¶ Intro / Opening
Before speaking about ADHD, the diagnosis itself isn't apart, having the symptoms of ADHD come with the diagnosis. But then you also have a lot of behavioral or internal experiences that accompany the ADHD. And that's where ifs can come into it. Like I mentioned, procrastination is often an internal experience that one encounters with ADHD. And so procrastination is the part that's the manager or the
protector that steps in. When a person is experiencing a vulnerability from the past as they're taking on a new task, or, you know, just trying to manage life in general with my ADHD. I'm very sensitive to rejection. That's a part that's a wounded part within me that's becoming alive.
Welcome to successful with ADHD. I'm Brooke Shipman. Let's get started. Welcome back to successful with ADHD. Today I have the pleasure of introducing Polina Siegel, who's a licensed clinical social worker and a certified addiction specialists we know how prevalent addiction is in ADHD.
She's also a master level trained mindfulness practitioner and began her clinical career working with Gen Z and millennials struggling with mental health and or addiction and had the privilege of working with these individuals. Throughout her six years in community mental health. Paulina launched courageous paths counseling in Colorado and Illinois and exclusively serve 15 to 43 year old, she utilizes a generalization approach to address the unique needs of
these individuals. And today, we are going to be talking about internal family systems, also known as ifs ands, I am thrilled that Paulie is going to be on with us. And she's actually going to give and show us an exercise of how ifs works. We're always looking for new ways to treat ADHD, because it's not just what's over the iceberg. There's a lot of trauma, addiction, and negative thoughts that go along with ADHD. So welcome. Thank you so much. I'm
really honored to be here. So Paulie, I know that ADHD is a subset of what you work with, if you could just tell us what ifs
¶ What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
is, and how it helps ADHD. I think the viewers would love to hear about that. Yeah, so ifs is internal family systems. It was created in the 1980s by Richard Schwartz. It's an evidence based psychotherapy. So we have a lot of research behind it and a lot of evidence to know that it's, it clinically works. And really, what it does is it views a human as not just one being, but a person is made up of multiple
parts. And those multiple parts are what allows someone to connect to themselves connect to others to the world, those parts influence how people navigate or orient through the world. And that we're very complex beings that have a lot of different, again, parts that make up who we are, as well, as you know, we're just multi dimensional. And it's really important to view ourselves as multi dimensional, even though society just tells us, we have one personality. Yeah, it reminds me of that math
thing. Something equals all the sum of its parts. Yeah. Do you know that quote, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts? Yes, we are not just what we see on the outside, we're not just the tip of the iceberg. We're not just a label, there's a lot of things that go into us. We are complex humans. Yes, very
complex. And I think when we you, when we look at ourselves through an ifs lens, the way that the model works is that we have, you know, wounded inner parts, parts of ourselves where we had faced adversity, hardships, struggle, really painful experiences. And those vulnerabilities created parts that are very painful and wounded. And then we have protector parts, which developed as a way to shield us from experiencing the vulnerable,
painful things that we've gone through. So you within us we have wounded parts, and then we have protector parts and these protector parts keep us from experiencing the painful yuck that we've encountered in the past. And so when we're like navigating the worlds either wounded parts are shining or are alive within us or we have managers thing those those elements of ourselves that keep us safe, that allow us to not have to experience pain.
¶ Does everyone have wounded parts?
So Would you say that neurotypical or not everyone has wounded parts?
Oh, I would say every human has wounded parts. Okay. I mean, how could someone not have a wounded part? Just considering any everything that we encounter in the world? Sure, like life is really hard and painful.
So would you say that every single human has experienced trauma, then?
I mean, I think trauma is a very expansive term, I think every person has faced adversity and hardship. And that has left an imprint in, in their mind, body and spirit. Yeah. And especially with someone who has struggled with ADHD or is neurodivergent, there's a lot of struggle that we encounter is they say, We, because I also
have ADHD. And, you know, whether that was struggles academically growing up or struggles interpersonally or socially, like there, there are challenges and those challenges leave an imprint and make and make us have to adapt because of those challenges.
¶ Paulina's ADHD journey
When did you get diagnosed?
I got diagnosed in second grade?
Have you used ifs on yourself to manage your ADHD?
You know, it's so it's such an interesting question, because I was not involved in any mental health. Like I wasn't working with a therapist growing up. But I almost instinctively kind of knew that I was made up of all these different parts and different parts would become active within me, or would become more dormant depending on the situation that I was in, as I was navigating the academic world. And so I never knew how to label that as ifs, but I
think I was aware of it. And Now certainly, you know, being educated in the practice and doing it with clients day in and day out. I absolutely pay attention to all of my intricate parts that that come alive in certain moments. And then I'm really curious and exploratory with them. And I really try to be allies to those internal experiences.
Yeah. So would you say that your metacognition has been a strength of yours? Just seeing things from a bird's eye view? How are things happening right? Now, definitely got executive functioning skill is a strength of yours.
Yeah, I mean, I had a lot of intervention from a young age, my mom took, you know, my diagnosis very seriously. And she went full throttle into making sure that I had every resource and every opportunity possible, which I'm so so grateful for, because I'm not sure you know, who I would be today without all of the intervention, but the ADHD, and, you know, I also was diagnosed with working memory issues, and
slower processing and beads. And so I created systems, you know, systems were the only way for me to thrive. And there was a lot of rigidity around what I did, how I did it, when I did it, the restructure. And I think that's what allowed me to help with strengthen my executive functioning.
I'm glad that you brought up structure because I completely agree that we thrive off structure but hated at the same time, right. But also, we put so much pressure on
¶ The role of curiosity
ourselves to have structure and be productive. And I think that it's a balance, like anything in life, where, you know, when I first started coaching and working with ADHD years, I'm like, You need structure, you need structure, you need structure, and then when you have it down, then you're gonna know what to expect and both but but at the same time, it has to be realistic, right? And we also have to know that it's okay, if we don't follow that structure
every day. So I think that that's where ifs can really come in and play its part because there's stories that we tell ourselves that we're not good enough, or we'll never be, or we're not reaching our potential. All of those things. When we don't follow our structure, we can create this structure that is really damaging. So how do we balance the two?
Well, I think with ifs, we're being curious to the cognitive component, which is what you just named, like, the different stories or the narratives or the beliefs that the brain tells us. Well, we're also really paying attention to what's happening internally in our body. The different impulses, urges, sensations, bodily experiences, just somatically what's happening in our body and the combination between cognitively the storytelling. I'm not good enough. I'm gonna fail. I'm
unlovable, right? I mean, there's so many different beliefs and narratives our brain tells us paired with our body experience. That's where ifs comes in with a lot of curiosity and X exploration to really understand what's happening. And what role is, is that part playing?
That's good. Yeah, coming from a place of curiosity, meeting yourself where you are, and always being a learner of yourself. Because we are always understanding ourselves. It's interesting because again, when people come to coaching with Brooke, they're like, I want to be more productive. I want to be more organized, you know, baba, baba, bah. And we take a step back for a second and say, kind of like, you know, looking internally, well, what does that look like
to you? Right? Let's clear some of the chaos out first, do the fundamental and foundational stage first, before we build this massive structure in ourselves, because we have to be kind to ourselves, we have to slow down those negative habits, those negative thoughts. So then we can do that small actionable goal. And with ifs or taking a look at yourself internally. I think that's just a lifelong practice. What do you think?
Oh, absolutely. And we have a lot of subset of family families within us. So people will say internal family systems is this therapy with families. And I'm like, one
¶ Enemies vs allies in IFS parts
would maybe guess that, but it's actually our internal families. So these parts are different family members, and those parts interact with one another. And some parts are allies, and some parts are enemies to one another, just like you would see in a normal family, like a real life family. And when we get really curious to each of these family members within us are the subsets. So like, if we're speaking about ADHD, the diagnosis itself isn't apart,
okay. And I want to kind of emphasize that so like, you know, having the symptoms of ADHD come with the diagnosis. But then you also have a lot of behavioral or internal experiences that accompany the ADHD. And that's where ifs can come into it. Like I mentioned, in our Facebook, live, procrastination is often an internal experience that one
encounters with ADHD. And so crass donation is the part that's the manager or the protector that steps in, when a person is experiencing a vulnerability from the past as they're taking on a new task, or trying to complete a task or, you know, just trying to manage life in general.
Absolutely. Again, like, if you look at a label, like ADHD, that's not, that's not the parts, we got to look at the symptoms and how it's manifesting and your history, the behavioral pieces, the actions, those are your parts. So I would say then, there, from what I'm gathering, there are different families and different people.
Yeah, so like, we have a subset of families for a variety that show up at different points in our life. Okay, and so that's why we always need to be curious and tune into ourselves in moments. So for instance, with with my ADHD, I'm very sensitive to rejection. highly sensitive to rejection. That's a part. Right, that's, that's a, that's a wounded part within me, that becomes active when I sense rejection, or dismissal or
withdrawal of love. So that's where I could use ifs to be like, let's say, I'm interacting with a friend and I send a message that I'm really excited about, and they send back a message and I determined it's not as it's not as enthusiastic as I really wanted it to be. And they
say, okay, or thumbs up, like, wait, I just put so much effort into this deck. That's all I got.
Yeah, and I use like, 50 exclamation points, and they just wrote like, you know, okay, in that moment, I could close my eyes and tune into ooh, I feel tightness in my chest. Okay. And then, you know, and I'm sure in this episode, we'll go through some ifs exercises, but that's that's a wounded part within me that's becoming alive.
Yeah, and Dr. William Dodson talks about like the punch in the chest with rejection sensitive dysphoria and ADHD years. That's what feels like when they feel that sense of rejection. So what would you say? Is there a
¶ Common wounded parts that show up with ADHD
formula or I know you're gonna probably say everyone's different. You said some of the parts are enemies and some of the parts are friends. And is there any common ones that are enemies and common ones that are friends? Interest
In specifically with ADHD.
Sure, yeah.
Let's process this together, I think because it's I've never actually thought of this question. So I don't have a prepared answer, but I think we can probably discover it together. So, let's, let's name different symptoms of ADHD. I'm gonna I'm gonna look at you because you are the guru expert. Shame. Okay. So shame is a wounded part.
We talked about procrastination, time management, which is a part of procrastination is a part of time management, time blindness, which is a part of time management, sustained attention. So being able to pay attention for a long period of time shifting attention from one thing to another and back. That's difficult for us working memory as you mentioned, processing speed, emotions. The shame falls in the motion overwhelm underwhelm.
Hmm. I would say you know, seeking out dopamine, like really want to get like Enos and novelty,
actually, I talked about the 10 disruptors of ADHD in my upcoming book. And it's underwhelm exciting new idea. Dopamine hyperfocus, burnout RSD. So now comparing yourself to others, also getting that overwhelming sense of rejection, and then shutting down. And I think I skipped a couple. But that's the overall the overarching cycle that ADHD is go through.
Okay, so I'm really glad you mentioned those, because just from that alone, I could see maybe a relationship between offense to family members that might have tension or discourse. So burnout, we experienced when we're overdoing. Right when we're in Cheeto mode, and we're going, going going, and we're tackling so much, and we're not, we're not allowing ourselves to have
balance or rest. Okay, so that's one activation within us that drives us or an impulse to to achieve and do well, then you have procrastination, will procrastination is a withdrawal, right that's wanting to avoid or distract or numb or do anything to not have to take to take action. So you could see how those parts might be at odds.
Hmm, yeah, yeah. And you could also be at burnout, because you are procrastinating, those thoughts are just wild. And then you burn out based on all those negative thoughts that you're procrastinating. So it can be playing on both ends of the burnout.
For sure. I would say classically, though, we think of burnout as people doing too much or, you know, their their play is toppling over. And so you have this, this part of you that wants to go go go. And then there's a conflicting part. That's like, Yeah, let's just like no, no, no, no, we're not going to do that. So yeah, we'll do it tomorrow. I'll figure it out. I'll get it done on X day. And so like, those are like, not allies, because they're, they're pulling in different directions.
Yeah. So what would you say our allies and how do those help us? So should we mention some other classic ADHD
¶ Common allies in IFS parts
symptoms?
Yeah, let's keep going. Because I think this helps people conceptualize their own experience.
Yeah, all or nothing thinking. They have to do it now. And they have to do everything right now. Or not now. Being like a sensory type of overload with feelings of sound, smell, touch. That can be challenging, visual, sensory overwhelm. We know executive dysfunction, getting fired from a job not knowing, having a really good intuition about things but not trusting it. So we get those gut feelings and they're usually right, with ADHD because we're hypersensitive. So
we take everything in. But then, unless we're confident, we don't trust our gut.
It's funny, I'm seeing more of the potential enemies than I am the allies in these examples. Which is it which is not necessarily a bad thing? I mean,
how about this, having the potential working really hard getting the job, but then not succeeding in the job because of your executive dysfunction? I guess those are enemies again.
Right, right. And it's actually interesting to think about how different disorders, whether it's an anxiety disorder, or depressive or stress related trauma, how sometimes those disorders or those parts, maybe work more in congruence with one another, whereas some disorders might have more tension or pull between different parts. I think that that's something to notice,
too. I think the way to think about it, though, is when I'm experiencing ADHD, like when the when those symptoms or behavioral responses are active, which ones seem to work together? Which ones seem to go hand in hand. Which one seems
when I'm experiencing ADHD symptoms, you're saying which ones go hand in hand?
Yeah, which ones seem to accompany one another. Because that could be another way of thinking about ally ship between parts,
I would say and again, sometimes it could be perceived as negative, but doing everything all at once and then procrastinating on the things that you intended to do. So those are they accompany one another? No? Absolutely.
Yeah. Ally ship maybe is an interesting term, because we think of it as like, best friends beautiful connection, like they support one another. But sometimes it can just be that they they ride together. You know, they're they're both in the front seat of a car together.
What about people pleasing, and having a fast friendship?
Ooh, you just made me think of it. So people pleasing, right? Very common with ADHD. And the desire for connection and approval? Yes. Right. Those would be two, two parts that probably ride together.
All right. So I am sure people want to know how ifs works. Now that we've distinguished a lot of parts of
¶ Live IFS exercise example
ADHD. I know on our Instagram live two days ago, we did a experience for a short little sample of what it can look like. And you worked with me on procrastination. So for those of you who want to see that one, specifically, tune in to our Instagram Live on Shutterstock insurance and coaching brah. But for today, let's do another one.
Beautiful. So I want this to be really authentic. Because these exercises work well when they're not performative, right, when they're really bringing out the realness within us. Think about something recently broke that you feel like you're noticing within yourself as a struggle that's associated with your ADHD. It's the thing that bothers you the most that you feel the most yuck towards. And there's just judgment where you're like, Oh, I wish this would stop.
You anxiety relating to my negative thoughts?
Great. Let's go with that. Okay, so if you were in my office, and you were we were doing ifs, this is how this exercise would go. So at first, I would identify just like we did, what is the most challenging part that you're noticing associated with your ADHD? And Brooke said, anxiety related to my negative thoughts.
So we would first identify what's the challenging part, which we just did, I'm just kind of offering that to people as their as their thinking like, when you start this process, think about your most challenging part associated with ADHD. Got it? Check. So go ahead and close your eyes and they just want you to take like three deep breaths just to get into your body okay, and I want you to think about just a recent example of when that anxiety was active
within you. And it might be easier to identify the negative thoughts that that tend to go with the anxiety and I want you to describe the sensation in your body when that anxiety is full throttle.
I feel out of my body when that happens. I feel out of control. And I feel tense and then battling myself like this pain Bong, almost like I know I don't I shouldn't think this way. And I've been able to manage it in the past what's happening right now.
And when you feel out of your body, it does that feel dissociative? Yeah, kinda. Yeah. Which which obviously is that's a part. That's a part that yeah,
you say see it sometimes? Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Did one EMDR session and the therapist said you're dissociating a lot.
Yeah. Okay, so through ifs, that's a protector part. It's pulling you out of your body. It's making you disconnected so that you don't have to feel. Yeah. Right. And that happens a lot with ADHD because we're so overwhelmed. And we feel inner chaos. And inner chaos is so exhilarating in the worst way possible to our nervous system. Yeah. Okay, so let's go back to the anxiety when you feel anxiety. Where does it sit in your body?
Here? my shoulders, my chest? My quads? My toes? My hands.
Okay, and where do you feel like it's the strongest? My shoulders, and you sort of pointed to your neck and your chest area? Yeah. Okay. So go ahead and close your eyes again. And I want you to just focus on that area in your chest, throat and shoulders. And you're just observing here, you're not doing anything with it. You're just noticing from a distance, the sensation of it?
And when you
feel like you're connected to it, give me a thumbs up. Okay, I want you to ask this anxiety. What do you want me to know? And you don't need to think of the answer. The answer will appear in your mind because part speak to us.
The only thing that comes to mind immediately is I'm protecting you, which kind of might be your voice in my head. I'm not sure. Okay. Let's go with that.
So, I'm protecting you. Go ahead and ask it. How old is it think you are? A beautiful, okay. I'll explain more about why that number came to us. Okay, eight years old. So it believes that Brooke is eight. Go ahead and ask it does it trust you?
Okay, now,
now, also also really common. Our parts don't always believe in us. Okay. I want you to ask it, Brooke, what are you afraid would happen if you didn't do your job inside of me? So if this were to disappear, what is it afraid would happen if it no longer was in you?
Oh, get hurt. That's easy. For me. That immediately came up. Yeah.
Yeah, you would experience pain. Okay, beautiful. You're doing awesome here. Go ahead and ask it. What does it need from you? In order to feel safe?
A hug. The beautiful.
I want you to imagine giving this anxiety this sensation a hug right now. Yeah, and you can use your breath to do that. And I want you to describe to our listeners, what are you noticing as you extend love and compassion to this?
A smile on my face or like my internal child's and also just a state of calm, like, believe it or not, and I'm not be asking here. I feel like less pressure on my chest and in my neck and my shoulders. I'm still a little short on breath. But besides that, I feel a lot more at peace.
Beautiful. And so just to explain what's happening is when we are curious, and we are gentle with our parts, and we extend love and compassion to them when they're struggling. They soften. Right you notice physiologically your body? Your body released? Yes. Yeah. And that's that's part of the work here. So before we wrap up this exercise, I want you to extend gratitude to this part. So as you close your eyes I want you to say in your own
words. Thank you so much for providing me insight For sharing information I needed to know for showing up and engaging with me when I needed you to. And I'm very thankful for that. And that I will return and be with you soon that this is in our last conversation.
Yeah. Now, that was great. And I have a similar feeling to the feeling that I did when I did EMDR. Now
¶ How IFS and EMDR work together
I know that the technique is different. How does the results differ with EMDR and IFS for those people out there who know what EMDR is?
Yeah, and as an EMDR, clinician, I use EMDR. And ifs in conjunction every session. Because they work beautifully together. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, we can do that through tapping through eye movements through buzzers, and it's activating the left and right hemisphere to create more integration because trauma or intense stressors, sever integration in the brain. And so what's interesting is when we're doing EMDR, and different emotions come up, or different feelings come up, or cognitions
come up. I'm not good enough, I'm unlovable, I'm a failure. We want to take those moments to see are these wounded parts, or another term for that and IFS is exiled parts, the parts of ourselves that we have banished, that we never want to feel that are so painful and yucky. So when that comes up in EMDR, we can pause in a set and do this exercise. What do you want me to know? What age do you think I am? Do you trust me? What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do your job inside of me?
And then we can notice protector parts or managers and how that shows up in EMDR. So I guess to come back to your original question, it's creating integration. Both ifs and EMDR. Do the same thing. It's just a different route to create integration in harmony.
Gotcha. And how long I know it's different for everyone. But how long do the facts last?
¶ How long IFS results last
Inter interesting for ifs are EMDR. Ifs, it's an ongoing work in progress, like your managers or protector parts are going to activate probably through the end of time. But once you as the self, so something that I didn't mention is that ifs believes there's the core self. And then you have your parts that
surround the self. And so the poor self, which is like me as Paulina, you as Brooke, that we need to develop leadership with our parts, so that we as the leader can interact with all of these different internal experiences, and be able to relate to them with kindness and compassion and allow them to trust us, so that we can work as a very effective team. And so when you asked that anxiety
broke, do you trust me? It said, Hell no. Right, that tells me already that we need to work on integration of the parts, because that part is skeptical of you. It's like, I don't trust the leader here. Think about that. In a military sense. No. It would be everyone would die. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Same thing with our part. Yeah,
that's fascinating. If you had asked me a different question, do you trust your structure? Do you trust your routine? Yes, I trust all of that. I think xiety piece is something that everyone with ADHD experiences. And you could have anxiety related to your ADHD or you could have an anxiety disorder. I have an anxiety disorder. Like you said, ifs and EMDR were together, but coaching and ifs and EMDR work together to because you need both. You need all the parts. It's a team.
It's a team. Absolutely. And and Richard Schwartz's book, no bad parts. I love the title of that, because there really isn't any bad part. That anxiety is trying to keep you safe. And we learned that because when we asked, What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do your job? It said you'd get hurt. Yeah, right. That's protection right there. Right.
So I'm curious, there's no bad parts.
¶ Treating anxiety and dissociation with IFS
But do you teach people to just have compassion for those parts or to figure out ways to lessen their anxiety or kind of release some of those parts?
It's a great question. So foundationally, when we think about parts, what we have to remember is that our managers, also known as protector parts, that they are burdened. They don't want this role. They're actually exhausted, they're tired, they're overworked. And they were forced into this role, whether that was throughout childhood or adolescence, and they don't want to have to be an overdrive anymore. They want to
be unburdened. And so like that anxiety that's trying to keep you safe from feeling vulnerability or hurt. It doesn't want to be there anymore. But it's only going to feel safe to surrender once it trusts you as the leader. So to think, again, just like a bunch of soldiers and a captain, the soldiers are going to be hyper vigilant until they can trust the captain. They need to feel safe in order to be able to complete their mission.
So with dissociation, to protect yourself, is that something with ifs, and you're trying to make feel safe, where the person doesn't like me doesn't dissociate? When I'm feeling threatened?
Yes, so just to just to speak to dissociation, dissociation is normal, it is an evolutionary process, all of us dissociate multiple times throughout the day, both you and I have dissociated in this podcast. And it might just be, there might just be a nanosecond, right. But what happens is, is when it becomes a chronic state, where people have to check out in order to remain safe, that's when it can be
problematic. And so ifs would look at dissociation as how can we start to create safety to be in your body, create tolerance or endurance to hold space for the Yaker the pain, so that it does so that that manager doesn't need to pull you out? And numb you? Gotcha. Okay, so it's not about getting rid of dissociation, it's about really looking at what are the extreme
times that it happens? And can we create more leadership with that manager or safety with that manager so that it doesn't have to do it so fiercely?
And would one of the tools besides, of course, you know, speaking up and all of the things that you can do? Would it be surrounding yourself with people that make you feel safe? So you don't have to?
Yeah, I mean, I, I'm a huge proponent of community, our tribe is everything to our survival and our ability to thrive. I don't know if having great support is enough to stop dissociation altogether. I mean, a lot of people with dissociative disorders or dissociation, in their trauma have great support systems. It certainly helps. But I wouldn't say it's the answer.
Gotcha, gotcha. So what would you say, based on our conversations today, you would want to leave our listeners with,
¶ Parting words of wisdom for listeners
I would take a moment, and I would think about all of the facets of your ADHD, like Brooke did a beautiful job of explaining the more common symptoms that people notice. But I would just make a list and write it down, like write it out, and just get a good
picture. And then what I would do is try to see maybe how those interact with one another, which ones seemed to work together, which ones might seem more allied, which ones seem to create friction, or discourse or pull in the opposite direction, I think getting a really good understanding of how those inner workings relate to one another is really important. I would also identify what's your most challenging part when it comes to ADHD? What's the part of yourself that you're like, I
frickin hate this. This is so annoying. I want it to go away. It creates so much interference in my life, and I just want it to be gone. That's the part that I think is most important to maybe even start with, so that you can start to change your relationship as the self as the leader with that challenging part.
Okay, and I agree with that. And I want to just say that, like, let's say the most annoying thing in your ADHD is a weakness of yours, your weakness is never gonna be gone per se. Maybe it's a way that you think of the weakness.
It's the way that you relate to the weakness. It's your relationship with the weakness because if you're hating on it, and you're judging it and you're critiquing it, there's no way for that part to feel safe with you as the leader. Totally. And if we're trying to work towards inner harmony or integration, just like the soldiers with the captain, there has to be a good relationship for it to work.
Yeah, so the way that I see this coming together is in coaching, we focus on our strengths, right? While building up our weaknesses a little bit. And then you also are sharing with our listeners here that like, you can live in your weaknesses and just build a better relationship with that. So it's not just building up your strengths. It's how you're like the story. You're telling yourself with your weaknesses in the relationship so you can manage it and feel more peace.
Yeah, yes, part of my ADHD comes with a lot of impulsivity. And I judge the shit out of my impulsivity. Like, I'm so mean towards it. And actually, when I got curious, and I tuned into it, and I asked him the same questions that you and I went through Brooke, I'm like, Oh, my impulsivity is trying to create live energetic, yummy energy. Oh, that's, that's pretty cool. Like I, I kind of appreciate that this part wants me to feel fun and energetic and alive and excited. That's such a bad
thing. Right? That's the difference. So it's
reframing that? Yes. So if someone wants help, I would love for you to share where they can find you.
So if you're wanting to just dip your toes, I would certainly buy the book, no bad parts by Richard Schwartz. It's phenomenal. And it has a lot of guided exercises just like we did today. So it's very hands on. If you want to do ifs with a trained professional, I offer counseling services in Colorado and Illinois. So if you live in either of those states, and you want to start the ifs or EMDR journey, I am here and can be supportive. And then yeah, we have a podcast called shit
talking shrinks. It covers all different mental health topics. It's not just about ifs or ADHD, it covers a lot of different realms. So if you want to, you know, want a little bit of versatility, you can add there.
¶ Where to find Paulina and learn more
I love that. And we'll put this the links in the show notes. But thank you so much for coming on Polina, it's great seeing you again. And this was really, for those of you who are watching or listening the this I feel a sense of calm, honestly. There's just so much to be curious about. So I appreciate the knowledge because you just don't know what you don't know. And you're helping people know more about themselves by asking them the right questions.
Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you for having me. It's a privilege.
Thanks for listening to this episode of successful with ADHD. I hope it helps you on your journey. And if you need any additional support for you or a loved one with ADHD, feel free to reach out to us at coaching with brooke.com and all social media platforms at coaching with Brooke and remember, it's Brooke with Annie. Thanks again for listening. See you next time.