one hundred percent Cao.

Okay, I would take seventy percent of the.

Place, so low, it's at least eighty five percent in Kalin.

I'll take eighty five eighty eighty three. All right, let's stell them what happened.

Yeah, so in order to get to Japan, now you need to be fully vaccinated or a negative COVID test, and we're both fully vaccinated and boosted.

But when we got our booster, we both we have to.

Be fully vaxed and boosted. You skipped that part.

Well, fully vaxxed is with the booster. That's what I'm saying.

We got you.

Yeah, so you need fully fully vaccinated or negative COVID test.

And we both got our booster.

And they gave us just like a paper documentation and Kaylen lost hers, which is surprising because Kaylen never loses anything, even engagement rings. And by the time we realized we had to submit that document to the airline to get checked in, it was already like within the twelve hour window. So I was like, Kaylen, you have to get a negative COVID test. And the COVID test she got wasn't

So first we flew from Vegas to la and Dean took my luggage.

I sprinted off the plane.

Ran through Lax, ran all the way to like where the hotels are at Lax, sprinted my COVID test within like ten minutes of landing, and then we got the results back.

And then well no, And then I go to the gate at American Airlines to check us in. I'm already checked in, but I couldn't check us in as a group because Kaylyn didn't have all the documents necessary. And so I'm there and they're like, oh, no, you have to check in at least three hours before a flight.

And I was like, what are you talking about three hours before a flight.

I've checked in thirty minutes before a flight, no problem.

And they're like, you probably.

You probably went to the gate agent thirty minutes before, but you have to check in for the flight three hours prior to an international flight. So then I was just like all sad and angry.

Meanwhile I'm running back and Dean said, stop running book us a flight to Vegas.

Wait. I didn't know that you have to check You don't have to check in three hours before an international flight.

There's no way you have to, like like online check in, but you don't have to like you actually don't have to be at the airport until however, long before.

I feel like I've checked in for an international flight, not three hours.

Okay.

So that's partly why I like raised a little bit of of up evil with these guys, because I was like, no, you know, I could do it, blah blah blah blah, and he like brought his manager over and I was like, and I was like, felt so bad about being kind of a jerk. So I was like, I'm sock, I'm sorry, I'm just like stressed out.

And the entire time, you're just praying that somebody that works there recognizes you, and you're like that Pa came over.

She was a girl. I was like, oh, I was like, took my hat off and like opened my eyes a.

Little bit lighter, threw my mustache a little bit longer, just for that moment, and they're like, yeah, there's nothing we can do. We can put you on a flight. Next flights in it was like in fourteen hours. It was ten am. The next flight was at one am the next day. So I was like, Kaylen, book us a flight back to Vegas. I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm sad I planned this surprise trip.

Yeah, was still under the impression that you guys are supposed to be going to Hawaii.

No, because when I had to book the COVID test. It gave it away that it was Japan because it said, like, there, it's only for japan travel that needs COVID tests.

I guess, yeah, because.

They just open their borders like and I couldn't even say internet anymore. It just said, like, the only place that you need this for is Japan.

Yeah, And so then I was also bumed because of the great surprise that I've been planning for months is ruined. So I said, book a flight back to Vegas and we'll just go and we'll catch this.

One am flight.

Oh and also, I never fly business class. I booked this business class tickets on this flight from LA to Japan.

And I knew Kaylin is going to love.

It, and it's devastating.

It was devastating.

And the business class tickets that I bought were less expensive than the economy tickets. We had to buy that for the same flight a couple hours later, so canceled that flight. Klen I was still mad and fuming, and I was like, what do you want me to do? Like, we're not going to Japan, I guess, And so Kaylin was like, all right, I'll book the tickets to Japan. Since it's mostly my since eighty five percent my fault.

Indeed, since it's eighty.

Five sent my fault, all now booked the tickets to Japan. So all that to say, we ended.

Up in Japan six hours later than we were supposed to, which is not terrible.

Also, let me just say why it's only seventy percent my fault, eighty five whatever, because I didn't know we were going to Japan. Otherwise I would have like realized this. Gotten the PCR test because I got a PCR test, I got an antigen test, and I got a rapid PCR And.

Yeah, you spent four hundred dollars on tests.

Oh my god, it was awful.

That's why it surprises it. Surprises are always great in theory, but they never work out because something always goes awry. For example, you need something, you can't tell Caitlin that she needs it because you guys are surprised that you're surprising her. And then here we are, six hours later, you're finally in Japan.

I was like digging through a dresser looking for her Boosters certificate, looking for her passport. That way I wouldn't have to ask her for it. I could just like she'd be like, I'd be like, we're going to Japan. She's like, I don't have my passport. I'd be like, ha ha, I got it right here. I lead all through redors couldn't find it. So then I had to be like, hey, just so you know, Hawaii requires us to have a passport now.

For some reason.

And that really gave away, So.

I agree, no more surprises.

So you flew direct from Vegas to Japan?

Now from laeds Oh?

Yeah, so Vegas to LA and then our flight from Vegas to LA was so delayed.

Yeah, our flight on Southwest was the who actually we should have hit up Southwest?

And I know because there was a groundhold, not even it wasn't a groundhold.

Sorry.

Southwest was like, we're having like major issues with our flight system.

Yeah, we need to just send an angry Eastern email forty minutes late.

And if we were there forty minutes earlier, who knows what would have happened.

We could have made it.

It could have been possible. But we're here. It's fine at six am. We slept thirteen hours last night.

Damn. How long are you guys there for?

Not long enough to justify being five hours late and sleeping thirteen hours.

On the first night in Wait, how long? How long is that?

We're just here for a week. We could leave to Hawaii next what Wednesday or something like that. So not bad.

No, that's not bad at all. So you guys going from Japan to Hawaii.

Yeah, and then we go to Mali for like five days, four nights. How long you guys gone for five days, four nights?

No?

Total?

Oh, like thirteen days. Yeah.

Oh that's a nice trip. There we go.

Yeah, great surprise trip. He did a great job. And the hotel he booked us as beautiful.

I booked us this beautiful five star hotel on my Amex. I had two hundred thousand AX points, and I was like, I could probably get the whole trip paid for. And these Amex points get paid for a night and like four hours.

At this hotel.

This hotel costs three hundred thousand points. I'm like, how does how how does amex get away with devaluing their points so much? I feel like I should be getting so much more, like.

My Delta points because I have the Amex Delta points and I have like ninety I have like one hundred thousand points and I'm like, oh my god, like how much money is that? And it's like seventy one dollars and I'm like, oh my god.

It's crazy how they make you feel like you have so much and you spend so long accumulating these points and then you go.

To spend them and they're not worth nearly as much as you think.

Yeah, they're like, well you can get a pizza with it. I'm like, thank you so much. I have a good night.

Yeah, we'll give you one free cocktail on the airplane.

Yeah, not like a full pizza, but like it's lights.

Yeah. So that's where we're at.

That's that's been the story of our past like seventy two hours.

But since we've gotten here, it's been great.

We did Team Labs yesterday, which is this cool museum.

Dean surprise me with that.

Yeah, what is it you love about Japan so much?

Like?

What what made you beat? Yeah? Like, oh I got to bring her to Jaa.

It's clean, it's safe, the food is amazing, the culture is really cool. I mean, obviously I don't care about clean and safe.

I will say it sounds like you're describing a Rhode Island.

Yeah, yeah, it's Providence, Rhode Island, and it's just the biggest metropolis in the world.

So it's a pretty cool place to be in Tokyo.

And we've both been separately and we've always wanted to go together.

Yeah, this is there my first time in Japan with a significant other, not Caitlin's first time.

We have a significant other. Just just to be clear, I just wanted to throw that in there. Have you ever been to Japan? And Jared, now, Oh, dude, you gotta go.

Yeah, that's the thing, Like, because if I'm traveling, obviously, oh, we can go to Italy with all the food, or if I want to go to France for the culture and the Eiffel Tower. You know, there's so many places where I'm like, oh, I have to go here for this, and so many people love Japan so much. That's I'm like, yeah, I want to go to Japan, But what what is in Japan that I'm like, you have to do this, you gotta do this, you got to see this.

Well, it's especially tricky for you because, like we said earlier in the podcast, you're an hour, We're eleven hours ahead of you, So it's literally on the exact opposite side of the world for you.

Oh yeah, you know, like.

It's far from La but it's even farther from the East coast.

So yeah, So what are you guys going to do in Japan?

Well, we got some sushi yesterday, we went to that art show.

We go to Kyoto today, we go to Kyota today.

We went to the Chabilia crossing this morning and we got an argument on the crosswalk.

Because it was a green light and do you want to me to run onto the crosswalk as it was a green light and cars are incoming.

So there's this very famous intersection here, intersection.

That's what I was trying to say earlier. And there's intercrossing. I was trying to say, intersection.

There's a very famous intersection, the busiest intersection in the world, where like in the middle of the day there's literally thousands of people crossing the street at the same time in all directions and like a million of cars. And we went there at five am this morning because I was like, how cool would it be to get a picture of us crossing the busiest intersection with no one around?

And we were awake at three thirty am.

Yeah, Well, we slept the fourteen hours last night, and so we were there and it was like not there was maybe like twenty people crossing the intersection every time the light turned green. And I was like, Kaylen, now is the perfect time. Let's just walk through that. Let's jaywalk essentially run across the street. Will be the only people in the street. There's no cars coming in.

Any direction, but they could and they go fast.

And here's my thing.

If there are laws against jaywalking in California, how are there not laws against jaywalking in Japan?

There are laws against jaywalking in Japan, but we want to get arrested. You're not going to get arrested for jaywalking. You'll get a sative fine. You have probably pay like one hundred dollars, and a picture is worth at least one hundred dollars.

No, in my I would pay the fine. And well, I'd pay your fine.

So we've been arguing ever since then, and we just we had turned on a happy phase for this podcast.

Oh my gosh, we got over it.

I got over it.

You're you're being so traumatic? Are the most dramatic person?

Yeah, so whichpans, great man, you got to make that here. What's going on with deal? What's the new idea?

Oh, you know, just coffee shop. And I don't know, man, I don't know how much longer I got it in me to run this place. I'll tell you it is draining, like dude. Literally, The problem is I love it obviously, but it's hard to make money right now. And I love operating and owning my own business. I'm being dramatic right now, but like goes wrong all the time, and that's the restaurant industry. I accept that. But it's just like a month ago, our walk in, which is essentially

That's a little weird.

Usually it's not that high, and then it just kept creeping up. I'm like, oh Jesus. So I'm like turning it on and off, figuring out, and of course it's still not holding temperature. So I have to call the mechanic again, probably Providence Mechanical, and they're just like, well, you know, we're busy right now. We're gonna try to get out there as soon as possible. I'm like, yeah, but like this food can't be in here for more

You're saying this freezer thing happened today.

Literally it's still happening right now. There. Ashley's at the restaurant and I was reading a book by So you guys watch Restaurant Possible.

I've seen it, but I don't watch it regularly.

Dude, I love that show. So Chef Robert Irv and is the best. By the way, I forgot to mention, Hannah, if you're selling this, call that he if chef Robert Irvin wants to call him on help We Stuck at being new uh whatever the hell is called suck Help we Stuck at being newlyweds, then I would love to

But usually hire someone like a like a store manager.

So I do. I have a kitchen manager, but he actually needed to leave early today because it's his daughter's birthday, so I was there and then he does a really good job. But obviously, as the owner, everything falls on me, which is totally understandable, like this is my shop, it's my responsibility, and I hire help. You know. It's also tough because there's only so much I can expense for

So just some more lube on Instagram, man, you can afford that, dude.

I'm selling lube left and right.

Baby, I've got a question about another twenty four to seven job that you might be coming into. Are you and Ashley seriously still talking about having baby number two?

Oh yeah, so we're not in the midst of trying. It's not like I mean, well, yeah, I mean she's on birth control pretty much like we'll start trying when she gets off birth control again. But it is funny, like, you know, obviously we're married. There is sexy time involved in marriage and it is funny, Like every time after we're done, we're like, wouldn't it be funny if you were pregnant right now? That would be terrible because it's just we want a second kid. I want d Austin

If you need a couple of guys with good sperm samples. I know a couple of guys that live in the mountains.

That'll be want to help you out, a willing good to know as a backup.

That's a really good point. Are they willing? I don't know, but I guess we'll find out.

Do you think they would be more willing to so say they had the choice, like they had to choose between donating. So your brother had to choose between donating his sperm to Klin or Ashley, what would you do? You think You're brother would be like, I feel more comfortable giving it to someone I don't know, or I feel more comfortable quote unquote keeping into the family.

Yeah, that's the question.

I do know.

When I was going to donate sperm for money, when I first went to LA, they both were like, that's weird.

You'd have a lot of unknown children running around.

So it sounds like it's a no to anyone.

Maybe that was, you know, that was ten years ago, eight years ago. It's but they might have changed. They're both dads now, well one dad to be.

So what do you I don't know.

I don't really want to have their children just because it's like it's weird Christmas and Thanksgiving.

It's like, there's your.

Real dad, that's not weird. I'll be their real dad. I'm the one raising them, that's not weird.

I don't know.

Well, what about when we adopt a kid that's different? How's that different?

I don't know, you would be their dad? But I mean your brother would be their biological dad.

Yeah, you're not seeing the adopted kids parents at every holiday.

Yeah, I guess something to think about. But no, that is definitely a big step. So August, you say, is when you guys are gonna start trying potentially against that's great.

Yeah, we're thinking August because we want Ashley also wants to not have to. You know, it's been kind of a turbulent year. It's been good, like we're so lucky, but you know, there's just been a lot of stress between the shop, moving Ashley, Rhode Island. There is definitely a little bit of seasonal depression in the you know, the New England area. Between Jennifer remarks, the weather it's just starting to get nice. So I think she really

Who knows?

Who knows?

Well?

I mean, best lect to you. Man. That's great, that's great to hear.

We are going to take one quick break and then we're going to jump into some Q and a's that we have from our listeners.

Are you guys cool with that?

Yeah?

Oh of course I love the Q and a's.

All right, stay tuned. Buckle your seat belts.

We'll be right back. All right, We're back. Unbuckle your seat belts. No, keep them buckled. I'm just kidding.

All right. We have a couple of questions.

I'm not sure where these questions came from, because I feel like we haven't be giving our email out.

We have every episode, I think.

I also like how we keep plugging our Instagram with the wrong Instagram account.

Because no, it's at help underscore, I isn't it.

Well, we've been plugging help.

We suck at being newly what it's Instagram page, but our current pages still help us sec at dating right, And I'm pretty sure I have the password to change that, but I just don't. I don't know what it is, and I'm not the one that posts. Whoever post? I think it's on it. If you can hear me, just change it. Hope we stuck at Remillion. Oh we can't. We can't change the user name.

Yeah, I means, but we have you know, we have sixteen thousand dollars, so let's not mess things up here. Dean, when you said seatbelts, it made me think, Uh, do you still fly.

Like airplanes?

No? Like in your dreams? Yes, airplanes.

I haven't taken a pilot class in like four years.

How many pilots? So you don't have your license or anything. You just took a couple of classes.

I got like halfway through my license process and I forget what happened.

I moved into a van.

No, yeah, that's gonna be part of it.

I just had so many interests at the time that it was hard to keep up with all of them. And that was the one that one of many, not many, one.

Of a few.

I guess I fell by the wayside. So it was just I was overburdening myself.

Because I was like envisioning you and Kaylan, you know, topping style flying through the air. Would you ever, Kaylan, did you ever get into a plane with Dean as the pipe?

Yeah?

After he has a lot of hours.

We actually saw those like top gun planes in Vegas and we were wondering if they it's like like something that you can sign up for.

I don't care about these top gun planes.

You.

Oh, don't get in an airplane with me as the pilot after licensed by the thousands.

And thousands of hours. I just don't really like small planes. It has nothing to do with you.

It sounds like it has everything to do with me.

I'm not getting in a small plane with anyone.

Well, yeah, because you don't have a need to.

But if your partner was like, hey, I got my license, let's go for a ride, you would say no.

I think about it.

I think one of the reasons I was getting my license in the first place as a single guy at the time, was like, how cool would it be for a data idea, like Hey, jump in my plane.

We're going to It's so expensive not only to rent a plane, but fuel and all of that.

It's less expensive than I bet you think it is.

I think it's more expensive than you think it is.

I think I've done a lot more research in this than you apps. I'm pretty sure we got a better understanding.

It would I wouldn't get licensed if I was bad at volg an airplane. You don't get license, Like I guess they give out driver's license if you're bad at driving Dean.

But yeah, well.

Who's the better driver?

May that's insane of you to even say, No.

It's Deane. It's Dean. But sometimes he can be a little scary.

Not scary, I hate uh.

I hate drivers that are like skittish and like uncertain about what they're doing. And so sometimes I get a little like I'm like, like, same with people walking, no, not aggressive. Same with when we're walking places like yesterday for instance, when there's like this group in front of us and they're like walking slow, meandering around, and you're like, it's their world, we're just living in it. That's how I feel what i'm driving. I'm like, get out of

It's more just like you know, finding yourself. I am I'm the best driver in the world.

I think, No, not the best driver in the world, but you're very good.

I'm the best, even one better driver than me, you can't.

So so yeah, I think it'd be cool to take a Kaelin on a date me finding the airplane. But it sounds like that's not Would you get in my airplane with me?

Probably not? No, Actually, and I have talked about this. I think where because when you're getting your pilot lessonse like, could you imagine just going on a delta flight. We're an American Airlines, fine, sitting there and all of a sudden, it's like, this is your captain speaking, and we're going to be traveling about five I was like, I'm sorry, get me off this goddamn plane right now.

It'd be like, what's.

Up, guys, welcome to my flight. It's going to be sick.

Up there today. Who's that thirty five thousand feet?

You never speak like that.

That's first of all, the copilot would come on and say, excuse me, folks, I'm really sorry about this, but the pilot is just running a bit late. He's going he's on his way right now, and uh. And then that's when you come on, and then you'd be like, yo, what would you say?

I'd be like, hey, sorry an hour late? Ball makeup?

Yeah, that'd be tough because I take quite a few poops throughout the day. I'm sure you could probably fly as a pilot and still poop while you're phone.

For an hour.

Hey, welcome to help. We suck at being pilots on your Captain Dean Hunger just kidding, guys, we're gonna be all right.

Yeah, well you could. You could podcast from the flight.

Yeah, that'd be sweet.

But also being a commercials that takes that takes thousands of hours. I think what you guys are thinking of being a pilot, it doesn't. It only takes like forty hours of flying time to become a license. Like a plane, a little plane, a cute little plane, but a commercial pilot you have to have.

I don't know, ten thousand hours more. Maybe can you.

Text and fly like these pilots just text texting the cockpit?

Yeah?

I think you probably could. Yeah, it's like it's all automated these days.

Could you imagine on takeoff if like as you're the engines are rearing and you're about to take off in the pilots just like leaning back phone in front, he's playing angry Birds. Oh god, are we at thirty thousand feet?

Ye?

I bet you it's illegal, but I bet you it happens more often than we think.

Maybe dude pilot Pete definitely Texas, did you guys, Yeah, oh yeah, he's got to be. He's probably swiping on Tinder.

He's posting on Instagram as the flight taken off.

But I'm sure he lands every aircraft safely. Did you guys see that video of the train conductor crashed into the train in front of her because she was texting on her phone. Yeah, it's pretty dangerous stuff, pretty dangerous stuff.

That's crazy.

We got a couple Q and a's here.

Wait before we get to the Q and A, should we talk about what's going on.

With our wedding?

What's going on with your wedding?

It's terrible?

Well I don't think we should.

I mean it's terrible. Oh well no, no, no, no, talk about it?

No?

No, no, yeah, us weekly are you listening? Here we go.

I've asked Kaylen not to talk about it because because I don't want to, because the owner of the property of the venue is very annoying to deal with. And I said I don't want to talk about it because I think even negative press can.

Be good press.

We're not going to say where we're getting married, even though I want to.

It's it's just frustrating.

We just feel like we're being exploited quite a bit with it. But but we don't need to get into it yet. I think maybe once it gets closer to it.

Do you think you're being exploited because of who you are? Just in general? Every bride and groom with this place.

I think that I think, I don't know, I could see you going out of the way. I think this guy is just such a jerk. And he doesn't answer his email for like a week or two at a time, so it's like impossible to get an answer from him. So it's like, how do you run like this wedding business? It's just very frustrating. And last week was the first time I ever cried about the wedding. But it was very upsetting.

