#32 Love Club

welcome to another episode. Thank you for tuning in. Yeah, we all love Dean. Welcome back. Hey, happy to be Where have you been? Just got back from Kentucky. We already talked about this last two weeks ago. I did a nice little eight day rock climbing trip in Red River, Gorge. Um there was a lot of fun. Can't out in a tent for eight days, didn't shower once? It was f Oh yeah it was great. Um yeah, rock climbing, the bunch, scared myself a lot, hung out with some

good people, and uh, happy to be home. Nice. How was that last week's podcast? I listened to it. It was amazing. Thank you for asking how it was then it was fun. I listened to it. I did, I did. I was just making sure that you know, you guys are um you were doing our job? Yeah, absolutely and very I am, um, well, what are you talking about today, Vanessa? Since this is your podcast today? Is it? Well? We have Klin Rosenberg on the phone with us, Calin, are

you there? I am hi, I'm doing well. How are you? We're doing well? This is Dean, Vanessa and Jared. I'm sure obviously you you are familiar with kind of the podcast today, so um so for the listeners out there, Klin is a celebrity love architect, right, Klin, I am so, can you tell us a little a little bit more about you and um kind of the things that you

do that make you successful in that field? Well, I you know, I sort of come in like a builder, architect and designer all in one, into people's love lives and look at the reality of why it is constantly so broken and difficult and painful to live in, and why it doesn't have the love and the joy and

the happiness that everyone really deserves. So I get to the nitty gritty, spiritually soulfully an ego psychologically into every person's being, tear it all apart, tear it all down, tear up the foundation, and then literally start to as I learned different things about my clients, just rebuild and build something really beautiful for them. Um. And it's something

I've been doing for almost twenty four years. And I'm madly in love with my work and with people and and just want this world to have really what it deserves when it comes to love and peace, and so I can't Can you tell a little bit of our listeners about the Large Social Club as well and going to a little specifics about that. Yeah, So the Last Social Club is a dating app that I've been working on for about the last four years that we just

finally launched its invata right now. It's just figuring itself out. That's doing quite well. Um, it's been out there for a little over two months now, and it is really

the world's first and only fully vetted dating app. Four singles that really have a space now to go to that honors themselves in their journey when they're looking for a really amazing partner, so they can have fun in life and so it doesn't have to be so exhausting and treacherous, and so it has a um A test called the Real Reveal that is part of the onboarding process. It's it's a similar process sort of to e harmony. It's you know, it's it's something that takes a bit

of time. It's about twenty plus minutes, but it's worth it. You know, with all things that are important and valuable, you should put some time and energy into it. UM. But it's the test that's kind of like an m M p I for love. It tells you what kind of partner and may you are when it comes to love, what you attract and why, what you stay in too

long and why, and most importantly, who you deserve. And it has a really cool algorithm attached to it that matches you behind the scenes on the app with your perfect partner UM. While you also have a chance to kind of let your you know, your ego do the walking and choose based on you know, everything we typically do, looks and what's in common and interest and things like that,

and you sort of can choose for yourself. And it's something that has had and has the blessing of lots of celebrity endorsers, especially in the spiritual and world of psychology and relationships. Literally the world's best are in, you know, endorsing and supporting it. So I'm quite honored and humbled by that. And it's just here to really create not only a movement of love and healing, but to clean up the dating industry. It needs a lot of help,

um and to bring people something better. Just kind of finally, I was just really sick and tired of what's been out there, and I wanted to create something more for people. Well, and so this is the first app that I've ever seen that actually has a brick and mortar large type area.

It does as well. Yeah, so one of the things that I really paid attention to, you know, meeting clients all over the world, and regardless of what aids or economic background, they always said, well, literally don't know where to go and meet somebody who's truly single and incredible and doesn't have major issues and doesn't create and bring

more pain into my life. Everything is sort of exhausting and tiring, and whether it's online and or even out as the bars, it's just a very different world today than it was even even five or ten years ago. Things have really dramatically changed. So the large social club has yes a brick and mortar. We have a few

flagship locations and opportunities. The main one is in Minneapolis, where I live and have my headquarters, and it is it is truly like walking into a cool sort of organic lodge in Jackson Hole or Aspen where people can connect in its members only and everyone's been vetted against spiritually, psychologically, socially, and criminally um. And then we also have our pop ups that we've been doing with huge success. That we had a really amazing pop up a New York City

Fashion Week and it was I mean literally jumpacked. We had to turn people away, which was hard to turn people away, but really cool that they loved it so much and told their friends about it. And then we did another pop up experience during Sundance that was amazing, and then we just had one here with our grand opening in Minneapolis, and that again was a huge success.

So we are just literally trying to put the whole dating industry, dating services, matchmaking services, dating sites really at notice to say or unnoticed to say, listen, get your crap together, offer something better to the singles. The hundred plus million singles that are out there, just even in our own country, that are trying to find one another. So we're really proud, um Caitlan. This actually sounds like

the Soho House for single people, which I love. I actually wanted to touch upon background and identity checks because last week when we're talking about it, I kind of looked at like, oh, you sound crazy, but I do, I mean a little bit. But when you do the background and identity check, what are you looking for exactly? Well, So it's it's a full I mean, it's heavy duty.

It's the real deal. There are a lot of come the needs out there that will say that they do a background check and they don't at all, or they'll say that they do and they literally do it just in your county, not across the all the counties in the country and even you know, across the pond. So this is a full blown background check that that has everything pop up from the mildest misdemeanor all the way up to felonies and and things that can be really frightening.

