Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio.
Hey, welcome to Weird House Cinema. This is Rob Lamb.
And this is Joe McCormick, and it's Star Wars Clone week here on Weird House Cinema. We just did a week of regular episodes concerning Star Wars on Tuesday and Thursday, and so we figured we would look into yet another ripoff of the George Lucas classic Star Wars. This will actually not even be the first Star Wars clone we're doing on Weird House Cinema because a few months back
we watched Message from Space, which I absolutely adored. It was, you know, like many movies of the late seventies, a blatant ripoff of Star Wars, but it brought a lot of its own weirdness and texture. I remember it had some really beautiful, highly colorful costumes and great sets and stuff. Today we're looking at a dirtier, dustier, more drab attempt to rip off Star Wars of a more Italian persuasion. But this one's got a lot of pleasures of its own. Yeah.
Now, but before we get into it, I do want to speak just a little bit more about the idea of the Star Wars ripoff, because there's kind of this, I mean, it's almost kind of like a wave effect through cinema after Star Wars comes out, because the nineteen seventy seven original film that is often known today as Star Wars a New Hope, you know, it really set
the world on fire. It created this global phenomenon. But then it also it opened the door for various filmmakers to come in and in some cases, you know, just blatantly try and get in on the cash grab to get some of that Star Wars energy and some of that Star Wars money.
Other times it.
Just allowed projects that would not have come to light to actually take form, you know, like because the people with the money realized, Hey, look at this. People are lining up to see stuff that's fantastic, stuff that's got space in it. Hey, what do we have lined up that has space in it? And so I think sometimes you see this with other hits as well, Like you'll see projects that that maybe at some point in their development they weren't as Star Wars y, but maybe they got Star Wars up.
Or you'll see a Star Wars.
The project that you know, has a lot of knockoff elements in it, but then also some original ideas or maybe ideas at least inspired by other properties in there. So they're often really fun to look at because you never know exactly what you're gonna find once you really immerse yourself in it, once you sort of wage your way through the initial like seaweed of just of just you know, utter Star warseness, and get out into the perhaps the more original aspects of the picture.
Yeah, there are a few different things you can look at here. I mean, one is, as you say, I think Star Wars helped sort of push the door wide or open for big budget mainstreams science fiction and fantasy. You know, the idea is, okay, plenty of people in the public are hungry for this sort of thing. People went and saw Star Wars twenty times in the theater. You know, we can make big budget sci fi and
fantasy movies and they can be a huge hit. The other thing is, as you say, movies that are not really Star wars y in any sense, except you get the feeling somebody was like, hey, what if we Star warsed up this thing just a little bit. So one example that I think of that we'll have several connections
to today's movie. Is the James Bond film Moonraker from nineteen seventy nine, starring Roger Moore, the driest and goobriest of James Bond's and starring several cast members of the movie we're looking at today, which is in many respects just a bad James Bond movie. Like it's very goofy. It's the James Bond movie where a pigeon does a double take. But also it has a space battle in the end of it. There are and you just really
get the feelings. But he was like, hey, could we you know, could we like han solo this up just a bit. So you've got Michael Lonsdale playing the villain Hugo Drax, and Moonraker and his soldiers go out on a spacewalk where they're shooting lasers at these I think, I don't know US or British soldiers who were space soldiers shooting lasers. I mean, obviously no forces of the kind existed at this time, but but I think they just wanted to get in on some of that Lucas magic.
And and this is what we ended up with.
Moonraker is a Bond film that there was a time in my life where I thought I would have said it was the worst Bond film. I'm now at the point in my life where I can, without a shadow of a doubt say it is the best Bond film, and it will never be surpassed.
It is one of the most rewatchable of Bond films because it is absolutely ludicrous and tonally all over the place in a way that most James Bond movies aren't. I mean the earlier James Bond movies, you know, they had a more kind of realistic, sardonic, cynical edge, a kind of mean sense of humor and all that. Moonraker. It's like got this ridiculous, hilarious subplot where Jaws, the assassin who kills people by biting their necks, falls in
love with a woman with braces. But then on the other hand, it's got like really dark stuff in it, like the villain kills people by sicking dogs on them. Is brutal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, brutal dog scenes. Michael Lonsdale, who I love in that and everything. He would fit into this movie that we're going to discuss today, because Michael Lonsdale has that wonderful, like low energy performance style like he's in. He's been in many films over the years, but he's in the original film adaptation of the Name of the Rose, playing the abbot, and he's great in that. But he's so low energy. There are times where I can't quite
understand what he's even saying. He's practically mumbling. But what a vision learned of his on accord. I don't know what you said, Michael Lonsdale, but I love it. I still love your energy.
I think you will find mister.
It's yeah, and it's like, what, I can't hear your villainous monologue because it's so you're hitting such a low energy level there.
Yeah. Oh, But to come back to what you were saying earlier, speaking of low energy, we should get to this Star Wars ripoff that we're looking at today, because, of course, the other class of films is just movies that blatantly rip off Star Wars. They're not like taking a pre existing movie concept and trying to Star Wars
it up a bit. They're instead taking elements from Star Wars and saying, Okay, if we were to directly rip off the Darth Vader suit, how could we write a movie around a character who wears that suit.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's the caliber of film we're dealing with today. It is nineteen seventy nine's the Humanoid?
The Humanoid?
Yes, the basic elevator pitch here is in an attempt to overthrow the planet Metropolis, which is our planet. But in the future, the evil warlord Grawl turns to a doctor with a recipe for the perfect super soldier, which you're probably saying, that doesn't sound like Star Wars at all. Well, the basic plot, yeah, is not very Star Wars. And we'll get into what that means here in a bit.
What's it some of that trailer audio?
I'm the little option me only tend to see you.
Shut up all right now.
I'm not sure how much we really got out of that trailer audio because I think, given our choices, that was either mostly all music or that was in Italian.
See what we were able to pull together. I think I found a trailer that had some English narration, but maybe it's not original. I don't know. We'll we'll work that out in post. It'll depend you you've already heard it. Whatever it is, Ye, it's one.
This is one of those films where it's it's I was having trouble finding the trailer, but what I would find on YouTube is just uploads of the entire film, uploads that have been on YouTube for you know, half a decade or so, or you know, approaching ten years.
In some cases, they do not have their lawyers on the case of the Humanoid. Yeah. Now, as we get into the connections on this movie, there's something that you should know from the get go, which is that this movie has extensive Roger Moore era Bond overlap. It has no less than three major cast members who were in back to back Roger Moore James Bond movies. Yeah.
Yeah, so it's kind of a fun exercise and looking at the like the Moonreaker casting especially.
Okay, so who directed this?
All right, so this was directed by Aldo Laddo. Credited I believe is George B. Lewis, which sometimes argued that that was because it kind of sounds like George Lucas. I don't know, but anyway, it's like.
They were trying to do the trans Morpher's thing. What is like these asylum studios?
Yeah, yeah, maybe, but anyway. A Alatto was born in nineteen thirty four. I will say this is we look at a lot of films, and certainly some older films too, where like everybody's dead or most of the people were dead. I was kind of surprised at how many folks are still kicking from this one. I don't know if they were, you know, getting some of that Iron Maiden Fountain of Youth's sci fi juice from the plot of this film, but a lot of folks are hanging in there that
were involved in this anyway. Laddo was an Italian writer and director, perhaps best known, at least in some circles, for writing and directing short Night of Glass Dolls from nineteen seventy one, horror movie that also featured Barber Bach who will get to in a bed?
Who is in this?
And he also did an assortment of thrillers for TV and cinema.
I'm not really super familiar with this guy, but there's a guy we're coming up on that fans of weird House cinema will recognize. Yeah.
So apparently Zog Castellari did some uncredited directing on this. Now he was born in nineteen thirty eight, still alive as of this recording, and he apparently did the opening assault sequence in this film. We've mentioned him on the show before because he directed nineteen eighty three's Warriors of the Wasteland, eighty two's nineteen ninety The Bronx Warriors, and nineteen eighty threes Escaped from the Bronx, all wonderful Italian
post apocalyptic films. He also did nineteen eighty one's The Last Shark, starring.
Vic Morrow, who was in Message from Space.
Yeah, The Last Shark is a Jaws rip off essentially in which Vic Morrow plays, well, what's the character from Jaws, the old guy Quinn. Yeah, he'd be essentially played Quinn, and then he Castellaria also directed The Inglorious Bastards from nineteen seventy eight.
So Castellari has been mentioned on this show before because we talked about him in the episode Hands of Steel, where I think there was an extensive overlap with his work there. I don't know, did he actually work on Hands of Steel or did it just have a lot of his regular actors, And.
I think it was just the connection to Georgia Eastman and also the connection to the music of Goblin and Okay, yeah, I think I think that was the main thing. I don't know that we've actually covered an NZG costellary picture on Weird House, or at least not yet, but hopefully we'll.
Get to one. L Ultimo squalo all right.
There are various writers involved on this one, but I'm just going to mention in passing that Adriano Balzani was on here, who lived nineteen nineteen through two thousand and five. He was also one of the writers on nineteen sixty four's A Fistful of Dollars spaghetti western classic.
Now there's a term I'd never come across before, but it makes sense because I think there were a number of Italian Star Wars clones in the late seventies, and that term was It was actually on a website that we were both looking at. The term is spaghetti star Wars.
Ha Well, I missed that. I was looking at that website, but I missed that term. I think that would be be accurate spaghetti star Wars.
I like it. Now, getting into the actual cast, we should introduce the real star of this film. You want somebody with just like unbeatable charisma, a screen presence that sucks you in and you're hanging on their every word, and so who'd they get. They got Richard Keel, who played Jaws in the James Bond movies.
Yeah, and this isn't just a case where we were most familiar with him, and so we're saying he's the star. No, they said he's the star. He had top billing, like he's the star of this picture.
I mean he'd gotten top billing in something before. I think he got top billion ega.
Well yeah, yeah, and that was years earlier. That was nineteen sixty two. So yeah, Richard Keel who lived nineteen thirty nine through twenty fourteen. So he's a giant of a man. He had the medical condition acromegaly and thus attained the height of seven to two in his life, which in show business that's like being nine feet tall, you know. I mean, you see people who are like six' eight and if you don't put their coworkers on apple,
boxes then they're you, know they come off like. Giants but But keel was an extremely tall, man and he also had a very signature. Look you know that in part due to his condition that certainly played well with monster. Makeup THOUGH i think it's also fair to say that he was still a very handsome. Guy by most.
Standards, YEAH i, say he especially looks good with the, beard which they give him in part of this, film but not the whole. Thing and the beard is like an on off switch that indicates in this movie whether he's in regular human mode or in humanoid.
Mode, yeah so he gets to both in this which is kind of fun because a lot of times he was playing monsters and, heavies you, know and in this he does get to play the snarling. Monster but he also plays this, likable, big kind of goofy bearded, guy you. Know And i'm not saying that that's Where keel's acting strength, was but he's still it's kind of neat to watch.
Him oh He's, Yeah i'd never seen him playing just like a regular guy, before but in the parts of this movie where he's just you, know he's just some space. Trucker he's just a regular dude out there in a. Spaceship he's quite. Likable actually he's. Not, again AS i was, JOKING i, mean he's not somebody who has natural like screen, charisma but he comes off his suite. Likable you, know you would be friends with this.
Dude, yeah and we do have to against distress his importance in The bond movie series because he Played jaws in two, films not Only moonraker but Also The Spy Who Loved me from nineteen seventy, Seven so they brought him. Back you, know you see, that of course With bond himself and some Of bond's auxiliary, characters and you, know occasionally with the main, villain like A blowfield comes back over in.
A low, field.
The bald guy's Since i've watched the guy who is Sometimes Donald, pleasants but also many times sadly Not Donald.
Pleasants sometimes He's Charles.
Gray oh, okay, well when he Was Charles Charles gray was pretty. GOOD i, MEAN i pretend to have good actors play, him but Still pleasance was the was the.
Best the weird thing, IS i feel like how MUCH i enjoy the actor Playing blowfeld is directly correlated to how silly the actor Playing blofeld. Is SO i REALLY i really like the silly. ONES i Like Donald, PLEASANCE i Like Charles. GRAY i THINK i Like Telly. Savalis when When.
Telly was a different type of a, villain BUT i liked. Him who plays him in the newer?
Ones oh, well they Got Christoph waltz to Play, inspector which would have been great casting if the role had been. Written, well but that movie was just a snoozefest A. SPECTER i don't know if you saw. IT i have never seen. It, NO i found it incredibly, boring not very good at. All but but But christoph fold's great casting choice if you give him something interesting to.
Do. YEAH i haven't seen a New bond film Since Casino. Royale OH i like that, One, yeah like. It mad's was great in.
That. Yeah my advice is stick with the odd. Numbers Skip quantum Of, solace c Sky. Fall that one's. Good Skip. Specter, okay good to.
Know of, course all of these, MOVIES i THINK i can just safely say they needed More. Jaws but at any, rate you, know jaws't hasn't been around in A bond film for a. WHILE i don't think they've quite decided to bring him, back though they've kind of echoed that sort of second in command HEAVY i think in some of the more recent ones as.
Well who would be the New?
JAWS i mean it's hard to. DO i, mean what do you certainly there are other big guys you could you could hire to be a new version Of. Jaws BUT i don't. Know the thing Is keel had that. MAGIC i, mean you, could you could get you, know various super big wrestlers to step in and play the. Role BUT i don't. Know keel was. Likable AND i think that's one of the things that shines through In, Moonraker like they clearly, realize let's bring this guy back and people like. Him and he looks you, know he's
kind of a gentle he has this gentle giant. Vibe let's lean into. That let's have him fall in love with a girl in braces on a space.
Ship. OH i, mean it's a classic evolution of a villain character across a multiple film arc because when he comes in In Spy Who Loved, me he's actually rather. MENACING i, mean he murders people in a way that is kind of. Creepy they're not playing him for laughs, Yet but as with the arc of Say Freddy, krueger he becomes more a source of comedy as the as the films go.
On, yeah why didn't he get a spin? Off that's that's the thing that gets.
Me oh my, God Agent, jaws he, goes he goes to work FOR i, six he becomes like double oh two or, whatever and, yeah they send him on missions where he always ends up biting the bad guy's.
Neck, yeah maybe he could be double oh fourteen since he's twice as.
TALL i don't, know very.
Good so, Anyway keel was in many other things as. Well we already Mentioned IgA from sixty. Two he was the ALIEN i believe what is cannimate from the Classic Twilight zone episode To Serve, man WHICH.
I know is one of your, Favorites. Joe.
Oh. Yeah but he also did a ton OF tv, work like he was just popping up on, everything like hell pop up On Gilligan's. Island so anytime you needed a giant or a likable big, guy there's a chance That Richard keel would wander into the.
SHOT i know he was cast in this, movie so they could have him turning into the humanoid and hulking. Out BUT i would have enjoyed having more of the movie with him in regular mode with his cute little robot, friend because in this movie he's got a robot dog that is. Adorable, yeah, YEAH i love that robot.
Dog we'll talk about it a bit in a Bit in a second, here but let's move on to some of the other actors in this. Film the next one is also A bond. Connection it's the Actor Corene, clary who was born in nineteen fifty still alive as of this, recording plays the space character the sci fi Character Barbara.
Gibson it's. GREAT i love how this movie has a scene where a character Named Lord grawl sends his forces to Kill Barbara. Gibson. Yeah it reminds me of When Darth vader took out his lightsaber to go assassinate The jedi Master Fred. Nelson.
YEAH i, mean this is not The lucas approach to naming. Characters this is not Even David cronenberg approach to naming. CHARACTERS i was, Thinking Barbara gibson sounds like the name that a child would give their imaginary friend if that imaginary friend were like a stereotypical. Adult but, Anyway cleary. Was she was In moonraker as well as the story OF o from nineteen seventy, five And You're The hunter from The future from nineteen eighty.
Three Your hunter from The future is an all time great leather Diaper barbarian. Movie, yes, yeah and it will come up.
Again it is connected in several ways to this.
Picture it's one of the best ludicrous barbarian movies because it is simultaneously A conan ripoff and A Star wars. Ripoff so it stars the guy From Space, mutiny Reb, brown you, know a blast hard, cheese and he's wearing the leather diaper and running around like killing dinosaurs with a. Hammer but then at the end of the movie he has to Fight Darth. Vader all.
Right the next Character Leonard, mann who Plays nick born nineteen forty, Seven american actor who was also in eighty Seven flowers in The attic in nineteen eighty One's Night, school in addition to a number Of italian.
Productions he's gonna be Our han solo for this, movie but a really sort of, faded washed out. Solo, yeah, absolutely all.
Right Our Darth vader in this picture Is Lord, graul played By Ivan rasimov who lived nineteen thirty eight through two thousand and, three An italian actor who played a lot of. Heavies he was In mario Bob those nineteen sixty five sci fi Classic planet of The. VAMPIRES i love that. Movie, yeah wonderful. Style that's one we might have to come back to on the. Show he was also In Sergio martino's nineteen seventy two Movie all The colors of The.
Dark we've mentioned that one. Before that's A jello movie That i've. SEEN i recall thinking that one was kind of, interesting, though like pretty much All, jello it's, vile, TRASH i, think but IT'S i recall it being about like a woman who thinks she's being pursued by a coven Of satanists somewhere In. England but then there's a.
Twist, YEAH i love the. Title it's slightly, nonsensical BUT i like. It and then he was also In Mario bova's nineteen seventy seven Film shock and just various Other italian. Productions now that character has a brother in this, picture played By Massimo, serrato and the character's name is just great brother and this Actor serrato lived nineteen sixteen through nineteen eighty, Nine italian. Actor he was In Nicholas Rogues
Don't Look, now Starring Julie christy And Donald. Sutherland that was the main picture that jumped out of.
Me oh, man have you seen that?
ONE i, haven't BUT i know it's very well.
Regarded, yeah that one's a classic horror, movie very opposite end of the spectrum from the goofiness we're talking about. Here that one's like very weird but also like, deep emotionally powerful. Dark, yeah that one's don't screw around with that, One like put yourself in the right state of mind if you're gonna watch.
It, Okay now the next actor and the next character. Here this is very pretty exciting because it's a very esteemed actor kind of slumming it, UP i, guess you, know collecting a paycheck in This Italian Star wars. Film the actor Is Author kennedy and he plays our second tier, villain our mad scientist, villain Doctor.
Craspin Arthur kennedy is fantastic in. This you can tell he like all of the roles in this. Film it's, underwritten but you can tell he is doing his best to chew the, scenery even though there's not a whole lot to chew.
On, yeah in a film that is just packed with low energy, performances you, know and you, know poor writing and just this stuff that just falls, Flat, Yeah kennedy brings the most energy to his. Performance at, times he's he's snarling like a mad, dog and it really stands out on a picture again where everybody else is really almost quelutic in their.
Performance. YEAH i would say one of the main characteristics of the acting in this film is that it's almost as if the, director you, know you've heard the story that What George lucas would say to people on the set Of Star wars was like, faster, louder more intense in their line. Deliveries in this, case the director was just always telling, PEOPLE i don't want you to emphasize any particular word in the. Sentence they should all sound exactly the.
Same, Yeah, yeah like bring it down a.
Notch. Yeah.
So Arthur Kennedy american act of stage and screen who won a nineteen forty Nine Tony award for his role in the original stage production Of Arthur Miller's death of A. Salesman. Wow he was a five Time oscar. Nominee he was in such major films of the nineteen, forties, fifties and sixties As lawrence Of, Arabia Bright, Victory Peyton, place And. Champion this was only this is just one of the last four films he did at the very end of his,
career but he had had a pretty long. History NOW i don't know how how well he is remembered by today's movie going, audience like especially if you look at The oscars he was nominated. For he lost in all those cases to actors WHO i think had more star power and more staying, power at least in the public. Memory but he was a real, talent and again he is just clearly light years ahead of any other actor in this.
Film agreed a good casting.
DECISION i did read that they initially Wanted Donald pleasants for this. Role, Yeah pleasants would have been perfect for this. Role he was in a lot of other you, know international pictures, though where he played this sort of, thing like the evil guy in a funny. Costume, oh but he.
Would have been absolutely on tone for the rest of the acting in this film Because Donald. Pleasants one of the weird things about him is that he has striking monotone delivery so, often.
Yeah almost almost. Always it's. Rare there are some, there there are some films you'll find where he plays a more high energy. Character but, generally, yeah he. Was he was very much in That Michael lonsdale school of low key, performance but.
In a different with the kind of more nasal. VERSION i remember the main line of his that illustrates this is In escape From New york when he plays The president of The United states and he gets into that escape pod egg to get out of his airplane and he says something, like May god have messy on you? All. Yeah he always good in that, One so, yeah he would. Have he would have been right on the same page with all the other actors in. This but NOW i
think it's good that they Got Arthur. Kennedy he mixes it. Up you get the sense That Arthur kennedy can like tell a part the different parts of speech in a sentence when he says them it's. Nice.
Yes now his character has sort of a companion. Villain we'll get into the details in a. Bit Lady agatha played By Barbara bach in forty. Seven this was the bond girl from The Spy Who Loved me from seventy, seven.
Right she plays A soviet spy who comes up Against Roger moore In The Spy Who Loved. Me The Spy Loved me is a little. BIT i, mean all The Roger moore movies are. Goofy The Spy Love me is a little bit less goofy Than, Moonraker and so there's some spy versus spy action In The Spy Who Loved? Me where she's the she sort of starts off as a. Villain then of course they end up falling in, love as always. Happens BUT i recall her being actually pretty
good in That bond. Movie in, THIS i, mean she's great in the role because she like wears these these unbelievable wigs well and. Stuff BUT i gotta, say abs like the flattest DELIVERY i have ever heard of any line delivery at all in this, film.
Right so it basically it fits the tapestry of this.
Movie. Well, yeah but she.
Was in a lot of things back in the. Day she was In Sergio Martino screamers from nineteen seventy nine That i've mentioned several times, Here Forced ten From navarone from seventy, eight and also a film THAT i think you have told me, About Joe, Black belly of The tarantula from nineteen seventy.
One oh, yeah that's Another jallo. Movie it's one of these, slashery Trashy italian murder. Mysteries but this one has a really good. Cast she HAS i think a smaller part in. It the main character in that one is actually played By Giancarlo jannini and he's. Wonderful.
Now a bit character in, this And i'm just gonna mention quickly is Hal, yamanucci who was born in nineteen forty, six A japanese born actor who plays just humanoid soldier in. This so it's a very bit. Part but this is an actor that shows up in a ton Of italian and international. Pictures he's also been in such films As The, Wolverine The, Life, Aquatic zoolander. Two he's been in over one hundred films and was in several films from the
likes Of Sergio martino And Zog. Castellari he began his career as a. Mime he translated and Dubbed japanese language films Into, italian and he was even In Stuart Gordon's Robot jocks from nineteen, ninety, which to remind everybody our favorite battling robots film here. WAS i believe it was at least An italian co.
Production oh, OKAY i had forgotten that fact about. It. NOW i was not on the lookout for howl in, this so where do you remember what part of the movie he shows.
UP i never saw, him or if he showed, UP i missed. Him he might have been in one of those fabulous sort of stormtrooper costumes that we. See i'm not entirely sure about, that, okay but he has a very distinctive. Face so you can look up ON IMDb and you might well recognize him and, go, oh, guy, Yeah i've seen.
Him thanks for. Sure i'll have to look him up after.
This, now we Mentioned you're The hunter from The future, earlier and the director of, That Antonio, margaretti was the special effects supervisor in this.
Film now that would make sense of something THAT i caught here BECAUSE i was watching this movie AND i noticed a reused. Costume humanoid has costume overlap with Your hunter from The. Future, now AS i, Mentioned your is a very strange movie because it it's you, know it's Put genres in a particle collider where it's Part conan The barbarian with Reb brown From Space mutiny Playing conan
but like less. Smart and then the villain is just straight Up Darth, vader and he has stormtroopers who work for, him and so the stormtroopers who work for The Darth vader In your where the exact same costumes as some of the stormtroopers in this. Movie And i've attached some pictures for you to look, At, rob so you can se That i'm telling the.
TRUTH, YEP i looked at these, earlier and it is the same, costume if or at least the same, mask mostly the same.
COSTUME i. THINK i don't know if i'd actually recommend people try to Watch your BUT i would recommend everyone listen to the theme song of Your hunter from The, Future. Seth can we get a little clip of? That those are the sounds of yours.
World, well since we're talking about, music let's talk about the music in this, film because this may come as a shock given everything that we, Said but the score for The humanoid is by none other Than Ineo Morricone Indio.
Morricone Has is it? Okay? ROB i feel like you're you're SOMEBODY i respect your like all encompassing enthusiasm for electronically based, music because it seems to me usually if a movie score is, electronic you're gonna give it a lot of, latitude and you're you're giving yourself space to love. It AND i appreciate that about. YOU I i wanted to love, this BECAUSE i do Love Anyo. Morriconi BUT
i thought the music in this movie was. Terrible it had that that that theme that kept playing over and over that sounded, LIKE i don't, know it sounded like like the trophy ceremony music at The olympics or, something but but synthed.
UP I i readily admit that the music in this is kind of all over the, place but there but The cynthia parts of, it WHICH i think we're gonna play a sample off here in a. Minute The cynthier parts of it really struck a chord with, me in part because they remind me a lot of some elements that pop up in the early work of the electronic Duo boards Of, Canada, oh particularly some stuff on music
has A right To children there they're their classic. Album AND i actually went down a rabbit hole of like listening back To boards Of canada tracks BECAUSE i was curd BECAUSE i also was, like, well maybe it was a mix or some of their very early, stuff like
maybe they actually utilized a sample from this. SCORE i know THAT i know they were inspired by a lot of different elements AND i Imagine morricconi was in the mix for them as far AS i can, tell, Though, yeah there are just some things that kind of sound similar in some boards Of canada. FILMS i don't know if it's a direct connection there or they were kind of breathing the same synthetic, ambiance but it does remind me a lot of some moments in boards Of canada's.
Work there's even some visual tie, in because toward the end of the movie there's a part WHERE i was enjoying the cheesy synth score and they were like flying off into the sunset with the color scheme that looked very much like boards Of canada. Art.
Yeah, Yeah so now that we're talking about, it let's go ahead and have just a sample from this Seth this would be the. Track this Is infansia evolutione E Ritorno. Ritorno, yes this is off the soundtrack for The Humanoid Buy. Morricone, SEE i really like. THAT i think, THAT i, say it strikes a chord with me and, okay, okay it that the little ditty that we heard there is probably like responsible for seventy five percent of my enjoyment of this.
Film, WELL i want to meet you halfway on this because WHILE i do still think the music was surprisingly, TERRIBLE i mean any of. More connie is an amazing film. COMPOSER i mean he did the, Film he did the music For The, thing, which like Several carpenter. MOVIES i, Mean John carpenter is a great, director but he has a number of movies that in a way are just made by the. Score you, know like his own score
for For, HALLOWEEN i think makes the. Movie you take that music out of the, movie the movie isn't half as. GOOD i, mean it's still, good but you, know that's what pushes it over the. Edge similar thing For morconi's music In The, thing like that Dunt dune thing that drives the feeling of the. Movie it defines the whole. Tone, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely another couple Of Morricone and again there's so Many morricone SCORES i think HE i mean it, WAS i think it's hundreds of things that he. Did as four hundred scores on the big and small. SCREEN i believe it's the NUMBER i, saw but a couple that really stand. Out you have The, good The, bad And ugly from nineteen sixty, six just really iconic, work and then nineteen eighty. Six the nineteen eighty six Film The, mission which is
a beautiful and, tragedy just a wonderful. Film probably it got to be one of my top like serious motion.
Pictures, OH i don't Think i've ever seen that.
One, oh it Has Jeremy, irons it Has robert De, niro and it's about missionaries In South america and It's, yeah it's a beautiful tragic. Story and it has this beautiful. SCORE i, mean The mission sound the score By marconi is just absolutely. Breathtaking you've probably heard something from, it and, YEAH i can't do it. JUSTICE i can't properly explain. It But The mission is a wonderful movie and the soundtrack is.
Amazing, okay, well WELL i owe you watching that. One BUT i also SAID i was going to meet you halfway about The morricone, score which is. Good WHILE i don't REALLY i don't think the movie is well served by the melodies composed as like full music pieces this, MOVIE i do like the individual, sounds AND i can see how the sounds from the score of this movie could be well used as samples in electronic. Music.
Yeah, Yeah and apparently it has resonated. THERE i was reading that the two in two thousand and, three The german electronic Group Computer jockeys one, word not a GROUP i was familiar, with but they apparently did a reworking of the TRACK A man In space from the score for this.
Movie you. Know we were also looking at a very odd website that IS i don't know how exactly to describe. It it's like a fan website for The humanoid and For Richard keel that was looks like it was made in nineteen ninety, eight.
Yeah and hasn't Seen it doesn't seem to have, changed WHICH i, love SO i do recommend checking that.
Out what's the web address for? That, okay so we just had to look it. Up It's golob The Humanoid Glob Golob theehumanoid dot com and it has a page on. It it's all about like music that has been made as like popfan music about the. Humanoid so they've got one song on there that you can download by a band Called ganymede THAT i was not otherwise familiar, with but it's about the, humanoid AND i think there's other music, Too so The, humanoid you, know it really gets under people's.
Skin it, inspires it makes, it you, know gets those creative juices.
Flowing you're, right it's just an inspiring motion.
Picture can you, guess, Listener can you guess how this movie? Begins what we see on the screen at the beginning of the. Film could it be that there is a starfield with some nebulae in the, background and then a text crawl that rolls from the bottom of the screen to the. Top it's, true that is how it, starts and so what we get is a text scrawl WITH i can't remember is it narrated AS i think it, is BECAUSE i think the text is actually In italian
and gets narrated In. English so we get it read to us and we Hear, metropolis known ages ago as Planet earth now faces its gravest. Hour Lord grawl has just escaped from the prison satellite where his, brother ruler of the peaceful galactic, democracy had exiled. Him malevolent and power, Hungry grawl has plans of vengeance that might forever alter the destiny of. Mankind very, good BECAUSE i love how it starts with the prison, satellite as if you already know what that.
Is you, know it's also telling that because you know from the very beginning In Star, wars when the text moves across the, screen we already have a sense of a large, universe you, know and not all the details are filled. In there's a lot of stuff that is developed, later but we get the idea that this is an, expansive fantastic. World and in this picture we already get an idea of a small. World like everything feels small despite Its star. Warsiness that's a very good.
POINT i, mean, yeah just the text In Star wars makes you feel like the galaxy is, big a lot of stuff is, happening and we're coming in right in the middle of. Things this text suggests this world is, boring not much is, happening and we're starting here at the beginning before four things even really ramp.
Up, yeah and our fantastic location in space Is earth in the.
Future. Yeah like the way things start in this movie is not with crisis but with peaceful galactic, democracy and the opening text tells you there's a guy who's maybe about to mess that. Up but of, course right at the beginning we get spaceships, zooming because again this is A Star wars, ripoff AND i will say more so Than message From space or Even Star. Crash those are Both Star wars clones that we've talked about before and have their own. Charms this movie does way more direct
ripping off of set pieces From Star. Wars just blatant ripoffs of shots and sets and costumes from the.
Movie, yeah like A message From, space the star the, starships they all they all look different and they had kind of a cool, look and the models were very well. Done but, man this is just like a straight Up Star destroyer In, yes.
This one just starts with The Star destroyer sliding in right over the, camera like the opening shot Of Star. Wars. YEAH i know that shot gets copied in a lot of, movies but this one is the most blatant That i've ever.
Seen, yeah it's about as spot on as you could get without just actually.
Using a model of A Star destroyer or or just ripping the. Footage, yeah and the model they use is close, enough like you, know if you were, squinting you might mistake. It, Yeah and so you, know we get The Star destroyer coming. IN i think we're to assume already That Lord grawl is on this. SHIP i don't know why we know, that but that's just, implied and, okay, yeah we get. It Darth vader was on The Star. Destroyer Lord grawl's on this. Thing and we see a smaller ship approach
The Star. Destroyer it looks like it's some space cops or, something and they radio and they're, like, hey who are, you what's? Up and then The Star destroyer just annihilates it blasts, it and then we get the monologue Of Lord grawl before we see. Him we hear. HIM i guess he's like talking in his. Head he, goes those pilots were, sheep not. Soldiers my brother has made his army bloated with, peace.
You.
Know and this reminds me there are actually people who have had mentalities like this in history that, like you, know war is what makes people strong and peace makes people. Soft it's even Infected american thinking at. TIMES i think Unfortunately Teddy roosevelt at some points in his life was somewhat susceptible to this kind of, thinking, like, oh you need a good war to make your culture. Strong and
this Is graul's philosophy as. Well, yes yes it. Is but then we see him and oh my, god This Darth, vader, Dude Lord GRAWL i don't even know where to. Start he's got belts over his, face and so it's not a Full Darth vader. Mask it is A Darth vader helmet and Like Darth, vader kind of black leathery looking shoulder pads and the rest of the suit is Very vader, esque but instead of the robot face Of, vader we get a crucifix of black belts over the.
Face, yeah this Discount Darth vader, COSTUME i, think in many ways helps illustrate just how well the Actual Darth vader costume was designed and brought to. Life for, Instance Darth vader's helmet contains elements of the skull of a, samurai heilm of an, insect of a, robot but it hits all of these notes in ways that don't overwhelm, you you, know like there's a perfect alchemy to the way these elements come together In Darth vader's, helmet and
that's why it's become this just iconic. Symbol but this Design grawl's, outfit it leans way too heavily on first of all the samurai, Motifs like it's clearly just a just a shiny samurai helmet that you, know they painted.
Black and then he.
Has that weird face shackle across his face that kind of looks like it's it kind of looks like he's a punishment you, know like, yes like they've put his face in a gibbet or thel.
He got into the cookie jar and they're like put on the punishment.
Helmet, yeah like it has that man in the iron mask kind of a feel to.
It it just it just comes, off is. Weird Lord grawl is, sorry CAN i take the belts? Off so they're Approaching, metropolis, which as we've already been, told is Planet. EARTH i guess it's Just earth in the, future and Barth quator here sends out an attack ship that is piloted by a guy in a your, helmet you know the ones that are also in your and he, says he, says make sure there are no, survivors especially That Barbara. Gibson so, YEAH i just love. It Lord grawl has
put a hit On Barbara. Gibson, Yeah Barbara. Gibson and then we Meet Barbara gibson and this Is Koreean. Clary she's working at a place called The. Institute The institute is one of those places from you know seventies and eighties sci fi movies where everybody wears kind of billowy. CLOTHES i don't know what you call the texture of that, fabric but you, know it's Like Princess leah's. Dress everybody's just dressed like, that and it's on a planet THAT
i think is supposed to look like From Star. Wars this is another one of the things that we should get into this in more depth as we go. On but LIKE i was interested, In, okay when movies are trying to rip Off Star, wars what are the elements they rip? Off because they don't usually copy the overall story structure or anything like. That instead they copy specific esthetic elements Like Darth vader's suit and the desert Planet.
Tattooine all of These Star wars ripoffs have a desert planet like this with white earthen.
Buildings, yeah AND i think so if memory SERVES i don't have the figures in front of me, here BUT i believe they filmed this In, italy but also a little bit In, Israel So i'm not sure in any of these desert, scenes if we're looking at At italian landscape or we're looking at At Middle eastern.
Landscape BUT i would guess this Is, Israel, okay.
BUT i will say these are neat, locations you, know they they look interesting and they feel they kind of feel suitably, alien even if we're not actually on an alien world if this is Just. Earth BUT i liked it.
ENOUGH i was wondering, Though so it's an. Institute what do they study at this? Institute? Everything, yeah, Everything, okay it's the place of. Knowledge and So Barbara gibson is hanging out at work and then she gets a video call from a child who pops up on the video. Screen we learned that the child's name Is Tom, tom And Tom tom tells her that she must leave the institute and come home at. Once and so you, think, okay how is he going to convince her to? Leave
but he doesn't need to do any. Convincing it's almost like the video call the child hypnotizes her with like secret magic, words and then she just robotically in a trance, state walks out of work and goes. Home so immediately we know that That Tom tom there's something up with, him like he's got.
Powers, yeah this is, Yeah Tom tom as a magical, Child AND i Like Tom Tom Tom tom has a cool energy about. Him whenever he's he seems in control the whole. Time he's never really in peril in a way that made me feel. Uncomfortable so, Yeah i'm a big.
Fan oh were you kind of The Gene sisco school that you don't like it when a movie puts a child in?
DANGER i not, necessarily BUT i do find in some films that a child is put in danger in a way that the acting is a little too. Real oh, YEAH i don't, know and not a way that That i'm like completely like taken out of the viewing experience per. Se BUT i have seen particularly Some italian horror films Where i'm, like, oh, MAN i think that.
Child was really.
Terrified oh AND i don't. KNOW i just really Liked Tam tam here AND i didn't WANT i didn't want anything bad to happen to. Him but luckily he's super. Chill he's not worried about, it SO i be worried about it.
Either, yeah he never seems upset a single bit in this. Movie he is like amazingly. Calm he has clearly mastered some some techniques of emotional CAN i believe so immediately After Barbara gibson leaves the, institute there's just a stormtrooper. Attack they wander through blasting everything that. Moves they kill, everybody and they steal some mcguffin from inside the vault
at the institute that is called The. Capitron AND i was just, thinking, like why does this sound so, familiar BECAUSE i thought on a previous episode Of Weird House, cinema we have discussed a mcguffin from a movie that sounded like the dental device called a. Cavitron it's not ringing a.
BELL i, mean capatron sounds like it should be some sort of synthesizer from the late nineteen, seventies but it's.
Not And Anio morricone on The. Capitron but the lead stormtrooper has to go back and report to Barth quader That Barbara gibson was not at the institute when they, arrived and then Barth quader punishes. Him he's, like you are stripped of your privileges for one hun hundred. Days and THEN i was, like, ooh what are these? Privileges we're going to learn something about stormtroopers. Society what special privileges do they? Get and what is the punishment when
they're stripped of? Them but then. Nothing we never learned what that, means.
Like is it are the toilet privileges or is it or is it something like really nice like you don't get to play The xbox or something that is there for the. Stormtroopers you, Know i'm not sure how much this hurt.
Him clearly it was not The stormtrooper's. Fault The Barbara gibson was not at the. Institute Tom tom got ahead of them and he had no way of controlling. That BUT i think this is to show us That Lord grawl is, Unfair like he doesn't care if the reason you failed was actually your. Fault he'll take away your privileges for one hundred days. Anyway, yeah he's a terrible. Boss so then we go back to The Barbara gibson And tom tomhouse And Tom tom is just wiping the
floor with her at some kind of strategy. Game it looks like it's battleship or, something or chess on a computer in some, way and they talk about how even the computer can't beat, him and then she's, like where do you come? From and he, SAYS i come from a place far far away Where i've learned very. Much and my real name means Great ocean of, wisdom and so it. Is so he's not like her, child he is her. PUPIL i think she's a teacher and she's teaching,
him but what is she teaching? Him he already appears to know.
Everything, yeah he is an all powerful space. Child, Yeah and you, know that's that's basically all you need to know about. It and, honestly the movie gives us very little else in the way of.
Answers but then we meet some more. Characters we're going to get into the politics of this. World so we meet a guy Named Great, brother which is pretty close To Big, brother but they say he's the leader of The Utopian order Of. Earth and you, know an alternate way of reading this film is that Actually earth is not a. Utopia it is An orwellian nightmare state under the control Of Great. Brother and the movie is just like it happens to be written By Inner party members
that are loyal To Great. Brother and in, Fact Lord graul is the good. Guy he's like the he's being held up as The Emmanuel goldstein of this world so that all of our heroes can have a two minutes haite against, him but, No instead we Meet Great brother and he's, like he's chatting with this young guy Named, nick who is some kind of soldier And. METROPOLIS i think he's the young hunk of the. Movie he's supposed to Be Han solo, basically but far less, interesting dopier
and mopier with longer curly. Hair and they talk about the theft of The capatron. Device Great brother, says if word gets, out there will be a. Panic why would that, be, well he. Explains he, says it was the discovery of the most ingenious scientists That metropolis has had in this, century Doctor. Craspin it has the power to modify a man's cell structure and transmute him into some sort of
monstrosity with superhuman. Powers and So nick, asks, well why was the institute create a monstrosity beam And Great brother, SAYS i don't remember exactly what he. SAID i, mean, basically seems, like Well craspin had, tenure you, know he could do what he, wanted but somebody sniffed him. Out the person who learned what he was doing Was Dunda Da Da Barbara. Gibson Once Barbara gibson got on his.
Trail everybody found out his evil, plans and he was arrested because she tattled To Big, brother and The capatron was. Confiscated but now it's been stolen and nobody knows where Doctor craspin, is so there's definitely trouble. Afoot and So nick is given a. Mission Big brother tells, him you need to go Find Barbara, gibson SO i think he calls her Miss, gibson so you can Find craspin and save the. Planet and this part really made. IT i
laughed out loud here because there's no refusing the. Call there's No luke, saying you, know it's so far away from, here what CAN i? Do No Han solo saying you, know that's not bravery, kid it's more like sue. Side nick just says like all, right, boss.
Yeah and this brings this brings us back to some of the points we're making about About Star wars copies And Star wars. Rebuffs they they'd certainly go for the. Esthetics they go for these elements like desert planets and stormtroopers and laser. Guns maybe if they have the budget for, it they'll throw in some droids and some. Aliens But the thing that they never copy is they never copy the hero's. Journey they never get into the mythological underpinnings
that were that are so central To lucas's. Creations so there's there's never the hero of a thousand. Faces there's never any connection to the er. Myth you, know that's always what is.
Missing, yeah the ripping off is of the most superficial.
Elements, yeah and, ULTIMATELY i mean that's if you if you just get those superficial, Elements, yeah you don't Have Star wars because one of the things that always worked in The Star wars films is that you had that that mythological skeleton to the thing that was propelling things.
Along oh, yeah. Totally but, HEY i know a way to fix the hollowness of this, story which is Introduce Richard keel and a cute. Robot, finally that's immediately what happens, Next and thank god we got, here because up to this point the movie is rather. Dull.
YEAH i was having a very hard time paying attention to anything in this film until Finally Richard keele and the robot dogs show, up and then suddenly it's kind of interesting And i'm Like, Okay i'm beginning to see where we're going.
Here. Yeah, Yeah So Richard keel is cruising in space in his spaceship and he encounters some kind of. Problem he's trying to Contact. Metropolis they're not getting back to. Him his ship's breaking. Down. Oh his character's name is Go law But, golob and he's just generally having a hard. Time and then we see him take out his frustrations on his adorable robot, Dog. Kip he's, Like, Kip i'm mad at, you but then he immediately feels bad about, it And kip is just the cutest. Thing this movie.
SUCCEEDS i, Mean kip is not as effective emotional as The droids And Star wars. Are it doesn't have as much personality AS r TWO d, Two but because they went with with robot dog instead of just general, robot it gets automatic mileage out of dog.
Similarities, yeah and it. Is it is very cute in a kind of kind of analog.
Way you.
Know it's like, this it's a dog made out of keyboard parts and.
Stuff.
Yeah SO i enjoyed all the scenes Involving Richard keele's character and the robot.
Dog me, too AND i laughed out loud when the robot dog extended its telescoping antenna tail and wagged. It BUT i feel like this is sort of where the movie really picks, up when we Meet Richard keel and when we start meeting more of the bad. Guys, so, Yeah Richard keel is, fun the robot dog is, great and so they're flying around in. Space but then we cut to the evil enemy base on a planet Called Planet, knoxun which outside looks exactly the is the other. Planet it's just a. Desert.
YEAH i WHEN i watched, IT i thought they Said, Nixon SO i was, like the Planet. Nixon that's, great that's a perfect evil planet for the late nineteen.
Seventies, YEAH i mean it's pretty. Close but here we meet another. Villain It's Barbara bach and the first thing you will notice about her is that she's wearing an absolutely astounding. Wig it's kind of hair, metal but it's it's also something else that you've just never seen on a. Human the wig she's wearing is at the same time hair and a hood and a.
Helmet, yeah, yeah it's it's it's interesting, looking but you, know she's.
She's a very stylish.
Lady she's, uh you, know she's able to pull it off, somehow, somehow this doesn't look completely goofy on.
Her so like the front of this hair looks like the McDonald's, Arches like it goes up on each side and then comes, down and it's kind of fluffy in the, front which makes it look like a you, know fur lined hood on a. Jacket but then behind, that the hair suddenly turns rigid and flat and it's like A Darth vader helmet on the, back but it's. Hair, Yeah and she's wearing a really funny dress with like a riveted metal. Neckline all the bad guys in this were
stuff with riveted metal hymns on. It and it's pretty much immediately clear that what we're dealing with With barbara bak here is a space bathory because we get her and she's meeting with Doctor, craspin who remember the scientist who made The capatron who, Escaped and what they're doing when we first meet them is they put some poor woman into a plastic iron maiden that jabs her with a million hypodermic needles and it sucks out her life. Force And barbara back is just like, yes, yes.
Yeah it's kind of a horrific. Scene it's also the only scene like the scene that has any nudity in, it because the woman they.
Put into The Iron maiden is. Nude, yeah it's very strange because otherwise this could be a kid's, movie but then there's just unseen like ten seconds long that has nudity and brutal, violence and then if you were to just remove those ten, seconds it's a kids. Movie.
Yeah, Absolutely so it's totally weird that we suddenly go to this place and then we then we're back into everything that's come before.
Totally but SO i think we figure out what's going on here is that they are extracting the, fluids like it's Like Elizabeth, bathory you, know they're draining the liquids out of the local peasant girls so That Lady agatha here played By Barbara, back can can use this life force of these other women to stay young. Forever but doctor, Craspin, oh and this is a system that has been designed by Doctor, craspan much To Barbara back's, liking but he
has to warn. Her he says science may have conquered, age but it will never succeed in conquering, death and for some reason she's mad at. HIM i don't remember. Why she starts kind of sniping at, him but Then craspin is very smooth that deflecting. Hers he, says don't you trust, Me Lady, agatha DON'T i give you daily. Doses you haven't aged one minute since you've been. Here AND i, thought would you normally notice having aged one minute.
During the early parts of this, FILM i would, say, yes you definitely feel those minutes go.
By but, yeah they're talking about it like people can normally look At barbara back and say, like, oh you've really aged one minute SINCE i saw you one minute. Ago but she says to doctor crasp AND i trust no one and you know. It so this is clearly just a fully transactional. Relationship and then, oh the next thing Is Lord. Grawl remember Barth quader arrives and we realize That Lord grawl And Lady agatha are an. Item
they are. Together and when he arrives and Meets Lady agatha and crasp and he's, like, wow you are so. Beautiful you have not aged one. Minute and of course it's especially hilarious because he's still wearing the face. Belts.
Yeah, yeah this never comes. Off he never takes off this.
Helmet, yeah so the face belts are always fully. On even in scenes where it looks like he and he And Barbara bach are about to like have some, romance
the face belts are just right in the. Way AND i, think you, KNOW i was thinking about, this AND i was, Like Star wars made a smart decision by Keeping Darth, vader at least post his vadering basically, asexual because If Darth vader was trying to like have a dating life while he was building The Death, STAR i think that would not have added the right kind of depth to the. Film but here we get to see Their Darth vader's love.
Life he And Lady. Agatha it seems like they're going to be very happy together though.
In, away, like you, know she's worried about aging one minute and and absorbs the liquids of slaughtered peasants so that she can live. Longer he is a cold and motionless man inside of a face. Shackle that, so, yeah they seem perfect for each.
Other, oh but here we learn about the plan that's driving the plot of the. Movie so we learn that Doctor craspin is going to create For Lord grawl And Lady agatha an army of humanoids that will be indestructible human. Robots, again this is another one of those movies where they they pronounce it. Robot and then pretty much right after, this Doctor craspan notices he like looks on a telescreen
and he Sees Richard keel zooming around in space. Nearby you, know he's flying a spaceship outside The Star destroyer and, uh crasp or, OUTSIDE i guess they're at the base on Knox in at this. Point And craspin sees him on THIS tv and he's, like, oh that, guy that, GUY i want to turn him into an indestructible Human robut that's the Guy i'm going to. Humanoid so he uses he like messes with some switches on a panel to Make Richard keel crash land his ship on this.
Planet and then they they like he has some to another cute scene interacting with the, dog and then he's just basically hit with a missile that just blows his ship up, right, yeah and transforms him into a.
Humanoid, Right so he gets humanoided by a missile from. Space it's very beast Of yucca flats because he pops up and suddenly his beard is, gone like the moment he's. Humanoided he is now clean, shaven and let's see other transformation. Elements he can no longer. Talk he, Grunts, yeah he grunts and groans a, lot just rages around waving his. Arms, immediately some soldiers show up to shoot at, him and it does, nothing and he tosses them around like sacks of.
Flour And craspin's dudes capture the Rage golob by knocking him out with What crassman calls a very special narcotic. Gas and then they take him back to the base and, say, okay we can control him now because we put an implant on his.
Head, yeah there's this kind of third eye jewelry thing that they put on him and controls him.
Right And crasban says To, grawl in seven, Days metropolis will be populated by an army of humanoids at your. Command, oh when we skipped over one thing THAT i thought was really, funny because there's like a there's like an
interrupted romance scene Between Barber brock And Lord. Grawl here they're like in a room, together And Lady agatha says to him it is a great honor for me to be loved by the future ruler Of metropolis and the entire, galaxy and is the most absolutely flat line Delivery i've ever. Heard like, Yeah but Then Lord grawl's, like so you just want my power and she's, like only IF i can share it with, You AND i think they're about to, kiss BUT i don't know how they would kiss because
his face belts are in the. Way and then Immediately Doctor craspan like interrupts them by coming on the telescreen on the wall and he's, like, hey what's. Up i've got you a. Humanoid he's so, tall let's turn him.
In.
Yeah it is stupid, too because it's, like, okay he can only he. Directly he's like a mindless killing machine that's directly controlled by the implant on his. Head and yet he's going to command an. Army what how does this?
Work, Yeah i'm not quite. Sure but so they give a mission to the now humanoid did go, law but they send him on a hit job to kill great, brother remember Big brother from earlier In, metropolis And Lord grahl says to, him you will not stop until my brother is crushed to a pulp at your. Feet so they send him into this, place the city that looks like in the establishing. Shots it looks like when people make those aluminum casts of ant colony. Tunnels, yeah and it looks pretty.
Interesting and it reminds me of another thing that you see In Star wars ripoff movies is, that, certainly if you can create an alien, city you, know like, this that's. Great but also if you can shoot as, many like late seventies futuristic bits of, architects, sure you know that kind of future shot kind of, architecture, ye that also is a great, idea and they do that in this. Film there's some really interesting architectural choices that they use as backdrops at.
TIMES i think there are a lot of public library buildings that end up in these sci fi movies BECAUSE i don't, know you, know they've got some weird looking.
Staircase, yeah any, Oh, yeah if you can get a weird looking staircase and interesting hotel, atrium then.
Yeah you've got to put it in your. Movie so they Send Richard keel into the city Of. Metropolis, AGAIN i think the planet Is metropolis and the city Is, metropolis and the guards try to stop, him but of course nothing's going to stop. Him he's a. Humanoid so they shoot him with. Lasers it doesn't do. Anything he throws him on the. Ground the palace guards are being commanded by Again Nick, nick the guy from, earlier and the lasers have no, effect And golob is very.
Angry, yeah he's basically a Rampaging frankenstein in all of.
This, Yeah i'm throwing people on the. Ground the bad, yeah laser.
Bad.
Yeah and So nick goes to talk To Great brother and he, Says Great, brother you must leave the building at. Once there's some sort of mutant, outside and so they Evacuate Great brother And. Golob. Oh Then golob hijacks a land speeder just Like luke has in the First Star wars movie to go to the institute from, earlier because Somehow crasman knows that's Where Great brother has been evacuated.
To and then he busts in there and they try to set a trap for him where they're going to Crush golob in a hydraulic, press but that doesn't work because he's too strong for. It he just pushes it right back. Up and then there's an interesting moment Where golob has a chance to Smash Great, brother like he's
got him right. There he breaks through the traps and all, that But craspin for some reason gets greedy with his personal grudge and he's, like, no don't Kill Great brother, yet go Kill Barbara gibson.
First, Yeah crasman cares more about Killing Barbara gibson than anyone else in this movie cares about.
Anything, Yes and it's all for revenge Because Barbara gibson uncovered his illicit activities at the. Institute so he's, like you. Can't you can't Do Great brother until you do my revenge mission. First So golob then goes To Barbara gibson's house and there's a big chase scene where he's running, around smashing through walls and you think he's gonna Kill Korean,
clary but instead It's Tom tom to the. Rescue Tom tom is there and he uses some kind of psychic powers On golob to calm, him stop the, raging stop the hulking, out and they sort of kneel down together And Tom tom says to, him may your essence return to your. Body let me reach into your heart and into your soul and it.
Works, yeah and it's kind of. SWEET i don't, KNOW i kind of like the energy of, this you, know, yeah yeah.
Yeah but Then Korean clary this Is Barbara. Gibson she runs out into the desert BECAUSE i think she doesn't realize That Tom tom has successfully tamed the, beast and she is ambushed by. Stormtroopers but then we get this really weird sequence where the stormtroopers that are out to kill her are instead shot with like plastic neon arrows by these two mimes In Obi Wan kenobi robes that Are Tom tom's friends from another. Dimension he says they're foreign.
Travelers, yeah they're they're kind of like space, elves not in any like kind of like warhammer, sense but like in like they're just sort of like fantasy.
Elves, yeah very. Strange they come and go a lot in the. Movie they appear at random times to Aid Tom tom by shooting people with bow and. Arrow the movie has a lot of psychic powers and, clairvoyance and So Tom tom And golob then use psychic powers to reveal the location Of Lord grawl And craspin they find out they're On noxon and then When barbara goes to reveal this to the, authorities she gets, kidnapped kidnapped by a spaceship and taken to the evil Planet, noxon Leaving
golob along With Tom. Tom and of Course barbara's taken to The Lord grawl and she says with again absolutely flat. Delivery it's, like great brother will crush you like a. Worm and she's Now Princess leah from the Original Star. Wars she's held prisoner on The Death. Star and now we're toward the end of the, movie but we finally kick into very familiar Original Star wars. Territory, right it's a rescue mission To Lord grawl's star, base And nick
has to. GO i, guess BECAUSE i don't. Know he's the young honky, guy and he, says, Well i'm going to go on a single commando raid because that has the best chance of. SUCCESS i don't know why that would have the best chance of. Success why don't they send an entire. Army don't they have? One they're bloated by? Peace, Right, yeah that's, right they're bloated by. Peace Lord grawl was, Right so he's going to go on a mission to Rescue Barbara gibson and recover The. Capatron and then this
part made me laugh out. Loud golob goes up to great brother and he's, like Go, lob Go barbara my. Friend and so he's sort of regained some ability to, speak but not the full ability to. Speak he can only talk in the caveman monosyllable. Thing oh and then of Course Tom tom comes. Along he sneaks onto the. Ship so Like nick And golob are flying to the base And Tom tom just shows. Up and what Does nick say to? Him he's, like are you are you out of your space dimensions or something something like.
That it gets Very Star wars for a little bit, here and Just Star wars stuff, happens but it's still worth sticking with because there's a lot of cool stuff at the.
End, yes, yes, Yes so there's a space dog fight on the way there where they get attacked by, ships and this is again one of those like blatant ripoff. Scenes is just a direct copy of the scene In Star wars Where luke And hahn go into the ball turret guns on The Millennium falcon and fight off the tie. Fighters it's a direct ripoff of, that except here instead
Of luke And. Han it Is, nick the Lovable. NICK i did like in the scene, though How golob not approvingly every Time nick destroys an enemy, fighter looks At Tom tom and he's, like. Yep but Then nick gets knocked out and they crash land On Planet knox in which again looks exactly Like. Metropolis it's the same, desert and they get a reunion With kip the, robodog which is again truly very.
Cute, yeah this relationship is the heart and soul of this motion, picture.
Right so they have to infiltrate The. Bass so you've Got Richard keel And nick And Tom tom and Now kip the robot. Dog they're all working. Together they infiltrate the bad Guy bass by Having kip the robot distract the guards and then they all just run in the. Door and their method for Finding Barbara gibson in The secret Grawl lair is That golob says to the robot dog Bar bra and then somehow the dog leads them to. HER i don't know how that.
Works, yeah it's a. DOG i guess it can lead people to. Places that's how it works IN tv.
SHOWS i have several questions about the fighting that starts. Here so they have to fight some stormtroopers along the, way and a lot of this is hand to hand fighting with Like nick doing wrestling moves on. Stormtroopers why are they Having nick do the? Fighting Isn't golob indestructible at this? Point shouldn't they let him do the?
Fighting they, should because he certainly does a lot of the melee combat before and, afterwards doing all sorts of fun giant, moves you, know throwing guys. Around at one, point he does this wonderful number where he grabs a guy and like just pounds his head into the ceiling several. Times, Yea and yet he never does a move THAT i was, anticipating the one where you come up behind two stormtroopers and you grab their heads and you knock them together like.
Coconuts, yeah, yeah that stunds like.
That would be just a that's just a go to giant, move and it doesn't.
Happen that's that's money left on the, table my number one complain about this huge missed. Opportunity but then, meanwhile of course we got to have some some. Peril so we find out that Doctor crassman is going to Drain Barbara gibson with The Iron maiden Of needles to create
the most potent dose of serum yet For barbara. Back and so she's in the setup and they got the needles going in for, her but then the heroes bust in to rescue, her and Doctor crassman looks so betrayed in this scene when When golob shows back up and now he's working for the good, guys he, says the humanoids fighting for, them it's not possible and he seems really. Hurt.
Again best actor in the. Movie, yeah and it's in the in the bar is very, low you, know so when when Author kennedy's busting out those those, emotions like you feel them extra. Hard you're, like what is? This what AM i watching?
Here so the bad guys have to run out of the room and escape while they rest while the good guys Rescue Barbara. Gibson But Lady agatha is distraught about this because she needs her. Serum she's repeatedly saying, LIKE i need my seerum. Immediately IF i don't get, IT i might age one. Minute and then there is a hallway blaster fight that again is ripped straight out Of Star. Wars it's just the scene From Cell BLOCK aa twenty, three and then this evolves into a big blaster fight
and a spaceship. Hangar there's a great moment in this fight Where kip the robot dog defeats some stormtroopers by peeing on the floor and then they slip on it and fall. Over it's good at. First golob is Defeating stormtroopers by like knocking them on the, ground but then he gets a laser gun and he really tears up the. Place and this big action scene is, cheap but it's pretty. Fun yeah it.
IS i enjoyed this one a. Lot and again this is where you have A golob like smashing people's heads into the ceiling and so.
Forth. Yeah and so when this fight is going, on the bad guys are not doing so. Hot LIKE i said With Doctor crassman a minute, ago he sounds so, hurt like the bad guys really Seem you start kind of feeling bad for them Because Lady agatha is just clawing at the. Walls she's, LIKE i need my. Serum and Then Lord grawl issues the most forlorn and defeated order to kill them That i've ever. Heard do you remember this part where he says like kill?
Them, yeah, YEAH i mean you kill them or shoot them is as a frequent order given by by, villains but generally there's a certain amount of whimsy or or evil to. IT i MEAN i always come back to the Excellent Ronald lacy And raiders of The Lost. Arc you know where he, goes shoot, them shoot them, both you, know like that's such great. Delivery and, yeah Gral is JUST i don't think he believes what he's.
Saying he sounds like he knows he's. Lost he's just he's just. Begging he's, like kill. Them and then we get maybe my favorite special effect in this.
Movie, yeah that's, right because time has run out For Lady.
Agatha she aged one. Minute oh, no.
That one minute that was that was the last, MINUTE i. Guess, yeah so she ages that one minute and then she just Completely it's kind of a rapid aging, effect kind of a melting, effect but not done nearly anywhere near as well as what you would see and Say.
Raiders The Lost Arc orgon though the third.
One The Last, crusade where we had a rapid aging sequence that was pretty. Great this is neither of. Those it's more of a frame by frame, effect similar to some early werewolf transformation sequences you see in.
Pictures but it's still a lot of. Fun, yeah she turns into a rotten.
Skeleton, yeah so that was. Fun that's worth hanging in there for.
Now there's a bunch of other fighting stuff that. Happens at one point in the, Fight Tom tom and His archer mimes show up again to save the. Day they shoot the neon arrows at the bad guys While Tom tom does psychic. Stuff and then there was a part THAT i thought was very. Funny there was a brief hand to hand fight Between nick And Lord. Grawl so can you imagine If Star wars had a scene Where Hans solo And. Darth we're just punching and kicking each.
Other but eventually in the, Scene Lord graul whips out his secret, weapon which is laser. Fingers this is not a power that we knew he. Had it just appears out of nowhere and he starts blasting his laser fingers At. Nick but, eventually Even Lord grawl is no match For. Golob the Humanoid Golob bear hugs him and then he disintegrates inside his.
Suit, yeah this is kind of, weird kind of like a green screen. Effect and then the suit is, Empty gral is, defeated.
And of course the heroes escape the base as it is. Exploding and then you got the problem with The, capatron this thing that's supposed to detonate and create a bunch of other humanoids Like, golob And golob decides he's going to sacrifice himself by detonating The capatron under a, lake so he grabs. It he sort of falls on a grenade but, underwater and they think he's. Dead but Then Richard keel pops buck back up out of the water
and somehow he has his beard. Back it has unhumanoided him to fall on the grenade of The.
Capitron, yes it's pretty, great and he's, like like he doesn't really have any memory of what. Happened she's, like you look great in a, beard and he's, Like i've always had a. Beard it's, beautiful beautiful.
Moment, yeah and then we get absolutely bizarre twist ending THAT i have no idea how to, explain but we find out That Tom tom has got a sail off into the sunset because he explains that he is from another place Called. TIBET i assume that is supposed to refer To, tibet the place On, earth and so you'd think that this, is oh, well maybe this is like A i don't, know like one of those sci fi endings where, oh Actually earth is here and he's From
earth and this is somewhere. Else but that doesn't make sense because they tell us That metropolis Is, earth so it would not make sense to say That Tom tom was From earth all along this faraway.
Place is It is he From tobet in the past or DID i take that.
Up on my? Entering? YEAH i. DON'T i was, like is he a time traveler from the. Past that is the only thing that really seems to make sense to.
Me, Yeah i'm not. SURE i have no, answers BUT i did really like this this ending because, again it feels very boreds Of. Canada, yes it feels like we're just straight up teleporting into the hexagon sun here because
we have that. Analog it's like this analog dreamy summer, day psychedelic, vibe the sense of everything's gonna be okay because you have the Boy Tom tom saying all these positive things while The morricone Dream twinkle music goes on in the, background and the glowing cosmic barge floats into the movie from The gray havens or to bed or, wherever and, uh, yeah it's a good landing for the.
FILM i. Agree the end is just a slow cruise into the. Orange feels, good feels. Warm, yeah you do feel warm at the. End oh and we get some ending near. Too that was really. Funny it, said once again Planet earth had narrowly escaped. Disaster was there another? Time once again it had found in itself the, intelligence the, insight and the strength to repel a mortal. Enemy once, again man was to live at peace in the. Galaxy
awesome they wrapped it. Up, YEAH i Guess, yoh, Okay Star wars wasn't able to do.
That Like Star, wars they had to come back in subsequent films to flash everything. Out this film did it in one.
Picture that's a good. Point, yeah no additional storytelling. Required everybody lived happily ever. After, yes, so oh what to?
SAY i Guess in the, END i found this to be an enjoyable viewing, experience THOUGH i did have to force myself to keep watching. Through like the first ten minutes or. So, yeah and then there was certainly this kind of a potential dropout period later. On SO i would say that if you're to watch this, film you stick with, it or feel free to skip ahead a little, bit because you, know honestly you're not going to miss.
MUCH i would say this one is very different From message From, space and that they're Both Star wars. Ripoffs But message From SPACE i THINK i already said this, earlier but it has a lot more esthetic uniqueness and interest to, it like a lot more different colors and sets and costumes and alien designs and, things and it goes a lot more different places with the. Plot like in many, Ways message From space was kind of hard to follow because a lot of strange things happen in.
It this movie, IS i would, say the opposite end of the spectrum is it is very simple, plot very. Straightforward you might even want to fast forward some, parts but enjoyable in a similar.
Way, Ultimately, yeah and worth it definitely For Richard keel and for Author, kennedy both of whom are very very entertaining in this.
Film.
Yeah now you're probably, wondering, well where CAN i watch? It it's been ON dvd. Before i'm sure you can probably land it ON dvd if you look around in the right, place BUT i could not find a legit streaming source for it right. NOW i don't. Know it might be on twob but it's definitely been on, YouTube like one of the places where it's hosted on. YouTube it's been up since twenty, fifteen and nobody's bothered to
take it. Down it's not pristine. QUALITY i feel like you could probably get a better quality version of this if you had like a LEGIT dvd or, something but it's still.
Watchable somebody get us the FOUR K. Humanoid, yeah, yeah the FOUR k. RESTORATION i want to see. IT i do. Too there's several THINGS i need more detail, on one of which is barber box wig THAT i need to see the define grains and details of the hair that's going on there and where the seams. Are that's very. Important, yeah it was. Impressive.
Costume oh, YEAH i will say, overall like the costumes and sets and, miniatures, like everything looks pretty. Good some of the effects are a little afi, IFY i, guess but for the most, part everything looks pretty. Good it's Not Star WARS A New hope, quality but it's it's pretty. Good so it is the kind of film that would benefit from like a clear. RESTORATION i think maybe not FOUR.
K don't bring it up too don't bring it bring it up into too high a, detail but you, know it's it's an interesting film to look.
At put it in FOUR, k put it in EIGHT. K i want to see every molecule of this, movie.
Because that is a real concern with some of these. Restorations we've seen those that you restore it a bit too much and you're going to see too many of the, cracks you see too many of the wires and so, forth and in some cases that has to then be digitally.
Removed effects that used to look good don't look good. Anymore yeah, yeah or sometimes not even, effects just you, know the colors AND i don't know what you'd always call, it maybe the color grading and certain things about the film quality of the. Movie classic example THAT i recall is that the Movie, predator you, know the sci fi
action Movie, schwarzenegger looks good on THE vhs. TAPE i think it even looked good on the FIRST dvd that came, Out BUT i recall at some point there was a blu ray of, it and it was just, like, oh this is not. Right it looked like waxy. Huh. INTERESTING i think sometimes it.
Happens, yeah all, right, WELL i think we're going to go and close this episode out, here but we'd love to hear your thoughts on this movie Star wars in, general but certainly Other Star wars. Ripoffs what are your Favorite Star wars? Ripoffs what do you think about the esthetic qualities Of Star wars that tend to be reflected in these. Films all that's fair, game let us, know and next, WEEK i believe the plan is that we will continue and we'll finish our trilogy of Seventies florida.
Movies so we'll still be in the nineteen seventies next time In Weirdow, cinema but we'll be looking at the film Shock, waves which interestingly, enough has A Star wars actor in.
It it Has Peter. Cushion oh, well, Yeah so.
If you want to watch, ahead here's a, rare a rare end episode advance on the next.
EPISODE i haven't seen this, one But i'm looking forward to.
It in the, meantime if you would like to check out other episodes Of Weird, House. Cinema you will find this Every friday in The stuff To Blow Your mind podcast Feed we're primarily a science, podcast so our core episodes On tuesday And thursday are going to be science and culture. Base On mondays we do a little bit of listener mail about any and everything that we're talking, about and On, wednesdays unless we're, preempted we do an artifact episode with reruns on the.
Weekends huge thanks as always to our excellent audio Producer Seth Nicholas. Johnson if you'd like to get in touch with us with feedback on this episode or any, other to suggest a topic for the, future just to say, hello you can email us at Contact's stuff To blow Your mind dot.
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