38. [STURDY SHORT] A Pep Talk For Body Image Spirals

I'm your host , jess Heiss , dropping episodes every Friday , as we help you make the most of your Sturdy Girl summer . That is , reclaiming body confidence , wearing the swimsuit and doing the kinds of activities you want without letting your body or appearance hold you back . Hello , my sturdy friends , and welcome back to episode 38 of season 3 of Sturdy Girl .

We have this episode and one more episode until we are done with season 3 . We'll be taking a , I think , three-week break , if I remember correctly , before jumping into season four in September , which is wild to me . But we're gonna do a little something different today You're gonna bear with me , because I feel like this is so needed for myself and for you .

Maybe . So a little set the scene moment here . We all have bad body image days . We all have those thought spirals that we can get into , even when we have a healthy body image . So this is me speaking directly to you during a body image spiral . It is short , heartfelt and intensely personal .

Like I said , it's a little different than the way we've previously done episodes , but I want this episode to be that one episode that you have downloaded to revisit , on just this kind of body image day , a few minutes of someone who is wholeheartedly in your corner because I am reminding you of how resilient and powerful you really are . So let's begin .

Let's start by taking a deep breath in through your nose for four counts One , two , three , four , pause and you're going to slowly exhale through your mouth .

Now , I don't know if you're like me in this moment , but when someone says to take a deep breath when I'm reading a book , or when someone mentions a yawn out loud , I follow through , I yawn , I'm the one that takes a deep breath . So in this moment , I just take a few moments to take a big deep breath .

And we're going to start with two gigantic reminders One , your body is simply the meat sack that allows you to experience the magic in this world . It is only one singular part of who you are , a small piece of the puzzle , not the whole . And two , it is okay to have moments , hours or days where you do not like your body .

Your feelings are valid and it is 100% important to acknowledge them . Let me repeat that it is okay to have moments , hours or even days where you do not like your body . The important part is acknowledging acknowledging those feelings .

Your body and mind are strong , resilient and helped you make it through 100% of your lived experiences so far , and I'd say that's a pretty good track record for the likelihood that you're going to make it through today . But seriously , friend that meat sack your body . It's not what gives life meaning .

The days we don't feel good in our body aren't the ones that define us . Nor does our body or our appearance define who we are . These kinds of days are going to come up , no matter what your body looks like , no matter how healthy your body image is , no matter what kind of lifestyle or level of physical activity you pursue .

And , as much as I hate when people tell me this , these negative feelings will pass . So let's give this a little perspective One . What if I told you that our goal here is not to get rid of the negative thoughts , because getting rid of negative thoughts isn't possible ?

Yes , we can decrease the number of negative thoughts in our head , and that's a topic for another time . But our goal here is to give space for those negative thoughts to come up and let them be just that thoughts . You don't have to latch on or identify with those thoughts . They don't have to mean anything about you if you don't want them to .

They're just words swirling around inside your head too . I want you to think about your favorite human on this planet your partner , a parent , a sibling , a best friend . If they came to you and said God , I am just feeling really shitty about my body today .

These rules on my stomach make me feel worthless , and none of the clothes I put on fit right or feel good . I really just I want people to see that I have these defined shoulders that I've worked so hard for . How are you going to respond to them ? Are you going to get upset with them for not having achieved the body that they seem to want ?

Are you going to judge them for feeling negatively for being in this state ? Not at all . You're going to , first of all , be kind to them . You're going to be gentle and certainly not harsh . You'll want to tell them about their amazing qualities as a human , the things that you love about them that have nothing to do with their appearance .

So , if you feel up for it , let's shift this friend talk onto ourselves to remind us that we , you , are a rad , strong and resilient human who isn't going to let one day , one hour and one body image spiral or a series of negative thoughts create a bad life .

Let those negative thoughts come up , but take that deep breath and ask yourself if the things you're saying to yourself are things that we would say to a friend . Are they really true ? How can we reframe here ? How can you reframe here ? Third perspective here Can we ask some questions to remind ourselves of the incredible human being that we are ?

Sometimes these questions are not ones that we want to contemplate during our spiral , let alone answer , and I 100% acknowledge this . So , questions what are some things that you do well ? What are some things that make you proud of yourself ? Is it your ability to turn everything into a dick joke , to be able to devour a book in one sitting ?

Are you an amazing dog , mom ? Have you managed to keep your houseplants alive and thriving ? What about your ability to soak in the smell and sight of gorgeous flowers , to hug your loved ones , no matter what your arms look like , to have strong legs that allow you to do all the activities that you love . Are you maybe a really good listener ? Friend ?

Your kindness , your compassion , your sense of humor , your ability to be a good friend and human to others these are the qualities that truly matter and are important in this life of 75 summers , not the size of your clothes or the number on the scale . You're not alone , friend . Reach out to someone you know loves and cares about you . We care about you .

This point is so

huge .

When you're struggling , please don't isolate yourself , and I know it's so easy to do , but there is true power in being with others who are supportive , who are there to listen , who are there to be a shoulder , whatever you might need , and then , from there , can you take a few moments to engage in something that feels good and feels like self-care , and only

you can answer what self-care feels like to you right now . But when we are in these spirals , it is even more important to take the time to take care of you . Your worth is not found in your brain cells or your fat cells . You are inherently worthy for being here , for being human .

So , regardless of your thoughts about your body right now , you are worthy of love , respect , care and nourishment , and so is your body . I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug , so much love and the reminder that I am always in your corner . My DMs are open and , friend , you've got this , even if it might not feel like it right now .

All right , friends , that felt really good . I hope that some of this resonated with you , helped you in these days of body image spirals , to know that you have someone else in your corner and know that you're not alone .

Whether you have healthy body image , positive body image , body neutrality , whatever it might be , or you're just straight up struggling , we all have days like this that are triggered by different things , and that's why we're here . Again . I will reiterate DMs are open , always happy to chat . Friends , happy Friday , I'll talk to you next week .