¶ Intro / Opening
I was holding my weird, but it was one of those things where I really let it get to me more. And so now, so much of my confidence has not just come from like, Oh, I've gotten pretty successful, the things I've tried to it is I have talked to so many people who are now able to be open about their struggles. And so when you're able to kind of deal with those feelings and truly accept, like, I am struggling, because my brain is literally wired
differently. And so holding myself to the same expectations is not only unfair, but it's going to set me up for cycles of disappointment, and low self esteem and self anger. And you only can start letting that go once you start to accept that like you have to find a way to do things your way because a lot of times other people's ways are not going to be what helps you in the long term.
Welcome to successful with ADHD, I'm Brooke Shipman. Let's get started. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to successful with ADHD today. I have Dani Donovan. Hi, Dani. I'm
¶ Dani's "Anti-Planner" with creative strategies for ADHDers to overcome roadblocks.
sure you know, Danny is if you're on Instagram, Tik Tok on Twitter. Danny is a purpose driven creator, author advocate for ADHD years. And she's started in her comics, and she has a neurodiverse squad hashtag which has helped build an online community. Hey, for adults living with ADHD, and she has been featured in publications like The New York Times BBC News and PR and was a closing keynote speaker at the 2021 International ADHD conference where I actually met Danny, but
I met her in 2019. Her unorthodox self help book has been amazing, you probably have seen it's called the anti planner. So we know that with ADHD a lot of people say get a planner, well she has the antic planner, and it's how to get shit done when you don't feel like it. And she does have a clean version for those of you who are offended and offers creative strategies, activities and games to help procrastinators understand their emotions and overcome
productivity roadblocks. And Danny's work has encouraged 1000s of people to seek diagnosis and treatment. How cool is that? So explore her content at ADHD DD for Danny donovan.com, or follow her on social media at Danny Donovan. All right, welcome.
Excited to be here. It's been a long time coming.
I am excited to have you. So for those of you who don't know, I met Danny in 2019 at ADHD conference, and she was doing comics then. And she was showcasing them and like these are so cool. I see the potential in her. Can you do one for my website? And she's like, Yeah, let's do it. And we got into this creative mood and talked about and she's like, Yeah, I'm over committed myself. Typically ADHD, but I do have a very cool drawing from you and your autograph on it. So I feel
excited about that. So anyway, Danny, what did you get
¶ Dani's ADHD diagnosis in freshman year of college when seeking help for depression.
diagnosed with ADHD?
I was a freshman in college. I'm 32. And I was like, 18 and a half or 19 when I got it, so I mean, it was a long time ago. But it also wasn't that long ago, considering that like, my mom is my fifth grade teacher, and she thought I could have ADHD. And my teacher said she can't have ADHD. She's too smart. To my mom, and so it's like, oh, okay, I wonder, you know, what life would have looked like if I would have known about it that much sooner.
Wow. And we talked about that so much on this podcast about how, unfortunately, especially back then teachers were just under educated about ADHD, especially in women, so Wow. Okay, so what happens then when you are freshmen that finally convinced you to get that diagnosis?
What's really funny is I did not go in there looking for an ADHD diagnosis. I started college and moved to a different small town I'm from Omaha, Nebraska. I went to school in Kearney, Nebraska, you know, they had a really great graphic design program, but I really missed my for I finally found a friend group where I
felt like I belonged. And moving to a different area with a much different, like, culture was a culture that I was used to, but like I grew up in the city and a lot of people like didn't and I was having a hard time kind of like fitting in. Try joining a sorority but like at the end of the day, I It was not taking care of myself, I was getting really depressed. I was going home every single weekend, because I really felt like I didn't. I was trying really hard, but I didn't belong
anywhere. And I just hadn't been, you know, found my people yet. And I was getting really sad about it. And I recognized those kinds of feelings and thoughts, because I have been depressed one other time when we moved to Phoenix, and I had to restart finding friends over again, there's some themes here. But starting over is really hard for me. And so I went to talk to someone about depression. And I was like, ah, last time I let this get really bad, I wanted to talk to someone before I was at
that point. And she heard how fast I was like, flitting from topic to topic. And I kept apologizing for talking too much. And she was like, Why are you apologizing? I said, Oh, because it's annoying when I talk that much. And she goes, who said that? And I'm like, everyone started like crying and silly. And she goes, does anyone talk to you about ADHD? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, because again, I was 18 or
19. And my brain starts going, everyone I knew, who had who had ADHD was like, annoying boy in my class, who didn't have any friends. Like, that was the image. I hate to say it, you know, obviously, I've learned a lot since then. But that was 18 or 19, like the true stigma that was residing in my brain. And I like to think I'm a pretty open minded person, but like, that was still there. Then I was like, no, no, no, that's not me. And she was a psychiatric nurse practitioner confided in me that
she had ADHD. So I was like, Oh, wait, I can be a cool, successful person. Also, she handed me like, a list of all the symptoms, I read it. And I was like, oh, no, you know, but I tried meds. And it really was like that putting on glasses moment where I was like, is this it could have been like this the whole time.
It's just real life.
For other people, and you feel it's like glasses that work like part of the time. But at the end of the day, there's that also, like sad and angry feeling when you get diagnosed later in life where you go, Why didn't anyone tell them notice? Or Why didn't anyone tell me or I didn't even realize that it could be different than this. And how many years of my life did I
struggle? I didn't have to, again, 18 is is older, but it's not like I know people, people messaged me, I get emails from people in their 50s 60s 70s, who are getting diagnosed with ADHD and are like, Oh, I wish I would have known this, like 50 years ago.
Yeah. So you had said that you have helped, like, 1000s of people identify that they have ADHD and get that diagnosis, what does that feel like for you, especially someone
¶ Rewarding to be able to help people recognize symptoms and get diagnosed.
who, you know, when you first got diagnosed is thinking, if I had only known this,
so it's really rewarding. It's probably the best part of what I've done. And I do a lot of stuff. But hearing people tell me what a difference my content has made, either, you know, getting them a diagnosis, or giving them tools to explain their feelings and their internal worlds to the people around them. Whether it be friends or loved ones, significant others parents, and sometimes having the outside person be able to like, show it to you and they go, Oh, it's not
just you making excuses. This is like a thing. You know, I feel bad. And so I get emails from people of all ages, who are really excited to start a new chapter of their lives and feeling like hope for the first time in a while. And then I get a lot of people who are paying, I get people, you know, parents who go I feel so much guilt for the amount of anger and impatience and lack of compassion that I have for my
child. And I didn't understand how bad it really was to try to navigate this until I was able to visually see someone's experiences mapped out like that. And you know, I know better now, but like, I feel like such a bad mom. And I'm like, your kid is 14, you know, and like you being able to acknowledge that you don't want to, you know, treat them like
that anymore. The rest of their life is going to be so much better because there's so many people who never get to that point who never stopped blaming their kids for their symptoms. It's all very rewarding to hear from kind of these different segments of people.
Wow. So that's huge. I mean, the fact that you've impacted 1000s of people so far and families that must be an amazing feeling. But also like when you got that add
¶ Medication was like "putting on glasses" for the first time for Dani.
ADHD diagnosis and you were in graphic design at the time. Like what happens to you fast forward a little bit from there. Once you started to understand your ad shoe brand new set is like putting you know glasses on for the first time and you know where sometimes not all Time, what did life start to look like for you?
So like in high school, I really didn't struggle that much academically because I had the structure of my parents and the structure of the routine. And like people would know if I wasn't doing stuff. And that was what was so hard my freshman year to was like that structure completely disappeared. So learning to function without my parents around, and still get my laundry done, and still feed my stuff. That's stuff that's not just grilled cheese every single
night. And so learning to find some semblance of a routine for like self care. And I see that picked up gym stuff, and running and reading while I was doing it. And so really being able to find time to take care of my meat soup. But then the other thing that was really big was being able to show up on time in the mornings, because I would fall asleep in my classes, because I will be staying up so late working on the projects for
my eating and classes. And then I get three hours of sleep, you know, and so I was able to actually sit and focus on a project and not make something that needs to take four hours take 12 hours, because I keep getting distracted halfway through totally. And so that was really a big a big impact. And so I actually graduated top of my class program. So it was, it was pretty cool.
So you graduated top of your class. But
¶ Dani became the "easy person to talk to" which helped her thrive and build collaboration.
how did you do that? So you said that the medication really helped you. But what other types of structures did you put into place?
The big thing for me was also I helped I kind of accidentally community builds really easily. I was really the easy person to talk to in our class, I really, I came in with a lot more experience than other people in my class. My junior year of high school, my parents got me a MacBook Pro. And it was my it was two birthdays, two Christmases and my graduation present. And they're like, early, because like, we're not just going to get you a laptop.
But you know, because I had been nominated to be Design Editor of our school yearbook. And so I got to learn how to use Adobe InDesign and Photoshop and all that stuff in high school. And so when I got to college, I already knew how to use a lot of these programs, I had experienced designing T shirts, and most of my classmates didn't, some of them have never had never used any of the programs before. Some of them have never even heard of the
program's before. Being able to be that person who wasn't the teacher that people could come in, like, ask the questions and ask for help from. And for me, it really was like, I want all my classmates to get better, because I want people to like, say compete with, but I want people to work on to inspire me, you know, I challenge me. And so everybody started to get better.
And we started to hang out in groups, and all work together, we really body doubling, if one of us had to stay late and there was someone else staying late, like we were less likely to go home. And so there was a lot of late nights. But that camaraderie and being able to have some peer support really made a huge difference. And so we graduated with 10 people, and it was like the largest graduating class they've had for
like 20 years. And they attribute a lot of that to our class being really collaborative and friendly. Instead of pass classes that had been really like competitive, like, I don't want you to get an offer for the job that I want. I'm gonna hoard this information for myself, but I think a lot of us were very nervous, it seemed like a very neuro diverse
¶ Dani takes a non-scarcity approach to competition and community.
group. So wow, I think that is so powerful, because you don't have a scarcity mindset clearly when it comes to getting the job and working with the community, other people. And because of that, like look at where you are today. And we can talk more about that journey. And, you know, you figured out through your natural strengths and values, how to succeed with ADHD, not being taught it but just because you leaned into, Oh, I love community, I love
working with other people. Let me just do the thing, and figure out how to how to get this done because you're a team player.
And that was really what I had said earlier that I hadn't found my crowd, I hadn't found where I belonged. It wasn't until I started to get to know the people in my classes because at the beginning, you start with 125 kids in the program. And again, we ended with 10 And so around sophomore year, which is when like half of the class drops out. It's a really hard program. But by the time they have that many people you start to finally have the same people in all of your
classes. And so that's something it's also really difficult as an adult, especially as you like change jobs or move cities like I just moved to Atlanta, like a year ago, and I happen to know someone down here who was introduced me to some of her friends, but still Writing over that experience as an adult, if especially if you work for yourself or work from home, and you're not in the same spaces as other people on a regular basis, it can be so challenging to not just make those relationships
but maintain them. Because as ADHD errs are not always so good at the communication.
What do you mean out of sight out of mind?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I think that's wonderful. And I talk about how ADHD is like a three legged stool. One is finding your community and other one is the behavioral approaches, and sometimes medic medication. So for you, you had the medication, you found your community and through the community, you are able to maintain momentum with that accountability. So that's awesome. And now you're providing that for other people to
my career now, which has been really great, because there's absolutely I love being able to be open about my struggles on the internet, and then have a bunch of people telling me that they struggle with that, too. There's nothing that motivates me more to go and take care of that thing. So I can come back and post an update, and be like, Oh, my God,
you guys, I actually did it. And then people say, You've inspired me to go take care of it now, you know, and then they post their picture of their thing being done. And it's just a really fun feeling. I love this community. There's a lot of toxic online communities out there. And the ADHD and neurodivergent, like communities online, for the most part, are so positive and supportive and loyal. Because so many of us have been picked on or felt like
an outsider for so long. And we're like, we found our crew, we got to stick together.
Let's go, right. And I think that because you're sending such an authentic message, and you're being vulnerable about your struggles that people can really relate to what you're going through. So like, you're you're just, you know, like, it's not even a job for you at this point. It sounds like it's more of a passion. It's just
public art therapy and public processing. Yeah. Because there are people who you don't think about something
¶ Doing laundry as an ADHDer.
until you see something and you go, Oh, is that not? Is that not? What happens for other people? You know? Yeah. Oh, isn't it something that could
help explain? You know, this because I still remember seeing Jessica McCabe's she was just like an offhand comment is an example and one of her videos about laundry being challenging for people with ADHD because it involves so much set switching and waiting and having to get to it before the mildew sets in and you have to wash it again, or the dryer is now all wrinkly, and you have to dry it again. And then you're shrinking clothes and asked me how I know.
But not realizing that this thing, and I put it off until I didn't have any clean clothes anymore. And then now I have to do seven loads of laundry. And I just love the laundry. And I had so much shame about how much I struggled with it compared to other people. And she mentioned that it's challenging for people with ADHD and why. And I started like, weeping, just like, weeping. And I watched a bunch
of videos. And I remember crying during so many of them because I got wow, maybe I can hate myself a little less. Like that really was the feeling of everything isn't a personal flaw of mine that, you know, I've been teased about or I'm self conscious about. There are answers. And there are other people who also struggle with and I just haven't talked to anyone about it.
Yeah, I hear you, I hear you. And I know that you and Jessica are like besties now. So for those of you who want to know who we're talking about, you probably have seen her on YouTube before how to ADHD. And when I met Danny and met Jessica as well, they were both putting on. I don't even remember what you call it. But it was like inter class presentations at the International ADHD conference. So I'm curious, like you accidentally fell into this
¶ How Dani first went viral.
right? So you were just doodling. And then all of a sudden you blew up.
I made a, a sound. There's actually a little bit of story here. I had just started a new job at Gallup have just started there was about two months and they have these like couches, that people can kind of work on their laptops out. And I was working with some of my female teammates. And they want somebody started talking about therapy. And this girl is like now one of my best friends. She started talking openly about
therapy. And I was like, wow, I have not talked to anyone, even my closest friends about therapy and you're just telling me about what you're working on in therapy. Wow, you know, you're so brave. I was like, Whoa, like I hadn't even crossed my mind that that's the thing that you would do. And I opened up to people and told them I had ADHD and they go, Yeah, I mean, we kind of figured this out. Like,
what's that supposed to mean? So then kind of got an inside joke about how I tell stories and how the conductor of my train of thought Donnie Donovan, is really bad at his job and keeps, like wanting to take all these detours to take you to like the fans, like, show you every single, this pretty like cool thing along the way. Because, you know, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible, and doesn't want to leave
anything out. And so I made that little comic as a way to track like Johnny's journey, because I really fell into that pattern all the time. So I made it such a to my friend. And she goes, Wow, that's so you, I'm gonna go I know, I made it. And she goes, you have to post this online. And our boss followed me on Instagram. And I had not told him I had ADHD. And I was like, I don't know. Or maybe I should like change the title. You know, we're not putting a PhD on
there. She goes while you get posted on Twitter, like you have, like 600 followers. So it's not like that, that many people would see it. Okay. And I posted on Twitter, and it blew up immediately. And one of the reasons is like Aaron Brooke, who I talked to talks a lot about ADHD also had retweeted it to like her ADHD audience. And there were a lot of comics that were talking about ADHD. Jessica had her awesome channel, there were books that were podcasts. But there were not like specific
ADHD comics being made. And so I saw the response from the community. I read the comments, people. Yeah, some people were like, Oh, this is funny. And some people were like, wow, this is a punch in the gut. Why am I crying? That really inspired me to then start making more because I go, Okay, well, this was fun for me to make. And it seems like people like them. So I'll try a couple more of these. And the response was really great on all of them. And so I
just kind of kept with it. But having those ADHD thoughts of, okay, cool. I like this now. But how long until this deck of cards falls down how long until like, I've given everything in my life up like, you never do anything consistently, like the negative self talk was. So no, as a creative, I finally found that once I hit 100 of something, I'm pretty much done.
Like I made just over 100 comics, I make just over 100, tiktoks, doing things like that, where I don't have to feel like I have to pick one thing and just do that one thing forever. Because that's not how my brain works. I want to get one thing until I get really good at that thing. And I have a collection. And then I can find something else to like, apply what I have to say to a different medium.
Gotcha. So basically, you're never bored. So once you get to that point where it's you lose a little bit of interest, and you've already challenged yourself, and it's become routine, new lane. The Donnie conductor is staring you that way. So now fast forward, you started with a blow up Twitter, because Aaron Brooks retweeted one of your first
¶ Dani envisioned "The Anti-Planner" as a procrastination "fire extinguisher".
ones. And now you've moved on to like, essentially putting all of your ideas together into this anti planner. So I want to talk about that. Because it's so different than what you see out there. It's not your typical book. It's viral copy. And it's colorful, there's tabs on it. So talk to us a little bit about that. What is in it? And what type of people this resonates with.
I was like, hoping I know I had one at my desk at one point. And I
Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? Maybe you need a plan or two for your essay.
It was really important. It's so pretty oil, because it was really important for me to have like that tactile experience and being able to be something that catches my eye. Because I like to keep it on my desk, even if it's not open. It's sort of some of its said, it's a productivity spell book, which I really like. Um, but like, what is this witchcraft?
Just go in there?
Yeah. It really it really is a lot of like recipes, essentially of like, or like experiments, right? If you have like, here's what you need. Here's what kinds of things it's for. And here's how you do it. And here are some tips. And so much of the book is in that format, but it's broken up by emotions that are kind of getting in the way of you getting the stuff done, that you
want to get done. And so whether you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed, unmotivated, disorganized and discouraged, and then each of those sections are further broken down into overwhelmed being like intimidated, overcommitted, panicking, or, like burnt out. And so how you're really feeling and it's got a little bullet so you can read what those kind of look like. And if you're reading it, you know, oh, my God, it's
me. Then you can go to that section and it's got little activities, exercises, games, strategies for you to try and see if that could help versus you having a giant book of like 165 Have on organized ideas like that. So go to versus being like, Here are 10 strategies that can help. And then at the bottom of that some of the pages, it's like this pairs well with this exercise on this page, or like, you might also like
this thing on here. And so being able to make them again, I made this for me initially, because I've been doing a lot of these things in the book for years and years. And so I started making something for myself so that I wouldn't forget all of the strategies that I've been picking up. And as I started to build I go, people would probably like this
guy's seen in my experience, that things that help me help other people and really blow up. So sounds like you have a vision there.
And then as I talk to more people with ADHD, and I'm like, nothing about me, it's original.
Your drawings are original, your ideas that are original, but yes, you're right. Isn't it crazy that other people feel the same way first
specific examples of things that you think you know, are just new things like the hour I leave, I have a bad habit of leaving half drink coffee cups on my desk until they grow mold, like science experiment, you know,
I saw that page. That's awesome. Speaking of which,
so actually one of the things that I've got upcoming, which I have not, I have not really announced anywhere yet. So it's secret, a
First Tee here, on successful with ADHD,
¶ Dani is launching a podcast and YouTube channel focusing on ADHD struggles.
I'm doing a podcast and YouTube channel. And so it's going to be about you know how to get stuff done, you don't feel like it's still, but it's each of the episodes will focus on a specific task that sucks. And so it might be doing dishes, doing laundry, filing your taxes, those episodes, it's gonna break down, here's the most common obstacles and why you're probably avoiding it. And then here are some solutions that directly can help with
those specific obstacles. And then I get to take all that stuff and put it in a in a follow up to the answer planner.
So I'm really excited. But it turns out that instead of just talking about ADHD, now, being able to figure out the byproducts of ADHD, right, that executive dysfunction, learning how to understand it from the inside out, and be able to like point at all of the things and be like, I want to understand why I keep doing this thing I don't want to do or why I keep not doing this thing that I want to do. Like it's not logical,
make it make sense. And then if you can see it for what it is and go oh, the reason I don't like doing dishes is I hate the feeling of that stuff on my hands. I have never worn gloves, like those big kitchen gloves while I'm doing dishes. I've never done it. My parents didn't do it. I haven't tried it. And then you do it. And you go, Oh, this fixed it.
Yeah, that one little thing. It's like a lot.
Yes. Or like the washing your face, right? Somebody on Twitter had mentioned putting on scrunchies it was like tennis wristband. So that when you're washing your face that like stream of water doesn't run down.
That's such a great idea. But yeah, I
guess you started washing your face more, right. And so finding out little facts like this, that can really, really help I want to be able to help share this knowledge and make impact on people's lives on a daily basis. With that like kind of mundane stuff versus the anti planner, I kind of call it a procrastination fire extinguisher. The point is not to use it every single day. The point is, when you're like, oh, I have so much stuff I want to
get done today. Or like, oh, like I've got this thing that I've been putting off and I want to take care of or like, oh my god, I have so much to do. That's when you reach for it. And so even it's got that reduction of shame and guilt that planners kind of have of oh, I stopped using this for months. Now it's I've got all these blank pages. And I feel like I don't want to touch this anymore, because it's a giant
reminder of my failure. Or I guess I'll just wait until January of next year, having something that doesn't have calendars or dates that is meant to be used sporadically. So if it's been a year since you used it, it's still as helpful as it was the day you bought it. And so that's really sort of my goal with the book was to create a toolbox, you know, kind of strategy guide that can help people when they need it.
More of like a reactive type thing when you're just having those bad executive function.
Hopefully it gives people that same kind of relief that I got when Jessica had mentioned on her YouTube channel, you know the laundry thing, huh?
¶ Dani's mission with her company, The Anti-Boring Project, for underserved populations.
That's huge. So that's what's next for you. So what so people can understand and it seems pretty obvious but what is your mission?
I have not talked about this anywhere else either. So coaching but I exclusive number two, my company is called the anti boring project. And so the anti planner right now is the first the first sort of like productivity arm have, you know of this company. But the idea is that I want to take things that are good in theory, and things that aren't helpful for other people, typically when it may be neurotypicals, or people who don't struggle with that thing.
And I want to make a version for the invisible people who are struggling and don't have a tool to get them to that same outcome. And so being able to, especially taking mundane things that aren't difficult for other people and making them entertaining, or fun, taking something that you know, maybe in the future being able to do accessibility device, so I've got a physical disability, also
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. And so eventually, D, this is years down the line, this is just an idea, but being able to make mobility devices that are really cool looking, and like stylish, because a lot of them look like medical devices. And in the same way that glasses, right glasses are a medical device that like you can pick, you've got tons of options, you've got really cool looking ones, there are people who,
who don't even need them. Right.
I just think that there are underserved populations out there people who deserve my stuff. And I really want to make cool creative stuff for those people. But also, first and foremost stuff that I want to I want other people
know that it's going to be an amazing product, because there's a need, and you've tested it for yourself. So you can sell anything if you yourself, believe in it, and you're doing this for you, but also for the greater good. So I think that's
awesome. Like, there's such a difference. When again, you've got that mentality of I'm building this for me and people like me, versus Oh, I found this niche target audience that I'm not a part of the I want to be able to exploit them to make money, or I want to find out I'm gonna try to, you know, maybe even ask other people what their experience is like in order to gain information to develop products. But it's still not coming from the authentic place of firsthand experience.
And I think that I hear you.
Yeah. Because there's a lot of
ADHD planners out there. And I look at it like this is a regular planner, which is with more stuff on it,
the word ADHD on top of it, come on, no, and
then they're selling. They've got, you know, 1000s of reviews on Etsy kind of thing. And, look, it's not to say that some people with ADHD can't use planners. But the issue that I kept running into with planners was that I had to copy like, I use my Google Calendar. Google Calendar is life. But yeah, I would have to
rewrite down yes. And then if a meeting got rescheduled, like it messed up my whole thing I would like to with your when, when it came down to it, it was so inconvenient that I dropped it, the momentum can keep going, if you decide that it's gonna keep going,
yep. captain, Captain, Donnie. It's gonna take you back onto the tracks. That's so funny, because there's so many like overlaps. And what you're saying with my upcoming book, activate your ADHD potential, I have a cover with like, lines that go all over the place until you get to where you need. And it's all about building and maintaining momentum. But with ADHD, we get burned out. You're right, we
¶ How Dani maintains momentum during the overwhelm and underwhelm cycle with "sprints".
have that overwhelm. But then we get that new setting a exciting idea after we get down to underwhelm. And then it starts all over again. And it's just that cycle, right? So how do you take that cycle and just keep moving and building and maintaining momentum with that, and you have such these, like practical tools that work for you, and are colorful and work for the community. So I love that.
Thank you, I think the big thing is that I specifically develop tools that are not, we're meant to not be used consistently. So that xpect internal expectation of if I can't keep this going, I failed, that storyline disappears. And so if you are planning, like I will pick a productivity strategy, and I'll be like, I'm just gonna do this this week. Or I'm just gonna do like the Kanban boards, I'm just gonna do
this. For this one, there's no attachment to it, there's no expectation and honestly, if I sometimes look at it, like a challenge, I'll do like a challenge where like, I'm gonna get up at 530 Every day, this week, and I'm gonna do three, I made a list of things, habits that I want to do more often I'm going to pick three of those things. I'm not going to tell myself what I'm going to do every morning. I'm going to let myself pick from this menu of options of things that I want to
do more often. And I'm going to do three of those. But I tell myself, I'm only going to do it for a week or sometimes I do two weeks and then sometimes that two weeks will pass by and I will continue doing it but like at it even like not giving it my all it's still so much more than giving it so I like really sprint so Then I can just kind of like meander down to a walk versus trying to get up to a walk, stay at a walk.
I like that. I like that. So it's interesting. So you're saying sprint, but really, like, you are telling yourself that you're going to do this thing in the way that you want to. And if it only lasts a week, that's fine. Or if the finish line, you don't make it, that's okay. Because you're going to do another thing that's going to continue to build that momentum for you. So it's just activating yourself
and being able to, to adjust what makes sense for you. And like, customize things, this is just sort of like a base to start from. And so I sort of look at trying new things in that way. When things don't work, it's not failure, it's just more information about what doesn't work.
Love it. Love it. So, there's definitely a theme that we've, you know, talked about here, you know, starting with what feels good to you, and then, you know, putting it out there, and not feeling like everything has to be an all or nothing thing, you can change things up. But what would be one
¶ Dani's number one ADHD tip!
thing that you'd want to leave people with here today, if they're looking for help with their ADHD, one success tip for them? Okay,
I'm gonna give one that's really short. But getting an ADHD coach is life changing. It was like, it was so helpful. And the mindset that I have now I was able to develop because of all the different things I've tried from ADHD coaching, having someone who was there to remind me that it was a failure in that, do we want to pivot? Or do we want to try something else, you know, having a guide will help it to sink in and stick. So that's sort of part one, but that's not accessible to
everybody. Because, you know, coaching takes money, and there's things cost a lot more money than they used to. So that's not a viable option for everybody. But as far as a general one, for kind of success, I really would say, learning to write, like, write down the things that have worked for you at some point, so that when you forget, you've got that list. I feel like I keep discovering the same things in therapy, because I wasn't writing it down. And I forget that I already had that
epiphany. You know, it's crazy how fast things kind of fall out of my brain. And so having that sort of menu of things that you could try trying to get have that mentality that you don't have to stick with it forever. I love that the body doubling thing. Okay, I'll do that the body doubling thing is amazing.
¶ Dani explains the power of body doubling.
So I knew there wasn't just one here.
Yeah, the body doubling thing is amazing. For anyone who doesn't know what it is, it's where you just work alongside someone else, typically who might be doing their own work. And you're working quietly. And my favorite thing to do is virtually with friends just set up like an online meeting. And we will share a screen that's got a Pomodoro timer on it. So we'll do 25 minutes of working everybody on mute, and then we'll set you know that will go off, we'll do five minutes of
talking. And we'll talk about what we got done and what we're going to do for the next time or, and then we put ourselves back on mute started another 25 minute timer. And so I call it avoidance Murder Party, because we always do the things we've been dreading the most. And so if there's something during the week that comes up, that's like, Oh my God, I don't want to deal with this. I go, I'm gonna put the IBO list. I'm gonna go, I'll put this in my voice. We're at a
party list. And I'll get to that, you know, I have got a plan today to take care of the most unpleasant things with people that I liked, and I can complain about the whole time.
I love it your terminology for things. That's great. And before we go, can you share one thing that you
¶ If she could go back, Dani would tell her younger self this.
would tell Danny, before she was 18? Now that you know your ADHD,
you're not as weird as you think you are. You're really not. There's a lot of people who are just like you, you just haven't met them yet.
Or own you're weird, right? Well, I
was I mean, I was only my weird, but it was one of those things where I really let it get to me more. And so now, so much of my confidence has not just come from like, Oh, I've gotten pretty successful. The things I've tried to it is a lot of I have talked to so many people who are now able to be open about their struggles and, you know, our understanding and need someone to be seen that when someone tries to tell me that's not ADHD, you're just
lazy. I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about, like you know, ADHD. So when you're able to kind of deal with those feelings and truly except like, I am struggling because my brain is literally wired differently. And so holding myself to the same expectations is not only unfair, but it's going to set me Yep, four cycles of disappointment and low self esteem and self anger. And you only can start letting that go.
Once you start to accept that, like you have to find a way to do things your way, because a lot of times other people's ways are not going to be, you know what helps you in the long term.
I'd love that. So we'll definitely share. Yay, we'll definitely share your links in the show notes. And Danny, thank you so much for coming on successful with ADHD. So good to see your face. And hear your story. I know this is going to impact a lot of people who might be 18 year old Danny or 18, and a half or 32 year old Danny or even 50 year old Danny. So really appreciate you sharing your story to impact hundreds of 1000s of people out there.
Thank you so much for having me.
Thanks for listening to this episode of successful with ADHD. I hope it helps you on your journey. And if you need any additional support for you, or a loved one with ADHD, feel free to reach out to us at coaching with brooke.com and all social media platforms at coaching with Brooke. And remember, it's Brooke with Annie, thanks again for listening. See you next time.