No, oh no.

Well, it's just annoying. I'm just I'm very angry. I'm very upset.

I feel like I don't know if it's because like People magazine is covering it and he thinks he can just nickel and die mus but he's just the worst.

Yeah, he's annoying, and but I don't really want to talk.

About it too much today, and that's all we have to say.

We talk about it later, maybe, like once some more things develop. We put in some requests which are like the most basic of requests, mostly to help keep the cost down for our guests, and we're still waiting to hear back on some of them.

Yeah, we're not even like doing it for us.

We're like trying to make sure everyone who comes has a great time and doesn't have to like spend an insane amount of money. But he wants to charge people one hundred dollars per day for breakfast, which is crazy.

Yeah, that was my big thing, on hundred dollars per day per breakfast. So it's nextra three hundred dollars per guest, and it's like, no one wants to spend one hundred dollars on breakfast for eggs for eggs and porridge and porridge. I mean, I don't know what else it would be. But but yeah, we'll save that. We'll save that venting session for an other time.

Maybe it was a half vent.

Yeah, I could see that.

I'm excited for the other half vent.

Let's get to this Q and A Hey, Jre do you think pregnancy can be hot or attractive?

Absolutely?

Oh with that does a certain person?

Uh no, but have you there's like, well, if you remember Dean and she's a friend, so we can like talk about her beauty without it being weird. But do you remember when Jana Kraymon was pregnant at the ir Festival and wearing Genie by the pool and she was like seven months pregnant?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean I've personally never been attracted to a pregnant person, but maybe maybe that.

Attracted to you when you're pregnant. That's my point. I think it's better that way.

Specially Talen, I think you could be a very tiny pregnant person, you know, like Ashley. I mean love her to death. She was beautiful when she was pregnant, obviously, but she was you know, she really like everything was just like you know, her ankles and feet and you know, she got the whole kingo boodle.

What is What does Dwight say? Why would I be attracted to a pregnant person? The whole reason that you're attracted to people is because of the possibility.

Of reproducing with them.

A pregnant person, you literally have the zero percent chance of reproducing with at that time, So why would there be any like genetic attraction to this person? And so like, if you get pregnant, sure I would be attracted to you. I can imagine, I hope so, but I haven't been ever attracted. Like I've never googled pregnant born before. Oh that'd be weird.

Not be weird. You know, people all got their kicks, kinks and their fetishes.

But you've never seen it. You've never seen a pregnant woman be like, Wow, she's pulling off pregnancy.

I can recognize, like they're like like Johnna, for instance, was pretty. Jana was pretty for a pregnant person, But I still wouldn't be like, damn, she's hot.

You know what I mean?

She's pregnant for a pregnant person.

What do you mean?

I don't know. It just sounded a little rude.

What do you mean, I don't know.

That's weakely headline rude.

Yeah, am rada, amrada.

Yeah she's pretty, sure, but she's not Like if you put like a pregnant Emorda next to a not pregnant other supermodel, I'd be like, oh, the not pregnant supermodel is harder than Amrada in this moment while.

Pregnant Emily Rodaitowski, I'm like, who the hell is am Rada? Yeah, well, I want to see what she looks like pregnant.

Now.

My final answer is I think that they can be pretty.

I don't think that they're hot. Okay, I don't look at them be like, WHOA, she's hot.

You're an anti pregnant, you're an anti pregnante.

No, I'm not at all. Pregnancy's beautiful.

It's just it's a different type of beauty that I I've never.

Pretty pretty versus hot. I can see where you're coming from.

Yeah, thank you, all right, Next question, Next question, Jared, how would you react if Ashley approached you about a threesome.

With another man?

These questions could not be from listeners. This is crazy, are crazy?

Uh No, you know what's so sexist of me is that if she approached me with a threesome for a woman, I don't think I could do it, but I would definitely entertain the idea because I'm like, wow, that's a talk about a bucket list. But I could. I don't. I could never do it with another guy. I don't think. I almost feel bad saying that because it's so I don't know. I'm like, oh, yeah, I could definitely at least entertain the idea of another woman, but a guy,

Sorry, I think that's a standard answer. I'm the same. But I also wouldn't really entertain it if it was in the girl either. Yeah. Answer, wonderful answer, Thank you so much. Yeah, I've already got enough going on.

When there's just two of us in there with theres a third person, I would have no idea what to do.

And like, it's also different because you know, as a guy growing up, you always dream of having a threesome. But it's also you know, I've never had one, but it probably AIG's regret in life. I'm kidding, but like you, you know, it's like usually like two people you don't know, you know, like my wife. I don't know. I don't think I could do it. I think, yeah, I don't think I could ever do it. Maybe, but I don't think.

Maybe there's only one way to find out.

Yeah, let's let's not put that out in the I'm.

Going to get some weird, weird dms when you actually go to dinner, do you prefer the same side of the booth or the opposite side of the booth?

Dude, opposite side of the booth. Please tell me you're not same siders. You're same siders.

No judge you so badly the same side.

There are occasions where we're same siders. If it's a booth on one side and two chairs on the other side.

I love the.

Booth, and Kaylen knows that I love the booth, and so she'll sit first and take the booth.

We both love the booth, and I nine times out of ten give you the booth because I'm so nice.

No, it's at least half the time we split booth. But there are times where I'm like, oh, I just really need the booth right now, and Kaylen won't budge, and so we're still on the same side of the booth.

I think the boot's overrated.

Booth is the least overrated thing in the world. I think it is the best.

Most of the chairs are very comfy, they have a nice cushion. Plus anytime that I need to get out of a booth, I do that awkward like slide where I got to slide out of the table and then I usually bump the table and it's like with a chair, just push out. I'm already out, baby. I think the booth's overridded. This just it's not it's not a good couch. It's not like I'm laying down.

If you have like a party of eight and there's four booth seats and four regular seats, I'll take a regular seat because, like you're saying, you don't.

Want to be like, hey, can I get out real quick? You know?

Yeah?

But there are times where we both sit on the same side of the booth because I want to be in the booth and Kan wants to be in the booth and we're both subburn so we're both like, well, I'm not gonna not sit in the booth, you know, I guess yeah.

Also, when we're out to dinner, like I want to I want to like a lot of you know what. It's weird though, because I say, I want to look at Ashley, so I like sitting on the other side of the table so I can converse and we can look at each other instead of turning my neck. Having said that, I love sitting at the bar, which of course leads to turning over to my left or right wherever she's sin and talking to her. But also there's something about the bar, like the bar tender, the TVs.

I don't mind the bar because I'm I hate eye contact, and so they're sitting at the bar. Like you say, you don't have to look directly at at whoever you're dining with.

Since then, do you hate eye contact?

Have you ever noticed when I talk, I never make eye contact, Like I'll make like if you're talking, I'll listen to you by making eye contact, But like right now i'm talking, I'm terrified look.

Actually like other people as well when you're talking to them. Remember you had that meeting and they were like, you know, make more eye contact.

Yeah, I get nervous when I talk and try.

To look at me keep my eyeland Jim, Jim.

Yeah, I'm bad at eye contact.

So that's why the bar is actually a good choice for that, because then you're not expected to make eye contact unless you really want to.

Do guys gossip the way girls do?

Yeah?

I don't know how do girls gossip?

No chance?

If I tell you something, you're like huh, interesting, and you move on and you don't ask any follow up questions.

But I think what they're asking is, like, do I gossip the way that you gossip with your girlfriends?

With my guy friends, No, you don't really talk crap about people, or like if something happens, you don't really you don't really care to share.

Yeah, I like laugh, and then I'm like, next thing, Well, it depends because we like, we could talk about sports and sports personalities all day long. I feel like that's our gossiping because then we talk about like who's good for this position, or like the Broncos suck or Russell Wilson's overrated.

Or like yeah, Russell Wilson gossip is out of hand.

Oh totally. If you asked Dean about Russell Wilson, I'm sure you guys could talk for hours about this. So really what we're gossiping of gossiping about?

Mm hmm.

Yeah, but let's say like scanned of all, you all don't care about that, granted you don't watch the show.

Vander pump.

But like, let's say, I don't know, let's say your best friend cheated on his girlfriend.

You're not really going to talk about it.

Yeah, it's kind of almost like you're expected not to talk about it, not expected to, But.

Okay, my best friend cheated on her boyfriend, you're not going to talk about it.

I would try to find a way to change the subjects as quickly as possible, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so maybe yeah.

That's true, But mostly because I just don't really care, you know, like like Jared saying, I care about sports figures that I admire, so I have more of like a willingness to talk about them because I'm more not that I'm not more invested, but like also.

Maybe the fact that I'm disconnected.

Like if it's one of my best friends, I like don't want to make him upset by talking about it behind his back. So but I don't care if Russell Wilson knows that I'm talking crap about him behind his back. But you would never, but I would never because I love Russell Wilson and he's gonna win a Super Bowl for us this year.

I don't love it, but I like him.

I do think the more crap people talk about him, the more I like him because he like becomes an underdog and I love an underdog and I love the Broncos.

Yeah, you guys might be good this year. I like Champagne and I think Wilssell can have a bounce back here. Uh do you think it's a turn off if someone has not been in a relationship before. I think I'm strong, but it definitely raises a flag or two. Mmm.

I don't think so well.

It makes me I mean, how old you know, like honestly Ashley and then you know, Ashley's beautiful and it was like, oh, she's never you know. She was like I've never had a boyfriend and you know, I'm a twenty seven year old virgin. And it was like, okay, that's first of all, totally fine, but just curiosity, why, you know, is it you with guys? Do you not want to be in a relationship with the guy or

Yeah, I could see being a turn off if that person was like boyfriend, like if they really wanted to be in a relationship their whole life and they never have been. Then it'd be like, well, obviously you're doing something wrong because you really want this and you haven't had it.

I'm no mathematician here, but something's not adding up. Sure, yeah, if it's a big F boy.

I mean I had some hesitations getting in a relationship with you.

I've been in relationships before, though.

Oh I know, but you're an F boy.

Okay, you were an F girl at some point in your life, dare you? Well everyone needs to go there in fas at some point.

Wait, Caylen, were you an F girl?

Oh yeah, probably, Yeah, she was, tell him about your F girls story, your F girl days.

Well, you know, I was living life. Yeah, single goal.

Okay, tell us more.

That's all I got.

Come on, she was, Yeah, No, I I just like to pretend to make myself feel better.

Yeah, I'm trying to think, what like constitute what would Kaylen have to what story would she have to tell where I'd be like, oh, that's an F girl, move right there.

She's going on a different on a date with a different guy every night for a month.

Didn't do that.

It was like a couple of weeks.

No, I wasn't like much of a like go out on a bunch of dates. I don't know, maybe maybe again.

Yeah, in college, you don't think an f girl is a type of girl that just dms guys that she's never met before.

That's an F girl move.

And that's what I did, and that's how I got my fiance.

To the max. I've never DMed a girl before and be like, hey, let's go on a date.

This is too much pressure on me. Let's move to you guys.

It's nice.

Let's hear about that.

Yeah, finally, everyon this is the first THEN podcast history that you're put on blast.

Yeah, so continue.

Yeah, I'm so curious now because it's so different from a girl's perspective, So like, for example, the one night's stand did you Because from a guy's perspective, most of the time, it's like the girl who's, uh, man, this sounds terrible hanging around, you know, like kind of and then most of the time, like stereotypically, it's the guy who's like, oh, I'm just you know, sorry, it's not ready for a relationship. Like what was it like? Were you like, I'm out?

When I think about F boys, I think about like sleeping around a lot and just ghosting a lot of women, like talking to a lot of women that's and ghosting all of them and just like a relationship phobic.

I don't really know what constitutes enough girl.

I fucked up with girls before and with the intention of hanging at them again and been ghosted. Does that make them f girls? Yeah? Girls, Man, I've been f girled before.

So maybe that I don't believe you one second, Dean.

Yeah, well it's just because I have.

A small penis and I just didn't think they were really ever, this is weird time.

I don't believe Dean one second.

That next before I take myself into a deeper role. Okay, question this is this is now.

We've talked to Naj about this, the virgin question. Do you and I actually like to stay in touch throughout the day? Is it considered needy if your partner likes to text you all day long?

Ah? Do we stayed I mean.

Uh yeah, maybe like three baby and post baby.

It's it's it's different because yeah, I mean we're always in toe obviously, and we also work together, you know, so we're in a group chat with our agent that we have like forty messages going back and forth a day about so that is a big part of it. And if we didn't work together, I could totally see us not speaking for you know, if I was at work and she was home. Yeah, I don't know. If we'd speak throughout the day and then I would just come home and we would just talk about our day.

Blah blah blah.

What about dms? Do you guys send each other like cute dog dms? Or little things like that?

She does, and I feel bad because I never do that. I feel bad. I feel like I'm a bad partner because she'll send she'll text me like TikTok's or instagrams that she's seen, and then I just never. I don't do that with anything though.

That's tough to It's like if someone, because I have some of my really close friends, send me a bunch of meme stuff on Instagram, and Kaylin does too, and It's like, how do you respond to that? Like they're either funny they're cute, and you can like maybe the first coupley like ha ha or lol. But then when there's like six cut ones in a row, you like you've kind of exhausted all your responses. Yeah, and then you feel guilty for not responding. Yeah, exactly.

Like a buddy of mine sends me golf memes all the time and I just don't respond anymore. I just read a move.

I'm like, same. You wonder what I started doing?

That is like if they if they send me one and I know like which one it is, and then I'll send them the same one back and then they'll be.

Like, oh I just tell you this. I'd be like, no, way, that's so funny.

Wait, we've done that before.

Yeah, I send you something and you don't check it, and I'm like, wait, I sent you this, Well.

I will send you back the same one. So that way, you're like, oh, how cute that we were thinking of this same thing when we saw this.

Do you guys text back and forth?

Yeah?

When he's traveling, definitely, yeah.

Kaylen Klen texts a lot.

So to shuit Doan hates talking on the phone.

So when he's gone, we basically don't talk on the phone that often and just text yeah yeah, yeah.

Do you talk every day though, I'm.

Bad at you. Yeah yeah, yeah, most.

Days every day unless you lost service.

Yeah, you gotta talk once a day. It's like the rule.

Yeah, But sometimes it's nice to go a couple days of that talking because then it's never happened together to talk, then you have more to talk about.

Okay, but that's never happened.

It's probably happened at least once. I think that's also a fallacy. I've I've noticed that even the longer I go without talking to Ashley, I don't have more to talk about because maybe it's just because they know everything about my life and we would just post on Instagram. But like I've any yeah, because anytime, like if she's away for a few days, I guess I still talk on the phone, but I'm like, hey, what's up? Like, yeah, I know everything all right? Cool, good to see you again.

Well that's kind of why it's to to talk every day, because like, what do you what do you talk about?

Well?

Yeah, when you get we get back in person, I tell everything that happened. And then he doesn't like to do that with me. I have to like ask him the right questions because I don't think.

My life's that interesting, so it is. I don't find it interesting, so I don't find it interesting to talk about. Yeah, you can find interesting thing. You can find interesting tidbits in a less interesting world, which is great.

It's an admirable it is. It's very admirable, and I wish I could do that.

I want to come back from a trip and be like, Oh, you'll never believe this happened in the first day, and then this, and then this and then that, and then the next day this happened.

Well, it takes you like a while to warm up, and then like three days later you'll be like, oh, did I tell you this happened?

And then a week later you'd be like, oh, and then this happened.

Yeah, that's true. It does take me some time to warm up. I have to gauge your interest in this topic. And then I'll I'll like memorize or not memorize, but I'll remember it for later, be like, okay, cool, she thought this was kind of interesting, she thought this was really interesting. So in three days, bring this up, Bring this crazy story up that happened.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's tough to talk about the day.

But I mean that sounds like a good fiance right there. It sounds like you don't it'suck a being newly it's just yet.

Thank you. I appreciate that lot to me. One last question before we say goodbye. What is it going to be? What is it going to be? Oh? Well, I guess this kind of fits. Why are men usually worse on their phones?

Let's see it.

I think it just kind of goes back to the gossip thing, like.

I don't know, I don't know, I'm so bad on my phone.

I think I just think guys are generally worse at like wanting to talk about the minute show of their day, you know, oh.

One thousand percent. But even like I'll ja, I texted my buddy who lives in Vancouver because I haven't talked to him. While I'm like, hey, I'm going to text. His name is Chad. I was like, I'm going to text Chad. See I was doing? And then so I texted him and then we went back and forth for a minute, which was great, and then he texted me, how's the coffee? Shop and I read it and I was like, all right, I need I'm gonna respond because

I don't know, that's a guy thing. I'm gonna say. I can't.

I only talking on the phone because I can't do other stuff while I'm talking on the phone, and although like I'm not a traditionally busy person, I feel like I'm always doing tasks throughout the day and if i'm texting someone, I can text whenever I want, but I can't drop everything and talk on the phone for.

An hour, you know what I mean.

Yeah, I feel like you guys are just more You just aren't interested.

I thought about interest, said, I just don't want to have to drop everything I'm doing.

But even texting. You're bad at texting, but I'm not.

I'm pretty good at texting. I think I'm pretty good.

Text He sometimes you leave me on red.

No, I don't, not really, not if it's like a pressing thing.

Did he do that in the beginning of the relationship.

I don't know. I don't think so he was. It's pretty good.

I was trying to think of it. If there's like a time where it really pissed you off and you're like, is this guy serious? He just doesn't respond to me, but now, like I know you could care less.

Yeah, sometimes he just like he'll he'll leave me on Red and I'll like keep texting and like something else happened, and I'll text him something else happened, and he just won't respond when you're traveling.

But I get it, you're so busy.

I'm a busy guy. Yeah, in a non traditional way. I'm a busy guy.

U's weekly. Dean Angler continues to ghost fiance Kaylin Miller Keys.

Dean and fiance talk once a week on their phones.

Yeah.

So yeah.

I think guys are just traditionally worse worse at texting than girls are. Even some of my closest guy friends who I love to death, are the worst texters in the world. But then when we see each other in person, we talk like there's no love lost at all. Like Austin, for instance, one of my best friends from back home.

How do I run this? How do I do this?

I text back instantly like oh, because I'm excited to talk about it.

I'm like, oh, you should do this.

Build this, get this battery, et cetera. And then he'll just like stop texting, And after I said him like this big long explanation of what I think he should do, and then you know, I won't hear from him for three weeks, He'll text me another question. Won't hear from him for three weeks, and then we see each other in person and it's like, oh, it's so great to see you.

You know, like, and then we hang out the whole time and I have a blast. So just guys are just weird like that. I think we're just wired differently sometimes.

Yeah, I don't know, but hopefully those answer some of your questions. I don't know these questions funny because we're all just so stupid at the end of the day.

Well, they're also about like dating, and we're all not dating.

Well, no, I'm not saying they're stupid. I'm saying we're stupid.

Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, But I'm saying that the questions are a little bit hard for us to answer.

Yeah, that's true.

It talks a lot about like when you're getting to know someone, if your husband wants to have a threesome. Yeah, if I brought back a guy and I was like, Hey, this guy's hot, what do you think? No, yeah, but he was really hot though. No, if it was like if it was like Ryan.

Gosling, I'm not Abjactice, Ryan Gosling.

Okay, if it was like Daniel Radcliffe, Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter, that that's a fun story in itself.

I think that would be something worth considering.

No, he seems like very small.

Yeah, great, that's fine.

It's good for Dean.

By comparison, I think we would look really good next to each other.

That's gonna do it.

For this week's episode of help we suck at being newlyweds.

I really proved that we sucked this week.

We do really suck.

I think I did a really good job of not getting any ridiculous headlines written about me.

This week.

We'll find we'll find something.

No, I'm sure there's gonna be nothing.

I'm sure there's gonna be nothing this time, and mark my words, there won't be anything. Which is good and bad. It's good for business if there is, but it's bad for my soul if there is. Wait, if there is, but it's also better for my soul if there isn't, you know, better for the soul, bad for the business. That's right, So maybe it's a soul week. Next week can be a business week. We'll go from there.

Jared has anything else you'd like to add before we say goodbye.

That will do it. You too, enjoyed Japan, Have fun. Don't cross the road unless it tells you to cross the road. Don't be a jackass and get arrested and go to japan jail. Other than that, have fun, enjoy your time, and we'll see you next week. We're hopefully we all suck a little less.

Thanks for listening.

Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at being Newlyweds.

And email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.

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