Brought to you by the all new twenty fourteen Toyota Corolla. Welcome to you stuff you should know from HowStuffWorks dot Com.
Hey, and welcome to the podcast, The Very Special Podcast. I'm Josh Clark, Charles Bryant, Jerry Rowling, and we're here.
The Gang's all here.
Yeah. Oh oh that was hearty. Yeah.
Man, this is one of my favorite episodes of the year. This and Halloween.
Yeah.
Typically we're recording this one a little early, I feel like, but it's okay.
Are you sure we can Postpon's okay? All right, let's do it.
Yeah.
I'm excited about this.
I think this is is July. This is it weird December? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, at least we waited until December. Yeah. This is a good way to kick off the season for us.
Agreed.
So we have like a whole month to just feel great. That's right, that's what the this is all about, Chuck, Feeling great. Yeah, that's that's the Christmas spirit. Feeling great, drinking hot buttered drum. Yeah that's man. I'll tell you what. That put me in a mood for it. I've never had one. I haven't either.
Well, I am going to this year.
I think I will be joining you.
I didn't know you actually put butter in a drink. Yeah, I just thought it was called that because it was like buttery or something.
Like a buttery nipple. Yeah, yeah, that didn't no butter in it.
It sure doesn't, all right, but that's coming up.
Yeah, let's not get ahead of her.
No, no, we don't want to spoil the hot buttered rum segment.
Yeah, we just wanted to say welcome to the Christmas Extravaganza twenty thirteen. That's right, So Chuck, let's kick it all off.
Yeah.
You ever heard of a little diddy called Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer?
Did he have a very shiny nouse? Yes, he did, and if you saw it you might even say it glows.
I think that you could probably say that and people they would they'd agree.
Yeah, I definitely have heard of this.
Okay, then you might not know that that's actually based on a little poem from just a few decades ago. It's not that old, you know, so much of Christmas stuff is very very old. Sure, but our friends over at Snopes got to the bottom of the origin story of Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer.
Yeah, well we helped, we use their material, but they didn't get to the bottom of it. This is the real story that is well known.
Oh okay, well it's not like they cracked the case Merry Christmas Snopes.
Yeah all right, so Rudolph, we're being coy. I know all about this story, but the reason.
I had no idea the reason really Yeah, huh okay.
I mean I didn't know all the details, but I knew that it was I knew it was not the version. And this is why we use Snopes because a lot of people have heard the story that it was written by someone to provide comfort to his daughter as her mother was dying of cancer. Yeah, and then they sold it to a department store.
Chain and cashed in.
That's right, not true.
No, some of the facts are there, like the man's wife was dying of cancer, or he did run it by his daughter.
True, but and there was a department store in Wall exactly.
But it was just it's just a little off. Yeah, So let's talk about this. There is a man named Robert May and he worked for a company called Montgomery Ward, Chicago, Illinois based department store. That's right, and every year Montgomery Ward used to give out coloring books Christmas theme coloring books to kids.
Yeah, they'd buy them and just give them out as a little promo gimmick.
Right, And the head of the copywriting division said, you know what, we could save a lot of money if we just made our own coloring book. But how are we going to do this? What will the story be? Robert May, you're very good at this kind of thing of writing rhyming couplets for children. Why don't you get to work on this? That's right?
And he stamped out a cigarette and threw down his last glass of scotch because it was nineteen thirty nine and he was at.
Work, right, you know, at Montgomery Ward.
That's right. And he said, sure, I'll take a stab at this. And he kind of nicked a little bit from the Tale of the Ugly Duckling. Yeah, and nicked a little bit from his own childhood, because apparently he was a bit of a small shy child. Yeah, on the outskirts, let's say, of the popular crowd, the fringe, the fringe. And he said, you know what, I think I can use this for a story about a little reindeer who's also on the outside and on the fringe.
But what's the name?
I'm chuck, Well, this was I think we should use an a literative name, is what he thought.
Yeah, because reindeer. Sure, so the first name has to be begin with an R raloh.
No, he tried ralloh and they said, you know, that's a little too care free. Then they went with Reginald, and he said that's a little too British. Yeah, so let's just go full German with Rudolph.
Yeah, in nineteen thirty nine, why not.
Yeah, I thought that was a little odd that he turned down a German name in favor of or a British name in favor of a German name. Yeah.
Anyway, I'm sure our British friends find it odd too, that's right.
So then he went on and wrote the story and rhyming couplets and did read it to his four year four year old daughter, Barbara, who loved it. I think it's funny that there's there were four year old's named Barbara right back in the day. Such an old lady name. Yeah, she loved it. And his boss was like, I like it, but this whole red nose thing, is this a drunk reindeer? Because you know, the old gin blossom. I don't know if that's Christmas appropriate.
Right, And he said, I don't have a problem with it, but our customers, Robert May suspected that it was really the guy's reservations. Yeah, So he grabbed one of his buddies in the copyright apartment and artist and illustrator and took him to the zoo and said, see those deer, make them cute and with a red nose.
Yeah, I bet it's. His first reaction too, was like, you gotta be kidding me. Yeah, No one's gonna think this reindeer is drunk, you jerk.
Right exactly.
Yeah.
So, with these drawings in hand, these illustrations of a cute little reindeer with a red nose and normally red nose, Robert May got the sign off to go ahead with this, and he produced this little coloring booklet called Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and it was an instant success. Yeah.
By the end of nineteen forty six they had given out a total of six million copies. And then, of course licensing started to poke their red nose in there and say, hey, we'd love to license Rudolf because this is a great story. Kids love it. And the creator was like, that's awesome, except I don't own it because I work for a company and anything I create as owned by the company. Even though I created it, I'm not going to see any money from it. Right, that must be terrible.
Yeah, and so he went along his saddened way and then thought, you know what, maybe I'm going to for once in my life, stand up for myself.
Yeah.
I'm in deep, deep, crushing debt because of the bills that I had to pay to try to keep my wife alive, who died of cancer. Yeah, it's been seven years of living under this debt. It's just me and my daughter. I created Rudolph, let me go ask And he went to the head of Montgomery Ward Suel Avery, and in what proves there are Christmas miracles? Yeah, Suell Avery said, you know what, We're going to sign the copyright over to you, and he did.
Yeah. It's remarkable to think that a company would revert rights to a successful thing created by a person. It's awesome, but I can't identify with how that's possible. I think it was a different day and age, I guess.
Right, But I think also Chuck, we look back at Rudolph and think it's just this cultural icon. I think in nineteen forty six or forty seven, it hadn't blown up like that yet. It was still popular, but it wasn't until after Robert May secured the copyright. Yeah, that the song that we now know and love was recorded. Yeah, written by his brother in law. Yeah, Johnny Marks just happened to know how to do that kind of things right. And Johnny Marks actually rewrote a lot of the story,
a lot of the details of the story. Same with the nineteen sixty five stop motion animation.
Yeah, that was the burl Ives narrated show. It's still one of the greatest Christmas specials ever, so great and they did take some liberties though, which I thought this was probably one of the more interesting parts of the story. The original story. The Rudolph wasn't one of Santa's Reindeer.
No, not at all.
He didn't live in the North Bowl, he wasn't part of that whole.
Clan, and he wasn't a kid of any of the reindeer of Santa's Reindeer, had nothing to do with them. His parents weren't embarrassed by his abnormality. No, as a matter of fact, it says in this article that he was raised in a very healthy environment. Yeah, he had a positive self attitude.
Yeah, he wasn't like in the cartoon or in the stop motion man, he's just like a sad sack because he's such a freak, right, you know.
The original Rudolph was totally fine with himself.
Sure.
Yeah. And the other big difference is Sanna discovers Rudolph by accident.
Yeah, he's just delivering gifts on Christmas night and spots Rudolph in his room from the Red Glow and it happens to be a foggy night. So he's like, hey, I think I can use this kid to complete my rounds tonight.
And he did. And when they got back, Santa had some words for rudol Off. In the original poem by you, last Night's journey was actually bossed. Without you, I'm certain we'd all been lost.
And the great news is is that May lived the rest of his life quite successful and even went back to work at Montgomery Ward. And yeah, it seemed like he had a like, really good life after that.
He didn't have to work anymore, but he loved what he did, so he went back to work. Good for him.
Yeah, and that, my friend, is a story of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
Chuck. We mentioned Christmas miracles in the Rudolph part. Yeah, there was something that happened last year in twenty twelve, Christmas twenty twelve that a lot of people said it was a Christmas miracle. At the very least, it was a sweet Christmas thing. Yeah.
Right, Yeah.
There's a little girl named Mia Maya. I'm not sure, am I a?
Yes?
And she was seven at the time, and she lived in New York City and we're gonna call her Maya. Okay, Maya. No, we're gonna call her Maya. Okay. Mia had a dog named Marley, who was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, which were very cute, adorable sweet dogs. Yeah, and uh, Maya, did I say may or Maya? I think he said Maya.
I think I said Maya. Ultimately, okay. Mia and her mom were shopping for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and they left Marley tied up outside of the store they were in, and when they came out, he was gone.
That's right. And thanks to video surveillance another Christmas miracle. They saw that this jerk stole the dog.
Stole the dog. Did you see the surveillance he picked it up and walked away with it. Yeah, it was. The dog was clearly not happy to be manhandled by this guy. No, but it's like, I'm a King Charles Spaniel. What can I do?
That's right? So this sounds like not a Christmas miracle, Josh, But it sounds like the worst Christmas story ever.
Yeah, it was Christmas Eve that this happened. The girl said that she couldn't sleep that night. It was just too hard, she said, which is so sad, and she'd lost her best friend.
Yeah.
All she wanted for Christmas was her dog.
Back, and she got it and her two front teeth.
Right, she's that kind of kid, exactly. So she got her dog back thanks to a very nice lady who that same day that the dog was stolen, was walking through Union Square walking her own two dogs, and she noticed a man with a shivering little dog, King Charles Spaniel, and she just thought they didn't go together. The guy was on drugs and this King Charles Spaniel looked like it was too good friend.
Basically, well, and it was for sale. Yeah, on Christmas. So she inquired weird.
She inquired after the dog, and the guy said, I've had this dog for years. I just need some money and I hate to part with it, but yeah, well I will if you give me some money. So the lady actually coughed up two hundred and twenty bucks cash right there on the spot and bought this dog from the guy, which is pretty sweet in and of itself. But she took it a step further.
That's right. She took it to the vet.
Yeah.
The dog was microchipped. Yeah, and she got it back to their owner.
Yeah. The vet called the family and said, we have your dog on Christmas Day. It's a Christmas miracle. And within a few minutes, Mia and her mom went and were reunited with Marley.
Yep. And the jerk was arrested.
Brandon Bacon. Yeah, that is a dog stealing Grinch's name. If I've ever heard Brandon Bacon.
Yep. And that is the story unless you have anything else of the returned King Charles Spaniel on Christmas twenty twelve. Okay, dude, now we're to an interesting part of the show where we're going to talk about modern day mal Sanna's I grew up with what I think was the best mall Sanna of all time.
Oh yeah, that's a pretty weighty statement.
The dude at North to cabmol in the nineteen seventies, I can't remember his name was the most realistic looking Sannah I've ever seen. Yeah, he was amazing. He was my Sanna. And I will try and find some photos to post when we released this of this dude. He was great.
I didn't have a Sannah.
He's departed now, but he really are.
You were you like friends with this guy's family or something.
No, but they did like a big article on him when he died because he was like.
Oh he was that good. Huh.
Yeah. He was known as like the best Sanna, the best fake Sanna in all the land.
Yeah, and he really he looked the part.
I mean, really really look like Sanna, not creepy, all natural with the beard and hair, like there was no fake fakery going on.
Nice.
Yeah, he was really really great. And that's a job, and you can make some decent money doing it.
You certainly can't, and you can also cough up.
A little money trying to get there.
Yeah, depending on how much you want to create the illusion that you are Santa himself. You're going to have to spend some dough. A Santa suit, a good one is going to run you about two grand. The boots themselves are going to be about eight hundred bucks.
Yeah.
Leather gloves, the white ones three hundred bucks. Don't think that hat is free white leather gloves.
Wait, what Santa? Have you ever seen that wears leather gloves? That's creepy.
Really, you've never seen Santa wearing supple white calfskin gloves.
Oh man, we like the little white cotton gloves.
Yeah, that's what I've seen too.
I think that's mainly to prevent germs I think.
Too, which I didn't know. And it's also to make your hands very visible at all times from what I understand.
Oh really it's a lot. Oh yeah, gotcha. Where's Sanna's hand? It's right here.
See.
Yeah.
Interesting, the white really stands out against the red.
Yeah. I never thought about that.
I didn't think about it either. I read it elsewhere.
Yeah. Interesting. All right, so you've laid down some serious cash. If you want a really good theatrical beard. Let's say you like that white one in the corner made out of yak hair.
Yeah, because I mean, if you want a good sand of beard, you have to go to the Yax.
It's gonna be about a grand to twelve thousand dollars. Or maybe you can grow your own big beard. It's still gonna cost you a little money to keep it like perfectly white. Yes, you don't want see you red in there, No, no salt and pepper. No, you want to have a strictly white beard. And that'll cost you a little bit of money.
Too, Yeah, six hundred bucks. I mean, think about it. It's like hair coloring, right, and you want to go to a good colorist. White's probably the hardest thing to color hair.
Yeah, And this is all if you just want one of each of these things, you're gonna be spending that money. But as a Santa, you need backup wardrobe. Some of these guys have like five or six of these outfits.
Yeah. Apparently according to a poll by the Kringle Group, which is basically a trade industry for santas, sure they the twenty percent of Malsanas have five or six whole suits tucked away in case of emergency.
Yeah, so that's like upwards of twenty grand or more Yeah, an investment to be a Santa.
And they said in the same pole that most Sannas have two at least.
At least two sure, yeah, because you know, you get Pete on at noon, you gotta go change so you can get Pete on again at three.
Yeah. If the Kringle Group does anything, they conduct poles of Santa and they found that a third a third of Malsana's have had a child pee on their lap.
I would think that happens once a year at least, sure, don't you think.
Oh yeah, I was surprised. It seemed a little low to me too. I thought so, But it's not just pe like, there's all sorts of ways that kids spread their germs.
Yes, the Kringle Group said seventy five percent of Santa's get sneezed on at least once, and forty four percent are sneezed on or coughed on up to fifteen times a day.
Fifteen And I'll bet that's an accurate amount too, because I'll bet you count every time. Well it's number fourteen.
Yeah today. Well, and there's no parent that with the kid is like really sick and they're like, well, we just won't do that this year. The parent's like, nope, right, we're going Yeah, happy or.
Not get out of bed. The kid also may not only p on you, cough on you, sneeze on you. He may scream and tearor on you. And we actually have a pretty great slide show on our website called twenty three photos of terrified little kids on Santa Claus's lap. You go to Stuff you Should Know dot com.
Yeah, I've got one. I need to add to that. I need to find it at my mom's house and scan it. But there is one verified picture of me classic case, screaming bloody murder on Santa's lap.
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
It's good. You might also if you want to be a Sandy, you might want to go to Santa school. There are many, not many, they're a handful. But the Charles W. Howard School in Albion, New York open in nineteen thirty seven and it is the Harvard of Santa Schools.
It was opened by the guy who played Santa in the Macy's Parade for years and years in Your Charles Howard. Yeah, and he did open it in Albion, but it was later on taking over and moved to Midland, Michigan, which is where it is now. And it is the most adorable thing you've ever seen in your life, is it? It really is? Okay, like the houses on campus Sana Village, Yes, yeah, yeah. All of the Sanna's there refer to one another as
like Santa Chuck and Santa Josh. And they all have like personalized vanity plates like ho ho wan and sure, things like that.
See the gloves.
They also learn quite a bit of stuff like how does like Christmas terms in sign language?
Yeah, the history of Christmas, just so you can acquainted with, like the real story.
History of Santa Claus. Sure, history of Saint Nick. Apparently kids asked Santa how old he is? A lot and Saint Nick was born seventeen hundred years ago, so you gotta be quick on your feet.
Did they say that?
I guess some of them do. Others are asked whether reindeer boys or girls. That's something kids always want to know, is that a boy or girl?
Right?
And it turns out the reindeer should all be girls because only female reindeer have antlers around Christmas time.
Yeah, and Santa has to describe that to the children.
Yes, and Santa learns that at the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School in Midland, Michigan.
Awesome. I saw a story. I'm gonna have to dig that up for next year about these two warring Santa Where was that? It was two Santa's basically that were I think vying for the presidency of that group. You were talking about the Kringle group. Yeah, and I think it got really ugly. That's terrible. Yeah, it was a great story that I read a few years ago. I'm I'm gonna find that and save it for next year.
Yeah.
Yeah. So what does this all mean in terms of return on your investment? ROI? As I like to say.
Here, that's what Santa cares about.
Yeah, Like, can you get rich?
Play Santa? Are you asking me? Yeah? I will answer that no. But you can make a decent enough living, especially if you're just working for two or three months, four months these days with the Christmas season starting earlier and earlier and earlier. Yeah, but just for this amount of time that you're kind of putting into it, you can make some Santa's make up to eighty grand more, make somewhere between eight grand and twelve twenty fifty grand.
Yeah, and in your bigger cities that you're nicer malls, you're obviously going to find your better Santas that make the top dollar. If you live out in the middle of Kansas and you have a Hayseed mall, you might have kind of a crappy looking Santa that makes like twenty bucks an hour. Yeah, but hey, you got your Santa, and good for you. They all need to be supported in peed on with equal vigor. Chuck.
Yes, we've now reached the point where we talk about hot buttered drum.
Yeah, which is pretty exciting. It is uh and it's old as the hills. It is as old of the hills. And this is this is something that taught me a lot about our history in this country, because I did not know that the United States was a huge rum producer back in the day.
Yeah to prohibition. Yep, there's something called Medford rum, which was the pride of New England. That there's a there's a distiller that's like reaching the end of the distillation process as we speak. Yeah, I saw that he was about to release some Medford rum. Yeah, for the first time in a while, right, Yeah, Well well yeah, it's like defunked, and it's been defunk basically been since the since prohibition. Yeah, but at one time it was basically
the the heart and soul of the colonial economy. And some people make the case that were it not for Medford rum, the colonists might not have had enough dough to fund the revolution.
Wow. Yeah, And I didn't know either. If you back in the day, if you went north of New Jersey, New York, that was like the house drink. You run to a pub and it was rum. Yeah, and it was dark and kind of funky.
Apparently the rum was not the the taverns.
No, well they were probably dark and funky too, but yeah, the rum was uh well, we'll get to that, but it was definitely dark rum.
It would get ahead of ourselves here, Chuck. First, let's talk about the difference between a toddy and a sling, and one's cold pretty much. Yeah, when you call your drink a hot toddy, you're using a redundant term. Yeah, toddy's hot. Yeah, but you're not even really describing it. Well, when you're talking about whiskey, a little sugar, lemon, and bourbon, that's maybe a bourbon toddy. There's all kinds of totties, but a yeah, and hot buttered rum is a kind
of toddy. A TOADI is the predecessor to the cocktail. And basically it's booze, water and sugar. And if it's hot, it's a toddy.
If it's cold, it's a sling, like a Singapore sling exactly. Let's say so, hot buttered rum is in fact the toddy, and it's obviously was a hit back then and still today because it was cold and back then in New England, you know, you didn't have the insulation we have today, and you would you would want something to warm the belly, something maybe make you a little sleepy so you could fall asleep. And so what better to include in that toddy than.
A little fat, a little bit of butter.
Yeah, they had plenty of cows, so they're like, hey, we got these churns, we got this butter laying around. It's really good stuff.
I got a bunch of rum, got a.
Bunch of tons of rum, and we have these hot seering pokers in the fire.
Which I did not know about until this.
That's pretty awesome and I'd love to make one like that. Yeah, you know the original way, Oh, yeah, which we'll get to in a second. But they said, let's do all these in a glass and drink it. And it turns out it's delicious and buttery and puts you to sleep with a smile on your face.
Right.
Yeah.
They have no idea who the first person was to put all of it together, but by the mid eighteenth century it was apparently all over New England. Sure, it was pretty much everywhere in the colonies.
George Washington loved the stuff.
Yeah, And over time people have decided to kind of make it a little more fru food than the original version.
Sure.
So there's there's a very widespread hot buttered rum recipe that includes basically like a spice sweet batter where you whip butter, yeah, together with nutmeg, cinnamon, all that stuff and some sugar, and you replace the butter with that. Apparently. David Wondrich, who's a cocktail historian over at Esquire Magazine, says that if you do something like that in parts of Maine, you'll be labeled the communist.
So he's anti batter. Yes, he is a straight up purist. Right, Okay, but we're gonna tell you how to make these things. But first we should talk about the ingredients. Yeah, you want to use unsalted butter, that's a big one. And you want to use good butter quality butter, not margarine or some shed spread. Right, you want to use like real butter, real nice unsalted butter.
Yeah, and you want to the more milk fat, the better. And there was a guy who wrote the Gun Club Drink Book. His name is Charles Brown, and he suggested that in the hot Buttered Rum the butter was there merely to lubricate the mustache. The author of the article we read said, no, it's not the case. The butter is hagro part of this drink, So use the as the best butter you can put your hands on.
Yeah, it kind of softens the corners, the rough edges of this rum apparently. Yeah, some people include h cider an apple cider in their drink, which can be done. But the purists point out that's just another drink altogether. Yeah, don't call it a hot buttered rum. No, it's something else. It's a hot sider rum right with butter.
So, if you are a purist and you want to make an original og enjoyed by George Washington, Hot Buttered Rum, how do you make it?
Well, you want to get dark rum?
Yeah, that's the that is the key. Yeah, good butter is very important, but rum is really important. And you were saying that it was a little dark, a little funky back in the day, and luckily people are still making those kinds of rum today. You want some brown rum?
Yeah, apparently, he says. The demirera RUMs from Guyana are really a nice way to go.
They sure are.
Have you ever had that?
Oh?
Yeah, is it good?
Yes, I'm not a big rum guy.
I had a bad experience with it about eighteen years ago.
Oh and you never recovered. Huh.
I haven't really gone near it since there's I would though, for you know, it's been long enough.
The kinds of rum that this guy's talking about, like anything from Guyana, it's like you could drink it neat it's good, you know.
Yeah. I used to, you know, worked at MEXICALI Grill in college and not recommending this people because it's not right to drink on the job, but we all drank on the job. Yeah, yeah, sure, we drank rum and cokes and that was where I drank a lot of my rum.
You went one tok over the line there.
No, we were we were good. It was a college. When you work at a college, barging me drinking while you're.
Right, but what was your what was your bad experience?
Then? I don't know. That wasn't from that, that was from gotcha? Myers rum in New Jersey?
Oh gotcha? Yeah, Well Myers will work. It's a drum. Yeah, if you don't have to spend fifty bucks on rum, no, but if you wanna hot buttered rum isn't necessarily something you're drinking every night. So maybe this year spring for some decent rum. You'll have it around for a while. It doesn't really go bad.
All right, So what's the recipe?
The recipe is as follows, Chuck, you want two ounces of good rum, dark rum. You want three to four ounces of hot water, one teaspoon of raw sugar. You know that sugar and the raw stuff. Yeah that's dem ara. Oh okay, And then you want some really good unsalted butter softened.
Yeah.
Then what do you do?
Well, there's a couple of ways. If you want to go super old school, you're gonna heat up your mug a little bit with some hot water. Just go ahead and get the mug nice and chilled or nice and warm. You don't want it chilled. You're gonna add your rum, sugar and water and about two tablespoons of that butter. That's a lot of butter. Yeah, and you want to take a hot poker from the fire and plunge it into your mixture until it starts bubbling. Yeah, be very
careful when doing this. Yeah, I don't use your like fire poker because it's covered in ash.
Yeah, I don't. I don't understand it. Like what poker are you gonna use?
Well, you're your rum poker. You would have something strictly for this. Yeah, but let's get real, that's dangerous. Yeah, this is the modern days.
So if you want to make one that's slightly less colonial, meaning it doesn't use a red hot poker to heat everything.
Yeah, get your tea kettle on pretty much.
Yeah. Again, you warm like a heatproof mug with some water, hot hot water, and then you dump that out and you pour an ounce of water and some sugar and you stir it to dissolve, yeah, boiling water. Right after that, you add the rum, the rest of the water, and that butter. Two tablespoons. Man, that's a lot of butter.
I know, I can't wait to try this, and.
On both of them, you want to you want to grate some fresh nutmeg on top. Yeah, and there's your hot buttered room.
If you want to be a communist in Maine and make your batter, uh, you make basically you make your spice butter sugar batter and that's sort of like just your base, and you can scoop that out and add it to each drink.
Right, it stands in for the butter.
Yeah, it's about let's say, if you want to make eight servings cup of brown sugar. Man, that's a lot.
Eight servings. I'm sure there's not a zero missing.
Seriously, one four ounce stick of unsalted butter, softened, one teaspoon of ground cinnamon, I want to half teaspoons of ground nutmeg, and one quarter teaspoon of clove. Mix that all together in a mixing bowl. And supposedly that it's eight servings of your batter. But sounds like it could go a little further.
Yeah, that'll keep you up.
Yeah.
Maybe some people I've seen use ice cream in their batter. Oh yeah, yeah, we just I don't know even I'm like, that's too far.
Some might say two tablespoons of butter and a drink is too far.
Some may and I think that's the point this holiday season. When you're enjoying a hot buttered rum, if your age is twenty one or older, you should adjust it however you like and make it your own so that it gives you a happy holiday season.
Awesome, Okay, buddy, it's time to round out the Christmas episode with a reading. And we did this last year. What do we do? The Shoemaker or something? Little Kids in the Shoes did some story about some magical shoes that were made overnight or something.
Oh about clothing elves.
Yeah, yeah, I can't remember the name of it, but it's very It's a classic Christmas story, as is the Gift of the Magi by O.
Henry, who is one of my favorite authors of all time.
Yeah really yeah, he makes a great any bar two he does, so now, folks, Merry Christmas. Twenty thirteen, a reading from Josh and Chuck. The Gift of the matchup one dollar and eighty seven cents. That was all, and sixty cents of it was in pennies. Penny saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer, and the vegetable man and the butcher, until one's cheeks burned with a silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied three times. Della counted it one dollar and eighty
seven cents, and the next day would be Christmas. There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it, which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating, while the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second.
Take a look at the home. A furnished flat at eight dollars per week did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the Mendicancy squad, go look out for those guys. And the vestibule below was a letterbox into which no letter would go, and an electric button for which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing
the name mister James Dillingham Young. The Dillingham had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity, when its possessor was being paid thirty dollars per week. Now when the income was shrunk to twenty dollars though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming d But whenever mister James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above, he was called Jim and greatly hugged by missus. James Dillingham Young already introduced to
you as Della, which is all very good. Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence and a girl backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only one dollar and eighty seven cents with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with the result twenty dollars a week doesn't go too far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated.
They always are only one dollar and eighty seven cents to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him, something fine and rare, and sterling, something just a little bit nearer to being worthy of the honor being owed by Jim. There was a peer glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a peer glass and an eight dollar flat. A very thin and agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence
of longitudinal strips, obtained a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the yard. Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.
Now there are two possessions of the James Dillingham youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the Queen of Shiba lived in the flat across the air shaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window someday to dry, just to depreciate her majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon bid the janitor with all his treasures piled up
in the basement. Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy. So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her, rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again,
nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet, on, when her old brown jacket on, when her old brown hat, with a whirl of skirts, and with the brilliant sparkles still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street, where she stopped. The sign read Madame Sophrony Hair goods of all kinds one flight up. Della ran and collected herself, panting.
Madame large, two white, chilly, hardly looked the sofrony. Will you buy my hair, asked Ella. I buy hair, said Madame. Take your hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it. Down rippled the brown cascade. Twenty dollars, said Madame, lifting the mass with a practiced hand. Give it to me quick, said Della. Oh. In the next two hours trip by on rosy wings, forget the hashed metaphor, she was ransacking the stores for Jim's present. She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim
and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, than she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain, simple and chased in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation, as all good things should do. It was even worthy of the watch. As soon as she saw it, she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him, quietness and value.
The description applied to both twenty one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the eighty seven cents. With that chain on his watch, Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place with the chain. When Della reached home, her intoxication gave way a little to prudence
and reason. She got her curling irons out and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love, which is always a tremendous task, dear friends, a mammoth task. Within forty minutes, her head was covered with tiny, close lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her
reflection in the mirror long, carefully and critically. If Jim doesn't kill me, she said to herself, before he takes a second look at me, he'll say, I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do? Oh? What could I do with a doll in eighty seven cents? At seven o'clock, the coffee was made and the frying pan was back on the stove, hot and ready to cook the chops.
Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard a step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying a little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things. And now she whispered, please God, make him think I'm still pretty. She cut her hair off
right to make money to buy this gift. Yeah, okay, got twenty dollars for it, So she looks like Anne Hathaway and Lema's.
Rob Yes, all right, but with curly hair.
The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow. He was only twenty two and about to be burdened with a family. He needed a new overcoat, and he was without gloves. Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of a quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any
of these sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly, with a peculiar expression on his face. Della wriggled off the table and went for him, Jim Darling. She cried, don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off in soul because I couldn't have lift through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again. You won't mind, will you. I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast.
Say Merry Christmas, Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice, beautiful, nice gift I've got for you. You've cut off your hair, asked Jim laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet, even after the hardest mental labor, cut it off and sold it, said Della. Don't you like me just as well?
Anyhow?
I'm me without my hair, ain't I. Jim looked a round the room curiously. You say your hair is gone, he said, with an air all my idiocy. You needn't look for it, said Della. It's sold. I tell you, sold and gone too. It's Christmas Eve boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered, she went on with sudden serious sweetness. But nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on Jim. Out of his trance,
Jim seemed quickly to wake. He unfolded his Della for ten seconds. Let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction, eight dollars a week or a million a year, what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on. Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon
the table. Don't make any mistake, Dell, he said about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut, or a shave, or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package, you may see why you had me going a while.
At first, white fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper, and then an ecstatic scream of joy, and then alas quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the Lord of the flat. For there lay the combs, the set of combs side and back that Della had worshiped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jeweled rims, just the shade to wear in the beautiful,
vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession, And now they were hers. But the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone. But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and smile and say, my hair grows so fast. Jim, and then Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, oh oh. Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present.
She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull, precious metal seemed to flash with the reflection of her brightened, ardent spirit. Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day. Now, give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on you. Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of
his head and smiled. Dell said he let's put our Christmas presents away and keep them awhile they're too nice. To use. Just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on the magi. As you know, were wise men, wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, Their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case
of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the whys of these day's, let it be said that of all who give gifts, these two were the wisest, Oh, all who give and received gifts, such as they are wisest, everywhere they are wisest. They are the Magi. But do you think of that?
I think it was one of the great ironic stories of all time.
Well, that's so Henry, he's the master of the ironic twist.
Yeah, and it's not lame at all. No, he says lame late at the end. But that's one of those words.
It's a little different now he's self deprecating. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.
So yeah, man, how about that Combs he sold the watch. Yeah, but they got the chops.
Yeah, the chops. When I was reading that, I was like, chops sound pretty good.
Yeah, that sounds real good.
Yeah. You got anything else? I got nothing else.
Merry Christmas, everyone, Merry Christmas for another great year. Buddy and Jerry.
Yeah, Merry Christmas, Chuck, Merry Christmas, Jerry. Jerry says, Merry Christmas too, and to all a good night, to all, a good night.
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