Baby Daddy

you have a smile that lights up a room. Vanessa has a smile that lights up a room. Every time she hosted a podcast, every time she was here, every time I interacted with her, she was nothing but warm and sweet and uh. I definitely miss her energy on a weekly basis. But I want to say congratulations. She married her beautiful now husband, josh Um the the Gray Wolf, Silver Wolf, very very handsome men. So they are a beautiful husband and wife. And um, I haven't seen any

pictures from the wedding. I know it is a pretty small intimate ceremony, and I'm excited to see them on their wedding day. And I wish them nothing but the best and a lifetime of happiness. And I hope they grow their family soon because I know that Vanessa is going to be an incredible mother, and I just I just I'm really happy for and I'm happy for Josh, and I'm happy they found each other, and so I wish them the best. Ashley and I are sending them

are love hell. I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I heart radio podcast. What is going on? Everyone? Welcome to help. I Suck at Dating. This is Dean Ungler joined in studio Across the World by Jared Haven. Jared Um. I was told that you were gonna be recording from a car, But it looks like you're not in a car. What's the deal. So we were at a doctor's appointment. I thought it was gonna be running late, but we got out of there just in time. Uh.

So we had our third doctor's appointment. I got to see an ultrasound once again, and the baby is doing well. Everything is healthy. We had a blood test drawn today. We don't get the results for a little while, uh to see if the child has any health complications with spina bifia. So hopefully those come back normal, and hopefully everything is healthy. Everything is looking good. The sonogram, man,

it's it's crazy. I honestly, for the first time I felt really connected to the kid because it's starting to look real. It's starting to look real. Sorry, of course, the phone of the ring when I'm going into this moment, I hope the landline. Oh, it's a landline. I'm at my in laws right now. You don't think my in laws have a landline that gets called nine times a day. I don't think I've heard a landline phone ring in over a decade. It's been a while for me too.

Every time the phone rings, it's quite jarring. I'm like, what is this obscure sound I'm hearing in the background. Nope, it's just the phone ringing. But anyway, let's see if it ends. Do you want to how many you want to answer it live on air? I should huh. I don't want to move the mic because I'm gonna understand up. Ashley's coming in now. Just this is such part for the course of help. I second dating. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. How many rings does that landline have?

It goes for like twelve times. Yeah, can you get a voicemail? You know, remember the old days where you would hear your voicemail played like you would the phone would ring and then it would directly go to voicemail and then you could hear your voicemail. Those are the days, man, I do remember those days. Hey, So okay, So beyond all of those things that you're saying, this appointment was there was there any other big news shared at the appointment. Oh,

that news is already shared. We know the sex of the baby. We've I'm not sure if I've I've told you that, are told people on Instagram that, but yeah, we know we found out the sex. We had a little moment between Ashley and I. This was like two

weeks ago. Now. We were in Rhode Island and uh, we drove to the place that we're looking to build our home and it's by the water, so we had like we sat on these docks and uh it was actually quite awkward because there was a guy on the boat just staring at us because we definitely were not allowed on those docks. But uh, it got sent in an email form, which is so where we found out the sex of our baby via email. Very anticlimactic, but still,

you know, technology is crazy these days. So we had a moment and uh we sat down with Lois and opened the email and found out the sex of our kid, which is pretty crazy. Now it's much more real and what is that, uh gender the kid? Well, we're just trying to we're trying to figure out how to tell

people on social media. To you, we told our families, Um, so they you're trying to figure out how you can make a quick buck on social media by sharing it and possibly we'll say, but it's it's crazy, man, it's exciting. And uh, the you know, the ultrasound was pretty It was the first time that I felt, like, I said, really connected to our baby. And uh I I didn't cry, but I could definitely feel myself overwhelmed with emotion, which made me really happy because that was the first time

that's really happened. I I felt more emotional seeing the ultrasound of our baby today, more so than when I found out we were pregnant. Um. And I think it's just becoming more and more real seeing you know, literally so that the baby was like moving around, you know, and you know, the legs kicking and and you could see hands and the head and you could see the

mouth moving. It was it was pretty surreal. And then you know you're watching all this while simultaneously hearing you know, you're child's heartbeat, and um it was cool, man, it was really cool. Would you be would you be equally as excited, more or less excited if it was a baby of the opposite sex of whatever the baby's sex is, I would be equal. I'm very indifferent about the sex of our baby. Ashley has made it known that she would, uh say, you know, she'd love either a boy or

a girl, but she would prefer a girl. I'm very indifferent. Um, so as long as the baby is healthy, I've always wanted a boy and a girl. Um, So, I don't think i'd be you know, I don't think my emotion would change at all. Something this to say, this is not the last time you guys will be getting an ultrasound together for obviously you're gonna get more with this kid. Yeah, definitely, not for this pregnancy. Yeah yeah, But I'm saying you

guys are definitely have more kids after this, I hope. So. I mean, the problem is Ashley is still having a pretty bad pregnancy up to this point where she's sick constantly. Did she threw up? She had macaroni and cheese yesterday like one o'clock in the afternoon because she was really hungry. Dude, five minutes later, she puked it all back up. It was disgusting. This might sound really ignorant of me, but I kind of would like dig being pregnant for nine months.

You know, you can kind of get away with just about anything you want. You can eat anything you want, you can like far and puke wherever you want. Like, you get a lot of liberties for being a pregnant lady or you know, walking around the house. Yeah, but I also feel like you just explained like liberties of a of a guy, the things that we I feel like you and I as a guy, we can kind of far anywhere we could be disgusting and it's socially acceptable.

I guess the only thing I can really compare it to is you know when you get like really sick or something like you have a flu, and it just like kind of knocks you on your butt. It's so nice to like just have an excuse to lay in bed all day and watch movies and eat crap. Because it's like, I'm sick, so I'm just gonna do this until I feel better. I guess pregnancy. I just would imagine be like that on steroids and for nine months instead of five days. I find myself eating worse because

she's eating way worse. So when she sends me to McDonald's because she's craving a cheeseburger, like, wholl, I might as well get the big macmeal, you know. I mean, I'm here and so. But the problem is like one day it's McDonald's, the next day it's Taco Bell, and then we're making McCarney cheese at home, and I haven't had greens and eight days and like, oh god, I'm I am just not in the best shape of my life.

She's gonna lose ten pounds in one day, and you're gonna take a year to get the ten pounds that you're gonna gain off a thousand percent um. But everything is good. I appreciate you asking um, and uh yeah, I want you to share the sex of the baby right now. That's the reason I'm asking Jared, what is the sex of the baby? Three to one? Say it? I can't, did you say it? I didn't. Unfortunately. Where are you right now in the world. I'm somewhere in Utah.

So are you driving? Are you? Are you with Kalin? What are you doing? Yeah? I'm driving, driving around for a nice hike this morning for sunrise. Saw a nice natural hot spring up in the mountains here in Utah. I am uh oh. I fly back to l A today and then I fly back to utap tomorrow, and then I'm driving to Montana to uh hang out with my brother for a week before we go to New York for a couple of days. So when you fly out to l A, will you just leave your van

in a safe spot? I hope. I'm just gonna park it at the airport and come back for it because it's only gonna be like a day, I think. So that makes sense. But then, so Caitlin and I are flying to New York. She really wants to go to the US Open. So we're gonna go see the US Open in New York next week or a week and a half or whatever it is. And then that'll be cool for you too. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big tennis fan, but I'll gladly go there to support

her interests. Um, and then from there we're gonna fly to Greece and then go to Italy for like a week and a half or two weeks. So that'll be like our first well it'll be my first time in Europe in a long time, obviously because of COVID, But it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. I know Italy like might kind shut down again, so I'm a little skeptical of the trip. But um, yeah, you're getting hit pretty hard with this Delta Barrea right now,

which sucks. But hopefully you guys are still a bit to go and stay safe and do Greece. Oh my god, I'm so jealous if you guys are able to go to Greece. We I dream of Santorini. Yeah, that's where we're going. I just feel a little guilty, like I know that COVID, Like it's just the fact that there's like so many cases coming up again, and like, yeah, we're vaccinated, but it's just I still feel like a little bit of guilt traveling to Europe at the moment.

I don't think you should at all. I mean a lot of these places, I mean, especially places like Greece or even Italy to a certain extent, A lot of the you know, tourism is the one that brings in money. I mean, it's you know, one day we're all gonna die. So like they don't feel guilty about taking a week and a half vacation with your girlfriend. Yeah, no, I know you're right, but I just can't help it a little bit. But yeah, that's that's kinda what what we're doing.

So nothing nothing. Oh yeah, you might have to this podcast on your own, by the way, next week. I don't know if I told you that. Yeah, I don't think I feel anyone that yet, but we'll see. Okay, Well that sucks because you're the true talent behind this. I just kind of the entire time, we all know it's true. Well, let's get into a couple of hot

topics before we move into our guest um. This is from the New York Post headline frisky couple spotted having naked morning sex on cliff during lockdown, Dean, we all know this was you and Kalen. They took quote sex on the beach to New Heights in Australian couple are going viral after they're spotty getting frisky on a cliff during lockdown. Quote just don't just thought it was a

little levity given the times and the new restrictions. Photographed Scott Robinson told the news, Uh, he was the one who took these picks. Uh. He took them from the water while swimming. Uh sees quote he says, see lots of wildlife, but never hear up on the cliffs. So the resulting pick, First of all, is this legal? Can you like take pictures of people having sex publicly? I was gonna say that's kind of messed up. I would

be piste off. I was the couple. I mean granted, like, yeah, you're having sex outside, so it's like you kind of get what's coming to you. But like, who just takes a picture of people banging and then go ahead, goes ahead and like publishes it to the news outlets. It's kind of weird. That's pretty great, So it goes on.

The resulting pick, which Robinson posted in the private Facebook group, shows the buck naked couple going at it halfway up a coastal cliff, right under the noses of obvious sightseers standing atop the bluff. These people are insane and the incompany caption the photo jokingly pondered whether they're sextra circular activities were considered quote outdoor recreation or outdoor exercise. Wow, he's a real he's a real jokes or that one

should be a stand up comedian. The photographer also referenced Australia's renewed lockdown restrictions would stipulate that New South Wales residents cannot leave their government areas except to exercise or engage in other essential active at ease. I mean this is kind of essential. I think sex is essential, you know what I mean? Alright, quick, nice quick sidebar? Is

it buck naked or butt naked? Okay? I was thought it was butt naked, but in the article it is spelled b u c k dash naked, So maybe that's like an Australian thing. Yeah, I was thinking, I don't know, because you know, maybe bucks like a like a you know, like a buck, because they're naked. Why not? Why wouldn't it be like moose naked or something? I don't know. I'm currently drinking coffee out of a monkey cup, so why would it be mucky naked? Their monkey? There? You

know they're naked too. That's a good point. Jared where is Speaking of buck naked, where was the weirdest place that you and Ashley have ever been buck naked together? Uh? The weirdest, like the most bizarre, the most out of the Um. Oh, that's a great question. I feel like you probably have a better answer than me. Uh, yeah, we haven't. Really we never did it in a public place. Um.

I guess, man, I'm so lame. Probably just in the living room, you know, so in the apartment, but you know, getting frisky in the in the non bedroom environment, and you know, we we stayed down in the living room and you know, did some things and had a good time. And now I tell the tale and help I suck a dating. Is that where baby Haven was conceived? No, baby Haven was conceived, Actually baby Haven was conceived. I don't even know if I should say this. Yeah, come on,

say it in her parents house, in her parents bedroom. No, God, that would be I don't think I'd ever be able to look at our kid h the same way. Again, if that happened it was down in the guest room. It would have been cool if it was their bedroom, because then it would be like Ashley was conceived there. And now you guys, kid is conceived there. Yeah, no, that's disgusting. Where's the weirdest place you and Kaylin have ever been frisky? Whoa dude? That's a really personal question.

Who brought this guy? I don't know. We're pretty we're kind of in the same thing as you guys, probably somewhere in the living room. I gotta admit I feel if if people had to pull, like if we pulled all of suck Army and said, who do you think is more adventurous in their sex life Dean and Caitlin or Ashley and Jared, I feel like you guys would win in a landslide. Yeah. Maybe we just give off

that vibe. I don't know. I feel like all like all that, all the oddities and like the weirdness when it comes to like fun locations when you're doing it like that, I feel like that's just like something you do as a kid, you know, like up until you're like I think you just kind of grow out of it at some point, yeah, because then you start pulling hamstrings and your back gets tight and you're like, this is just so stupid. What are we doing. Let's go

in the bedroom. We can have much more flexibility in there. I would say, I'm assuming that the weirdest or most obscure place that you guys have ever, you know, mm hmm would be the van. Oh yeah, yeah, that's probably not wrong. Again, I just yeah, I guess, do you ever? I mean whatever, we're open books, but like just it kind of feels a little weird talking about this. This whole thing is weird talking about it. I just like I could see a kid Carrie Kaylin getting upset, but like,

you know, she's a Christian woman, she's pure. I mean, we don't have to go into details here. It's just like, yeah, you know, maybe you guys have had overnight dates in the in the van. We moved together. We lived together for like two years, so I guess it's bound that we're bound to touch each other's privates at least a little bit at some Yeah, the the van would probably be the weird spot. Um there, maybe it's like another weird one, but I can't seem to think of it

right now. But in my entire life, I don't know, Like I said, I I used did it. Maybe I did weird things when I was like a kid, like a teenager, but I haven't done anything anything it's overly weird in a long time. One time I got a black eye, uh from you know, doing the damn thing as they say. I thought we were being We were down in a basement and there were pipes and like exposed edges of tables, and we thought it was a good idea, and then i'd like leaned down for something.

I forget why, but I hit my heart my eye so hard on a pipe and my eye immediately blew up and it was all bloodshot. Dude. It was bloodshot and black and blue for a week afterwards, and I had to explain to people what the hell happened to me, and they were like, what happened to you? And my just I just I walked into a pole. It's a long story, so pathetic, of course, Like as soon as I tried something adventurous, it just goes downhill. I think I've shared this already on this podcast, but I can't

remember it. There was a weird phase I was in in college where I wanted people to punch me in the face and so, like, I had a crush on this girl, what do you Brad Pitt from Fight Club? I guess maybe I had just seen the movie and I was inspired. I like had the crush on this girl. She's really pretty begun on a you dates. And then we were all like this house party together and I was like, just punched me in the face as hard as you can, and she was like, no, that's weird,

and I was like do it. And then and then eventually she started just like punching me in the face and I was like, yeah, I don't know, it was really weird. Did this escalate into a frisky situation? Like is there a good ending to this story? Or did

she just punch you in the face. We were like in the middle of a house party and she was like she was like laying on top, like I was like laying flat on my back on the ground, and she was like straddling me like a fully clothed like not sexual at all, and I was just like punched me in the face. And it was really weird. And then I woke up the next morning and I had this really bad black eye and I was like, Okay, as far as anyone is concerned, that doesn't know how

I got this. I got like a six street fight with a big guy. He kicked his butt, but he got one lucky punch in so yeah, you should see. Yeah. I wouldn't say those are my proudest moments, but it was, you know, it was, it happened, So it's it's part of what makes me me, I guess, and I know in reality Dean woke up and was like, I'm never drinking again. Um. Yeah. We do have a great couple

of guests coming up from Shaws of on Set. We have Mike show It and Paulina ben Cohen, which, of course, uh, Shaw's of Sunset airs on Bravo Sunday nights, eight pm. It's in its ninth season. Uh. And they're gonna be coming up on the podcast right after this quick break. Welcome back to help I suck at dating Dean myself, and we have some very special guests from Shaws of Sunset, which of course airs on Bravo Sunday nights at eight p m. In its ninth season. It is Mike show

It and Paulina ben Cohen. How are you guys, Thanks for coming on the podcast, Thanks for having us, Oh my god. Of course. So, like I said, it's going into its ninth season, Shaw's of Sunset. Uh, it's a crazy successful show. Mike, Uh, you know when you first were on the show, did you ever think it was gonna turn into this? Not a chance? Like they gave a six episode season one. We filmed the teaser in a friend's backyard. I think it's gonna be a fun run.

I'll have some some little bit of fame, and man, it was incredible to see what it blew up into becoming like, uh yeah the show. The show aired, and Bravo was just in shock, like wow, we found the next big thing. Over a million and a half people tuned into the show. They were super excited, and before the sea the season was even over, they were asking us about a season two. What do you think it is about the show that makes it so successful? Or

has made it so successful? America lacks culture, right because what you used to see on TV was just sitcom's right, and and if there was reality TV, it was like Survivor and that kind of stuff. Right. So, um, when we came on, we opened the door to our culture that people knew very little little about. Right. They saw things on the news because of the Iran war or what they would hear about these you know, these these mola's um and then here we are showing a different

side where we party. We you know, we're just like the next guy. We want to have a good time the next girl. We want to eat and drink and party, and we short people our culture on music or language, our food, and most importantly our friendship. You know, it was based around a group of real friends who have grown up together and you get to see our trials and tribulations and people really like that kind of stuff. So, Paulina, you're coming into it now, how has your experience been

thus far? Uh, you know, being on Shaw as the sunset, it's been really nice. Yeah, well there we go short, but to the point like, um, honestly, it's a bit overwhelming. Um, it's a lot. It's a lot of drama, and it's very hard to come into a group of friends who are so you know, they're tight and united and super involved in each other's business, very much so to the point where I I can't even imagine. Um, it's literally

like in high school. That's like how you're so involved with um, you know, and like your friends relationships and stuff like that. Like that's literally how it should be in high school. But yet they are a bunch of you know, forty five year old, and yet it's as if we're in high school. Oliver, do you feel a little bit like an outsider? Um? Yeah, they're definitely not

my cup of tea. Well, it's you know, a lot of I feel like relationships go through that where a girl or you know, boyfriend or girlfriend or people will start dating and then you enter into their friend group, their family, and it just feels like sometimes you're kind of the the out, you're on the outside looking in, and I feel like so many people go through that. Um,

how have you been able to navigate that? To try to insert yourself into this new group of people that are so close with the you know, the guy that you're dating. Um. At the beginning, it was a lot easier. They were very welcoming and very friendly and loving. Um. I think this season, you know, it took a turn. Um. Some people were very actually say they were there for me. Um.

Others were not. Um, it's tough, right. So it's really like you guys said, like you alluded to, you come into a group, whether your boyfriend or a girlfriend, and there's a there's a click already. I'm so sorry. Let me Oh, you're fine, you know, it's funny. That's the second land line that has rung during this podcast because I'm currently I'm my in law's house and as soon as we started the podcast, their phone is ringing. And then Dean said he hasn't heard of landline in probably

fifteen years because our gate. So you know, I hear you. My girl here is addicted to Postmates, Amazon, you name it. You know we have thirty five package is a day at the door, So I hear you there. It's wild man um. Just like just like you guys are alluding to, anytime you come into a group of friends as as as the partner or boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, those people already want to not like you because they are so protective of their friend, right, like, oh, what does Mikey want?

You know, who what is he all about? Is he trying to use her or whatnot? So my friends, because we're so tight, also felt the same way, right, So they're very protective of me. But it's like overboard sometimes. So when she's saying it's like high school, it's like grown adults. If I don't bring my partner to a party, there's no reason to be interrogated why she's not there. Right. We all go through trials and relations we all have fights and you know, to spotlight that is just is

not right. Right, you stepped out, you know what I mean? Yeah, most definitely. Can you guys share a little bit more about how you guys met each other? UM. So I had a friend in Las Vegas that that that UM I was very close with back when I lived there. UM, and he's we stayed in contact when I moved back to California. He knew about my divorce. UM, I knew that I was single and dating. He's like, man, you need to find yourself a nice Persian Jewish girls. So

you can try that and and and see. Because I had all these preconceived thoughts of what a Persian Jewish girl was like. UM, and uh, He's like, you know, she's really hot, you'll love her. And I was like, okay, cool, you know, have some fun with her. And UM it was definitely. I never thought that it would lead to to where we are now in our relationship. UM. We gave it a shot. We went on the first date and I fell in love with her. I was married

from from the second I met her. UM. We talked in the phone for a couple of weeks, I got to know each other, uh, exchange pictures, um. And she has a beautiful voice, very sexy voice, and she was very complimenting of me, and I was very complimenting of her. I kind of wanted to get to know her before UM I took out on a date because typically my dates were go out, we hook up, and we probably will talk again, or we might just to hook up again. And with her because she's Persian and Jewish, I wanted

to give her a little more respect. UM. So I'm like, let's go to sushi our first date. And on the way to the sushi spot, it's like, you know what I'm really in the mood for, And I'm thinking to myself, you know, dirty thoughts, like what you know, excited. She's like Taco Bill. So what she was, Yeah, let's go have Taco Bell. Yeah, talk about the best. But on the first date in l A, well, I was that's very rare, and she didn't want to tell me she's vegan.

Uh yeah. So we go to Taco Bell and I'm like, all right, I'm a big baller a Taco Bell, so order everything on the menu and I had, um, can I get one double decker, No me, and we sat down and like, um, you know you want to try another stuff? She goes, no, I'm vegan, and we started talking. She nibbled down her little taco while I just scarfed down all this taco bell and we sat there for like three hours. I think. Yeah, it was wild man um to the point where the security guard came over.

It was like, you guys are having a lot of fun, huh, Like like you know, you're a taco bell right, Like that's what he was trying to insinuate. I was like yeah, And we snapped out of that trance because we just were so focused on each other and three years later were so together. It's yeah, I know you guys are about to close Taco Bell down. That's pretty awesome. And Paulina,

I know that you have two beautiful children. Um. And a lot of people ask us when they should tell, you know, if they're if they're single mom or single dad, when they go on dates, when should they bring up kids? You know, when should that conversation happen? Because some people are a little hesitant to bring it up early because they don't want to scare someone away, but also they want to be real and authentic and be true to themselves. So how do you How did you navigate that? I

would say, right off the bat, you should mention it. Um. I'm just I'm like that, I'm very straightforward. Um, right off the bat, I told I told Mike I have two kids. Um. It's funny. When I first sent him a picture with me and my it was me and my son at the time, he thought it's like my niece or something, or my nephew. Um. So the first feature he said was you and and and in Yes, you're right, I'm sorry you guys want you guys were

kissing each other. Yes, how cute. That's your niece. Yeah, and I'm like no. I was like, okay, cool, you have you have a daughter? How? She goes, well, no, I have two kids, Like oh no way. Then the next picture came and it was with don and her daughter. I was like, oh, damn, okay, Um, I guess we're just gonna have some fun and you know, we'll just

you know, call it that. I think it's it's better to be straightforward if someone's gonna get scared and that's not a person for you, but like it, it sounds like you you weren't scared necessarily, but you were still a little taken aback by it. But you were obviously at the end of the day totally okay with everything. You know. At the time, it wasn't the ideal situation, you know, because I was young guy, just got out

of a divorce. I wanted to have fun. I really didn't want to take on more responsible than I needed to, and I really didn't think much of it. I was like, Okay, you know, she just got out of the divorce. I just got out of one. We're just gonna have a good time and we'll see where it goes. Um Realistically, that's not an ideal situation for anyone, right, It's hard, you know what I mean. It's like, oh, you have kids. Great.

You know, it's just unless the unless both of you had children and you come together like the Brady Bunch, then it makes right sometimes. But but you know, after our first day, I was like, whatever, Okay, she has kids, we'll figure it out. Because again, you know, I didn't even understand the responsibilities that it's gonna take to to help raise two kids. They were five and two, so there were baby babies, you know, like, um, so I didn't meet Mason for for several months. Um, and I

met Meila. She was only two, so she's like, okay, you know, she's not gonna remember much of it to Wolf and we all went and had lunch. And I remember before I got there, I stopped to get her a toy because I wanted to make a good impression. So I got her a bubble toy. But but I'm stupid because I didn't realize how big this freaking bubble toy was. And she had a little hand. She's trying to like hold this bubble bubble. But you know, just she had she loved it because it was like Dumbo

or something. I don't remember. It was like was it a unicorn? So it was it was cute and I want Brownie points with Paulina and with Mila, and she did at CPK in Hollywood. Well, so now that you guys have been together three years, is there any talks of you guys having your own kids? Yes? Yes, um, yeah, yeah.

We went to a fertility doctor just to make sure that that I can have children, that she can have children, that everything's okay because I'm getting a little bit older and forty two, right, Um, and everything's working fine, and you know, the doctor said that you guys are good to go, and you must just have sexual What do you say. She's the funniest thing. You didn't say have sex. He's like, to have sexual encounters. Wow, you just made

that sound. So it's amazing how when people try to make something sound more elegant or sophisticated, it just sounds so much worse. So it just tells to have sex. That's it. You must have sexual encounters. I'm like, whoa, all right? And then you know you have three days when a woman's ovulating and it's just like it's you're working under pressure for trust me, man, I just it through it. My wife is fifteen weeks pregnant and uh,

thank you very much. And uh, oh my god. So we tried for seven months man, and like the pressure is just like oh yeah, it's like okay, we gotta have sex right now, like three times today, two times tomorrow. And I'm like, oh god, I'm not a young man anymore. This is not as fun as it used to be. And you just you gotta perform, you know, and it's

like it's it's hard, it's hard. Oh, there'll be nights where it was like, yeah, you're just like Okay, we gotta like keep going because I'm having a mental block right now. We're with you, dude. It's it's it's it's it's hard. Yeah, that's a lot of sexual encounters guys, but you have to perform, right, It's not just you know, just just sex. You gotta yeah, you want to like,

you know, enjoy it. Uh. Well, obviously this podcast is called help I suck at dating, So I have to ask you, Pauline Mike, who sucks at dating more a thousand percent me here? Really, I thought you were going to say, I'm surprised to hear that. Oh no, no, no, no no, I'm really good at dating. I'm just really bad at relationships, right, yeah, And you know exactly what to say. Yeah, you're very very to are very good looking guys. You know, you understand I'm ugly, so I

have to have a game, you know. Yeah, you're not handsome at all. My game was on point, you know. So thres a taco bill, you know what I mean? It was, And you're very charming, so I try to be and I was a show off. I bought you every taco on Burrito Taco. Hey, Mike, if I look, if I look half as good as you when I'm forty two, I'll be very happy. You really better? How do you I'm thirty? Oh wow, young dude? Enjoy it? Yeah, I mean, Jared, what are you? Thirty two? Yeah, going

on thirty three? Get up there? Um well, Mike, Uh, thank you so much, Paulina, thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate it. Everybody who's listening right now, of course please go watch I'm sure you already do because it's in its ninth season. Uh Shaws of Sunset, which of course is on Bravo Sunday at eight pm. Um, thank you so much guys for coming on the podcast. We really appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, thanks guys. Thanks quick

and easy. I thought we do it here and help my second All right, everybody, welcome back to help I suck at dating. Mark is here with us. He is going to hopefully read us some emails and we'll see if we can't answer them. For you, guys, they are both anonymous, suspicious perhaps or just nick? Could it be? This one's a quickie. I joined Hinge and I have going out on one date with one guy. Is it appropriate to ask if he's going out with anyone else on the second date? Or is that too soon? Way

too soon? What? It's a thousand percent appropriate. You should ask you whenever, you ask right away if you want. I mean, I guess it's fine to ask, but don't don't have expectations of him saying he hasn't he's not going on dates with any other people after one day? Right, right right? I'm saying you could ask for the sake of information, but don't be like, oh well, I don't think you should go on dates with anyone else. I

think it's dangerous. I think it might send him heading for z Hills because he's gonna think you want more of a commitment from him than he's willing to give, even just by asking the question. I agree, let's do this. Then she should preface it by saying, Hey, I haven't been doing this very long. I'm kind of new to the game. You're the first person I've gone on a date with. Are you dating other people? Like? Essentially being like, should I be dating other people? From this APPI I

think give a break. You can go on other dates with people unless you let's put a number on this I say after if you go on a third date with someone and it's been three good dates, then you can start inquire airing into if they're going on days with other people because you've been on one days. I say after the third date, because you're go on. You go on a first day and you feel things out,

and then you're like, Okay, that went well. I want to go on a second day to see if it goes as well the second time, and then you go on another day, and then if it goes well enough for a third day and you go on the third day after that, I think you can really because we always say in this podcast you're gonna go on three days with one person in order to really know if that's the person you want to pursue or not. Because for example, my sister went on three dates with now

you know her husband. First day went really well, second date not as good, and she was hesitant to go on a third date, went on a third date, went splendidly, and now they're married. So I would say three dates and after the third date you can start asking like, hey, are you seeing other people? Are you going on dates with other people? Because then it's getting serious Okay, I don't think we've ever said what we say on this podcast all the time. I don't think we've ever said

that on this podcast. First and foremost, I just wanted to leave with that. We definitely have. It's been a while, but we have kind of all all my short term memory losses. It's pretty bad these days. But second of all, I don't think it's so binary. I think you just gotta, like, if you're feeling it, just do it. You know. It's not like after an X amount of dates, ask this question. It's just like, if you're curious, ask the question. There's

no harm in it. And you can even say something along the lines of like, I don't care if you're dating other people. I just like I want to know this. I think that's totally legitimate. But just by asking the question, I think shows that you care. Okay, But then let's

also say this. Let's say she's she's got some growing pains with this new app dating culture thing, so like, let her work out the growing pains, and like, you know, she's gonna have to figure out what works and what doesn't work, and maybe by asking the question she can gauge the response and then decide whether it's appropriate to ask that question. That's soon into dating someone, Dean, that's what you and I are for. Okay, Anonymous emails us so that they can really find out more about the

dating game today, because we're so knowledgeable obviously. But if if Anonymous asked this, this guy that you went on a day with, maybe he liked to Mark said, he gets a little freaked out. True. I just I just am a big advocate for speaking your mind. So if that's what you're thinking at the moment, go ahead and say it. What's this? What's that evil smirk for? Over there? Jared? Oh, I know I agree with you. I mean, I well, I don't agree with you, but I think it's time

to move on to the second email? Was that evil? Sure? Sure? Okay? So I mean Anonymous you got zero ground there because you had one of us staying one thing, one of us say any other thing. Mark has yet to weigh in, so I guess you could be the tiebreaker here. No, I'm with Jared. I think you wait a least three days, and maybe it's not a number of dates. Maybe it's an escalation of physicality. Can we bring another? Can we

bring someone else? And then Easton, can you maybe agree with me instead of agreeing with Jared, Hannah, Riley, anyone anyone that's on my team, anyone against me, don't chime in, but anyone that's on my I agree with you. Dean. I'm he's just being Easton. That's two to two, all right. Riley, you're the last one. You're the tiebreaker. What you got for us? Riley's not on. It's Hannah and Kendall. Wanna as already posted in the chat that she has not

joining this conversation probations. No, that's fine, that's that's fine. He's a little sick. I think you can't speak. I think she agrees with shared, but Kendall candles get away in. Kendall says, I agree. I'll speak your mind. Speak your mind as a first game, all right. This is also Anonymous, also new to the dating game. She says, I was married for fifteen years, just recently started dabbling back in

the dating scene. I'm forty, a super busy mom and career woman, so I don't have a ton of free time. I recently started dating someone new, and due to both of our busy schedules, we really only get to see each other maybe once a week. In the meantime, I want to keep in touch, and I know how important communication is, so I try to text him. He's not a great text her. He never texts me first, and

he sometimes won't text me back for hours. I worry that maybe he's just not that into me, because I feel like if you were, he would make the time to reach out or tell me that he's thinking about me. Am I overthinking this a thousand percent? No, I do not think you are overthinking this. Anonymous, you're forty. I'm assuming this gentleman is probably around your age. Uh. You are a busy mom, you are a career woman. You're raising your children. You were married for fifteen years, and

now you're getting back into the dating game. The last thing you want, the last thing you need, is some guy trying to play the game, so to speak. And so if he's not texting you first, he's taking hours to respond. As you said, communication is the most important part of a relationship, and if he's not willing to put the time in to communicate with you, I don't think you're overthinking. I think this guy might suck. Mm

hmmm interesting. Interesting. Take quick quick tangent, quick tangent. I want to get I want to gage your guys opinion on this. It's it's kind of relevant, but not necessarily to answer the question. Um, I'm not afraid of many things, you know, like I I don't. I don't have any fears.

But I will say one thing that I've kind of been thinking about more recently than I think is a fear of mine is, let's say, you know, God forbid in twenty years, Caitlin and I just decided to break up right all of a sudden, I'm fifty and single. I think that is the most terrible you know. I know Anonymous is doing great over there, but being fifty and single, freshly single, seems like it would be really awful. Do you guys have that fear as well? At all?

Am I alone in that oh thousand percent? I'm I'm almost thirty three, and I think I'm too old for the game. Like, let alone, something happening in fifteen years, it would be very nerve racking, to say the least. Okay, cool, I'm glad. I'm glad that we all kind of feel the same way that Mark. I know you're already you know, I know that fifties in your rear view mirror at

this point, but I still appreciate you having an input there. Um, I would say that with the nonymous being a bit older, with anonymous being a bit older, UM, I just think I think it's a generational thing where it's like guys and women of a certain age are just less tech savvy. Like you know, teenagers and early twenty year olds are glued to their cell phones all the time. So if they're not texting back right away, big issue because their

phone is always in their hand. But like older gentlemen older women, I feel like they there may be less inclined to have technology be such a big part of their day to day life. So I don't think it's that big of a red flag. I guess I'm going off the assumption that he's also not calling her, you know, So if it is a generational thing, I would imagine he would try to call her sometimes and just let him let her know. You know, hey, what do you

want to try to get together? Especially when you get older, as we can all attest to, your schedules start becoming busier, your free time becomes less and less. You really have to plan out things, and so it seems like anonymous over here is reaching out to say, hey, let's what's what are you doing next Thursday? Or what are you doing Saturday? Whatever, And it doesn't seem like this guy is doing it now. Granted, I'm making a leap there because I'm assuming this, but you know, there's only so

much information we can go off of. What do you guys think, Mark, It's funny. It's funny when you mentioned that that being in the fear of being fifth dan single. When you brought that up, it didn't even occur to me that I'm already fifty and there's no danger of me being already passed never even entered my head. That's kind of a weird thing about being freshly fifty. Anyway, I agree with dean Um speaking for the generation extras out there. I have a lot of friends my age

who are terrible texters. They will take days to get back to you and may never get back to you. They just they're not good at it. And so I think, unless this guy is always on Instagram and Facebook and all this stuff, I'm guessing he's not. I think it's probably fine, and you're maybe looking for problems that aren't really there. I think, just take it easy and relax, and I think it's gonna be okay. Well, let me ask you this, Mark, because you say, I'm assuming the

guys that you're talking about are your friends, right? Yeah? Okay? Do you text your wife differently than you text your friends? For example, if your wife reached out, would you respond quicker than if a friend reached out. Yes, that's my point. I think that if she's reaching out and he's not responding, then maybe he isn't as into her as she's hoping. Interesting. I think I'm a good texture though, but I think a lot of these guys are just a little bit

intimidated by this phone in their pocket. It's kind of a weird thing. I think, unless there are other problems that I think everything is okay. But I mean you make a point, Jared, for sure Eastern with your take on this, I feel like you've got something I'm good in put here. I think, even with technology barriers, I think that if someone's into they will send a carrier pigeon to get in touch with you, like, they will

do whatever they can do. So I would be concerned, but also come on a newly single like just just live it. I don't know, try to get out of your head. I know it's a hard thing to do, but um, I don't know. I think that's great advice you. No, I agree, Anonymous, you know, I I don't know. You shouldn't overthink it because you are newly single and don't put too much stress on finding a relationship that quickly. I agree with Eastern, but I do agree. Like you're

newly single, you're forty, you're smoking hot. Like play the field a little bit, you know, go on go on a day to day for a couple of weeks. Maybe just get him lined up, figure it all out. Remember that woman that went on a hundred dates, Uh, not a hundred days, but like a hundred she went on a hundred dates. So maybe Anonymous, Hey, there you go,

a nice little challenge for yourself. You got the next year, So Anonymous, maybe this time next year you can email back on the podcast because obviously we'll still be airing because we're thriving, and you can give us an update on whether you went on a hundred dates in one year.

Well that's the big thing too. If it's important for you to get text back in a like a timely manner, then that guy is probably not for you, because even if he's great for you, even if you guys are great together, whatever, if he doesn't text you back, it's not going to be something that you're fulfilled with. So yeah, just go on more dates. I think that's a pretty simple solution. Bought a bing, bought a boom. I think that's gonna do it for this week's episode. What do

you think, Dean? What do you think? Easton? I one thing, just one really quick thing to bring up. I'm sorry right at the end here. Um, so you guys might know that in twenty nineteen, I was the Carmel Corn Princess for ArcLight Cinemas and very big deal for me. Um and Arcolit Cinnmas is no more, but I have regained I regained my crown. Uh. There's a popcorn company called Thank You Popcorn. They're very cool. They do like flavored popcorn, and they have named me thee Carmel Corn

Princess and they let you designed my own flavor. I have my own Carmel corn. It's it's called the Carmel Corn Princess Mix. Uh, and it's Carmel corn with Eminem's mix in, which is what I do when I go to the movies, and I'm really excited about it, and you can get it right now. And the coolest part about it is that if you buy this old, proceeds go to a charity I like called Shoes that Fit, and it gets shoes for kids for school that can't

afford it. And uh, Deana Jerry, you have some of this on their way to your house right now, so you guys can enjoy the popcorn. But um, thank you popcorn dot com if you want the Carmel Corn Princess mix. It's really good. I've been eating an old morning. Where where can people get it? Again? Thank you popcorn dot com. That's the name of the place to be. It's super good and it goes to a great cause. Yeah. I love the Shameless plug. I really, I think it's great.

I think it's just great. I revolved my life around shameless plugs. You kidding me? Uh, Eastern, I have a question for you before we go, because you're such a big movie guy. If you had to choose one movie to show a date so you can even like to say you go on a day with Alison or like back in your single days, when you would go to the movies, if you could choose one movie throughout the entirety of civilization to see to show your date, what movie would you go to. I've thought about this before.

That movie is Who's Harry Crumb starring John Candy, And the reason is I think that movie reflects my sense of humor very well. Uh not a lot of people have seen that movie, and if they like it and they're really to hang out with me afterwards, I think it's gonna be a good relationship. So that's the movie. That's such a good personalized answer. So Allison likes that movie without question, right, Allison Tolerant. She she enjoyed the movie. She has seen it a couple of times now, and

she thinks it's funny. But I haven't, like committed a memory. It's like one of my favorite movies, and I don't know why. So maybe she doesn't like it, but she likes that you like it, yes, yes, and and she she appreciates like what it means to me, which is the most important part about it, I think. But that's the movie I would pick, and I think everyone she got to watch it too. Mark, what about you? What movie would you pick? And this is the sum yourself

up in a nutshell? This is me. Is that what you're saying you can do well? You could pick whatever movie you want. Eastern went that route. He wanted to show a movie that was very personalized to him so his day or his wife could better understand his sense of humor and really enjoy the things that he wants to enjoy. Or you could say, Hey, I really think that this is a great romantic movie and this would get me on a set and date, which is why I'm bringing her to this movie. It's kind of whatever

we whatever way you want to take it. Oh, that's a tough one because I think Who's Harry Crumb would really not please a lot of potential dates. Like if you want to know me, I think it's probably Field of Dreams because it's family and it's baseball and it's time travel and it's just kind of whimsy. But I don't know that that's gonna get me a second date. I think it would because I think the person that you bring on the date would love your love for

a sappy movie like Feel of Dreams. I mean, my god, when Costner is like Dad, I want to have a catch like, oh my god, just tears Niagara Falls. Okay, all right, there we go. Well, what does Amy think of the movie? The same thing she tolerates. I mean, she probably likes a little bit more. We haven't seen it in probably twenty years together, well together, I've seen it plenty. But she's she likes she likes it. Okay, I'll say that. All right, Mark, use her homework for

an next week. We got seven days until we see you next. It's it's the Friday night tonight. Maybe just turn the movie on. Get some of popcorn dot com, Carmel Corn Princess starring Easton with Eminem's in it. Pull up a chair and just go ahead and watch Peel Dreams. I wanted to show it to my daughters too. I definitely want to. That's a special. Yeah, that's cool. There you go, Jared, what's yours? Superman Verse, Batman Verse, Spiderman Verse,

Batman against Snyder Cut? Oh my god, Justice League? Well, actually, so if you guys don't know, Justice League, the Zack Snyder cut came out earlier this year, and it was a four hour movie on HBO. Max and Ashley watched every minute of that four hours with me, And if I already didn't know that she was the one that double down on it, I would say it's a movie that actually I'll tell you a story that I again, you guys are gonna like slap me across the face

because it is stupidity that I am. Back when Ashley and I were just friends. Uh, in the first few months of our friendship really starting to form, I told her that my favorite movie is in the nineteen seventy eight Superman and uh. But I was like, but I think you might like the second one better because there's a little bit more of a love romance involved in the storyline and uh, And I told her, like my

ideal date. We were talking about our ideal dates, and I said, oh, I would probably be watching Superman or Superman two with you know, Chinese food and Junior Mints because I love Junior Mints. And she sent me a picture like a week later she was on her couch by herself Chinese food, Junior Mints and watching Superman too. And it's still it still took me two years before

we started dating. So as you can see, I know the stupidity is is very but like that moment was something that will always just be like, Wow, you are just an incredibly human being and uh, it was cool. How did you did you say? Wow, that looks like fun enjoy? Well that was to know, That's what I mean. Honestly, that was in the midst of the fusion between Ashley and I, between us like are we friends? Are we more than friends? Like everybody who knew us at that

point was like, hey, you guys. Now you guys like feel like boyfriend girlfriend? This is kind of weird. Uh, And so it was always like I was I was in love with her back then and just couldn't bring myself to like get out of my dumbness. So that was like, you know, and then I would respond and saying like how awesome she is and how much I care for and like, oh my god, this is so much. This is awesome and so like it's not that hard to believe that Ashley was a little confused back then,

but yeah, that was cool. So an my my movie would be the nineteen seventy eight Christopherree Superman, because one, I think it's a movie that females can joy as well, because it is like this, you know, Christopherree of one is not that hard to look at when he's in you know, the blue suit. My god, what a stud And then it also has that romance element and that magical element that you know a lot of people can

get behind. Good answer, Dean, what about you? Uh? I think I talked about this on the podcast a while ago that Kaylin and I try to watch that movie Akida the like the anime movie from like the late eighties, and uh, I'll be honest, I hadn't seen it in a while. I remember loving it when I was a kid, a teenager, and Caitlin and I tried watching it, and uh, I think she fell asleep like twenty minutes into it.

So I would say that movie because it was like a child of favorite of mine, but it didn't really go over all that well for Kaylin and I. So but then again, like it's a great movie, it's just there's some slow moments in it, and so like I can see why someone fall asleep in it, Like there were moments where I was kind of even getting a little like bored um. But other than that, I would say, maybe, like you guys all have these really great answers, um,

I would say, maybe, oh my gosh, get out of here. Um, sorry, I'm getting a phone call. I would say, maybe, uh, how to Train Your Dragon? Is it a really good one? Is there no movie that I feel like you It would be like two thousand and one, a Space Odyssey, you know what I mean? Something that like is crazy.

I love Interstellar and Caitlin has like set up a nice like little like last year for my birthday, Kalin sat up like a home theater in the spare bedroom and put on Interstellar for us and we watched that all night and it was really good. Again, it's another great movie, but there's just so many slow moments. I just think our attention spans are are dwindling down every single year, and um, you know the plot development, if it doesn't happen fast enough, we just kind of get

over it. But what about Into the Wild guy gets in a van and heads up to Alaska and find his corpse later? Yeah, yeah, we were actually just talking about that movie. I was just on a bachelor party with Kalin's uncle and his he lived in Alaska for a long time, and we were talking about Alexander Super Tramp and he was like, yeah, in Alaska, everyone hates Alexander Super Tramp like he was so unprepared. He made

so many foolish decisions. And it's so interesting to think about because like we all look at him as like a really interesting kind of like a heroic figure, but people in Alaska don't really seem to like him on that much. Yeah, that's very interesting. I was a huge Into the Wild fan when that movie came out. I was fast. I saw two times in theaters. I read the book. I was fascinated by Alexander Super Tramp. Yeah. Well,

I'll tell you what Mark's got his homework. I'll think of a better movie for you guys to share next week, and then we'll all come back full circle and share all of of of our experiences. I guess, but that was gonna do it for this week's episode of Help by Second Dating you guys. I really appreciate the listeners joining tuning in and joining us this week. Uh. The Shaws of Sunset cast members Mike and Paulina, thank you so much for joining us as well. Be sure to

check out their shows Shaws of Sunset on Bravo. They've got a million episodes because they're in the ninth season now, so you won't be any won't be short for content there, Jared, one last chance. This is your very last chance to share the sex of your baby. We should really cut it off with me being like it's uh, and then the podcast and help by suck a Dating. I'm we're gonna share it soon. You know. I gotta talk to

the wife obviously, she's the boss, uh. And she's the one who's persistently being sick and growing life inside of her while I just get her fast food and crackers sometimes, so it's really up to her, um rightfully so, but who knows. We'll see what happens next week, So make sure everyone keep emailing us, keep following us, and please tune in next week, where hopefully we all suck a little less. Follow help By suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast