From UFOs to psychic powers and government conspiracies. History is riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now or learn this stuff they don't want you to know. A production of iHeartRadio.
Hello, welcome back to the show. My name is Matt, my name is Noah.
They called me Ben. We're joined as always with our super producer, Dylan the Tennessee pal Fagan. Most importantly, you are you. You are here. That makes this the stuff they don't want you to know. It is time for our weekly listener mail segment. If you are tuning in the evening this publishes, let us welcome you to March twenty seventh, twenty twenty five. And what better way to kick this off than to ask Old Tennessee his newest interpretation of rude Vegas? What do we got time to
dig up the ruda vegas? Love it? Love it? Love it? Favorite part of the week. I think for many of us, perhaps in the crowd tonight, friends and neighbors, we have several of you on air in our exploration. In this evening's program, we're going to talk about astrology and the government got a lot of feedback on that. We're going to talk about we'll have some fun letters from home.
We'll talk about bots and post offices. Before we do any of that, I gotta tell you, guys, I want to brag about a listener who reached out to us and followed up on the idea of a street fighting game for birds.
And like made a sort of prototype of it. Didn't you play it, man?
I did play it. I did play I did play the game, and I've got to tell you guys, it's a lot of fun. We're in early days of development, so we we have to find out. You know, we've got we've got work to do. We just want you to know that this is this is something very much on the way. Big big thanks to Kyle who listened to one of our recent recordings and said, hey, I'll you know, I'm your Huckleberry. Also big thanks the person who pointed out the truth of the Huckleberry quote and Tombstone.
They said, Kyle said, I've made a Mortal Kombat style game but with birds, and we got to tell you, folks, it's pretty fun. Hopefully we can follow up with Kyle as the game continues to develop, but for now, maybe we pause for a word from our sponsors and get straight to some more bird stuff.
Yeah, all right, we're back and we're Yeah, then you nailed it. We're gonna kick off today's Listener Mail episode with some bird talk, one of my favorite topics. Guys. I play up the fact that I'm a little bit scared of birds, but I may have also mentioned that my position on birds has softened in this the twilight of my life, as I've begun to really enjoy the idea of becoming a birder because you can observe them from from afar.
You don't have to like get.
Right up the clothes and personal with them. But I have a couple of friends that are in Brooklyn, New York, and there's apparently real good burden there, like in Prospect Park and so many species of birds that exists in Central Park. It's I'm gonna get me a little notebook, a little mole skin, and some binox, and I think I'm going to become a birder.
Guys, come out my way. I got a okay for you.
I would love that, And I know you've got some serious binox yourself, Matt, but hopefully maybe with a little luck. If I'm hanging out in the middle Mississippi River region. Maybe I'll spot the piazza bird. Let's talk about you know, we'll see, let's talk about the piazza bird. Gentlemen, easy rights, longtime listener, first time callers.
So to speak. Here.
I always love a good Cryptid episode, and I loved the recent one, But one of my favorites was missing the Piazza bird. If you never heard of it, it is fucking bad. Beat me there, Dylan, I think you must have already done it. Basically, ancient Native American paintings, especially one huge one of the thing, were found along the bluffs north of Alton, Illinois when they were going to build a road beside the river, and it was preserved and touched up by boy scouts. That's cool, which
is a bit sketchy on its own. Well, I guess fair enough. Maybe they're using child labor. But the painting, if you look it up, and I know you fellas love your research, is absolutely epic. To call this thing a camara is an understatement. It's huge as a bison, with deer antlers, a goat's beard, huge vultureish wings, gnarly teeth, and red eyes. I'm not saying this thing could take on a thunderbird, but I'd pay to see that fight. Hey, we got two more competitors that have entered the Ring
of a Bird game fighting game. Talk to Kyle about this Ben. So here's where it gets interesting and or crazy. We don't really know much about this thing or who originally painted it. Much like the huge Native American city of Cahokia. I think that's right very near Alton, Illinois. The Native group responsible for the cave paintings were gone by the time they were rediscovered. In fact, as big as Cahokia was, stretching on both sides of the Mississippi
from modern day Saint Louis to Collinsville, Illinois. It could even have some relation to Kohoka and the ancient mound builders, who I'm fairly certain I've heard you guys talk about before. That's accurate. Easy Could it be to borrow a phrase from the History Channel that the ancient mound builders of North America knew of mythical beasts such as the piasa bird which no one else had seen, And could it be this monster cryptid led to their demise? Those are
my History Channel voice. I don't know, guys, sounds like fun to dive into. Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic as a former rural southwestern high school peace Yaza bird. Oh, I love a good high school mascot. That's a good one. They have a pyrotechnic fueled mascot and it is fun, extra fun. But I would love and appreciate if you did an episode on the Piazza Bird. Thanks, easy, Well, easy, Well, we may not do a full episode on the Piazza bird itself. It certainly could well be an injury into
future cryptids. You might not have heard of episodes, but we're going to talk about it right now. I had some luck looking up this very image and a good story from actually the Illinois State Museum's website. They've got a really interesting account from Louis Jolier from sixteen seventy three, who was a woodsman cartographer, and father Jacques Marquette, who was a Jesuit priest, and they led the first European exploration of the Middle Mississippi region that we're talking about here.
And in his journal, father Marquette described this pictograph that Easy mentioned, which the expedition observed on the rocky bluffs above Alton, Illinois. This is what he had to say. While skirting some rocks, which, by their height and length inspired awe, we saw upon one of them two painted monsters, which at first made us afraid. I love the biblical cadence of this, and upon which the boldest savages dare not long rest their eyes. They are as large as
a calf. They have horns on their heads like those of a deer, a horrible look, red eyes, a beard like a tiger's or a goat's, to Easy's point, a face somewhat like a man's, a body covered with scales, and so long a tail that it winds all around the body, passing above the head and going back between the legs, ending in a fish's tail. I don't think Easy mentioned that green, red, and black are the three
colors composing the picture. Moreover, these two monsters are so well painted that we cannot believe that any Okay, this is problematic, but it's history that ain't Savage is their author? For good painters in France would find it difficult to reach that place conveniently to paint them. Here is approximately the shape of these monsters, as we have faithfully copied it. And then they did a little sketch of what they saw. Pretty cool, guys, I had not heard of the piazza bird had either of you?
It was new to me.
I I actually, Easy, I owe you an email. I had I had heard of this because you know, we're researching our series on cryptids you haven't heard of and the origin story, the provenance of it is fascinating. And I'm on the fence, folks, Matt nol You guys, Dylan, tell me do we want to hear the origin or do we want to save it? Because there are people with some strident opinions.
Oh, I think this is the perfect opportunity to hear about the origin. I just found that little snippet about the discovery of it or the early discoveries and descriptions of it. But yeah, it seems like these the priest and the woodworker had very similar questions.
Yeah. So good news, Easy, is that the bluff paintings are very much real. If you go to places like illinoishistory dot com, you'll see that there are scholars who feel that similar to the Jersey Devil story, something has been something has been embellished and expanded upon the one modern legend of it. Let's put it that way. One modern legend comes from a eighteen hundreds era writer who
was known for genre, romance and adventure books. And he had a thing published in the Family Magazine in eighteen thirty six called the Piazza, an Indian tradition of Illinois. And he essentially retells a legend, right, he retells an indigenous people's legend. And if you're the average reader, then of course it sounds like this guy is faithfully being an armchair historian. Apparently, this guy, John Russell, later in life, goes to his son and says, I made up the story.
I made up the story to sell some stuff, and it includes a lot of a lot of the things the earlier noted writers are saying. This is why I'm on the fence, because I don't think one guy mythologizing something means the entire possibility of a cryptid's existence is somehow therefore in question. You know it just it got reprinted in so many newspapers of the day, and people started mistaking what the author himself said was fiction as fact, which happens. It's a game of telephone.
Well, yeah, I mean, you've got the original quote. Discovery of it right sixteen seventy three, the first time it's written down right, somebody talks about it, it makes it makes its way to the western world. Then you've got, you know, over one hundred and fifty years later, you've got Russell coming forward and writing out, as you said, Ben, recounting this tale of a creature that in fact killed a bunch of warriors and ka chief and all.
That cadetas nippet. From the account, it's it's it's very I mean, it's it's exciting. It's the stuff of novels for sure. Let's see, he says. The name is Indian and signifies in the language of the Illinis, the bird that devours men. He says, the Piazza once terrorized Native American villages, killing many warriors before it was slain by the chief Oitaga, who had offered himself as bait and had twenty warriors with poison arrows weighed in ambush for
the monster. When the Piazza swooped down to attack oh Atwoga, it was killed by the barrage of poisoned arrows, thus saving the tribe. Russell added a little extre detail here. All the tribes of the Upper Mississippi and those who have inhabited the valley of the Illinois. And Russell attributed this tale, you know, continuation of an oral tradition established by, as he described, all the tribes of the Upper Mississippi and those who have inhabited the valley of the Illinois.
But you're right, and it was totally proved to have been confabulated by this author. And another thing that's pretty interesting that I didn't realize when I was looking up pictures of it. I was like, gosh, that sure is vivid and modern looking. Well, it's because it is the one that's there now in place of the old one,
which has worn away over time. It has been recreated, so as a very vibrant, rich looking recreation of this mythical creature on a cliff overlooking the Mississippi River north of Alton, Illinois.
Two things. First of all, Dylan, you saw this thing last year. You said, holy cow bury the lead.
Why don't Jim, Yeah, sorry, I wasn't looking at the chat. Dylan.
You can either chat to us or you can say something. But you you were physically there and you saw it.
Yeah, it's the last summer. Did it strike terror into your very heart.
Wait wait, wait, did you see the creature or did you see the depiction of the creature.
I saw the depiction of the creature. It was larger than I imagined it would be.
We'll get him next time. But let's go on a road trip.
Yeah, we'll go burning. Let's go on a mythical birding expedition.
I would say, if we were chasing after this creature, I don't think we're going birding, boys, I think frosting.
Where's belunking? Because Russell Russell also like the banger. Part of his story easy is that he says, not only is everything I said true and he was, you know, lying U he says. He says at the end, like at the end of his account, which is again syndicated widely republished, he says, I found a cave in the nearby bluffs that was heavily littered with skulls and bones. So he like the d of the monsters. So he pulled the Geraldo rivera going into the vault kind of thing.
And you know, despite the name, the Piasa doesn't really look like a burden. I think he pulled Russell, I mean pulled a lot of his sources from pre existing obviously traditions and stories, and he also, I don't want to say plagiarized, but he definitely drew inspiration from the eighteen thirty three autobiography of a warrior named black Hawk. Yeah.
I mean to me, this thing really has the look of a like a traditional griffin almost, you know, but larger, and I think with the horns or maybe extra and it doesn't have a beak so but still the wings, the scales, the talons, and the kind of dog like face. I guess griffin's more have an eagle like face. But still it definitely feels like a mishmash of different mythel
logical creatures, whether from Native American culture or beyond. So thanks Easy for hipping us to the Piazza bird, and and thanks Dylan for you know, having gone to see it and telling us about it that it was large.
I found the cave where the dastardly Piazza bird, Dylan, I know where the bust it sleeps.
Dylan, your your my favorite. Keanu reeves it's true.
I know, kung Fu. Well, we're gonna take a quick break here a word from our sponsor, and then come back with more listener.
Mail and we've returned. Guys, we are going to jump to an older message because we're still getting through the ones from February.
Uh.
This one comes from Well, I'm gonna let them say their name because it's one of my favorite names that we've had come through and quite while.
Uh.
And it is in response to something we're very familiar with.
Hey there, folks, this is Noble Grand Humbug Babybirds.
All right, welcome you're.
That serie episode And it couldn't help but remind me of working at the post office.
What was that inversion point?
Where? What point is it just bots feeding off of bots and algorithms feeding off of algorithms. We're at the point at the post office where all these automated systems play together. It doesn't matter if you actually do your job. It only matters if the systems think that you've done something. For example, I work in a very world post office and we we're lucky if we get one paying customer a day at this point, and it's all the same people that come in by a stamp or whatever. We're
supposed to get surveys. There's a little QR code on the bottom of the receipt. You're supposed to take the survey, well, your phone can only take one per month, so they're expecting a whole bunch of different people to come in and take service. But we do not have that kind
of community here. We have very few people. So we get phone calls from the people up top saying that, hey, you guys haven't got your survey for the week yet, to the point where we have to buy stuff from post office, buy a stamp from the post office that we look at just survey to stop the people up top from reading the computer and saying, you guys haven't had a survey yet. So it very much reminds me of just bought feeding off of bots. Doesn't actually matter
what we're doing here. If we do our job, it only matters that the survey gets taken. It doesn't even matter if the survey.
Is good or bad.
This matters if it happened or not. Thanks guys, take care, have fun.
Take care, have fun.
Perfect let's try to do let's try to do both. Oh man, So we're talking about noble grands, humbug, baby bird. We're talking about the idea of dead internet theory a little bit here.
Oh yeah, he is' that's what he was listening to that inspired him to call right, just this concept that as numbers especially get strange and large on the Internet, if you're talking about social media, you're talking about page views, talking about all of the metrics that that corporations and advertisers used to measure this success of something like what happens as we talked about in that episode, when it's just stuff being input there to make the numbers look
good rather than the actual things that would be worth buying. Let's say, as an advertiser.
Just two empty mirrors reflecting absence. I'm sorry I was laughing during the message there too, no n G HBB, because I just love the approach there, the heller esque catch twenty two acknowledgment of how silly some system can be and saying that as a huge proponent and supporter of the US Postal.
Service, Oh for sure, what's the slogan rain, sleet, hail, whether rain or sleeps something, It's just screw it. You're getting your mail, dude.
Say though I think I mentioned this to Ben actually when I was texting I ordered something and it was I didn't realize this at the time, but it was shipped via the US Postal Service and it was just like this small little digital recorder thing that I got from this audio production music store kind of company, online company, And it took about two and a half weeks to get to me from the United States, from like the
like Middle States. I don't know what's going on with the post office, guys, but it doesn't seem very good.
Seems really weird.
Seems really weird.
And also just thinking more and more about this, just this concept of using a survey as the feedback system. I don't know if you guys, you know, get served with stuff you do all the time. Yeah, it seems like it's with every service or purchase you make there's a survey associated and then like seven emails reminding you to take that survey that you ignored that you're not gonna ever take when we're still gonna get emails about.
All right, Matt, I'll put it to you this way, and it also for you, humbug baby. If I could be a little bit familiar the thing with surveys, I don't know, maybe it's like the boy Scout volunteerism stuff, but if there's a person associated with it, like if I had to sat sit on the phone with someone and I know that it can help them in the future no matter what happens, unless they're just an absolute pill or an absolute drip, then I will I will
go to the mat on that survey. I'll be like, not only is this ten ten customer service rep, but you should promote them immediately. I was gonna, you know, I'll even embellish, just like our guy with the piazza Bird. I'll be like, I was going to, you know, to get out of this company altogether. But Janine changed my mind.
Ben is single handedly responsible for more promotions and customer support than any single human being in the United States.
Of Thank you for doing the good work, Ben.
I think, but you do surveys, right, we all do.
No, No, I really I've done it a few times. When I purchased my home, I used several contractors that I gave surveys to because I thought that very thing what I'm maybe skeptical of is the thing that noble grand humbug baby bird is talking about, uh where. It doesn't matter what the feedback is, It just matters the metrics that that people are responding right.
Engaged.
Yeah, I mean That's what I think about, especially with larger corporations or some of the places that I get the constant survey from, no matter what I do, even like a doctor's office or something like what I why do you want it?
Okay, it's yeah, I hear you. Because at some point too, especially in larger systems, it may be someone's entire job, and so they have to, you know, defend that by saying, you know of x amount of people engaging with our service z amount responded to the survey, and as long as that's above a certain threshold, then I'm good. You know what I mean, don't reorg me.
Yeah, Well, because how do you get a comment right on a video? Somebody either likes it enough that they want to interact with the creators of the video in some way, right imagining that they're talking to the creator, or somebody hates something enough or is offended by something or angry about something enough that they will post a comment. And you have to imagine that's probably the same with
you know, this kind of surveys. It's somebody like Ben who wants to do good for someone, right, Like, I really enjoyed that.
Thank you.
I appreciate you. Or it's somebody saying this was the worst experience of my life. I'm never using your corporation again, and go away, and I fart in your general directions, right.
It encourages extremes of the bell curve.
Yeah, and maybe theoretically you could use some small bits of feedback to improve your business. But I just I don't know. Maybe I just I'm missing something because you think about the people that take surveys, the number of people that respond to a survey, and then how that shapes the data you collect.
I don't respect. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sure all of us in the audience tonight, especially in the US, have received cold text messages asking you to respond to some sort of survey or voice some kind, usually a political opinion of some sort. I don't respond to those. Maybe we should, I don't know. We talked in the past about how we're all getting weird tech.
One of the things that I think stuck out to all of us here with your message humbug baby again, if I may be familiar, is the fact that you work at the post office and you have to take the survey, and you have to spend your own money to buy a stay up so you could do the survey again? Did I hear that correctly?
Yes?
That is what has been stated here.
They can't just what what? Why?
Yeah?
Yeah, let's go further all right?
Uh, noble bird, if I.
May, if we may be so familiar, you.
Just take two from their grand baby. How I would like to know specifically how much of the correspondence that flows through your post office is some kind of paid flyer or you know, just the junk mayor absolutely that that companies pay a lot of money to you know, both print package and then send out. But like how much of the post office is now propped up by just corporations trying to get the word out?
And my question too is like it must work on somebody or else they wouldn't do it because it is expensive, like you said, But I'm like, who are the people that these random flyers that come in the mail like work on so effectively? I don't understand.
You guys got to get into a persona hacking, you know, demographic hacking. Make sure like leverage the I love where we're going here, because we're also starting to argue that something similar to dead Internet theory may apply to physical mail in the USPS. Right, So if that's possible, then
it means it is likewise logically possible. And I don't think there's anything ethically wrong with this to sort of position your postal address to receive very specific, you know, flyers from from some regular company, like start getting start getting those weird catalogs for fancy watches you're never going to order, start getting those invitations to weird cruises or you know, space exploration trips that you might never take.
And now, all of a sudden, the next time the eye of state surveillance sore on focuses on you, it'll say, not that guy. You know, he's clearly, clearly a one percent despite living in this apartment.
Like shel persona roommates that that hang out with you wherever you live at your address. So you've got stuff coming in for Don Credible, that's his name, Credible, stand.
Up bull down right there you go, nob right bullying with a G.
I love it.
I really like that idea.
See that last part's a little illegal. Oh oh really yeah, it's like a little it's like a little it's a little illegal. Oh man, But you.
Could associate a name with an address just on like various online forums that doesn't where you don't need to have an ID or anything, and then you could.
Be you could be mistaken, you know what I mean, my bad.
I can have virtual roommates if I want to. It's a merco Okay.
Dolly credible is real to me? Your honor? Yeah, I do like the court case there, but it is a yeah that that gets us to uh, you know, it reminds me a little bit of oh, what was that excellent Gravity's Rainbow? Do you guys remember that one?
It's one is notoriously hard to finish. People to finish it, say, it's weird.
It's to get to the end of the rainbow is hard.
It's like infinite jest.
It's like one of those books that's just notoriously like a little bit of a slog but supposedly quite rewarding. If you there is that Thomas Pinshew.
Yes, yeah, you're correct, Yes, whatever. Well, the reason we're bringing up there is just because if we could be so familiar grand hum hum baby. Uh, if we could be so familiar that novel has this thing about a secret conspiratorial postal service.
Uh.
And what you were saying there Matt inspires me to return to that idea. There was if I could tell a tale out of school that might be interesting to our baby bird. Here. For a while, her friend Matt lived near this amazing bookstore that had something very like a pension secret post going on. In the basement of this bookstore, there was a and you remember this, there was a tiny corner that had all these zines and revolutionary propaganda and ways for people to communicate with each
other outside of social media. Increasingly, that's the thing, you know, the big guys don't like, but I love seeing places like that.
Yeah, sh don't tell anyone, Ben.
Okay, it's just between us millions of people in the n Essay.
Yeah, do not look for the zines beneath the cat's layer somewhere in Shambly. You'll find it and then you can go have a nice hookah right next door.
Oh right, you love that place. Do also to this question, guys, to the story that Grand Noble of the Baby Birds is bringing up here, do we think it is possible, to your earlier point, now that these companies engaging in mass marketing via post, is it possible that they could support the post office such that you don't need human to human correspondence more.
Yeah, I don't know it. It does feel like the post office is less and less relevant given other options that are more efficient. But at the end of the day, you still I had to send a certified letter the other day and you have to do that through the post office. Does maybe UPS or FedEx have an equivalent to certified mail or is that strictly in the domain of the post Office? I guess so. I guess you could say anything, get a tracking number, that's all it is.
So maybe the answer I just answered my own question, But I just yeah, I do kind of wonder of all the agencies that are like being stripped right now and dismantled and stuff like. Well, then again, though it is affordable, I guess then to sort of a right to be able to send things through the mail, I don't know.
I feel like it depends on the degree of certification, because certified mail is the legal threshold is USBs?
Yes? Correct? And can I just say I am not advocating for the dismantling of the postal service for any postal workers out there. We appreciate your work, and it just it feels like it's an organization that has dealt with a lot of staffing shortages and equipment issues and things like that. So I know it's not an easy job. And I absolutely appreciate my mail carrier that comes and drops off, you know, those trash items in addition to
some very important items. From time to time, I just do wonder, like what is the long outlook for something like the postal service?
And we do hope you put out a new album.
Soon, tru I don't think it's ever going to happen. That was a one off.
No, it will happen. Okay, guys, I had this vision as we're talking here. So when these companies send out this piece of automated mail, generally they want you to take action somewhere online, right, They want you to take some kind of computerized action.
Some digital financial Yeah, well yeah, but digital work. Right.
So we're in when we connect it back to the dead internet theory, a lot of those system are automated already to get the mail printed and then to you.
Then there's theoretically, very soon all of these digital assistants and all these you know, all of these things that are being created for the consumer that will automate all of that stuff that is that's coming, that is happening right now, there will be this thing where it's just robots sending you things physically through the mail that your robots will read and either reject or take action on, even if it's something important that you need to take action on.
Yeah, wasn't this like let's spin it out, let's give it through, dude. So I believe we talked about this an evening years back. The possibility, the end spectrum horizon possibility of this is a world in which, for one reason or another, no physical humans exist. It is a
dead planet human wise. The systems that the humans built are still playing with each other, and the agglomeration of call and response between these different systems emulates human activity, so that such that if aliens were to land right or ancient astronauts were to return or whatever, they would maybe figure out how to look at a server and say, well, yeah, there are all these there are billions of people who don't really exist, and guess what, they're super busy. They
hang out and send mail all the time. I guess you just need to get a couple of physical robots like hardware that could empty the mailbox. There at the end of the world. Whoh oh.
I'm just going to visualize that for a while.
Ray Bradberry has a great short story about a house in that situation.
Speaking of Ray Bradberry, last night, I was looking for something to watch and stumbled upon Ray Bradbury Theater, a show up from the eighties that is very very eighties or maybe his late seventies even, but I've never seen Ray Bradberry as a human before. And he typing, and he's surrounded by all this weird ephemera, and he's saying, ay, I look around and I get a story idea from the creepy doll in the corner or whatever. And it's
so goofy and kind of ham fisted. And I always thought of him as a mythical creature, and it was a little funny to see that he's just a dorky old man, like every other great author. No, not every but it's it was very interesting to see.
It's like seeing that guy do the frozen Peas commercial. Who is that?
Remember we're talking about Orson Wells. Wells he did many a weird commercial, dude, oh, when it was often quite drunk. There's one he did for like a wine company. It's I almost want to say that bit in a Shit's Creek where Moira Rose is doing this wine ad and she keeps drinking the wine and getting drunker and drunker. I almost want to say, they got the idea for that from this Orson Wells thing. Look it up. You can see the outtakes. It is wild. He is Tanks.
He's a great director too.
Great director, great actor, poly math, genius, very incorrigible, weird old dude. Have we talked abouts for Fake, his kind of faux documentary about magic and art forgery.
Hmm, I have not.
You guys would both very much enjoy it, and then folks in the audience I think would too. It's just like it's this. It's about the line between you know, reality and and uh, you know misdirection, I guess. And he narrates it and parts of it are documentary, but parts of it are fiction, and it's sort of about blurring the line between the two, and art forgery is a big part of it, and magic stage magic. It's a really really weird and interesting film that he made later in his life.
Wow, guys, I am thinking it's a sign that the Freckles stop it, okay.
Images and what is it when they touch they're perfectly when we kiss their PC.
All right, thank you so much, noble grand humbug baby bird for calling us and letting us know what's going on down to the postal office. We're gonna head out for now, but you will be seeing us waving from such great heights. We'll be right back after.
Come down now, sponsor, come down now, they'll say, well, wagging their finger.
And we have returned with the final act of our
weekly listener mail segment. Guys, we got so much input or response from from our conversation about astrology in the government, our series that focused on some historical precedent in the United States as well as some events more recently in mean mar And you know, candidly, we want to approach something like astrology with great care, right with great diplomacy, because we do know it means quite a lot to quite a few people, and there's another contingent of people
who find it somehow offensive. Right, So we hope that we did. We hope that we did right by everybody in the gang with giving you, you know, the facts as they stand and the ways in which world powers do use astrology in that discourse. As a result, we had a lot of great correspondence with people who picked up the torch that we passed and said, well, let me think through you know, a possible, a possible way to scientifically prove some grain of truth through astrology. We
alluded to some of our own theories about it. For our fellow conspiracy realists who wrote to us, we shared those theories. We're having spoiler some pretty fascinating conversations about artificial intelligence quote unquote, and the idea of horoscopes that we share. One piece of correspondence from a fellow listener who reached out to us and just gave us, like their perspective on not just astrology in the government, but
astrology in humanity. Before we do that, guys, horoscopes for AI, are we onto something?
Yeah?
What do you mean? Okay, yeah, before we get to Sam's letter. All right, So in that overly thorough thing, I kept sending the idea here or our basis, our thought experiment assumes that gravity is unknowable, right, and people still don't understand two things, gravity and the development of the human brain, especially in the gestative or fetal stages. So is it therefore then possible that certain minuscule gravitational effects from the position of heavenly bodies could somehow affect
the development of the human brain. And from there we naturally spun the question out, gamed it out to ask if that is the case, then could gravitational effects that are ostensibly minuscule, could they have an effect on the development of AI or non human minds? Fund at parties?
Okay, on undsteen the minute to unwrap that, Matt, seems like you're quicker than the draw than me.
Well, so, the idea is that the gravitational effects could affect the humans, who are then affecting the creation of the artificial intelligence.
Oh, I didn't think about that. That's a good one. I was thinking more directly the idea that if a non organic mind reaches past a certain threshold of sophistication, could its hardware be influenced by gravitational effects such that it might affect the tendencies or the disposition matrix of the mind.
I feel like I'm reading directly out of Ben Bollen's theory on determining the possible scientific basis of astrology.
All right, well, then we could get a better title no, No, we could get a better title.
It's like a scientific paper. I'm looking at it right now. Holy mackerel.
We'll just speak through it, you know, horoscopes for AI. I feel like that's interesting. But with this in mind, I'm just as always eternally hungry for your thoughts. Guys. Sam wrote to us. Uncle Sam sorry wrote to us and said, hey, uncle Sam here, I wanted to share a few thoughts with you regarding those episodes about astrology.
First thought about Reagan. In addition to the astrology, I remember reading that Ronald also believed the world was going to end, or at least that civilization was going to collapse in the year two thousand, the year two thousand thousand, and he based his policies on this belief. Do you know if there's any merit to this? Have you guys ever heard that?
No?
I haven't either. Was he one of the was he maybe one of those folks who are you know, there's a certain contingent of folks who are religiously driven to hasten the apocalypse. We've talked about those guys in the past.
Well, maybe he was trying to stop it. That's why he Yeah, you know, took down that wall.
Maybe he did, maybe he did stop it. Maybe I don't know. I wonder if because he was definitely into the whole American ideology of a city on the hill, right and standing stalwart against the evils of the world, and he definitely seemed to be a religious dude. But I don't know how far it goes. Is like, would you want to have a president who was vince the world's going to end on a specific date? That's a little culty.
Yeah, but okay, And again, no disparagement to anybody who's sure there anybody's religious beliefs, but there's a certain doomsday philosophy wrapped up in certain sects of Christianity, certain you know, evangelical wings, and we've certainly had high level politicians and you know, presidents that kind of go in for that kind of stuff. I don't see how it's that much different.
Yeah, you know, I think that's an astute observation. We'd love to hear your thoughts, Reaganites or anybody who met Ronnie firsthand. I want to thank on air Noel again for getting the etymology of the Gipper worse Kipper I was not aware of at the time. We have another thought from Uncle Sam, who says, my second thought is regarding astrology. I want to make the argument that is
not completely hocus focus. To be clear, I'm not saying daily horoscopes or accurate predictions or anything of the sort. I'd like to take a step back and consider the possibilities in a logical and I'm going to say it scientifically based manner. And so with this, and we'll cut a little bit for time with this, Uncle Sam, you provide several links to some fascinating studies, one by the National Center for Atmospheric Research, one by the good folks
at Columbia University. And the study from Colombia is interesting because it finds correlations between the month a person is born in and the health conditions they will later develop.
Well, Ben, we certainly know that there are forces at work from celestial bodies that govern things like the tides, and you know, we've even seen examples with women's you know, menstrual cycles having to do with lunar cycles as well. Again, I'm sorry, I'm sort of like being a little general, but I would put forth, is it that much of a stretch believe that there are forces exerting themselves on us and on our fragile fetuses, you know, at certain
times of the year that could make changes. I don't know. I think it's certainly a valid thing to consider.
Awesome, Yeah, yeah, because the thing I was talking about is about the possibility of maybe gravitational effects on a developing human brain. So it's worth looking into, is it not? And Uncle Sam says the hypothesis is that humans have been observing the world for thousands of years, the weather, the atmosphere, the astronomical arrangements as a species, says Uncle Sam, I would submit there exists a wealth of communal knowledge.
At some point in time, our ancestors started to log data points or data your mileage is up to you, and started to notice recurring patterns and then started to predict certain aspects of life, like when was the best time to plant crops, when was the best time to harvest those crops. Over time, these points become common knowledge. Folks start to notice patterns, they start to correlate patterns,
and these correlations go beyond their crops. Correlations like children born in late spring typically grew up to be the healthiest people born in late autumn. More likely to have mental health problems, etc. And so, with all this in mind, Uncle Sam says, is it so far fetched to suggest that earlier humans found cycles and patterns to also have a significant correlation with attributes and behaviors of their fellow
human beings. There's a lot more to it, but I want to get us to I want to get us to a point you make, your uncle Sam, you say to Wit, I believe that at some point in the future, a bunch of dedicated astrologists will load every data set they can find from as far back as they can find into an artificial intelligence program that compares astrology to real world data sets and spits out a model that has an accuracy rate above fifty, which would make it scientifically significant and make it legit.
I'm I'm stuck in daily horoscopes and trying to I'm clicking through them, trying to find things that correlate to what you're saying so that I can have a call out to our horoscope. But none of them are. They're they're so varied on all these sites.
Keep them there all right? Well, sorry, Noda, what are the okay? Well, as as a group of leos, as a pride a lot. Yes, what do we got?
I don't know. I found out Chris Hemsworth is born right around the same time that we are.
I don't know that checks out.
They're talking about retrograding venus and all kinds of stuff that doesn't make sense. Guys, But hey, we may discover a talent that we've been neglecting. It has a resurgence and it's going to bring us more money, is what it.
Says, you know of the one of the things speaking of fortune telling and stuff, one of the things that I always do when I'm abroad, especially in uh well, I'll just say it, like when when I end up in Japan. There there are all these shrines where they will give you a fortune for a very small amount of money, and I've just stopped opening them. I carry them around and if someone's having a like a bad day, then I will give them a fortune.
And you should do the same thing with the magic cards.
I knew you were going to say it, but they're for you.
Therefore, yeah, you as in.
Okay, it's for you, as in the people of bald Knob, Queenslant. This is our segue, your little letter from home, cleanse the palette have some fun in these our challenging times. Guys. Black Shep or black Sheep black Shepey wrote to us and said, greetings chaps, condolences on the collapse of your once proud nation. Black Shep. Yeah, I know it's that Australian humor for you. Black Shep is the name in educating Americans about Australia is my game.
Uh.
Please find attached the list of places you should visit when you come down Under. Please be sure to have a live session in either Sydney or Melbourne, or pronounce it correctly to convince your suits that you can make a buck on the tour. Now, we just got this crazy list of Australia's worst place names. Did you guys see this?
Give it to us? I can't wait. I want to hear it cold.
I saw this randomly somewhere else and I don't know. This must be in the zeitgeist. This is a this is a great list.
Let's just you know what, let's just round rob it now. We're going to start at the top. We're going to read these as quickly as possible. Maybe maybe we do rounds of five.
Are these really real?
All right?
Well?
Holy Cow the first time, Australia's Worst Place.
These are real places. We're going to give you.
The We're going to give you the town names. Uh not not the wider thing, just for time. Okay, I'll kick this off. We'll do five at a time. Bald Knob, big Dick, Boar, big knob, water Hole, Bonar Street, Boobs, Flat Booby Island.
Boomer's Bottom, bottom hole, break Wind Reserve, bull Hill, bum Bum bum Bum Creek. That's my favorite. I want to live in Bumbum Creek.
I guess I'll say it.
I get sick. Yeah, I did six to push you into this one.
Kids, close your ears, Burnt pussy, mine, Humman's knob, cockwash, Dancing, Dick's Creek, dead Woman's Hole hole.
Dead Woman's hole.
And then of course there's the opper, Dirty Dick Creek, double knob, finger Buttress, funny knob Creek and goat knobs.
We got great Dick Hill, Groper Grotto. That's the that's in the play. Guy guys, guys, dirty hole, hopping, Dick's Creek, Hooker Park, horny point horse, knob, horse cocks.
Yeah, oh yeah, here you go in a loup intercourse Island licking hole.
Incurse Island should be like a reality show.
I think it is.
I think that was a joke thing. I feel like i've heard Intercourse Island before.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You said licking hole.
Yeah, licking hole. I want to say Nick Kroll is involved with Intercourse Island.
And then it's you know what, it's probably one of his sketches on croll Show. Maybe I make you.
Wrong, licking hole, as you said, lovely bottom Minger, Well, ming Inger, Well that's Minger being naughty about it. Okay, but don't forget mossy nipple bend.
How could I have? That's where I met my first love?
And where would you be without where? Look, let's just let's just cut this. Because we promised we would get some fun us names to you, black sheep. So we do want to give a shout out to all the good folks in Tittybong Tit, Wobble Lane, Soy Bottom Point, Shaving Holes, Creek. No, these are all in Australia, and of course Mount Buggery Stinkhole.
You didn't mention this. Can't forget stinkhole. We've also got the butts and the nipples.
This is ridiculous.
He gave us. They forged this so that we'd say naughty things on our PG thirteen podcast.
So fair is fair. With pro quo plarice, we're going to give you and all of our Australian listeners some fun names from US towns. Welcome to Satan's Kingdom Massachusetts. There's also ding Dong, Texas, Handsome Eddie, New York. That guy's a legend. And then why not North Carolina.
I don't want to why not.
Shout out to my hometown, Coming.
George Georgia I was talking about covered earlier.
Coming is number one on ten tiny American towns with unbelievably obscene names.
So there's toad Suck and Coming is also the home of the kkking.
These are not nearly as cool though, got it, that's true as the Australian ones. We've got Climax Michigan, Hooker, Oklahoma. We do have Intercourse, Pennsylvania. It's not an island though, and Hornytown, North Carolina. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin is one of my personal favorites.
I like Frankenstein, Missouri, and I hope they're really.
Leaning into that really quickly. I just found another site that's got a bunch more briny breezes. These are all in Florida, Bunker Donation, Fluffy Landing, some of these are just silly need more Florida, Georgia. There's a place called Ball's Ferry and Boneville, and of course Butts Coming Experiment, Faceville, Flippin' gum Log, hard Up and Piles Marsh And that's it for me, y'all.
And then of course, since we're strating on, we can't leave slickpoo, Idaho and Hell Michigan off the map there, so we'd love to hear your favorite town names. Also, while we are wrapping up tonight's listener Male segment, I have a question for Tennessee Pal Dylan. What is doof doof music?
Doof doof music? Is four on the floor dance music supposedly boots and Cats also known as boots and cats.
There we go, OK, very confusing, but yes, I do enjoy doof doof music?
You heard it here first, folks. That's why that's why we tune in for the breaking journalism of the day. We want to hear from you, big big thanks, of course, the Sam Black Chepe Noble Grand Humbug baby bird and easy. Tell us what's on your mind. Give us thoughts for something that you think your fellow listeners would enjoy in an upcoming episode of stuff they don't want you to know.
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We have a phone number. It is one eight three three std WYTK. When you call in, give yourself a cool nickname and let us know if we can use your name and message on the air. Tell us about your hometown and whether or not it's got a weird name. What's it known for? Is there anything weird going on in the town?
Weird museum?
Yeah, by the way, coming Georgia. Also a home of Flash of Crimson band from Forsyth Central not just the KKK all right, Hey OKKK. If you got more to say than could fit in a voicemail, why not instead send us a good old fashioned email.
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