What it does is it it's you know, if it's a felony, period, you you are not accepted. If there's anything, if there's a misdemeanor, growth misdemeanor. If there's something that popped up, you will be red flagged. We have a team of people that are constantly watching the site from behind the scenes every day, and we reach out to these people and we say, hey, everybody deserves a second

chance in life. We all can make mistakes and screw up, um, but you know we this is what came up on your report and we need to know to protect you and to protect our other members, we need to know, Hey, what is this about? It? Is it fixed, is it healed? Have you learned from it? Have you grown? Have you grown up? What is this about? And where are you at in life? I mean, this sounds exactly like a

members only for dating pretty much. Question is if that's so, can we bring back the members only jacket for this specific social lode because I would join if that's the case. Oh, perfect, perfect. I know this is a pretty interesting concept because I mean, according to everything I've read about it, So everybody that gets accepted into this club is they can go on the app, they can do these meetups, go to the different pop ups, so it's like a small community for

all single people it is. And finally, finally, finally, it's very interesting, very interesting. Time. It was just time, Yeah, because what's out there is just it's really broken. It's working only for people almost based on luck. And you know, even though we know Zuckerberg is now saying he's getting into it, there's nothing very special sadly that that he's doing. Zuckerberg is getting into what he's getting into the whole Facebook. You know, Facebook is going into dating. Oh Facebook, Well

that was my yeah, that was my next question. So so, so I feel like social media nowadays is becoming like one the number one way to meet people. Um, you know yeah, Um so I'm thirty, someone my age are much dared still going on with the compliments. I love it. So someone my age a little bit older, would they

be signing up for this type of social club. Actually, the majority of the people right now are so they're really in their late twenties, thirties and then sort of into their sporties and then kind of sprinkling some of the baby boomers, which the baby boomers are also I would say probably the biggest generation right now out there in in online dating. But you know, the problem isn't

that we don't have access to each other. Clearly we do with Facebook, like you said, through social media that that's sort of already and directly become its own dating site. And but the problem is the lack of authenticity. And then the lack of authenticity comes from a brokenness within

ourselves that that's all it is. If we can't if we weren't confident, healthy enough within ourselves and our being and really honoring and loving ourselves our value, and we don't come with healthy egos, we're showing up as a bunch of bolth, and then we're bringing that into someone's life that really is genuinely looking for love, and so it continues to create pain and that's not okay. And and that's the mild part of the side that doesn't work.

And then you have the people that are you know, that are married posing as single because they've just gotten a bad fight with their wife or their husband, or they're on the verge of divorce, but they haven't truly filed, or they haven't moved out. And yet you have somebody who's really amazing, who is choosing to show up authentically single thing, Hey, I'm so ready for love and to get this right. And yet they're running into a bunch of scammers sadly that just scammed themselves to begin and

then you've got the criminals. So enough is enough is enough. It's a scary world there, and this is why background I'm just I'm paranoid just listening to that. I will say, they're so to get onto the batchelor, you have to go through a background even meet with like FBI agents. It was pretty scared. But amen, I mean so did I. You know, when I ended up getting you know here, I was selected to work with Oprah and do Love Town, and I thought, have got the whole thing in the bag.

This is awesome, this is so exciting. And then it was like, oh, and by the way, we're stripping down naked or so itself. Um, we're doing a triple background check on you, an FBI level and this and that, and even though I knew I had no skeletons. Yeah, I agree with with the whole bachelor thing. You are vulnerable. But amen, you know they want to make sure that what they're putting out there for their brand is authentic.

We need to do that. As one another. I have my fair share of juvenile arrests and I was worried about that coming up, which we can get we want to it did, of course it came up, but it wasn't. It was. They were just like minor misdemeanor and nothing significant, you know, our gain or not paying. Yes, it's but no have to be a scary world. So but you

you know, you are right. It is. It is, but we're changing that UM And I will tell you and because again everything, if I'm preaching authenticity, I have to be it myself. I have to walk my stuff. Um. You know, we are probably one of the only UM dating apps that is launching authentically and we're populating authentically. We don't have bots, we don't have paid people in back rooms pretending to be single to lure people on

there and to keep them going and paying. We literally are just doing it's they all pays with people going amen, hallelujah, thank you for designing and creating this. But at the same time, where is everyone? And I'm going, hey, you're the first to the party of amazing people coming to just stay. And so I will tell you for you know, even if any of your listeners that are that are listening and are thinking of joining, we had our base level that was thirty five dollars a month, and we thought, oh,

this is cheap for everything that we're offering. The podcasts are not the podcast. We do have a podcast as well, but see pop ups and all of those need opportunities. Um, but we've decided we're giving it to we're giving it for free. So literally now it's free. Is it free for hallelujah? Yeah? Oh yeah for the first year, for the first year. Literally, people that are wonderful, get on there, do it for free, fine love and do it under a year. So what's your So what's your success rate?

If you don't mind be asking? Well with the dating app for me personally, I mean both of you want to answer it. I mean, we know that you're you've been married for seventeen years and I just wanted to congratulate you on that. Oh well, thank you. Well you know, and I mean is that you know, as part of a love architect, and you know, not only do I heal lie, but I connect full me. So I had a very very successful career connecting real souls and love and have lots and lots of marriages and babies and

all of that. Um. But with the app, it's brand new, it's two months old in data, so we don't have any success stories. I'm just being straight, but we will because people are happy, they love it in the press of starting to you know, to catch on. That's cool. Can I ask you a question? So, as a matchmaker, what what did you did? You like? Often turn away clients potential clients, and so with this app that you released,

obviously you're doing your due diligence with the background checks, etcetera. UM, but it's a little bit more scalable and you want to be more inclusive with everything, but it's obviously you're you're less able to do that. But what I guess you're My question for you is like, what would it take for someone for you to turn them away as a matchmaker, like one on one instead of the app thing? Just just out of my own curiosity, yeah, and also

to answer both if you want me to, UM. But for me, you know, one of the things that I don't like about the matchmaking industry, and it's just you know, it's my own deal, UM, is that I think it lacks a ton of ethics and integrity. UM. And I think there's way too much of allowing the what we call um on our real rebuild test and part of

the onboarding of the of the dating app Um. But putting too many ego mates together, I think that keeps the corruption of real healthy love and families and relationships going. And I'm trying to get rid of that. So anytime a meal or female comes to me and says, hey, um, she needs to look like this. Her books need to be this big. She has to be twenty five years younger, and she has to be stunning, leg gorgeous, and oh, by the way, he has to have a minimum ten

million dollars cast in the bank. If they tell me that's what they have to have to have love, I want nothing to do with them. They can't save me enough money, you know. If they come to me and that's their reality and that's what they're attracted to. But first and foremost they're saying, I want a really good soul, I want a really good woman, I want a really good man. I want a really healthy relation and ship. I'll want to be happy. I want a relationship that

really does last the rest of our life. Then amen, they can have the rest of the candy and the cherries and the frost thing. Um. But it has to be pure at heart first. So I'm just not into that ego crap. It's just to create too much pain and keeps the self stuck. Um, have you ever seen the movie Hitch Yeah, movie right, I have a question for you. So what you just said kind of makes me think of that one time where Will Smith is talking to that guy. I was thinking the exact same things.

He's like the guy that the date doctor as he's called, is saying. He's talking to him, He's like, all I want to do is get in there, like sleep with her and get out and like, you know, move on to the next thing. And he's like, I don't do that. Like what I do is build relationships, build soul mates. One question for you is in that same movie, even Mendez looks down at Will Smith for being a date doctor. But I was thinking about it the other day and

it's like, all he's doing is helping these people find love. Right. Well, she's only looking down upon him in the movie because she thinks that he's helping guys hook up with girls. She thinks that he's helping guys like that guy. It was just a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding and then she realizes that she's helping um Kevin uh Kevin James at the end, and then she falls in love and

happily ever after. Anyway, moving on, Maybe it's just the long thing as I've seen the movie and I didn't was able to piece that. Sorry, I'm like a walking pop culture reference. It's pretty time. No, no, no, but that's correct. Um, But with the you know, with the

dating app and the real reveal. So with the six questions and at the end of the questionnaire, at the end of the test, it tells you if you are a life mate, which is really what we all need to aspire to be and we all want in the end, or your soul mate, which is what the majority of us are. And that's okay, but it's not where Yeah, well yeah, I'll tell you in a second and then you know, or you're an ego mate, so and then we match you based on that. Okay, So how do

I answer that? The difference between a lifeman and the soul mate. So here's the deal. The reason we always say we oh my god, I want my soulmate, I need my soulmate. All I just met my soulmates. That's when all of Our energy are juices are excitement, and our pain, our drama are trauma are triggers energy. Energy, energy is all mess. It's just all in there. It's all good and bad, right, So the person we meet triggers all of our stuff inside of us in a

way that's meant to be a teacher. But the problem is is that because most of us, unfortunately did not come from a really balanced, grounded, healthy mother father mother father loving relationships. Um, a lot of us were raised with different levels of shame and criticism and just drunk or you know, uh it could be you know, addictions. Whatever it is, no one's fault, it's just different ways of experiencing, masking and coping with pain and undealt stuff.

We end up kind of bringing that into life, and we look for through our partner healing knowingly and unknowingly healing and the feeling of being loved and being okay and being accepted. And then when it's romantically connected in and everything is going and it's the best sext of our life, for the worst sights of our life or the toxicity is there, we haven't learned enough to be able to sit back, most of us and go Okay, cool, this is actually a teacher. They're not cool. Excuse me.

They're not screwed up and I'm not screwed up. We're just both human acting out our stuff. And wow, we could actually so down for a moment instead of constantly fighting and reacting, we could actually look at each other as a teacher, shake hands, grow through this and decide if we want to become life made and grow up or actually still say hands look at each other with U go wow. Thank you for the best sex I've ever had. Thank you for the best triggers I've ever

had in their most intense sites I've ever had. But you know what, I'm going to thank it, thank you, leave it there, and now move on towards the person I'm meant to be with. Well, I think people would just don't do that. I think a lot of people wouldn't describe that particular person as their soul mate, but it is. Why would you say it's there so mate just for the simple fact that you've never been Because I wouldn't describe somebody soul mate just based out of passion,

which sounds like what you were just describing most too. Yeah, because still is that again? The still is where we're the most alive, right, but we're really it isn't that energetic feeling of what we're experiencing. And so even based on what you just said, that says a lot about you and how you probably would scale on the test, that was a very healthy wise higher brain response, Well

thank you, I mean seriously so um. But there are people that will go, oh my gosh, no, no, no, I need to feel alive constantly in the way they feel alive is based on how they are triggered, based on how healthy they are emotionally and spiritually. But most people, I feel like, try to blend the two, like they want to feel most alive with the person that they want to spend the rest of the life with. So is in some cases is it? Well, one thing is? In some cases, isn't a life partner in a soul

made the same person? Or is it? But no, mostly they're not, but they sure can be. And my goal is to teach people, especially through this app how to be and how to have it. So when I say, and it's said since the beginning of this interview, I want every want to have what they deserve. That's that's like my my life mission is to teach people. So and then there are two levels of still made in transit one and two when it is healthier. One is

more toxic, but it's okay, they're still learning. And then you have the eagle mates that are truly your social paths, your psychopaths, your narco clinical narcissists. You're people that were born that way genetically or something happened during you know, um the whole destination. Or there's people that just came with a lot of wounds and abuse and trauma. It really really damage their brains, truly damage their brains, and

they have a real hard time. Yet what I found it so cool is that even what those people and it's about ten I've found of our population, or at that level, if they find one another, they actually can sometimes experience a little bit of a feeling of real love for just a moment enough to get them through.

And who is this ego mate ego meets find each other then associate path So there really is, you know, a top for every pot, and I just want everyone to find the right top because everyone deserves love at

the end of the day. Okay, jailing question for you, So now that you're in this dating apps space, what do you say in response to the people that say that dating apps aren't for love and that men are just looking for a hook up and women are just looking for a confidence boost, Like, how would you respond to that? There's truth to that, to that, also, there are men that are just looking for hook ups, they're women that are just looking for hook ups, and there

are women and men that both need confident boots. You know. It's just but the majority of people that I found, even many that say am just there for hook up really deep inside and when I've asked them that if the right one for you came along, the one that could you know, if you allow them to take your heart, if you wanted them to take your heart and vice versa, and to experience the depths of you and really experienced

life together, is that what you'd want? And honestly, the majorities say my word, yes, hollowly to bring them now. Al that's fair, that's a great response. Yeah, I would, I would agree that I think it just takes the right person to come along. Um, all right, well, Caitlin, thank you so much for giving us a call and telling us a little bit more about the lodge it sounds awesome. If we're ever in Minneapolis, maybe we'll swing by and say hi, pop up store out here in

l A. You know that's a good part. You know this year's Bachelorrette is from Minnesota, so you get a celebrity influence. Yeah, we're exciting. Yeah. If people are single and they want to join and tell him to the Lodge Club dot com and sign up, they can get it. It's a nappun and where can where can they find your podcast? We were just getting ready to watch it again to Love Happy our podcast show. We'll tune in. If you ever want to have us as a guest,

please we'll be with us now. That'd be awesome, right you guys, Well, thank you so much. Having addressed, thank you so much, many continued blessing, all right, you too. Well. She's very sweet, very sweet, very sweet. It's a very interesting concept. I like her positive outlook on you know, finding your soul? Well, what was it? So made her life mate? She said a lot of things. I was interesting.

She made a lot of generalizations though, which was interesting about the idea of being raised in not a good setting. It just seemed like she really kind of blanketed everybody with that, but like, well, you know, most people just raise up with a bad family home. At the end of the day, there is that statistically run well. But I think that that's definitely true. I think it can be sure, of course, But it was just interesting that she just kind of like was a put a blanket

over it. And then the idea of like finding um like redemption in the person that you're looking for in terms of like a romantic love, which is interesting to me. She was kind of going into detail about that. I think at the end of the day, comes down to timing. If you're in a position where you know what you want and you find that person that knows what they want as well, and it matches up, then it'll work out. Well.

Of course, life is about timing, no, but I mean like just no just meeting someone that like you're you know. I mean I've gone on dates with people where I'm like, oh my god, I know exactly what I want, but the person that I was dating doesn't know what they want and it just it just doesn't match up. Or think if you find someone that you have a really very strong connection with, but just the timing in your life is not correct. And then you feel like you

can talk all that. Yeah, what I'm saying is, I mean I wanted to leave in when you were talking about all right for the next segment. I'm sure you guys have seen definitely maybe with Ryan Reynolds right, thought about who it's about when. So it's not who you're with that you find for the rest of your life. It's when you're with someone at the point in your life when you become ready for that relationship that makes that person the person that you spend the rest of

your life with that point, yes, I remember that point. Yes, all right, though you're gonna articulate, well, that's all. It's not who it's when, And that's the point that the girl that he dates makes. And it's kind of like, yeah, it's true. You could meet your soul mate when you're nineteen not ready for it, or you could be dating someone when you're twenty nine and realize that's when you want to start being serious about relationship and that person

becomes your forever person. But doesn't it make you feel like you're almost settling to all right? Good, that's I'm just I'm playing Devil's advocates what I do. But It's interesting because even when she was talking about your soulmate in your life mate, a lot of people just equate that too. Well, that should be the same person, because the person I feel most alive with is the person I want to spend the rest of my life. I

didn't understand her soul mate. I think for her, her the idea of her soulmate is far more passionate, where like she even talks about like the best sex you've ever had or alive and like even the worst fights you've ever had, but also the most love you've ever felt, like the most you've ever felt alive. And so I think that's what she equates to being a soul mate. But for me, those people, I'm not sure if I

would describe those particular people as my soul mates. Okay, well, I want to throw this question out to you guys. What is your ideal relationships slash quality in a life mate? What what would you be looking for? I mean, that's such a dean after you, that's such a big question.

Path I don't know. Um Like, it's humor, im it's family important, of course, but it's also I think difficult to really put a label on it or try to describe it with words, because there's have you ever been around people where it's just this undeniable magnetic force between you two, where it's just like I don't want to leave you. I don't like. Yes, I look for humor, and I look for kindness, and I look for sweetness, but then I also look for this this just thing,

this thing that I can't describe. But for some reason, I miss you when I'm not with you, and for some reason, I don't ever want to leave you, And like it's like I don't it's not like I don't laugh harder other people's jokes. And what I'm saying is it's not like I don't laugh at harder at other people's jokes, or like it's not like there's other people in my life that aren't kind to my family and friends.

But for some reason, this particular person is just somebody that I I'm I'm addicted to, if that makes any sense for me. That's kind of like something I look for. And you want to know what else that you want to know what they should look for from you? In my personal opinion, go on Jared specifically, Yeah, we'll just anyone. I think that's one significant other looking to another for something like that they could possibly use every season. It's like maybe a nice little fab fit fun box. OK, yes,

have you guys heard about these fait fun? Actually do love my fait fun. Everyone loves the fait fun. I didn't know where you were going. You were staring at me so nervous. Why is he smiling? I'm trying to wet for a while, you were in perfect of window. We'll jump into the segment about Jared's magnetism and in a second, but first I feel like we had to talk about the fat fit fun, of course, because I'm

addicted to fat fit fun and we all are. I think I wonder if we were to assign fab fit fun to us three, which one I would definitely be fun. I'd be fun, now you would be fun foul. I'm not fit, You're you're fit, you're fitter. I think we're all pretty fit. I think, but you're I can't describe myself as fabulous. So you're fat, you are fababous. You

know what? You guys are nothing. I'm just gonna be all three fat fit, and I think actually it should be fab fit fun, like the way we're sitting fun well, anyways, you guys have all heard about Papit Fun before as well. It's no tell us more description box. Well, you guys have, of course the listeners here. It's a seasonal subscription box for you discover new products for life well lived. Basically what they do is um not provide any sample products.

They're full size of everything that they put in the box. It's fashion, beauty, home, fitness, wellness, all that kind of stuff delivered four times a year for just fifty dollars a season. Well, I guess we're keeping it under the fifth threshold, right, um, and you get one box what is every three months for every season? So false season let's say no summer seasons coming up. Obviously it's almost summer.

You lose track of time here in l A. I will like it could be November, or it could be marched, or it could be made right. Well, what I love about the box, um, so many of the products individually are valued more than the entire box itself. Like there's in this subscription box for summer, there's a four year Luna Fufo face scrub, and that alone, I think I checked on the Sappho website was worth I think I can't remember the exact price, but I remember thinking like,

oh my god, that's I'm serious. I actually did my research on that because I actually looked it up. You looked it up. And the cool thing is there's no samples of anything, products products, right. It really feels like Christmas every time I get my fat fit phone box at um at the door. What else is in there? There's the anti aging skincare device. There's the pure one marble ring dish that I love. I do I put my I have my grandmother's ring I wear all the time, and I wear I put that on my here one

marble ring dish. I don't even use that for rings. I just use it as a dish to hold random knickknacks that I collect, a little knick nacks. It's a nice little home to Core. It's a wonderful home to Core. Anyways, for the listeners out there, if you want to get your hands on one of these incredible fab fit fund boxes, specifically the Summer box, which again Jared Vanessa and I all love, uh, please go to fabfit fund dot com and get ten dollars off if you use code Dean.

I wonder when we're gonna change these codes to Dean. Vanessa, Jared's way too long. Just use your name, four letters d e A and Dean code ten dollars offun dot com. Here's a little excited today. Like Vanessa said, sometimes these single products are worth more than the entire box. One box every season, some incredible stuff. Check it out. I promise you won't be disappointed. Vanessa will literally personally refund your money if you do not approve of fun box. Um,

so check it out. Anyways, let's move out of those next segment, which I'm sure everyone is just dined. I'm so excited, kept secret excited. Dating facebook page, they're all very ready for this. Well you're to help I suck a dating facebook page? Is most of them are from the I Don't Get It podcast facebook page, and uh there's been out. I don't think it's been out. There is no What are we talking about? That is that's the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire Alex.

That does not look like you, Alex, like Alex Bordakov. Yeah, I'm picking Alex from the show, Alex from my show. Yeah, which season are you talking about? Joe jos Oh, No, I don't know Alex the Russian guy. Oh yeah, yeah. Anyways, Jared, is there something? Yeah, what's going on? Are you in a relationship with someone? This is way too epic. No, it's I'm in a relationship. Yeah, thanks guys, I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm not anymore. Literally, no idea you in a relationship?

Did you not know? That's so insane? Her name is Actually say that it feels good. I mean I've been saying it for a little while now, so I just literally had no idea you have his mind blowing. Actually had no idea until I walked in a couple of weeks ago and I saw you guys kiss on the lips, and I was like, yeah, no, that's pretty much the reaction everybody anytime we kiss our whole names. People are like, whoa, what is the fact that you guys weren't hiding it either? No,

we didn't want to hide it. I mean, I mean we God, it's such a long story. Well, why don't you guys ask questions and if you want, I'll just answer them instead of just rambling on. Well, I mean I've been asking you questions for like the last couple of weeks, which first of all, I do want to say, I love that you guys have like a shared custody thing going on with me. So last week Dean wasn't here, so Jared drove me home. So I was asking him

all his questions about his love life and everything. Anyway, Jared did mention, um, like this is it for him, Like this is he found his life mate? I think, um, all right, So obviously you know, actually and I have a pass from our two seasons to Paradise, and we've been pretty much best friends for a couple of years. Wait, how long have you known each other? I mean we met in Paradise season two, we've met We've known each other for almost three years. Holy moll, it's gonna be

three years next June. Because we met in Paradise three years ago. TII, So that was the first time you guys met in Paradise. So was the first time we met in Paradise. And then obviously it was a bit of a roller coaster relationship from then on. Are the people watching because like, obviously we know the stuff that happens that isn't aired, or they just like over make everything dramatic on TV? What really happened the first season of Paradise between you and Ashley. Well, I think it

was pretty much laid out out there. Um, I mean Ashley and I met each other. And also, let me say this, because it's very I've talked about it at length so many times over the past couple of months because you know, I think everybody important in my life and important in her life, uh, deserve to know what exactly has been happening and how it has come to be. And so um, Ashley and I did a video called

the Story of Us. Um. You can find it on YouTube where we pretty much articulate everything that happened, so we could just get everything out there, um, once and for all for everybody that because it's already up. Well, it came up today. But actually sent me the pre role whatever it is, and I said, I opened it, I was like, it's gonna be like a five minute long video. Minutes long. Well, there's no way I'm gonna

watch this. I don't blame Forty eight minutes later, because I rewinded a couple of rewound a couple of parts, I found myself watching the entire thing. I got emotional for a second. Jared was crying like a little baby actually obviously was it was very It's very emotional. I mean, actually has always been someone that's very important in my life. UM, somebody that I've always loved as just a human being.

And I've never shied away from that. Um. I remember last year we were at the airport and uh, like I was, we were leaving, and I was like, we just said like I love you, I love you, but we didn't say in a romantic way. It was like we just love the people that we are, you know, to each other anyway. And so, UM, just you know, describing over what happened over the past couple of years between both seasons of Paradise and everything in between and

then leading up to obviously Wintering Games and everything's happened since. Um, it's just a lot of it was very difficult. Um. I think I've just been a very closed all human being for a very long time, specifically with Ashley and

pretty much in my dating life in general. UM. And so I think, uh, there was a time where I realized that I could be making the biggest mistake of my life, which I've always kind of known, um, but never acted on because I've always been complacent and okay with living in maybe a life that is not my best life, but a life that I've found mediocre and

good enough. And then there came a time in a place where I either stepped up to the plate or I continued being my shell doff self, and I realized that, um, I need to do something and say something. And so that's kind of the gist of it. All right, that's it, No, we want to know more. I don't know. What do you guys want to know? What do you guys want to know? Okay, I'm dating Ashley and I are dating. We've been dating for Yeah. I was gonna say, how long have you been? I mean, I mean it's been

only a couple of months. Really, what's the sex? Like? Oh my god, dude, I'm not answering that anything. That's what I want to know. I'm not answer to the right. You should know better than that. I like you. I'm not sitting next to you because I would slap you. Come on, man, it's already like obviously that's been a you know, a topic over the past few years for Ashley. So I'm not going to really, all right, we got you, we got you, we got you. Vanessa one of the

questions do you have for Jared? Here, are you guys living together? No? No, no, no, no, we're not living together. I mean, listen, the reason Ashley and I know are Oh god, it's like difficult. Um, so listen for me finish that sentence Ashley, and you know, well, I know I don't want to speak for Ashley, but like obviously we've talked about it, and we see this as you know it for us, so to speak, and like a life partner, love, marriage, kids, happy. I love every time

you say that. It be so happy. I think especially as soon as we started, as soon as we crossed that boundary between friendship and relationship boyfriend girlfriend, we knew that if we were going to date, after everything that's happened between the two of us and everything that we've gone through and the love that we have for each other, they're not even just I don't mean romantic love. I also mean just the love that you have for another

human being. That we knew that if we crossed that line, that we're not going to just date to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We're gonna date to hopefully progress into something more. Okay, So I have a question for you. So you've been friends for I would say, what the last three years? Okay? And do you feel like your relationship is at a point it's at the point of where it is right now because you're able to have that solid friendship and foundation.

We talk a little bit about that on the Story of Us, about how it's interesting to think that if we left as a couple, say Bachelor Paradise season two, if we'd still be dating today, Because I go back and forth whether we would, because I think we do have a very she says, yes, you say maybe not because the only reason I say maybe not, I say I would say yes if you put a gun to my head, I would say, I think we'd still be dating.

But we have gone through so many obstacles over the course of our you know, relationship, over the past for years, and it's been our friendship that has become those and I think that we've while we're both similar to the same people we were three years ago, we're also different and we've also been able to grow and we've also we've grown together, but we've also been able to grow

as individuals because we've been friends. And I'm curious to think that if we went through those we went through similar obstacles together as a couple, if we would have been able to overcome them as boyfriend girlfriend instead of really close friends. Well, and to that point that you made it just before that last thing that you touched on, you said that you're in this relationship because you see it being a long term thing. And I remember I watched, like I said, I watched that this is us. I'm

in this relationship because I love Ashley. Can again of course that I love Ashley, but I want to specify that, like, I don't want to make it seem like, oh, well, I'm in this relationship because it just feels time and it feels right now. I'm in this relationship because I love Actually more than any anything. I was gonna say,

you made a good point yesterday or not yesterday. You made a good point in that uh the story of us where you said, I don't want to enter into relationship if even two percent of me isn't into the relationship because you want to and once you enter into it, you wanted to be all or nothing kind of thing. Well, I was always scared to enter into relationship with Actually because I was always scared of losing her as a friend.

And I always thought specifically like in between Bachelor in Paradise season two and season three, because there was like a little bit more than friendship. We're like kind of not dating, but there was more than friendship feelings and

connections there. And so I remember always being torn during that time of how you know, always being one foot in and I talked about the story of us, and I always thought that it was so unfair for me to only have one foot into the relationship and how that made me feel like I was leading her on. So it's better for me to say, listen, it's best if we're just friends, because I don't want this constant flip flopping or back and forth, because it's unfair to

you and it's unfair to me. And it's just better if we just become friends. And that's what we did. And and there was some tribal you know, there was some tough tough time specifically obviously through Paradise three were um we went through a lot and um, you know, three or two parties three. I think, uh, yeah, that was probably you know, really, I think I think that just God, that season really made me um with I'm confused,

is this your third time on Parady. It was my second season, both our second season on Paradise technically Batch on Paradise season three. Oh okay, but you're okay go. Yeah. It was just tough and I never knew if I was doing the right thing. And I think it was kind of it's gonna sounds so stupid. Um, I was a little traumatized from it. That's not stupid at all. I totally relate to that, and a lot of us could. And I think I just kind of went into a

very mean traumatized because of the experience. Yeah, because I think I was always scared that what I was doing, I don't know if that was the right thing to do. Um on the show, on the show, after the show, Before the show, I was always just questioning myself, questioning my feelings, questioning where my head was at. Um, the right thing to do for yourself or right think to do? Just in general, what do you both for both Ashley,

for both myself? Um, because I was always telling Ashley that it's better for friends, and I truly believe that at the time, But there's always just this more there was, there was more to us than that, And I don't know it's just and so it's just hard. It's it's it's hard to I don't know. I think it's already

even talking about I think I think it's just. I think, honestly, it just I kind of became a shelled up person after that, and I think I was always filled up with so much shame from it because because I I I knew, I don't know. But here's the thing that here's my thing with all of this is that you

can't really look back. Of course, you can look back and be like, dang, that sucks that that happened, and we both went through that, and it's like we both felt horrible during it, But at the same time, it's like you're here now in the relationship course that you're loved with and you want to spend the rest of your life with. So that's like at the end of the day, like you didn't really you know, you're you're still in the spot that you both want to be in.

That's beautiful and wonderful and we're all incredibly happening for you. So it's hard to look back and be like that went wrong horribly, But I at the same time, like you could be like that was a learning experience, blah blah blah, but it also led you to the point that you are today. It probably didn't make sense while it was happening, but it only led to this point

because of Ashley. And that's something that I will never forget for the rest of my life and something that I'm so appreciative for and grateful for, because there could have been a time where h Ashley told me to you know, I'm fine, I'm fine, Thank you. I appreciate it. And I know we're hugging, we're hugging. I'm fine. I just now you're tearing up. I know, it's just you know I'm tearing up. No, don't tear off. I'm fine.

I just I think here's the thing, Like they always say, the toughest thing in life is to forgive yourself, and so I think for a while I had a difficult time doing that, and because of that, I had an even more difficult time expressing my feelings and like doing the things I want. And so obviously there came a moment recently that I had to let it out. Jared uh, there was a moment recently where I had to either step up and do something or continue not. And uh,

you know, I did something this is beautiful. Can we go over the something that happened? You know, just either making decisions based out of love and fear. And I think for a very long time I was making a lot of decisions based out of fear. And I think recently, for the first time, I made a decision that wasn't based out of fear. I knew what I had I mean, I talked about it on the Story of Us, but I knew what I had to do, and I was

scared to do it. But I put my insecurities in doubt to the side and and I went for it. And it's the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. Happy for you, buddy. And I think this is back to the conversation we're having earlier about timing. At that point, maybe a couple of years ago, or a couple of months ago, or last year, when whenever it was you weren't maybe emotionally or mentally ready to dive into something that you knew could have been this beautiful. Yeah,

I agree. I also think I don't listen, I don't advocate my own personality. There's nobody that hates myself more

than me. What I'm saying is some kinds I need a fire lit under my ass because I'm a procrastinator and unless like I am forced, like not forced, but like unless there is a decisive moment in my life where no, no, no, no, this had nothing to do with Actually, this was all just festering on my brain for a very long time and just weighing on my heart for a very long time, and I never did anything about it because actually it was always there were

was just friends. We would talk almost every day. You know, we're best friends for so long, and um, and it makes me there's there's a part of me that makes me um now like gods, So it's yeah, it's just I think for a very long time this was just weighing in my heart and I never did and said anything because when I was scared too too, I felt a lot of shame. And then three we were always just so close, you know, I think that's what that's what's so nice is you guys have that solid friendship.

So I'm you probably felt a lot more comfortable explaining all these things to her. No, it made me feel more uncomfortable, did it. Yeah, Because it's like, Okay, now, this is the worst timing in the history of the world for me to say anything. But if I don't, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life. And I know I've had ample opportunity and ample time to say something. I know I haven't because I've been scared,

and I'm tired of being scared. But you were scared to say something because of the timing of it, but not absolutely because she did not. She deserves to be the happiest person alive. And I was scared that, um she found out with someone else. But now here we are. But here we are. I'm really I love Ashley, and I mean getting to know you, You're such a great person, and I know and I totally get it. We are worth critic So I I empathize with that because I

understand that. But to to kind of get the pressure, not the pressure, but the heat off of you, to to put this on the listeners and what kind of advice would you have for someone that might be in a similar position that you were in, or maybe that Ashley was in, that you could use, you know, your experience to help them out in any sort of way, maybe like like a friendship dynamic that one person wants more, maybe both people want more, but they're kind of unsure

what to do next. I feel like maybe it's like never too late. Oh I would I've yeah one, it's never too late. Um, don't be if, um don't he there's We talked about this on the podcast a lot. But don't make decisions based out of fear and then mask them as practicality, because that's something that I think I've always been doing in my life is I've always made excuses, well it's because of this, or it's because

of that. When an actuality, it's just because I'm scared, And don't do that, you know, go after what you want, don't be afraid, because it's just it seems like fear is always blocking you. It always plays into your life, and it's always that factor that just stops you from having the potential life that you could have, the happiest life you could have. So I think rejection is a

scary thing. Rejection is a scary thing anything. Relationships work, and it's it's just it's it's the vulnerability and also it's the dependency. And I forgot about that, you know now being in a relationship. I've forgotten about how much you depend on the other person. And that's a scary thing to dive into, to be like a lot. You know, my happiness comes within, it within, But because I care and love for you so much, I depend on you a lot, a lot more than I ever have. And

that's a scary thing, it really is. And I'm glad that you brought that up because I was thinking about it yesterday at the day before and I'm like, why is it so as I said, you know, I am dating someone, is it serious? I mean it's because do I say, like we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I wouldn't put it to that extent. I really care about this person. But I'm also I think at a point where I don't want to become dependent on anyone emotionally, you know.

And I think it's I don't know if it's because I'm you know, I'm gonna start crying, but I've been. We're all just crying in here now. It's parent competting both of them. Um. I think it comes from a fear of like getting hurt. Yeah, it's a fear, it absolutely is. It's it's a fear of um not being good enough. I think that's the worst fear in the world.

Are not the worst, I don't want to but in terms of dating, yeah, it's there's nothing worse than feeling like you're not good enough, whether it be for someone else, whether it be for job or life in general. Um. In the getting hurt thing too, it's if you put your faith in something that's not you, you're out of control of it, which allows which opens up the opportunity for you to get hurt exactly, you're unable to control.

And and even like in my experience with Ashley, We've been friends for so long, and there's nobody I tell her. I've told this for years. There's nobody I love hanging out more with than Ashley. Like every time I came out to Ali, I stayed at her house, not because it was a place to crash, because I wanted to hang out with Ashley. And now we've opened up this whole other side of our relationship ever since we started dating,

and it has just been incredible. Um, because I thought I loved her before and now I've been exposed to a type of love that I've never felt before. So would you say you keep saying you love as this was the first time here in love with someone. No, no, no no, I've been in love once before a while ago. I was in a long time relationship. Um, and she's She's an incredible human being, and we had such a loving relationship, but it was just different than what I

have with Ashley. Um, but I am oh. Yeah, especially because you and actually have such a history together, it makes it It makes this moment that much more magical and that much it gives people hope that it could happen, it will happen. So there's fear within yourself to be rejected. Is there any fear with like the publicness of anything like that, because obviously we've all been in public ish relationships, some more so than others, some more serious than others,

whatever it is. But obviously you and Ashley would have a very public relationship if that's the case. Yeah, I've always been intimidated with that because you know Ashley. I mean, I've I'm obviously I'm I'm in the public eye, but not nearly as much as Ashley is. You know, she's very transparent, which is one of her best qualities. Um. But I knew that if we started dating that my life would become a lot more transparent as well, which

is scary. UM so you UM, I think that it is especially hard in this world when you are especially you know, you have a podcast and you're on a TV show it was all about love and everyone wants to know who you're dating and what your love life is. Like what kind of advice would you give to people to um, I guess have that to still have that privacy and still keep that romance alive without having it.

Um there there should be moments in your life that are meant for just you and whoever is in that room with you, Like, for example, you do not have to record every second of your life, because I think there's something to be said. Like there was a moment um I actually gonna talk about on the podcast, but like where we trick her parents and the things that we we got engaged, like uh yeah, I was really yeah, I forget it was I forget. We just like I

was hanging out with our parents. We wanted to trick them because we were bored. And then anyway, Lauren, her sister,

is supposed to record it. She didn't. But long story short, like afterwards were like we should have that, like camera, we should have had that and then it was like, no, there's something to be said about the only people that can relive that moment is us, and now for the rest of our lives, we have to tell that story instead of being like, look what we did and just show your phone like, instead we have to be like, well, we were sitting in the living room, we're having dinner,

and then we thought, up, okay, Jared, just go off and start saying something. So, um, I think that's one way to do it and just have moments for yourself. Um. But I think, honestly, to keep the romance alive, Granted, I've only been in a relationship for you know, a couple of months here, so it's not like, you know,

seventeen years. But I think one thing you have to actively like I can already feel comfortability level with Ashley, Like we've been dating for ten years, and so I find myself sometimes being like no, no, no no, no, make sure you know you like be like hey you look great today, or like just kiss her hand or something like that. Yeah, I can't keep my hands off her. So what's what's on the horizon for what's the select couple named Joshulely Uh Joshually, Yeah, that was that was

that was labeled back in the first season of Paradise. God, we're bringing that back. It's so funny, j astually. Actually, what's what's next for Joshley. Well, I'm gonna be in Los Angeles because, uh again, I knew that if I was going to cross that threshold, I'd be here in l A for the foreseeable futures. So we'll see. I mean, we're you know, Ashley and I are together, We're madly in love. We're very very very happy, um, And so I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to see what comes.

But for right now, I think it's been such a roller coaster of a ride between Ashal and myself, which is why we wanted to really kind of just date for a while and have a very low key relationship and work on each other, um before we we even started talking about it in the public. Um. And so I think for us it's just more so dating and being boyfriend girlfriend and continuing doing exactly what we've been doing, which is um, you know, falling, falling more and one

love every day. As all of us in this room right now are your faithful Instagram followers. Are we gonna be able to see you guys being cute together on Instagram constantly? Now, oh, of course she's you know, she's already passed to me about posting stuff. Yeah, of course we have. So there's no picture of you up yet. Dean took a wonderful picture a couple of weeks ago, and so this is the first time I've heard about the relationship he may have. He was like, what are

you guys doing. I'll take a good picture of you guys friends kiss um, Well, is that going to be your guys announcement picture? Because it totally should be. Are you gonna get the photo cred? I'm not gonna care about photograd I just want to know that I was part of that moment. Ah. Yeah, it will make sure to three or something. I don't want to be tagged. I just wanted to be my picture that you get to post it. No, no, no, you guys, I'm going

to post it obviously as well. Well maybe not, I don't know, um, but it just is it would be cool to know that when you guys announce it via picture, I was the one that took it. I don't need photo cred or tagging or anything that well, the picture I'm going to post later is not the pictures. Well, maybe I can talk you into it. Maybe, I am.

I'm sure everyone here we're very happy for you. Thank you know, I'm You're like, you're just I am, and you know what, And obviously because of you know, the relationship, IM in and then so happy. But I also think I think one of the best things that has come from the timing of all of this is that not a day will go by that I don't feel appreciate. I I don't appreciate the fact that I'm with Ashley, you know, because of everything that's happened, of everything that's happened,

like they could have easily gone. And so I think I think that's something that I'm always going to be grateful for the fact that I will never take for granted what she means to me. Hey, and if you guys ever go through a rough patch, if you ever start, which I'm sure it's going to happen, like what you could do is just come back, listen to this episode and be like, wow, I should be grateful for the things that I have exactly said about anything trivial or

anything like that. Um, have you got Are you guys gonna be like going on dates, going to dinner all that kind of stuff. Oh yeah, we're going on a double day later with there's a strman boyfriend. Are you guys, Are you guys going to Lunar Grill? Yeah, we might be.

You know about Luna Grill, right of course. Well, first of all, in honor of national military appreciation with the Luna Ill has debuted the Warrior Rap And actually what's funny is Vanessa and I both are decked out in full camel for this Lunar Grill spot right, I wasn't on the email chain. Um, so basically what they're doing they're made with euros. I'm not mispronouncing that, am Now you got it? Okay, made with gyros, simply spicy yogurt, sauceped a tomato and let us on a choice of

multigrane lavash or peta lavash. I think I'm saying that right. And one dollar from each Warrior Rep sold during this month and May will benefit two amazing veterans organizations, both the Hope for the Warriors and the Warrior Foundation Freedom Station. They have forty five locations in all southern California, Dallas, Fort Worth, UM, and they offer some wholesome, fresh to order Mediterranean cuisine in a contemporary setting. I've actually been

there quite a few times and I love it. Mediterranean food is one of my favorites. So if you want to get in on the National Military Appreciation Month action, visit Lunar Grill dot com and follow at Lunar Grill on social media for updates. Their food is delicious, it's healthy, it's for good cause obviously. We love supporting the veterans and the military. UM. So check it out Luna Grill

dot com and follow Luna Grill on social media. It's just at l u n A g r. I l l eat some delicious pieda do some good stuff for everyone around you. Check it out. Boom that really good. UM. Let's get to some emails or not. We gotta wrap. Sorry, we're gonna wrap. You know, we appreciate the emails. I wanted to bring this one back. We brought this one

back from last week. Okay, well that's the question. I mean, let's do want to we want to question Dean whether or not you're really single, which is what you said, Like we can address that. I saw one of those emails of that Jared's been so open today Dean. Katie wants to know. She says, I saw a picture on Facebook about your you and Christina at stagecoach. Explain it please, Well it's two eighteen. I mean photoshop and photo editing. It's crazy technology, I'm telling you, of course, of course

I'm kidding. Um No, I mean I saw Christina at stage coach. That's about the long and short of it. Were we saw each other. We watched Garth Brooks for a little bit. I als would like to say as a Bachelor alum, Venessa can attest this to like a lot of the people from the franchise, very like everybody's at Cotchella Arabs a stagecoach, so like everybody's there from the bas weekend. Oh I know you are not. So to address Katie's point, yes, I saw Christina a stage coach.

But yes, I also I am really single as single ath Yeah. Um. There was this uh bar stool podcast Hello ben um food right the best. They have a segment that they do every week, um and I thought it was pretty funny and it's a potential we could possibly introduce it to this podcast where if you go onto the podcast store, leave us a five star review, but roast the crap out of us in the commun then we could potentially read your review on the air next week. So leave us up. It's like our version

of mean tweets exactly. So leave us a five star review, roast us, and we'll potentially read the on the next steps. Will take it just I mean, it seems like at all, but it has to be five stars. That's the thing anyways, big thing. Oh wait, actually no, this is m Vanessa's outreuss and she did the intro today. Don't you do it? You do it all right? All right? Well that was fast. Well big thank you to Klin Rosenberg. Be sure check out the Lodge Social Club dot com. It sounds like

a pretty cool thing. They have pop ups all over the place. Um, they had one in New York, in l A and all that kind of stuff. Um, thank you for listening. Jared would love to answer any questions you have about Joshually you have any questions, let's let's keep the focus of that this week the next five weeks, be sure to email us at I suck a Dating at iHeartMedia dot com. Like Jared just said he'd love to answer any questions of course, like I'm not gonna continue.

It's great that. Uh. I guess so Jared's in a relationship now one of three, two more to go. Yeah, I guess I don't suck too bad. AG I'm getting graduate. Can you only see the autra for us? I'm what do we say? Listening to this week's episode of Help, I Suck at Dating? Hopefully next week I will suck lesson we all will less? I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts