We've mentioned the difference between curiosity and evaluation a few times on the podcast before. In this episode, we drill down further than ever in search of a deeper understanding. Mercedes opens with curiosity and Justin closed with evaluation. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Be...
Nov 19, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 39
Part 2 of my chat with Irene Lyon! IRENE Website - https://irenelyon.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/irenelyon/ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkXgr0E9ZWUg4iSDEUKqVA Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lyonirene Twitter - https://twitter.com/Irene_Lyon Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats...
Nov 12, 2019•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 38
Show notes are available at https://www.justinlmft.com/post/irenelyon Links are to Amazon, where I get a portion of the sale at no extra cost to you. Gabor Mate, When The Body Says No - https://amzn.to/2VNe0Q3 Peter Levine, Trauma Through a Child’s Eyes - https://amzn.to/2WHc7Fj Bruce Perry, Born for Love - https://amzn.to/2PO3x6i Bruce Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog - https://amzn.to/2r6pJ0T The Story of Ryan - https://youtu.be/3WI3aUfsNxM The Story of Teddy - https://youtu.be/dNts7T8_V...
Nov 05, 2019•59 min•Season 1Ep. 37
Another excellent question from a fellow Trauma Nerd - are shutdown and introversion the same thing? We don't have a crystal clear answer on that, but we've got an interesting discussion on it. We'd love to hear what you think - send an audio message via email or Instagram DM! More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Mugs & more from Justin - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Intro/Outro music & Tra...
Oct 31, 2019•12 min
We look at jealousy and insecurity - how are they connected? Are they actually the same thing? And how do they tie into the Polyvagal Theory? Our response to a listener question. If you're new to the Polyvagal Theory, definitely listen to at least episodes 1-4 of this podcast. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Intro/Outro music & T...
Oct 29, 2019•27 min•Season 1Ep. 36
If you're stuck in shutdown, you're definitely not alone. Getting out of shut down and back up the polyvagal ladder might require less fighting than you think. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Mugs & more from Justin - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books...
Oct 24, 2019•23 min
We already know that the environments we spend time in are filled with cues of danger and safety. The workplace is no different. But what about how our coworkers, the work culture and work hierarchies? Justin & Mercedes take a look at a couple new aspects to the workplace that might be affecting your place on the polyvagal ladder. Your homework assignment - Go out of your way to greet someone new at work. MORE POLYVAGAL PODCAST CONTENT for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal...
Oct 22, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 35
The work isn't done FOR us or TO us. It's on us though. Get even more Polyvagal Podcast content, including the rest of this livestream, for $5 a month here - justinlmft.com/members
Oct 17, 2019•12 min
More in depth show notes are available here - https://www.justinlmft.com/post/jillmiller Check out the Coregous Ball for yourself here - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRXJ9BB/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d Buy her yoga tune up balls for yourself! - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DJN1V48/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d We...
Oct 15, 2019•43 min•Season 1Ep. 34
More in depth show notes are available here - https://www.justinlmft.com/jillmiller Check out the Coregous Ball for yourself here - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRXJ9BB/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d Buy her yoga tune up balls for yourself! - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DJN1V48/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d Website...
Oct 08, 2019•41 min•Season 1Ep. 33
We talk in depth about why it's not necessarily helpful to ask "why" to someone you're listening to. We also talk about eyes and eyebrows when it comes to communication and what you may be signaling. PLUS we talk about the fact that you don't need to listen to someone if you aren't ready. Maybe it's best to wait until you're in your safe/social state! Great episode for friends, family and therapists. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast ...
Oct 01, 2019•35 min•Season 1Ep. 32
If you need even more Polyvagal Podcast content, we got it for you! https://www.justinlmft.com/members Contact either of us at - https://www.justinlmft.com/contact
Sep 26, 2019•11 min
You really try to understand me, even if I’m not making much sense. You grasp my point of view, even when it’s against your own sincere convictions. You realize the hour I took from you has left you a bit tired and a bit drained. You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions, even though you think they may be wrong. You do not take my problem from me but allow me to deal with it in my own way. You hold back the desire to give me good advice. You do not offer me religious solace when I am n...
Sep 24, 2019•25 min•Season 1Ep. 31
We look back on the 4 ways to express love that your child will experience as love and apply it to teens. Yes, they need your love too! the 4 Ways to Express Love episode - https://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats...
Sep 19, 2019•13 min
7 ways that you are not listening: You say you understand. You say you have an answer before you've heard the problem. You cut someone off before they finish speaking. You finish someone's sentences. You're dying to tell me something while I am talking. You share your experiences instead. You refuse my thanks. Your homework assignments - Notice when you are not listening. Accept gratitude. Connect with Harry Poliak, Life Coach - http://www.connectedconsciously.com/ Parents by Choice presentation...
Sep 17, 2019•22 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Watch the “Safe & Social” music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql2TGMRDh7k&feature=youtu.be Miles Irving Website - https://www.milesirving.com/ Forager - https://www.forager.org.uk/wild-food-blog/19-ideas-philosophy/140-worldwild-podcast More Polyvagal Podcast content in the Members' Area - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats...
Sep 05, 2019•12 min
All about consequences in this episode: Why they are important When they mean nothing Positive consequences vs gift/reward/bribe Natural consequences Your homework assignment - Plan out your consequence structure and discuss with everyone that needs to be a part of it. More detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode28 SUPPORT the Polyvagal Podcast and get access to exclusive BONUS EPISODES - http://www.justinlmft.com/ members CONTACT either of us - http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Intro...
Sep 03, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 28
Deb Dana - one third of my Polyvagal Trinity. Deb Dana is called "the Pied Piper of the Polyvagal Theory," and honestly someone I want to be like when I grow up. She does the stuff I do, but better and first. I gotta be honest. We talk in depth about: "Story follows State" Climbing the Polyvagal Ladder Diagnosing DEB DANA - http://www.debdanalcsw.com/ (these next two links will take you to Amazon, where I get a portion of the sale as an Amazon Affiliate.) The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy - https:...
Aug 27, 2019•53 min•Season 1Ep. 29
You're not you're diagnosis. It's a label - a shorthand system for professionals to use - to collect "symptoms" that typically occur together. It makes communication among therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists easier. And that's the point of diagnoses. And insurance building. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message
Aug 22, 2019•13 min
We go in depth into each of these four ways to express love. It's not enough to just love your kiddos, you also need to express it. And express it in ways they will be able to get. 1. Say it out loud 2. Write it down 3. Physical affection 4. Play DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats ...
Aug 20, 2019•32 min•Season 1Ep. 27
We answer two questions from our amazing Listeners. We originally answered these on our weekly Instagram Live segment, which you can be a part of every Sunday at 915pm PST. Consider supporting the podcast - $5/mo will give you access to the Bonus section and the exclusive episodes inside. This section is updated every 1-2 weeks! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message
Aug 15, 2019•19 min
Lots of co-regulation ground covered in this episode: Kids neurocepting danger cues your state vs your empathy your empathy vs your compassion face to face interaction self-regulation (for you, parent) DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode26 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum SUPPORT the podcast at - http://www.justinlmft.com/support Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor....
Aug 13, 2019•37 min•Season 1Ep. 26
We answer two more questions from our Dear Listeners about parenting - 1. "How can parents avoid creating a trauma with their kids?" 2."How do you approach a parent who is stuck?" Support the podcast here - justinlmft.com/support --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message
Aug 09, 2019•24 min
Self-regulation is built upon co-regulation. Kids aren't born able to self-regulate, but they are born ready to receive a parent's co-regulation. DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode25 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message...
Aug 06, 2019•21 min•Season 1Ep. 25
We answer two questions submitted by two of our amazing listeners: 1. How to best overcome a parental state shift? 2. Do toddlers experience defensive states more often than adults? Join us on Sunday nights on Instagram Live! We go live around 915pm PST. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message
Aug 02, 2019•11 min
Two big ideas discussed in this episode: 1. Strengthening the vagal brake as a fundamental purpose of parenting and why. 2. You don't control your kids. And you can't. And neither do we. No one does. DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode24 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/...
Jul 30, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Taken from an Instagram Live on July 21, 2019. we discuss the function of "Stories" or "Narratives" that a survivor of sexual assault may be living with. Join us on Instagram every Sunday night around 915pm PST. We answer questions and let people listen to a bit of what we're recording! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message
Jul 29, 2019•9 min
We apply the polyvagal theory to the process of psychotherapy. DETAILED SHOW NOTES on - http://www.justinlmft.com/ blog JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats Placebo https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6003660/ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032706000395 https://psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-p...
Jul 16, 2019•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Mercedes and I break down some real life examples of #badtherapy for the final time! Plus we share our own bad therapy and a couple of good therapy examples too. more detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode22 TREATMENT ABANDONMENT - https://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/09/ethics https://www.aamft.org/Legal_Ethics/Code_of_Ethics.aspx JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT us at justinlmft.com/contact --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpod...
Jul 09, 2019•49 min•Season 1Ep. 22
We look at more listener submissions of their #badtherapy experiences. And believe it or not, there's many more we haven't gotten to. More detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode21 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum JUSTIN Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/justinlmft/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/justinlmft Website - http://www.justinlmft.com Email - justinlmft@gmail.com MERCEDES Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mercedeslmft/ Twitter - https://www....
Jul 02, 2019•44 min•Season 1Ep. 21
