#29 From Matchmaker to Marriage

two of my very close friends. We'll get to that a little bit later, but very first, we have an elite matchmaker. We've had some matchmakers on before, but never a proclaimed elite matchmaker, which is exciting. Uh. She goes by the name Timmy Pickle and I think she's on the phone right now, Timmy, are you there all right? Thank you so much for calling and so so for the listeners out there. Tammy is the VP from Elite Connections and Tammy, do you mind just telling us a

little bit more about you. I I could give the rundown, but I'm sure that you can say it a little bit better than than we can. Yeah. So we have a massmaking agency my mom started almost twenty five years ago. And meet everyone, screen everyone whore They are who they say they are. Run background searches on all of our clients and we just try to make the best matches

for them. We don't do any kind of blind dating, so our clients are always seeing each other's information of proving to meet each other, and it's real private and we just send select members to each other. We don't have a database where anyone would be so privacy or concerned. They're coming to us, you know, they're looking for higher caliber professionals and serious about finding the right person settling down that type of person that's coming to us. Well,

so tell us about that. And just so you know you're joined here with me, Jared and Vanessa. Hi, Dammy, Hi, Hi everybody. Thanks for having me. Yeah, of course, of course. So so tell us a little bit more about what makes I guess the the eliteness of the matchmaking that you're working with. So, you know, we we do work for more of a professional somebody that wants to find

the right person. They want us to do all that screening for them, so they don't want to kind of go the online route, or maybe they did and it didn't work for them, and they just want to meet a better quality individual. That we've met in screen and we know who they are and they're not being deceitful or lying about what they're looking for or who they are. Um. You know so many online sites and you can be

anyone you want to be. You could be married, you could be lying about what you do or where you live or anything about yourself. So that you know there are people that are coming to us, they do tend to be more serious. They are investing in a matchmaker and they really want us to do the vetting and screening for them. So there's no like requirement for an income bracket or something like that that would require them to meet a certain threshold in order to be working

with you. I guess that's not necessarily UM, but you know they are investing in a company with us. They are investing a certain amount of money, and you know we don't work for free, so you know they are investing in us searching and recruiting and finding them appropriate matches. So then you know fees depending on length of time, type of membership, where were searching, they would start at nine thousand and go up from there. So it's not everyone that wants to invest in a company like ours.

It's somebody that is making you know, typically you know six figures and up. Um. But we we you know, work for all different types of people. Can I ask you what the split of men and women using you as a services is it is? Do you typically see more men kind of needing your service more than the women? Uh? Pretty much even split fifty fifty. Um. Uh. You know, we have tens of thousands of clients in our database

and it's pretty split down the middle. So do you have numbers on your success rate like how many people will join it and then how many people end up in a relationship because of this company? Yeah, so we came up with eight out of ten which find someone that are in a committed relations six months or longer. It's really well, Tammy, have a question for you. I actually went online and I checked out the questionnaire, which I loved. It was simple or straight to the point.

I want to know what do you what do you feel makes two people compatible? Um? You know, interest, hobbies, UM. Some things are very important to someone. So if let's say, religion is very important, or they were wanting to have children is very important. Um. Or somebody you know grew up and they're very interested in the golf a lot, or they're interested in certain hobbies or sports. You know,

somebody that really into something. I think it's good for the other person to also be interested in at least to have something a few things in common, especially if something is kind of deal breaker, like a religious preference. You know, it's very important with their family and they want somebody the same. Um, somebody really wants to have kids that you know, those are very deal breaker situations

that are going to be important. But I think something to have something in common with someone that UM like sporty, active, they like going out, they like being outdoorsy and versus UM kind of homebody, you know, they don't like going out. You know, something has to be a good fit for

a good connection. When when someone new comes to you and they said that they're looking for a connection for a relationship, what are the first three things that they typically say that they're looking for in a significant other UM, guy or girl. Mmm, you know what? What somebody may look like a type that they have in their head UM aids parameter. I usually hear you know I want this to this. UM. Location is usually big, especially in

l A. People don't want to date too far. Topic is too hard, it's too it's hard enough to you know, be able to see the person within, you know, twenty minutes versus hours of getting together. Um, so those are probably big things that I would hear. So when you first meet somebody, do you when you hear these people's preferences, do you how like much do you take that into account?

Because obviously they're going to you for help because they're single, So how much do you take that into account versus Okay, this is what I think is best for you, right, So, um, you know, they are coming to us and they need to take our expertise. So if I have somebody in mind that might be a bit out of their age parameter or their location parameter, I will let them know I think this person is great. I've met them personally.

I think that you would be good fit for this reason and this reason, and you should be open minded meet them. See what happens. So they are hiring us, and you know I would want them to take, um, somebody that we had in mind for them and we thought it was going to be a good match. I would want them to meet them, but we also don't

want to force matches on anyone. We want both people to be excited, and that's why we're always going to show pictures and profiles, and we want both people to say yes, and they're interested and they're attracted and all of those things. And do you imagine one person with multiple people or is it one on one? Yeah? Just one on one. UM, see how it goes to that person and then we could work up something else after that.

But we really do like our clients to focus on that one person versus meeting to three people at once. You know, how can you really invest your time in getting to know that person if it's split between multiple people. And that's a good point too. I think the big thing with modern dating apps is no one really holds you accountable to date just one person. You kind of have free range to date however many people you want.

But if you work with a matchmaker such as yourself, you're only going to be introducing one person to to another person at a time, and not you know multiple people, which I think helps you focus on the relationship at hands. I agree, right, I mean, how can you get to know someone and invest a hund percent of your time if you're if you're seeing what else is out there and you're dating around and you're you know, meeting multiple people.

So I mean somebody that's pretty serious, I would say I would want to just focus on that one person and see what happens. But, um, app dating and so tricky because there's always somebody around the corner and you're always talking with someone getting attention from somebody. So it's a turkey world out there with all the app dating and online dating. So there's a lot of sparkly things out there. Um, So do you have any um I just had a quod question about is there a one

date minimum? Is there three date minimum? Like, say you match somebody with somebody, is there like, oh you have you have to hang out with them at least two times before you move on to another person. I mean, we always suggest if somebody is interested in a second date and you're both you know, interested, and maybe one was like I don't know, and then we'll come back and we always get feedback from both people and we can let them know, oh, she really liked you, she'd

love to see you again. So it kind of helps them, um make a decision if they want to go forward with it, because sometimes they may be like, well, she's just being polite. I don't know if she's interested, and maybe, you know, the sparks weren't flying, but we would if if at least one person is interested, we would let the other know. We think that you should focus on getting to know that person, because how well can you

get to know someone after an hour dinner date. So if somebody was interested, we say, give it another go. But you know, there are those times where like, no, I was not attracted. I We've had nothing in common. I don't want to do that person against and we wouldn't force We wouldn't force anything. Gotcha. I have a question for you, Tammy, So what advice do you have for a listener of this podcast that maybe isn't able to afford a professional matchmakers such as yourself, that still

wants obviously put themselves out there. Yeah, I would say, you know, do things out of the norm. Um. You know, if you're just kind of focused on work and you do the gym, then you you know, kind of go home. I would just say, try to find more things to go to to meet other people. Um, go to charity events, go to functions, go to sporting events, concerts, to you know, try to do get together with with friends and do different things where you're kind of getting out and into

the community and meeting people different ways. And you know, also just kind of always going out you're very very best. I mean, so many people they're they're you know, going out and yoga clothes, with their hair in u fun and and no makeup. You know, just always look your very very best because you never know when you could run into that person and the guys are pointing at me beautiful. No, I get it, you know. I like

to be comfortable as well. But you feel good when you look good and you've put yourself together and you've done your hair and makeup, and especially if you're single and you're out there, don't complain about never finding anybody, because it could be you know, anywhere. It could be at the grocery store. So just you know, always try to look your very best and you never know. I'll be honest, I'm the opposite. I always basically look my worst and it's exhausting. I did have a question about

the ages um when it comes to age. Do you feel like age is just a number and it you know, if there's an age gap, should women be dating older men? Should women be now dating younger men? What what's your take on that? Um? You know, I I love for people to be open minded with age, because you know, somebody has this eighth in the head. I don't want to date. Let's let's say a forty year old woman comes. I don't want to date over fifty. They have this

over fifties like tool old in their head. But so many people take such good care themselves nowadays, and they're so thin and active, and they they're healthy, and they eat well and they work out and so and and people age differently, So one fifth year old versus another, you might be attracted to one and not the other.

So being open minded is great, um, But also you know it is it is tricky because it's you know, um, you have this number in your head and you know, to some most women give us like an eight to ten year age wind window their age and older. Not many women want to date younger than them. Um. And the people that come to us is the same kind

of with men. They typically want to date you know, their age and eight or so years younger, depending and then um, you know, not many men want to date that much older, maybe a couple of years but for the most part, they're not wanting to date you know, much older than them. But that's kind of what I see.

I agree with that, that makes a lot of sense. Well, Tammy, do you have do you have like a website or Instagram maybe that we can plug real quick for the listeners if they want to reach out to you and maybe consult your services. Yeah, Lee connections um website is lead connections dot com um and if you have any information, you know, give us a call and or check us out on our website. Instagram is also lead Connections and the number would be eight nine two three zero zero.

There you go. If you're listening to this podcast and you're serious about getting matched up, check out Tammy. Check it out, Tammy. I said one more question before you go, why, just out of curiosity when you guys started the business, why did you go after people that are of a

higher bracket income? Just it's it's very interesting dynamic. It's not necessarily um that we only work for higher bracket income, but because we do charge for our services, and when we started twenty five years ago, our fees were much lower. But we have been around a very long time and we have a very large database in our really large matchmaking team, and we work hard for all our clients. So we do charge, um, you know, a bit for

our services. But we are working for somebody for six months or longer, of course, Yeah, it's definite an investment. It is an investment. But you know, for somebody that's really serious and committed to finding the right person and they don't want to stiff through a million different profiles online. They don't have the time or they would never go that route. They don't want to put themselves out there

like that. It just so happens that somebody that can afford nine thousand or up is typically making you know, six figures or more. I just didn't know if there's any like staff behind. Maybe there's more singles within that demographic than others. No, not necessarily. I mean we worked for teachers, we work for you know, celebrities and and billionaires, so I mean we we work for all different types

of people. Um, but but more so somebody that's really invested and maybe kind of tried the online route and didn't work for them, and they and they really are serious about finding somebody and they don't want to waste

their time. So what would you say to the people that would say that, uh, investing this much in finding your soul mate is probably not worth the money that they would pay in Wait, for example, like if somebody was like, I just it's just too much money for me to invest in trying to find a soul mate. You know, it's not for everyone. Not everyone wants to invest in this type of company, and that's perfectly fine.

So you know, maybe if they wanted to try the online route UM, but you know, yes, it's not for everyone. But we're pretty comfortable with other companies that have been around as long as we have and and we do work very hard for our clients. But yeah, it's not for everyone. No. I love how personalized it is. I really that's my favorite part of this entire is that you meet with them, talked to them, and really kind

of learn. And even on your website you say that you become friends with everybody that invested in this company, which I really enjoy. And it definitely is not only investment, but a friendship between UM the company and the individual. And that's why it's nice to know everyone and then try to uh put two people together that we think would be a good fit. Of course, you're not going to know until you sit down and there's a connection

and go from there. But it is it is nice to feel like we have a large network of friends and we just start trying to map our friends together. But we're not going to get upset if you don't like our friend, We'll just move on. Perfect, all right, Well, Tammy pickle ladies and a gentleman making the world a better place, one relationship at a time. Be sure to check her out at www dot Elite connections dot com on the websites, and then Tammy your email I think

is Tammy at Elite Connections dot com. Yeah, that's right. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for calling it and joining us and tell us a little bit more about what you do at Elite Connections. We really appreciate it. Thank you so much, Tammy. Have a good day. Yeah, nine's a lot. I can't get pass that number. I literally took off my your phones like what That's why I had to ask.

I was like, listen, this is not meant to be for the everyday person, Like nobody's gonna I mean, not a lot of people are gonna invest nine thousand dollars or than six months to try to find their soul mate. It seems also very artificial. Yeah, it's very business like, which is okay, like she's running a business and she's trying to find your soul mate. But having said that, I can get past the fact that it does feel very business like on a very emotional decision. Does it

feel business like? Because it's like, well, you have to invest and then we're gonna sit down and negotiate about what you like and when you don't like, and then when you go like, we're gonna match you up with one person at a time, and if you don't like that person, then we can move on. It's very just like um strategic. I don't I think it's like maybe if like, if you fit into that income bracket, then

that's the route that you would take. And there's other different matchmaking websites that you can go on that are a lot less. They're either free or cheaper, right. I don't think it's more. I don't think I didn't see it as a business. I'm not saying that as a bad thing. I think sometimes that's needed because, like like she said, when you go on in a dating app, like there is a lot of options right, there's not You're not focused, right, You're just kind of like swiping

through it. It's more casual than anything else where. This is very uh focused and uh you know, on the task at hand. I think for her demographic that she's working with matching as well, it probably fits in well because the people that she's working with are going to be those more business minded, focus on great people and they're like, all right, I spend eighty hours a week on my job. I would like to have a very

similar strategic approach to my relations right. And if you're investing nine thousand dollars, you know that they want to find a serious, committed relationship. So that's something that I I'm thirty years old now and like I said last podcast, yes I'm I'm dating someone. Yeah, who I am feeling good? Where are my jelly bean? I wanted to say. When I turned thirty, I had Nick and I had just broken up and I turned thirty and I was like, oh my god, I want kids, I want a family,

I want all that stuff. And then you start thinking and calculating, Okay, it's gonna take me x amount of time to find someone, and when I do find someone, it'll take me, You're to really get to know them, and then I want to have kids, you know, and then like, oh my god, by the time I want to have a family, I'll probably be like thirty five, thirty six. And then I started thinking, well, I've never

done any dating apps. Um, the only two apps I have our Instagram and Facebook, which people do end up meeting each other on those apps. But then I started thinking, Okay, well, what if I should be open to the idea of going on the dating app, dating websites, matchmaking websites. So if I were in the position where I was single and I wanted to find someone and find a real committed relationship, nine nine thousand dollars, that's a lot of money.

But I mean, you'll take it more seriously. Yeah, should definitely take it more seriously. Sorry, I was gonna say, can I ask you as I don't think thirty years old is old by any starch, But do you kind of notice yourself being willing to compromise on certain areas of a relationship because you know that you want to have a family and kids and all that kind of stuff, so you're willing to give way a little bit more on certain things. That maybe you didn't before. Oh yeah,

I mean there's certain things that I know. I'm not ever willing to give up motherhood of um so, I I ink um because I'm the type of person that doesn't know how to date multiple people at the same time. I just like, if I like you, that means I want I can see a potential future with you, and I want to date you seriously. So I'm not like, oh, let's start off as friends and friends could end up because like that's like the line that guys use nowadays.

Let's start off as friends and then maybe we could, you know, like it can develop into something deeper, like no, don't friend zone me first, Like yeah, guys worst So yeah, yeah, I mean not agreeing to that. I'm saying I'm agreeing to compromising on certain things. But I think the older you get, the more you know yourself, and the more you know what you're um okay to walk away from and what you need to prioritize. I think that makes a lot of sense. I agree. Well, Vanessa, you just

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I'm very busy. I get flowers, you know, flowers and some sort of That's what I go for her away. No, so my mom's a Rhode Island, so I usually get.

This is the first time I'll be away from home for Mother's Day, though, so I'll get I usually get her flowers in a nice little card, and I'll write something, a nice little note of how appreciative I am of her, because that's the other thing you always want to remind your mom, that's how grateful you are for putting up with all the crap that she put up with when I was a kid. I still feel guilt over that. But Jerry's Burys is a great, great, great Mother's Day gift.

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it for me, guys. I'm out here, all right, So I want to move on to this next segment real quick. Two of my very close friends are getting married on Saturday. And instead of having their wedding as typically we see where you go up on the altar, you share your vows and and and commit to each other for the rest of your lives, which is a beautiful ceremony and all that. What they're doing is they're taking the most important day of their lives and making about other people.

It's called the greatest wedding ever donated. And what they're going to be doing is trying to raise half a million dollars for five separate charities. Yeah, it's in incredible, incredible, So they're gonna come in studio right now. Okay, So here we are joined in studio by Caleb and the soon to be Tiffany Remington' that's the first time I heard that it sounds good. It doesn't, it really does. Um, So tell the listeners. I gave them a very brief rundown on kind of what you guys are doing on

Saturday for your wedding. But tell us a little bit more about, um, maybe your story how you met. You guys have been doing a press circuit, so I'm sure you're familiar with just kind of the rundown of how it all goes. So, yeah, yeah, we have the our version, we have the thirty second version, and we have we'll take the ten minutes. Yeah. So Tiffany and I met three years ago through a mutual friend Sophie. Well, wait, I want to hear more of that story, because I

actually brought up on it. I did. I'm like, okay, all right, Well, so a mutual friend I went to college with her name's Sophie, and she went to high school with Caleb, and she um had moved out to California and then posted a picture on Instagram and then I was just flipping through. The funny thing is because you were talking. I was just saying beat off of Instagram, then dancing in the back. I'm like that, Um, so I was flipping through the people that liked the picture,

and he was only guy. And at that point I and dating in l a for about a year and a half, and I'm like, you know, and then she told me a little bit about him. She's like, oh, he's from where we grew up. And I was like, all right, well, you need to introduce me to him, and she never did, And then I decided to just follow him on Instagram and then he followed me back. That followed couldn't get you far. And this goes back to our conversation with Erica, which we can dive in

on a little bit later, but continue. Sorry, no, you're good. So yeah, we liked each all these pictures for the next six months and I didn't say a word one another. And then on my birthday. On my birthday, he commented amazing on with well, let's talk about why he said that. Why it's amazing. So Tiffany has this tradition on her birthday, Um, she adds a zero to her age and then makes that many lunches for the homeless people in her community. So,

guys are amazing. I was like, yeah, that was like, what kind of selfless person is not going to Vegas with her friends and getting drunk and party in but instead spending her own money and taking her own time to basically serve those in her community. I said, amazing, and wife the material for sure. Well, I totally noticed that. So then I took my girlfriend's Sophie's phone and texted him as her and I said, Hey, want to go to a daughter's game? And he said yes, and then

he canceled. The girl before the day before I canceled, I had to work function come up. And then I was like, but next weekend, I'm going out to Lake Havasu with a couple of friends. We're gonna fly out there. If you any of your friends want to come a k A tiffany weekend. Um, you guys are welcome. So we met out in Lake Havasu and you can tell your the rain the right Oh. We met and we hugged and then there was a rain cloud above us literally when we hugged and started writing, and there was

no good It's out of the notebook, that's what. And I'm like, now, this is my husband. I just the notebook really laid it out for us. So yeah, the rest was pretty much history on that. Yeah, so we dated for a year and a half and we got engaged out in Kawaie. Um. She was working like crazy hours, she was traveling all over the country helping this nonprofit, the Maleola Foundation, and so I was like, you know what, I knew I wanted to propose, and I didn't know

when or where. Um And then my friend reached out and said, Hey, you should come out to Kawaii and I was like, oh, this be perfect time, tiffany us to get away and like escape for a week. And he's like, and by the way, if you're gonna do it, this is the most amazing place on earth to get to propose. And I was like, the fact that you just said that means everything to me. So I bought her ring a week later, showed up at her doorstep. We went out to Kauai and we went on this

beautiful hike and we got engaged. And on the hike back is when we kind of started talking about what love meant us, um, what do we want our wedding day to look like? And it kept coming back down to community because Um, I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when I was one, and so every opportunity I've had, I basically raised money and awareness for this disease. And Tiffany has been through a slew of mental health issues and depression, sexual abuse, and has PTSD from her childhood trauma.

So she really leaned on her community in high school to get out of that. And so it just made perfect sense that, you know, on our big special day, we should give back to those who have given us so much and and why we're here today and why we're still standing. You guys are amazing. I'm like tearing up of the story. I mean, and for those of you listening, you guys are just beautiful people and you have just beautiful souls. So it's it's amazing to have

done something like this. And Tiffany, you're not even feeling well. You're you've been sick by all week because you've been planning this, this gala event that's coming up on Saturday, for your birthday, for your sorry, for your wedding, for your birthday. Yeah, it's been it's been wild. It's been

a year and a half of planning. And I think just this past weekend we had our rehearsal for like all the musical components, and that was the first time that we actually saw tangible um, tangible planning coming to life, so it kind of put everything to perspective for us. And we also were just surrounded by thirty plus people who jumped on board and got behind the mission and really believed in not only us but what we're trying to do. And um, yeah, it was really life changing

for the both of us. And this is everything that we had dreamt of when we were first talking about this and again to kind of see it come to full fruition is it's pretty wild. But so can you walk us through what the day is going to look like? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, So it's going to be an amazing day. Um, it's gonna be immersive experience that is hopefully life changing for everyone. Um, we're gonna have a reception from three to five, open bar.

We're gonna have activation events, so um you can talk about those little Yeah, so we're having like little community activities that help kind of stirt purposeful and intentful. I don't know if that's a word, but I'm going to

go with it. And yeah, we're gonna make that a word. Um. Conversations and like Caleb side cocktails and summer derves to kind of get everyone acquainted with one another, because not only are our friends and family coming, what we have strangers and just community members that are coming and joining us too. So I'm really excited for that. And then at five pm we kick off with the actual ceremony and Caleb and I actually get married, and I'm ordaining

the wedding. Big news, dame, And so yeah, I'm officiating the wedding. Oh this Actually I was like, should I just I should have just let it go? But wait, Dean will be there. But Dean will be there. Yeah, and hopefully you guys too. You guys aren't doing anything, So I was I told you I was with Brandy this weekend, and Brandy Cyrus is going to be your way at the Gallo event right at the benefit of benefit concert. So She's like, you guys got to come out.

I was like, oh my god, Like this is such an amazing cause I'll be part of your wedding, yes, celebrating guy. And and the money. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was gonna say, let's talk about the organizations that you decided to partner with. So, so you the goal is to raise half a million dollars for five separate nonprofit organizations.

Ye definitely. Yeah. So following our wedding ceremony to go straight into the gallo where we talk about all five nonprofits that were raising money for UM for me, mental health, education, and low income families. Is the cause areas that I was personally touched by Caleb kind of touched on it a little bit earlier about my history and my past. UM for Education we have THINK together. They're one of the largest after school programs in UM California, and they

do absolutely amazing work. UM a lot of immersive programs that really give the kids tools and resources to succeed. UM. Then we have the way for our foundation, which also is our fiscal sponsor, which allows us to operate as a five oh one C three. UM is serving the

homeless population in Los Angeles County. So they have an amazing event called the Skid Role Carnival of Love UM, which is all about, you know, a big celebration for those who are experiencing homelessness and UM also providing resources that they may need, whether if it's health, education, finance, UM and so forth. And then the last one is to write love on her arms. And I don't know if you guys, UM know this organization, but they started back in two thousand and six and I learned about them,

um through my Space. What. Yeah, so they they started this huge campaign to write Love on Her Arms to help raise awareness for UM suicide and also to raise awareness for suicide preventions. So they're going to be there as well, and we're really excited. And I'll pass it over to Caleb to talk about the other two. Yeah. So, as I mentioned, I was diagnosed with CF. So my family after they heard I was diagnosed, UM, I got the life expectancy of nineteen years old and you're how

old now? That deserves sport UM. So yeah, my family really leaned on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for you know, education resources and hope and so the we're going to give a portion to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, in particular one of their programs that targets UM targeted drug therapies, which is very promising for me. So they have the ability now to basically go into the specific cells that are affecting my lungs and correct them using crazy, crazy science.

And so I was on a clinical trial UM for one of the drugs that the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation invested in UM. It didn't work out, but you know, in the next two to four years, it's looking very promising that I could potentially have a therapy that could eradicate a lot of these symptoms and slow down the progression of my disease. So we're really excited and in stoke to get back to them, as well as Global Genes,

which is a rare disease foundation. Uh there's over seven thousand different rare diseases, and you can imagine, you know, it doesn't get the publicity the hype that UM breast cancer gets or any of these others, so they need all the support they can get. And they have such an amazing foundation and they make such a huge splash in that community, and they're really driving to to give these patients resources and find cures. So yeah, five organization

ha incredible organizations. And I think it's definitely worth noting that, Uh Caleb said it when he was born, or when he was diagnosed at one years old, he's basically doubled his life expectancy since then. And obviously you said two to four years from now there could be even more groundbreaking UM discoveries and medical advancements that will allow you,

obviously to live longer than that. I mean, I can't even I don't think any of us can really imagine what it must be like to go through life of that type of disease. But um, I think it's it's obviously incredible you guys are doing, and I think that we all could kind of take a page out of

your books. And um, Tiffany is actually when I first moved to Los Angeles, she was one of the people that I think I first sat down had like a real in depth conversation with and we actually went to hunter As We went to Hunters like two months ago with Ben and Riley in Humanity Hope Foundation, and um, you can really just see that she's a very bright light in this world and she's continuing to do those great things with this organization. Um. And obviously Caleb was

an incredible man as well. Every time I play golf with him and kicks my ask. But that's what that's what blows my mind. You have this like degenerative degenerative disease of cystic fibrosis and you still kick everyone's ass at every sport that you compete in them with. It's like, how do you how do you have six lunk of function and you're still getting burries on every single I don't know, um, I mean, obviously, it's it's incredible what you guys are doing, and thank you so much for

coming in and sharing your story. It's pretty incredibly even from an outsider like myself, like you guys came in and I'm almost speechless to a certain extent because of how incredible that you are on your individual but as

a couple. How powerful this really is to see you two come together, and to think that it all started from Instagram almost makes it even that a little bit better for this simple fact that so many like you guys are just such a good, great, wonderful couple and it all started from there, from liking each other's pictures, which is the most relatable thing I think anybody can

ever have. And I love the fact that after you guys met on Instagram and then got engaged obviously, and then you guys were talking about what love meant to you and that's what you wanted your wedding day to be like. And that's something that I've always thought about to me with my partner, whoever, Hopefully that happens one day I get married is what what does love mean to? So that's what I want to exhibit in our wedding.

And I think it's so wonderful that you guys are doing that, UM, and I really hope that everybody because I'm experienced it in person. Right now, I feel like everybody needs to experience what you guys present in person. And so, um, yeah, how do they get tickets to this wedding? How can they go? How can they celebrate love with you guys on Saturday? Yeah, So if you guys are still interested in coming to the gala and the benefit UM portion, they're still tickets. UM. There are

two hundred dollars on the g wed dot com. That's UM. Also the benefit concert, which is UM right after the gala, it's thirty five dollars. And people can come crash the wedding and Vince von if you're listening, Oh my god, I will be. This one is like one of my like, I love wedding crashers, So hey, I'm gonna be crashing

this wedding. And I come from a very big Italian family, so we always give money at wedding, so I'm coming with cash so people can come with cash right, Yes, yes, definitely, there's gonna be silent auction raffles um in different opportun tunities to raise money and funds. There and one more way you could get back. We're really excited about our opening number. We have an original track that was produced by Matt Thalen, Jacob Mayeta and Sam Kassaka and it's

called Nothing Can Tear Us Apart. It's available on iTunes. You can download it now for a dollar twenty nine and a portion of those proceeds go to help the g WED nonprofit. So and this is an original track made for you guys. Yeah, your first your song for your first dance, You guys will just have to give it away. But there is literally so much live music and a band like an incredible band that has been on tours with some of the most renowned artists. M and we have Q and A with a lot of

UM the organizations and other UM. Dean himself write some of the questions. Yes, actually I could totally mean help. You're hired your new brides maid? I actually don't have a maid of honor, Vanessa, you get Vince Vaughn on tweet. Whoever can raise the most money is the best man, and he's not. He's not joking about that because I brought it up multiple times and he's like, well, my friend is actually out donating you right now, So you've

got to raise a couple more dollars. Well, I have a question, Um, do people get uh, what's the call when you get donate money and you get a tax receipt? They do so with our fiscal sponsor, the Wayfair Foundation. Um, again, we're able to operate as a five one C three, So you get a tax receipt. Word, yeah, it's a charitable donation. So well, I have one last question. Do you I've had like conversations with this with like boyfriends

of mine and the conversation of destiny and fate. Do you believe that it was destiny brought you two together? And do you believe in fate? Oh? Yeah, absolutely. That we grew up fifteen minutes apart from each other. Um, we probably crossed paths a dozen times because high schools played against each other. We went to the same church. We we she knew my step mom before she became

my stepmom. And this is a Chicago all in Chicago, and then we came out here and and met and it wasn't for me at least love at first sight. But because I had so, I knew what I wanted my letting down and I was like I needed to go through my own process. But and I still am UM, But no, I totally believe in destiny. And yeah, I think it's like where your intention is. So if you because whatever you put out there, that's what you are attracted and so called that destiny, called that fate called

that whatever. I think, if love is what you're looking for and and the raw, unconditional um love, it's going to come back around. And I think one of the things that we often talk about a lot, and we're going to talk a lot about the Night of is being vulnerable and being open. That's one thing that really mushed us together was being able to talk about the really hard, difficult things that most people kind of just

suppressed and I don't want to talk about. But it's hard, and you have to be there for one another, and you have to be patient, and you have to be um. You've got to be committed to it and so and know that the other perfection doesn't exist. And you guys have been doing a lot of press regarding this the g WED as you guys are calling it, because do you find that that helps you open up even more about things or has it been a challenge to kind

of get traction with all that. Yeah, I know that has been a crazy experience in itself because we had made a little five minutes segment video to kind of kick off this whole idea of project, and that was the first time we really like because we was on camera, like I broke down probably a dozen times and and just let all this like things that I've suppressed in

the past like come up. And so, yeah, this has been such a growing experience for both of us for our relationship, and like we're so glad we were going to either go big, I mean, go go to the courthouse or you know, do this the greatest wedding ever donated. And we're so thankful because we get amazing people like you and you guys are the amazing ones it is, I mean, And just to kind of piggyback off that it takes it takes the power away from a lot

of the things that we've experienced personally. Um talk therapy is like a huge thing, and but I think when you're able to kind of say whatever happened, like my sexual abuse. Like, but the first time that I said it and told Caleb, I was bawling for eight hours. Couldn't even say it, could not, I would not don't

even want to go there. And the more that I talked about it and the more the more comfortable that I got with it, and then I was less in like a victimization kind of state and more of like, Okay, I'm past it and I want to be empowered by this rather than held back by it. Um And the same thing goes for Caleb. I think he's lived his life like this the whole that so I'm learning it.

He's he's the optimist out of the relationship, and he's because like, yeah, when you're given a life expectancy at age one and you're like, well, I have one way to live and that's the only way that I go.

So I think it's incredible inspiration for the listeners out there if you want to make a charitable donation to something uh greater than yourself, something for love for Caleb and Tiffany, but more importantly for them, the donations that are I'm sorry that the charitable organizations that they're working with. Go to www dot the g web dot com. It's th h E g w E D. And when you guys made your first Instagram, I was always calling it the GWED was like by we didn't even know what

to call it. I think go to the website. We have a wead quarters. It's perfect. Um, so check it out www dot the web dot com. No donation is too small. Even if you can only give a little bit, anything counts. Uh. If you're in the Los Angeles, please come to the ceremony on Saturday, the charity concert afterwards as well. Yes, Vanessa is gonna be there. I'm going

to be there, Ben and Brandy will be there. Um, Tiffany and Caleb of course they're going to be there, and maybe we can convince Jarrett to come as well. Way on Saturday. Cancel those plans. I know, I'm honestly debating it. But if you're not in the area, like Dean said, you can always go on the website to donate. Download the song. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so cute. Yeah, you guys are amazing. We got a lot of response to Sean. Shawn emailed us last week saying I have no confidence

for asking out women, remember, Sean. Yes, well, we got a lot of response. Here's Bella. She's twenty one and she says, I would absolutely rather guys come up to me than hit on me from behind a phone screen. Sean, if you're listening, this is big news for you. I grew up with online dating, and still it would sweep me off my feet if a guy came up to me in person, gave me a compliment and asked me out, bar, grocery store, class, whatever. Most of us girls are open

to it. We won't be creeped out if you don't do it in a creepy way. Now here's my question. I have met guys who are totally awesome online, funny and outgoing. We click so well, but they're totally quiet, boring, lifeless and weird in person. Why is this? Dean Eastern Mark, Eric and Jared, Vanessa, Vanessa and Clee a girl in Why do guys are a totally different personality in person that do over text? Do girls do this too? I need more of an answer than they're nervous. I'm nervous too,

but I am my best self on a date. What do you guys think about this? Is this both genders. Is this this generation because it's all online dating. I think there's like a it's a combination of things one I think in of personal relationships, like the first two First, Yeah, I would say the first time you meet someone in person,

it's kind of like the audition process. You're like, I'm gonna be like polite and I'm gonna do all these things that I think this other person wants me to do or say, and you're not totally being yourself, so you're kind of like filtering like the person that you are.

So I would say, like give it like two or three dates until you really get to see who that person is and if they if that personality that you liked on the screen, you know, behind you know, on whatever app you guys met, if it does end up coming up later. Yeah, we talked about this the three day rule, like usually you go on three days before you can really judge if this person is going to be something substantial or not. Having said that, man, it

is tough. We talked about this last week. Putting your mindset into a younger generation because this generation has just grown up with the facts. We talked to people over phones, no, not in person, and so it's kind of awkward when you first meet somebody, especially as a year old. There's a couple of things working, though. I feel like a

lot of communication can get lost via text. Like you even like some of your closest friends you text with on a daily basis, they're a different version of themselves when they're texting, just because people look at texting differently

than they do like verbal communication. I will say that I think I'm funnier over text, mostly because I can take a little bit longer to come up with Google answers exactly funny, especially in those first moments of a relationship where you're like trying to be funny and like out going all this kind of stuff. And I mean, I like to think that even when I'm in the first date mode and I get to meet that person face to face for the first time, I'm still kind

of that way, but definitely not as funny. So maybe that's just the same situation. Do you ever like write out an answer in a queue and then leave it there for a couple minutes and then come back to it and you're like, it either sounds better you think of something worse, or better to say no. But maybe

I should start. Yeah, you write it out, that's what I just no, no, no, it depends on what I'm texting or i'm texting, if it's like or emailing, obviously making sure if it is like some sort of business or a professional thing, like I'll write it out first, reread it, kind of take separate myself from it for five minutes, and then come back and reread it again and I'm like, oh, okay, this sounds better. I read it.

I read it out loud. Not I'm not saying if you're texting a all you should be doing this, but sometimes it helps if you read it out loud, take a minute to think about it, and you're like, nope, it sounds better if I shorten it or do this to do that, I'm the opposite. I'll write something out, I'll look at it. I'd be like this is so stupid, send like why am I saying this? Or writing this? That's amazing. Usually it's the best course of action, though it's just I think I don't have the patience to

come back to something later on. I'm not saying this involved. I sorry. I took it off of the rails because I was thinking more of like emails and business things, but this is like more in in this case, it sounds like it's a business thing. But Bella her complaint It is a lack of confidence. I think a lot of people have because there's so much more confident behind a keyboard, behind their phone, and then face faces. It can be intimidating, especially if you're most of your conversation

is happening in Bella. Why don't you do this then? Why don't you for why don't you try face timing them before you meet them in person, so you kind of like break the ice. That's a good idea. I don't hate it. I think Case definitely give him a second chance. But I like the FaceTime idea. I think

that's really good. Um, there was one time back ages ago when I was doing the online dating thing, maybe like three or four years ago, and I was gonna meet up with this girl, and I was like, I just want to make sure that this is going to be something that's like worth both a while, So I did the FaceTime thing. It ended up actually being Um, we went on a few dates, were still friends to

this day. Didn't really turn to anything too serious, but it definitely was a lot better going into the date knowing that we had already had a face to face conversation. All right. Another response to Sean, Carolyn says, First of all, she says, love the podcast. So happy Jared's become a coded the team. Carolyne, Thank you, Carolyn. Excuse me, Carolyn. Yes. Regarding Shawn's email, there was a conversation about nineteen year

olds asking people out in person. I'm a nineteen year old girl and I absolutely prefer to be asked out in person, and it has happened to me maybe twice. Agreed, shows total confidence no matter what you look like. I will give five minutes of my time to have a

conversation because you are pursuing a conversation with me. But now, for Jared and Dean being nine and twenty seven, would you ever date someone who was nineteen twenty If you asked someone else thinking they were older and then found out they were that age, would that be a complete turn off for you? This is from experience. She said she went on on a date with the twenty seven year old and thought she was older, which she said she was nineteen. Something switched. It kind of ended at

that point. Thanks for the time. Hopefully next week, I'll suck a little bit less. Caroline, I'm gonna say I might catch some plaque for this that that is too young. I know, thats just it's just too young. I'll let you guys answer this one and then I'll chime in. I try to always think of age is just a number, and that it's more than just you know, a number

that you can put on somebody. Having said that, it is hard for you know, somebody who is, like you said, seven, to overlook the fact that they're dating a nineteen year old. But to Carolin's point, you're clicking, you meet this person, you're clicking. Age doesn't come up. You're having a great conversation. There's a mutual attraction there. Oh, by the way, I'm nineteen. Are you at the door? No, I don't think you should be out the door, But it's I think it

asked more questions early on in the relationship. Um, that may not be there if you're dating year old. Having said that, like you know, like think about college. You

know you're twenty seven year old. You know, if you're twenty seven and you have your you know, you have your job and your say you bought a house and you're kind of ready to settle down, and then you're dating a nineteen year old and she's like, well, you know, I'm going into my junior years college, you know, and I don't graduate for two more years, and then I'm thinking about going to my masters, and like he's doing that you know, age in his head, and he's like, well,

that's four years from now. So I'm thirty one then, and so yeah, do you guys really think like that A seven? I don't think so, I don't think as much. But I'm just saying, like I think that there are coming A couple of things come to mind that benefit Caroline's case right now. One is that she's in Vancouver. And one of the one of the turnofs for me for dating someone under twenty one in America is that we can't go to bar settings with my friends or

her friends, et cetera, because we wait, how old is she? Right? If you're doing long distance, because in Canada, well, in montreal's eighteen, and then I think that the rest of Canada might be nine years. I'm just saying, I'm sure that the twenty seven year old that she met is also in Vancouver, and so that's not that's a non

issue for them there that would be in America. Number two working in our favor is that we have a success story in this studio right now about mid to late twenties man dating eight teen the nineteen year old woman that is now married of fifteen years with two kids. Yeah, I was. I was twenty six and she was eighteen. So what's your advice on this? My advice is, if you're clicking, this could be the one you never know.

And look, I feel like so my last relationship, he was nine years older than I was, so I was like, oh my god, this is perfect. Like I was always the girl that wanted to have kids and wanted to be married, and I thought I needed to date an older guy because then I thought, you know, he's established, he's at the age where he's gonna want kids. He wasn't at that point yet. So I do think that if you're both, if you're um, if your life is, if you have the same intentions and the same goals,

then who really cares about age? You know. It's so hard though, because we always tell people like you shouldn't really settle it down to your late twenties because you really need to find out more about yourself. So it's like it's almost like a double standard to a certain extent,

where you're talking about both sides of your mouth. I'm not saying you, guys, I was just saying society in general, where it's like one side it's like, well, age just summer, it's this nineteen or twenty, and then the next person will say, well, you need really figure yourself out before you can settle down and find out the person, because if you're married too young, then you're always curious about We're not talking about marriage right now. We're talking about

right now. But I'm just saying, like, it's just also, it's just it's a very gray area. So of course I don't think I should just throw somebody out with their nineteen years old if you like them them only assessed on a case by case basis. I don't think there's one great hunching rule. Look at Marx case, he's, you know, happily married fifteen years. They met when they were eight years apart, and she was eighteen. So I'm going to tackle this next email you guys, you ready

for this? Who is? This? One's from Janelle Hi Dean Mark Easton Jared and Vanessa. I'm so sick of sending messages on dating apps and not getting a response. I've tried the simple high finding someone in the profile to comment on, and even Erica's subseal, and I still only get one reply for every twenty messages I sent. I've told you, Janelle, do not use the sub sal. I've even slid into a few d ms, including Jared's Actually funny enough, what could I be doing? What all their

ideas would you recommend? I'm almost thirty and I'm so sick of seeing these dead ends. Is wanting to get on e Harmony? Hell, I can't even get the date to suck at dating? I love this all. Oh man, um hey, I like I said earlier, when I just turned thirty and I was single and I really wanted to find a committed relationship. I was opening up my you know, the idea to joining Yeah, like whatever harmony exactly, but I mean, like something, that's how you met this

guy that you're dating. We're not talking about that. We are talking to Janelle better her chances to find someone important, and you're really only hurting Janelle, right, I hope you know, Jane, I'll just slide into my d M s and we'll talk about and then screenshot them and post them. Were, Um, where was I going with this? What kind of doing well? Janelle?

You should absolutely join e harmony or put yourself out there, and I don't think you're doing anything was sliding in d M. I'm sorry if I did not answer yours, I'm sure, but uh, but yeah, go for it. Go an the harmony, absolutely, go on match, go on tender, go on whatever you want, like, put yourself out there. I know, I guess you can't say that you've sucked. You suck at dating unless you kind of put yourself out in different avenues to go on dates, which would

be online dating. Now, Tammy made the the advice earlier. Maybe she was a little biased because she's a matchmaker and she doesn't want to condone the use of those apps, but she was saying, just like, go to charity events, go on out there, go to things that you wouldn't

where you met. If you met someone at one of those things, and you would know that he's a stand up guy because he is putting himself in those environments to give back to organizations or you know, put something else before himself, and I think there's something to be said about focusing on yourself doing things for yourself, because I also believe what you put out there is what

you get back. So if you go out to an event and you go out your friends and you just go out to have fun, uh, people will be naturally gravitate towards you, and you never know who might come say hi, I completely agree with you. This is gonna be a really weird analogy. But you know when you go shopping and you're looking for like a specific dress with polka dots, and you're like, I can't find that.

I can't find it because you're just focusing on that one thing, and then randomly one day when you go shopping, you and to finding that exact dress that you always wanted. I think if you're focusing on yourself and you know, do things to further your career and to further yourself as as a woman, it'll end up happening naturally. So I do believe in it. I wanted to get to

Taylor real quickly. She's a senior in high school. She thinks she might be a little younger sec dating, but she says plenty of boys hold on because I'm I'm from Canada. So what is senior? Oh, senior twelve grade twelve, eighteen years old, that's secondary. I'm sorry, what is different? Okay? So in Canada, Well, in Quebec we have one to grade one to six and then we have high school, so that's secondary one to second every five and then we have two years of pre university, which is stage up,

and then we have university for four years. Didn't make it the gist of that. Basically, she's like seventeen, maybe eight two. She's senior in high school, and she took horticulture because she needed more science credit this semester, and she loves the class, and along the way she didn't have to crush on a boy named Connor. He's funny and charming, with pretty quiet and shy and sometimes a little too sarcastic wish to me as every every high school boy, including myself at that age. When I first

met him, I told my friends I liked him. Now a couple of months later, I think he's making comments he likes me. They aren't super clear, but it's like he's testing the waters see if I like him back. So my question is do I make a move and flat out ask him what he's been trying to hint at side note, he's leaving for boot camp later this summer, so I don't really know what our future would be. But I just don't know whether or not to take matters into my own hands and take action. Love you all,

keep doing what you're doing. Taylor in Seattle, not far from Vancouver. Oh yeah, girl, I say, what have you got to lose? Nothing to lose, and plus, don't worry about the boot camp during this summer. If things are going to work out, that work out, Like if what's the worst that can happen? You end up falling in love with this guy, and then obviously you're gonna have to deal with some sort of long distance relationship. But is that really the worst thing possible that you find love?

You know, I'm not a post a long distance I actually enjoy Italy very different. I'm gonna take I'm gonna play a devil's advocate and say, don't sweat it, don't even go for it. Why because they are both seniors in college high school. I'm sorry, they're both seniors in high school. They're probably gonna end up going different colleges. That's going to take away from both of their college experience. The boot camp sounds like you might be in the military.

He was just saying that, And then all of a sudden, see, this is what we do. We talk on both sides of the mouth, where like, she's what assume she's eighteen. She's one year younger than the nineteen year old that emailed us, And you told them to like, don't worry about age, don't worry about long distance. You should just you know, I never said I. Yes, I said it as him, But you were just making the case that you should just kind of live out your pinies and

find yourself. It sounds like to me, she's got a very harmless crush on a guy that she kind of liked in high school who might kind of like her back. This is by no means she likes him well enough to be writing up of course. And I make all the time, and I will say that I'm making this argument solely to see the other side of this as well. But I just think as going into college. I went into college. I went to my freshman year of college in a relationship with someone that I did in high school.

I don't regret it. By any means, but it definitely you go to college to experience new things and have fun with friends and as many new people as you possibly can, and maybe get an education as well while you're there. And I don't know, I just think that it sounds like it's harmless of enough of a crush to not lose sleep over it if it doesn't amount to anything, which it sounds like. There are high school sweethearts, you know. I was about to say, what would you

what would you say to high school sweethearts? I've never heard of that before. Was that, I'm just know high school sweethearts are fine too. That's but they were sweethearts in high school. This girl is a senior in high school. She took a garden in class and met a guy and has a small crush on him, and now he might have a crush on her backgol, Taylor shot, but don't invest too much into it, is what I'm saying. Saying. Fact, I think that you guys are all like they're getting married.

I said, don't be concerned about the boot camp. If it goes that far, then let the chips fall where they may. Don't worry about that, right, Taylor, forget about this guy, Taylor. Just ask him. I would just ask him just to serious, Yes, ask him and make your feelings clearout any intentions. Yes, what we're saying, Yeah, we're just saying the same far alright, one more and then we gotta wrap it up, all right, Yale. I met my boyfriend in our college Jim, back in September. Started

off his friends ended up sleeping together. Afterwards. I asked him if this is a one time thing or what He said, No, I'm into this. Let's see where it goes. However, that's what everything seemed to flip for him in his life. He got kicked out of school because of poor grades. He had to move back with his parents in Nevada. He's twenty seven and pursuing his undergrad I'm twenty four

and then my second year of grad school. He visited once a week in the beginning, but then ghost of three weeks in and when he finally returned my text, he said he was depressed. Kind of get that anyway. He ended up finding an internship for the summer seven hours away from me. He agreed and needed to work on his communication. If we were going to make this happen, He left at the end of March and is visiting in June, but will be done with his internship until August.

Communication still real bad. We talked maybe once a week if it all. He blames that I'm being busy with work, but I truly believe if we make that we make time for those we want to. So it's all b s to me. Should I end things now? Are a wait for him to turn And I actually try to date, not be long distance. I like him, but it's tough without communication. An Ari l oh Arial, I will always say this, the person that you're meant to trying to think it's supposed to be easy when you first started.

You know, when you date someone, it should be easy. I mean, of course, like the relationship would naturally take like its course of like you know, having ups and downs and stuff. But if a person is into you, they will do whatever it takes to make it work, especially if they're having a hard time. And I always say this, when you're dating someone, it shouldn't be How is this going to affect me? Is? How is it

going to affect us? And I see that you've adopted that mentality, and I'm not sure if he has entirely. And granted, I mean, like it seems like he is going through a lot right now. Um, but I think, um, here's the thing. Yeah, I can totally empathize with a guy that doesn't feel like maybe he's good enough for a girl like this and that's why he's probably pushing

her away. That's probably accurate. But what he needs to do is if he really likes you, ari l he'll put his insecurities and doubts to the side if he

thinks that you're the most important person right now. And obviously he doesn't view that, and so I think right now, the best thing would probably to cut off communication for the simple fact that he needs to focus on himself and you never know where the world will take you or like if you know, you guys meet up however long from now, and maybe he's in a better place and okay, but right now, it just seems that he's not in a good place, and that's putting you in

a bad place with him because he's not doing what's best for you. Guys. He's kind of doing what's best for himself right now, which is okay if he's in a bad place. Having said that, I think for you, it's best if you cut off communication. And I think Vanessa said something last week along the lines of girl, you don't gotta wait for no man and it's not even But here's the thing about all But here's the thing about waiting too, is that I think, um, you

should never wait for anybody. But like, how do I describe this most instructive word in relationship? Bottom line, she's not top of mind with him right now. Well, he's got a lot going on. But yeah, maybe the timing is wrong. So what's the advice. Do we suggest that they just kind of fizzle their communication or do we suggest to her that she tells him that they should

just stop talking. I think I think I think she should tell him to stop talking with the upper hand and be like, listen because it might light a fire. Owners Like, so it's either going to go one of two ways. I know, even if it does light a fire under his But I still think she's just So what if he started texting her all the day and starts going to visit her all the time and then really starts and then starts bettering his own life because

he wants to have this work. Sure, he'll do that until he gets it back to where he wants her, and then he'll do exactly what he's done right now

and continue to go. So you're saying that if he does start showcasing signs, what if like this goes on for like two months and he starts really putting more effort in time into the relationship, you still say like, Nope, I think I think the issue with this is once he realized what where they were, and once he realized that he had her, he started fading away in his

communication and started getting lackadaisical with it. And then once she says him that she that he no longer has her, then he'll light a fire owners but reignite him to to get her back and once So what you're saying is that people don't deserve second chances. I'm not saying that at all. So what are you saying. I'm just saying that this guy I'm so interested. Okay, keep going. I am saying that this guy sounds like people that

I know that have done something similar to this. It's not saying that people don't deserve second chances, because that's absolutely not true. Everyone deserves a second chance. But I just think that maybe he's out of place in his life where a relationship is in a priority for him, and because of that, he'll get stuck in the cycle. Yeah. My concern is that they've been dating for a while September of last year, and he goes to her for three weeks. That's I totally agree. That's why I think

they should cut it off. I don't foresee this guy really putting effort in. What I'm saying is if he starts showcasing more effort like that's I mean, I don't know, that's a very gray area whether you shut the door completely. I'm an optic, like I'm very optimistic in a relationship. I like to try everything possible before I say goodbye.

So arial My advice is, if you feel like you've done and said everything that you needed to say and do in order to this relationship a successful one, and you're so unhappy, then it might be time for you to try something different. I'm trying to be more edgy and opinionated. I'm telling Ario what she needs to do is text him, don't even give him the decency of a phone call, telling this telling that she's no longer

interested in having conversations with him. No longer interesting, block his phone number on Instagram and Facebook and everything, all of that stuff, and then move on and find someone maybe in your graduate program with you. And by the way, I wanted to talk to this is off topic entirely, but I didn't get a chance to work it in

organically into the conversation earlier. Facebook had just announced this morning that they are unrolling a dating um not an application, but like a dating form for their website as well. So it's gonna be like Facebook tender ask thing. It's gonna be interesting. And maybe we can talk about that next week, but that'll do it for this week. UM, thank you so much for being in studio again, both

Jared and Vanessa. I love that for you. Like I think we had a listening email earlier saying how grateful we are to have have him in studio every single week. And I say, gran and Vanessa two weeks in a row, sign this girl on. She's killing it. Hit. Um. We hope to make this a common thing. I hope it seems like you know, I like the flow of it. I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I'm liking the synergy. UM. So again, big thank you to

you guys. Big thank you to Tiffany and Caleb of course, who are back in the back room behind us right now. They're not really paying attention, but they're beautiful people. They're doing an incredible thing. Um b sure check out their website www dot the g wed dot com t h E g w E d dot com. Uh, the greatest wedding over donated is what it stands for. Big thank you to Tammy Pickle at Elite Connections dot com. Um, if you have the funding available and you're really serious

about getting into a relationship, checker out. Big thank you to Sherry's berries. They're delicious. They're nutritious. Everyone loves chocolate. You get a whole bunch of berries, so many berries, your mam will love them. Big thank you to Ku Doba for bringing us lunch today. It was amazing. I had some barbacoa and oh my god, that was amazing. Welcome, really good. This was a fun episode. I really appreciate everyone listening. Be sure to tune in next week for

next week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. This has been Dean, Jared Vanessa and maybe next week we'll all suck a little bit less. Follow help I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.