Big Plans with Big Ed

I'm doing well, just one day at a time. That's the only thing we can do during this freaking thing. But everybody's doing you know, staying safe. Everybody's doing well. We're all healthy. That's all we can ask for. Ashley and I find are are like fighting over smaller things now more often. But I'm pretty sure that's got to be normal for every couple. Give us, give us an example of what you guys are fighting over. Um, it's not like big fights. It's just more of like annoyances.

For example, we were trying to find something too. We were trying to watch a movie the other night and I I suggested Mission Impossible too because she hasn't seen it. And then she's like, no, I don't want to watch that. I was like, okay, that's fair, that would be my pick. And then she wanted to watch I don't remember what it was, but it was it was a rom com and I was like, I don't feel like watching, you know,

a romance movie. And then we were trying to pick a movie in the middle, and I suggested something like a like a good drama, and she's like, we never watched movies I want to watch and I was like, well, I feel like I know. I was like, I feel like we're watching movies that we both enjoyed, Like we just watched Molly's Game and we just watched I figured

out what else. But and then she goes She's like, she's like, I just feel like you're being selfish, and I was like, selfish, we're picking an equal movie, Like I suggested an action movie, you suggested a romance movie. We're meeting in the middle here, and question is why wouldn't you just be on board with whatever movie she picks in just like be on your phone the whole time. Well,

that would be a dick move. See, I think it would be worse because there's nothing that bothers me more than if there's a movie I want to show someone and then they're on the phone. For example, I showed Ashley The Dark Knight like two years ago because she was like, I don't get it. I saw it once and I was like, you're gonna get this freaking movie.

You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it. So we watched it twenty minutes and then she was on her phone and I was like, actually, I'm gonna lose it because I really need you to just focus, pay attention, to appreciate, and really put effort into thinking you might like this, and if you don't like it, hey, we'll go our separate rays and figure things out later. But at least put the effort in. Now. That's a good point,

I guess. I guess I didn't think of that. I just had thought because the she picked the movie that you had already seen and like definitely maybe or something like that. No, no, no, no, no no no. It was a movie that she has seen and she's like, oh, I could I could watch this And I was like, I'm kind of not in the mood for a romance right now, and so I thought I wasn't being that selfish, because you know, I suggested an action movie and then

she was like, hey, let's watch a romance movie. And I was like, right, neither one is gonna win on that one, so let's go in the middle and watch a movie we can both enjoy it. Do you find it helpful to have Ashley's parents there with you kind of as like an intermediary? Um? No, I mean, like I said, the good thing about Ashley and eyes even when we fight, it's it's really it is far and few between. And uh because we just, like I've always said, our friendship is so good that we really know how

to handle each other. But her parents being here, I don't know, that's a good question. And if there, I would say it's probably worse for um. Uh, Like I don't want to say worse for our relationship, but worse for when we're fighting, because then it makes me feel super awkward because her parents can hear, and then she uses them as more of a crutch instead of just hashing it out with me. Uh. But yeah, they like team up on you the I connects versus versus Jared.

It sounds like, well, right now, there's four against one. So um sl if that's gonna happen. I got Lois on my side, that's about it, And even her, she's yeah, it doesn't seem like you're gonna win too many arguments over there. Well. Hey, on the bright side, it seems like things are slowly starting to go back to normal, at least getting closer to Yeah, yeah, I mean it is.

It's still a little nerve racking scary because I just I don't know what's going to happen when the restrictions left, Like, for example, are you how comfortable are you going back into public and going back into the crowded areas well, I'm not quite as much about hypochondriac as you are, So I honestly not gonna have any issue. I'm not gonna be going to bars or like I guess it

probably wouldn't really be going to shopping centers either. But I won't have an issue going to the beach, going hiking out in the you know, the parks and stuff like that. But I can see like if if but you guys don't really go to that many bars either, Like if people were like great like partying all the time before the quarantine, I can see them being like, oh,

like things are never gonna be the same again. But I feel like for the most part, I guess there probably won't be like as many movie from premiers for you and actually to attend um and like those types of events probably will be a little bit fewer and

farther between. Yeah, I've just been going to the movies, going out to dinner, like, I mean, granted, it's just gonna change restaurants with Paul would be halful even like dude, flying, you know, I mean, Ashley and I we were lucky that a lot of the things we had to do we we traveled for. And that's kind of I don't know, I don't feel like being on a plane for six hours, you know, I know, I know they say it's pretty safe with the fresh air and as long as you're

wearing a mask. But still I'm not worried about flying. The only bummer for for me that strands flying specifically is that so many airlines are cutting their their airplane uh what's the word of looking for like availability, So they're gonna flights are essentially gonna get more expensive over time, which seems like a bummer too. But I'm not really terribly worried about the germs per se. I don't know it's gonna be. I have a question for you, Uh one,

have you always had an earring? Because I'm looking at you and you have an earring now and too. How does Caylen feel about it? I've always had my ears pierced. Yeah, I've had both ears pierced. I have two pierce things into my left ear, but I only have one hearing and now. Uh, she's supportive of the of the I got a dangly like little bar gold earring in there right now. You know, it's just nice to spice it up a little bit and keep it fresh. Mix it up might as well. We've got nothing better to do

in this quarantine. Are you wearing earrings in both ears? Are just the left? Um? I haven't worn earrings in both years since I was probably in college, but as recently as like last year, maybe a year or two ago, I had two piercings in my left lobe. Uh. So I had like two little mini hugger hoops uh in my left ear, which I really appreciate that look, but I think one of them closed up. Uh. And so I only have one hole in my left ear now. But yeah, like I said, you know, I just like

to keep it fresh, keep it interesting. That's kind of why I played around the facial hair a little bit. I've got a nice little bun going on today too, because it's hot here in l A. But it keeps the look fresh too. You have the mustache, you have an earring, and you're wearing a headband and you have your hair in a bun. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I look in the mirror, I don't even know who I am, and that's kind of exciting for me. Even too, I'm like, whoa,

who is this guy? You're hideous. But it's cool to, like, you know, have someone around the house. I guess. Yeah, it's like groundhog Day. So at least, yeah, you get to change your personality every day. Tori, how do you feel about guys with earrings? Oh? Great question, that's on fall of them. Sounds like she um doesn't want to answer honestly because she knows it's gonna hurt my feelings. I think that's done right. It can be attractive, but I'm I have a hard time with the dangle. But

then I'm also like, I don't want Nicholas Shade Studs. Yeah, I do remember a couple I think back in jan No, in January February, I came to the studio to recording episode must of the January and I had the dangle earring and the dog and the cutches, and Tori was very critical of my dangle. I feel like Tory would be critical of you no matter what you do, because that's what she just likes, ridiculing you. It's not critique,

it's that I know his potentials. Let's motivate. You know, where do you think, Tory, where do you think Dean has reached his most potential? Like, at what point throughout your friendship did you you think Dean is at his peak right now? Right now? I think every day, and it's a new it's a new peak for me. I think it was right before the leg injury. Yeah, you were like going out, you were happy, you were in nature, Calin was tagging along, you had your dog, like everything

was like great. And then I think that kind of didn't like hinder your peak. But you were just like definitely peaking then for sure. And then I broke my leg in my life got ruined basically. Yeah, no, yeah, I would I would agree with that. Um, we also are fostering a dog as of an hour ago today, so we have a little sister for Pappy. So that's kind of exciting for us. What's the name? I think it's im Sorry, you think it's some weird, uh foreign

name I'm not familiar with. I call her Frolio. But you just pete on the carpet in this in this room I'm broadcasting from so Star. She just turned to and she just had a litter of puppies and so she's got some nice, uh curvaceous teets, if you will.

But we thought my thought process behind it was since uh, since Patty has been so down and out lately with his like oar threat is and his teeth, I wanted to have like a nice, sexy young female walking around the house to maybe like breathe a little bit of spark into him, Yeah, make him young again. Yeah, and uh you yet to see it, but he's been fighting for our attention ever since, which is like kind of nice to see him, you know, get a little bit

more motivated for some pets. Is there potential that you'll keep throw young? Absolutely not. Oh please, I feel like you said the same thing about Pappy. I know I did say the same thing about Happy, but Pappy was an exception. He's just an amazing dog and as great as Throw You seems to be, Pappy needed us a lot more than I think Throw You will, so uh, you know, she's a little bit younger. She's got some

spunk and some cuteness too, and Peppy's cute. But he was like so old that if we didn't adopt him, he probably would have died in the shelter or something, you know, which is a little bit of a different,

different circumstance. Yeah, it's interesting. And Tory said your peak was right before you broke your leg, because I feel like since that incident happened, you and Klin have become a lot stronger, even though you guys were strong relationship beforehand, just from her going there and taking care of you, and now you guys are obviously in quarantine together. I guess I would say that I would disassociate my peak with my relationship, though, you know, like my personal peak

is different than the strength of my relationship. I feel like Ashley would kill me if I said that I was I was at my peak before we got together. I think they're just two separate mountains with two different peaks. You can peek on your own on this mountain over here, and then the relationship peak is over here, and then actually got her on mountain that she's on by herself over there. They're all you know, it's all uh evan

and flowing together. That's how I look at Yeah, I'll try to explain that to her and just let me know how it goes. Hopefully it'll be around next week. To your point earlier about like getting in small petty arguments, I mean, we definitely do the same thing, even just just yesterday. I can't remember what we were arguing about, but of something so so so silly, and it's just like, what is it? Is it just that the fact that we're spending too much time around each other is that

we're all cooped up in this little apartment. We can't do the things that we want to do. I don't know, it's just I feel myself being more irritable. I like see myself getting annoyed at things, and I'm like, dude, what are you getting annoyed at that? For? You know what I mean? So hopefully, hopefully this is all just a means to an end. I think it will be. And I know it's interesting because today, like this time,

is supposed to be a time full of perspective. You know, as long as we're healthy and doing well and we have a roof over our head and food, that we should be doing all right. But I agree with you. I found myself more irritable as well, and I take it out on Ashley sometimes and she does the same with me. But you know, that's just a relationship. And that's why you know, you put a ring on it, because even in times where you guys fight, you realize that you know, the sun will rise again and you

guys are gonna be fine. You still love each other and everything is gonna be a okay, just like this podcast. It's this podcast is going to be a plus. You want to know why, Dean, because our peak, yours and mys peak, our relationship peak is still ahead of us. Well, I was gonna say it's Tories peak, but yeah, I mean that too. Hey, I've got a question for you in your relationship. I'm sorry to sidebar here, but I do remember the talk of children coming up a couple

of weeks ago. Has that been discussed between you and actually all lately, um no, I mean nothing's changed. Yeah, we discuss it. We still wanna maybe try started having kids later this year. It's it's it's scary, man, It's just it's it's it's nerve racking about you know, uh, the idea of bringing a human in and then you know that human being is your responsibility and your responsibility only and don't f up because if you do, there

will be some serious consequences. It's scary also wonderful. Um Like, I think about my parents, you know, and her parents and giving them a grandchild, and that makes me very happy. Well for what it's worth. And I'm sure you've heard this before. I think you make your fantastic father. Well thank you, Tina, I hope so. I appreciate that. And on my side of things, I can't wait to be a godfather. Like that's gonna be a great feeling. Uh you all we all know Nick is gonna just guilt

me into making him the god I'll take. I'll take the title. That's fun uncle, even though I'm obviously not blood related. But um I, I have you talked about to Klin about the future at all? I mean, yeah, we talked about it. We don't really know what it holds. But we're we're coming up on our one year anniversary. I think in about like a month and a half will be at I'm sorry, Yeah, and a month and a half will be at our year anniversary. Like we're coming up on eleven months. For me, is a feat

in and of itself. That's a long relationship for it. For me, that's the peak of year right there. Yeah, it's not quite the peak, but it's close to the longest relationship I've ever been in. Uh, we talk about things we don't really it's so in so much uncertainty, like you said, Uh, but we're happy with where we are as a couple now and we're not in any rush to change anything, and we're just taking it one day at a time. But you know, it's constant communication

about that step to that way. There's no h blind sides. I guess if you will, do you want to be a father? Does she want to be a mom? Ah, that's a good question. I don't know. I don't really know how to answer that. I think that we both want to be parents, but we don't know what that means. If we're ready for it. Obviously we're not ready for it at the moment. Otherwise we would make an effort to be Uh. I personally don't. Although I've wanted to have kids my entire life. The older I get, seemingly

the less I want to have children for whatever reason. Uh. And so that that could change, if you know, I wake up one day and decide otherwise. But at the end of the day, it's just I would have thought if you asked, like fifteen year old Dean, how many kids I would have when I was twenty nine, I would probably say, you know, I've got like a family of three, three little kids running around. I think all of us at that age are probably pretty optimistic. We're

gonna have a lot of children. Then. Um. But yeah, the little older I get, the more and more I start to think about how I I could see a life without children, but I could also see life with children. But the look the weird thing I feel like I'm rambling here. The weird thing about I guess maybe the fortunate thing about my scenario situation is I've got an

older brother who's nine years older than I am. So he's thirty eight, Well, he's thirty seventy thirty eight this year, he's getting married, doesn't have any kids, but he still could have kids. Like I could always look at myself essentially nine years into the future and be like, Okay, cool, I've got nine years to essentially reach the same standard that my brother has reached. You know, your biological clock

isn't ticking, not even that. It's just like, you know, he's kind of maintained this uh this, what's you know, Peter pan like childlike vigor that you know, we all have his kids and he's like super playful. And I always look at him and I like, okay, cool. If he can be that way at that age, then I know that I can at least be that at that age as well, which gives me nine years to like, you know, continue to figure out exactly what I want. Yeah, no,

that makes sense. I look at my parents and I'm just very grateful, Like I I think about what I'd be able to love my kid as much as my parents have loved me, and and sacrifice as much as they sacrifice. You know what all parents do where they just you know, their their life is now all about you and that's uh, that's the ultimate sacrifice. So well, especially for us, for us too. There was a guy that I met when I was getting my stoopl license a couple of years ago who was, like, he was

a really young father. I think he had his first kid when he was like nineteen or something like that. Uh, And at the time, I was twenty seven, and he was I did it right, Like, you're you should have kids really really young, because now I'm turning forty five and my kids are already grown up and they're out of the house, and I've got like a second life again with my wife, and you know, I've got my

friends and my kids who are my friends now. So there's kind of like two sides of the story where it's like you could have kids really young and then be a young parent and then be young when they go off to college and start throw own lives. Or you could spend your youth, you know, deciding if you want to have children, and then you know, when you're in Nash's case, have children your early thirties and then I don't know, it's just there's so many right ways

to do it, you know. Yeah, you know, I agree. It's so weird sometimes how I hear people describe being a parent though, because like you said, he talked about like, oh I got it, like I got it over with kind of thing, like I was able to raise them my kids, and I love them and now I have a whole new life, and it's like, well not to be addict. Do you regret giving up that aspect of your life because now you see that you have it back?

I don't know. But then they're like, I wouldn't change a thing because I love my kids more than anything. And you only realize how much you love them when you finally, like have children. I don't know. It's interesting, but I don't know. Anyway, we have a great guest

on the podcast. We should have to break some sponsors because we've been rambling for a little while, but we have Ed brown On also known as Big D from ninety Fiance Before the ninety Days um which we were very excited to talk to him, So we're going to hear from him right after the short break Welcome back to help I suck at dating. We have a very special st on the air right now. You know him from Fiance Before the ninety Days, which is airing Sundays on t l C at eight p m. It is

Ed Brown, also known as Big Ed Big Head. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks man, peace out awesome? Are you doing glad to be here? So you're down in San Diego quarantine and how's everything going well? So, I, um, it's going pretty good. It's like, um, it's like a ghost town. I work in little Italy about fifteen minutes away, so we keep our door locked. So we're considered a what do you call it? Um? Um? What do they call him? Not necessity but essential? Essential? There you go. Yeah,

So I do intore design during the day. I do these huge design projects and I have contractors and and people I gotta order product through. So um. But it's weird because I'm next to the oldest bar in city. It's called the Waterfront. They've been they have liquor license number one and for I've been at this show room for four years and people would be seven m would be drinking champagne right and now it's closed. It's just weird. It's crazy times. We're living in my friend, well, I

mean crazy times for you specifically. How's everything going with all of the you know, fanfare, You're getting all the attention? Oh yeah, it's it's kind of crazy. Um Like I didn't realize. When I first started the film with TLC, one of the producers, we were looking for what they call my hero shot, which just kind of that that still shot they show you, and we're walking around Biboa Park and um, Harry's I'm like, Harry Man, they're filming me with drones on my vest. But everybody in seeing

Diego's gonna know who I am. And He's like, everybody in the world is gonna know who you are and everything that they they told me, Um that I didn't expect what happened has happened. So it's it's insane. I have I can't tell you. I'm like over, I'm just my I g alone. I have over thirty eight million impressions and I don't even know what that means. I was want to find on Instagram. I had trouble finding you. How do I find on Instagram? Oh this is a

big d just big head. Okay, no, no, this is big and then look from my my fat head sticker. Oh it's all right, Teddy can be annoyed. I understand. I have a very annoying voice. Um so, and you obviously got on ninety day fiance, you were talking to Rose Um. Yes, well, the show is still airing, so

you're you're still talking to Rose. But from my understanding, you started talking to Rose on social media, added her as a friend on Facebook, and then three months later you bought a ticket to go see her, which is later on the time that you got on fiance. That's correct, That's that's how it wouldn't happen. I've never heard of the show or the franchise before my daughter had and my ex wife. That's why my daughter kind of freaked out when I told her that I was thinking about

being on the show. So I bought a ticket. I posted it on Facebook and all my friends and my buddy rich Um that actually sent me the link. I filled it out. You know, fifty four year old in love with a twenty three year old with a twenty nine year old daughter, and he already bought a ticket. I mean I was. They texted me within two hours and I was on the phone with them at seven

thirty the next day. They took a look at my my social media because I've always been a nut like this thing with the stickers and the costumes that you see. I've that's been my life for you know, twenty one years. So yeah, and it's been, um and then here we are, I'm talking to you guys. This is insane, insane, but it's been. It's been a great journey for you so far. It seems like you're enjoying it. Yeah, it really has.

It really has in in a in a couple of ways. UM. The biggest surprise, UM I was I have a condition called k F, which is clippal file. So instead of having seven sort of convertebrates, I have three that are the size of two. So I have been a shorter neck, bigger rib cage, so I have limited movement. I just looked weird. I look different. So I've been teased all my life. And when UM teasers came out in January, I mean it was like what they like, no neck

ed and YadA, YadA, YadA. So all of those bad feelings I had grown up, you know, as a child, came back to kind of on me. And then I'm like, oh my god, my daughter is right. I should not have done this. So I kind of kind of crawled into a hole. You know. My publicist is like, you know, don't don't read anything online. It's just gonna, you know, piss you off. And so I didn't, and then all of a sudden, people started to um defend me and you know, saying, look how authentic is and you know,

he you know it stopped bullying him. And then I started to get letters like from from from Abe on the East Coast and from I think Michelle, South Africa, UM, England, Canada. Hey, I think I had your condition, you know, and you know we looked the same. They would send me pictures of them and they're like, look, dude, I can't even breathe some days because I'm tea so much. And I see you on National TV rubbing mayonnaise in your hair. How do you do it? So I just started a conversation.

I read their letter online. I started kind us some dialogue. And then what what I didn't expect is people are creating these little um like platforms called big d stands against bully and so I didn't expect that to um really be a result of me, you know, pretty much pretty my life out there. So that that part of it feels really really good. I'm still getting that hates. You know, you just gotta who just hate on everybody

and anything, they possibly can. That's all they do. My last my last comment was I hope big Ed gets COVID and and I just so I made a video about that. I'm like, you know, they're they're serious, but they're not serious. But they I mean, they're they're kidding but they're serious, but they're not you know, they're not serious. So you two big d roles. And I learned this a long time ago. You know, you have to learn to love yourself. Okay, you have to, and you have

to be able to laugh at yourself. And that is what has gotten me through my life. And so well, I'm sure, I'm sure it's got to be an incredible feeling to be because at this point, I would imagine are kind of like the face for KFS in a

sense too. And you're saying other people are reaching out to you saying that they they have a similar condition, and so it's gonna be amazing to be the one that's like, like, everything's gonna be fine, You're you're not alone in this plight essentially exactly exactly so, and then I stream every night just you know, and I actually talked to my fans like I actually have a conversation with them if they I go through my you know, I have about five thousand messages um in my deep

nick home d MS, and you know I'll get a lot of I'll get people with like blue check marks I want to talk to me and promote me. I'm like, uh, I go right past them. Unless it's Tori Spelling. By the way, I'm gonna be cooking line with her in about an hour. You're almost Wow, you took time out of Tori Spelling to take time with us. Hell, yeah, I didn't have a choice. No, No, I didn't know. I know. I'm like absolutely, I mean, I'm I I love it. And no, I mean and my my publicists

totally talk to you guys up. So I'm like, I'm in but no, but I love doing this. I love telling my story. I love because you know what it is is that it's it's not an act, like this is real and and I got like hose for you know, you're you know, you just went on the show to be famous and to make yourself look good. I'm like, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, what tell me one thing I did on the TV show that made myself

look good? Tell me one thing. One thing. I actually think you're sweet and authentic and very genuine and you seem like a really good dude. Uh, And I'm glad to have you on the podcast. Now let's talk. Let's talk a little bit about some of the things that you did in the show with Rose. Rose is the girl that you went to the Philippines for that you've had this long distance relationship with where obviously the ninety

day fiance thing comes in. Um. And so we saw you and Rose met at the airport for the first time after talking. So how long did you talk on social media before you actually got to meet Rose? So it was honor about three months. Four times a day. Yeah, I would, I mean, don't tell my boss, but at work normally because her three o'clock, three o'clock as her her five am, which is when she gets up, so

and then she would get Prince ready for school. So I would watch her walk Prince to to to his school and then watch her have lunch with her friends, and then and then I would talk to her kind of before I went to bed, which was usually around but yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was the best. It was the best thing about my day. I couldn't wait to talk to her in the morning, and I couldn't wait to talk to her before I went to bed. And so what made you think that

Rose was could potentially be the one? What was about that connection? Because I think a lot of people are interested, like, how does someone know their in love with someone just by talking to them either over the phone, over the computer without meeting in real life yet Yeah, yeah, so so you know what, I got married really young and got divorce. We all make mistakes, and I by the time my my daughter was kind of ready, you know,

to to go into to college. I'm like, I woke up and I'm like, oh my god, I'm forty four. It's too late. I kind of and I tried all the dating websites and I just had no success. I'm not good at bars. I mean, I'm great. My stick is I'm funny, like that's my formula, but I use my winning, winning formula when somebody tries to get close to me. Actually used that to kind of push him away. But with Rose, she was safe. She's in another country. She's like seven thousand miles away. There's no way that

I was ever gonna meet her. That's how it started so, but then but then I started talking to her every day and like, oh my god, this is a real person. And then you start, you know, developing feelings. And and I told her day one, I'm like, look, I'm old enough. I'm old enough to be your dad. Okay, you understand that? Like are you sure? And She's like, ages just the number and we kind of never I just never really

thought of her as you know, being twenty three. She is a single mom of a of a four year old boy named Prince, and I thought she had the maturity level and she's certainly captured my heart. One of the last things we saw on the show was and you and Rose had your fight because she said that she wanted kids and was honest about that up front, and then you said that you didn't want kids. Um, well,

and then you had appointments for a vasectomy. So my question is, without spoiling anything because it's still airing, Um, was Rose upfront about wanting kids pretty early on? And were you just afraid to tell her that you didn't want kids or was this something that you just found out. Yeah, it's a little bit of both. We had talked one time. She goes one day, I want a girl. We did. We made that very clear one girl, and I kind of didn't really answer it, but I knew that's what

she wanted. But then when I'm getting ready to go down there, and I mean, I'm not a rich guy live in San Diego, you know, I'm I do pretty good, but like to raise a child, and it's a lot of money, and for me, I just kind of freaked out a little bit. I didn't want to lose Rose, but I knew, as from a support standpoint, what I could afford, and I know it was it was gonna cost because I bought a rain like I was ready to bring her back on a K one visa, you know.

I mean, that's that's the plan. So at the time, I'm like, look, I'm gonna have to spend all this money, plus I'm gonna have to, you know, help prints come over. I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking like you know, we're talking a lot of a lot of money, you know, And now she wants to start she wants more kids.

So I went about it the wrong way. I'm like, Okay, maybe if I just got a vasecto me and didn't tell her, that could be my way out, which you know, it's never a good reason ever to hide anything from anybody, especially yeah, no, no, no, and you know, and that's just like well, just like asking her to take you know, the you know, in the in the beginning, I asked

her to take an STD test and um. Once my daughter and I started talking and she's like, Dad, look, I'm not trying to judge you, but you know, if you were smart, you should have got a test before you went down and said, hey, look I took a test. Because she wasn't being She wouldn't talk about her past. Ever. She wouldn't tell me anything about her past. And when I got back from the Philippines, the first thing I did as I got tested and I was clean. But

my daughter's like, Dad, you screwed that up. And then I mean, you saw you saw a couple of the other scenes. I um, I asked her to I gave her lingerie and then, um, you know, she had like, you know, bad breath. I'm like, hey, here's some toothpaste and mouthwash and it makes your breast smell pretty. I mean just I mean, my intentions were right, but the way that I went about it was just not good. So you know that I feel bad I did. I never meant to to hurt her or you know, insult

her in any way. I just you know, I just did. I just said some dumb things, you know. But y'all do I think at the other day, is it weird watching yourself back? You know, like haters aside that you get on the internet and all that kind of stuff. Do you do you enjoy at least like seeing yourself back on TV? Is it? Or is it kind of one of those things that's like weird for you? Because I know a lot of people that go through that whole thing. They see themselves on TV and they're like

like who is that person? Or they get really excited about it. How do you where do you fall on that? I'm I'm amazed because I stream at night. I'm like like it's like almost like an out of body experience. When I do live stream. People will get on, you know, with their family and their friends and there, you know, they're you know, you know, um young adults and couples and whatever, and um, they lose their mind. They freak out over me and they're like they're like, oh my god,

I'm gonna start crying. I'm like, don't, don't do that. Just I'm just big at I'm just whatever. So I don't know why they're so excited about me. I don't get it. I don't get it, Like none of my friends are that excited about me because they just deal. But but but I don't get it, Like I know, I do like you know, you know, crazy thing. I mean, I put nair on a on a on a home depot rollerbrush, and that's how I get a narrow off my back. I mean, that's how I get here off

my back. I mean I do a lot of these like crazy things. You know. Fifteen years ago, I was on a pool table, you know, dressed up as not your webray. You know, It's just this is kind of who I am. But I just it that part. I'm just trying to kind of grapple with where people are more excited about me than I ever thought possible. And I'm just I'm just on TV just you know, being who I am and just you know, showering with their dad and that that rat scene, I mean, that's was

people was pretty intense. That was for for for me. You were by a lot of livestock and a rat that looked exactly like Splinter from Teenage Mutant in the Turtles, exactly exactly. So for me, you guys, this was it was a very surreal experience, you know, the bottom line, it's like it never really happened. And then we did all the filming. This was all done back in in in um late you know, August, early September. But I

couldn't talk about it with anybody. I couldn't. You know, they're very very like strict, like you can't see anything. So when it first came out in January, like I said, I was like, you know, I didn't think. I didn't think. Like my buddy John called me today. He's in Auckland. He's quarantine on a million dollar yacht. We went to architecture school together and he's telling me, hey, hey, I saw your high school picture. I pulled up my feet

and you're on my on my on my Internet. I thought, when when I go to my computer, like your personal home computer, and you go to Google, it pulls me up because they know who I am because I'm using that computer. Well, no, apparently if you type in the words big head, it's like forever. Oh I know, but it's every picture from high school. I mean they went back and just dug. I'll never forget when my name first got released my local Providence journal because I was

born and raised Rhoe Island. Uh put a picture of me and said, uh, his name is Jared. He's twenty six and he lives in Rhode Island. If you have any information about him, please send in and was like, oh god, this is this could go bad fast, but thank god it worked out. But big head, we I wish we could talk to you more. Unfortunately, run out of time. Thank you so much for joining us. I know you're a busy man right now. You are freaking cooking with tory spelling here in a few minutes. Due,

can I tell you what we're doing? So she's like, I guess they want kid chef or whatever. So like, do you have any ideas? I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna make I want to do grilled cheese sandwiches. Okay, well how are you gonna do them? Well? I go, I'm

using an iron and iron for a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah, so I had to go buy an iron from like um from like Target today and then I'm but I'm doing I'm doing an elvis I'm doing and it's kind of like a well, I'm doing like a caprizy like an Italian with the with the buffalo cheese and the basil. And then because the single the Mayo, I'm doing cilantro tomato and Mexican jack, and then I'm with hallapeino, and then I'm gonna do a it's my elvis. It's a

It's a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich. And where can we watch this? Tune it on? It's I'm gonna be striving on tour on her life because she I only have three hundred, she has like one point five, so I know, yeah, that's it and she is um, which I'm very happy with it by the way, But so I'm gonna be streaming on her we go live at seven p MPST. All right, cool, we'll check it out.

Perfect for the listeners out there that want to get more of ED two and Rose, they can go to see Fiance before the ninety days airs Sunday nights on t l C all the way up through like June. I think, right, there's yeah, they're gonna yeah, They're yeah, it's it's a lot. I kind of tell you that

it's a lot of fun. Anywhere I go, people like they freak out and they want my picture, and it's well, we wish the best for you, big d We really wish for you, for for Rose as well, and uh, we just hope whatever happens in in your individual futures, we just wish the best for both you guys. Dude, I love you and deep piece out man, let yourself and laugh at yourself. Okay, okay, okay, bye. That guy is a character, to say the least. I wanted to ask. But he must have been from the East Coast, right,

I don't think so. I think he maybe he feels like he's from the East Coast, But who the hell knows that high, that high energy vibe about him. I like I didn't. I was like scared to talk because he was just a bulldozer that with the words and the stories. Yeah, he's he was a bull in a china shop with his vernacular. But he's hilarious. And I'll be honest, I haven't watched much, but he kind of makes me want to watch a little bit. It's good and his storyline is really good, and like a lot

of people are giving him crap for the thing. Some of the things he did that he pointed out where he gave her toothbrushing, toothpasers, you have bad breath, and and uh there's some other things to be asked her for to take an STD test, like all things. While watching, I really don't think we're ridiculous. I thought his approach needed to be changed. He could have been a little bit more delicate, especially about the STD test, Like his daughter said, that's a good idea. You take one and

then be like, hey, I take I took one. I just want to make sure we're all safe, you know. But anyway, Uh, well that was yeah, that was He was exactly what I thought he was gonna be, which I found quite endearing. But we have emails coming up, so you're not gonna want to miss out on that in case, Anonymous A. K. Nick Bile writes in, But

before then, here's a word from a sponsor. Okay, we are back with a little bit more of Sucky Dating, and we're gonna talk to you guys about some emails that she decided to take the time to email us, which we really appreciate you. You You guys want to follow us on Instagram we are at help. I suck at dating. It's a great follow Jared. You want to read the first one from the first one that emails we got, But I do kind of want to contin I want

to continue plugging the Instagram. Is that too much? So again, you just follow us. We are at help underscore, I suck at dating. Uh. There's pictures of DN on there. Uh. Sometimes I'm on there too. Uh. It's really cool. You can like us, you can follow us. Truthfully, Here's the thing. I want to get us to be the most followed I heart radio podcast Instagram, and right now we're like six seven hundred and scrubbing in is like a little

less than twenty three thousand. And I know that there are people listening to this podcast who don't follow us. So what I need you guys to do, what I need Suck Army to do, is follow us and just give me this little satisfaction of being the most followed podcast. That's all. That's all just doing for Jake anyway, All right, let's get emails. Uh. This is from Lose. I'm a

mini Giannina. I am twenty four years old and my fiance is thirty and we are from Jersey, and I find myself sometimes getting close Giannini's level of heat from the show Love Is Blind. Never do I cuss my fiance out, but I definitely get angry and I get a little cuckoo. My fiance and I are constantly working out, and of course I have never made us end things as we are getting married in June, but I definitely

would love some techniques with this department. How do you keep cool when somebody drives you so crazy or does something that really bothers you? Dean? How do you stay cool when Kaitlin does something that annoys you and while you want to address it, you can't get angry. How do I stay cool in a situation like that? I think we've talked about this before. We just talk it out. Sometimes we let it fester. You're a little too long, but then you just reach your boiling point and you're like, Hey,

what's the deal, what's going on? If you can have an open dialogue with with the person that you're talking to, I don't think that there really should anything You should ever really get that bad? What do you think? Yeah? I mean I agree, I mean Ashley, it's hard right because you want to you want to have an open dialogue.

But do you find any time in your relationship when Kalin or even you towards Kalin, you guys are being a little too honest, where like everything that's bothering you you address and then it becomes a point like how many times do almost like you're a pain in the ass? Yeah, thanks to me, I'll say things, uh, and she'll be like, She'll obviously be like, well, you're getting upset about that,

you know, And it's just like stupid little things. And I think to the earlier part of the episode when we're saying how just irritable we are in the situations that we are, Like, that's what it is. You just find like you're getting annoyed about little dumb things. I annoyed myself with stupid little things too, But yeah, I think it's just like you have to put into a perspective about how insignificant the annoying things here. I know, what do you think? Well, it's hard because Ashley. Ashley

is such a great communicator. She says everything that's on her mind. You guys know, Ashley, She's the most transparent person I've ever met. She literally can't tell a lie. But I think sometimes that bugs me because she'll say everything that bothers her, even if it's something small, and she doesn't say it in a bad way or a mean way. She's just like, hey, can you not do that? And it's like, can you just let one thing go?

Can you let one thing go? But then I come back to me and tell myself, well, this is your wife. She should tell you whatever bothers her. But at the same time, I just want, you know, maybe maybe if there's one small thing that bothers you, just don't say it. Just don't say let it go, and we'll all be happy. I go back and forth. I don't know what the right answer is. Is there a big thing that actually

doesn't bothers you? Maybe not now, but like that she had done in the past, that you expressed that you didn't like, that you can think of, Oh, I think, um man, that's actually a great question which I don't know the answer to right now. A big thing that she used to do that maybe she doesn't do anymore. Well, she has a tough time of letting things go. Man,

that's the one thing. Like we'll have a you know, we'll have a you know, a disagreement and we won't really come to a resolution because even though we articulated each other's points, like, we still are kind of like I still see I still see my argument over yours, and she just cannot let that go. She can't be like, Okay, we disagree. She just needs like for you to understand her point and not agree with her, but like make

her not feel crazy. And so that's one thing where I'm like, you gotta just hey, we came to you know, everything's fine. Now we can change the subject to move on. And she's like, no, no, no no, you're not understanding my point, Like you gotta let it go, Let it go. I think I thought of one too, and I've talked about

this like years ago on this podcast. But my biggest pet peeves, or at least one of my biggest pet peeves, is when I say something, and granted I do mumble often, so it's it's not always the other person's fault, but I'll say something and the first response, maybe even before you're done saying what you were saying, is is them responding what? And just something about the word what really just drives me up the wall, Like if you didn't hear what the person said to say, like pardon, excuse me,

like can you repeat yourself? Like there are more polite ways too to be refreshed on the things they just said. But more often than not, what is really frustrating for me is when I say something, the person responds what, And then what I've done, what I've started doing as an adult, is I just won't repeat myself, and then they'll answer the question or respond to the statement. You know, they knew it took them a while to figure out what I said, but they were using the word what

as a time folder to figure it out. Why do people do that? I do that sometimes, Yeah, I mean I do. I do as well. I'm guilty of it as well. But it's just for some reason so frustrating for me. And there are times where, like when Cayleen and I for the first, you know, ten months of our relationship, she was super, super good at it, and I don't know if maybe she was like listening more intently or if I was speaking more clearly, But I've noticed over the past month I've had to start repeating

myself a little bit more. Like we have like little irritable arguments over that which I get really frustrated by, and like, I, I know, it's so silly to me to get frustrated by, Like I I feel myself getting frustrated, and I'm like, dude, why are you getting upset about? Like just annoyed by? This doesn't make sense? Um. But then she like she sees it happening too, and so she tries to like, you know, we're both trying to

be better at it. But it's that's that's definitely the one thing that drives us to argue a little bit more often than anything else. So how do you stay cool like in that moment where you find yourself getting annoyed and you realize you're getting annoyed? How do you not just like have a little outburst. What do you do? Well? I just get quiet. If Kylen were to answer this question, she would just say that I just shut off and don't talk for however much time I need to cool down.

That's kind of what I do, is just focus on something else. I do this come back. Yeah, I wonder if that's healthy. I wonder if that's the right thing to do. It's probably not. We're probably gonna like spontaneously combusts someday. I think, oh, well, well at least one hell of a story. Well, we hope that, we hope that that that non answer helped our listener out there. Do we say it was lose, was lose or less? I'm sorry, I think yeah. Anyways, that'll do it for

this week's episode. I know that we wish we could answer more emails, but we'll save a couple more for next week as well. Thank you to Ed Brown of course for calling in and being a guest with us, Jared as always, and Tori of course. Thanks you guys for listening, and we will be sure to see you next week, where maybe we will suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast