#39 Return of the Stanger

joining us. Okay, Vanessa's on the line. I'm such a yeah, I'm such a fanity. First of all, guys, a little update. I do you know that I? Do you know that? I? But did you know that I picked you from the first episode that a Lot and Bennett, who are the showrunners, are the Bachelor. Big shout out to them. Jay kind of punched me and they said, who do you think is gonna win? I said Vanessa and it was they were trying to push me in the Curran field. I said,

he don't go for blonds. He's a brunette guy. You can't blame me on this. And I would call Daniel and Vinnie on the back channel night. Come on, you gotta tell me again. Tell me. They're like, you're close, but they wouldn't give me any information. And I picked you. You were my front runner but for that. But when Freddie marked into the studio, I heard her talking about how she wants to but no, here's the way way to slow down. I have equal opportunity for male and females,

and all bachelor and bachelor girls are welcome. Olivia Cardi is one of my friends brand All of them are out there. But my assistant saw your ex twice this week at Whole Foods and girls were swarming, and I think he just likes to walk. Next time she sees him, is gonna take off a shirt and walk down the Whole food sile. I mean that's basically what's happening here. I mean he's looking good. I would do that too if him. Okay, so you wouldn't. Would you move back?

Are you living in l A? Are you still in Canada? So I'm back. I'm back home in Montreal. I was in Toronto, yeah the second I was in Toronto right now? Florida? Wait, what part of Florida? I'm from there? Are you from Laterdale? I went to Universus Miami. I'm from Miami. All right, so this is what I will do. I will fix you up. The you look Jared no Whets guys on so old that the years that they were the number one football team in the world before they took Payola

was when I was there. That's all old I am. But I'm old enough. You all could be my prom children. Stop that now you don't look at but Vanessa, I'm going to fix you up, and Jared's gonna give me your information and we're gonna we're gonna get this party started because I know a lot of Florida guys. Wait a minute, Vanessa, you're saying you're gonna go on a million dollar Matchmaker. Maybe actually we might be doing match Real Matchmaker, Like maybe Bravo will want to do Matt

Real Matchmaker. Okay, so because I have a feeling that God, you would be really good on Matchmaker. Actually yeah, and Jared and and Ashley should come on and give some advice. I always want to know because I was there during the Jared and Ashley instant, had backstory on that. I love to hear some story later on. We still got Vanessa. So Vanessa, I totally will fix you up. I would probably give some dating advice. There a couple of things I didn't like what you do, so I will criticize

you a little bit. That would be criticism involved. Yes, well, I'm I just feel like when I feel like Nick is too close to the to the vest, like, I feel like we need to get you a warmer guy. You were warm and you were trying to melt that iceberg, and you can't melt an iceberg. So I'd rather you get someone that water seeks its own level. Sorry, Nick, and I'm telling the truth. Wow, I don't even know what to say to that. Holy well, here we go. Tough love. I like it. Um, So, Vanessa, do you

have any questions for Patty? Yes, well I'm so hardy questions Patty. When I found out you were coming on, I am such a newstand of yours on all the shows. My favorite episode was actually when um, there was someone from chilc that came on. Uh Chili Chili, Yes, yes, yes, chill. She was our first episode on the Celebrity season. That was funny because that was our show winner's idea. Spike van Breson, who is the show inner for the Hills in the City and U X factor in a whole

bunch of other stuff. He actually produced a million dollar and millionaire matchmaker, and he wanted us to sit in on the Day eight and like criticize it. And I no one ever did that before other than the other than the Manzos. But the Manzos was a lie because nobody knew those two guys, you know, the Suns, were really the daters. So it was a really exciting episode, and Chili was shocked. She was just shocked. It was really good television with anyone. So I think, you know,

a lot of these problems. A lot of the problems are is once you're in the bubble, like we all are, it's hard to date down. So I think when you do find a normal guy, as civilian as I like to call it, you really have to want a civilian. But most of us want our own level. So that's another problem with the same game, either celebrity or someone in the business who understands you, because like the director, producer, writer, someone who actually knows the way our work schedules are.

I get a lot of complaints like, oh, you're not you're so busy, but I go through spurts of busy and slow, so I don't have a regular nineifi job like everybody else. You know, it's in so a lot of my the MENNI dat are like I can't handle this, and they don't like the carpet or they don't like your businesses though you're in. You know, nobody likes that I'm a matchmaker. They're jealous. I'm gonna trade up. Yeah. Interesting, No, that's a fair point. Are you dating anyone right now? No?

I'm single right now, so I know what it's like. I'm actually really single. Yeah, me too, really really, but you're not gonna be single for long. I feel like when the next four months you're gonna meet your single? Yeah? I dated? Oh yeah, what's going on? Update? There's been a boy, there's been a boy. There's been a man. Who's the boy? Who's the boy? That there was someone? While there was someone, Um, I'll think Canada. I'll pink canacause ham Inflorida, so I'll think Canada. Um that I

was dating, but that didn't didn't look out. Um, but it didn't work out for the for the for the right reasons, you know, like we're for the right reasons. If I had a nickel Okay, wait is he Montreal. Is he Montreal or Calgary? Is he Calgary Montreal? But he is he Montreal St. Luc Or Hampstead code St. Lucar Hampstead because my ex boyfriend and Mark Ruber, yes from Coach St. Luke, and I had plenty of Hampstead boys. Yeah, I grew up with Florida. They all come down to

Hollywood on the beach. They used to go to diplomat everyone. Well, I'm in for Lauderdale today and I was shopping at Public and someone's like, oh my god, we're not like the And I just broke up with somebody from Montreal who lived in Calgary. I just I don't know something. They're really by the way, Montreal guys can really kiss, just putting that on the map. They know how to French kiss, like most of it's European. California guys cannot kiss. So I don't know what the story. Yeah, but there's

a huge French Montreal. But Jared can kiss. So maybe Jay is going to get kissing lessons. Yeah. I saw that you can kiss National TV. I like it. Um So Patty, So Patty, what's new? So you said your single right now? Right now? So what's going on in your life. Well, I took a break off television for a year. I know it isn't shocking, and I went into the script and there's gonna be something really huge. It'll be announced in the next two weeks in scripted television.

That's very exciting. And um, some other things on my website. We're about building my website right now to make it an informational membership channel. You can go to Patty Knows dot com register and it'll be launched in the next probably by Valentines of next year. And it's really going to be it's gonna be like I give webinars and I give you. I'm gonna call you personally and give you advice, a lot of a lot of products we

have attracting a soulmate. We have the Millionaire Secret talks with Jovitelli from the Secret how to become a Millionaire for business, and then we also have Patty's Playbook, which A're gonna listen to every day and you're gonna be able to get married in a year. All the men are gonna hate us for any year. I'm gonna teach them how to rope that ring in well, you're going to teach the guys and girls girls, but I have

guy stuff. The millionaire secret talk is really for the guys so they can become rich, and then you want the girls to marry those rich guys. Can I say, oh, we're on a podcast. It's like Proba weren't eye heart, I can tesk of it. Yeah, we'll believe that right out. Don't you worry about that, don't have Yes, we have millionaire women too, which is really hard because they never

want to date down. They want Bill Gates that look like Brad Pitt, like that doesn't exist, get a life and you know what, well, oh yeah, because there's so many of them running around. Have you looked at the Forbes four hundred nine, Okay, and other than Kylie Jenner, which is you know, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. Um, well, so you said that's launching in Valentine's next Yeah, but you can. What you're gonna do is you're gonna register now. In the next six months, I'm gonna personally call you.

I might do a webinar. We're doing little things along the way, but the official launch is probably two thousand, nineteen Valentine's Day because it'll have everything on this one side. So we're getting we're launching soon. And I noticed when I said a million Dollar Matchmaker, you just said matching. Well, I mean I love we, Thanks Mark Jaris, I love you. We I love we. But Matchmaker is really where I was known for. Its a different kind of show. So

it was what she was describing was chili. It's not the same show as Million Dollar match Breaker, which is what Ashley was on. And there is the original and the authentic to that show that it's still iconic. It's in two hundred countries, it's on Hulu and Amazon. Um. Bravo was so wonderful to me during that period, and I kind of miss it. It's like going back to high school. I missed my old team, you know. But I still love we. It's just a different energy. My audience, really,

to be honest with you, is that Bravo. I mean, I have to be honest. That was a bigger audience and it was our real audience. We started that network, me, Jeff and Vicky was like, we were the first three shows, you know, on the air, before Kathy and The Inside the Actor's Studio and Andy's Show. So we were one of the originals. So I still miss that place. That's all.

I could always go back. But I mean, I love the fact that Bravo has grown so much up the years and of my friends are all stars now and the ratings are amazing. And Francis was my development but because she was my vice president at the time. Now she's president the network, and she made that network go

with Shari Levine, who's my who's my VP. And they really did an amazing job because you have to realize, we we had a point where we're in this building, We're in this building in Burbank, and Bravo was in this building and they didn't have receptionists. You had to knock on the door and buzz and there was nobody. There are And now I look at it and they're huge, they're universal now, you know, yeah, right, Holy crap, um, So what was I gonna say? So, you're a third

generation matchmakerrect that's what you're known for. How did you even get into the matchmaking business? My my grandmother and my mother did it for the local temple. And I like, I was Jewish and I in Jersey and I liked all them boys, all the non Jewish boys, all the blonde, all American arian types. So I went to christ Church dance with my girlfriends who were Jewish, and we like these gentle boys. So I was fixing all my friends up and the priest came over and he's like, you know,

this is a job. You need to do this for a living. You're really good at this, and I went I am. And as things went on, my mother and my grandmother were getting really busy with their business. And then I went to work for Great Expectations, the largest dating service in Florida, in Boca and in Miami. And that's how I learned the business. And you're so known for tough love, but you're the sweetest person ever. You give all such warm vibes. I was a little nervous

coming in now because I remember your text Jared. I read all your texts from Ashley when you were on when she was on the show. I don't remember what I sell the phone from her and she flipped out on me. And I'm going to tell you something psychically I saw with the two of you. Okay, so this is the truth. Actually, let's give a little so actually it was million dollar. So actually was a million dollar match.

Make y ago but probably like three years ago, and she was she was madly in love with Jair okay, and they told me her dog had died and don't and don't mention the jay word. Don't mention the J word. I'm like, well, what am I going to talk about? So my Showmrinner got a little tough on her, and she of course started to cry, you know, crying virgin all that. And I said, Ashley, give me your phone. Who's calling you? And she goes, you know who? And

I go give me the phone. I started reading the texas said he likes you, and she goes, no, he doesn't, he doesn't want me. And I said, no, you're wrong. I said, you need to start dating someone else because this is the type of person that's going to get jealous and steal you from the guy true story. Ask her that it's on tape. We might have not put it in at it, but it was there, and she said, you're wrong, you're wrong. Right, So I'm gonna get you

this really hot guy. We're gonna cut his hair. I don't know if you're gonna end up with then it's gonna be really jealous. I was doing it to make you jealous. That was my goal. And so at the time, you know, I set a look astrologically, because I do astrology. You were faded the two of the to meet, and you were faded to end up together. But he doesn't realize at the time that he met you that you're

the soulmate. It might take three years later. Well. I think also with Ashley specifically, it was more of the idea of who I should be with my entire life. I always thought I should be with someone quiet and shine like. That was the type that I was always attracted to, and I always saw myself ending up with. So when I meant Astley, it was like, no, this is She's loud and proud. She's like, can be complete opposite of any girl I dated, or any girl I

could ever see myself with. So while we got along and it was great, I was like I was always fighting at my entire life. And then there came a point I think when things changed and it wasn't so much because of that anymore, and it was so much more. You got to meet You were jealousy, Kevin, come on, tell so tell the girls out there that sometimes a guy doesn't know that they got it, you know, until they lose it. Yeah, well, I think I absolutely agree.

What I'm saying with that though, is that I think a lot of guys will never admit it, and I'm just kind of a not an exception to the rule. But I've realized I might be a rarity to actually say that I didn't feel good enough to be with Ashley until I realized that I needed to put my insecurities side. Know this is a true story. I love

him even more. Well, it's just a true story. Is that, Like, if I didn't face those insecurities and doubts, I would never be with Ashley because that was kind of you need to keep well, you need to do bootcamps from men. Ashley has mentioned this before. No, I'm not kidding, you would give greater relationship site and do bootcamps from men. Like my biggest problem when I would have clients on like a giving example of Vinnie's like, my baby is

the greatest guy ever. Vinnie is one of my best friends. Okay, So Vinnie was a cliff diver. I fall in love with everything, and he was opposite of Daniel, and Daniel was like I don't love anyone, you know, because Viannel was all I got to look like a certain look. And then when I put them at the mixer, Daniel picks not the most attractive girl that we had there because they were way pretty rules there. And I said

why and he goes because she wasn't hungry. And so this is the thing that I'm learning with with you, Vanessa. You have to learn that the men can smell the chom in the water. They are sharks. Pull back a little, pull back a little like in other words, like he picked the girl that was in the prettiest because she wasn't running after him, she wasn't chasing him. He had to ask her questions. It was she was very evasive.

And everybody else was like Daniel, Daniel, Daniel Daniel because they had seen him on The Bachelor, and she's like, I don't even know what the Bachelor. She could care less. My issue is that I have to be the one that has to be the go getter, because I know people think, like, oh my god, there's a lineup of men. There isn't like I have to be the one that you sound like Olivia. Olivia says the same thing. Okay,

now listen, you're doing it wrong. If there's look, if you want a lot of men or do you want one man? I want a man. Okay, do you want the man? Now? You don't want a man. You want the man on the toy for you. So in order to get the man on the toy, he has to show up as the alpha for you to become the beta. If you become the alpha, he's going to become the beta. And then you're gonna lose interest because you're chasing. It's exhausting to chase after a full day of hair and

makeup and getting your nails done. Do you really want to chase? No? Okay, So so what you get in the beginning is what you get in the end. So then you end up you're going to do all the work in the relationship, plus have the children and take care of the kids. You want to do it all because by thirty I'll be dead. So that's not what you do, aren't you also? But aren't you also telling Vanessa at the same time that she needs to pull back a little bit to kind of create a chase. Yes, exactly,

which is what I was saying. But I do. But that's the thing I don't feel you do that My intuition doesn't. If I completely pulled back, then there's going to be no one there. No not pulled back where you don't answer the phone or not responsive in communication. But like if you go online, you wait for them to hit you up. You can pick on bumble and you can pick on a tinder and say hi, I'm bumble and pull back and let him ask you for them, or if he gives you his number, you say, I'm

kind of old school. I prefer you to call me, because if he calls you, that's showing, you know, out of Like if I'm on Bumble and I give five numbers out my number out to five guys, two will show up calling me. The rest will just like because they gave me their number, and I'm like, dude, I'm not chasing. Like that's the end of that. If you want me to call me, you're the girl, not the boy. He who has the penis does the chasing. The penis

does the chasing. Penis does chasing. Remember, the penis goes inside the vagina. The receiver there the giver. Oh, and I gotta take more notes. So you're telling me what'd you say? Ben, what'd you say? But think about it. It's biology. The technology has changed, but not the biology.

Men are still no men. And if you allow them to have the eleven o'clock cook up, are you allow them to you ask out and set the weekend dates or make the reservations or check in when you travel at the airport, you become the man, and then you're never going to come back from that as as the man. You're always going to be the woman. Men in general just want to provide, like they want to be the alpha. You're Scorpio, right, because I remember you're Scorpios. Scorpios are

very strong in that genre. They have emotional side to them, but they so to a Pisces who's very intuitive and psychic, like she's super psychic actually, and very sensitive and that's why she cries a lot. So a scorpio man is going to want to take and provide for his sensitive Pisces woman. If the Pisces is the alpha, the scorpio

would run away. Would be disgusting for a scorpio. But it's so interesting because now that Ashley and I have been dating, engaged, she's completely she's the alpha and I'm she's in bridezilla mode. It's not even Bridezilla mode. It's just more so like I don't know if it's a scorpio and me because but I'm I've always I'm very easy going, and so like Ashley needs someone who's like that because she's very controlling her life. So she'll just tell me what to do. A lot of times, I'm like, okay,

that's fine. You know she's also was she was she raised on East Coast or here, and she's Italian, right Italian, so that's why. So it's it's the Jewish Italian thing on the East Coast where we're like, all right, we got you, now, let me just handle everything. I'll do it better. I'll make a better reservation, I'll make a better this, better that. Well, I'll do things for her obviously obviously areas where she's got the ring. You you

get a free pass for a whole year. You just sit back and let her do everything because that ring. You know, it's so expensive. Okay, I know, boy, well I knew as soon as you started dating, I need to put a ring on it. But you realize when you get the ring, you're gonna get everything for the year, lots of it's gonna be a good year. I do have to leave, But Patty, right before I leave. If I'm a Libra, we'll kind of oh Aquarius and Semon, Aquarius, Gemini,

Sagittarius and Leo, those five. But remember, but remember every sign has a component of Mars, Venus, Moon, all the personal planets. So you might get a Capricorn with Leo rising. You might get a cancer with Moon and Venus. You know, it depends where your charts laid out. Have to do your charts. So when you get my number, I'll look at your chart and I'll tell you when the progressions are, when when you're gonna the peak periods to look for men?

Oh girl, okay, I definitely need to contact and vote. Derek. Can you give her my of course, I will pass on content for Charis. I gonna like, let me leave with that that podcast, all right, Now, I got to go my anti duty now, Vanessa, before you go, I have to ask you and Patty one great question. How you know, Like, why is great healthy hair important to you? Oh? My god, it's everything. Everything. It's if you have a

bad hair day, you might as well just kill yourself. Seriously, I mean everything and thick hair and you want hair to grow on top and the reason is because everybody's wearing extensions and wigs, and when you see Beyonce or Syriane or see any of these chicks running around with these big hair, nobody has hair like that. Ashley is one of the few which has the best hair. Oh well, I just saw Chloy Kardashian yesterday and I thought her

hair looked super sexy, blonde and amazing. She had that thick blonde you know, surf for hair do, and I really liked it. I love Since we're on the topic of hair, I love sugar Bear hair. Um, it's the vitamins that I take twice a day. Everyone keeps asking me why my hair super long, thick, and in shining. I've been taking these things for about a year now, you guys probably thought on my Instagram page, I keep

raping about it as a couple of other my friends. Dude, I keep talking about it for all hair ties, um, for all genders as well. And they they taste so have you tried them? Oh my god, of course, Patty and I were just talking about it. I can't help myself. Oh my god, I'm addicted. I actually buy them and I didn't get them free. So I put them on my person when I travel and when I'm going out in the day. Patty, you are dedicated and they taste wonderful.

And I may have stole some from Ashley and had a couple like I don't think it's a male female thing. I think it's look men need it more than ever because they're getting that monk do on top and the receding hairline, the monk do what's the monk little circle on the top of their head. And if you've got a lot of testosterone, you know you're gonna you're gonna shed. Oh God, I'm shedding. I need, I need feels like amazing hair. Definitely, sugar bears. Sugar bears working clearly, working perfectly.

You know, the sugar bear hair has much vitamin A as four cups of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries, and as much vitamin B twelve as four organic eggs. There's nutrients and sugar bear hair. Fans also found out their nails and skin quality and prove over time from sugar bear. You always, whenever you take a vitamin your nails grow fast. Holy crap, I don't even know the sugar Bear Hair is the best

thing I've ever heard of. If you go to Sugar Bear Hair dot com slash help, you can go there for beautiful, beautiful hair and a healthier you that Sugar Bear hair dot com slash help go check it out today for healthier hair. Vanessa, thank you so much for coming in. I know you have to do your aunt duties. Yes, my aunt beatings. I'm gonna go to my segar now and perfect talked to you later, said, Okay, I'm gonna be down at Fort lad I'm gonna be down at

Fort Lauderdale in September, so we'll hang. Okay, come come to handst and called Luke. I will oh my god, or Calgary. All right, thanks Vanessa. Those Canadian boys man, so Patty, you gonna hook Vanessa. What's going on? I'm gonna find somebody for Vanessa. I have all my bachelor girls, like all of them, have have a lot of them. Got Olivia too, Yeah, go to Olivia. Olivia. Livia finally moved to Seattle. Um, I like that place better for her than than like you know. Now, she went from

New York to Nashville and now she's in Seattle. But I like Seattle. I mean, I like, it's got more of a quieter energy, and she's like hike girl, and it's a good place for her. So I can tell it's beautiful. I used to work there, so it's beautiful. And then you can go to Vancouver from there because you can take a little fayal. Yeah, one of my best friends live to Vancouver. He actually a random story. One of my best friends met his fiance future wife

in Vegas. We went to a Vegas strip in two thou fourteen, met her on the first day we were out. We were out at like the Venetian I think exchange phone numbers. They never spoke. We were there for three nights, never saw each other again. He got back home. She texted him and said, hey, you still in Vegas. He said no. They started texting, calling each other face timing. He was actually going to Seattle to visit family. She lives in Vancouver. They met halfway, spent a weekend together.

He came back when was like, this girl is amazing. They visited each other one more time. They came back boyfriend girlfriend. They did long distance for a year and Canadians it's unbelievable. He moved Vancouver. The Canadians are so grateful when you like date them. They are They're really sweet and they're super nice. They are very nice. Caitlin Bristols Canadians. She was my bachelor. The sweetest girl you ever meet. Vanessa is amazing. There's a lot of a

lot of good Canadians. Um. So yeah, So you had Ashley on your show two and a half years ago. I vivily remember this. You called me a do which is fun. I called you, but I was getting I wanted to get you rolled up because every time I said, if he didn't care, here's the thing. If she was coming on the show, we wanted you on, you didn't want to come on, Um, that was your prerogative. I didn't. I never got as I asked, well, maybe she didn't

want you on. I didn't know. I wanted. I wanted you want to discuss what she felt for you so we could transform that into a new guy. And I wanted you to be her coach. But she might have not wanted you, and she might have been embarrassed. I didn't. I didn't know she was going on. She called me halfway through filming. That's why when you said, like I remember you said sounds like like I contacted her. I was like, no, she called me halfway through she was

feeling really awful. Yeah, she she called me and she's like, listen, I gotta tell you something. Your name is going to be mentioned on Millionaire Matchmakerker didn't. We didn't say you know, you didn't say your name, but she was like, I just gotta give your heads up. Like I don't really know when this is gonna air. I don't know what's going on, but like they're talking about you, and I feel like I should give you heads up. And then that was awful. I was very I was very good.

Good not to say your name because we wouldn't say we called it the J word. We weren't allowed to say it, Uh, the J word. God, my reputation proceeds. But here's the thing. When he was texting, I'd read his text and they were super sweet and super considerate, and I said, if he really didn't want you, he'd help you find love. Oh no, of course. Well. The thing is like I always told Ashley to date, and like I always knew listen, I always knew that I

might have to live with consequences of my actions. One day because I, like I said, like, the reasons why Ashley and I weren't dating changed over time, And I don't think that's upsurd to say because we were friends for two and a half years, but you spent a lot of time with her all the time, like best friends.

Oh yeah. And then there came a time, like after Bachelor in Paradise season three with the whole Kalen I situation, it didn't work out, Like I kind of just went into a hole because I was, like, I love spending time with Ashley, but there's no way I can go back to like even admitting I have feelings to her, admitting that I was confused in any way, because how could I possibly do that to someone after everything that's happened.

Because the only reason I wanted her to go on Bachelor in Paradise three was the date other people for multitude of reasons. One so we could figure this out, because I always knew that there was going to have to come a time in Ashley and mind relationship where was gonna like go and one of two directions and if I was to play honest even when she was filming a million dollar match. But of course, like I had confused feelings about Ashley. But you know it's really weird,

is that Daniel Vinny? I don't even know if I asked Nick, they didn't know this was the way it was going to go down. I remember when I called Vinny even he goes, I know, I'm in shock too. And she talked to Nick and he said to me, I can't believe because you were jumping on the couch like Tom Crustal. And I was like, I was like, what there. I call it the Bachelor miracle, and I say there are miracles in this world. I use you guys as the miracle. So you get divorced, which I

don't think you ever will. I think you'll have children and go on to I always, I always say like, this is the miracle because there's always an exception to the rule. Uh, he's not He's not done into you. Greg is out there is coming on and he wrote that book. And whenever I think of the movie, I think the exception to the rule, Right, we was talking about that, you're the exception to the rule. So if there's one of you, there's got to be more of you.

There is more of me. I think the problem with guys though, is that they want to put on this facade that they have everything like together and they know exactly what they're doing, and they don't want to like be perceived as vulnerable in any way. And I realized specifically with what happened over Winter Games before, like you know, when I first found out everything that I need to really open. It was pretty amazing that Kevin came after her, Like that was pretty I have not watched the show.

I mean, it's not it's not that it looks she had been long hard known as a virgin out there and that's her business and it wasn't a religious thing. So I was like, God, someone's gotta pop that chirt. Someone's got to get in there. And I was praying for it because I felt like she'd calmed down. But I was like, I didn't know that was going to come back to you. And I was like when Kevin came in, I'm like, Oh, he's a cute dude. This

is a nice guy. Like when I went to Disneyland, I was like, oh, this is really sweet, you know, Like I didn't see anything negative. That's why it was so exciting, so exciting it was. I can't wait for the wedding. I'm very excited for the wedding too. We're thinking next year at some point. All right, let's answer an email. We want to answer one email while you're still here. So this is from anonymous. It's time. Title

is not enough sex? Oh boy, I had. I had this with a very famous celebrity which I won't tell you their name, who's I can't dropped it. Gorgeous, gorgeous wife. They're like fifteen years in age difference. And he said to me, I never have sex with my wife. And I said, how is it possible? But you too like sexuality on Instagram And he said to me, I know, I don't know what to do about it. So I thought long and hard. I went to my sexperts. We have Dr Emily who's on my website at Patty Knows

if you need sex um information. She used to be the sidekick with Dr Drew in Love Line. And the thing is, if you're in our relationship and you're not having sex or something wrong, if you're single, you just gotta do the thing you know, right hand versus the vibrator. If there's nothing you can john if it's mail or female. But when it comes to relationships. You have to find out why are you not making a priority time. A lot of people can't do it in the home, phones,

ringing kids around, whatever, roommates, whatever it is. Television. Television is a big destruction. I mean Netflix has ruined my relationships. I don't know about yours. And I think you have to go out, like to the woods and do a picnic, or like go to you know, go to a romantic getaway or do a staycation or something that you've got to put an effort and plan it. I think you can't be like just like you know, you're just gonna it's gonna magically happen and come back. I agree. I

think people feel awkward planning sex. I think specifically men feel awkward planning. There's nothing wrong with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with it either, but there is. I have an appointment on Saturday with someone that I clean up my pipes. I have an appointment I clean out my pipes every so often. Why did you say Netflix ruined your relationship? Because it was really funny when

it first came up. Me and my ex were obsessed with it and we were like, we would binge watch shows and you know, you didn't get one show a week. Like I remember when came out. I was like, oh, this was our show, but we watched it once a week. So we once watched a marathon with commercials. You know, it was like because we didn't have Netflix. Then Netflix came along and I was like, oh my god, we never have to leave the room. We'll just go through this and then you're tired, you go to sleep. And

Netflix ruined my sex. But now Netflix has made it better for me because now that I'm dating, it's like, come over Netflix, and maybe it looks maybe it will chill. Maybe we'll chill. That's what your t shirts say. I gave the Matchmaker and Chill t shirts so you can watch. So you can watch Matchmaker on Hulu or Amazon or iTunes or even Bravo. This is from an anonymous subject line not enough sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and eight months. I'm twenty five,

he's thirty two. He is a doctor, so whose workfield could get challenging and stressful, which makes me considerate of him. But I feel like we aren't intimate enough. Well that's a really hard thing when you got a doctor. So the hours of a doctor are impossible. It's worth a lawyer, um, because they have to stand on their field all day long, so they're exhausted by the time they come home. And when they're eating a snack a peanut of this and that,

they don't get full meals, you know, cafetery food. So what I would do is I would open the gates with a romantic meal. He probably hasn't been fed in a long time, and feed the beast, Feed the beast, feed the beast, unbuttoned his pants and let him go to town. Well, she says, at first, I thought it

was all in my head and I was exaggerating. But when I shared with my girlfriends that we have sex every three weeks, sometimes it goes over the one month mark, they said that they are sexually active with their partner at least twice a week for contact purposes. My boyfriend and I usually see each other every other weekends. Uh Am I crazy. I've talked to him about this and he says that it's not that I'm just it's not that I'm not desirable, but rather that he's tired. Could

it be lack of sex drive on his part? Help I suck at dating, Patty. I think he hit it head right there. You guys don't really suck at it though, you know that, right, you're pretty good. The show title needs to be changed because you're pretty freaking good. I would hire you in a minute. Thanks, Patty. Well, I'm very lucky that I have a wonderful girl and that I like came to realize, not realize that, but like, actually go for is really bad now. So don't have

to suthe him. Because he's in Venice. I can actually make a house calls. You Ni moved to Venice? Who but that's why he's at Rosehood. Oh, Nick, give me a call. We need to talk. I know everybody in that hood. I would are his age group. Yeah, yeah, you gotta get him, Dean, Nick and Nick. You need to switch to Irwan. You know that right, because Irwin's got where all the hot surfer girls are. Okay, perfect,

I'll give him the heads up on that. Not that we don't love whole foods, love hell foods, but I'm just telling you are one's like where it's a little it's a subculture thing that they Yeah, definitely doesn't suck a Danny. I think you know justin. You know, he's so gorgeous. He's one of the most careful, beautiful man I've ever seen. You're making a face, is your producers are making a face. It is incredibly beautiful. But he is not great with dating. He did ask me to

do He asked me a lot of questions. Last time I was with him. He kept saying to me, did I do this? I said, you know, you're being a little overly confident here. You've been a little cocky there. There's a cockyness where Nick is cold. So there's like, you know, they almost need to warm up. I need to warm them up and gell them up. And so you're saying that Nick is cold, and then Dean is cocky. Yeah, and maybe, And I think I think Daniel needs to move to l A and get out of where he's up.

He needs to move here. I would agree with that because I don't think Daniel is going to find true love up north. Why not? I just don't feel it. We're you know, Vinnie actually has this girlfriend looks exactly like I thought he would end up with. He's got a great streep, she's smart, she's in med school or whatever. It's like she's a smart kid. So I feel like East Coast they're fine. I just feel like Dannie needs to get here with the rest of them. I would agree.

You know, how would you, uh, what would you say about me? You're gonna be You're gonna be like pop mom and pop. You probably will be like Carly and her husband Evan, because they're like the poster children for like I got married, I got kids, we had a family, I'm living. Where do they live Nashville? Yeah, like they live in Nashville, and it's like they are the poster

people for like this. You know, Elan told me the story that how Carly didn't like him, so that shower told me story that she she didn't like you know him, and Evan was like really really upset and like really liked her. Ju Leo wouldn't give up, and he said to look, that's the best you're gonna do, and then

she just kind of relaxed and went for it. Well I think, yeah, I think she eats your mind, and she opened up that door of the possibility of dating Evan, and once that door was open, Evan just because that kiss was bad right in the beginning and they had to work on it the longest kiss with like chili peppers in their mouth and was just not really but the way Carly and Evan are and like when she sings her lullabies her kids. I'm obsessed with their personalities together.

I just love them. I agree. I think Carly and Evan and then Tanner and Ja Yeah, Tanner did. Actually I forget Janner Janner because it's Janner. Yeah. I like them. I mean there's like Rachel. I think Rachel's going to have a good marriage. I think he really, I really think. Well, Rachel was tweeting me the whole time and she's like, at am I doing good? And I'm like, yeah, don't go for the personal trainer. He's not going to give you marriage. But what was the guy's name that? Yeah, Peter.

I was like, don't make him the bachelor because he's so scared of marriage. Like, I was like, don't make him the bachelor. I was like, Mike Place, please, don't make him the bachelor. I was like so freaked out. Yeah, and I was like I was like, because if they had done that was like there, he's never going to propose and he's going to be like the twin guy. The guy who was one of the twins. Do you remember the one that he had twins? He was twins and he was in jerk and he came on twice.

I don't want to look. I want to hear the true story. So in the beginning, when Mike was making the show, I cast it for three years for you guys like for freight. Yeah, I didn't want to He wanted to pay me, but I just sit here. And so Alma was one of the girls on the show. She was one of my girls. Is really really stormtroopers, I like to call her. And it was an EPI season where you had two bachelor's and they were older,

they were not younger divorce guys. And Alma got a phone I don't know how she did it from one of the producers. She calls me nine one when she goes, I don't like anyone. I don't want to be here. And it's like six it was six weeks then in the house and I said, just walk out a road, serum, Chris, We'll let you do it. And because I love Chris, and she goes. You think, and she's the first in history that walks that goes. I'm not attract to either

one of you and I'm leaving. And that was in the beginning because I know what you've been on the show. I don't know Mike Flice. Why haven't I? Everybody else likes me, Darnelle and Brook and all them, So what if they were like, hey, listen, we can't make you the Bachelorette, but we want you. Why would come on as an expert? Chris and I get a really long, really well and I probably charged on the one thing because I'm obsessed with the show and I'd fly to

Mauie Mike to meet you. I would. I think Mike is the only person I have to I haven't met you, haven't I haven't met place, and I dying to meet him. I'm trying to meet him. I would love wanted to do he wanted to bring for talking about each with them, and we talked a lot because I just love the franchise. I'm Rob Mills is my favorite person in the Hold White world, you know at ABC. I love all those guys. It's so cool, it's so great, so nice to me,

You're so amazing. I was a little nervous you coming, and I was like, she's gonna yell at me down. This wedding is going to be awesome. I'm super excited too. I'm very lucky. I'm so happy that Ashley got her dream because you have no idea. I saw the pain and suffering. I was like, thank you guys. It was a rocky road there for a couple of years from both of us. But we're very lucky that we kind

of came together. We just got to spread you see, the thing is the two of you doing boot camp, spreading the wisdom, getting people to wake up men and women together in boot camps. I'll help you with this, Like, I think you need to get out there in the trenches and teach everybody that men should not be pussy's anymore about this and if they like someone, go for it and stop stop change, stop running away from your feelings, stop pushing away the people that you deem import. Exactly.

I agree, because I was doing that for a very long time. Yeah. Um, all right, well, thank you so much for Patty and Patty where everybody find you. You can go to Patty knows dot com. You can email me there, um and there's Millionaires one to three Millionaire scar Millionaires Club one to three dot com. If you want to join the service millionaire. No millionaire will fix you up. But Patty Knows is for the relationship advice. Patty, you are amazing. Everybody go to Patty Knows. It's going

to be amazing. All right, thanks Patty. Ah well, I'm exhausted after Patty. I don't know about you Easton. Um, but no, we have the wonderful We have Greg in a mirror here. Um. You guys are just finished up a book on how to keep your marriage from Sucking. It's so nice to meet you guys. Thank you first of all for joining us. So, Greg, how do you pronounce you? Last name? Baron? Greg barn So Greg Barron and a mirror. Oh beautiful, beautiful couple of you you guys

married for eighteen years. Eighteen years and you guys just wrote this book called how to Keep your Marriage from Sucking. Yeah, those our fourth book we wrote. He's just not that indio. It's called a break up because it's broken. Uh what was that dating one? It's just anoffing date. Is this a cursing show or not a cursing You con curse if you want, we can just believe it out. We're fine. We're adults. I didn't want to be presumptuous. No, So

what you got? You what got you got? Guys like writing into you know, he's not that into you and your three other books. I was a consultant on the show Sex in the City and um and we I was at work and one of the girls was seeing a guy that didn't want to sleep with her and asked me what I thought about and I said, he isn't like you, and yeah, yeah, and then and then at some point I said, he's just not that into you.

And Liz to chill Oh, who's the co author of the first book, UM said, um, I think there's a book idea and that and um, and then that's what happened. And then Amra felt the same way. And then we wrote a book. And then list didn't want to write books and where she want to write TV. And so you're an I start writing books. Only you're consultant for Sex in the City. Ye. It was a staff of seven women in two game man, and I was the only I was a token straight guy. Let me ask

you a question. I had a conversation with my fiance about big character. Yeah, do you think star Jessica Parker should ended up with him. No, not at all, not at all. I mean, he's the antithesy. He is what the book, the original book was about, like a guy that's like a lot of these things, but ultimately he's just not right. You know, he's not down for the you know, it makes you just work too hard, and he's not that into it. You know, there's a he's

got rules, alright, got too many rules. I'm glad to hear that, because at one point I had always grown up on the fact that like Big was like the guy that the girl sees at the end of the aisle and the only guy she could picture seeing him, like the only guy she could picture herself marrying. And then when I got engaged with my fiance, I was like, oh, joking around, like how I'm her big, and she's like, no, you're not, You're not my big, And I was like,

what the hell does that mean? I thought your entire life was about like marrying your big And she's like, no, no, no, no no, you got it all wrong. The Sara Jessica Parker should not have ended up with her big. You're you're misunderstanding. Even the writers came out and said it, and so it's good to hear somebody who's a yeah, and he's he's sort of emblematic of the ideal that women have, and he has qualities that are admirable. There's

things that you like about him. It's a stand up guy, and he's got a you know, he's just he's a guy in the world who has a sort of an alpha thing that women like, they just do, but they don't like it to the point where you're like, Okay, but also I don't I don't need you at all, and I'm going to ignore you, and you know, and I'm and I'm actually kind of in this permanent state of arrested development because I still want to meet other girls.

What are your thoughts about this, this big character. You know, I under absolutely understand the idea that that was the only person that really um did it for her ultimately, the person that she that she really pined for and felt like was her soul mate. At the same time, it is that thing of you know, there certainly was a lot to like about Aiden. Yeah. Aiden was never a pother one, wasn't you know. During the show, people

kind of liked him. I Mean, he was really great because he was sort of a source of debate because he's sort of the antithesis of the guy that's like, Man, I'm doing all this stuff that you want and you don't like it. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm I'm interested in you. I'm attentive, I'm you know, I'm thoughtful, I'm trying to I'm actually actively trying all the time. Yeah, and you think of me as weak because I'm too interested or right.

You know. He proposed to her and then she put the ring on the chain and he was like what you know, and but he let it happen, and you know, so you know, I think there's something. I think that was the whole point. And you know, Sarah Jessica is not a great you know, if you watch that show again, she's not a great person. Yeah you carry yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

carries not. I mean, that's what makes your compelling. She's like don Draper, she's just you know, she's a sort of selfish and she and she yeah yeah yeah, and she can't make the right choice, and you know, she's flawed, but she's ultimately really likable and the profound loves of her life are her friends. And this unattainable there was no in between. You either had an you couldn't if you wrote an in between, the should be over and

who wants to see that? No exactly. Well, I think that's why so many women of the show, because they found her character so relatable. Where they had this guy who's like they're pining over. He has all the quality she wants, but she's she's just ignoring her. And then they have this other guy that they're not that interested, but he's like really there for at every moment everything that they want a guy he has, but yet the

attraction is just not there. And I have to say the credit goes to the actors to like, you know, Chris North was just big. He just was the right guy for that, and any other casting could have been like I could have just seemed like, you know, just like guy, I don't want that guy around and he's gone, But Chris had a little bit of like, you know, there was something about him. Yeah, and Aidan was a little soft. I mean, I think they put him in

what they took. They put it. They made him be in his tidy whities, which was a choice to make him look soft to women and to men. You know, it was just sort of not and he wasn't ripped. It wasn't a guy that was just walking around in his briefs. He looked like the way you don't want to look in your tidy whities. And I think they wanted people to go. And you know, that's why most people's people are, you know, just regular people and so you know, and that made him you know, they were smart,

they were really it was really well done. I didn't I was big into Aiden until her computer broke and he bought her that new computer. Thought that was really aggressive. And that's really funny because that's one of the things I worked on. So why did you think that that's great? But why did you think that you thought that was too He should have let her figure it out, or he should have been there to help if she asked

for it. But he went, you know, he's like, oh, I'm just gonna buy you a new computer and set it up and forced this onto you and and also diminished what you do by making it. It's a it's a purse. It has a handle like a purse, and it's cute like you. But he's putting the pieces together. He's looking at the picture and he's putting the pieces together that he understands. No, it's perfect, it's great for the discussion. But you're right, he's answering question. Wasn't asked exactly.

And a woman doesn't ask you a question, she doesn't want you to talk to her about it. I learned a lot from that particular episode. Yeah, I gotta go back and watch this entire season and then the entire franchise of Sex in the City. It's incredible. I've seen a lot of huge educational tool for men and women because as a kid, my mom and sister used to watch I think what Sunday Nights was every Sunday night to watch it. And then now with Ashuley, my fiance, I mean, she loves Sex in the City and so

like anytime there's reruns, were watching it. So now I'm like catching up on the entire series. Um, and so while moving on from Sex in the City to the real life, you guys know a lot about marriage. You guys actually talk about social media and the pressure that puts on relationships today, which I find very fascinating. I don't know if you could really touch on that well.

I think the thing about social media is, you know, everyone's putting up like their best life like hashtag living living my best life in the dream and it's all so um stage to be like the highlight reel. And then in comparison, you look at your life and you feel like, you know, your life is just you know,

fails and bloopers and what have you. But it's not it's not realistic to to aspire to what you're seeing in these short, short bursts versus what it's like in a marriage or a long term relationship and each one. While you know the struggles of relationships are universal, they're also incredibly unique to each marriage and each relationship. So what you're really seeing is not what you're seeing. And I think that it gets also really cloudy with how

do you respond to social media? Well you start to get like, what am I telling people? And why do I? Why? Why do I? Why do I think it's so interesting that people who need to be a part of this. But the other thing was interesting. So we have to two daughters or sixteen thirteen, so they've never grown up without it. And so you know, when I was a kid, back before recorded sound, you know, we snuck out to

do things. If you want to see girls, you had to go meet them, you know what I mean, Like there was it was almost like a little bit of an adventure. And you know, I told my daughter one day, I said, you know your windows on the street, you know, I mean, you have a hallway, two doors and a window before anyone catches you, you you can sneak out. And

she goes, where would I go? Oh my god. So I was like and I was like, to your friends, and she's like, and I used to sneak out all the time, and I was I was only being quoit with her, and also just saying, because you know, you see that stuff, you want to mention it, almost in a way of going like a man, I say, you do it? And uh, She's like, yeah, everyone's on the phone. And so their whole life is on social media in

some in some form or another. And but if you marry inflammatory and relationships, because you know, people post post these pictures of themselves being like adorable or sexy or on vacation or whatever, and the comments and it can get so sticky and so dangerous when you're in a relationship and you're just like you're stunning, perfect fire emoji or what happened? Or you know, you see your person commenting on someone else's photos and you're like, why are

you commenting on that person's photos? I mean, your entire life is now based on social media, like you said, like your friends, the things that you like, your your parties, everything you do, your your daughter doesn't even sneak out

anymore for the simple fact that why would you. Everything I have is written this pilm's there's nowhere to go, and she's just sending part like she You know, there's a whole language to how snapchat works and and how if somebody, you know, if they leave you read or whatever, like if you read yeah, and oh my god, there's half of their face and the thing not just like part of their forehead and part of the eye, So that means they're really into you. Like there's what, there's

this very strange language that's happening through social media. It's amost antithesis of sending all of you or make you do. It's like a little glimpses and how much yeah the other way? Yeah, and if you're left red, how long you're left unread? For you see that they saw but they didn't read it. They broke your streak, you know, like there's a whole dale thing. If I was a teenager right now in these days, I would lose my freaking mind. I'd be going crazy with this idea of

like what do I send? What don't I send? Like it's just you have you have no time for contemplation. I wonder what that like, Like, you know, like yearning or longing. Everything is just shown to you all the time. There's no imagination and the unimaginable days of like when you had a phone and you had to be there to answer that phone, you would go days without talking to somebody, like days, and you would be left on that one thought from school on Friday, what did that mean?

And then you're going over it and you've got nothing. You've got four days to come to contemplate. And I think there's something weird about not being able to get resolution or understand or be able to look ten different ways at somebody. And I don't know, it's weird. But on the other hand, they don't know another reality so well. People need reactions immediately, that's the thing they can't wait immediately,

affirmation immediately, and that's what media provides. But the other thing is too if I you know, like if a guy like, you know, we're married, and then I post on somebody's um a girl's thing like oh pretty or beautiful or like that, it's not different than in your head you're like, well, that's what if I worked with them, if they were workmate, and I will go, oh, it's hot, you know, like you say nice things to your workmates that are meaningless that they're just like, hey, we're friends

from work and that's what you look cute or whatever, And it doesn't it has no thing but written down it becomes this thing, and now other people see it. But then you have to go I think now you're now you're layering in a level of like insecurity. But then there's a thing of like my wife songs here, my wife is on we're on here together. We both know she knows I'm not hiding from her. I just published it. If I wanted it to be secret, be

in her d m s right. I don't know, It's just that there's a point sometimes I feel like we take things so far out of context. We've gone back and look at people's old tweets and decided they were racist in context to the time when we're realizing, you know, it's just all evolving so quickly. Are way too judgmental, and they're too easy to judge and too quick to judge.

That's the thing about it. In social media, everything is, everything is documented, and that's the thing about it, and it goes for lives as well as your relationship, which is comparison is the thief of joy. Anytime you're stuck in comparing yourself to what someone else's life looks like on their social media, you're actually like read, you know, it's reductive. You're reducing your own life and your own experiences, and you're already tapping out of your own life because

you want to be invested in something better. And this is what's real, of course, and now comparison is escalated to us to a point where I don't even know if there's any going back. Like that, you know, face tune, the app. I mean, you can literally change everything about you. I've seen girls go there and it's just a surred on how much they change their body. There's skin complexion, the entire look of who they are as a human being. But the problem is then they put that on social

media and that is perfection. So the next girl is like, well, I can't post anything that's less perfect than that. So she's going to do the exact same thing. And that's where comparison comes in. Um also that thing, and they've also gone a thing and make yourself look like a freak. You can make something like that's what I do, and I send the pictures that girls. I hate it, but

I always anyway. It's so funny though, because the thing about it is un Ultimately, I think this sort of comes back to a marriage is like and one of the things I think that's interesting is nobody knows except to you and the person you're in a relationship with. Nobody understands that, nobody gets it. It isn't comparable. Nobody gets to decide whether what they know about you is what you should do. The only people that know in a relationship are you and then the person you're in

the relationship with. Problem is when you have a marriage and you have a relationship, you have all these shareholders that either came to the wedding or your friends and family, or your workmates or anyone it's observed or been invited into the relationship, and all of a sudden, you have all these people that have thoughts and opinions and and are weighing in on it, and they don't really know what's going on and what it's like being in at Yeah.

I mean, you know, anytime you're around any scandal, unless you are actually at that, they're you know, where it's happening. You like when you know, when people we tell you something you know and you go, that's not actually how that happened. Well, that's if you knew the real real you know, there's there's always something that happened before. There's always some other story, what happened the moment before that person took that action? How do we know what? What?

You know? We we blame the person, you know who did the most egregious end of it, and we don't have any idea how they got there. Well, today we lack contexts. Everything is about headlines. I do find it interesting though that, like, I feel like our generation, my generation like that are about to start having kids now, are becoming more aware that social media might have some

consequences to it. And I'm curious to see in you know, ten or fifteen years, when this generation starts having kids on their own, they are getting into their teenage years, if there's gonna be some sort of droll of social media because of the awareness now that we're getting, because I feel like ten years ago, it was like everything was happening so fast and like it was so good, and kids had their phones at five years old and they had Instagrams at seven years old, and it was

just like, you know, it was just everything was happening so quickly. And now I feel like we're almost taking a step back and realizing, Okay, maybe you know, kids shouldn't have Instagram until there thirteen or sixteen or whatever. And I'm curious to see if there's going to be some sort of withdrawal in ten or fifteen years from now, because our generation is being aware of that. I think sooner. I think you'll start to see it sooner. Yeah, I do. I think that there's a there will be UM sort

of an antithesis to the Kardashians. And I don't put them down, it's just that they are sort of the height of that thing, right, I mean documenting everything publicly, you know, I did that. I do think that there is going to be UM, a return to privacy to some degram and I think you see it a lot more also with people that are very public also and they're like, so this happened over the weekend and then

they got married. It's just it's that thing. I feel like people are recognizing the difference between like the private moments that are meant to be special in your private life and and then what you know you need to be out there with for I mean a lot of people do you have to be on social media for

their jobs, for their livelihood. But um, but I do think that lines are starting to be drawn that are a little being absorbed and amplified more by you know, and I think we're funny want to be less and less true. I think we go to things and see people's ads on their Twitter feed or like that. We don't. We don't. We're like whatever, like it doesn't you know, just because you have a lot of people on Twitter doesn't mean that people are active or into it, you

know what I mean. They want content or they want to be You've got at the end of the day, whatever it is you are trying to pitch to people has to be good. So, Greg, you also talk about how a bad proposal can can set the stage for a bad marriage, and you've talked about your own experience. Well, you just got you just did it right. I just got engaged, yes, a month ago from Sunday. And did you do the proposing? Yes? Okay wait wait do a lot of women proposal? Well, we we don't like to

assume that anyone's at this point. We want to make sure that it's okay that everyone does anything. So we always asked because yeah, I guess I think, I think I don't know, so how God, long story short, we met on a show called Bachelor in Paradise, you too to three years ago? Now three years ago? Excuse me? And uh we dated off the show and developed a love off the show, and then, um, we had an opportunity to go back and I had an opportunity to

go back on the beach. We first met on Bachelor in Paradise this season coming up and proposed at the very beach we we first said our help. So that's what I that's what I did. I proposed on the beach in portofore To Mexico. Um, and I can't talk too much about many people that don't know his story, like we're we're literally like really show I was. I was on a show called The Bachelorette she was on a call show called The Bachelor, and then we met

on the spin off show called Bachelor in Paradise. Were on two season into that. There was ups and downs, didn't work out. We started dating off the show, developing a love in a relationship there and then we had an opportun you need to come back on this season of Bachelor in Paradise. Didn't get engaged. How did That's amazing If you don't think I'm going straight home and pulling that up immediately, Yeah, it's a long story. Might need to set a couple days. It's very exciting. Thank you.

I appreciate it. And that's not really most people's experience right now. Usually experiences you go on the show, you know each other for a month, and then you decide whether you want to get engaged or not. And where ours was far different. When we started dating, it didn't work out in the beginning years, and then we started cultivating a friendship that led into romance and then now it has led into a very loving and which is relationship.

So it's the antithesis of what like you survived, You're survived despite it, and it's the antithesis of what the show is saying exactly it is saying it is not really possible to make that connection in a couple of weeks. Although we people thrilled to watch it, love it, um uh and um and then but you, but so it was a thing that was genuinely real, and overtime became it was bigger than the show. It doesn't want to say that a lot about rich bachelor relationships aren't real

because they are. Like I have friends I have gone gauged after a month of knowing each other and now have kids, have been married for two years, and it all works in different ways. Of course I personally just didn't work that way. You know, here's my Our thing has always been like you can always how can you

argue for less information? Of course, the less time spent, less time because one of the things in this book that we talked about is the speed it which you get married sometimes rules out what you know about the person. And then um, in the height of all that love, if you haven't spent a lot of real time together, you don't have conversations that you would have had a

year or two later that are important. You know, there are things that you do early on that set the stage for not knowing, and then those things that you've sort of ignored, like oh, that will will work on that, that'll get better and we'll talk, and then it comes back as a landmine and then you know it's. Um it's over time that stuff really can um small, tiny

ship can really become big totally. To find that there should be some sort of timeframe of like dating, engagement, and then before marriage, Like would you be like you have to know the person before a year before you

get engaged. I think that would be wise because I really feel like the first the first three or four months, you neither of you are being actually who you are because it's so exciting and for whatever reason, in combination with that person, you were like the best and brightest you, and they're the best and brightest them, And you're so accommodating with each other, and you're so considered of each other, and you're not setting any boundaries, and ultimately you're just

playing this game of like, look how easy going and cool I am. Whereas when you have time to the other time spent together, you know, you get to know each other more authentically, you start behaving more authentically, and ultimately you can have the conversations of like, you know what, that thing that I was cool with, I'm actually not cool with that, and it really bothers me. I really feel like you need time to know each other before you actually know if you can. And I know you

actually are those people. You are those people, but you think the other person is responsible for it. What happens is you reflect yourself back to yourself when you're like when somebody that you like likes you back, and you're like, I'm as good as I think I am, and then you become that thing because they validate you for whatever reason because how cool they are, and that's a reflection back to them. And the thing is that is who

you are. But you think, oh, she's loving me, so I'm getting that love from her, So she does anything different than she doesn't love me, and that's gonna mess up my whole thing, when in fact, it was you all along. And I think that's the thing you try to maintain, is like you know you are responsible for

your happiness at all times. I agree to that, and it's it's it rings really true because there will be even times with my relationship where maybe Ashley is not holding my hand or something and I'm like, oh, does she not like? What happened? Is she's not happy with me? Right now? Did I do something? And then I realized no, no, just grab her hand, like I'm responsible for my own happiness.

I need to take action sort of thing. But that you can read, you can read motive into things that aren't happening right and then and but then if you don't make that in that moment realization, that thing carries onto why didn't you talk to me at dinner? And then it gets weird and then it's about the movie and the next thing you know, you're in this whole

and now you're pouting and that's ugly. And now they now they have reason not to like, like it can go to this domino effect place and and you're not present. Now you're in your head. I mean, if you're already having the fight before you get downstairs, it's you, that's you. You've created the thing, the story. I go through this all the time. How does how do I stop that? You have to stop and go what's actually happening here? What if they actually what is this fight I'm having? Okay,

she didn't do this? Okay, well, she didn't do this implies that that she was supposed to do something for you, which is not the agreement. What is the thing that she didn't do? And are you sure that's what it means? And is there a way you can talk about it civilly? And also are you too sensitive? And maybe it'd be better do your instinct just to talk about it. So don't take the opposite action. Go for a run, go do something else. Let it go, because sometimes you'll come

back and go, oh my god. If I have said that she was actually trying to surprise me my birthday, I just thought she's being cold, I could have ruined. Like there's a few times when I've held back and went, oh my god, I could have really ruined Christmas. I have ruined Christmas. I have also ruined Christmas. But but

other Christmas is It's so true though. Sometimes if I'm for some reason, I'm into my home the head and i feel like I'm not getting something and I'm getting angry, and then it's that domino effect when I started thinking about the past and I'm getting to my own head.

I'll call one of my friends and just like kind of like leave the room, get get some air, and then call one of my best buddies and just like talk about something other than whatever I'm going through right now, whether it be sports or something way more easy going. And then I hang up the phone and I'm like, why the hell was I so mad about that ten minutes later? And why am I so okay with it now?

Because it's just I just level myself off. And also it's like, I don't think I'm lovable, I don't think I'm cute, I don't whatever it is that I'm not getting is me. I think that about myself. I've decided they do, and that you'll make that true because you'll act it out, and that they'll feel they'll the universe does exactly what you wanted to. People do exactly what you want them to. If you show them that they

do exactly, they behave exactly. I mean, as I've gotten all that, I realized, like my feeling about people is always depended on my mood, and I will hear something differently depending on my mood. Sometimes I wanna say something to me that like that would have been an insult yesterday, but I don't feel that way now because I don't care.

So you really have to monitor yourself and the other thing is I think that we take for granted that this relationship started out in a sexual way, in a in a romantic way, and so therefore we they're not They're not our best friend like our best friend. Where we go. I can dumple my my best friend, and he's gonna go home. He doesn't have to live with me.

And one of the things that, like in the recovery stuff that I'm in, one of the things is bring your problem somewhere else, take the solution home, take your problem somewhere else, come home, because this is this is the person you're trying to protect. You're trying to give them the best life possible. You want their area to feel safe, and you want them to feel free, and uh, and you don't. Also, you're you're coming in and telling

them sometimes I'm a loser. I got fired, and while they're like, oh my god, dude, pull it together, because you broadcast your insecurities and then you start projecting them and then your significant other starts believing you yes or also doesn't know what to do with it. Most of the time, people go, you know, and men always have solutions, and usually women have not asked questions as I said, before you find up, well, here's what you should do. And no, no I didn't ask you. I just want

to tell you. We want to answer. We want solutions, so we go home. We want what we're like fixed me? What is it? I've told you a problem? And uh. And that's that's how they work. So, you know, and usually people and when I say they work, I usually feel like in every relationship, one person takes a role, the other one take together. That just is the way it is. You know, they're you know, you can call it man if I don't know what you call it, alphabe,

I would call it alpha beta or whatever. You know, like you know some person is that's not that's what it is. Yeah, Yeah, I feel like I'm both in my relationship. I can be. I probably I'm probably more than idiot, right if the podcast after that? So tell me the eighteen years of marriage. What's the secret? Well, I always say it's, um, the six of the best

years of my life, not in a row. I mean marriage is literally like a great week here, an uneventful period here, maybe a downshift there, but ultimately, you know, in a marriage, when you're going into it, like you you build equity in a relationship so that when you have bad times you can you know your love for each other and in the history you've built together in the life be together can bring you through it because you know, ultimately, our whole life going back to the

social media thing, our whole life isn't a highlight reel. You know, there's and hopefully it's not a low light reel. You know, there's a lot of just like mundane pleasant in between. Um. But when you have the expectation of your life being a highlight reel, it's going to be disappointing. And if you pick the right person to marry and you're able to be in a collaborative relationship and have

difficult conversations and um, and you have the willingness. Somebody said to me, it's just not it's exactly being sober. You just I don't have to be married for rest of my life. You just have been married today. I can't not drink tomorrow because tomorrow doesn't happened. I can only I can only not drink today, So I stay married.

We stay married to midnight. And like a practice instead of an institution, like it's something that you know, it's like yoga, or journal writing or drinking eight glasses of water. It's something you consciously throw your whole body into every day and try to be mindful and present and um and let somebody know that you appreciate them and you appreciate what they're doing, because at the end of the day, you know, it's not fifty, it's a hundred hundred. You

have to put a percent in it. And there's you either both win or you both lose. And your forgiveness, your forgiveness muscle, because if you can't forgive somebody, if you carried that resentment around, that's what that's what you're living. And then eventually that person will go, I can't live with you being upset with me forever because that's the house I come home to, or that's what I'm in every day. And you know, look, you know we're going

to make mistakes. You're gonna hurt, You're gonna do something stupid, You're gonna do something really um drop the baby, you know. I mean people do all kinds of people could do all kinds of dumb make dumb mistakes and do things where the other person can't forgive them because that's their packet. They're their things that they're hung up about. And the problem with that is then okay, well now we're both stuck in the state and we're not going any worse.

And even sometimes if you do. Look, I can't forgive somebody then leave them, tell them I can't. I can't get over this because I we can't live in this permanent state of and nobody. By the way, when you reres in somebody, everybody knows it, the kids know it, your family knows that, nobody wants it to continue. The whole staying married for the kids thing is not a thing because I know who want the kids would guarantee

you your kids a go. I was five, and I want you guys to stop fighting or not be happy. I could tell. So you know, you really serve the relationship by making sure that you were getting those getting through those resentments, are being able to figure out how can we get this so we can both move on. Yeah, I think the forgiveness thing works both ways too, because I think you have to forgive your partner so you

don't resent them. But I also think they have to figure yourself a lot of times, because guilt will stay with you for a very long time and I think guilt and shame will make you do some really dumb things. And and that's both people not wanting to go forward. That's what people who don't win do. If I blame myself, then I don't really have to do anything because I'm so bad and I feel bad and I shouldn't have been.

I can't forgive myself. Okay, Well the world doesn't care. Yeah, you're the world wants you to feel okay, and and and your partner wants you to feel Also, how big of the problem is it? You know, like, if you actually let it land, is it a tiny problem or is it a monstrous problem? Because a lot of times the visceral feeling of conflict or fear or guilt or shame is so overwhelming that we think it's so much

bigger than it actually is. Like when you line it, when you line it up next to actual problems, you go, oh, this is ten weeks from now, no one's going to

remember this. Oh, I absolutely agree. That's what goes back with Greg was saying about how you can get in your own head and like a small problem creates this huge problem because the domino effect and then you just take ten minutes away, go for a run, do something that makes you feel better, drive, listen to music, and then you come back and you're just completely level again and realize, holy crap, that was the smallest problem, and go to ruin Christmas and I will say that what

the reason that an ambulance? Exactly, it's an aspirin. Not I that I love that too. The reason I think that we stay married is that when we get out of our crap and when we do move on when we're together, our lives get better almost instantly. When the two of us are together, Yeah, I mean, I mean, it's taken us a long time to learn. We've been long periods of forgetting it or not even wanting to try. I mean, you know there, you know, you can get

in a bad place, things happen. But we just realized, like every time we're really really happy, any event that has been really really great, anytime we've had any successes, because we were together and both agreed that we should be doing what we're doing and loving each other. And it's hard, it's really hard to maintain, you know, but but that is the key. Greg Mirror, you guys are incredible. We didn't even scratch the surface of the questions that

I had for you. But you're incredible. You're fascinating. Man. We need you guys back in here. I would love to help Second Dating needs you guys back in here because I've honestly learned so much in the past half hour and I've gone through three of the nine questions that we've had for you guys. Um. So, also, you guys have the How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking book coming out and you have a signing. Can you

tell me about that? We have a signing on August two at Book Soup here in Los Angeles, where we will also be recording a live podcast of our podcast called Maybe It's You, which is you would lose relationships and behaviors? Oh, Ashley and I'm ready. I'm answering for Ashley. We're coming out. Yeah, that would be contact. Looking forward to it. But yeah, so August to my second book, Super August twenty two at the Book Super in l A. You guys can go check out How to Keep Your

Marriage and Sucking. You can meet Gregg the Mirror. They will sign it for you. It'll be a great event. Definitely check it out. Um yeah, and then check out your podcast what was named podcast. It's called Maybe It's You. Maybe It's You. Check out their podcast. You guys are incredible. Thank you so much for coming in, Thank you for having it. And we'll definitely have you soon and we'll be on your podcast. Fantastic, man, that'd be great. So we just had Greg in a mirror left. God, they

were so wonderful. We gotta get them back on this podcast. Um. And but we do have to check on a special friend right now who usually as a host on this podcast, but is god knows where in the world. Dean, are you out there? Hello? Hello Dean. You are joined by Easton and Erica Vanessa. Vanessa's you know, got aunt duties right now. She's doing her doing her thing right now, Dean, where are you in the world? I am current Malaysia. It is three oh five in the morning. Oh my god. Well,

thank you for joining us. Hey, how do you how do you to to be able to join you? Guys? What's it really going over there? A things are wonderful, but we want to know more about your trips. So what are you doing? You're just traveling around the world? Huh um, yeah, I don't think. I kind of talked about this right.

I'm on both the podcast before fourth of July. Um, I just always wanted to travel to Japan, so I booked in one lake ticket and then things kind of snowballed a little bit and it just became this trip that, um it's going to just kind of taking a few places. So I'm in the middle of it. Um, I decided to kind of turn into this thing. Well, I mean, I guess me and some of the producers decided to turn and do a thing where Wall line traveling and you know, obviously most of the people that we talked

to are central to the United States. Would be interesting to kind of dive into a little bit of dating in different cultures. And for the past few NFT weeks I've been I went to Japan, Indonesia, and now I'm in Malaysia, so mostly Asian countries. But um, it's been crazy. Man. It's like I'm traveling alone and meeting people and just like spending a lot of time by myself. So it's

been pretty great so far. I miss you guys, though, I want to The one thing I can't wait to get back to is, you know, get back to the podcast and and see you guys. Again, do we definitely miss you Mr Vibe in the in the studio. So can you tell anything that you've learned about different dating cultures? Um, yeah, they're there. It's really really interesting to be perfectly honest. I mean, I think that typically the aged countries are

a little bit more reserved with they're dating. But funny enough, so I went out tonight with a group of new friends I guess now, and um, they were like unabashedly honest about the things that they were Um, have experience and have like, uh most for what I'm looking for, like explored physically all that kind of stuff. And I was blown away because in Japan what I saw a lot of a lot of like reservation and like pensiveness

in relationships. So in Japan, I uh, I met up with a friend who grew up in the same area as me, but who also grew up in Japan, and she was telling me, She's like, yeah, like it's really hard to date here because you know, guys are headed in to make make the first move and um, you know, it's just not really quite the same as it as in the US. And then in the Indonesia, I'm up with a friend who is a transplant out there who's

been moving at that for about six months. And she was like talking about how difficult to this day in Indonesia and specifically because it's such a transient culture and uh, you know, people come in and out all the time and hark to like kind of walk yourself into the one relationship and then I'm here UM. And one of

the girls that I was with tonight is recently engaged. UM. And one of the one of the other ones was like talking about all of these like physical explorations that she was doing with a boyfriend like a year ago. And I was blowing my mind because I was like, these things that I would think, like even for someone in the US to be like, I don't know, incredibly uh,

I guess exploringative UM. And so it's just weird how much things can vary, like because I know Malaysia specifically, it has like a very strong Islam uh influence, and so you would think like they're a little bit more like UM in their show owners are more kind of stuff. But I feel like it's not necessarily the case so much. Yeah, grab for a little bit right there, Sorry about that.

No, No No, I was gonna say it doesn't sound like they're too like you're saying, in the reserve, but that's the second time you mentioned somebody talking about like a physical expert, you know, exploring of each other in a relationship. And I feel that like if you were reserved, you wouldn't really want to talk about any type of sex. And I know, I feel like even us as focus on the podcast, like I feel like talking about sex is like a little taboo, or at least for me.

I think it's in the States like that. I think in the States it's mostly like that a lot of people just don't touch that subject. Yeah, And I know, like obviously, like you and I joked around about it a little bit, but we don't really like side too

deep into it. Um. But they were just like talking about these things and that, Like even I was like I was like blushing about because I was I don't know, it's just it was really weird because I came into um, you know this, I guess traveling experience is thinking, um, you know, obviously not having having any attention to go on dates or anything while in here, but at least like to to kind of get a better understanding of what it's like to date for both the locals and

the people that travel to these places. Um, and we always have like these these least I guess ideas in our head about what it's going to be like, and then you get there and it's kind of completely not completely different, but at least different on many levels than you kind of had coming into it. So I don't it's been a pretty cool experience so far. It's like, obviously, you know, I'm so I don't think I'm really spending enough time in any of these locations to really like

fully understand. I think that obviously would take a lot of time. I spent a week in Japan and then a week in Indonesia, and I've only been in Malaysia first three or four days. But um, it's been it's been a pretty cool experience to be able to, uh, to kind of sit down and talk with some of them. I think one of my first nights in Japan, I went I was like walking up by myself and I stumbled into this the r rcade and I was like

the only single person in there. There was probably like twenty or twenty five couples, and it was just funny to like, no, I think I wasn't like watching the couples interact, but like you know, it's it's like you're just kind of been hearing around these people, so you kind of like aren't aware of it. And it was just like in Japan at least, they were much more I felt like they were all in high school relationships when they were all definitely like in their twenties, you

know what I mean. That's interesting. Did it seem like in Japan that they couple up early on in life and then it's it's more of like I feel like here in the States, everybody kind of waits to get married into the late twenties, early thirties. Did you find any difference in Japan. I think in Japan they definitely

wanted to meet younger, right. And then it's it's interesting too because at least with Japan and Malasia, from what I've seen, is they like being in relationships with people of the same culture, which I don't think we see necessarily quite as much in the US. Like we're maybe I don't I don't want to say more open minded, but we're more I guess willing to uh dive into relationships with people of different I guess ethnic backgrounds tonight.

For instance, Uh, in Malaysia, there's there's three main cultures that um Indian, Malaysian, and Chinese. And I probably I

got that run, but that's something along the lines. And the Malaysians don't really the Chinese, the Chinese really Indians, and like all this kind of stuff, and it's just interesting how, uh, we don't really see much of that, you know, like one of the girls that I was telling me how she just introduced her Malaysian boyfriends to her Chinese mom and how the mom looks like a little kind of put off by it, you know what I mean. And it's just it's like an interesting component

that we don't necessarily normal normally think about in the US. No, yeah, we don't think about it at all. We're very much of a melting pot of here, especially in California. I think other parts of the country might be a little different, like the South, having lived there, but especially in California it is a lot more open minded. Yeah, so that was interesting to hear. It's just like, I don't know,

I came in really knowing much. You're expecting much, but was maybe a few misconceptions or or just things I necessarily know about coming into it. The question is have you gone on any dates while you've been over there. I'm not. It's been great, Honestly, it's super damn No, maybe I should start going on dates to La Chavel, but no, I mean it's been I've been super super fortunate. It's it's weird to travel alone. It's it's weird to

travel alone. Um in this situation where like, for instance, I was like traveling to Hiroshima via train from Tokyo, right, and I like posted on my Instagram, so I'm like, oh, I'm up to Hiroshima today, and someone like dms me and they're like, hey, my husband is a picture for the baseball team in Hiroshima. Like I can get you too, tickets, like feel free to take them if you want. That's awesome.

Went to the baseball game, and then like like on the way that to Malaysia, for instance, I was like, hey, I'm going to cool and poor and then some girl reached out and it's like, oh my gosh, like love to show you around and and like obviously kind of

give you like the locals perspective. So it's been a super fortunate experience to be able to like I can spend time alone, which I don't think any of us really do enough of, but then I can also maybe get like the locals, I guess, insight and perspective I've

been when I want it. And I think one of the steralizations that I had the other day was I've been alone for two a half weeks and admit me like meeting up with friends like before, like friends that I actually knew before leaving UM, and I kind of like really really liked being alone. Maybe not for like an extended period of time, but I think that I've I've enjoyed it quite a bit, which has been kind

of surprising for me. It's like, I don't know, I think that, uh, for me specifically, when I was younger, I spent a lot of time alone, and like, I think you kind of developed certain like patterns of thought when you're by yourself. And then lately, not lately, but like maybe within the past like eight years of my life, I've spent it very socially and you kind of tend to kind of like stade away from those ways of thinking. And over the past like two and a half weeks,

but I've spent most of my time predominantly alone. It's like I kind of see myself thinking similar to how I did when I was maybe like in my Team's not like same talk, but like similar patterns about you know what I mean. So it's just been like a weird process that's really interesting. I think it's just a

growing process. Anytime you go to a different culture, a new country, different environment, you add a later your character that wasn't there before, And so I think that's not only a good experience, but I think also when you uped into being alone, I think nobody feels alone anymore because you have so many different avenues of hanging out with people and talking to someone every minute of every day that people just don't even allow themselves to spend

an hour alone because there's no need to. You're just so connected with the world, right and it's it's hard to because like obviously you know, with social media and I guess the ability to talk to anyone at any time, you never will be alone, which is kind of nice. Like if you don't want to be fully consumed by your thought, that you can like calling your friends or

like text someone. It's knowing that, um, so it's kind of nice to kind of always have the ability, but yeah, I feel like I feel like, especially nowadays, like people kind of use like their friendships and all that kind of stuff tymes of crutch to uh you know, which is great. I think that everyone should be able to do that, but I think that, you know, it's also deal with to spend time by yourself, like, um, I don't know, just like read, I like lads in my writing,

which is very uncomplet unlike me. I don't really right every so where do you write stuff? I like, I like, woke up in the middle of night the other night and I think I'm just gonna start raining stuff. I'll share some of the stuff later on. Maybe I'll like contense it and yeah, we'd love to I want to hear that. I just I don't know. It's just it's fun to be able to do it. But um, you're like Jerry McGuire waking up in the middle of the night. Yeah, I feel me on your man, I want to hear

a little bit more about you. Ask you and you knew you could save it for later, but uh, what's what's going on with all that same old, same old you know? I mean, you were here for the engagement and I've just grown more and more in love with that woman every day. Um, things are great. We went to East Coast, went to visit my parents in Rhode Island, went to visit her parents in Virginia. It was wonderful. And she wore the ring, right, Yeah, she wore the rings.

So she's been wearing and around. She got a re sized that Neil Lane. She might have to get a real resize one more time. But the ring is beautiful. She's amazing. Things are just, um, really really good. I've never been happier. I it's it comes to a point where almost it's just too good, you know where I'm almost waiting for the Florida drop because it's it's just like, oh God, this is I've never been happier. Things are so good. Something's got to give. But I just put

those thoughts aside because, um, you know, don't protect your insecurities. Yeah, it's gonna be that good. So thank you for asking, Dean. Yeah, things are great. Vanessa was on the podcast earlier. She's single again. Um. She announced that I know she's single, ready to mingle up in those Canada areas. Um, I know, right, good God, did I say that oddly, and I was trying to make it funny. It didn't really work out that well. Um, but Dean, we miss you, buddy. We

can't wait to see you. Please be safe on your trip. You're going, so where where else are you going on this trip? Um? So tomorrow, well I get some six hours, take off for Singapore for a day. I'm up to greet four to five days, and I think next week, I think we're gonna I would hope that we can check you next week. On Tuesday, I will be in Paris. Oh my, I'll be able to give some uh some hopefully some interesting insight from Paris. UM's talking French to

each other. That's a good point. And then from Paris I go to Amsterdam and then Amsterdam to Dublin and then Dublin to Rape to back Iceland, and then Iceland New York, and then New York back to Los Angeles. Holy moly, you are just a world traveler. That's amazing. I'm like shocked right now. It's amazing. There's no words. Um. So, if you guys have any interesting things that you want me to dive into in either Greece or Paris, please,

by all means let me know. Maybe what we can do is if if any of the listeners have any questions for anything that they want me to like ask

people all on out there. I think that would be pretty interesting because I feel like, like like, like uh we said earlier, it's like, obviously a lot of the perspective that we lend a hundred percent of the perspective that we lend is based just locally in the US, and you don't really get much outside perspective, and obviously outside of Canada too, But um, how do you think it's a unique interesting to hear about how it's different from from one country to the next or one culture the

next year. Absolutely, I can'tpletely agree. We'll be safe, brother, We miss you, love you, can't wait to see you have fun, and we'll talk to in Paris. Keep keep doing a great job. Jared. I'm bumm. I'm not there with you, but I'm glad to get that things are going. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks, man, I'm bummed too, but excited to see you have fun. We'll talk soon. By god, that guy is such a good guy. He really is. Yeah. Every time I talked to Dean, I

just get reminded of what I know. This sounds weird, but he just comes up so pure like, doesn't he. I just want him to find something, yeah, makes him happy. I want him to find someone that makes him happy. I want to just hug him every time I see him. He's like a dog. But in the that's the but no, this is the most It's the most endearing thing I could possibly say, is that he just like gives off vibes like a puppy. He's always smiling, he's always happy.

Every time I talk to him. I'm just like, Dean, you just goddamn it. You're so adorable. You know, am I the only one in this word that thinkes us? I get it? Ding Caid show up at my door and look at me in the eyes and say, Eastern, I just murdered your whole family. And I'd be like, oh, come here, you get out of give me come in first, some meat, lo if I just made something. It's just it's amazing. He's a very endearing man. I mean, he's endearing and I hate hugs, but I do hugg Dean.

How can you not? He doesn't even wash his hands, and I'm like, yes, you can touch me. Whoa wow. You know Sheldon rubbed all that good stuff. Um, So we don't have time for emails. We're in a little long today, but we're gonna get to all your emails next week, so please tune in for that. A big shout out to Patti Stanger for joining us today. That was amazing. She was incredible. She gave so much insight. Big shout out to Greg Barron and his wife Amira

for joining us. They have their new book coming out August twenty two. At the Book Soup in l A. They're doing a book signing for their brand new book, so big shout out for them. Big shout out to Sugar Bear Hair. Definitely check out sugar bear Hair dot com slash hell um yeah for thick, luscious, healthy hair like we all want and all have because of Sugar Bear Hair. Is a big shout out to them. Big shout out to Dean for calling us while he was in Malaysia. He's going to be in Paris next week.

We definitely have to try to connect to him there while he's sitting beneath that you know, Eiffel Tower and we're here in the studio in l A big shout out to Vanessa for doing her aunt. Thank for joining us for the first twenty minutes of the segment. We really appreciate that. Love you Vanessa, Thank you Erica, Thank you Eastan. You guys are incredible. Please keep sending us your emails Easton what is the email address? One more time? It's I suck at Dating at i heeart media dot com. Perfect.

We have the emails from this week. We're gonna read those next week, but please keep sending them. We love reading them. Those are the best part of the show for me. Uh So, tune in next week for an all new episode where hopefully we suck a little less. Follow help by Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa, and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast