10 Terribly Bungled Crimes

to the podcast. Josh and Chuck Here Josh Clark and Charles Bryant, Paris, staff writers for How Stuff Works dot Com. What up, Chuck? What up? Josh? How's it going? It's going good man, t G. I f we record these on Friday. People might not know that. It's a great way to finish out our week. And I'm happy to be here. So Chuck here. Telling me about a video you saw it recently? Uh, something about a guy falling through the ceiling. Did you see that on YouTube? I did.

I saw it on the YouTube. It's it's a really good one. It's a bungled crime. This guy was robbing a liquor store and he snuck in and they had video cameras outside that captured him going in through the roof and then a video capture inside this showed this guy falling through the ceiling. Was there a star wipe

when they went from camera? They should have done that, but he fell through the ceiling, and um, you know, I was gathering up some cash or whatever he could find, and then he realized that he couldn't get out, so then and you know it's it's a timelap steal. It shows him over time, he gets a ladder and he puts the ladder in there, and then he can't. He's it's still too high to get back through. And then

the last shot of this video is a classic. It shows this guy, uh, basically just sit down and smoke a cigarette until the cops come. That's beautiful. Yeah, Chuck always has the best viral videos. He's always sending stuff out, you know, to everybody, to everyone's delight. But you know, that guy sitting there with a smoking a cigarette, waiting, you know, resigned to his fate, waiting for the cops to show up, reminds me of an article I wrote

called the ten Terribly Bungled Crimes. Right. These are great, they really are. I think everyone likes hearing stories, kind of like the Darwin Awards, except of the criminal nature. That's exactly right. Um, Now, you know there's plenty of great, great heights that were pulled off, right, like Luftons. I know you're a good Fellas fan, right, Yeah, and that was Jimmy right, the liftonsa highest which was in I

think like five eight million bucks. Yeah, And I went on to uh the Department of Labor, Department of Statistics, one of the one of them has a website inflation calculator, and I calculated it. There was still there was twenty million dollars in two thousand eight dollars, which is nothing compared to what some guys did in two thousand and six. And Great Britain. I think they made off with ninety two million dollars. And I don't think all of them

were caught either. That's that's a quite a heist. So these are like at the high end of the spectrum. They're in like the ultra violet range down in the We'll say, yellows, right, are are the ones in this article ten terribly bungled crimes? Less? These folks, Yeah, they're just trying to to commit a crime and like everyone else, and it's just not working exactly and what what do you suspect is the reason why people engage in in

these horribly bungled crimes. My my personal theories that unless you're a career criminal, unless you're one of those guys who pulls off a luftanza heist or in ninety two million dollar take or whatever, um, you're you're basically just lazy, which is why you're a criminal. I think most criminal acts are basically in a statement of laziness, trying to get something for nothing. So I mean like if if you're if you're just a burglar or whatever, and you're

so so burglar hasn't been caught, you're generally lazy. If you are a bungling burglar, then you're the laziest of the laziest. You're incompetent, right, you're so lazy you don't even commit crimes regularly. Exactly. Well, I think we should dive right in and talk about some of these incompetent people. Yeah, we'll talk about Chuck, what's your favorite out of these ten buggle crimes? And before warned, we don't have time to go over all ten, but you can read it

on how stuff works dot com. Well, my favorite. Actually, I'll I'll give you my second favorite. We my my second favorite is this uh Atlanta, I'm sorry, not Atlanta, but Rochelle, Georgia. Woman, man, you took mine. Yeah, this is a good one. She bought some crack cocaine, which is a drug that people smoke to feel better about themselves and their surroundings. Right, and so she stole this crack and got home lit up, and I think she found out that it wasn't cracked. She thought it wasn't cracked,

right because there was nothing happening. So, uh, the smart lady. We're not gonna say her name, you know, I don't think we can't. Well, it's in the article. Uh she called. She called the cops to come over to her house and help her get her money back for her drug purchase. Yeah, and the police showed up and they said thanks, thanks for the easy caller. Right. Yeah, so that was that was my second favorite. I like that one too. That one's all right. I'll go with my second favorite then,

because actually that was my first choke. Um. My my second favorite was the guy in Miami who was driving through an unnamed uh fast food chain. This is my favorite one. Awesome I got you back. Yes, okay. So, um, this guy is driving through it seems late at night. I don't know if he was on anything or drunk, or just maybe in a really bad mood. Um, he ordered some food. It came to like seven dollars and

forty one cents or something like that. And when the person told him through the little box that that's how much it costs, he clearly told them that he was not going to pay more than dollars seventy five number one. Apparently that's all he thought it was worth. Number two. Coincidentally, that's all he had on him. So I love that this guy just thought that's all it's worth. You should only break even here on this transacting. I'm not even sure if that's breaking even with the you know, food

costs these days. I think it would have been very much tilted in his favor. Don't kid yourself. I bet a number six is really worth about seventy five cents. Yeah, you're you're probably right, Sorry, Chuck com I get naive sometimes. So the back to the story. The guy, uh, the guy who decides that, um, he's not gonna pay more than dollars five. He tells him that they tell him no, you know, sorry, Bob. You know. They go back to putting the burger or whatever under the heat lamp, and

he drives off, but he doesn't drive very far. He drives into a parking space. This is where he gets good and he um. He runs up to the drive through window on foot and brandishes a weapon when they come to the window, and he tells them that he wants their money. And apparently these were the baddest fast food employees around because they turn them down again, and in retaliation, just to save some face, the guy grabs a handful of catchup packets and runs off peels off

into the Miami night. Uh yeah, so that one was That was my second favorite, tied tied with the woman from Rochelle, Georgia who wanted the police to get her money back for the crack. Right, that's a good one. And you know, since you stole my favorite, I guess I'll just I'll pick out another one here. Um the guy in Phoenix, Arizona on the on the police chase. Yes,

Oh he's good. I can understand his pain. Actually, he robbed a bank and a lot of bank robbers in here, and not very skilled bank robbers, and he was on a in a high pursuit, high speed pursuit by the cops, and uh decided to make a little detour and get a pack of smokes. So he whips it in a convenience store, goes in and actually tries to pay for him, which is kind of cool. He robbed a bank, but

he won't robb the community stord. He tried to give him a twenty, like, here's twenty, just give me the package cigarette, and the guy gave him the pack of smokes. He went and jumped back in his car, and the chase resumed as if it was in the Yeah, the clerk apparently said he saw the guy drive off, and like thirty seconds later, this horde of police just driving past, and he figured out what was going on. Tell him the absolute worst part of that story, chuck cigarettes to kill. No,

even worse than that. When they pulled the guy, or when they finally caught the guy, the pack of cigarettes was unopened. Hadn't even had a chance to smoke one of the cigarettes, and chances are you would have been caught anyway. But this, but at the very least he could have had a last cigarette exactly because you know, contrary to what they teach you on OZ, you can't smoke in prison. I thought they were, Uh, no, you're

you're not supposed to smoke cigarettes and presents against the rules. Yeah, so um, you know, Chuck. There were a couple that didn't make it in here. They bordered on the line of urban legend um that I wanted to share that I couldn't get really good source, uh, sources to site to back back these stories up, which you kind of need when you're when you're writing about these outlandish crimes. Uh. For one, the best source I could get was a it looked like some sort of monthly newsletter of a

sheriff's department in Missouri or something. And I couldn't find any other verification for it. But I had heard it elsewhere. Um that a guy in Michigan supposedly goes into a convenience store robber right, um, and he is really drunk. He tells them that he wants all of their money and they say no, he didn't have a weapon, he didn't have a note even. He was just this loud, bullurgerent guy. And he told the I think a parent clerks that he was going to call the cops if

they didn't give him the money. So he calls the cops, and the cops show up and arrest him on the spot. But backfired, Yeah, backfired terribly. And I think this guy was too drunk to even resign himself to his fate. And you know, sit down and smoke a cigarette. Yeah, you know, guy's like that should get a break. I agree. I agree at the very least, not a baton to the head. But you should read all about this stuff.

We haven't even correct the service what we talked about like three maybe at least seven more for you to go read and ten terribly bungled crimes on how stuff works dot com and stick around to find out what Star Wars character poses as a dr pepper bottle on the how stuff Works site. Right after this stuff you should know is brought to you by Visa. We all have things to think about, like say, what's the best site to buy a new leather jacket or whether to

buy the three or six megapixel camera. But thankfully we don't need to think about online fraud because for every purchase you make music Tony out for fraud with real time fraud monitoring and by making sure, you're not liable for any unauthorized purchases. How's that for peace of mind, safe secure visa? So, Chuck, do you know the answer? Answer? I do not know. Well, I can tell you it's not Yoda. Weirdo. That was terrible. By the way, that

wasn't Yoda. Oh well, I don't know what was that Chewbacca. I just had a frog in my throat? Oh who who was it? That? It was? Me? Okay, well the answer is Lando Calorisian. Yeah, that's what I hear, very ably played by one Mr Billy Dee Williams. Yes, um, now it's Lando. Dr Pepper is the character's name. There's a video on how stuff Works site. It's a very little known video. Um, and you can find that video embedded in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy Works.

I'm not even get to go any further in explaining it. You just need to see everything for yourself. Is so awesome. Go type in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy works on how stuff works dot com. You will not be disappointed. For more on this and thousands of other topics, visit how stuff works dot com. Let us know what you think. Send an email to podcast at how stuff Works dot com h brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, Are you