#54 Let's Get it Together!

name is Lauren Burger. Lauren, Hello out there? Are you there? I'm here. Hi, guys, Hey Lauren, We're great. How are you good? Well? Thank you so much for joining us. I did pronounce your last name correctly, right? Burger Burger Burger perfect? Yeah, that's perfect. I thought of burgermeister from Santa Claus is coming to town? Anybody? And oh, I'm glad you got that reference Burger based meister Burger great well, Burger jokes aside, Lauren, tell us a little bit about yourself. Well,

thanks for having me on the show. CEO and founder of a website called career Queen dot com and intern Queen dot Com. Both are free websites. That help people get from where they are to wherever they want to be. And my third book just came out today, which is

very exciting. So it's called Get It Together, and it's all about it's all that how busy we are and how we all want to kind of disconnect and how we need to disconnect if we're ever going to be seeing people and just how to you know, work smarter and not harder. When when you say disconnect, what do you mean by that? Because we haven't had in the past someone who said she dropped her phone to better

connect with the people around her. Is that kind of what you're talking to Yeah, yeah, exactly, And just you know, um, we're also anxious, We're also stressed, we're also overworked. You know, something that I started doing is I stopped scrolling Instagram before I go to sleep, Like when I go upstairs to go to bed, Instagram does not come, you know, And it's really kind of training yourself to not look at those things that are just going to kind of give you, you know, a little bit of anxiety, so

not to get person. What do you do before you fall as? Do you read? Now? Um, I I read, I'll go to like shopping websites, because for me, that's relaxing and I'm not getting caught up in what other people are doing. But I've really found that disconnecting. I even I'm the CEO of a company. I've been running it for ten years. It's super successful. I took my email off my phone and I got a lot of

guilt trips about it. But you know what, I'm okay, the business is okay, and I'm so much you know, I'm just better able to connect with the people around me. I'm more engaged with conversation. So I think it's really all about that disconnection. While while on the topic of anxiety, quickly, I've noticed myself before falling asleep, especially lately, maybe over the past six month or so, I'm getting incredibly anxious, especially when I'm watching a show that I've already watched before.

Like if I was put on in the office, I'm okay, I'm not like benefiting anything from it, you know. And so it's like I'm sitting there and I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Like I'm not dating anything from anything, and I would like you go to sleep anxious, and I most sometimes it makes me feel more comfortable when I'm watching a show that I know, well, that's before I go to bed, That's

what I'm used to doing. Like I said, I've watched off as maybe like twenty times from trying to finish. But now I'm like, well, where is the utility in that? Like why I should be reading or you're doing something more constructive. I guess yeah, And I feel like it's about Like in the book, I talk a lot about knowing your need. That it's knowing what works for you. You know what makes you anxious, what doesn't, and then really you know, making sure that you follow that you

follows through um on. You know, whatever is going to relax you and whatever's gonna help you disconnect. It's different for everybody. So would you say that disconnecting for you isn't necessarily getting off your phone or the internet, but it's more so getting off of social media. For me, disconnecting is getting off of social media. I don't want to look at who my boyfriend from high school is dating. I don't want to look at a competitor, you know,

the other career coaches in the land. Um you know, I want to disconnect to a funny I did another podcast with a rav reality star and maybe you guys can relate to this because of the nature of your jobs. And I was telling her that for me, I can go to tmz dot com and that helps me disconnect, and she was like, not for me, that just makes me feel like I'm not cool enough and I should

be going to the nice guy every night. So I don't know how you guys feel about that, but for me, you know, social media, I can I disconnect by not being on Instagram, but I can relax by going on like t m Z or some you know, celebrity gossip site. Um, so what got you started into this industry anyway? Because you're your big thing is about finding an internship and you have a YouTube successful YouTube channel about it, You've written three books. How did you even begin to start

this process? Yeah? So I had fifteen internships when I was in college, which is kind of crazy. Yea. Yeah. I live in l A now also, and um when I was trying to find an internship, no one could help me, and I just wanted a better way and a better resource. So I started intern Queen with five

thousand dollars of personal savings. I've never taken any investment money and you know, ten years later, not only do we have intern Queen Um, which helps people get internships and career advice, but we also launched the Career Queen Network. What's the Career Queen Network? So correct, I should have followed up with that. Career Queen is is kind of

the six sister site to intern Queen. So now we can help all of those young people that kind of grew up with intern Queen, we can help them connect with kind of the next step, which is that job. So it's uh, you know, free job advice. M I love that. No, that's really cool. Um, it's interesting too because obviously we're a dating podcast, and so from your perspective being very busy in the career world internships, I mean, you have fifteen internships during college. Um, if you don't

mind me asking, are you you're married? Correct? I'm married, yes, and my husband's actually an entrepreneur, so that definitely helps. So how in your personal opinion do you balance work with relationships? Yeah, you know, I think it's about prioritizing and even for people that are driven by work like myself, I think and I talked about this in the book too.

It's so important to put family and relationships first. And like I said, my husband Um runs the business, runs his own business as well, and so if we wanted to, we could both be on our phones all day, all night. But it's really a matter of saying, Okay, you know, this is disconnection time for us. It's when I get home. We always go for a walk. We hall it taken a loop around the neighborhood, and it's our time to leave our phones home and for an hour just kind

of connect with each other. So I think it's about prioritizing, you know, a couple time and really taking that just as seriously as you were taking meeting for work. Well, I think to the stuff that you help others with, like curving anxiety, disconnecting, all that kind of stuff then plays into being a better partner and leads to more successful relationships at I would imagine it would. Yeah, absolutely, I mean, how are you going to meet a guy

at a bar if you're sitting there scrolling on your phone? Right, Like, you have to be kind of present and you have to take in every experience and really kind of make the most of it. And then you know, it's funny, My intern queen message is put yourself out there and don't take no for an answer. And I feel like in the dating world, you know, I think that's important to you. Why I I don't. I believe in putting

yourselves out there. I'm always telling my single friends, like, you know, go up to your go up to that guy, introduce yourself, Like what's the worst that can happen? He's gonna say no, who cares? You know, then he's not the right guy anyway. So I'm all about just putting yourself out there and really not following too many rules while dating. I mean I certainly did not play it cool at all when I met my husband. Cool. I mean, I'm just not cool, sound awesome. I mean, you know,

you're not supposed to. Most of my friends if they meet a guy, like, they won't tax, they won't call. I was texting and callative NonStop. Up. I think I asked him to take me. I was like, hey, after like our second day, it was like, I'm flying back into l a X. You should really take me up from the airport. You know. I really didn't wait for him to make the move. I knew what I wanted and I didn't want to pause for her game thing. I guess, so I just kind of went for it.

I respect that. I respect that a lot. And you just put yourself up there, your very forward. It's not going to work out right when someone's obviously got to kind of get the ball role and with all that kind of stuff as well. So quick question in your book this, I believe it's this new one that came out right, there's a steam guiding principles did you have in there that you've outline right? Yep? So could you give us like a quick maybe top three of the

seventeen guiding principles that you want to share with the listeners? Yeah? I think you know. One of my favorite ones is do things based on your method, not your mood. A simple example of this is, you know, you say you're not going to go to the gym. A friend said to me last night, like, do you want to go to the gym tomorrow or are you gonna be too tired? I'm like no, no, no, Like, the plan is to go to the gym. We're not going to roll on my mood, which would be being tired. You know, we're

gonna go. We're gonna stick to the script here and the and the script said, I want to go to the gym. So do things based on your method and not your mood. Your mood doesn't matter, you know. You really got to stick to the script and you know, stick to your plan. And the same advice goes towards if you're having a bad day. Two weeks ago, I had two of my employees quit out of nowhere. It was a terrible day. But if I let that throw

my whole day, I wouldn't have gotten anything done. So when that happened, I stuck to the script and I followed through in my original schedule for the day, and I just got I got things done, you know. So I think that one of the most important pieces of the of advice in the book is I talked about that a lot um. The other is embracing rejection. I started my business with five thousand dollars. It's doing really well. And if I would have let the nose or the

rejection stop me, I wouldn't be anywhere. So I always say, like, get married to rejection, you know, embrace rejection, Love rejection, because it really helps me get from where I was to where I am today. Do you have a secret to everybody listening on how to better handle rejection, because I think for me personally, it's really tough being told no, no, no,

and then keep really being persistent and moving forward. Do you have any type of secret that you can tell everybody be like, listen, this is how you can accept and move on with rejection. We should get Ashley to come and speak to that. One thing that I really like doing. And maybe this is kind of a tip, is whoever rejects you, whether it's you know which, maybe you're going after a job or um, you're pitching your opportunity.

When that person rejects you, friend that person on LinkedIn, become their best friend and stay in touch with them three times a year. Turn that no into a yes. And I'm telling you I've been doing this for over ten years, and there are so many deals that I get, so many cool brands that I work with, and I've been after those people for three years, you know, and they've been saying no for years. But I turned that

no into a yes simply by staying in touch. So I really think that um, you know, taking it manage of those contacts that you're getting, even the people that are saying no can really help. I think that was so before, maybe a couple of years ago, I was in a sales role at a staffing agency, and in those sales roles, you are constantly being told no, and I just think my psyche was unable to handle it.

Got to the point where I was like, you know, you talked to a hundred people a day and all hundred people say no, But then the next day, like nine people will say no, one will say yes. I just like I wasn't really able to get past that that roadblock for me personally. So I wish I had a book like yours to read when I was Yeah, and it's funny you say that I have a whole chapter about refining your goals, and I talked about exactly that,

which is for me. I like to know the numbers like and this might sound a little crazy, but as a as a businesswoman, I know that if I spend a hundred cold pitch emails, I'm probably going to get about ten responses. I'm probably going to get on the phone with five of those people. I'm going to close one deal. And the power of knowing your numbers is really big because then you don't have to get caught up in the nose. You already expect them, you know

they're going to happen. Yeah, it's very true. Yeah, I think that that same logic can apply to dating, as Jared was saying too, just because well and same with how you met your husband. Obviously, you've got to be persistent, especially if you know it's something and someone that you want. And I can go a long way, especially in today's landscape and and dating world, I feel like, yeah, absolutely, yeah, agreed, Lauren, thank you so much for joining us today. We really

appreciate it. So please tell everybody where they can find you. Yeah, absolutely, Well, you guys can follow me at Official Career Queen and at Internal Queen. I'm gonna send you guys messages after this and then Get It Together is out today, so you guys can get it on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, atok Milion or anymore work books are sold. Great, We'll make sure everybody pick up a copy today. Get It Together. We should have you jump on Ben's podcast Lady Bosses.

I feel like they'd be Yeah, definitely, I would love doing. I'm a huge Bachelor fan, So I love to you guys, and you guys are coming at Lauren. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. Thank you again for calling in, Lauren. It's it's great to hear you're doing great. Talk to you soon. All right, Thanks Lauren. Well, she was very sweet. That was very nice. I think a lot of that lodge that she obviously is more of a business centric minded person, but I think a lot of that logic

can apply to dating as well. Oh, I agree the the idea of failing but then trying to still be persistent because everybody, like how many times you've been we've had messages about people being rejected or dates not working out, and they just feel so deflated they never want to go on another date again. But here's a woman who's saying, no, what you need to do is just keep pushing and accept the know and accept the rejection, but understand that it will get better and just to keep pushing forward.

That's a good message. It's like when my body tells my tells my head to work out. Yeah, it's like when I look in the mirror every day and I'm like, you know what, it's just not worth going to the gym because I'm not gonna because you just don't want to drive to the gym that and I just I'm like, you know what, I'm not going to see any results, but you just gotta push through that. It's the method, not the mood. Jared in one way to develop the

best method. As far as I'm concerned, beach Body on Demand, I completely agree. I love beach Body on Demand. You've heard us talk about it before, You'll hear us talk about it again. You're gonna hear us talk about it right now a little bit more. It's an easy on demand streaming service that gives you instant access to a wide variety of super effective workouts you can do from the comfort of your living room. I think that's what Jared and I love most about is you don't have

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perfectly honest with you, guys. I've been slacking a little bit and I'm getting a little dully around this the mid region. I'm not doing my hip hop abs as much as I should be, but I'm gonna get back to it. I'm kind of glad that winter is coming up because I'm gonna be wearing my shirt a lot more than obviously in the summertime here in Los Angeles. The nice thing about Beach Body on Demand you can

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I was actually looking through old pictures of like when I was traveling, because I was just in Mexico with with my buddy Courtney, and I posted a picture and everyone was like, Okay, dad, bod weird flex whatever it is, And so I was like going through my old pictures. I was like, I should probably post a picture from when I was doing Beach Body on Demand to remind myself that I can sometimes have hip hop app Dean, you do not have a dead bod whatso ever. But

sometimes I do that too. I'll look at old pictures of myself and just I'll, i'll, i'll fat shame myself. I'm like, you, you piece of crap. You need to get back in the gym. Look at you look so much better then, and look at you now. Look how horrible you look now? Exactly? You have beautiful fiance. You need to get your ass back in the gym. Can we get a time? Can we give an ness on the phone. I miss hearing her voice. Let's let's get her. Let's get her on the phone and get her on

the phone. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, I'm just talking to everyone in the studio right now, not the listeners, per se. Okay, so continue listen to last week's episode of The Finessic Maldi. Her good friend Brandy Cyrus joined her as a co host. Oh look what the cat dragged in? Um, I missed you guys. We want to do you more? Do you want to do FaceTime audio or is this okay? We can't do FaceTime audio, so we're gonna do it this way. What's up, Vanessa? Uh?

Not much. I was waiting for you guys to call me listen. Full disclosure. I don't care anymore. Vanessa Texas dan And said, don't have them coming right now. I'm pooping. So the question is, Vanessa, are you still pooping? No? I washed my hand and sitting on my shower now in my kitchens that we're good. Yeah, it's okay. We all pumped out. I loved it, loved it. So, Vanessa, you had a solo podcast last week that um I did you listen to? And just can you give, like

everybody a brief summary of what you talked about. Yeah, so, first of all, I keep messaging well, I keep putting it out there. All the thank you for people who have been listening, who did listen to week's episode. Brandy Cyrus was on l through the mendep even had Dr Jennifer um who basically told me, then the next six months, I'm going to detox from everything. And I remember what she said about like the last thirty years, like something

about the moon and the stars or something. Anyway, we're moving into the year at the age of Scorpio or something. Isn't that right right now? Yeah? Something that Um, everything that I've learned the last thirty years, I've learned, I've I've grown from it, and now I'm you know, I'm I'm going to move on into like bigger and better things.

So it was like a really great I guess the reading I can call it that, But I really opened up about my dating life, the last person I was dating UM and how that didn't work out, and how you can be really disappointed when even if you're dating someone for like a week or three months or whatever, which is really funny. I was just on the phone with with Taylor no one from UM. We were on the same season, and I'm like, why am I still I'm not still bothered by it? But yesterday we were

talking about men and whatever. She was supposed to go want a date, and she got ditched on her date. And then I was like, you know what, right, I know, Taylor is like such a great catch, but that's the thing. Most women, most of my friends are such great catches, and yet we're still single. And then She brought up a really good point though. She's like, well, what's sad is even nowadays, dating someone for three months is a significant amount of time. And I'm like, it's so sad

but true. Oh yeah, I think about that all the time. I think about like, like if somebody's like, oh my marriage ended after ten years, it's like, oh, well ten years. Wow? And then you're like, oh, wait a minute, that's not supposed to last ten years's supposed to last a lifetime. Whatever happened with that guy that Taylor was seeing before you guys went to BALLI together. Uh, that's her story to tell. But I really liked guy. She's really good guy.

Since she's not here, Vanessa, can you tell a story for her? Oh? I can't tell a story for her. But that's fair. Well, Vanessa, you talk about moving on to bigger and better things. What are some of those bigger and better things you think? Um? I think right now I'm just out of And I have to say, all the messages that people were sending me from last

week's episode, they were so uplifting. I got so many stories of women saying they were single for so many years and they kind of just like give up and lost hope on finding the love of their life, and then a couple of months later they found the person.

They're married and they're pregnant with their third child, And basically a lot of these messages were just telling me, enjoy the time that you have being single, because when it happens, that happened so quick, UM, and you don't even realize that you're walking down the aisle, you know. So it's so it was so interesting to get that perspective from women and men UM. I think right now, I'm just at a point where I'm back to UM

and I've spoken about this before. Whenever I go through a little bit of a heartbreak, it takes me, you know, like give me like two weeks to really talk about

it and would be really really upset. And then after that it's like kind of like the flu goes away and I'm like, oh, I woke up and I'm so much better from a point where yeah, it's out of my system, I d talks from it UM and I'm just focusing on work and focusing on on UM, spending time with my friends and my family, and just really being present and valuing the positive energy that I have around me, and I'm so lucky to have such amazing people around me, and sometimes when we're going through um

tough times, we tend to forget how amazing our life really is. So I'm at that stage right now. That's my big better thing totally. I find myself doing it all the time where I think about the bad things happened in my life and I just completely ignore all the good things and you have to really kind of send yourself and realize I have a pretty good life,

you know, you just put everything in perspective. Um. The reason I asked about bigger and better things because um, it's on the Facebook group, which, guys, if you're listening, you haven't joined the Facebook group, get on it. What are you doing the Facebook group and Instagram? Do you run the Instagram? I run the Instagram? All right, So so you're pretty much following two accounts by Dean, which

sounds like a wonderful idea if you're asking me. But on the Facebook group, I was asking like if anybody had any questions they wanted us to answer, and one by Rachel said five year plans, Like she wants to know what is our five year plan? Doan? Do you have a five year plan. I don't even have a five day plan. I don't know what I'm gonna be doing. He has a five hour plant. That plan. You just got off a plan right, You're in Buffalo, Adjason, Like five am flight from Buffalo to l A this morning.

What is it? That's a good question on a five year plan, because I feel like it could be pretty important to set something like that for yourself. But we just had Lauren on the podcast who said that, like you should follow a script. So Vanessa, she was kind of saying what you were just saying, as well, We're like you just kind of have to accept rejection and and and and accept like certain nose in your life, but able to like overcome them. And so sure ideas

like sticking to the script, so to speak. So like you have script of what you're gonna do for the day, for the we, for your life, so on and so forth, and you need to keep following that script no matter how many knows you get, no manta, how the rejections you get. And that's kind of what you were just speaking upon. Yeah, I was actually watching one of her

YouTube channels, um and they spoke about rejection. But when it came to being rejected from from work, but I apply that to the dating world, and it's so true when you get rejected, it's like, oh, stop to the heart, you know, because I was just talking to Taylor about how she got basically rejected and ditched on a date that she was supposed to go on this week, and

it it just stung. Is stick your eagles bruised. But then at the same time, you like take the high road, don't like, don't get into that state of being super emotional and spending a text message or really going after them and giving them the attention when you should just take a step back, like thank them for their time and and um you know, like, I think it's important to always have, um, a good relationship with everyone that came into your life because they came into your life

and they left the right time. I'm really starting to believe that. And we have this conversation last episode two. Everyone that comes into our life teaches us a lesson, and they're going to stay in our lives as long as they need to teach us that lesson. All right, question for both of you guys, then I wasn't going to share this. Well, I've been molling something over in my head. So I'm going to South America next week

for three weeks. Uh, and it just so happens that Leslie lived in Argentina for two years, and so Vanessa, to your point, I wanted to reach out to Leslie and be like, hey, we haven't talked obviously since the breakup. I wanted to reach out and be like, hey, I know you obviously travel a lot, you know a lot about South America. Would you be willing to give me some recommendations, tell me what I should and shouldn't do, etcetera, etcetera. I wouldn't go directly to what it is that you

need to maybe asked her. Yeah, I would be like, hey, you know, like it's sad that we haven't really been in contact of blah blah blah blah um. I'll make it about her in the first like two or three lines and then be like, you know, I was also I thought about you. You crossed my mind because I'm going to South America, and I figured it sounds like a kind of a little bit of a lead on

though lead but not a lead on. But just you know, if you're writing to someone that you haven't spoken to a while and the first thing is like, hey, I eat it. Can you figure out like my tanuary for South America? It's like, so, just like a couple of recommendations, but I see what you're saying and definitely makes a lot of sense. I battle with this sometimes in my own life, where I I think, Okay, I not that I need something from somebody, but obviously I'm reaching out

to someone for something specific. So do I try to beat around the bush at first and be like, hey, how are you? What's going on? Cool? By the way, this, is it better to do that or is it better to just be like, hey, hope all as well? I was curious about dot dot dot dot. See that's what

I think is better than what the relationship was. It was, well, even if it's even if it's like a friend or an X, I think in any capacity I would rather just kind of know what's going on right out of the gates, because it is weird to be like what do you want? If you're just reaching out and being like hey, I was thinking about you, how are you? But I wouldn't be sending I wouldn't send like a

message like hey thought about you sent? So I would say, hey, I see you know, like maybe go on her Instagram see which she's been up to. I see that you've been I'm actually also going to be traveling to South America and you crossed my mind because I know you lived there for a couple of years or whatever the cases.

Would you have any recommendations? I wouldn't. I wouldn't start a conversation like hey, send and then I would if I would get that from the next I'd be like, oh my god, did you want to get back with me? Like are they going to apologize? So if Ne sexted you and said, hey, I'm going to be in Montreal, Nick would never text me hypothetically asking okay, um, if he would text me, I would I would. I obviously know he wouldn't want to get back with me, but

I would be like, h hey, what's up friends? Right? But I'm saying, like, if you if you had something specific he's like, oh, I'm going to Italy and I want a recommendation from an Italian. M hmm. Actually yeah, I would be like, oh, yeah, and here are the recommendations. Yeah. I guess it's tough. I feel like it might be one of those situations where you're damned if you do

and you're damned if you don't. Because if you reach out and you start off being very vague and friendly, then she might be like, just get to the point, like you could have just texted me and asked me for what you wanted. But then conversely, if you don't do that and you just reach out and ask for what you want, she might just be like, what a jerk. He didn't even like ask how I'm doing. He was just like, Hey, I'm going here. So I think you're screwed either way in day. So maybe it's best if

you don't reach out. Let me. Well, you know what, I reached out to someone today, So I don't know if you guys in the studio is marking the studio today with us? We're stuck with East. Hey can I help? Hey? Okay, remember when I was talking about this guy that I dated and for my birthday, all he sent me was a happy born day text? You tell me about that too. I think it's so about that happened what happy born which just wasn't not very fun? Right? So I we're

not we're not seeing each other anymore. And today I knew it was his birthday, and I'm like, you know what, I like being on good terms of people. I hate harboring negative feelings. The message might have been savage, but I thought it was funny. I sent him a message saying happy born day. He thought it was hilarious. He's like, thank you. I don't know that right back. I don't. I don't know if you really understand what the definition of savages for. Yeah, when she said savage, I was like,

I'm very curious for this conversation about to go. And then she was like, I said happy day, savage dragged him? Oh god, yeah, no, no, no no, where you're gonna say? Vanessa? So I posted on Facebook on Instagram to what kind of questions our listeners wanted to know or topics that they wanted us to bring up. And there was one oh I saw on Instagram. It was what do you think about sleeping with someone on the first date? Yeah, okay,

let's get to that one first date. So what's your question? Okay, So the question is backs on the first date, if it's really clicking, yes or no? Is that a good idea to sleep with someone? I'm gonna say no, it's a it's a hard. No, oh, not even maybe. I mean I'm not saying it can't work out. What I'm saying is I just find it always better to wait in the anticipation grow, let it blossom, because it's funny. I think it also depends on if you're listen. You know,

everyone can do their own thing. No judgment here, But if you want to deal with someone long term, then new I suggest waited out. But if it's someone that you're like, I want to have fun, I'm single. I don't think this is going to go anywhere, then why not? Well, I mean, if you're looking for just a hook up totally, why not, like hey, to reach their own No judgment here, but if you're asking me, like hey, to start off a really serious relationship, like I like this guy, should

I just sleep on the first night? No, like, make them wait, make it especially to be fun, Let the romance grow, let it blossom. Like there's something to be said about anticipation, especially for a guy like craving something, wanting something and not being able to get it, Like there's like this, it's this, it's this passion, you know, because you guys are hunters, we are we are providers, and we are hunters? Okay, So question for you a hunter, was I was gonna say, we need to gender stereotypes

of our generations. I mean, listen, no, Dean is Dean. Honestly, it is like the mushiest, sweetest person ever. I'm a nurture. I'm a gatherer. Yeah no, but you're you're also hunter, Derek for someone who now you you hunted, right and now you have Ashley's So do you feel like you still need to hunt being indeed not hunt other women? I'm saying, do you still feel like there needs to be a push and pull in the relationship? Yes? I do.

It keeps it alive, it keeps it fresh. Um, you know I I find times that it does certainly not stale. But we're so comfortable with each other that you forget that there is this fun to that pull and push within a relationship. Let me paint the hypothetical scenario for you real quick, Jared, and it's gonna get uncomfortable. Let's see you, Let's see you and actually are out in a year or so from now, just out out and about having fun, doing your thing, having a little fun,

having a little fun. At this point, I guess you're married, right, because it's year from now, you meet a man or a woman, who do you, guys both just click with it, immedia and then you guys are like, what are you asking me now? If I'm open to have a threesome. Yes, I was going to try and get there more eloquently,

but yes, it's what I'm asking you. No, that's something you have, Like, No, I don't think so for the simple fact that, like it's gone to a point now with my relationship with Ashley where the idea of like having that intimacy with somebody else, even if Ashley was present, is something I'm not sure if I could go through

because I don't. I don't think i'd want that because like I mean, let's this is a little uncomfortable, I guess, but like sex just change, right, Like sex changes from the beginning of relationship as you go further into it.

It just it just does. And so I think, oh, man, the way I you know, it's just one of those things I I could never imagine myself physically being in that moment with somebody else than Nashley, right, even if present, and she was like, yes, I want this said in a year from now, I don't think if I've never had a threesome, Um, am I open to the idea? Yeah, um, but I don't know how I can do that because I only I am only intimate with people that I really really like and I really be connect to. And

I'm like, well, I don't want to share that. We're just gonna like we're gonna glaze over the facts just a minute that she is and wanting a threesome. I mean, I thought it doesn't but I guess no. I mean, that's fantastic. So I was with Jason and Blake this past weekend. We were talking about this, Like briefly, it was what would it take for you to be open

to the idea? And I think the unanimous answer between the three of us was, in the event that you are in love with the person that you're with and you love them dearly, whatever it is, then I think it's kind of off the table as a possibility. It is because it's just it's one of those things that like for me, and I don't want to speak for Ashly, but like, man, it's such a personal experience that, like you, when you were with somebody that you care so much about,

it's like I don't. I don't. I don't want to do this with somebody else, Like it's just it's weird. Now, I don't know. Okay, let's ten years or twenty years down the line, Well, who the hell knows? Like, if I'm being honest, I can't really project ten years from now being like my mindset or where Ashley and I

are within our relationship. Um, and so who knows. I mean, there's there's other ways to spice up your sex life without bringing somebody else into it though, So like I'll be honest, Uh, this is whatever Ashley and I have been to an adult store together. Okay, that's but like I feel like people are uncomfortable talking about that. Like it was it was just like we went it together and it was no, I know, it's not that intense, but it's also it's kind of like a little taboo.

I remember the first time I went into an adult story, it was was amazing. What was the intention of you and her going to the store together? Just like we were looking for something specific and uh, how specific? Specifically something specifically? But but no, and so you find what you were looking for we did, and uh, I don't know, I feel comfortable to talking about this anymore. One of those things that like you just have to be comfortable

going into, you know, exploring new territories of course. Okay, yeah, so back to the sex store thing. You found what you were looking for? Did you unpackaged it that night? Come on, And that's a little bit too far, I will say. So. The first time I ever went into an adult star wars like twenty two and I went in by myself at like two o'clock in the afternoon on a Friday, because I've never been in I've never been in a sex store, so I was like, I

need to experience this. I want to go in. I was probably two and um, and so I went in there and it was just me in this one other guy he was probably in his eighties, and he was in the DVD porn section and it was right. I was just the most endearing thing because you know, technology too. Thus this was like two twelve. This guy was still still going with the DVDs. Loved it, but it was

like this weird experience, but very cool. The the woman there was very friendly and she was like, Hi, if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know. And I'm like, oh love, just just looking around at all the fish nets and uh oh this this is very nice too. You want to know what wasn't around back in two thousand two, what would have maybe been would have been helpful for you after that traumatic experience. Well, I don't know traumatic. I'm just saying if you needed it,

it would have been around talk Space. You guys have read us talk about talk Space before. They're one of those sponsors of today's show, the online therapy company that lets you message a license therapist from anywhere at anytime. All you need is a computer with Internet connection or the talk Space mobile app. That means you can improve your mental health, even if you've had trouble making time for it in the past. Say you're at a sex shop and you just want to squeeze in a quick

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obviously is one of our UM favorite ones. So again, go to talk space dot com slash Dean, that's t A K T a l k Space s P a c E dot com slash d e a N and use the code d e a N to get forty five dollars off your very first month. Be sure to check it out. UM. Maybe you can, you know, work through some of the issues that you've had seeing some of those sites in the sex store that you might have might have had to deal with you know, yeah, you know, it's very it was. It was eye opening

experience a few years ago. Now it's fun obviously. What else do we want to talk about? Well, I kind of it's interesting to get through some of these questions that people had, either through Vanessa's Instagram or the Facebook group on Sure once you ask one and then I'll ask one. Um, okay, well this is an interesting one. Hold on here, just wiping through it. When is it okay to start discussing marriage in a relationship? So my answer was true but never true. Who said that, Dean?

Did you do you want to marry? Read? Well? No, how did we jump to that? I'm really surprised that Dean said is never too early? Well, I'm just saying that it's just good to communicate those important of mars. Yes it did. Okay. My My answer is if you're in a place where you know you want to be in a serious relationship, then yeah, it's never too early.

But if you're single and you want to have fun and you want to just connect people and which you want to connect with people and just meet people, then not don't bring marriage up, because that's just going to ruin it. Yeah, well, I think probably the person asking is in some sort of committed relationship, so they're probably asking. Like, so hypothetically, say two people are dating, they're in a

committed relationship, they are exclusive boyfriend girlfriend. How long do you think into the relationship should they maybe start discussing, Hey, is marriage on the table for you? I like, I said, I don't think it's ever too early because for the simple fact that say, they are misaligned on their thoughts of marriage, future plans, whatever it is. And then they go through a year two of dating without discussing it.

Come to find out one wants to get married, one doesn't want to get married ever, like not just for the person, but just they don't believe in marriage whatever it is. Then boom, there goes two years of your life dating someone that wasn't can fulfilled what you wanted to have. I had a traumatic experience. The love of my life after two years, admitted that he wasn't sure

if he wanted kids. And this is after us looking for house with like five bedrooms and talking about baby names and all that, and then one morning he wakes up he's like, I don't know if I want kids and that was my window of who talked about by name. Yeah. Yeah, it was really messed up. So he's like, well, I love I love a baby name. I love the name Dean, but I don't ever want kids. But I've never had kids.

I think he I think what happened was he was in a relationship that he was really happy with and uh, he wanted to be able to give me that, but he wasn't sure if he wanted that, so he was being selfless for me. But at the same time, I think he just needed to explore other things in life before he got there. So that was very traumatic for me. And after that relationship, that was one of my first questions.

I'm like, dude, do you want kids? Not that I want to have kids with you, but maybe one day I might want to have kids with you, So I kind of need to know if you do or don't. I think that might be a shortcoming for me when it comes to relationships is I don't know exactly what I want. I I I see myself getting married at some point in life, but I'm also not a h certain about it. So like, if I were to meet someone that was like, I don't want to ever get married,

I don't ever want to have kids. I would almost be like, Okay, well let's see if this works out anyways. But I know I definitely want kids at some point. But again I'm like, I'm not steadfast and being wanting to have kids and all like all that kind of stuff, but I do. But like I said, I think that I want kids. But if someone came along and like two years into a relationship, they're like, I don't want kids, I would almost like it wouldn't be a deal breaker

for me because I'm kind of a pushover like that. Yeah, no, I agree. I think I don't agree or a pushover. I agree on your point. I think that it's okay for people to change your mind. Like something that you wanted five years ago isn't necessarily something that you want now. So like, sure, right now, you might say I'm thinking about marriage and I want kids, But then five years from now you're with somebody and you're like, you know what, we don't need to get married. We love each other.

We can just spend the rest of your lives without signing paperwork. And then furthermore, I kind of changed my mind. I I don't think I want to bring kids into this world. I don't think i'd be a good dad, so on and so forth, even though that's completely wrong, because and you make a fantastic father. You're very You're a very, very warm human being. Have you actually discussed

baby names or anything like that. Yeah, totally. We both want kids, And I was kind of what I was getting too, because for me, I always imagine myself getting

married and have the kids. But honestly, over the past couple of years, my mom was going back and forth whether I ever wanted to get married, whether I wanted kids to start a family, And it wasn't until Ashley and I started dating, and then I knew that this was something I wanted to somebody I want to spend the rest of my life with that I realized, this is this is the woman I want to have kids with.

Because for me, I wanted kids, but it was more important for me to have kids with the right person because I've seen friends and family members go through that difficult times where they've had kids unexpectedly with somebody that they're no longer with, and it really just causes so much stress on everybody involved that for me, I was like, I want to make sure that I find the right person before start trying to have kids. I don't even

think it's just unexpectedly having kids with someone. I think it's the ment reality, the old school mentality of at a certain age you should find someone and you should get married, and either the expectations as society puts on us, especially on women, and I think often times the relationships end up dying out because that's what we thought we needed, and that's what we thought we needed to do at that time in our life, but we just needed to

explore other options and figure out our own, you know, careers, and figure out we're changing. So often we need to be able to be comfortable with ourselves before we're comfortable being with someone and bringing another person into this world. My parents got divorced when I was eighteen, and I come from a very traditional Italian family. We were the I think one of the first Italian families to be

divorced in our community. So it was really hard for me to um to process that because I didn't have anyone that really understood what I was going through, and I come from a traditional background where I'm like, how am I supposed to be dealing with this? Right? Now when all I ever knew and understood and believed in with the family unit and coming home to a mom

and dad in one household. So for me, it was really hard, and I think that's why, Um, I'm like very I'm happy that I'm still single at this point at thirty one, and the heartbreaks that I'm going through are very minimal compared to what my parents had to go through. And so I want to make sure that that I do end up with the right person, um and who has the same values as I do, Like I want to be with someone. He's like, yeah, I want kids, I want that family. I yeah, I want

that unity to take a step backwards. While I was going to talk about for can just to throw it in there for women too. It's not just society about having kids, it's also the biological clock, like and that's the real thing that that women are scared of. Say, we've we've all agreed to do that, it's not her decision anymore. And then when you and Vanessa get married, Dean and you guys you can have plenty. You didn't even bring up marriage. He's just like, let's have babies.

To take a step back. J Dean before we jump into Thrive Market, which is phenomenal. Would you be willing to talk about your Ashley's conversations as it pertains to kids, like how many you want baby names? Like all that kind of stuff. Have you discussed that and would you be willing to like she feels she doesn't want to say the baby name because she's terrified if somebody's stealing it, which is absurd because I'm sure there's plenty of names that this name seven. I'm not saying that. I'm not

I don't want to get yelled at. Okay, how many kids you plan on having? We want four teens, so I love it, Come on, big family, um. But to move forward, we want to move forward with a wonderful product that we are all very familiar with, Thrive Market. Dean tell us a little bit about Thrive Market. I've been talking about it all day off air, but Thrive Market basically is a revolutionary online marketplace on a mission

to make healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. I love that all of our sponsors are good companies like Thrive Market, Beach Body on Demand to obviously get your button totally. Thrive as a non GMO has non GMO foods. Natural products are always at five below traditional retail prices. We actually have Thrived in studio right now. Well it's

just me aiming, But so here's what I did. Because I don't trust you guys to do things for yourselves because you're lazy, I went on Thrive and shopped for you. I was blown away, Like I have to tell you, guys, I knew what it was. You gotta go check it out because it's basically like everything you would get at Whole Foods. It's fantastic for so much less. I could

not believe how affordable it was. So I got you guys presents kind of asked you, guys what your favorites are, So Jared, I got you the Justin's Milk chocolate peanut butter. I got because I know you always are hungry and needs snacks, so I got you Classic Round crackers, all super healthy, non gmo, and then Annie's homegrown snack mix. So it's like your favorite. It has your like cheddar thing, your pret cheddar guy. Yeah us. Then you guys, this

is what's amazing. I started shopping for my nieces so they have toys, so you can get all the toys. So I got my niece a little watering can like an um sesame street watering can, and like a backpack slash lunch bag. I'm telling you, guys, I got everybody everything box. It's I know, it's cute. I'm a little disappointed because I thought the backpack was for me. Okay, you can use it back It's like a monkey and they had a ladybug too. But you could do all

your shopping there, like it's literally for the holidays. You could do everything and it is not expensive. That is what blew my mind. And then I thought this will never make it in time. It got here so fast, like I did not know enough about this. So I'm really telling you go to Thrive market dot com. I'm telling you guys, just shop around on there, because this

exceeded my expectations. And so, not only is Thrive really cheap to begin with, it ships directly to your door, so it takes the hassle of trying to go to the supermarket park carrying on the bags. Literally it gets shipped so quickly right to your door. You can go

to Thrive market dot com. Not only is Thrived already below traditional retail price, but you can go to thrive market dot com slash dean and guess what You're getting an additional believable first order and a thirty day free trial, and you can order wine and you can order one your alcohol in there as well. Perfect. My favorite thing about thrive is their eco friendly cleaning, Like they have eco friendly, non toxic products, non GMO food, it's all stuff.

That's mean. I got your Lufa sponge. I forgot what do I use the LUPA sponge with? Because you mean, because you don't want to use the soap. I mean, I know, but you could still you can say, Okay, I'm gonna use the loop. I'm gonna report back next week and tell you guys how exfoliated my skin is because of the Lufa. You're never gonna go back one more time. For the listeners out there, you don't want to miss it. Thrive market dot com slash dean Jared

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for Christmas. Thrive. Gotta go with Thrive. Uh to go back to one other question moving forward from the Facebook group, So this is from Christie uh Dean, you might want to weigh on this. Christie says, if a guy texts you that he wants a girlfriend and you guys are already casually dating but seeing other people, is that just a twelve year old way of saying I want you

to be my girlfriend. So this guy, these two banda, this guy and girls kind of casually seeing each other and then he texted her saying, hey, you know I kind of want a girlfriend. Is he just beating around the bush. Well, at first, I don't like that to begin with because it's a little ambiguous, right, Like, it's not very clear. It's it's very unclear, And I I completely agree Christie where you're saying. It does sound like that he is just beating around the bush and trying

to ask you to be his girlfriend. Two schools are he could be doing that, or he could also be saying I want a girlfriend, which means you and I are not to be talking anyone. There's two schools of thought there. Neither of them are the most encouraging because

he's not clearly communicating what's going on. I personally, if I, let's see, I'm trying to put myself in his shoes, texting a girl I want a girlfriend, and they've been casually seeing each other but seeing other people, I would say that that means that he probably wants her to be his girlfriend. If I were to guess if I was seeing a girl and I texted her that it would be because I want her to be my girlfriend. Oh, Dan, you wouldn't message someone that, you would be more direct. Well,

I would not personally. But I'm saying, like I'm trying to put myself in his shoes and trying to help her out. It sounds like he wants to be her boyfriend. Just I'm trying to get like to the root reason. That's me. That's me thinking like, nah, if he wants no, because what if that's what he's doing, If he does want to be her her boyfriend, and that's his way of starting a conversation about that, he's just planting all

these crazy seas in her heads right now. Like if that were me, I'd be like, oh, is he telling me this because he thinks I'm a friend and he wants me to help them? Like is he going to talk to me about these other dates that he's been on? Does he want me to find him a girlfriend? Like why is he telling me he's talking to her like he's a friend? Like she's a friend. I want a girlfriend. You're not going to tell someone that you're dating I want a girlfriend. It's either I want to be with

you or how does that get crossed? Because she's right. I think I was twelve years old when I walked up to a girl that I was like talking to and I was like, I want you to be my girlfriend, and people looked at me like that was a weird thing to do. Well at twelve, you're just made fun of her liking anybody. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was more so of like how I approached the situation of you don't just ask someone to be your girlfriend.

You kind of just like let it culminate into being boyfriend and girlfriend who you have to ask at some point? How do you how do you approach the subject? Now? I mean obviously Jared is engaged, so maybe it's more towards vaness and I like, say you like someone yeah, and you're like, Okay, let's be boyfriend girlfriend, you just

walk ups and be like, let's be my girlfriend please. Now, I think you have the talk of being exclusive because for the first couple of weeks or month or whatever however you guys decide to be dating, be open and communicate what you're doing. If you're just exclusively dating each other, if you if you're being open to forming other connections with other people a k. Being on the Bachelor, and then once you realize I don't want to be dating anyone else, then you have the topic of being exclusive.

What do you think? Don't you think you might be the most adorable thing you've ever heard? If a guy walked up you after going on a few dates and it said, would you want to be my girlfriend? Yeah, you would know it sounds prety cute. I think like, I think, yeah, ask, I think it's the most adorable thing. If a guy's like, I I want you to be my girlfriend? What about asking to go steady? Because that's what I used to do. Said that on this podcast before.

But I think that's like a high school thing, right, did you ask in high school. No, no, I was like twenty no, this is this is my wife. I asked if she wanted to go say, hey, it worked, I'm married. Pretty that's the definition of steadiness. I think, like steady for me was like like, hey, they're going steady, what do you want to go study? That just reminds me of like it sounds like you're asking someone to hit the books with you because you gotta go to

the library and study for an exam or something. Hey you want to go study. God, maybe that's what she thought you were asking. Hey, you want to go hit the books and and learn about chemistry. It really wants to go study. Yeah, he really wants to go study. I think now like yeah, because it used to be like kind of not taboo, but it was like, you don't say girlfriend. Man, it's like you ask who steady steady? You guys are hanging out? Uh, you guys don't even

talk about it. You just stop seeing other people. I kind of like it, though, I kind of like white guys like, hey, my girlfriend, I've shared it before on this podcast about I mean, it's always kind of weird to bring up past relationships, right, but with less than I with Lesslie. Here we go, let's get weird with Leslie and I in Winter Games. I kind of I didn't want to have that like ambiguity of like what are we? Are we dating? Do you want to date

other people? So I was just I just like started referring to has my girlfriend, like like it was like a weekend happen in the relationships. You would like walk away and people would be like I'd be like, where'd my girlfriend go? And then eventually it was just like, okay, well we're boyfriend girlfriend. I was that serious. I mean, I don't know. I'm again, I'm a immature boy at times, Like I don't really know how to handle that situation. So my way of handling it was just like referring her,

referring to her to other people as my girlfriend. And then by like the fourth or fifth time I said it, she was like, why do you keep calling me your girlfriend? I was like, well, because you are my girlfriend, and she's like, okay, that's fine, you boyfriend. No, it was you're like no, no, no, no, a whole different conversation. Yeah, yeah, well's so let's slow the role. Okay, no, And I mean that's that's how I handled it again. I'm not sure if I would encourage other people to handle it

the same way, but it's one way to go about it. Um. I have obviously not had a girlfriend since then, so I'm overwhelmed in those relationships. Well, you know, you just take your time. You're focused on Dean right now, right focusing on Dean. Actually, there's so I was reading an article,

so this story about Nikki Bella. She's John um no, apparently, But I was just kinda I was looking up dating articles, you know, trying to get prepared for the podcast a little bit, and then I was reading one where Nikki Bella like finally spoke out about the relationship after John Cena, and she said, like, from what she could tell, Bella is like pretty much focusing on her own happiness right now, which doesn't necessarily that she needs to be with someone romantically.

She says, she's not even thinking about dating right now. She's been so busy working and spending time with her friends and family. It's not a priority. Um, Vanessa, what are your thoughts about that, because, like, do you think that's kind of a cop out? Like do you think what people say? You know, I'm I'm just not I can't even date right now because I'm so busy. I

think that's an actual thing. Yep. I when somebody says that they're just focused on their own happiness right now that they don't even want to like think about jumping into a relationship with somebody, no, I think that's so healthy. I think people oftentimes have that void that they need to fill, and they're like, oh, I need the attention or oh I need to be hanging out with someone. There's nothing more powerful and more nurturing than just being

by yourself and enjoying your own presence. I love, and I talked about this. I love being single, and when I'm single, I actually just work on myself. I focus on my career, I focus on my health, I focus on things that make me happy and make me whole, and and so I don't need to be going out

to find someone to fill that void. And then when I do meet someone, it's because there are a great addition to what I already have and what already buils on Sean, what are you talk about that, like the balance between finding your like making yourself happy on your own versus like trying to put effort into finding someone else and be in a relationship. I think I was

actually having a conversation just the other day about this. Um. I think it's it's hard to compartmentalize the things, especially like nowadays that we're not working traditional nine to five jobs, we don't have like the forty hour work week to

distract us from dating. And it's like, well, when you have a podcast about dating, and when you've been on TV shows about dating, then it's like life is surrounded by it, right, and so it's like, well, you you take a step back, and yes, of course, focus on yourself and prove yourself all that kind of stuff. And um, as I mentioned before, I'm doing that same thing right now as well. But it's hard when everything else kind

of brings it back to dating. It's like when you're trying to get dating out of your mind, but then you have to bring it up and talk about it so often. Um So that's kind of I mean, that's kind of where I'm at with it. It's like, yes, I'm trying to put it right now. Well, no, and like I said before, like I'm back dating again, like I've been going on dates. Well, I think what the quote that got me was that said, Nikki is not

even thinking about dating right now. She's been so busy working and spending time with her friends and family, And it just made me think, like, not to say that, you know, this quote care be dramatized, but it made me kind of reflect and be like, not even thinking about dating? And I was trying to think of the time when I was single. Man, was I not even

thinking about dating someone? Is that a Is that a thing where people are just like for a while she was engaged to someone, she was dating him, then she was with someone for years. I think that's so healthy if you're with someone for so long and then you kind of move a little bit of yourself when you're in a relationship and you let go of certain things

that you compromise. So I think right now she's probably back to finding herself again, and I think that's extremely healthy in order for her to get back to a place where she can invite someone else into her life. Yeah, I agree with that because I think, like you said, when you're in a relationship, I wouldn't necessarily say you lose a part of yourself, but a part of yourself becomes the other person. There's just a lot of dependency

within a relationship, which is a good thing. You know, you're in a relationship, hopefully a great one, very loving one. Like there's a part of you that becomes very dependent on the person, and when the relationship ends, it does feel like there's a part of your soul that just went missing. Um, and so I I I completely agree in us or where I think that there should be a grieving period of like you just trying to figure

out yourself and make yourself whole again. Um, what's that really, thumb one month for every year you were together something like oh okay, damn, No, I think no, because it's true. It's then what so if you dated my parents were engaged sorry married for eighteen years year and a half off. No, I don't think there's a timetable like I know that I know some people that have gone out of like

very intense relationship even marriages, and in six months. Yeah. Well, you know, we're we're pretty smart fellows over the pretty simple equation to be fart smellers, you know. Um. But before we go, before we we end the podcast, we want to talk about one more thing on here, which is something we've been talking about for a couple of

weeks here twenty three and me. Now, this is named after the twenty three pairs of chromosomes in your d N A their service, you guys know twenty three and the service provides you with over seventy five genetic reports about your health. Um. They can tell you if you're likely to be lactoast intolerant, uh, sleep movement, there's certain traits. They can figure out your eye color, your hair curl, all that good stuff. All you have to do is well, all you have to do is spit into a tube. Guys.

That's really so. They'll send you the tube that's provided in the mail. You send that spit back to the lab. Everyone has a DNA story you can find out yours. They have a new podcast called you Guessed It Spit Uh. It's on I Heart Radio with twenty three and me. The podcast discusses how science and DNA plays a role in society, in our lives, how your DNA story can be experienced today, and a whole lot more. Yeah Yeah.

The new podcast bit where the host sits down with the biggest artists and influencers of our time, including Emmy winning Darren Chris from the assassination of Gianni Versacia. If you guys haven't watched that show, it's phenomenal. UH singer Mike Posner, who has always been one of my favorites personally. UH. Subscribe to the Spit podcast to learn more about the DNA found in our spit to understand who we really are genetically and how we are connected to the world

around us. I remember reading a while ago an article about so the way that the chromosomes work is there's twenty three sets in women where they're all X is right, so it's twenty three pairs of X chromosomes, but in the men, that twenty three chromosome is an X Y pairing instead of an X X pairing. And I read that in like a thousand generations or something like that, that the male gender just might be completely eradicated because the Y chromosome can't is deterioring overtime and can't draw

from other X chromosomes because it's just so separate. So like in a thousand generations, the mail just might not even exist, which is just kind of weird to think about. How would we reproduce, Well, it's just like a theory obviously, So who knows, but um. Anyways, listen to the full episodes now on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. You're probably listening to this one on I Heart radio or I'm sure you can find

this spit podcast. Wherever you're listening to this one, check it out. It's called Spit with twenty three and me. They're fantastic. You're fantastic for listening in supporting our podcast. Yes you are. A big thank you to Thrive Market. You guys can go to Thrive market dot com slash Dean to get an extra off your first order and a free thirty day trial. Again, big thank you to

beach Body on Demand. You can get a special free trial membership including their new fourteen day results plan where you can lose up to nine pounds in the first two weeks when you text Dean D A N two thirty thirty thirty. And another big thank you to talk Space, you can match with the perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy. You go to talk space dot com slash Dean and use a code Dean D E A N to get forty five dollars off

your first month. A big Thank you to Lauren Burger. Definitely check out her new book, Get It Together. It's on shelves now. Dean, you're awesome, Vanessa, you're incredible. Guys, thank you so much for listening to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating, where next week hopefully we suck a little less. Follow help by Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa, and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast