#38 Engagement Fast Track

So everything everything's kind of been happening so fast. This is all It aired last night, and so was this the first time that you guys saw every the episode since everything went down here? Yeah? Yeah, you know that's always exciting. It's like, let me see what they're gonna do with this episode. How are they going to edit it? How are they going to cramp everything into one hour and to get everyone involved and excited like we are? So how long did the actual did filming actually take

like six hours? Okay, so I was there for I was in the audience for the first episode, which was I cannot remember her name, but she was the country singer and so that took That was a long day. So I can only the first one, I'm sure. Oh yeah, so said about seven eight hours, but you guys are six hours, so you guys are right behind there. That's it's a pretty good time. Um. So Lisa Ray, tell me about tell me about yourself. So, like, how did this even come about you coming on the show? First?

Let me say this, I love the name of this show. So you know I was right there on you know, right there on the head um, no point intended, but yeah, looking for love. You know, I've been looking for love for years and been single for years and really trying to to be committed into some type of relationship, whether it was the beginning of a friendship or the beginning of a love affair or even just a buddy that you see every now and then. It was like nothing's happening.

And I was dating, and you know, I was going on dating sites and online dating and man shop, being absent, Cupid and friends and happy hours, and it was like, Okay, clearly it's not happening, no time soon. And you know, people have all those cliche sayings of you know, you never look for the man. Let God bring your man to you. And it's like, yeah, God's not listening, He's answering other things. And I'm blessed in other you know, errors in my life. And I'm sure he has the plan.

I'm just trying to keep up and been aligned me with that. But I was like, I'm lonely. I'm lonely, and so can I have a companion? Can I start dating my husband now? Can I start getting to know him now? You know? And and they said they we have a new show and do you want to do it? And it was like, what do I sign up? It's crazy enough to be good? Where where? Right here? And I signed them the diet line. Oh that's awesome, right well,

why not? You know, like life only gives you so many doors to open, you should open every single one of them and take every opportunity you can possibly get. And I believe that because you know, who's to say that love at first sight doesn't happen or can't happen to you? You know, I mean, I'm a fan of love, and so you know, let's get out there. You know, no matter how you meet them, you can meet someone at the club or the bar and not know anything

about them. You don't. You don't know anything about anybody until you get together and start a relationship and start you know, getting to you know, ask questions about each other. You know, what's your religion and what do you feel about politics? And you know, do you think Trump sucks like I do? And you know all those things, you know, brunting. So, Anthony, how did you get on the show? How this all

start for you? Well? I had a friend take me to a happy hour and got me a little sauce stuff and the next thing I know, I am online filling out an application for the show. So he had a friend actually who's the producer of the show, and they were looking for people and they thought I would be a good candidate. So and so, what you're like friends and family think when you were like, hey, I'm gonna go on a very supportive you know, every everything.

I don't know. I guess everybody's thinking that they're going to write my cotails to Hollywood somehow, everybody. I'm sure your phone has been blowing up the last twenty four hours. So I remember those days when your first your first name gets released. You're a TV. All of a sudden, you hear from people ten years ago and they're like, why didn't you tell me you're on the show. Well, we haven't talked to each other in about ten years.

So that's why. That's what we were talking about last night, Like just friends that you would have known if we would have been talking. But now you want to call me, and now you want to know you know, so what's on TV? Like everyone else? So what is your friends and family have said since everything's happened? What do they think of everything? Why didn't we didn't tell them? My

people have been very supportively, Yeah, and so that's amazing here. Yeah, it's always good to have a good like support system surrounding you. You know, that's the most important thing. And even like when I went on UM so, I was on The Bachelorette and um which is also ABC, and so it was the same thing where you know, I have to talk to my parents and like, um so, I'm gonna do this show that you've probably heard of. And it's always nice to have people who say, hey, well,

no matter what happens, we're gonna have your back. And so that we're living in an untraditional time now, you know, and so you know, with so many people having profiles on Instagram that wants to be Insta famous and you know Twitter and everything. You know, people are really you know, like like Tinder and like you know, a matchmaker, and you have all these different opportunities out there, and it's like, well why not because there's others that I know that

it's made it work. So then there's hope, like okay, well they're to be different and dream you know, And that's what life is about. This is this one big fairy tale that you're just living life. Of course, I mean it's a very cliche line now, but Michael Jordan one said, you miss a pent of the shots that you don't take, um, And that's true about life. You know, everything you I I don't want to live with regret. So if that means doing everything I have to, I'm

going to do it and wishing it. You would have, could have, should have, but you didn't exactly. There's nothing worse than looking back and saying, what if I did that? Why didn't I do that? You know? And um, all right, so when did you know Anthony was the one? Um?

Maybe two minutes before the show was over, and yeah, because I was actually you know, uh, you know it was the the last two you know, choices, and it was like, Okay, you picked this guy because of these reasons, and you picked this guy because of those reasons, But which are the balance of the two? You know, which one are you really going to go for? You know,

do you go for? You know the things that you wrote down and maybe the things you think that you don't see in that person because you don't know what's there yet, you know, I mean, you have to take a chance on both. But you know who do you see yourself really compatible with or standing next to and feeling like we can take a great picture together, you know what I mean? And I think that way, you

know what I mean. I think like you know how you're going to compliment me just as well as how I can compliment you in your life and you know, emotionally, physically, financially, every kind of way, you know what I mean. You think that especially when you get a little older. You know, I'm not a spring chicken. You know, I've been around

the block. So I'm not pretending like I haven't done this before, because both he and our divorces we've been did this before, you know, And so now you learn from those mistakes and you learn from the things that you want to take with you from the marriage that

you had previously into your new relationship, you know. And so I know what I'm looking for, I know what I want, and I'm sure that you know you had your your list of things and qualities that you are looking for in your spouse, you know, And so then you cross those things out and the things that don't work,

and that's a deal. Record then we'll deal with those and things that we feel like, hey, you know, I didn't know that you needed that, and I don't know how to do that, but I'm willing to do it, and you kind of move forward on the journey. Yeah. Absolutely, So Anthony, what what when did you know that you we're gonna propose? Like, how did you How was your thinking in that moment? And you're like, what am I going to propose? How am I going to do it? Um?

And what made you ultimately decide all right, I'm going to do this thing? Well, you know what Adonis proposing put some pressure, of course, it's right, exactly so. Um. But going into the process of the show, Um, they asked me from the beginning, if we found the perfect person for you would you want to propose, said, of course, you know, if you found this perfect person that meets all this criteria that that I laid out for them. And when she came out of the pod, I realized,

you know what, she checked all the boxes. That's so sweet. Yeah, it was love at first sight, definitely. That's the cool thing about the proposal is that it does really feed into love at first sight, because that's the whole idea of the show is that you only meet each other through I mean, you came out of the pod probably what two hours before he proposed, No, not even that, and you know what, you have to fall in love with the possibility of the things that has written down

that you know about the person. You know. In the beginning, I said I'm a mother, I'm a grandmother. That could be a deal breaker for a lot of men. They could say a grandmother, so not only do you have a kid, I have to take care of a grandchild and see that baby too. That maybe out of the character of that person, they may say I'm done with my kids, or I don't want kids. You know, my career, I'm gone a lot, he travels a lot. That maybe

a dealbreaker. You may say, yeah, I want someone that's going to be at home because I want my meals to be you know, done at six thirty because I get home at six o'clock and take my shower and eat dinner. You know. So you have to be able to be open and minded enough to be able to say, Okay, this person is a career orientated person. She's this, she's that. I don't know who she is, but I can. I

can go for something like this. And if she looks you know, tasty or you know, tantalizing or sexy or you know, she's someone that's a looker, you know when she comes out, then and that's me, you know, yes, you know, complete package. And it's like and then you go from there. You guys living right now, I live in I live in California, Chicago. We'll go from Chicago though, so my my mom is still there, my family is still there, So I'm back and forth a lot. Do

you have any plans of moving in? I grew up in Chicago, but I'm from l A. So I've got very nice So this was really worked out, checked off all the box. So like any plans of like maybe you go in to Chicago, you coming here to Southern Cali. Well he's been here about three or four times already. Okay, and like we said, it's been like maybe just a couple of months already, so your time, there's no rush. And so what was the feeling as soon as you guys,

camera shut off, it's over. You guys are engaged, Like what was that moment being like okay, now it's sinking in what was still sinking? It was good? I mean at the moment, it was a high for me totally. I mean I feel like the luckiest man world. That's awesome, definitely, that's my line. But it's just rating you. You know, it's just the vibe. Vibe is in the air. Love is in the air right now. I can totally tell it between you guys. And that's really cool to see

because obviously you know the proposal. It's a very new show. Um, and it's a it's an obscure show, right because it's like, you know, you meet somebody. I mean, like for you, you you had to eliminate what four guys And that was so hard because I don't like hurting anyone's feelings unless they do something to me. So um, you know, I was like, how do I eliminate these guys? Like they haven't done anything and they need to I need more, you know what I mean, before our eliminate. But I

had to, you know, I had those quarterios. I had to, you know, do the elimination. So it could only be off of the physicality, you know. Physical It's like, can I see myself with that person? No? Not really. Maybe he's too short, maybe he's too thin, maybe he's too big,

maybe he's too whatever that is, you know. So I started doing it from that process, and then you know, I started going down and down and down, and they got down to four guys and three and the two it was just like and then I was in my head going getting help here, Like the audience was like really quiet, like really making me make the decision totally on my own. I was like, can I get something? I looked over at my family like, well, they was

all in shock, like really you pick big? And so, you know, all the way to the end, I was just like, um, yeah, well with Chicago, there we go. I like it. And then how long ago was filming and a half months so end of April, so you guys have been dating for two and a half months. So uh so yeah, I I think you know, like coming from my background with the Bachelor's well, I've had friends I've gotten engaged on the show after only knowing them from you know, a person for a month and

they say the same thing. We're like, yeah, we're you know, we got engaged, but it's really like we're dating after the show because you know, you're in this bubble and then everything happened so fast and film you guys are engaged, and it's like, Okay, now we need to really know exactly get to know each other because like you're living habits. How you know, you guys get along like you were talking about before, like do you want a homebody? Do you want to travel a lot? Is that going to

be an issue? Um? So it's pretty cool. So what's next for you guys? What's on the horizon? Yes, you guys have earned it. Yeah, we're gonna plan something to go somewhere and have some nice time together and and build some memories and have some adventure. You know, we both nature people, we both like to to be outdoors and you know, water sports and and then any idea of where you guys are to go. I think I want to leave that up to him, because I just

know that I want to go someplace hot. The heat is here too, but I want to go somewhere tropical. And then any ideas for wedding dates, plans, anything in the air right now, you guys have talked about I know it's early. Um, we haven't planned anything as of yet yet, but you know, we're just taking steps towards that. So No, absolutely, I can totally understand where you're coming from,

being engaged myself recently. Congratulations, Thank you so much. I appreciate you you met her earlier, and so I'm completely in your boat in terms of let's just enjoy being fiance's right now, live in the moment, and wedding plans will will come shortly there to keep them on the piece and queues, you know, on the outskirts of you know, keep them on their toes. No, you guys can follow

the journey, Yes, follow the journey well. Lisa Ray Anthony from ABC's The Proposal, congratulations from everybody here at help. I second dating you too, obviously, do not help need any help. Um, I'm so happy for both of you guys. Congratulations once again, I can really just feel that love is in the air, and that makes me really happy because you know, uh, somebody even just watching the proposal and watching these shows, of course you know there's a

little hesitation or doubt. But meeting YouTube in person, I can totally see that you guys are in love and very happy. Phones has been ringing off the hook, and you know, even the messages that I've been looking at the comments, people are like, you know what you're actually giving me hope. You know, I've been divorced and I was going to shut down, but now you know, if you can find love in an hour, so can I. It's like, yes, you can sign up next season. Absolutely.

You never know where you find love, you know, you never know unless you take that chance. UM, let me ask you something because this was actually something that was in my mind. Um, Anthony, So obviously when you proposed, so you didn't, now is are you usually you ask permission? Like I had to asked for my fiance's dad's permission, And so was that is was that difficult at all? Like not really talking about like asking family or anything like that. Because one of my buddies had the same issue.

Obviously he was like I couldn't ask anybody because I engaged, I got I proposed on the show. So was that weird at all? Being like, I'm just gonna have to ask for forgiveness and not permission. I think going on the show, we have an understanding that, um, you know, she's going to be open to acceptable a proposal. So I'm thinking that she already checked with the family. It's it's gonna be okay if she does accept the proposal. Yeah, so that's that was my understand No, it's very smart.

Good job. Well once again, guy's congratulations. Where can everybody find you? Well, I'm on social media, the real L ray one number one, the real L ray One perfect at least, I'm not too active on social media. I just a matter of fact, I just signed up for Instagram. Yeah months ago. Okay, what's your Instagram? I don't even know what That's the best thing I've ever heard. That is awesome. That's so refreshing to me in a age of social media for you to be like, I don't

even know my Instagram handle. I can't tell you how refreshing that. I don't think I've ever heard that one. That's great. Alright, guys, Lisa A. Anthony Thank you so much for joining us. Congratulations once again, thank you for having us well. Lisa, Ray and Anthony came in. They were so wonderful to come and talk to us. They're so happy, so in love. But for those single people out there that need to get ready for summer and get your beach body on, I have the perfect thing

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I thought he was in Bali now may I just will find out he could be in Antarctica right now for all I know. Holy moly, So we have a very special guest who's not a guest joining us right now over the phone. You know who she is. We have Vanessa. Okay, I can try not to yell because I'm actually I locked myself in my bathroom right now because I have no furniture in my place, so everywhere I go I hear I feel like there's an echo. You're not pooping, are you. I'm not. Okay, that's all

I care about. No, not pooping. But I'm gonna try to talk softly so that there's no echo in the background. But I'm so happy to be on. I haven't still consumed forever. I know, Vanessa, it's been way too long. What has been happening in your life? Okay, so no, not much. I'm just trying to buy a bunch of furnishers for my new place in Montreal Real busy with that. You're so adulting right now. I'm so adulting right now, and I'm like, I can't wait. Everyone's like, oh my god,

it's so funny re decorating. I'm like, yeah, it's also very expensive, and I gotten to regret it now. But it feels really good to be back. Not complaining. Oh good. We're glad to have you back, and we have I know somebody who's very happy to have you back. One of our listeners named Katie. Yes, Katie, rown email specifically for you, Vanessa, because she wants a female perspective, Mark, do you want to read this? You want me to? I'd be happy to perfect. Do you have a great voice?

Do you know this? But are you familiar with this email? Vanessa? You sound like you are. I am, and I was actually very excited. My Katie, thank you for reaching out to me because you did the email for the guys. Got to give some perspective on this is what she's looking for, Well, she says, a guy from her passes come into her life. She says, we haven't talked to each other in five years. We reached out. He reached

out last April, wanting to rekindle our friendship. We stopped talking because he and his friends really hurt me in my senior year of high school, to the point where I was depressed and suicidal. Fast forward to now, we started talking again. We've become more than friends, but definitely not to the real relationship level. He has initiated all of this, but it mostly happens when we are intoxicated.

He've told me I make him nervous when I'm around and doesn't like to hang out with me alone because he feels tempted to make a move after night's out. I have slept over at his place with him in his bed. We fooled around, but nothing more. When we're together, we act like we're in a relationship. But I'm positive that I would never want a relationship with him, and

I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I love this kid, but I know that because of what happened in high school and his history with cheating on his girlfriends, that could never be in a relationship with him. Help. I have no idea what his take is on a relationship because he doesn't talk about stuff. Where do you think his head is with all this? Okay? Well, first, Mark, I like, I love your radio voice. I love UM. I asked to roll down a couple of notes for

her because Um. The one thing that I do want to point out it is we often try to women and men often try to find answers in the person that we're dating. But it sounds like, Katie, do is know exactly what you wanted to do? Twice in this email that you would never want to be in a relationship with them, So I think we need to figure out where your head and hearted at in order to make a decision whether you want to move forward with him or whether you just want to end things altogether. Now,

there are a few red flags. One the fact that, um, I don't know what the history is in high school, people do change. It has been five years, UM, but the points of to the point where you were depressing suicidal,

that's a huge red flags. So I'm not sure what what the history is with that, UM, but obviously there's still some form of UM hurt may be involved, or maybe you're holding on so grudge with him and his friends, So there's that that would probably um the if you're starting a relationship with him, then that's probably something that I would suggest that you would have to discuss and talk to him about before moving forward into something romantic.

Another red flag is the fact that he has to be intoxicated um in order to make a move with you, and that just still for me as a level of immaturity UM. And also the fact that he has his troops cheating on his girlfriends. Again, that may have been in high school. People do change after a couple of years. It has been five years um since UM, since you guys last folks. So I just feel like you need to figure out what it is that you want and

what it is that you need. And I I feel like I keep saying this all the time, every time there's someone that keeps asking for advice. What is it that you want out of the relationships, and that's what your answers. Your answer is going to be if you're looking to find a reaction in the person that you're dating, then you're just trying to poke holes in the relationship, or you know, that's just not a healthy way to start. UM. So I just feel like, you know what your answer is.

Maybe you just made the reassurance and to push to um had that direction. She needs to stop. And then, in my opinion, if I could just I mean, I'm not the female perspective, but it seems like she's very clear on this. She doesn't want to dat if she doesn't want a relationship, he's heard her in the past, and yet she's sleeping with him in a boat. I

think we need some separation here. I completely agree. I when I was hearing you talk Vanessa and thinking more upon this, and then Mark, I'm just pretty much readering exactly you just said. I feel like, you need to cut this person out of your life. I mean, if you're talking about somebody who five years ago put you to the point in your life where you're depressed and thinking about suicide, you might want to cut this person out of your life specifically because you don't see a

relationship with them. Like, I don't understand the point if you guys are just fooling around and yes you love him as a human being, but obviously you know, sometimes people bring the worst out in each other, even if you love one another. And if that happens, I think Mark is right. I think separation is key. Only toxicity lies in your future with this guy. I agree. Okay, I couldn't said it better Vanessa, any final thoughts on that? No,

I agree, and I agree with you said Jared. You know we all have a good and a bad side, but if you have someone that's bringing out the worst out of you, you definitely do not want to be with that person. I completely agree. Um, you know what else I really agree on? I mean, this is a weird transition, but we're just gonna do it anyway. I

believe in healthy hair. That's what I believe, and I don't find out weird at all, because we were talking about your hair when you drove me home, like a couple of weeks ago, Vanessa said, I had a wonderful head of hair and it was the sweetest thing ever, Vanessa, you have beautiful hair. Yeah. What. My mom actually complimented me on my hair yesterday. I brought her to the spaw because it was her birth dastes like, your hair cut so long, and I'm like, yeah, you know why.

It's like why because these like little blue gummy bears lying around my house and She's like, what are these? If you tried it, they are the most amazing thing. So if you can picture any celebrity with amazing hair, you can set that their stylists have cooled them in on the Sugar Bear hair. Sugar Bear Hair is the best seller, one of the best sellers on Amazon with amazing rave reviews, and I've reviewed them and I've raved about them on my own personal Instagram account. The taste

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the steel. So go to cirguar bear hair dot com clast help for beautiful hair and I help hear you that. Ciguarbar hair dot com blasts h l P Sugar Bear Hair dot com slash h E l Pie. I love them. I've tasted sugar Bear hair. I've tried these. They taste amazing. I'm not gonna lie, you really do. Apparently you're not supposed to eat more than um two or three yeah to a day. Really hard to stop. It's ridiculously hard

to stop. Ashley had them, and I was. I had two of them, and all I wanted to do was take a handful of them and keep them in my mouth. But you know you can't have what you always want. So yeah, definitely sugar Bear hair. I I think, who's your favorite celebrity? Vanessa with great hair my favorite celebrity. Let's thinking about this spot. I love but obviously santi for Anderson always had beautiful hair, um, silky, beautiful hair.

And also because I have always felt like my hair was a little bit on the like the finer side, So I love women would take luxury, like luxury hair like Zoe Desinelle. You know who that is from New Girl? Of course I know who that is. Oh my god, I on her. Oh she's the best. My favorite celebrity with gray hair is Leo from the Bachelor. He's amazing. I'm not gonna lie about that. Yeah, it's the best, right, beautiful hair, Sugar Bear Hair definitely a way to go, guys.

All you have to do is go to sugar bear hair dot com slash help for beautiful hair and a healthier you. Um, so we're gonna get Dina phone, We're gonna try. Eric is gonna try. While we're doing that. What are your thoughts on Justin Bieber and Haley Baldwin getting engaged? That's the big news MO week, especially up

in Canada. I would imagine, right, yeah, I'm okay, Can I start because I'm Canadian and very heartbroken, but at the same time happy for him, Like, I don't know how to feel about this, right now, why are you heartbroken? Because you know what you have like a little bit of a crush on like a celebrity or whatever. You kind of always picture them as like single or like as available, and you know, but now that he's indeed, it's kind of like guilty, like wanting to have a

crush on him. Yeah, there's never a shot for you two to be together again. This is like the royal wedding, isn't it. Because he's kind of like a prince in Canada and he's marrying an American. I guess you can consider him a prince, but no, not at the same level. Is only the Megan Markle of Canada. I don't know if that's an unfair assessment. Really. It's interesting though, because they they've known each other for years, haven't they. They've

been friends because he's on and off. Yeah, they dated like back in I think, or I don't even know they dated because I know obviously Bieber and Selena Gomez, that's like a very famous relationship that's being shipped quote unquote around the world. You know, that's ship I was shipping Bieber and Selena Gomez. But apparently and didn't they just did it didn't. They just did a few months. That's the thing is they're both coming off fairly serious relationships,

or so we thought. We thought Haley and Shawn Mendez were a thing. Apparently yeah, may or maybe they were, maybe they won't. We thought Justin and Selena were back together. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't, And now all of a sudden they're engaged, not just dating. Now I can't say, oh,

I'm sorry. I was just gonna say from personal experience, coming from somebody who's been now engaged to somebody they've been friends with for a very long time and have had somewhat of a public relationship history with, I will say, for Justin and Haley, could have been one of those things where they got back together and they just immediately knew that this was going to be a lifelong type thing.

So Justin was probably like, I'm just gonna put a ring on it because I see myself spending the rest of my life with this girl after so many years of friendship, so many up and downs, Like we got back together. We know each other inside and out, we've been best friends for so long. We're not dating because we want to be boyfriend girlfriend were eight because we want to be life partners, and so maybe that's what happened. Maybe he was just like, I want to get married

to you, I want to get engaged to you. I want to show you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Still very young, wouldn't you say? Well, on her, he's he's twenty four. That's the only thing that's so young. That's the only downside for this entire story, I feel like is that she's twenty one. Because even he's twenty five, that's really you know, like Ben our own Ben Higgins was twenty six when he was the Bachelor. You know, I was twenty six

when I was on the bachelorrette. Um, So like, I don't think two young. Twenty one is very young though. I think that often times that we think we build the entire story because we read stuff online. But obviously there's parts of the relationship that we don't know about. You know, maybe they just try to rekindle the relationship. Um more than once than the online I does say that they've been spent for a while, so and it has apparently wasn't something that was a spontaneous like the

type of decision. It was something that Justin was pining on doing. So if people, yeah, if people are happy, people know, they say, when you know, you know, I'm waiting for that. But Jared, when you know you know, right, I can tell you from from the experience, when you know, you take three years and then you'd really know. Well, it's kind of a trend right now because you have Alreadana Grande who's with Mac Miller and then suddenly she was Pete David Boom engaged. He was with Larry David's

daughter Boom engaged all of a sudden. And I mean, I I know a woman who was on Bachelor Winter Games in Dayton some yeahoo, and now she's married engaged to a different guy, this guy right there. So that's an interesting thing, isn't it That you're with other people and then you get into a new relationship fine, and then suddenly engaged. Yeah. It's fast moving, fast moving. Yeah, But when you know, you know, when you know, you know.

But I think the only couple that's a little bit different than what we just talked about would be Pete and Ariana because they didn't know each other, did they did they know each other before dating a little bit? She was on so now. But but yeah, not a lot. Okay, not like justin Haley doing each other from now. They're like publicly like really close friends. So I don't know. We'll see, you know, our prayers go out, Selena. We'll see what happens with her. Hopefully she finds the man

that she's going to spend the rest of her life with. Erica, how are you doing on Deane? Back there? Dean is missing in the wild. Dean is always missing in the wild. This poor man tattoo? I saw that he got on Instagram tattoo. Did I see that hang loose tattoo? Yeah, of course he did. He's getting butterfly anklets. I'm like, what, he's never coming back. He's never coming back to the States. I was told he was. They were interviewing locals about dating customs, which I think is a way for him

to write off the trip. To be honest with you, going anyway, but if he does some dating research, it's now with a work trip, business trip, traveling all around the world to find out how they date business, Um, well, come back sucking less at dating. We can, we can, we can certainly hope that. Well, do you want to do some emails while we're waiting for Deanie. Hopefully we can do that. Miranda wants to know this is a real girl life. She says, how do guys feel about

shaved legs? I grow very little hair on my legs. You can get away without shaving. What would a guy think? And do they even notice? Then she has some follow up questions, but let's hit that one first, Jared, how do guys feel about shaved legs? Yeah, listen, all right, I'm not trying to be superficial here, but the last thing you want as a woman is a guy's hand going up your leg and then his like it's like

speed bumps, because it's very prickly. You know, you just don't want that, and so as a female it's probably best to, you know, make sure the legs are nice and smooth. But is that a deal breaker? A deal breaker? No, it's not a deal breaker. No. If I was really into her, I would think it was very cute. I think so too, of course, but but it all I'm with Jared on this one because you don't want to be so superficial. It's very superficial what we're saying right here. Yes,

but it's not great No, it's not the best. You know, it would be like if, for example, if yeah, you're right, I can't even say anything. I'm gonna get so much. Do you get terribly? How dare you guys are such superficial jerks all you care about the physical part of the relationship. Uh? Listen. You know girls and guys both want shaved legs. You know, have you ever shaved your legs? No? But a buddy of mine who's playing football at one time, did he lost the bet? He had to get a

waxed Yeah. And then guys intracted it because apparently it was like aero dynamic. I I did try. I don't think it is. It doesn't help. I shaved an E into my leg one time as a joke. Come out very well, So I just evened it out. Could you tell it was an e at least? No? No, it just was like a big blob. I used that Narror product and if you remember that, it was like it's a lotion. Yeah it's it's it's not good for you, like melts the hair away. That's awesome, that's very healthy.

But I did. I did even it out, and growing the hair going back is really painful and I had an all new insight into the plight of the female, and I felt so much respect. I could never I give so much respect to females for the things that they have to go through that we don't have to,

and specifically with shaving legs. Like obviously I'm in a relationship now, so we kind of like talk about things like this, And actually one time was making fun of me because she's like, it's so ridiculous that you get to go in the shower and just enjoy the shower, So it's talking about her. Sometimes I like standing there and just feels so good having hot water run down you. And I stand there for like ten minutes, and she's like, she's like, I hate you because you get to stand

there and just enjoy the shower. Do you understand what I have to do when I go in the shower.

It's a whole process between like how many you know, lotions she has to use different like um um moisturizers, but also one of the scrubbing, what am I thinking of exfoliating and then like shaving legs and armpits, And she's like, it's so ridiculous that you get to go in there and you're just like, oh my boy, I get to shower and have so much fun and just stand here and enjoy like the steam filling up the bathroom, and she's working her ass off to make sure that

she oh, and she's going to run out of hot water. The clock is kicking the whole time. He's gotta keep it moving. I have a little confession. I dated this guy once and we were very very very very close, and he's like, well when so let's be how long you go without saving your legs. I went for three months without saving my lige guys who Okay, now you got to save them. But it was just like a little bet we had going on. I was like, all right, I did this want take my legs every day? Did

your legs get really hairy? Third? I mean, I'm not super my hair is not very dark, but I mean, yeah, it was a visible hair. It was in the middle of winter anyway, so I wasn't wearing starts or anything. But I would envision you with dark hair. That's why when you said you weren'tchaving legs as you have dark headed hair. So I was like, well, I'm sure her legs get dark hair too. My legs are not that dark, and I don't have I'm not super hairy my little bit,

but not my legs. How was your like body core, body temperature? Because when I was without no for real, when I was without hair on my legs, I was cold a lot and don't have had anything to do with it. I felt like, and that's what I say her time. I just use it as installations like not having to st And to back up a minute, easton, why did you try to shave an e into your leg? Anyway?

It was cool that funny. I have very coarse and prominent black leg hair, so it would have been and you have a tattoo and you're like nothing legs should have shown you. Um. But anyway, anyway, moving on from that, we can finish the well, yes, we have more from around, I think. To sum up, I would say shaving like unshaven legs better than unshaven armpits, But she said, have to extend this further. What are hygiene deal breakers like brushing teeth? Well, we'd like you to do that, and

we will as well. I think that's fair. Of course everyone does that because she says, what what natural methods like pulling or baking soda. Uh No, just use toothpaste. I mean, do you know, I mean, I don't think those are deal break because if somebody wants to do some experimental natural stuff, you can brush your teeth with baking soda. I never even knew that I used baking soda with my soap. Smells like, what about you soap? She points out that Dean doesn't use soap. So I

found out because we were in Tahoe one time with Dean. Dean. You know, he's a very touchy feely guy. Love it because he massages everybody. He's massaging my shoulders. Then all of a sudden, for some reason, we got on the topic of hygiene. He's like, yeah, I never use soap, And I said what, And he's like, yeah, I don't use soap on my body. And I said, well, do you wash your hands after you use the bathroom? And he's like, no, I'm just naturally clean as his thumbs

are just you know, just pressing into my back. Actually, to be fair, he might have said he washed his hands sometimes. I can't remember, but I know he doesn't use soap on his body. He doesn't. He doesn't wash his hands either. No, Okay, I didn't think you're right about I think this podcast. He doesn't wear nd he goes commando all the time. Deans a handful, That's what I'm telling He has never come back. He's going to come back with like a d shaved into his leg.

Now it's gonna be a whole It's gonna be a whole thing. Um But apparently with Dean it took him like two weeks too for his body to adjust because he used soap as a kid, and then he stopped using it and it put and he smelled for about two weeks. But apparently after that his natural body order started to adjust without using soap, and now he smells. No, no, it's not a smelling guy at all. Your question from Randa, do guys care if we slack on taking care of

our fingernails? Good? I never do my nails, so I honestly don't give a I don't think so, I say no, I've never cared whether or not a girl has incredibly manicured finger nails. Doesn't bother me in the slight It doesn't bother me, and actually I don't. I'm not a huge fan of um Press like the plastic nails. I don't like the way they feel anyway. So does that make sense, Vanessa? Am I saying that? Okay? Yeah, so no, I think I think you're fine. Miranda, You're gonna be

just fine. Eric, could you want to read the email? Sure? Alright? So, ladies and gentlemen, Mark is ditching us. Unbelievable. Um, And then we have the wonderful and beautiful to magnificent Another female Yah, another female Erica joining us to read emails. Yea major. I've never read the emails before. It's a big deal. This is a big moment, all right. Well

this is from Shana. She says, my boyfriend of over a year has been spending a lot of time with some new friends, which happened to be two single girls, just for about a month or so now. I've never thought too much about it until he spent the weekend at one of their houses while I was away for a girl's trip with my friends. Though I'm sure nothing bad happened, I communicated how uncomfortable and neglected I've been feeling, as I do not know these girls and I've yet

to be introduced to them. When I expressed interest in meeting them, he said, if you want to. He then explained how he would like to keep his friends in relationships separate and likes having his own friends and his own time. I'm not asking you to be a part of the group, and I'm not accusing him of anything bad. So why do you think he's hesitant to introduce me to his friends? Why do you think his hesitation of

bringing two worlds together as even a thing? I do trust him, But am I crazy for feeling neglected and unimportant or do adjust second dating a girl? No, you

have every right to feel that way. I would feel so stitched out of my boyfriend or even the guy that I'm like seriously dating, even if we're not like a title yet, if you don't have a title yet, if he doesn't introduce me to his friends or include me into that part of his world, I mean, I'm I'm I'm totally for dating someone and having two separate lives, but at one point you kind of have to know what's going on in each other's lives and still be part a part of each other's social and social and

support system, you know, like meeting their friends and family and all that. Yeah. No, I'm just like when I was reading this, I was like, why he's spend the weekend one of the single girls houses. Yeah this, Yeah, this is a giant red flag. It's so bad, Like I don't know, Shannon, you sound wonderful. Thank you for listening to the podcast. You need to tell your boyfriend then you need to meet these two girls immediately or

he's not friends with them. This is there shouldn't be like I have to do this, you should do that, or there shouldn't be any ultimatums in relationships. That's no that I don't like. I agree with what you're saying, but it shouldn't be like I have to meet your friends if he doesn't want. This is different. This is different though, because I agree with what you're saying with friends prior to a relationship starting. These are two girls that he became friends with recently after he's been dating

this other girl for over a year. Like, this is the this is the weird thing, right, because when you become in a relationship, you have to understand that, like there's gonna be jealousy involved and you have to be

respectful and the like. Could you imagine me like going and being like, Hey, Ashley, I'm just gonna go hang out with these two girls that you never met before that I just became friends with and I'm gonna spend a weekend with them, but you're never going to meet him, And I really don't want you to meet them now. But I know, I totally agree what you're saying. But what I'm saying is there shouldn't be You shouldn't have to train someone that you've been dating for a year

on the dudes and don't of a relationship. I agree, But for me, is that would be enough for me to be like, you know what if I'm not that important you for you to consider me to even just consider saying, hey, I've become friends with these people I wanted to be part of my social circle, then no,

I don't have the patience to do with that. I completely agree, which is why I think it's a genre reflaging something like if he can't get past, then you should really start reconsidering this relationship or where you guys are at, because this is sketch. It's bad male female relations friendships at all. When you're in a relationship are

It's very tricky? Yeah, very trick Like I struggle with it in my own relationship where I'm so insecure about it, and like, say, who are these girls that you're hanging

out with? Even when I meet them, I'm I don't like it because it's always just even like, for example, Dean even said last week or two weeks ago, good go out time flies by on the podcast because we're talking about, you know, being friends with somebody of the opposite sex, and he was like, sometimes I'll stay friends with somebody like, but it won't be with the best like I'll ask I won't be with the best intentions

pretty much, you know. Like he's like, yeah, I'll ask about their significant other, but it's like, I'm just keeping in contact with them because you know, I want to stay in contact in case something changes. And it's like that's you know, so you just really never know. Um, I'm not saying Dean has done that. We're talking about it just loosely. I don't want to. You know, Dean's a wonderful human being who I love very mention and

I don't think you never do that. But um, for here, like the fact that he doesn't want you to meet the girls, Why why don't you because you want separate lives? Well, I got news for you. If we're dating for over a year and if we get engaged and married, at some point, our lives are gonna start intersecting, and two

is going to become one, you know. And the big difference for me is having friends with like if I'm friends with a girl, like having friends of opposite sex before the relationship starts and afterwards is a very big difference. In my mind. Maybe I'm crazy, but if I have a friend that's a girl, then I start dating someone else, I don't want to give up that girl that's a

friend who's always just been a platonic friend. But if I'm in a relationship and I start making friends with the girl after I start dating someone for some reason, in my mind, that sounds way worse. It also depends on the type of relationship. Like we're friends, but well, we won't text each other, we won't call each other, we won't like invate each other's personal you know what

I mean. Like it's like we respect each other's face, then like each other's Like I respect the relationship with asking And I think it depends on the level of friendship. I'm not someone that is went out with a lot younger. I'm like I don't want my boyfriend to be friends with any girl. And now that I'm older, I'm like, yeah, I'm more mature. I understand that people come with like different friends but different relationships with different people. Um, but

there has to be that level of respective. It's not there. And if I don't feel comfortable, I always say goal with your gut. If there's if something is up, it because something is up. Yeah, excuse me, Shannon, you do not suck at dating. You obviously email those because you feel like something's up. I would absolutely talk to him

as soon as possible. And because there does seem to be a lack of transparency as well, because you even saying the open in paragraph when he spends a weekend with them while you were away at a girl's trip, you say, though, I know that's weird, right, And then you say though I'm sure nothing bad happened, You're sure nothing bad happened, or you you just it makes it sound like you don't know, Okay. I also want to

point this out. I dated someone who was a really good friends with the girl, and for some reason I just didn't trust their relationships because I felt like she would be the type of person if she would hit the fan between me and the guy that I was dating, and he would go to go to her for advice.

I don't think she would have my best interest and would would tell him, would give him the wrong advice in order to stablish our relationships, you would probably try to break us apart, do you know what I mean? That's how I felt about their relationship. So so, maybe nothing physical happened between them, but I just don't know if I were to trust the like the advice that maybe they were giving him, or if the if the if that conversation would come up, you know, of course

relationship would come up. And Vanessa, I completely agree with you on that note, where Shana, you might think that your boyfriend has the best intentions with these girls, but how do you know they have the best intentions with him, you know, And and it only takes one mistake and so and the big red flag for me is the fact that he just doesn't want you to meet them,

and like he's spending weekends with them. And this is a very new friendship when you've been dating for over a year now, um, And so I would get a

lot more clarity on the situation. I would definitely talk to him and press him on this particular issue and make sure that you know you have a pretty good understanding of who these friends are, meet them so they know who you are, because like, of course you want, you know, you want, you trust your partner, you want to have them have friends of the opposite sex and not even think twice about it. But you know, it's

a scary world. Yeah. The only scenario I see is turning out good is if it's like a romantic comedy and the two girls are like ring designers and he's picking out that's why he doesn't want her to meet them. But I don't think that's what's going on. If we loved in an ideal world, I know that's the I mean maybe, I mean, maybe he's spending weekends with the

ring designers. Well, yeah, you don't want my except that when I was dating this guy, he kept calling my my best friend and I was like, dude, this is so weird, like why do you keep calling her? But it was so this like really really sweet gift that he was planning for me her advice, And I thought, like I never and I never thought twice about it. But I'm like, I wonder like, I'm like, oh, that's sweet.

Maybe he's just trying to get to know her as my friends because like she's really best she's best friends with me, and he wants to become really close to her. But I'm like, oh my god, that was be dis best for ever. But that's rarely the case. Yeah, yeah, now we have Julia. Julia says, I've noticed an ongoing theme which I am behind for the most part, and this is that you should wait and make sure you're

with the person that deserves you. When your partner isn't your ideal perfect person, weighs like they're jealous, they're immature, etcetera. I don't know if I can get behind the idea that it's time to give up because they don't deserve us. I've been in a seven year relationship and can tell you firsthand that not everything is perfect, sunshine, and both

me and my boyfriend have made plenty of mistakes. I was on a flight yesterday sitting next to a man who's been married for twenty years now, and his advice was to make a relationship last is that you have to work together to push past the hard times. I agree with him. Maybe I'm naive, but I've yet to find someone who says they are in a perfect relationship. I think it's the relationships that push pushed past the tough times that come out truly stronger thoughts. I mean, Jared,

you're you're engaged, so take it away. Yeah, pretty much. No, I completely agree. I think a lot of people UM will say, oh, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, And I think that takes away any effort that needs to be put into relationship, which there does even even prior to relationship, Like you have to actually actively try to pursue someone and stay in contact with them and ask them out, and there's a lot of effort.

You can't be like, wow, if it just works out, then it will work out and it's meant to be, if it's meant to be, and it's like yeah, but you're also losing sight on the idea that you have to put effort in. And so I completely agree with this um because there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everybody has their good times, they're bad times. I mean, Ashley and I have a very loving and

wonderful relationship, and I'm happier than i've ever been. But am I going to sit here and say every second of every minute has been perfect? Absolutely not. Look at two years ago, you guys were in an incredibly different place. So absolutely right. You were right on that one. What happened two years ago? I forgot. I think there's some stuff going on. I don't remember any of that, um, and so it's all in the past. And I completely

agree Van s. Do you have any thoughts on it? Well, I was gonna let Erisa go first because I'm the only one here that's single. So um, I mean, this is actually a refreshing thing to read at a time when I'm in a pretty new relationship. I just it's like advice to me almost that like, hey, sometimes you're going to fight and then you're gonna get over it as long as you both want to, and then it's all good. I hope. Um, like three months basically, yeah,

like three months and like things are very good. But we did have like our first Sorry to him, if he listens, this is like, why are you talking about my stuff? We had our first fight and it sucks because your bubbles burst. But I also think we both like actually want to stay together and want to be in a relationship long term, so that that's a good sign. And like, I think this is saying nothing's gonna be perfect.

You're never not going to fight, but you just have to choose every day to get over those things and move forward. I agree with what everyone is saying. And as the only legle first day here, I will say, as you get older, um, I think you become more said in your ways than what you want and know what you want in a relationship. So when there's like one major red flag that it pops up at the

beginning of the relationship. And I've been talking about this with a lot of my girlfriends who are single and they're early and late thirties, and we all kind of said the same thing, like we'd rather just be in a healthy relationship with ourselves and wait for the right person to come our way instead of diving into a relationship that maybe a little bit unhealthy and make us unhappier than when we are then you know, then when we are happy on our own. So yes, of course,

relationships they're like rollercoasters. You have your ups and you have your downs, and when they're down, it's like, man, I've been in those relationships that's when it's like, you know, should you walk away from it? So do you work towards things? I'm the type of person when I'm in a relationship, I want to try everything in my body be that I could, like possibly do to make this relationship work. And if it still can't work, then at least I can look back and say that I tried

and I'm sorry. No, No, I'm just saying, like I think you know, I'm not saying walk away from something. But if it doesn't, if it is an unhealthy relationship, um, and it is. There are toxic people out there then that can make you feel worse than you know than you actually do feel on on on day, on like days that you're feeling bad on your own, then you shouldn't be in those relationships. So I'm not here to say stay in a relationship. I'm not I'm not here

to say don't be in a relationship. I'm here to say, do what is best for for your sanity at the end of the day. So what the hell are you even doing here, Vanessa? Then No, I completely agree with no. Stop that you probably have a hundred men just pining to spend five minutes with you. Um, but Erica with you in fighting, I you know, you have your first fight. I think that's not a bad thing either, because they're going to be fights in a relationship and you have

to learn how the other and fights totally. You know, that's a very big part of a relationship, and so I don't think that's a bad thing. And I also think, like with obstacles within a relationship, if you want to make it work, I think you have to look at obstacles as an exterior force that's trying to you know, that something that you and your partner have to overcome together. I don't think you should ever look at an obstacle within a relationship as something that comes in between you two.

It's something as Okay, we have this thing, we need to work together to try to overcome it. And then I think if you guys do that, your relationship will probably become stronger. I think you just changed my life with that, With that one thing between you, you just move over it together, changing lives email at a time. We have one more email for today. This is from Kara said. My name's Kara and I'm twenty four. I just moved to a new city a few months ago

where I knew practically no one. Long story short, my boss played on a code softball team. They needed another girl, so they asked me to play Super fun love it. But there's a guy, my boss's friend. Yikes, that is super cute and I think he might be interested in me. This Sunday we had a game. They offered to buy me a beer. I've been day drinking and don't really like beer, so I declined like a dummy. My question is how do I let him know I'm interested without

being weird? Did I ruin my chances? Is it weird that he's my boss's friend. I need help? Any advice would be appreciated. Love all y'all. I love the all y'all, but I listen every week the podcast on Facebook group have changed my life. Thank you for being a part of the Facebook group. Yes, you're the best. Care Um Wow that is I mean, I don't personally think it's weird to you know, if you want to date your boss's friends, be cautious about it. I just I wouldn't know. Dark.

What would you do if you if you were interested in the girl, um, and you wanted to know if the girl was interested in you? How would you want her to reproach you. I'm very direct. So I'm like, I'm very direct, probably right into MS and or like if I had, he's going to contact, she's gonna see him again. They plan a softball league, like she's to see him next Sunday. I played, and I can speak from personal experience because I've played co ed softball for

many of years. It was fantastic, so much fun, and there's there's not like there's a lot of relationships that have formed from the softball team, which is great. Um actually hates when to talk about softball and it's like it's it's so funny. She's like, you're talking about softball again. I'm like, yes, it was my glory years. It was the most fun I've ever had. We got to day drink, we got to play softball. It was beautiful. It was great. Um. And so I think with this, I don't think you

ruined your chances at all by declining the beer. I think you should have said yes. Of course. You know when he said, hey, you want to go grab a drink and be like, I'm not just just to say yes, and then you go and you get a water or soda and just be like, oh, I'm you know, kind of full. I've already had a couple of beers. I think he'd actually respect that. Um, but as long so next time, UM, he's probably gonna ask you out again because you don't really ask. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

He does. I would not if I was her, I would not wait for it. Let me put it that way, because he did ask once. So I think I think there's nothing wrong with Carol. You put some, you know, you show some ask him about a drink, you know. I think he'd love that. Yeah, just I think, like Vanessa said, be direct, go up and just say after the game, be like, hey, you want to go grab a drink? Sorry? You know, I'll take a rain check. You know, I'll take a rain check for last week.

Let's go grab a drink. You know. Okay, But as for dating her boss's friend, that that gets a little sticky because that could end badly. Yeah, but I wouldn't think that far ahead. If this guy is your you know, husband, loving of your life, it's that part will all work itself out, you know, jobs will work itself out. Also, I guess in a way, they're all peers. Like they all play on this team together. So at that point whatever, Yeah, yeah, it was the boss would be worse. Yea his friend.

It's fine and she so the boss plays on the team, right, Yeah, so the boss plays on the team as well. So I agree with you, Erica where it kind of brings him down to her level a little bit, where there were more friends, you know, so who says you can't date the boss's friend? So it seems yeah, it's you know, it's softball. You go ask for a drink. Could be a great Sunday you and softball. You're so hyped up. I'm dying to play sports. I haven't played sports and

so long. I played when we were back in Virginia, Ashley and I played tennis, so I was like, I gotta do something. And she's never played tennis. But you know, it's nice. She got it over the net a few times. She was getting better cut. Yeah, it was great. So I'm gonna get hurt of, you know, become the next Serena Williams. All right, before we go, we do have talk about last night's bachelorette and the whole Colon and

Becca Saga. Um, yes, so Colton last night I was on the one on one told Becca he was a virgin. She got up from the table, Um had to contemplate about it, came back, and then everything was fine. But you know, Colin was swinting it out there for a little while. It honestly looked like when he first told her, like Becca was about to start laughing, which is why I thought she got the table. I don't think she was,

but I think she actually. Becka tweeted yesterday during airing that she was like, I'm pretty sure I just got up to use the bathroom and so okay, there you go. That was coming from Becca's Twitter account. Um yeah, or maybe she just needed to like half five minutes to I come back within like with like a neutral reaction or you know, hum, so yikes. Yeah, it didn't look good.

Didn't come across good, Like Becca didn't look good at that moment, Not for me, because like it's hard, right because especially somebody admitting that they're a virgin on live television, like we we all met Becca, super sweet woman, like gorgeous, sweet, funny, she has it all. I don't think I don't think it came across as um I can. I don't think it was something bad, you know, like she said in the tweets, she went to the bathroom and and uh,

that's probably why it was edited that way. But I don't pick to her doing something like mean or malicious or disrespectful. And it does suck to have to talk about your virginity, Like obviously I'm engaged to Ashley, who had talked about for many years um, and so she had to deal with that. So she's had many thoughts about this that you can listen to almost famous podcasts she tells out all about it, um, but also specifically

with me. I remember the first season of Paradise and Ashley and I had a fantasy suite day, and it was the whole thing was are you going to take Ashley's virginity? I mean there was articles right about it saying did Jared take Ashley's virginity? And that really sucks, you know, because it's it's one thing to you know, talk about physical intimacy on the show with fantasy suits because you know, you're two adults and you can have a conversation about it. But it's another to be like,

did this woman lose her virginity on television? And so now it's the same thing with Colin, Like, um, it's curious to see if Colin makes it too fantasy suite, because obviously that's gonna be a huge topic now if he makes it, it's gonna be like, is Colin gonna lose his virginity to Becca? And that's gonna be the entire conversation exactly. And I wonder if that was going through Becca's head when and he like sat there and assured her. He's like, I'm not waiting until marriage. I'm

waiting for the right person. I don't know if losing your virginity at the same time that that woman is possibly sleeping with two other men is necessarily the right time to lose it. But in terms of Becca choosing a life partner, like, wouldn't you want to know? Of course, that's absolutely you can't understand that, Like if the physical part of relationship is is still a very big part of the relationship, you know. And so I'm not saying

there's nothing bad about being a virgin. You should never be vertyen shamed if that's an actual thing, Um, which the guys were virgins shaming Colton last night, Like back in the teom, He's going home. Yeah, that was super I hated one thing I hated. I don't know who said it. I think it might have been Garrett, who is like, he's got skeletons in his closet. He's got skeletons in his closet because he's a virgin, Like, get

out of here, bro I hated when he said that. Um, but God, that pissed me off so much when he said that he's got skeletons in his closet. Really, you think being a virgin means you have a skeleton in your closet? Get out of my face. That's also coming from a man who had like a two month marriage. I would say, sorry, that's more of a skeleton than being a virgin. But again, if I was Becca trying to pick my husband and I'm like, well, I'm not going to get to taste the sample before I buy

the whole package, I don't know what I'm saying. That was a good analogy, Erica was really good. Whatever. I'd probably be a little concerned. Of course, you have to do you have to know, you have to know where each other's and the thing's probably thinking like, okay, if she's not a hundred percent sure about him, and it does get to that point and she doesn't pick him. She doesn't want end up in that situation either, like yeah, right, you can't undersell that either, like that's you're on TV.

Like and also like you know if you bring him to the fantasy suite, like it's going to be talked about, So she brings him to him, she has to be sure that like or you know that she's unsure whether she's gonna pickhim or not, if that makes any sense, Like she can't know that he's not the one and bringing the fantasy suits at this point. Yes, it's whenever the bachelor bachelor releases the person with children because they just know they're not right exactly. I want to send

you back to your kids. I don't want to drag you anymore. Um, yeah, so I agree. We'll see al right, guys. Well, great episode and thanks for everybody tuning in Erica. Thanks for filling in from Mark Easton. You were wonderful, Vanessa, your voice sounds beautiful as always. Miss you. I know, Dean, we miss you too, So we gotta get Dean back in here. Vanessa, you gotta come back to Los Angeles to come in studio so we can record, so we can hang out, grab some dinner in l A, have

a good time. And thank you for everybody for listening to another episode of Help I Suck a Dating. Please email us what's the email Eastern? That's uh, I suck at Dating at I heeart media dot com. I Suck at Dating at I heart media dot com. Please send more of your emails. Joined the Facebook book group help I Suck a Dating on Facebook. We love listening to all your stories. Uh, please keep them coming. Thank you again for helping, and hopefully next week we'll suck a

little less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.