#37 Put a Ring on It

was a long week without you. Welcome back, buddy, Thank you. Good to be back. Not that we have any interesting news to cover on your end, I know your life's pretty much the same as it was before you left, right, yeah, exactly the same. Nothing has changed. Okay, Well for the listeners, Oh wait, there was one little thing. I'm so sorry I completely forgot. I got gay amazing all right. Well, so obviously we're gonna spend a little bit of time talking about that. If you don't lines, I don't mind

at all. We can talk anything and everything. Um. Okay, So for the listeners that's maybe aren't quite as aware. Jared and Ashley made a trip down to Mexico to cameo on Paradise. Yeah, so we went to a Bachelor in Paradise last week and we were doing a cameo and Ashley's I was convincing Ashley that we were just there for a cameo, but we ended up getting engaged. So it's pretty much and that's all I can talk about.

Have a good day, thank you very much, Okay, And we're gonna need a step by step for all of this. And and as I tweeted out, I'm a little upset with you because before you left for Mexico, I was like, Jared, like, this is how I see it playing out of my head. They're gonna bring you down at the date card. They're gonna send you on a day to your own, which sounds like it didn't necessarily happen. But then you're gonna ask Ashley to marry you in Paradise. You're like, dude, no,

that's not gonna happen. I would tell you if it would happen. And I understand you have to keep it under wraps and keep it a secret all that kind of stuff, but tell us kind of how this whole thing unfolded, and obviously you know Spare that he saies that you can. I understand you might not be able

to share everything, but so pretty much. Also, I didn't tell you, Dean because I didn't want a lot of people with the Bachelor family to know, because I wanted to make this as much of a surprise for Actley as possible. So I don't want you to take offense. I love you so much and I would have loved to talk about it, But we talked about engagements two weeks ago on the podcast, and I felt super uncomfortable because you were like, when's a good time to promose, Jared,

when are you going to propose? In the back of my mind, I knew I was proposing that week, and I was like, I don't know, I will see it down the line. And then I don't know if you caught onto it, but you were like, how long should someone date before you get engaged? And I was like months, I don't know. And what's funny is you were you were answering those questions so like ambiguously that I was like, something's up here, like something's about to happen, but I like,

I can press you on it. I guess because I didn't really know well enough. But you called it because after the podcast ended, you were like, you're gonna get engaged on you, and I was like, Dean, so soon, I'm not going to get engaged this quickly. And then because I would be crazy to get engaged that quickly. You have to be out of your mind to get engaged that quick Oh wait, oh oh, I'm doing it. I'm getting I'm getting down on one day. Okay, so continue, continue,

so pretty much listen. As soon as Ashley and I started dating, we knew that this wasn't just a boyfriend girlfriend thing, that this was a very long term and happy relationship because it's just so easy between the two of us. Ashlo says that she's had a boyfriend for two and a half years that just didn't touch her, and that was me. And so the thing is we've been so close we know everything about each other that for me, it's really not that quickly because it just

it feels more right. That's improper English, I'm sorry, but this feels better than not being engaged to that makes any sense, Like it just makes sense to be engaged. Actually it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. To not be with her. So but so it appeals both to the logic side of things and the emotional side of things. Like I was, while I was nervous about getting engaged Ashley, I was just more anxious because I was like, I want to do this, and then that's really what happened.

Do you think there's any chance in any universe where she said no to the engagement? Um? No, just for the fact. I mean, when we were at stage coach, she was even telling me, She's like, if you asked me tomorrow's yes. I mean, she was dropping hints the entire way once. I think she had an inkling when we're going out to Paradise that this could potentially happen, and so she wanted to reassure me that if you do this, I'm gonna say yes, And so she was

just dropping hints. She even said a couple of weeks ago that, um, I'm not allowed to live with her until we're engaged, okay, And I said, well, hypothetically speaking, actually saying six months we're not engaged and we want to move in together. She's like, well, pressures on you. I was like, Okay, she's obviously dropping this hint to be like, if you ask, I'm going to say yes,

so you better ask. I will say I love. I love the whole story, um, mostly as it pertains to Ashley, because she's been in the and I know we have discussed this a little bit behind the scenes. Um, she's been in bachelation for so long, having gone on Chris Soul season and the Paradise one paradise to her season, what Paradise two and three? I guess with you, um, and not necessarily getting the story that you wanted going

on Winter Games, um. And how her life has been so bachelor centric for basically three years now, and how you know she's built such a name for herself within this I guess world, And now for it to come full circle to have you and her get engaged at the place where you first met each other, it's like, it's like the happiest thing I could have possibly imagined. Four. Actually, when she gets a Neil Lane ring, she gets, you know,

the engagement on the beach. She I would assume a televised wedding if you guys decided to go to that route. We haven't even thought about that, being honest, right, I mean, it's very fresh I guess it's a weekend. Um, how did you handle the whole conversation with maybe your parents, with asking her father all that kind of stuff before Once there was an idea thrown out there with conversations

about potentially getting engaged in paradise. One of the first, you know, I called my parents first and said, listen, this is kind of what's happening. I know it's soon. I wanted to get your thoughts on it. And actually one of the so I talked to my parents about it, and obviously they said, it's your decision. We love you, we'll back you up anyway anything you want to do. But my mom was like, you also have to remember that, I mean, you're not going to get another opportunity to

like this ever again in your life. And she's like, you know, in ten years, do you see yourself being with Ashley? And I said of course, And she's like, then why would you not do this? You know? And then actually I talked to Tanner about it. Tanner my little very godfather, um, and because he's had experience getting engaged in paradise, and he said, listen to the proposals for the girl, you know, and you have an opportunity, and I'm sure he's like, listen, you're a very romantic guy.

I'm sure if you don't do it on paradise, if you do it, you know, four or five months later you'll come up with something very nice and very moment romantic, and it's gonna be such a wonderful moment for both you. However, you also have a chance to get engaged at the place where you first met Ashley, like put the show aside.

I mean, this is the beach you first saw Ashley, where you guys met three years ago, and you have the opportunity to give her the ending that she's always wanted, and you're nervous because it might be too soon, even though you plan on spending the rest of your life with this girl. It's like, that's just something you have to factor it. And so after talking to my friends about it for like an hour, I was like, I one of my one of my thinking why am I

even hesitating? This is this is what I not only what I want to do, but what I want to do for Ashley. So and it was pretty romantic and cute. The way that whenever you guys talked about your relationship on or off the air in front of her behind

closed doors. It's like you were always talking about how this is your forever person, how you know, you guys plan on having kids once you guys get to that bridge, all that kind of stuff, and so it's just like it was always a foregone conclusion that the engagement was going to happen. And so I fully understand where you're

coming from. Where it's like, and I think it even goes back to your first Instagram capturing you guys announced the relationship, where it's like the second you want your life to be with someone else, you want your life to begin as soon as possible. Well that's a quote from when Harry Mets Alley. So that movie is very near and dear in my heart. I don't know if you're familiar with it. Are you familiar with The Dean? Okay? So anyway, long story short, Billy, Crystal mcgrhand and the Stars.

They are friends for twelve years um before they finally realize that they are meant to be together. And so the end seen when Billy Crystal realizes, oh my god, the love of my life is rained from my eyes and she's my best friend and I need to do everything I can to make sure that I end up with her. He goes to a New Year's Eve party where she's lonely and sad, and he comes up and he's like, Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking,

and the thing is I love you. And then he goes up and he's like, He's like, when you realize who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And that line was something that I really wanted. I say, I wanted to go to St. Lucian and be like, Actually, when you're realize you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

And so that movie has been, uh, you know, just very influential and important in my life, specifically over the past you know, six months, because it's just really been you be close to my heart. You guys do a great job of incorporating your favorite movies into your relationship. I think both actually and myself. One of the first things we bonded over was the fact that I quoted Jerry McGuire and she's like, you quote Jerry McCully looked at dead in the eyes and he said, show me

the money. The money I did. Uh, I forget what line. I did that one her over but it was just an obscure line and and she was like, Holy Christ, like I'm in trouble and uh. And so we quoted it, and then we started quoting rain Man. And I love

romantic comedies, so does Ashley. And so I've always idolized the guys in the romantic comedy that can like fight for the girl that they want, and like, yes, they have made mistakes and they've done some dumb things, but you know, at the end of the movie, they're kind of like, I need to go for it, you know, jump all in, fight for the woman I love and so um. So that's why, you know, let's talk a lot. I don't want to say, like, yeah, let's talk Neil

Lane for a second. Let's talk Neil And so Ashley's might be strutting around, might not be strutting around with a pretty fat rock on her finger right now? Can we go through the decision process for the ring that you chose? Are you allowed to talk much about the

ring at all? I can't talk too much about it. Um. But what I can say is that as soon as I saw it, it was obviously I was in conversations about what I wanted, what actually wanted, and trying to figure out the best ring for everybody, typically the best ring for Ashley, because that's the most important thing. Um. And as soon as I saw the ring, I knew it was perfect. Um. It was everything I could have possibly imagined. And I knew she was gonna love it. Um.

And uh, it's actually being fitted right now. She's allowed to wear it because the news is out. It was well, I'll go to the story in a second, but um, so she's gonna we're going back on the East Coast. We're visiting my family and right is and then we're gonna go down to Virginia to visit her family. So she's gonna be wearing the ring, which is great. We don't have to hide anything because the news came out

so quickly. I mean, I can talk about this. We got engaged on Sunday and then Monday morning we woke up and was like, oh, that's oh okay, that's me on one knee. That is it's out there. I guess we don't have to hide anything, which is very you know, refreshing and easy, but at the same time very surprising.

I will say that from the time that you guys left, because from my perspective, all that experience was you guys leaving, and then within even just a few days of you guys leaving, I saw the news being published or whatever, and I was like, that was really fast. Like, I mean, we had no idea it was gonna come out that fast. So we flew on a Saturday and and you know, Sunday everything went down and then Monday morning bought a

bing bat a boom. I don't know, like, holy moly, Okay, I guess we I guess we can talk about it. I don't know what. I don't think you wouldn't not be allowed to share this aspect of the post engagement thing. But can you share the FaceTime that you had or the video that was sent to you specifically but you and Ashley as well from one of your favorite I can't talk about that, you know, you are What Dean is alluding to is something that you're going to just

have to watch on Bachelor in Paradise. They're gonna air it though, oh yes, and if they don't air it. Then I will be more than happy to talk at length about it. Well, I think we'll all forgot about about it by then. He's a funny guy, that is a gentleman. Engaged. I never thought i'd see the day. I know. It's so crazy. It's weird when people are like,

congratulations on your engagement. It's like, oh my god, that's right, I'm engaged because I still sometimes even not in a bad way, but it's just so crazy, right, you wait your entire life to be engaged and then it's like, no, it's it's here. That was the craziest part about proposing, was like, Okay, this is holy moldy, this is the most the moment that you've all been that you've waited your entire life for the be all end all. This is the only time you're ever gonna do it, so

you know, no pressure. Um, but but it's cool, like sometimes uh actually be like oh I love my boyfriend and I'm like, well, I'm not your boyfriend fiance. It's just weird even saying But the good thing is we're taking it slow. We're not sure when we're gonna get married. We say within a year, uh no later The next summer. That's because we want we don't want a very long engagement. We want just kind of, like, um, long enough, you know,

we want to be engaged. We want to enjoy being fiance's, but we don't want a two or three year engagement. Perhaps maybe exactly one year when you're back in Mexico in June of two thousand nineteen. We'll see first, folks. I mean, we'll see, we'll see what happens, We'll see what the future has a store. But right now, we're just really happy. We're kind of soaking in the fact that we're fiance's enjoying the momentum. What a wee can happen?

I know, it's it's it's so it's so fresh. It also just feels like it's so crazy to think that I've only actually dated Actuley for you know, four months or so right about now, because it feels like I've been with her for forever, if I'm being honest, but in a good way, because it's still that lustful, puppy love um, playful type relationship. But it also feels like I've you know, been with Ashley for my entire life. I know you have mentioned something about the East Coast

and her wearing her ring out out east. Are you have you guys seeing each other's parents in person post engagement? No, just FaceTime. So we've as soon as it was funny because we thought we were gonna have, like we talked about at least a couple of weeks before we before the news came out. Uh. And so we went back to the hotel and we FaceTime my parents, her parents, um, you know, a couple of our close family and friends, but dany um. But it was just honestly, four or

five facetimes. We're like, all right, we just gotta FaceTime these people talk about it and then we can go to bed because we were just exhausted after the day and then thinking we had a couple of weeks before you know, everybody knew, so we had plenty of time to call everybody, face time everybody. And then Monday morning happened, We're like, oh boy, and it was funny because actually

tweeted out She's like, I haven't even told my grandmother yet. Uh. So we had, you know, we had a lot of people texting us and being like, what the hell, why didn't you tell me? Like, oh, we well, it was a surprise for Ashley. I didn't want it to get out, and now we didn't think it was gonna be out so soon. So next steps for you? Guys? You mentioned you wouldn't live together until you were engaged. Yes, Um, is that on the horizon. Have guys talked about that

at all? We've talked about that. So Ashley just got a brand new place um with her sister Lauren, and so I think we're probably gonna wait till u fall. Probably sometime in the fall, I'll move in. Okay, so a couple more months. Um, But her face, because her apartment is still so fresh, it's she's not even done moving in herself. So I don't want it to I don't want to bombard her at all. So we'll wait.

We'll wait a couple more months, and I'll probably move in there and I'll be the next step in our relationship. I'm gonna I'm gonna vent to say that Ashley began shopping for her wedding dress the second she got back from Mexico after meeting you the first time. But do you think that she has begun her wedding dress shopping. I know for a fact that she's had people reach out and she's definitely had conversations. Okay, I don't think she's looked at any particular dresses. The thing is, Ashley

has watched Say Yes to the Dress for years. I watched Say Yes to the Dress now because I'm dating her, I'm engaged to her and so um, so she's definitely had people reach out and talked to her, and she has an idea of what kind of dress you wants.

So it's very exciting and still very new. Um. But the cool thing is it's it's while it's very exciting and they're all these outside factors about planning a wedding and what's going to happen, dress and where and blatta bladah blah, it's just built on such a strong foundation between Ashley and myself, um that it's very very exciting. Mark my words. I'm gonna put a hundred dollars down on this that Jared at his wedding, while standing on the alter altar will be wearing a Superman T shirt

under as tuxedo. Uh, I'm gonna rip that thing open when she's walking down the aisle. It's gonna fantastic. And then her dad is quickly, just gonna turn her around and walk her down the other way, and I'm gonna say, bite Ashley, no, um unless she cry. There were there were tears. So she cried. She cried a lot. She was she cried a lot. Um. It was just a very emotional moment that all of you guys will be able to witness, which is weird just say, um. But it was just a really it was a special moment

that I wanted. Yeah, I can't really talk too much about it, but um, there were a lot of tears. It's just crazy to think that I was able to propose to the love of my life on the beach where we first met. Like, that's the crazy part to me is when we were when we were on the beach, I just kept thinking, Wow, three years ago, three years ago, we met at this exact bar. I'm seeing you walking down the stairs with your sister Lauren, because I don't know if you remember, that was the season that her

and her sister came in together. And to think three years later, I'd be getting down on one knee on this beach with Ashley. Uh, It's pretty cool. Pretty cool, all right, Jed, One more question for you, right after you guys announced your relationship, you're you, and actually I asked you a question that you dodged a little bit. I'm gonna ask you again and hopefully you can give us a little bit more of a clear answer. How is the sex damned? Um? I don't want to dodge

it because I don't want to sound like God. This is hard to answer. No, I mean it's I'm not going to answer specifically, but you can. It's God, how do I answer this? I know, Easton, you're just just waiting, all right, because I don't want to dodge it, because I don't want people be like, oh, we did say anything, it's probably bad because it's not. It's it's the physical all right, all right, let me let me I'll answer it this way. I'll answer it this way. Here we go.

When we first crossed over from friendship to boyfriend girlfriend, the only thing that changed was the physical part of our relationship. Everything else has stayed the same. We're best friends, we love hanging out with each other. It was the only difference, and our relationship has only gotten incredibly better since that moment. Because so I think that answers the question. It does, But because now you can be best friends while also being naked in the same bedest as each other.

I'm just saying that ad that that amplifies a friendship when you're not just a friendship Dean, But that's what I'm saying. It's like, you're able to take it to the next level, but like, you know, you can now be romantic and intimate with each other. And I will say it was never awkward. That was the thing that was, um,

I don't want to say surprising, but so relieving. Was you know, there's always that little nerves were like, Okay, now you know we've been best friends for two and a half years now, and now we're gonna start making out and holding hands all the time. And it was just uh, like I said early and ship has only gotten better, And that part was is really good. It's really good, Like it's great. I love kissing her. I

smother her. It's so funny because her dad will see us on FaceTime and she'll like, be smothering me a little bit, and he's like, actually stop smothering him, like you can't do that, and she's like, no, you don't understand. He smothers me, which I do. I love, I love too. I love smothering her. I feel like you guys both have the personality where a lot of people will think, like, maybe from an outside perspective, like, oh, they're all over each other all the time, like it's gonna fizzle out.

But I feel like both of you are this type of person that neither of you're ever really to get sick of each other. From what I've been able to gather from early, you have it now is so I'll tell you a little stories. So we obviously we went to Mexico on Saturday. We spent pretty much every minute

with each other that entire time. Left Wednesday, um, I stayed at place Wednesday night, and then Thursday, I think was when we parted ways for the first time, and she dropped me off because my car was still downtown and on the way there, I started getting a little separation excited. I was like, man, I don't want to leave Ashley, but we spent a week straight together. It's

healthy if we spend a little time a part. So I wasn't gonna say anything because I was gonna I felt like a lunatic being like I don't want to leave you. It's been a week straight. But I don't want to leave you. And then she out of nowhere, it was like, I feel like I'm getting separation excited. I don't want you to leave. And I was like, oh, thank god, I feel the same way. And so we it's it's so pathetic, but it's kind of funny. Yeah, we we we cried. You cried because because it was

just weird the first time we were engaged. We love seeing each other. And I think she said the cutest thing I've ever heard of my entire life. She was she was crying, and we were both laughing at ourselves because we were crying. And then she's like, I just look at it, like every day that I'm not with you is one less day that I get to spend with you. And I was like, Ashley, my heart just melted. Um. And so it's it's we don't get sick of each other,

we having gout stick each other. At some point, I get a little nervous because I know that it's it's gonna come eventually, Right, There's gonna come a time where it's like, Okay, I need I need to date with Naturally, that's just marriage, that's relationships. That's what happen and so I just don't know when that day is gonna come. But it's pretty cool. We never get tired of each other.

The cool thing is, yes, where fiance's we're in love, everything is great, but we're also just best friends and we love hanging out with each other. And that's the best part of the relationship. That's important. It's so important. I think any successful long term relationship, marriage, whatever it is, they'll they'll tell you that the basis and the foundation for all that is a solid friendship and being able

to be around each other. I completely agree. I mean, everybody always says you want to marry the best friend, and now I'm experiencing that firsthand, and I can't tell I. I can't tell you enough how wonderful it is. Um So, Dean, I know what's gonna happen for you. I hate talking about this all the time because I just I do feel like a jerk sometimes because people remnant of my face. It feels like I'm rubbing in face. But I also don't want to downplay it because I want people to

know how happy I really am. Um. So I'm trying to balance that line where I'm not trying to show anything off. At the same time, I don't want people to say, oh, he doesn't sound that excited, because I've never been happier. It was funny now as one of our friends, you know, nas and she was like, She's like, Jared, you're getting better looking, you're glowing, You're pregnant, You're pregnant with love right now. I was like, I am. I'm just I've never been happier and and I couldn't be

more grateful for it. And and Dean, I know it's coming for you. Dean is such a good catch. I just want, I need, I need you. I need I need Dean to be the bachelor. I need Dean to be the bachelor. That's what needs to happen. You said, you said it's important to marry your best friend. I'm just trying to think, like, would Mike be down to get married to me at some point? With Jackson be married,

down to get married. I'm just trying to think of any of my friends would be willing and open to that type of relationship, you know, I mean, I guess the important question is are you open to Because I'm just it's important to marry your best friend, and I'm just starting to think like, would my best friends even be interested in marrying me? That's interesting. You might have to find that out anyways. All right, well, shift gears a little bit. I feel bad for grilling you. Actually,

it's not ask me anything you want. I'm sure we'll circle back as kind of this this whole thing unfolds and as you know, we check in with you regularly. But all that kind of stuff. But before we get into last night's episode of the Bachelor, at there was some bad news to mix in with your good news. Breaking news. Actually, it feels like breaking news. Derek Paith

and Taylor Nolan's engagement was broken off. It seems like yesterday. Yeah, apparently they put out a statement which reads, it is with much sadness that we've decided to end our engagement. We put everything we could into our relationship and are heartbroken to go forward separately, but we know this is the best decision for the both of us. This is what executives have said. We will still be present in

each other's lives with support, admiration and respect for each other. Um. Obviously it's a very platonic way to just say that, you know, we've gone on separate ways. And broke up and ended the engagement, which I actually I don't know

if I sound like a jerk saying this. I forgot they were engaged for a second because when they said when, when it was announced, when we heard about they broke up, I was like, Okay, that's sad, and then it hit me, Oh, that's right, they were engaged because I forgot that he proposed on not after the final rose. But uh, I mean, whatever you're after the after show was paradise after show, Paradise after show. So I mean, is then has anybody stunned as I? I didn't know Derek and Taylor. I

only met Derek a couple times. I've never had the privilege to meet Taylor, so I don't really know the into work into their relationship, how good it was, what it was like. So I think I think this breakup maybe Beckon's a whole other segment. Maybe next week is they got engaged and they've lived long distance for an entire year of their engagement. Taylor lives in Seattle, Derek's lived in New York for a year. Like, what did they expect was going to happen? Yeah? Did they have

any I mean, you were on Paradise with them. Did they have any plans to move in with each other or was this just kind of gonna go with the flow type than Granted I'm not best friends as either of them, it's not like I talked to them often to ask them kind of what their plan is. But I know that Taylor visited him in New York a few times, and maybe he visited her in Seattle. But you can't so you have to have some sort of plan.

And I think that maybe there was some talks about her moving to New York and it just never really materialized. But it's like, how do you expect an engagement to be successful and lead to marriage if you don't ever live with each other in the same city, maybe not even in the same house, but if you as live thirty five miles apart each other, you're setting yourself up for failure. And it's been a year, So that's the if it If it ended after a couple of months

and then they said, listen, we got engaged. Maybe we rushed into things. We weren't gonna move. I was gonna move to New York. I wasn't gonna move to Seattle. Just wasn't gonna work out. But now it's been a year, So I wonder did they have plans to move with each other, Because if you get engaged, I would imagine, Okay, now we're engaged, we're gonna, you know, either you're moving to New York or I'm moving to Seattle within the next few months or so at least have a plan.

But it's been a year. So did they think that they were going to do a long distance engagement for a year and then hopefully things would get better. I do know that Taylor, or I'm sorry, Derek, before moving to New York lived in Iowa, so he got he

was living in Iowa, Taylor was living in Seattle. They got engaged, and then Derek moved to New York, which frustrates me because I've been in the situation too before, where if you're in a relationship with someone and you guys live in different cities and then that person is moving after you get in a relationship, they decided to move, and they decided to move to a different city that's not the same city that you're in, and you guys

don't have an agreement to move in together. It's like, listen, buddy, you're moving regardless, Like if you're gonna move to New York or gonna move to Seattle, what's the difference. I'm in Seattle, come to Seattle unless it was a dream job, the only thing, because even for a job, you can make arrangements to maybe have some sort of similar job

in Seattle. But if it's his actual dream job where he said he'd been working a very long time to get that, then I can understand moved to New York and then having to really talk further upon where they were going to live. But I don't know, that's tough. I mean, yeah, I thought that they I mean, obviously they won't be on Paradise. Usually they bring couples to that's and that's the thing too. I thought that they

were bringing some couples down for this season's Paradise. I know, obviously they brought you and actually down as we discussed, and I think that they brought other couples. I thought that Taylor and Derek were one of those couples. Maybe not, maybe not, I don't know. I mean, judging by this news, they probably saw it coming. So I'd be shocked if they end up, you know, doing any type of Cameo and Paradise together. That'd be weird. These public breakups are

always weird too. It's like, did they delivered a joint statement and then both both posts on their instagrams? I'm not really sure how that worked, and then the news around the story. Did they both go to the news and I was like, hey, we're going to break up? I think you know, I mean with the public breakup. I'm sure you know you're in the public I right, So you don't owe anybody anything. You don't owe anybody in explanation, And having said that, everybody assumes you're in

a public relationships. So, for example, if Derek and Taylor broke up but they never announced anything, would you just assume that they'd be even if Derek was just posting pictures of himself on Instagram, would you just assume that they're still together? Yeah, I mean, if you don't have any of the reason to assume otherwise. But then people obviously start saying like, oh, you haven't posted with your significant other, and example, you guys are definitely broken up.

So isn't it easier just to get ahead of the story and say, hey, listen, it sucks, we don't want to announce it, but it's probably just easier this way rather than people making rumors assumptions, and then we're probably gonna have to talk about it later down the road anyway, So might as well just talk about it right now.

Get it over with. Put it out there. Obviously, you News is going to run it because I mean, you've been in this world long enough where rumors swirl people you know, um hear stories and ask questions and so it's very easy to just put it out there. That

makes it I don't know, Um, I'm so. I'm in a group chat with both of them from Paradise last year, Like, we have a big group chat as a pretty much all of the original cast members that were there, and there were no indicators leading up to this breakup from what I saw. Granted, like we obviously don't text each other every day, even in that group chat, but there was nothing that would make any of us I feel like, feel like they were going to break up, which is

just surprising, I guess. But like you said earlier, like oh, they forgot they were engaged. That's the thing. It's like you guys were basically in a long distance relationship for the entirety of your relationship. You didn't really give it a fair chance to begin with. You know, you never even let the freaking plane leave the runway. You were just sitting in the freaking uh termamob the whole time. Yeah,

waiting for things to take off. Ye yeah, potentially. Like I said, I don't really know that you're workings a relationship. I've only meant Derek a couple of times. But um, you know, you know, I mean, like I said, does it shock anybody? I'm not trying to even be a jerk when I say that, but is it? I don't even mean just Derek and Taylor. But you know, we've seen so many Paul Look relationships and then public breakups that I think a lot of us are just becoming

numb to it. It's like, oh, dark Tail didn't work out well. I swear to I swear Jared. If we see one of these where you and Ashley, I'm going to lose my mind. I'm not boycotting, it's not gonna happen. Doing whatever it takes to make sure that it's not true, I'm very confident it won't happen. Well, I guess, uh, I mean, we saw well, what about so you try you talked about public breakup for a second. You obviously had one just a few months ago. You don't have

to get into the details about it. But what made you guys say, Okay, we're gonna announce it. You know, that's a great questions. It was tricky to um that whole situation was just weird, weird, weird. I kind of feel uncomfortable even talking about it, to be honest, but I will. I mean, you don't, you don't have to talk about it. But just was there anything where you guys said, hey, it's better if we just announced it

rather than let people assume we're not together anymore. No, but what was weird was before we even had the chance to announce anything. E News ran an article about us breaking up, like interesting, before anything was even like even happened. Really, they ran in article of us being broken up? Did you guys know that the article is

coming out? So my friend who works at the news texted me and said, hey, just so you know, I'm running an article about you today And I was like, oh, what's the article And she goes, oh, it's you unless you're breaking up, And I'm like, well, we aren't broken up. Were you guys broken up? No, we weren't. You guys are still together when the news reported that you guys were broken up? So no, when she texted me that

it was just a weird situation. So she text me that they're going to run an article early in the morning, and I was like, um, okay, that's weird because we're not broken up, Like what's your source and she's like, we can't tell the sources whatever, whatever. And then later

that day is when Leslie and I broke up. And then so when they ran the article itself, like technically we were broken up, but when they told me that they were they were gonna run the article, we hadn't been broken up yet and pretty much so they knew it was coming. And so what was weird about that situation is then I feel like both of us, Leslie and I were backed into our corner and we're like, oh, well,

like they ran an article about us breaking up. Are we supposed to now post for ourselves about the breakup or did we just go about living our lives on Instagram as we normally would and just kind of forget about it all together? Yeah, and letting people you know, read the article if they want to assume whatever they care to what. But you guys, obviously we're we don't

have to get the into workings. But when you found out that the article was coming out, you guys, both of you guys knew it was pretty much over because there's no I mean, unless you're telling me that there's an article ran that you guys broke up and then five hours later, you guys. That's that's the incredibly confusing thing is it's like, how, how and why did they want to run an article about is breaking up when there was no inklinger like leading up to that, you know.

And again, I feel, really we're talking about this because I don't know, I don't know why. But I had just gotten back from India, um like, Leslie and I hadn't been together for what three weeks or so, And I guess people were just assuming and maybe the news took it that assumption and ran with it, and they're like, we're just gonna publish this story. I mean, it's news. It's not like it's the freaking Wall Street Journal in

New York Times or something like that. Still, though I don't know if they would publish any type of story like that on a on a gut feeling. It was just a weird situation too, And I don't know, like, I don't know what. And I think with any type of public breakup, and then specifically going back to Derek and Taylor, there's no right way to do it. Anyway you do it, it's going to be weird and uncomfortable. You're in a public relationship that people are invested in.

It's just weird to have to announce. Um, so it didn't work out, but we still have friends, and it's just an awkward, awkward statement to release, Like a joint statement. I think the joint statement is the way to go. Like Claire and Ben Wall did a joint statement. Seems like Taylor and Derek did a joint statement. It's just easier that way, you know, just to put it out there together, move on with your lies. Um, I think it's easier just to make a public announcement. We did

not do a joint statement. Would you guys do just Instagram? I mean that's pretty much a joint statement because you guys posted each on your own Instagram, which is somewhat of a weird joint statement, I would say, because if it would be weird if one of you guys posted the other one didn't, that would be the weird thing. Let's stop talking about this and you wish them the best. Um, you know, even if the relationships don't work out, obviously,

you still want the individual to be happy. So hopefully it's for the best. Hopefully they really are both in good places. It's hard to break off in jugement. I've never done it, but I can't. It's hard enough to break up with a girlfriend. I can't imagine breaking up with a fiancee. I know. Well, at least you know they didn't cross the threshold and so they don't have to break up as husband and wife. That would have been far worse. So well, see, hopefully the best for him.

Let's talk about last night's batchelortt real quick, what do you thought about Jordan versus David? Yeah, so last night we had the show down the infamous two on one that we have every single season, Jordan versus David, and it ended pretty much exactly how I had wanted it

to end. I hate, well, I don't want to say the word hate, but I've strongly disliked both of those characters on the show mostly and at the end of at the end of this, and I feel like a lot of people will be able to agree with me on this is At first you're like a little annoyed the Jordan for always kind of stirring everything up. But then by the end of it, you're like, David is just as bad, if not worse than Jordans through through all of this, I think we both thought David was

worse the worser part of this. Yeah, David was the lesser. And it's it's funny too because it's the same thing that happened on my season. There was a villain, and there was a guy that he kind of villainized a little more than the rest. It was Blake and waboom, And by the end of it, you're like, well, Blake is just more frustrating now than the villain is, because he's the one that's like making his entire universe about that other guy when he should be making it about

the girl. That's kind of what David is like. Whenever David talked to Becca, he was talking about Jordan or not about their relationship. Yeah, even yesterday, the twun of them one, David pulled back at aside, and he's like, Hey, it's really great being here, but in the spirit of being honest, Jordan's sucks. And it's like, why would you even dive into that conversation talk about yourself? You talked

about Jordan. The entire experience so far, it's always the guys that go on this show that talk about other guys that are the ones that self destructive. And if you apply that to real life dating, think about going on a date with someone in the real in the real world. I'll say that term lightly because obviously Batcheld is the real world. It's just a little bit more of an amplified version of it. But like, you don't go on a date with someone first date, third date,

whatever it is, and just start trashing. I guess how would how would it apply? Though? Maybe like you'd go on a date with a girl that used to have a thing with one of your buddies and maybe maybe still has like an ongo thing with someone or something like that. Maybe, And but it's also not like a friend. It's just like a guy that you know, and so you're like, hey, what's going on. I'm really happy to go on this date. By the way, the guy that you know you were dating that you still kind of

talk to. He sucks and he's dishonest and he's lying to and he's not here for the right reasons, and she's like, we're at a dive bar, what do you mean the right reasons? The reasons already get drunk and say if we like each other, that's about as simple ass. That's the right reasons right there. And so I think David, I hate saying it because he seems like a nice guy, but man, he was just so annoying with the Jordan

thing because he could not help himself. And that was the frustrating part, was that there comes a time where you gotta let things go. And I think Jordan was very much ready to let it go. He wasn't talking too much before the two on one. He wasn't talking about David unless it was like his I T M

s and he was trying to be funny. And then but David just every time, even before the two on one, we was like, oh, you could bring you cold and unparents, like, you know, do I need to know about any underwear? It's like, David, let it go. And I think I think Colton said it perfect. Actually perfectly when excuse me. Um. After the two on when david suitcase was taken away, He's like, he went in with the wrong attitude, and

he's completely accurate. I think David just saw Jordan as the bad guy, and David was like, okay, but if I'm against the bad guy, that makes me guy. And I think that was his um path, his direction, Like if that makes any sense, well, so then let's apply this maybe to a similar but different situation. If your friend is dating someone that you don't like, do you tell your friend that his girlfriend is no good? Um? Like,

where's that boundary? Where's that boundary? Set? I think you should put out feelers, but I feel like it always ends badly when you talk to a friend and you're like, listen, they your boyfriend sucks. Um. Like somebody in my life that I know likes to date a project, somebody that she feels like she can fix, so to speak. Um. And if I were to tell her that, hey, listen, I think your boyfriend sucks and he's a bad person, she'd be like no, no, no, no, no no no,

he's just misunderstood. You don't get him. He loves me for who I am. He's so good to me, and it's like, yeah, that's fine, but he's probably cheating on you as well. And so I think there's a line where you have to um sensitively approach the subject, especially if you don't have concrete evidence of anything. Yeah, you have no concrete everence. It's just a vibe you don't

like them, And so you go up to him. Because the problem is if you tell your friend that you don't like their significant other, that could create this ten tension and she might choose the significant other because she could easily or he or she could easily be like, well, you don't get it, you don't understand, you're not in our relationship. Um and so, and I think there's a little like rebellion factor to it. Yeah, I agree with that,

I will say that. So the only situation that comes to mind for me in this sense is back when I was living in Colorado in Denver, Um, one of my best friends was dating this girl who we used to work with, and she was just kind of a little cuckoo at times, and he was like kind of

blinded by it. She was this beautiful girl and he like saw that only and only that, and from his friends perspective, I was like, listen, Bud, I love you and I'll always support the decisions that you make, but like, I just wish you could see the sides of crazy to her that everyone else sees that maybe you're not seeing quite as much. And like he's like, no, it's fine, Like she's good, she's great, she treats me well, blah blah blah, and their relationship is very tumultuous and and

kind of like a roller coaster. And by the end of it, and once they officially broken up like once and for all, they you know, they broke up and got picked together multiple times. But by the end of it, he was like, I should have like listened to you. I should have listen to the rest of my friends saying like how crazy she is and how we weren't

good together all this kind of stuff. But and while you're in the moment, I think it's like it's easy to get lost and caught up in the relationship and then kind of like discount everything that your friends are saying about it. I completely agree. You just have blinders under the relationship and you romanticize everything, and so I think you should obviously tell our friend listen. If you think that they're doing something really shady, you should approach it.

But you have to approach it in a sensitive way because if you go to him and say, hey, listen, your boyfriend sucks, then they're gonna be like, well, screw you, while you're not a very good friend to me, like you just don't understand, you don't get it, and so,

and I think also there's a factor. The more you tell someone you shouldn't be with them, the more they want to be with them, you think, I think so, just like the anti authoritarian and everyone think about like specifically maybe a parent, Yeah, like a mom disapproving of a boyfriend. I think there might be times where the girlfriends like I want to rebel. Oh absolutely, But isn't the parents Are the parent always right in that situation. It seems to me that every girlfriend my parents have

hated over the years, they were a thousand percent right. No, they are right. But here's the thing with that is I feel like it's as a child you have to be you kind of are more like, all right, well, let me figure this out for myself, Like you think you know what's best for me, but let me prove to myself that you're that I'm going to figure it out on my own kind of thing, you know, because

I'm trying to think back. I don't think any of my siblings or parents ever like disagreed with the person I was dating, but they were I was definitely the person that my girlfriend's parents didn't like her dating, you know what I mean. And she was very much the contarian and wanted to rebel against her parents. And you seem like a parent's dream. What is it about you that parents don't like? Well, the only thing that comes to mind is Carmel, who we've had on this podcast before.

It was high school. I was like constantly sneaking out of my house. I was constantly you know, getting in trouble with like the the school and like the police have just like I don't know, but like you know, like like high school students do. Like they they go underage drinking, they go to bonfires, can fires, all that

kind of stuff. And I think my girlfriend's parents saw this and like saw me like sneaking into their house at night on a on a Tuesday, just being like this guy is not good for my daughter right now, Like get him out of here. So I mean, I don't disagree with you that parents typically do know best, but there is still it's like a funness factor to the relationship. I wonder if Karmel knows that her parents

were right. Well, that's the thing with now. I don't think that she has the closest relationship with their parents anymore. But I will say, like Carmen and I are still friends, were still in good terms. I don't. I mean, I don't use the term friends because we don't talk ever. But um, it was it was just it was just a funny situation. We get a lot of emails on this exact subject. I can't stand my friend's boyfriend. Should I say something? What do you do in the situation?

You're saying it's a bad idea to get involved. I

don't take it's a bad idea. I just think you have to approach it in a sensitive way because I think also, if you start telling somebody all the bad things that that like their boyfriend and girlfriend have, they're gonna start focusing on all the good things because for every bad thing you say, they're gonna say, well, yes, but at the same time, they treat me so well and they're so loyal and so honest, and you're like, yeah, but they do this, but then the person but they

do that, and then that kind of goes on. But if you're like, no, he's great, he's wonderful, then maybe they start might they might actually open their eyes a little bit and start focusing on some of the bad things too. Actually, his parents are crazy about you. I've been very, very lucky for the past three years that the fact that I've had a very good relationship with their parents. I've been over our house numerous times. I think the first time I met them was in October

two fifteen. And they've been so nice to me and so gracious when they really didn't have to be. I'm so grateful to have in laws like them. And she said, and the most famous podcast that you did reach out to her parents unbeknownst to her. Yes, so I called. I didn't want them to have to keep the secret too long, so I called her dad. I texted her dad. Actually, I said, Mr Rick and Eddie, whenever you have a second, I'd love to talk to you. Please don't tell Ashley

I'm reaching out. He knows exactly what's going on. No, he did not, because well, first he texted back, who's this and so and um and so, and then I responded and said, it's it's Jared. I just want to talk to her a few minutes. And he says, everything okay. I said, everything is fine, Um, just a couple of

minutes on the phone, of your time, please. So he called me about ten or fifteen minutes later, and we talked on the phone for about ten minutes, and uh, you know, I started the conversation just asking how he's doing, what's up, blah blah blah blah blah, And then I went into like this four minute monologue about my feeling stars actually and everything that's happened over the past three years, and where I see our relationship going, and how important

she is to me, and how wonderful, um, you know, how how much of a lucky I'd be to be a part of your family, so on and so forth. And then finally I said, you know, as you well know, we're probably as you know, we're making a cameo on Paradise, and I wanted to ask for your permission to ask for her hand in marriage. Um. And so he was like, very well done, Jared, very well done. Uh, and he just saidn't really wonderful things and said he'd be very

proud to have me as a son in law. So and then that's when I asked if I should tell Ashley's mom, because Ashley's mom has no poker face. I love her so much, but you know, like any mom, she would be so excited. How can you possibly contain that? And he was like, listen, I trust my wife. She would never spoil anything like this. So I called her mom later that day. We talked on the phone for like a half hour, and um, and you know, she was very excited. She said said something that was so

sweet though. She said, of all the guys that Actuley has ever you know dated or you know, been around, She's like, you're the only guy that I would um want as a son in law. And so that was very very very sweet of her to say, and so I heard him. I get along with her mom famously though. I remember the first time I ever met her, we sat in living for like forty five minutes and just

talked about everything and anything. And then this was like I said back in two thousan fifteen, and at the end of the conversation, she goes, are you sure you're not gonna did Ashley and said, listen, I don't know what the future housing store, but um we shall see Mrs liken Ttie. So so yes, of course I reached out. I had to come on, you do you have to So it was a little interesting because when I was down in Mexico, I was talking to Tanner and Evan about it and I was like, oh, you know, I

had to call the dad. You know, I'm sure you guys went through the same thing, and they were like, no, we didn't. Actually you never had the opportunity. You guys got engaged on the show. It was so funny. Tanner was like, yeah, you're an apt I was like, I wasn't even thinking because it would have been so weird. Could you imagine? Like what if Tanner called him after the proposal and I was like, Hey, I don't know Roper is Jade's James. So he goes, hey, Mr Roper,

I know we've never met each other. I know you have no idea who I am, but just so you know, I've already asked your daughter to marry me and she said yes. And whether I have your blessing or not, would that be wouldn't that be more on. You know, that's not acceptable. I mean, my daughter is my oldest is twelve, so we're not there yet, but that's not acceptable. Yeah.

So as a as a dad, if say, hypothetics, your daughter on exactly so thirty days, so she was going for thirty days, so you have no idea if she's engaged your summer camp. It's summer camp. She goes off to a summer camp, potentially gets engaged. She comes back and she says, Hey, I got engaged to this guy. I want you to meet him. So the guy calls you, Hey, Mr Wong, I guess proposed to your daughter in summer camp. So would you rather have the guy that you have

no idea who he is or anything about that? But yeah, I would rather. I don't want a phone call. He needs to come and talk to me personally. Yes, I see. I I wanted to do that as well, but unfortunately I'm in Los Angeles. Her dad was in Virginia. I called my father, my future now father in law as well, because I was in Los Angeles and they were in Wisconsin.

So sometimes you don't have a choice. Voice and just like you wait to the left possible second before Amy and I went out of town so her mother wouldn't spoil it because it's the same poker face reason. So it's funny, that's very similar. I feel like a lot of moms. I had a nerve, right. I had a difficult time telling my own mom because I was like,

you cannot, like. I was afraid my mom was gonna like text Ashley and just be like, I hope you have fun in Paradise with like some sort of smiley emoji, because that's exactly what my mom would do, which would be a dead giveaway. So I was like, mom, you you can't do anything right. You can't do anything. And some of my friends whom it's just like like Tanner, one of my buddies, new and and and and he was like, should I, like, you know, set up this text and I, like, you know, try to like allude

to maybe we're not getting engaged. I was like, no, less is more. Let's just everybody, everybody stay calm, nobody overreact. Let's just get through this. I don't want her to know anything, or at least as little as possible. So I was right there, beautiful, So we can we tell the Wong story real quick? If I didn't know why you just called me Mr. Just to please what We talked about it before, but you have I don't remember talking about that. We have maybe we haven't talked about

it on air. I don't think we have on air. That's what I'm saying, Please enlightened that. I worked for Rickney's about ten years ago and we did a morning show on a station called Moving nine to three nine that doesn't exist anymore in Los Angeles, but he asked me to be the news guy on his morning show. My name is Mark Mulnitski, very Chuckoslovakian name, and he said I'd love you to be my news guy. Said, wow, that's really exciting. Thank you so much. I'd love to

do that. And he said, I'd like your name to be Mark Wong. And the reason was he loved the phrase you heard it right from Wong as a news again, that was my catchphrase. That's it, you heard it right from Wong. I'm Mark Wong on Moving nine and that was the deal. So that's why I was Mark Wong for two and a half years. But it was tough for my wife because she would tell people my husband's Mark Wong and they would immediately look to our children.

Expect you to see these multi ethnic children. And we're from Wisconsin, We're not. There's no Asian in us whatsoever. And so that was always confusing for people. And I would make appearances and people would not expect me to look the way I look. Was very strange for three years. But that's why he just referred to me as Mr Wong. I'm only referring to you as Mr Wang from now on. I think it's incredible. It's amazing. Um Okay, so let's move on to further things about last night's episode. Chris,

who had a bit of a self destruction moment himself. Yeah, he was self destruction last night. What was he so mad about? Again, He was coming off the group date super hot, after the whole performance at the bar or whatever it was, and then and then he didn't get any time at the later portion of the date, which was his own fault. He never went out to her. As being one of the guys on the Bachelorette, you have to make the effort. Bent his own fault for

not going up and talking to Becca. And then come Rose Ceremony cocktail hour, he got some time with Becca and Becca was a little upset with him for not I guess inserting himself when she feels like he should have and that's what she would want in a partner. And then he starts like getting on his heels and backpatting a little bit and be like, oh, well, I don't remember exactly what I said. I remember at that.

So it was at the group date, and then at the night portion, the cocktail portion portion, he didn't go up to her, and then she sat back down. She's like, I'm sorry, I didn't get to spend some time with everybody. I think he was the only guy that didn't have time. So he was kind of getting a little mad that she didn't come up to him, which is absolutely ridiculous. She gives the rose to blake, he gets a little pissy about it, and then he said he was gonna

go home, and that's what started the entire thing. I hated how he said he wanted to go home over and over and over again. It kind of reminded me of like like a toddler who doesn't get a toy and they're like, well, if I don't get this, I'm gonna run away, and then you'll be sorry and it's like, listen, Chris, if you want to go home. Um, I'm sure beck

Is gonna be just fine with it. Like I hate when people threaten uh friends somebody with leaving, and I think I think the reason that they do that, and maybe that Chris did it the last night as well, was like I'm going to see how much he cares about me by seeing how hard she fights for me to stick around kind of thing. You know. I will say that there was a point during my Bachelor experience where my journey, if you will, where we were at a cocktail hour and I was like, listen, guys, like

I'm exhausted. I don't know what's going on. Like I like, I want to go home, Like I missed my friends, I missed my home, I missed everything about like being back just in California around like my usual life because you know, you're gone for like six weeks at that point too. And they're like listen, like this is part of the journey, Like this is like everyone goes through this. And then eventually I was like, oh, you're right, Like

I'm just being dramatic right now. Whatever it is. I think that he just had he had such a big meltdown. I don't know exactly what it is. I think like he maybe sees other relationships progressing faster, like a like a Garrett Blake Colton all seemed to be doing really really well for themselves and he thinks he's the front runner too, and then he's like, oh wait, like I thought, I'm putting everything out there and I'm still not even top of the pecking order, like maybe I should go

home kind of thing. And I think everybody goes through that, but everybody is allowed to have a moment, but his wasn't a moment. His was an ongoing thing because this bled into the Rose ceremony where he did the exact same thing, where he just felt like Becca was mad at him, and he was like, I just want to go home. This is ridiculous, And that's what bothered me.

It wasn't it's fine to have a moment of weakness and say I want to go home, because we all were there, right, We're like, it's exhausting and this process is very difficult, and there's still ten other guys and while I feel confident, I'm not sure where the hell I am. Um. I just kind of want to go home and sleep in my own bed and back in my comfort zone. But with him, it was more of I'm gonna go home, because it was he was using it more as a threat towards Becca. That's what I

felt like. It was more of like, if she doesn't show me more, I'm gonna go home. It's like, okay, but it's not her responsibility to show him more. It's his responsibility to show her more because he's one of the guys. Yes, that's just the way the show works. For example, when it's The Bachelor and you're one of the girls, it's your responsibility to show the one man more than he has to show back. I mean, that's just the way the the the entire Bachelor franchise works. Yeah. Absolutely.

But and so Chris started mounting down a little bit, and then it went into the cocktail party. But it was super funny when he went up, so he had his time, and then he went back up to get more time and he interrupted Wills, and Will's reaction was perfect, was like, I'm gonna give you two minutes, and Will's got up, to his credit, gave him. Even if it wasn't a full two minutes, it was a minute. And then he came back, and I hated the way Chris

kind of approached it again. We was like, he's like this, you can't give me more. You can't give me more, like I just need five minutes. I just need And then he was like, man, this is really important. And I loved wills Um response to that when he was like, what, my time is not imporn And that's such an awkward thing too. It's because you don't want to be disrespectful to him, the other guy, disrespectful to her Becca, and disrespectful to yourself, and so you're like, okay, like there's

so much going on. I don't want it to look like I'm a pushover and get up right away. But I also want to be respectful and like polite and allow you to grasp at whatever straws you need to grasp that here. And I think Will handled it entirely appropriately, like he was respectful. He gave him some time even though he probably shouldn't have. No, Yeah, and then his

time is just as important. What it was funny too, is when Wills came back to sit down on the couch and Jayson, I'm sorry Chris was sitting there, and Chris is like, well, so, like, what will is, You're gonna be super angry at me? And I was was like, not not angry, man, like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. I never said you're disrespecting me. That's what he said, right. I hope you got what you think you needed out

of that. And so I'm listening. I'm glad that Chris got a rose because, like we talked about, yet, it wasn't a good moment for him. He had a bad couple of nights, which is frustrating. But if he gets the rose and he's able to move forward and actually learn from this, then I'm all for it. But judging by the preview, apparently him and Lincoln get into it, so it doesn't look like he learned from his mistakes. Unfortunately.

UM I agree. Um So, before we jump into this third and final segment of the day, we're going to share with you a podcast that we're all pretty excited to hear about. That we are, so let's let's hear about it. The Thread is a new hit podcast from Azzi Media that explores history surprising connections in order to discover how one thing leads to another, like how movie moguls in early Hollywood helps spark the me too movement today. Get it on I Heart radio or wherever you listen.

Podcasts are awesome right there? There's so many different ways to go with this. Sure, you know what they say about podcasters, right what do they say? They say those who can do and those who can't do podcasts? I think that's true that uh do you under some emails? Jamie has a question for those in relationships, so mostly Jared and Mark. She says, do you ever feel pressured to make your significant other smile or laugh when they're

feeling sad or grumpy? How do you deal with when they're in that mood where they won't just smile at anything? I always take it personally when my fiance is grumpy, won't smile at anything I say. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it sometimes. How do you deal with your fiance slash wife in a mood and there's nothing you can do about it? Mark? After you I've been married for this summer will be sixteen years. Um.

I think space is important in a relationship. And I think when the other partner is grumpy, and it could be my wife or it could be me, I think The message that is unconsciously being sent is I need a little space right now. And I think that's what you should do for your fiance. Just leave him be a little bit. Because as much as we love our spouses and we love our families, you know, like we've joked about in the past, there's a reason that dad's with kids spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

They just need a few minutes to themselves, and so sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. When you're all live in a house. It isn't necessarily that big you need. It gets a little bit crowded sometimes, So I think that's the main thing is to give him some space. I would agree, sometimes you just need to go outside and get some mair, and then it clears your head and you're like, why the hell was I just so mad? Sometimes I'll even sometimes I'll just take a drive and

like listen to music. I'll drive for like ten minutes and then it will be just I'll be centered again. It was kind of funny though, when you're talking about how so many guys been so much time in bathroom. There's an ongoing joke. Last year at the New England Patriots with Tom Brady. Tom Brady was early at the stadium every day, and there's this ongoing rumor that he was like he needed to get out of the house. So he's like, all right, honey, I'm going to the

stadium seven hours before the game. I gotta get out of here. Um. But yeah, I think, listen, you have to handle each differently. Like for me, I you know, I know Ashley well enough where I can like know how to handle her in a grumpy mood. I think she knows how to handle me as well. And it all really is different. But I think space is a

good universal idea to deal with that. There's just no downside to it, you know, leaving me for a little bit, and if there they need something, look find you exactly all right, there we go doing anything to add I think you guy said at all? All right? This is from a confused data. She calls herself. I never thought I'd be in her friends with benefits relationship, but here I am. We slept together recently for the first time.

Before we did, I told him I'm not sure I'm really into you right now, but I'm physically attracted to you, and I'm very in the mood he was fine with that. I'll bet he was. Since then, we've found out a few more times and continue to have sex. It's great. I'm enjoying it for what it is, and also know that if you wanted to end things, I would not be heartbroken. It's taken me a while to get over my act, and this is the first time I feel like I've gotten my swag back. But it feels weird

telling people I'm just using him primarily for sex. I mean, it could lead to more, but I'm not really feeling it from a man's perspective. Do you think that friends with benefits situations are implied or was this a conversation we need to have. I feel like the man in this situation. I want to date again and date other people, but still continue with this until I have feelings for

someone else. For those of you have been in those situations, what is the friends with benefits conversation like or does it even have to happen? I think the tricky thing with these situations specifically, is what is your interaction on a weekly basis with this person via conversation? Are you texting each other? Are you asking how your days are going?

All that kind of stuff. Because that's the kind of stuff that's going to lead a purely physical relationship into an emotional one, probably more for you than for him, I would think. And if that doesn't happen, like if you guys basically just meet up every Friday or Saturday night and like hook up and then go about your week and then just kind of come back to that every week, then that's purely a friends with benefits situation.

But that's kind of what we don't see with this specifically, is what's happening regularly conversationally that you know, we're we're kind of oblivious to because I think that's kind of

where it all draps fround. Yeah. I also think I think the only time you have to really bring up with friends with benefits conversation is if you are sleeping with other people, because then now that's I think that's the only conversation really need to have, is Okay, if we are friends with benefits, are we hooking up with other people? Because then that brings in a whole different conversation. Um, But I think right now, yeah, you guys are fine.

There's nothing wrong with having friends with benefit Like, I get that people feel awkward talking about it, but it's certainly not embarrassing in any way. It is just a physical need that human beings have to have. Like that's just that's just the way it is, That's the way life is. And so I don't know, there's nothing wrong with having a friends with benefit if you guys just like the physical part of your relationship. But you guys don't want to dive in anymore than do exactly what

he was saying. We're just as long as you guys both comfortable, comfortable text each other and be like, hey, you want to hook up tonight. And she's getting her swag back. This is working for her. She's getting over this way exactly, and doesn't it work in a lot of ways. It brings about it like anytime you start hooking up, you start feeling better about yourself and you start building a little bit more confidence. You just have to be safe about it and have open communication. You

don't want to lead anybody on. Okay, But does the communication involved the conversation that she's asking about. Because my feeling is and this might be a little too much of a guy thought, My guy thought on this is the conversation could ruin this? I agree, and so that's where you want to have communication and make sure you're both on the same page. So how do you make both happen? I think, like Dean said, it all depends

on what the conversations are. Like, if you guys are talking every other day, then you might need to have a talk. But if you guys are talking once a week and that one time is to set up a date when you guys hook up, I think you're fine. Okay, all right, But I do think Mark has a great point. It's like, the second you have the conversation, I'm trying to think of what it applies. It's like shouting your cat. It's like, once you address it, then that's what it becomes.

Sort of thing. So it's like if you ask the person like, hey, so we're just gonna have We're just gonna hook up with each other and that's gonna be it. Another person is like, oh wait, whoa, I don't want to hook up with you at all anymore kind of thing. So it's like it's it's kind of a I don't know, maybe it catch twenty two in a sense, but well, why would the other person do not want to hook

up anymore? I don't know, it's just like once you address it and maybe like they thought that it was leading to something more, and then you're very open or not, Like, isn't it better than you addressed it early on rather than leading him on? Absolutely, So maybe it's best if they talk. Okay, you're right on hansation, No, we're not. Come on, we need to pick definitive stances here. I think, yeah, you're right, Maybe address it and just be like, hey,

what what we have going on? It is great, Let's continue to do what we're doing and not think anything else of it. Hypothetically speaking, what if they are talking once a week and it is only to set a time to hook up, and if that's what she wants, and maybe that's just keep doing that exactly right. So I think it all depends as long as they're having protected sexual intercourse with each other. I agree you just yeah,

because that's the friends with benefit. That's where it gets gray, is the fact that we'll say I go on a date and it goes really well, and then I go on another day and we end up hooking up. Because then it's like, I don't know if that's really fair for anybody involved, So just be safe I really haven't heard much since he said Schrodinger's cat. Can you explain

that to what? That sounds interesting? You don't. I don't know that Schrodinger was I don't remember exactly, either a scientist or a philosopher from a while ago where he devised his experiment where he put a cat in a shoebox, and in that shoebox with the cat was like a piece of I can't remember what it was, something that could kill the cat the second he gets into it. And basically the cat is both alive and dead until

you open the box to observe the cat. So if you open the box and the cat is dead, you killed the cat. But if you didn't, if you don't open the box, then the cat is still presumed alive, which makes you innocent in the sense. So it's like up until up until you observe something for what it is. It can be either things beforehand, you know what I mean. And if you observe it dead, then it's your fault

for killing the cat. But if you don't observe it at all, then your remain kind of innocent in that sense. So that's kind of the thing that I'm thinking of It's like, until you observe this friends with benefits relationship for what it is, it can be either thing that you both wanted to be, You know what I mean. That's really it's really intelligent. Any we just did that. I'm very impressed with that. Thanks Mark Long, I appreciate it.

All right, let's do another one. This is Marley. Two years ago, I moved to austrail Ya, and I was using apps to meet people. After three days with this guy, he said he was looking for someone a seriously date. I said, I don't know, I'm mostly looking to meet people. Year and a half goes by. We come very close friends. Well, one night, we're drinking heavily. We'll go back to his place. Things weren't working on his end and he started freaking out.

He said he wanted to tell me that feelings for me, but couldn't understand why this wasn't working with someone he actually finally has feelings for, and now it's not happening. What's my problem? I was very supportive. I said, it's no big deal. For the next week, we hung out every day, but all we did was peck goodbye. When he dropped me off. No more action. Finally, ten days after the incident, takes me out to dinner, drops me off, sends me a text ten minutes later, ending it I

was shocked. What happened? Did he change his mind that fast? Is he just insecure about the incident? Is it possible he felt like Jared didn't wasn't ready to be in a place where he could be the man who needed him to be? Or should I just accept that there was no spark? I mean, it is very coincidental that after that moment you noticed a definitive change in his interactions.

Impendence can really mess with the guy's head, Oh, of course, because it's just like we're men, right, We're supposed to be, you know, strong and tough and like capable, capable exactly, and then when you're not, it's definitely demoralizing and embarrassing. I've been there before, it's nothing. Everybody's been there before. It's nothing to be ashamed of. But at the same time, I mean, are you guys since we've all been there, like you've been that moment, you've had that moment You're like,

I feel like I'm letting her down. Contrary to this situation though, Is it didn't nothing did nothing but make me want to prove my ability even more. And so that's kind of weird that he took the opposite approach where he's like, oh, like this went wrong in the

first time, I'm just gonna avoid it entirely and completely now. Yeah, but it goes back to your theory with the cat, where instead of like actually opening the box and seeing at the cat's dad, he's like, I'm just never opening that box again, and it's going to be out of mind, out of sight. That's kind of right. I think he feels like maybe there was just no coming back from that because there's also the mental game you can play, and with this guy might have been playing, like if

we try again and it doesn't happen again, that's bad. Yeah, it's not bad, but it's just, you know, it's a possibility. Because the thing too is he was probably gonna. He knew he was gonna be overthinking it, like in the moment he knew he was that he was just gonna That's probably why it happened to him in the first places.

He's overthinking. He's like, oh, I have to perform now, and like if I don't that, I'm gonna be, you know, judge and criticize and all that kind of stuff, and like you get that thought process stuck in your own head and it's I mean, you could speak to lengths about this stuff because I've been there the worst. But the thing is too they say, we were out one night drinking heavily, and alcohol has an effect on it, huge effect. You know, sometimes when you're too drunk, it's

just not there. It's interesting that this guy was just even unwilling to try a sober I think that for Marley's six, she should just kind of forget about it. I agree, maybe got some confidence issues if I don't know. And then what the guy is thinking of that situation is how you're going to react, Like that's his biggest fear is how you're going to react, even though that

may or may not be there. There maybe is no right or wrong way to react, But that's his fear is that you're gonna take it personally, that you're going to think this is something that he's not attracted to you or you it's going to add to your insecurities and that's so not what's going on. And that's the last thing he wants you to think. Yeah, exactly, because Yeah, I mean, guys just generally perk up at the weird times throughout the day, and I'm using that turn perk

up very specifically for one specific thing. And so the fact that maybe one time it's not working, it's not a personal thing that she should be concerned about. It's just a thing that the guy is going through at that moment, and I'm sure when he wakes up in the morning, he'll be perfectly pricked up again. It's kind of yeah, we don't have to get down to this, but never mind. I like those conversations. I did too, actually, but it's more common than you think. For all the

women listening to this. Five try not to take it personally. If that never happens, even like for a regularly like a perfectly capable, regularly functioning guy can still happen, you know. Yeah, one in five, baby, well, one in five struggles with it regularly. But even the most like fit and testosterone filled man can still experience it. Yeah, we all just

admitted that we've all been through. We've all been there, and there's a lot of testoster in this room right now, a lot of it feel it years and years ago. I'm up right here it comes. I had this friend of mine that was really close with and things got kind of hot and heavy. I had a really bad mike rain at the time, and that can hurt things, if you know what I mean, and so it was really embarrassing, and uh, we just kind of fell asleep.

And then the next day I didn't want to talk about it because you know, my hugo was bruised and uh, there's some other stuff going on. We didn't talk about it for years, and then finally years later, I was like, I gotta clear the air about something because she thought I was and I'm like, I was very Indio, very very Indio. And then um, five years after that, that woman became my wife. The way you're going with the story, that's exactly the ending. I thought it was gonna happen,

hoping yes, So Somarley should not be worried. This is the person's just been Yeah, there we go. That's a fun personal tidbit. Mark. Sorry, Easton's relationship with his wife started with impotence. That's right. Let's see you wonder one more. This one's not as much dating. It's Kylie. Four years ago, I unintentionally set up two of my best friends by inviting them to hang out with a big group, and

they hit it off. They've didd it on and off for the four years, but they are terrible for each other. Two months ago they finally broke up for good. But now they've come to the port where they hate each other and can't be around each other. I love them both, I like spending time with them, but they ruin every time we hang out. How can you be friends with two axes who can't stand each other. That's a tough one. I can't hang out with them at the same time, because, yeah,

you can't. That's that's the answer. They can't be in the same room. That was and hopefully both exers would be mature enough to understand that you're gonna stay friends with both of them and you're not going to choose. There was always an awkwardness. So when I when my former girlfriend and I broke up, she was and I have a very similar friend group, like there's a lot of overlap. We actually met the similar similar situation just

through a big group of friends. Um, and when we broke up, we didn't necessarily hate each other, but we obviously fresh out of a relationship. You don't want to be in the same room as your former boyfriend and girlfriend all the time, especially at parties and all that kind of stuff. And so there's always this weird, delicate balance that my friends were going through of like I can't invite her because Dean's here. I can't invite Dean because she's here, like that kind of thing. And I

was perfectly okay with it. I think she was perfectly okay with it. But from the friends perspective, it's challenging and it's I feel like you have to choose which friend you want to hang out with in these situations. You can't obviously invite both of them over to the party or to your house, whatever it is. You just have to either choose a side every occasion that you have, or choose a side and stick with it for the into into perpetuity. I think you choose a side or

that seems cold, I know. But when my when we when we had a couple of friends who broke up, we picked one to stay with and the other one is out of our lives. Holy moly. I mean it wasn't we didn't have like a ceremony, But it's just

kind of what happened. I think that maybe what they should do is invite both of them to the house cage match style, have those you remember American Gladiator, those cute things that they would fight with, and you put a key in the to the apartment in the middle of the living room, locked the door, and then whoever walks out is in your life? Is your best friend? Is your best friend forever? Is in your life? Forever? Genius? Genius? When we got it, Yeah, Kylie, I I think I

think pick one. Come on, you can't both of both of them, can you know? It's impossible. Because my friend was Jeremy. My wife friend was Rachel. They got married, they then they got divorced. We were friends with Rachel. Jeremy. I text him on his birthday. That's the that's the extent of I'm sorry, you got to pick a side. And I think it will naturally happen over the course of time. It will. I think one friend will just

stay in your life more than the other. Sure, And I think I think before most of those relationships happen, you already are better friends with one of them beforehand, and typically that's the one that you stay better friends with. Posts right, exactly Like in my situation, my friends obviously stayed closer with me, and her friends stayed closer with her. Obviously they wanted me a part of their life, right.

But it's just one of those things where it's like, whoever maybe you were closer with before the relationship is the person you stayed closer with the post relationship. Totally, totally, totally so per last week's episode, what we've been doing is if you get on the podcast store, leave us a five star review and roast us in the comments. We will read those roasts on air at the end of every episode. Will last week with an us and

I did it. This week it's going to be Jared and myself and Jared, I've typed out something for you. So years are gonna be on the right, miner on the left, and we'll just go on for a while. A ready, So this is a five star review, and here we go. Jared is a poor man's DiCaprio in the depoted. He doesn't need help dating. He's serving a life sentence with some smoke show. Get that man a

Cranberry juice saying a bad New England accents. That's exactly what it says right there, And that's not the line, by the way, what is it? It's I think the line is, uh, he's like, what are you drinking? Granberry juice? Get him a cranberry juice. That's the line. That's the man. That one wasn't bad. I think I think I chose some worst roast for me. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Is that a roast? If somebody says you're a poor man's DiCaprio that This kind of leads into a little bit.

This one is titled Oh my God, shut up, Jared, but this one's directed to me. So, y'all, wal Deane has wishy washy little man boy. I've remained a loyal listener. Sure, this group gives the worst possible dating advice, brings in job brownies and whackadoo psychics as guests and continually talk over each other. But who doesn't want to waste their time with that? And I included that one because it's a roast, But then it's also who doesn't want to waste their time with that? So it's kind of a

nice way to finish it. Um, all right, we god, this one's mine. Jared talks too much and too fast while being a walking pop culture reference. I take that as a compliment, thank you very much, because he has no other references. And let's be real, the pop culture references themselves are limited. That's fair. The roast as much as honest critiques. Yeah, this one, uh is by Candor the Gray and there are some words in it that

I'm probably gonna mispronounced. Five star rating, titled extremely vapid. Do you know the difference between this podcast and a bucket? The bucket? Pretty sure? When someone told these three that they had faces for radio, it went over their vacuous heads and they literally started a podcast. Most of the program consists of Dean throwing shade at his co hosts through correcting their inferior grammar. We get it, Dean, you did well on your S A T S. Jokes on you. I only take the A C T S when it

comes to the discussion. Lacks both substance and acumen. The only glimmer of hope comes from the standout star of the show, whom I can only assume is devastatingly handsome Mark, experienced, knowledgeable, shrewd. Mark is a force to be reckoned with keeping an even keel on this otherwise sinking ship boom, I know one more each before he was out here. Um, all right, says this one's about Ashley. Of course it is, Jared. Ashley was pining over you for years because she never

got over her obsession with the Backstrey Boys. And let's face it, you got the boy part down. And how long it took you to date? Wait? How long it took you to date her? And how long it took it to day her boom roasted toasted roast. Yeah, it kind of should have been a man and dated her earlier. I think it's not a roast all This one settled.

Good for drowning out the sounds of your youth dying by Heidi Heidi rou If you enjoy listening to the three most unemployed millennials ignored dating device from experts, this podcast is for you. Dean is deeply cynical, Jared can't commit to anything except his girlfriend, and Vanessa is more Canadian than Justin Trudeau. I don't know who that is. Okay, well, I'm an idiot. I highly recommend listening when you need a reason to feel superior in your love life. Five

out of five stars. Wow. That was kind of nice too. Yeah, that was kind of nice. These are actually surprisingly have a little positivity at the end of them. So on that note, if you're still listening, leave us a five star review and be incredibly mean to us because we'll read them on air next week. Um. Big thank you to Mark Easton and Eric Up for being in studio. Big thank you to Jared talking about his engagement with Ashley. Yeah,

thanks for more cloud for that. I appreciate you, guys, which we will probably talk about in every podcast from here on out. Perfect. Big thank you to the Thread podcast for being a sponsor of this podcast, which obviously would not be around without our sponsors. Maybe we can sponsor their podcast. I would love to love two of us podcast we should. Maybe that's the future, just podcasts, all sponsoring other podcasts, people helping people. I love it and I will I may as well just say this

on air. I booked a on the way ticket to Tokyo, so I might not be coming back. Dean's gonna be on the next season of Bachelor of Japan. See you there, you wait, You'll be in Tokyo for the fourth of July. I will be I'm gonna do you know people there. I don't. It's my first ever solo trip, but I'm just gonna I've always been obsessed with Japan, and I decided one day I wanted to go, and so here we got here. That's pretty exciting. I leave on Sunday. Wow,

that's really exciting. How long is the flight? It's like eleven hours. Okay, that's um, but I will be back eventually. We won't see you next week because of July four, but Jared and Vanessa will be taking over rains come the following week. So all right, thank you so much for listening. Be sure to tune in for the next episode of Help I Suck At Dating when maybe we

suck a little bit less. Follow Help I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa, and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast