#8 We All Suck At Dating

what I can. Well, just you know, get the get the the conversation rolling a little bit. We have Easton over here as well. I don't know if he's all set up over there, but this is the sound of my voice. Yes, I love It's okay great. So we have an article here that we wanted to get your thoughts on. Okay, it's called when a Guy Doesn't Text back. The real reason it drives women crazy because women, we've

talked about this number one, they don't understand it. For example, they measure other people against the yard stick determined by their own personal codes of conduct, meaning I would send it right back to him. Why isn't he setting it right back to me. It makes sense. To number two, they think it means he doesn't care. It might could have said that they got to banter back and forth and suddenly he goes away. Well, why what happened? Well,

they don't understand. Who knows what happened? But doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't care. Agreed or doesn't mean it doesn't care. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. I disagree with that. Okay, how many? How many bullet points are we going for here? This is the third bullet Fear, fear that he's not interested, fear that he's leading you on, fear that he's using you for something else. I just think that people sometimes suck at texting, And I don't know if that necessarily

means that you suck at dating too. I mean I and I guess it really depends on the conversation to like, if you're having a long winded conversation with someone that you're dating, per se, and you take a long time to text back. Um, I've gotten in trouble for this before because I don't want to kind of half assid

a responsor and answer right. So I want to be able to sit down kind of internalize it, and then uh, touch on every topic that we're talking about instead of just kind of brushing it over and um being a little bit more brief than then I should be. And that's gonna be in trouble before because it'll take me you know, maybe I don't have the time then. I think we actually even talked about this in one of the earlier episodes too. But that doesn't necessarily mean that

I'm ignoring or don't care anything like that. It's just a matter of I need to sit, like hunker down and really think about what I need to say in this one. You know, that's interesting. I think most people, especially your age, especially guys, aren't putting that level of effort into texting. Well, I don't want to say that I'm putting any more effort in than anyone else at

the end of the day. I just I think that especially there are certain types of people, um, of both sexes that require, you know, much more explanation of of things, especially like viattacks. Right, so you're arguing with someone and you have friends that you can just give like five word responses to what there are certain types of people that you need to be sure that you're touching on

every point that they're you know, asking about or talking about. Um. And so for those people, I definitely make sure to do my best and make sure that their knee are

being fulfilled through my texting. But at the same time, I will constantly get like, you know, two texts in a row and then I don't respond for two hours, and then like I'll get a follow up text saying okay, never mind, or like some sort of like passive aggressive text that's that's totally meant to like make me to light the fire under my butt to get me to text back faster. Um. And I don't I don't really like that very much understood. What was your reason for delaying?

You were just thinking about what they had said? You're just pondering it for hours at a time. Yeah, Well, and sometimes too it's like, Okay, I don't really want to be talking about this right now, so I'm going to like shelf it for later and come back to it at a later moment. I guess. So they're they're obviously multiple reasons, but I think, like, what were the

three points that were made to fear? Fear was one you think it means he doesn't care doesn't care and you just don't get it because you would never behave that way, right. So it's kind of like a hypocritical stance, I guess because you text back faster, so you don't want the person that you're texting to not text you back so quickly. Um. I don't think any of those really apply to every situation. A shan, I don't know,

what do you guys think. I'm just curious about the time you're putting into thinking about these and I you respect them and you want to give them a good response. What if you did something like I gotta think about that for a second and then you can come back to it when you want to, because they're waiting for those three dots. They're staring at it. No, And I think too, if you were to just outwardly say hey, give me some time to think about this and get

back to you, I think that that would be okay. Um, I'm a big fan of doing that. I've said that, yeah, like hang on, I need a beat on this, or I'll just say stand by okay. So, so we have Tanya in studio with us now, and she was audibly signed during that conversation from a girl's perspective. What do

you think of all that. I'm not a big fan of when guys make me wait um text message because I feel like the time you have your phone in your hand or on your body, So a quick response, not even I don't need it immediately within five minutes, but like within the hour, I think is very appropriate. So if you're making me wait over an hour, it would really irked me. But unless you were uninterested, which

is what I think is the B category. I think if you're not responding and you're taking over however many hours, you're not interested, because I have done that with a guy that I'm trying to wean off. Okay, that's good, Okay, so it's your point. Though. Most people do always have their phones in their hand, right I'm one of those people. I basically I'm always on my phone. But whether it's friends, whether it's people i'm dating, whoever it is, I constantly

here that I'm horrible at texting back. So if a girl you were interested in texted you right now, even during this podcast, you would respond right away. No, I put my phone in it disturb when I come into the studio. Really, yes, this takes priority over everything while I'm in here. Well, that's very nice personally, but isn't there something to that Your interest level in the person

is related to how quickly you would respond. So you're saying that if you are really interested in someone, you should drop everything at any given moment to respond it quickly enough to make sure that they feel comfortable with It's about how you feel. I had a woman tell me once I was visiting my parents an hour away

from where she lived. We had plans on a Sunday night, and I decided to stay with my parents next today, and I called on that said I'm so sorry, I'm gonna stay here for another day so I can't go out tomorrow night. And she goes, you know, if you wanted to be here with me, you would be And she was a hundred percent right now. And if I was really interested, I would have been running those sixty miles. And if you're really interested, you would immediately respond to

that text, don't you think? Yeah? Yes, see, No, it's so true. I think it's so black and white. I do. I don't think there's any of this like weird. I think if you're really interested in somebody and they text you you're going to respond, but maybe not within five minutes,

but you will respond very quickly. Don't you think that like interest levels can kind of be up and down, there's kind of like an ebb and flow to it right where, Um, there are obviously certain times of the day where you have to give your utmost attention to the person you're talking to. But then they're also like lulls where um, okay, you're both doing your own thing. You I don't know, you're out doing work or she's

out doing whatever it is. So there are certainly times where you're not necessarily responsible for responding that quickly, and you're allowed to. I don't want to say be less interested, but you're allowed to, I guess, have more of a buffer's own in terms of responding. Yes, I do agree there are times of the day, but I think that I still I stand by this. If you are interested in somebody, you are going to make it a priority

to respond to that. So you're saying, if you're with the guys, you're at a movie, you're you're busy, You're going to get back to them when you get back to them. But what I don't you ever get a text from a girl and you get that little tickle in your stomach like, oh my gosh, it's her. You've had that. I'm sure I've had it. I'm sure I still have it. I sure. I'm probably just scared to admit that I get it. I don't know. Um yeah, okay.

So when you do get that little tickle, then you want to make sure that you respond fully and appropriately, and you make sure that you are answering what they need to have. Do you ever consult your guy friends about what to say in return? Um? Not often, I would say maybe one per end of the time. You never like, like, I need to be really funny here, let me like go to my really fun I'm the funniest one of all my friends. Did they go to you for texting advice? No, definitely not. I'm definitely not

that funny. But um no, I think that. Yeah. I think my friends and I confide in each other a lot, especially with relationships. I don't know if it's for the better for the worst. I noticed that a lot of the friends that I have, as much as I love them, they're just as bad, if not worse, at dating than I am. So it's it's hard to confide in someone who you kind of I don't know, see a lot of flaws within in terms of the dating sphere, but we do our best to help each other, I guess

for the for the most part. See with guys, it's different than with girls. I know, because so for girls, we will like screenshot and be like, what do I say? Send it to our friends say help me, what do we send back to this? But if guys go to their friends and say, hey, what do I say back to this? It's not so she'll like me. It's so I can close the deal. But what if the deal is already closed, then I think you're probably taking your I'm getting back to her? Is that what it is?

I'm look, I'm married, So I don't know, but that's kind of my feeling. No, I think. I mean, especially in today's day and age, it kind of makes sense. Um, that has to do with interest level. Yeah, if if a girl sleeps with you too soon, do you lose interest? Honestly? Yeah, yeah, I think so. I agree with that. It's funny because guys always are interested in that, but then once it happens that they lose interest. What about on the flip side of that, if a guy sleeps with the girl

too soon? Does the girl who's interest? Does that ever happen? No, I don't think so, only if it's botched somehow, right, Yeah, unless it's bad? Yeah? Wait in what do you mean? Like if unless this sex is bad? All right? This podcast is going straight to our real best. Why don't we take a call. Let's take a call? All right? How about we talked to Megan? She is in Semi Valley, California. Hey, Megan, this is Dean and you're on help. I suck at dating. How are you good? How are you? I'm good? So

what's your question? Um? My question is I guess? Um, I don't. I don't even know. I don't really have a question. It's more like, I mean, I guess. It could be like how to find a mature person? I live like kind of near l A. But I've tried talking to people around my age, older than me, um, even younger than me. Just absolutely everyone is so immature. So how do you find a mature person to date?

I think that I think in the past I've said find someone older, but I think that at the end of the day, it really is a case by case basis, right, I'm twenty six, I act like I'm sixteen. I think you could find a twenty year old that acts like he's thirty four. It really just depends on the type of person that you're meeting. Yeah, where do you Where do you meet most of these people? Um? I don't. I mean the last person I talked to I downloaded you know that at Bumble. Oh we know Bumble very

well over here. I downloaded it for one day and then I met this guy and he is in his last year of med school. So I was like, that's pretty nice. Um. But then we were skyping and he just made the most immature comments and I was just like no, no, no no, no no, and it just did not work. So I deleted the app just because it not really my thing. Um. Way making your twenty years old you said, yes, So what what type of immature

comments were was he making? Like what would you be looking for in terms of like maturity, Um, I guess just someone going somewhere in life just has a lot of respect. Um. So they were like childish remarks like yeah, like I'm the least judgmental person and he randomly tells me he's like, oh I hate fat people like Okay, like what am I supposed to do with that information?

And I first told him because we met on that dating app and I've never done a dating app before, so I told him I'm not the kind of girl to just like hook up with someone that's not me. And then like a week later he ran only tells me he has a high LIVEDO And I'm like, I think that you can't let this one guy kind of make the rule for for dating apps for you. I think that there are definitely success stories coming out of

dating apps, and I'm not, um, I don't know. I think that one out of every you know, five or so guys is going to be super immature like that, and that's that's I agree. I think that if you meet someone and you're uncomfortable with the things that they're saying, I think that you should definitely stay away. Yeah, you know, guys are immature. It's about finding a guy who can kind of cover up the immaturity, that knows enough not

to say something like that on a dating app. Really, we're all I'm forty six, I love playing video games, Like, I'm very immature, but you figure out how to hide the really kind of dorky, ugly parts of yourselves. I think everybody does that. I think there's a difference too, between being immature and just kind of being UM. I mean, I guess is the word is that the sive sensitive and sensitive is what I was looking for. So yeah,

I don't know, Megan. I'd say, I say keep. I think that you can't really place an age on it. Of course, I think as you skew older, you'll genuinely see more mature guys. But I don't think you should discount younger guys just because of their age. They can certainly be more mature than that year old was. What do you do, Megan? What do I do? Um? I'm a junior in college right now. None of the guys what college, cow State, channel islands and nobody there is interesting.

No the guy to girl ratios one or there's girls to everyone. Guy, I should have got married. I mean, I will say that when when I was a junior in college, I was incredibly immature, but I was a little bit more. I want I would say that I was a little bit more self aware than this twenty year old guy that you were talking to. UM, I would just say, like, you're you're at an age right now where you're supposed to be, you know, kind of like enjoying yourself. Obviously, you're a junior in college. You

should be having fun everyone. I mean, I don't want to say like jump into a relationship or anything like that, but um, you know you're twenty years old, you're about to be twenty one. I'm sure you should be having fun and maybe not necessarily trying to get into a relationship with an incredibly mature guy. Of course, I don't know you, um, and I think that you should take that with a grain of salt. But it's it's it's a fun time in your life, and I think you

should be enjoying it. Well, thank you. Yeah. And I think when I turned one that will expand a lot, because then I can go to a lot more places and meet more people. You have so much time ahead of you. I don't think you need to rush anything. All right, Well, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for calling in all. It is nice talking to you. Let's go to Ali in Wisconsin, which is my home state. Hello Ali from Wisconsin. This is Dean. How are you good? How are you? I'm good? So you're on with me?

Mark easton Antonia. Even Antonia can't hear you. But what's your question for us? Um? Okay, so I've never had a boyfriend. Okay, I like a guy, but he has a girlfriend, and I don't want to be like rude and like talk to him. But how old are you? Your nineteen? Okay? So how old is he and his girlfriend? Um, he just turned twenty one and they think his girlfriend is the same age. And how long have they been dating? For um, at least a couple of months. What do

you like about this guy? Ali? Um, while we were put together because I'm in college and we were like put together to work on a group project, and like he like every day he was like he always asked me how I was and I don't know. He was just a really nice guy. Sounds like a nice guy. Okay, I will say that. So my I have a similar experience with this. When I was in college, there was this girl that I really really liked. We were both in business school together. We both, um you know, had

a lot of the same classes. Every once in a while, we were paired up to work on a group project together. She had a boyfriend and they had been dating I think since their freshman year all the way up through senior years, so quite a long time. Um, and I think the best thing that you can do is just be respectful of the relationship and obviously not try to pressure anything, but maintain like a solid friendship with this guy, because what I did was maintained a strong friendship with

her as well. Um, you know, always be sure to to support her and even you know, their relationship in every way possible. And then if it's meant to be In this case, they broke up after graduation, in her and I were able to start dating after the fact. Um. But I think like once you're able to like, uh, build a friendship and allow you know, kind of you to get to understand him better, him to understand you better, and used to be able to continuously supporting him, that

kind of shows a good side of you. And um, I think that's probably the best advice that I could give. You. Be the guy, Be the person that's there for him when he needs somebody, right like that? Where do you live in Wisconsin? Alley, Oh Claire home with the Blue GOLs? Um, here's my thought on miss and I I feel like and I don't want to offend you in any way, and I think I was in this position, I really do.

I remember when I was in high school and I've never had a girlfriend before, and an upperclassman girl smiled at me one day, and I'm sure she thought nothing of it, and I was in love with her for four years after that. He was really nice to you, and I think you might be have inflated feelings for

him because of the kindness that he showed you. Uh So, I don't know if he's the guy for you necessarily, but you'll find out if you take Dean's advice and get to know him and be his friend, you'll kind of find out if he's the guy for you and know the real thing, because I think he might be inflated a little bit in your mind right now, which is also another reason why you should realize it's not

gonna happen overnight. It's it's it's throughout a long enough time maybe that that inflation of romanticism will either fade or continue to grow. It will give you a better chance to kind of assess it that way and understand him as a person. And it is a little bit more challenging because I guess you said you've never had a boyfriend, right, And I guess I had had a couple of girlfriends up to that point, so maybe I

was a little more familiar with it. But um, I think that, yeah, I think that as long as you're kind of there and you, I just don't think that you should move too quickly with it. You should kind of let it play out. And you you don't want to get on her radar if somebody who's trying to take him away. All right, that's a good point. I see.

All right, I have one last question, all right, late honest allly, Okay, So I was I didn't watch the season as a Bachelor, but I watched the bachelom Paradise, and I really want to know, is there any chance that you and Christina, whatever happen is again? Um? I mean, I think I think anything is possible. Um Um. I don't know. I think that there are there's a lot of things working against us, but there's also a lot of things working for us. Um. But it's it's really

hard to say. It's obviously not entirely up to me, and I don't know. I think it's similar to what you have going on. It's just a matter of letting time unfold and really see what happens. But if she were entering into it, would you be interested. I think that there's so many external factors that you have to account for. I don't know if if everything I don't know, I don't feel like America wants it. Well, that's not reason enough for me. American can want whatever they want.

Um No, I mean Christine and I like, like we still we still talk, we still have conversations. Um. I think to the to the advice that I gave you, what her and I are currently doing is working on, you know, having open line of communication, uh, kind of building a friendship and then seeing what could bossom from that.

And I think that's important in any relationship. I think that if you're able to to be friends with someone and then move into a romantic situation with them, then that's all the better because I think then you're more you know more about who they are, and you know kind of what you're getting yourself into. So um. The difficult thing with the whole Bachelor Nation is everything is kind of on an expedited timeline, and so you're expected

to move very very quickly over the small amount of time. Um. But you said your nineteen. I mean you have so much time. Um, we're both twenty six, so you know we have a little bit less time than you. But UM, I just think that it's it's unfair to yourself to put an unnecessary timeline on it. So that's that's why that's my long winded answer. All right, Well, I really hope things work out well. Ali, thank you for calling in. I hope things work out with you and this mystery

man that you have group projects with. But um, thank you for calling in. Thank you. All right, I have an email about that mentions Christina, and I think this would be a good time to mention it. Okay, I think you'll like it. You you're I can tell about to look on your eyes like, oh boy. I just don't like the Christina questions. It's not a question, it's a comment that I think you'll agree with. This is tally.

She says, I don't feel that you led Christina on to the point of forgetting as much attention as she did from it, her point being it's overblown. She doesn't think you were as bad a guy to Christina as you're being made out to be. Um. Well, I fully agree with that. See, I told you you'd like. I think I'm by no means of my innocent. I definitely made mistakes with that relationship with other relationships. Um, but I do think that it was magnified and amplified a

little bit more than what it really was in reality. Um. But again that's not my place to decide. You know, everyone kind of has their own way of reacting to everything, right, UM, So it's it's really hard for me to say that people blew it out of proportion because that's just the way that they hit Well, you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, do a podcast about it,

and here we are in episode eight. She also says, tally, my X and I have been on and off for four years and now we're just talking again, seeing each other basically what one would call dating. But he won't commit and I don't want to bring it up since everything has been really nice and it's the best that's ever been. What is the one piece that keeps a guy from committing fully to a girl, especially one that he has committed to before. Could it always just be

because there's potential for another girl, something better? This is what we referred to as the bigger better syndrome where guys won't commit because they think there's always something better out there. It's like when guys are watching TV, they're flipping through the channel, flip flip, flip flip. They'll never sit and watch anything, sometimes to even minimize what they're watching and keep looking, looking, looking, because there's always a better show out there. And this is kind of how

guys are wired. So let's get back to her first question. The one thing that keeps guys from committing fully, Dane, the one thing that keeps guys from committing fully. Well, so, it sounds like she's had her lung relationship with this guy. They broke up and now they're just dating casually. I wonder if that means when she says he's not committing, that he's having he's pursuing an open relationship with her,

because I feel like that it's never any fun for anyone. No, but you're right, sometimes you go back to an XT for that purpose. Sure, but if you're dating someone, you could still be in a monos anogamous, noncommitted relationship. I guess if that makes sense. I feel like, if things are good, if she's happy, but she is saying that he needs to commit to her. What does that mean, Like he needs to be her boyfriend. She wants that conversation to happen, and she wants to be a boyfriend

and girlfriend like they used to be. He hesitant. I think it's got to be one of two reasons. One is that he just he's in that bigger better syndrome moment where he thinks there might be something better out there. Or number two, maybe he got hurt the first time, real bad and he's worried about getting hurt again. Yeah, that's maybe giving him too much credit, but that's a possibility,

so to that, I don't I don't know. Maybe this is a little bit off topic, but for me, I personally require like a label to be put on the relationship, Like I want to be someone's boyfriend. I don't want to be dating them, you know. I'd rather be able to say this is my girlfriend, now, this is the girl that I'm dating. Um, of course it has to be the right person and the right girl. And I guess obviously we don't fully understand the situation quite as well.

But UM, someone something that can stop him from committing.

I mean, I think like you said, it's the bigger better syndrome right there, Maybe he's looking for someone else or at the end of the day, like I think that if she's happy, and if he's treating her well, and if their relationship seems to be progressing, then I think when you kind of put the unnecessary uh expectation of a relationship like hey, you need to make your mind up now about what we're going to be in our relationship, I think that's kind of putting a lot

of pressure on it and a lot of strain on the relationship, which could sometimes be negative, but scare as a guy for sure. And also I think one thing I do think, and I've been here before, it's not quite bigger better, but you feel like if I'm yeah, it is bigger better, I guess because thinking if I'm fully her boyfriend, well, gosh, there's this girl that I se get Starbucks. Sure, this girl it works. That's kind of seems like she's interested. He's just keeping his options open,

which is not great for tally. So maybe if she can't handle that, it might be time to move on. Because you don't want to give him an ultimatum, but I think maybe just say to him Look, it's clearly not you're not into this, and that's cool, but I'm gonna go. So I've been given the ultimatum before. I've been given the ultimatum of hey, you either be my boyfriend or we don't talk anymore, and I chose the boyfriend route. This is my ex ex ex girlfriend, whatever

it is. Have we spoken to her on this show. We have not spoken to her on this show. We're next week. We're friends. I mean, like she's she's a great, great girl, all that kind of stuff. But um, I think that every I think ultimatum is never a good thing in a relationship. I think that if you, if you make the person have to have that make that choice, it should be kind of more like a collective, amicable decision. I think, But you chose boyfriend. How long did that?

I'll read around a year? Okay. I like to come to the defense of the ultimatum because the woman who's now my wife, we have known each other for a very long time, very long time, and things got to a point in our friendship where they started to become a little romantic. But the man would not fully commit to her. Uh not because I was thinking there's anything bigger or better. I just, um, I was afraid. I

valued our friendship quite a bit. I was afraid of losing, you know, because I mean, your boyfriend things anything badly, kiss anything, exactly, very close friends. But we didn't. And then when things started becoming physical and such, that went on for a few months, longer than it should have. And then she said, hey, you know that I can't do this anymore either we we just we can't do this anymore, or or you are my boyfriend now, like and I And as soon as she said that, I'm like,

I'm your boyfriend. And it really like got me to man up, you know, and like, really, okay, you know this is like and really value with this relationship in the situation. And uh, and now I'm married to her and I'm having ever been And I really think that if she hadn't thank you, I really think if she hadn't done it, I probably would have been in that world for you know, in perpetuous interesting too, because guys are scared to jump sometimes and maybe they need to

push sometimes. Yeah. Could you argue that a marriage proposal is basically giving the person an ultimatum you either or you don't? Often say no, and that goes and then they just can go back to normally. I was going to dating. Let's talk to Charlene in Detroit where it's very chilly right now. Hey, Charlene, this is Dean. Thank you for calling it. How are you, hi, Keen? I'm great. How are you? I'm doing well? What questions? So? I have Mark Eastern Antonian Studio. You're talking all of us.

What's the question for us? Well, I guess I'm not great because I really suck a beating. So um. The reason I called is I tend to always date the exact same type of person, somebody who is at like some sort of stop in their career or some sort of leg and need like emotional support, like somebody to be there rock. And then what always happens is I'm always that person because I'm too empathetic and too nice. And then when they're back on the up and up,

they get to meet every time. Okay, sorry, I was taking a Instagram store and a little bit. Charlene, give me, let me summarize. Doesn't have to give me the whole thing again. Guys come to her that are having a hard time in life. They need help, and she helps them through it. She's their rock for them, and then she gets them back on their feet and ready to date, and they don't. Then they move on from her, and she's like, hey, I'm right here. I would be perfect

for you. Is that kind of accurate? Yeah? Perfect? I'm like, I got you here. What is this? So you are you helping these people because you have like you have like a crush on them pretty much? Yeah? Yeah. Also because I have like a great job, I have a lot of ways, but I can help people. So I always get too empathetic and I lift people up and then, like I said, they get on the up and up and then they get cocky and they leave. What's wrong

with them to begin with? Are they going through a breakup? Um? Sometimes it's people's careers, like, um, I tend to date always like athletes that are on a loan in their career, um, and they need like emotional support and then they go score the winning touchdown and it's bye bye Charley. Yeah, They're gone. It's terrible. I think Tanya has to chime

in on this one. I I have been you many times, so I can really relate to this, and I think that the best advice that I can give you is you can't invest so much in these relationships because I think I am the same exact way. I'm a cancer, so I give so much. Are you a cancer to Yes? This makes perfect sense because we give so much, So we invest so much into these relationship hips with the with the expectation that it's going to turn into something different.

You cannot have that expectation in any relationship. You have to only give to people that are giving to you as well. So I think like the best advice is to not I know it sounds so bad because it's your natural instinct to be this way, but you can't. You can't invest so much in these guys until they start investing in you. That's what I had to do, and it's helped. I mean, I'm still single, but it's helped not let me get let down so much. How How did you stop though? You can't just stop caring

about something. You have to really really try hard, and it goes against everything in your body. Like, I know, I can relate to you so much because it's it's just your natural instinct to be that way, so I have to really try to reel it in, and you just have you just have to make an effort because if you don't, if you don't change anything, it's just

going to continue to hurt you. And you're going to start seeing a pattern where you start getting into relationships with guys who are supern eadie and they kind of treat you as their mommy and the next thing you know, you're not gonna be happy with that either. It's a perpetual pattern of pain, as I like to call it, the three piece, So you have to be very mindful. Yeah, well, thank you. Yeah, you just described that perfectly, So thank you.

Good luck. Charlene. I'm sorry, that's uh. I couldn't be more help, but it sounds like Tanya kind of nail it on the head. Yeah, you're the worst. All right, let's go to the next collar. Bye, Charlene, thank you, she's gone. Okay, you're Melissa and New York. Go ahead. Hey, Melissa, thank you for calling. This is Dean. What's your question? How are you good? How are you? I'm doing well? What question do you have for us? We have It's me Mark Eastern Antania in studio right now. So you

have a panel of four experts. Oh awesome, Tanya, love you so much. On Ryan Show. I love you, thank you for listening. Yeah, um, you all are amazing too. Um but my question was like, I'm super shy and I hate going up to people like randomly, like when I'm out of the bar, like I hate going up to guys that's just like not me, like ever, and like being in New York like everyone just like super annoying sometimes. So what is your advice for that? Like

how can I overcome it? Um? Well, I think that despite what everyone else in studio thinks, I'm incredibly shy as well. I don't really like approaching people. Do you do you have guys approaching you at the bars or how do you normally meet people? I mean yeah, but I just like I'm like, so, I don't know, I just don't like meeting people that way sometimes. I just like to meet people like in smaller groups, just like organically,

like whenever I go out was just like annoying. Um well, I go out in New York City, but I live in Hoboken, Okay, gotcha? Um? Yeah, I mean I think that if you it's hard to be the shy person, especially when you go out with a group of friends, because it seems like you're always the one that's kind of not meeting people, or you're meeting the wrong people because the ones that come up to you typically aren't

the biggest catches in the world. You know that. I would say like five percent of guys are willing to approach the girl. Yeah, so I don't know. What What do you got? I got Tanya? You love her because Tany is gonna have some good advice for what to say to a guy in a barn. I love that. I don't love you being in bars meeting guys. I don't think it's great. I don't think it's ideal. I don't either, and so and so I don't think you

should force yourself. I don't think so. I I that when I first moved to Los Angeles and I was kind of single because my girlfriend was back in Wisconsin, and so I we're in this weird, nebulous area, and so I'd go out to bars with these guys because I felt obligated to, like, well, i'm single and i'm twenty six, and this is what you do. And I was miserable every minute I was there. And I was way too shy to approach any girls because it's Hollywood.

I mean, forget it. I just got here, so I couldn't do it, so I stopped, and that actually worked much better because you're gonna get to know people more at work, at school, just personally, and the more they know you as a person, the more they're gonna like you, and then something blossom from there. All right, now, I'll turn it over to Tany and see what she has

for you. Okay, So I like to call this dropping the handkerchief So I don't think you necessarily have to go up to a guy at a bar and like lay a one liner on him or beat you know, because I think, you know, there is something nice about being shy, but there's also something about dropping the handkerchiefs so that the guy knows that you're interested and then

he can pursue you. So if there's a guy standing next to the bar, you can walk up to him and maybe order yourself a drink, and you can look at his drink and say, oh, oh, what is that? You know? I want to try something tonight. I'll have what he's having, and then you open up the conversation to like start talking to him, and if he doesn't engage with you, then find by who cares cut your losses.

But it's like, there's certain ways to engage in conversation without necessarily dropping a one liner and having to be flirty, just having a conversation with a normal person that you meet out. So I like to call it draw up in the handkerchief, whether it's making eye contact and smiling, like letting them know that it's okay to approach you, because I think it's also really intimidating for a guy to look at a group of girls and say, oh,

I like her. But if you look over and smile at him and he sees that, then he's more likely to come and talk to you. And there definitely has to be a level of approachability because if you're with a group of girls, again, like that guy that comes up to you nine times out of ten is going to be the guy that you don't want to be dating.

But if you're, if you make yourself more approable, whether it's I don't know, being in a small group, not going out with like a guy friend, because no guy really feels comfortable going up to a guy that has a guy friend, whether it's you know, platonic, whatever it is. So I think there's a level of approachability that maybe will attract the more desirable guys that you're looking for. Or you can do what my roommate does and has one of her girlfriends give the guy her number on

a napkin. So there's lots of different ways you can do that. Every time I approached the girl out in public, it was always at a place that where we were guaranteed have a shared interest, like at a record store or something like, oh, you're looking for the Shrek soundtrack too, and like you know things like that, Like I feel like that's an exact conversation you had a record store.

Yes it is um, but you know, I don't drink, so I've never I don't hang out at bars um, but I would talk to you know, I asked a lot of girls out in my time, back back in my day that was quite quite the quite the hound dog out on the scene. But it was always like a coffee shop or or a record store or like the gym or something like that, something where you're gonna have something to talk about. You don't have to just have to go up and you know, have a cold.

One miner, a girl up to a guy is kind of hilarious if you looked up to a guy and so awkward and I get like so like much more like weird if I try to flirt, but that's endearing. All right, listen, here's here's a fullproof plan to find your soul mates. So what you should do is where at all times were a very bright red shirt and at the end of the day, you just go about

your day as you normally would. And at the end of the day, uh, maybe every day you get home and you check miss connections on Craigslist and then you just type in the keywords red shirts. And this way, the person that sees the misconnections, you'll just be living your life as you normally would, and they'll find that attractive, which means that they're just genuinely interested in you. I feel like I'm going to get killed that way. It's kind of a hail marriage, all right. Well, Melissa, we

hope that helps. Thank you for calling in. Yeah, thank you guys so much. Good day. Are you too? Time to turn this around on you? Dean. Julia emailed us and she has some thoughts on your dating issues. She thinks she can help you. And then we have an advice call for you, Julia says, I think I can sum up Dean's dating issues with two of his own statements. Yeah, using your own words against you here. Number one, I refuse to use soap, but I will not date someone

who doesn't use soap. I said that once. Yes, this is like me saying I hate going to the gym, but I will not date a guy who does not go to the gym. That's a little different, but okay, okay. And number two, I like to keep relationships with ex girlfriends, but would be bothered by a girl were still talking to about boyfriends. Yep said that to double standards will not get Dean foreign relationships, relationships, or about compromise and

the realization that neither person is perfect. That is Julia, Okay, Julia, to your point, I think that both of those statements that I made are a bit inherently hypocritical. I can't argue with you there. I think that in the in defense of those statements, the soap thing, it's it's not for lack of I'm still clean. I think with the soap, I don't smell bad, I still smell good, I still feel clean, I still am clean, And I think that

it kind of. It was maybe perceived wrong when I said it, but I can understand where you're coming from. To the other wolves other one, I can't. I don't want my ex I don't want the girl i'm seeing to talk to her exes, but I'll talk to my exis. I think that maybe just stems from the trust issues

that I have. Is because I trust myself in that situation, but it's harder for me to trust someone that has had that romantic pass with their X whatever it is UM and I guess it varies to like, if I'm dating someone who has a history of having like bad xes, or like someone that like mistreats them or manipulates them something like that, then I feel much more comfortable by

saying I don't think it's necessary. I don't think it's appropriate for you to be hanging out with them just because of what he's done to you in the past versus me. I do have a couple of, you know, ex girlfriends that I don't I would have no interest in pursuing a friendship with. But a lot of the girls that I've dated, I've dated them because they are very genuinely good people, and I see the utility in maintaining a friendship with them because they just kind of

like it was positivity and I appreciate that. Um, So that's kind of where that those two statements came. She had an ex who used positivity, it was a great guy. Maybe it'd be a little bit more open to that. Maybe it'd be a little bit more open to that. I mean, yeah, absolutely, I think that maybe. And again I was kind of just drawing from recent experience. Um, this girl who I dated recently has an ex who has a track record of being an incredibly horrible person,

and I think we were talking about it once. Um, I got lunch with my ex girlfriend, and um, I told her about that, and she brought it up. And it's just it was a complete different situation because, um, this guy obviously was not good to her. He didn't treat her well, he was incredibly manipulating all that kind of stuff. And so it's harder for me to get behind a friendship like that when I know that he probably has ulterior motives to to kind of going out

to lunch and trying to like mend a friendship. Yeah, it's hard to trust that. It's hard to trust their why they want to hang out with your girlfriend, right, Yeah, I get that, but yeah, yeah, I don't know. So if that makes sense, I guess maybe. I guess it stems from trust issues that I have, probably, and it's tough because you can't put yourself in their shoes. You don't know these guys. They're just guys who may have ulterior motives. You know your exes and you know if

they're safe or not right. All right, shall we go back to the phone. I have good news for you. The woman who called with a dating advice for you dropped off, So congratulations that hopefully it wasn't very good. Let's see what Alex in Colorado have to say. Hey, Alex, thank you for calling in. How are you? I'm good? UM, An, apologies for my voice. I'm kind of sick right now. What's your question or what's your what are you looking for some advice? Okay? UM, so I needed like life,

I guess. UM. I was talking to this guy for probably like three weeks, and you know, like we have chemistry. It was pretty good. I feel like every you know, all the right things that he could have said he was saying, and then you know, we met up once. UM hung out and stuff, and that was probably like a couple of weeks ago, and now it's just like silence. I think there's nothing. And then I texted it on Saturday.

I'm like, okay, you know, are you doing okay? And I still haven't gotten a response yet, so I don't know what to do. I think you should just forget

about him and move on. I think you have to. Um. This is Marking East in Studio, by the way, So I think that if if I were to put myself in that situation, I think that he either is dating someone else, has a relationship with someone else, is uninterested, and I just don't think it's necessarily worth you wasting your time or you don't even just thinking about it. I think you should just kind of move on to

the next guy. That's my advice. I think you know in your heart that this was not the guy for you, and that's okay. There's gonna be a lot of those guys, and it's good that you know sooner than later. I agree. Yeah, So at this point, I think you've only invested a few weeks, so you're kind of getting out ahead. Still. That's just that's that's what I Yeah, for sure, thanks, Yeah, I was thinking the same thing too, So we'll stay warm out in Colorado. Okay, thank you for calling in. Yeah, well,

thank you so much, appreciate it. I have a great thing. Hey, Abby, thank you for calling in. This is Dean. How are you hi? I'm good. How are you good? Thank you for for holding for so long? What what question do you have? Okay? So I went on a date with a guy and then everything went really well, and he even said it went well. And then a few days later he um basically said that he was still hung up on his ex and that he just wanted to

be friends. And I was cool at that. And then about two weeks later I saw that he had a girlfriend, and so I was just wondering why instead of saying he just wasn't interested, um that he said he wasn't ready for a girlfriend. And then he got a girlfriend two weeks later. And this girl that is his girlfriend now is different than his ex girlfriends. Oh, I just

think he lied to you. I think I think I think he alled you to spare having to say that he was either uninterested or found someone else that he wanted to date. Um. I mean, it's it's kind of the classic move you know, you say, you can't really argue with someone for having feelings for their X, so it kind of like ends the end of the conversation without sack argument classic it's not you, it's me. Yeah, I just don't understand, like why he would just straight

up tell me he's not interested. Well, it's because him, like so many of us, is he's just a woss He's scared to to say what really is the case because he doesn't want to make you feel bad. He doesn't want to make himself feel bad for making you feel bad. Um, we talked about ghosting last week. Why do people ghost? Yeah, this is kind of in the same family. Yeah, you ghost because you're too much of a worst to say I'm not interested in you, Because

that's a that's a rough thing to say. And believe me, I've been on the other side of it. I wish so much that all three women that ghosted we would have just said, look, I'm not interested, because then I could just cut the chord and move on quickly. Rather oh maybe someday, who knows what might happen in the future. No, that interested, I could move on. It's the same thing to say I'm not interested in you is kind of insulting. And so for him to say I'm really hung up

at my ex true or not, that probably wasn't the reason. Yeah, Like even he told me, he was like, well, we I never know what will be down the road. So it cut me. Like, so he's trying to keep he's trying to keep his options open. He's trying to kind of keep you on a tether. I think we talked about this last week or maybe the week before that a little bit. By by saying something like that instead of saying I'm not interested in you. By saying what he said or ghosting someone, it kind of leaves the

avenue open for later on. You know, if if maybe him and this new girlfriend break up and you're still single, then he can reach back out. But if he says he's not interested, then it kind of closes the door a little bit more fully than than otherwise, if that makes sense. So I would say personally, be don't entertain the idea of getting back together with him if he

breaks up with his girlfriend. That's my suggestion. And obviously just just move on and maybe put it behind you, because again, I think guys have this way of thinking they're doing the right thing and being mature about it. I'm guilty of this as well, but in reality it just is a little bit more confusing and a little bit more hurtful from the woman's perspective. I agree, and this may become a kind of a theme of this show.

This is not the guy for you, and it's great that you know that now rather than down the line, and you can move on. Yeah, but good luck. I'm sure I hope the next guy that comes along, um is your guy. I think that it's just just a matter of time. Right, Someday, when you're married and with kids, you're going to be laughing about that you were ever interested in this guy? Yeah, of course, good luck, Abby, Thank you? Should we take a call from a guy? Yeah,

Brian and San Jose. Brian, how's it going? Thank you for calling in. I'm good. How's it going doing? Hey, Brian, you are the very first male caller we've ever had on the show, So thank you so much. Really, Oh that's good. How are you? What I questioned? You ask? So I'll give you a little background about me. Um, I'm like early twenties. I just moved out to San Jose, California college graduate, working full time now, and I'm in a new kind of a new area, and I don't

really know too many people. So in the past I've been using dating apps like tender Bumble Coffee Stable, but I seem to be going in circles in terms of like my dating life, and I just wanted to know what are some suggestions you have for how I can put myself out there more beyond just like my phone. So you just moved to San Jose, have you do you have like any friends out there or you just kind of moved out there all by yourself. I have a couple of friends, Like I have a roommate that

I've known for a while. Um, aside from that, maybe like all of my friends live in San Francisco, but uh, I mean I'm an hour away in San Jose, right, yeah, kind of on my own kind of not Yeah, I think I think it's definitely a tough situation to be in when you move somewhere new. Um. I moved to Los Angeles about two and a half years ago with one of my great friends and then we I had a couple of other friends out here fortunately that I was able to kind of like lean on and hang

out with to meet new people. I think. I think, honestly, the best thing that you can do is just like as often as they're going out, or as often as you feel comfortable going out, do that to to meet new people, right. I mean, obviously it's kind of like the cliche, but um, I think that as difficult as they can be. When I first moved here, um, I was using Bumble and I met you know, a couple of friends that I still have now through the app. Um. So it's really just a matter of I don't know,

being able to what I did to actually was. I said yes to a lot of things too. I would never really say no to to meeting someone or a new opportunity because that's opened up a lot more avenues for me, um in terms of friendships, relationships, all that kind of stuff. And again, I know it's all very um kind of what you expect to hear, but if you're early twenties, you just move somewhere new, the best thing that you can do is kind of open yourself

up to as many opportunities as possible. What do you do? I like that? What do you do? Brian? A lot of things I work at LinkedIn a shout out to my team. I'm pretty sure they're gonna listen to this. Um nice. Well, hey, if they listen to it, tell them to endorse me on LinkedIn. It's been a while since I signed in the mind, but one of my one of the people on my team, they like your LinkedIn profile because you have dogs on your as your header.

Oh yeah, that was pretty cool too. Well. I'm definitely obsessed with dogs, and as a recruiter, I tried to I tried to convey some of my love for them over my LinkedIn profile. That's funny that, I guess. I haven't looked at it, But aren't there a lot of super smart tech girls working at LinkedIn? Do you not want to date in the office? I mean, I'm not really into, like, you know, in our office dating. I like a firm believer of don't. I don't don't know

how there go. Yeah, I can get awkward, sure, yeah, And I mean me personally, I know if that were to ever happen, I just know. Actually I don't even want I don't even want to think about that. Just no, That's what I don't know for me. How long have you lived in San Jose? For must than a year less than a year on one year in March. Oh, gotcha.

So you move about there right after you graduated pretty much? Yes, yeah, I mean I think the first year is always the hardest because you're still like getting used to the new space, you know, the new city, all that kind of stuff. But um, honestly, I think you kind of gotta keep doing what you're doing and keep talking to people, keep me working, meeting professional people. Maybe they don't work in the office, But I do like a Sharks game as

a first date. If I could just throw that in there, Sharks, all right, I'll keep that in mind. I'm not much of a hockey fan, but I'll definitely here's my case, and some people disagree with I know tany you disagree with me on this, but here's my case for sporting events his first dates. At dinner, you're forced to talk to each other. The conversation has to keep going, and if it lulls for a few minutes, it gets uncomfortable. On gosh, we're not clicking, we're not talking. What are

we gonna say? If you go to a move or a show you don't talk at all to each other, you barely get to know each other. But at a baseball game, a hockey game, a basketball game, you can talk, you can watch the game, you can go back and forth. It doesn't matter. What do you want to eat, Let me go get it for you. There's just it's just open. It's just free. You can do whatever you want. And I think it's a great way to get to know somebody.

That same thing. For miniature golf, I'm alf the first because you you get the blood flow and you're walking around and if you want anything to talk about, you can just start whacking balls into like fake wind mills and stuff. In fact, if you go over the hill to my hometown of Santa Cruz, California, there's a beautiful miniature golf course right there on the boardwalk is back. Now, how do you feel about sporting events or miniature golf

on a first date? A woman's perspective, the worst I would rather, I would I would rather do a million other things than go to mini golfing or go to a sporting event on a first date. So I guess you have to know your audience. But I'm saying it's it's great for conversation, but the conversation isn't forced. But on the first date, you're stuck with a guy and you have to sit through an entire game with him. Oh, I couldn't think of anything worse. That's hours of your

life that you'll never get back. I highly recommend on our first date anything that you can have an exit strategy for drinks, but you're going in with a negative attitude. I clearly didn't date that much because you need to go in with that attitude. I think you need an exit. I think Brian is a catch though he's a college graduate, just moved worse for LinkedIn lives in San Jose, So no one's going to need an exit strategy to get rid of Brian. That's what you think, Brian, nothing I

can see. Yeah. On the flip side, I mean I do agree with that because I always think, Okay, how can I get out of this too? Like in case to go self, because if you get drinks and it's going really great, you can say, hey, do you have plans for dinner? I'd love to take you to dinner. But if it's going terrible, you can say, oh, I actually made plans for my for dinner with my friends. It was so lovely meeting you have a nice night. Bye.

I mean that's pretty good, guys, Okay, trust me. All right, I don't know, Brian, I still say stick with the stick with the sports, keep it late, tell you never ben. Okay. So coming from the girl's perspective, what's a good ideal first statement? Do you drink? Yes, occasional. Last yeah, I'm open for drinks. I've in the past, I've un coffee, Um, coffee, I don't love coffee. Coffee is fine, but I would suggest drinks because it's early enough in the day. If

it goes bad, you have an exit. If it's going great, you can extend it. I mean I met a guy for a first day for drinks and we had so much fun. We went and had dinner after and then we went to a different place to have dessert. So if it's going well, you can feel the vibe and you can extend it. But I always think having something short and simple and don't get too crazy on the first date. All right, I think Brian and Tan you are clicking here personally, slim me your number. I'm team

Briania right now. All right, Brian, Well, hey, we hope that helps. Thank you for being the first mail caller on podcast. We do really appreciate it. Um, best of luck, buddy, though, We'll we'll circle back around and see how everything else is going with in San Jose with you alright? Cool? Yeah, thank you. I'll probably call in another time, all right, take care? Alright? Alright, do you I have good news? The woman who had advice for you called back. She's

bad gets Courtney is Chattanooga, Tennessee. Hey Courtney from Chattanooga. How are you good? So your phone dropped? Huh no, okay, I do not know what happens. Okay, Well, what's the advice? I'm ready for it. Okay, so freezed to just really work on your communication skills? What's wrong with my communication skills? Okay?

So I feel like we know the whole reason to go on Bachelors to day to round and day other people, But I just feel like if you found someone so like you hit it off with someone like really great, like, why would you jeopardize that to go on the other day with someone else? Plan? Do you get I'm saying what I'm saying, Like it's like that's what you wanted to do the entire time, and maybe you should have said that, like fulle day one, like we hit it off.

I'm also gonna go on datescause other women. Okay, So what I what I did wrong was I didn't communicate clearly enough what my intentions were correct, Okay, I mean I can't say that you're wrong. I think the challenging thing that I had with that whole ordeal was in the moment I thought I was being very clear and honest about everything, but then watching watching it back, I can see how and why you might think that I wasn't communicating as clearly as I should have been. Um, yeah, yeah.

I just felt like in relationships, communication is everything. Like if you did not communicate like, well, I give the relationships not gonna I feel like it's not going to progress or go anywhere. Like you need to be on the same page and you need to communicate about like everything to make sure the other party understand and it's okay, we'll be intentions everything. I just think in that situation too, there was a lot going on that I didn't fully understand.

So I was trying to I was a very confused, young little sapling, and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into what I was doing. Again, These are not excuses. These are not excuses by any means. It's just I wasn't I wasn't sure what I wanted, So it's hard to communicate something of uncertainty like that, you know. Um, And there was a lot of like outward pressure on on a lot of the things that I don't know. It's justly very it was a very

unique situation. I thought that by being open and honest about everything, because I did have strong feelings for both and I thought if I told them that it would be okay. Obviously not so much the case. Um, but I'm definitely working on the communication side of things. I think that even just in the past two months, um, three months, however long it's been, I don't I do think that I have improved dramatically with communication. I still think that I've have a very very long way to

go by all means. Um. Yeah, but what else is that? Is that the main advice point that the communication? Yeah, and like I need you and Christina to work it out somehow. Yeah, it's like I just feel like I need to know that. I feel like you date like for purpose, like everyone if you want to get married

to date for purpose. So if you hit it off to keep them like really good somewhere that feel like you shouldn't want to jeopardize that felt like going like if you hit it all the time, you should date for a purpose. So you're saying at this point, how old are you, Courtney, so we're the same age? Do you think that we're getting to the point in life where we should be getting dating with a purpose where we should only date people that we see a future

slash wedding slash marriage with. Yeah, so I'm married. We just celebrated our war year. Congratulations, thank you, m Yeah, because I just feel like it's marriage just what you want them waste your time like just playing games and leading people on. No, I understand that I'm not saying that I'm doing. I don't saying in general, like, if that's what you want, then don't screw it up listening

around or not dating with the purpose. How long were you doing your now husband for three years before you guys got engaged married? Ye? Okay, see that's a long time I think that. I I mean, I definitely want to get married, right, I just don't know when I'll be ready for it, and I'm not gonna I'm not

trying to force anything. So I'm trying to I'm trying to to act as as genuinely as I would without trying to force something Like i'mout trying to have the pre conceived notion of I'm going to get married at like twenty or something like that. Right, And so I don't know how old were you when you knew that you were going to marry him? Uh, probably like about a year a year and a half after weird dating? Is this communication better than line like a very religious

like that ground? So like he was like tall when he was raised to like court women, you know, like to date them with the purpose, and like he shows that with his actions. That makes sense. And I don't appreciate this snicker, by the way, but that's okay. Um. I think that there is definitely something to be said about uh, that upbringing and how it kind of influences people nowadays. I think that people are kind of getting

away from that whole courtship thing. Um. I don't I don't know what the root cause of it is, but definitely see less and less of it, especially among people our age. I'm sure you have friends. I think a lot of it has to do with geography, Like Chattanooga is a smaller town, so I think that, you know, people are a little more prone to to being in relationships and kind of yearning for that versus um places like Los Angeles is like a very like family oriented

small town. Feel like, yeah, um, all right, Courtney, will thank you for the advice. I'll definitely work up my communication and I'll let you know about the whole Christina situation too. Yeah. Please, I'm like dying to see We'll see you about that one. All right, Courtney will have okay, all right bye. I think there is something to be said about geography. So even so, I grew up in

a small town in Colorado. Um, my high school graduated with like nine kids, and I think that there were several people that I went to the same high school of that were maybe a couple of years younger than me that I didn't know. Um, grand I knew everyone

in my graduating classause it was so small. But a lot of my friends even from that area, and a lot of the people that have reached out to me post show have said, I think that growing up in the valley has kind of made relationships much more difficult for us for one reason another I don't know why. I think that in such a small town, everyone's kind of really all about each other's business and they kind of know every facet and everything that's going on at

every given time. Um, I don't know how that could be constructive or destructive. But even like you look at like towns in the like South or Southeast corridor of the United States, I think a lot of those small town areas like they kind of are brought up thinking, uh, being instilled with like a relationship ideas like marriage, young age, all that kind of stuff. I don't know if it's if it's caused from religion, whatever it is, but I

feel like there's like a mindset that they have. Are you saying you didn't you didn't like everyone knowing your business because it's such a small town. Did that bother you? I'm not saying I didn't like it or dislike it. Of course, it's kind of a bummer when you know everyone knows everything that you do every single weekend. There's definitely there's there's positives and negative negatives to it. But I'm just saying I think that geography has a lot

to do with the dating habits of our generation. It's just interesting that you chose to go on a reality show you didn't necessarily love everyone knowing your business, you know what I'm saying. I think as a a teenager that's growing up and learning out of a lot about himself, it's hard to have a lot of your things be so widely known, you know, because it's just awkward and uncomfortable a lot of like like sex and and king

out and all that kind of stuff. But as I've obviously gotten older, I've become a little bit more comfortable with it. UM i e going on on a national television show. But I just think that there's definitely something to be said, like people in Los Angeles UM have a different dating habit or different dating history than people from UM. I don't know, chatting noo, good Tennessee. You know. So, I don't know, it's just the thought that I had. All Right, Well, thank you for tuning in to episode

eight of Help I Suck At Dating. This was a fun one. We just got to talk to a lot of people calling in. We obviously had Easton and Mark chime in quite a bit. They're always just great to have on UM. I'm sure a lot of You have a lot of thoughts to share after this episode. If you want to share them, you can email them too. I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. Again, that's I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. Feel free to shoot some emails over We'll do our

best to get to them. Um. Honestly, that's that's one of the best parts, because they're you know, real life stories and and I don't think I can provide much help, but I can at least provide a perspective that maybe will shed light on certain things. Obviously, Mark and Eastern are a little bit more well versed with the whole relationships. But again that's I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com. You can always tweet at me, um, send me a dem on Instagram, whatever it is. But thank you for

tuning in to help I suck at dating. I'm Dean Anglert and maybe next week I'll suck a little bit less. Follow help I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.